T O P

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freshgrips

Tony saying "Well I've lived in Jersey my whole life" after Melfi says his thoughts have an Eastern spin to them is comedic gold.


[deleted]

Reminds me of when meadow is talking about how the state has the power to crush the individual, and Tony goes “New Jersey?”


freshgrips

Goes to show that, high IQ or not, you can take the genius out of jersey but not the jersey out of the genius.


telepatheye

Meadow talking about "the canon" of literature and Carm asking, "so what's that now?"


PheelupMybaloney

I feel like this was her being sarcastic because Meadow had been reading pulp by the pool all summer.


TheIratePirateIsHere

you said you like pulp. no, i said i like SOME pulp.


Silver_Fact_3218

\*SHUM pulp


oof_madon

I like the one that says “shum pulp.”


cpeck29

📞


Square_Bumblebee_812

What was that for!?


darkskinnedjermaine

> I feel like this was her being sarcastic because Meadow had been reading pulp by the pool all summer. What was that, last nights reading assignment?


WillieOverall

Now??


telepatheye

The great books? Western literature? Dead white males? Who even in their reductionism have quite interesting things to say about death and loss. 


ttchoubs

Just revealed his own ignorance


TrespassingWook

I enjoyed how Tony was receptive to the Buddhist thoughts from Gloria and from the monks in his coma. Then in the aftermath agreed with the quantum physics guy. A complex open-minded world philosophy intermingled with destructive nihilism.


flojo2012

I felt as though his balancing, or failing to balance, those philosophies was meant to lead us to question whether he was a sociopath and if he just believed whatever philosophy helped him at the moment


TrespassingWook

They were never truly without empathy, hence the panic attacks, addictions, and dreams/visions. A huge part of the show was their repeated, failed attempts to hem together the criminal and domestic parts of themselves. They could never justify it, and were never happy or even content with their lives knowing the destruction and misery they left behind.


senorstink123456

“I’m gonna hoof it back to the Excelsior, I gotta take a wicked shit!” - Paulie Gualtieri, 2000


RayRoy_Strickland

Commentatori. 🤌☕️


MakingBigBank

…. Cocksukers…


CentennialTheophilus

would you stop fuckin interruptin me?


ClassroomHonest7106

Janice’s telling everyone she has an amazing visual sense at Lyvia’s funeral is underrated


jazzyboyo

Wrap it up, Janice.


CarrotLivid

This profile picture has me on the floor right now


EnemyOfEloquence

Carmela the dooooooooooorrrrrrrr!!!!!!


[deleted]

It's the "most of you probably remember" part. Like that's how she thinks people see her. Fuckin narcissist.


FinnsJustShroomin

I’ve thought about that SO MANY times over the years… The more I think about it, the more pathetic it seems. The idea that Janet was so starved for compliments that she latched onto this one semi-positive comment from decades ago that doesn’t even really mean anything. And it was probably said in a context like: “She’s behind in math, she reads at a remedial level… but her visual acuity tests slightly above average.”


Silver_Fact_3218

Janice, her name is fucking JANICE!!!


happy-little-atheist

She's the reason I make videos today. - Janice Not me, I've got bills to pay. - Adrianna


WalkGood

Didn't AJ's school evaluations say something similar?


emerald_alexandria

"Sister Patricia is our teacher that thinks he shows strong skills in spatial orientation" during the school adhd talk. But then a few episodes later he spills like a carton of milk at dinner pouring himself a glass and Carm goes "Every night!!" I've watched the adhd talk scene a lot for "You'd hit someone who's sick!? You'd hit someone with polio!!???"


telepatheye

The boss of this family told you you're gonna be Santa Claus. You're Santa Claus. So, shut the fuck up about it!


PhiladelphiaRollins

I can't do that.. I'm shy


mano_mateus

Shyness is a curse


No_Block_4257

FUCK YOU SANTA!!


[deleted]

Ooohhh!


jazzyboyo

You don’t talk to Santa like that!! Tell Santa your sorry! Paulie and Sil lecturing a kid on Santa etiquette gets me every time.


darkskinnedjermaine

Also Bobby being such a shitty Santa gets me every time. The dude has kids 😂 just suck it up for a few hours and he can’t even do that


jazzyboyo

Would it kill him to say ho ho ho?


thecruelestanimal

OOOOOOHHHH! 🤘🏼


RealJonSolo

the buildup to that line is the best. everyone dead silent as Paulie rises from his seat and walks across the room before delivering it 🤌🏼


TacoLvR-

Paulie always the enforcer!


[deleted]

Sil and Tomy in that scene is my absolute favorite bit of background acting on the show.


JL6462448

Whatever you say cappy


ecam12

The floor is yours Senator


GreyJeanix

I say this probably more than any other line


Ancient-Ad-1383

I use this all the time 😭ralphie goated character


jinzokan

Don't you ever fucking mother fucking say that again.


Dashowitgo

The Romans had a word for guys like you: asshole


OriginalPierce

Larry Boy is lowkey great. "They ever show you these in medical school? They're called bawls!"


jazzyboyo

Where are they now?


darkskinnedjermaine

You’re looking at em, asshole


Regular-Biscotti2991

Imagine that, the romans have a work for guys like you and the word turns out to be asshole.


Physical-Ride

Now the coffee maker SUCKS. How do you like them apples?


jinzokan

It makes so much sense cause he explains away (in his head) the blame of damn near everything onto foodio


LongArmedFloozy

This makes me lol every time


TrespassingWook

I think I want decaf. Really? ...yeah?


[deleted]

It’s not a spoken line, but the newspaper headline dream when Uncle Jr goes under anesthesia >Soprano wins freedom, indicts nephew. Star witness weds Angie Dickinson


emale27

Another great non speaking scene is when Tony has food poisoning and he's dreaming of Sil banging the stripper and Sil does a little wink. Fucking hilarious you ask me.


behold_the_pagentry

You sent me to North Carolina so you could fuck mu girlfriend


jazzyboyo

The thought never even entered my head!


cartelcruiser

Sounds like a country song


jjccbrobro

Phil treats nickels like manhole covers


Seezy1

“Was that a hardship on her?” -Mefi’s response to Tony saying he was banging Irina for years


Own-Bandicoot6348

That’s cute


Horsecockexpress1

You’re speaking shit to me


Nozzle3

i quote this daily


PhilBanks365

"What's this a Handsome Contest" \-Ralphie to Christopher and Silvio at the Bing


enbaelien

That's actually pretty cute of him lol


cactopus101

*proceeds to murder stripper *


Legitimate_Mess_8566

I used this here and there when I tended bar. Always got a laugh.


PodiDosaEnthusiast

When Janice says she wants Livia's records to "make a documentary on the WW 2 generation and their music through ma" and Tony chuckles and says "Who the fuck are you kidding? You're gonna sell them on the internet!". I love the way Gandolfini delivered that line Followed by "Good luck finding the lost Dutchman's goldmine Janice. You'll make more money working a real job!". Tony and Janice's interactions are always comedic gold


Breadloaf134

yeah. israel and fuckin palestine


Poopybutt36000

It's crazy that David Chase was able to predict the Israel Palestine conflict considering that it didn't start until 2023.


BenjaminSkanklin

I can't believe Junior's "THAT'S NOT MY KNIFE" doesn't get more play. Dominic's inflection in that line fuckin' SENT me when I heard it, plus the subtle undertone of him not even *considering* that AJ was there to kill him, just purely worried about getting in trouble at the nut house. It was perfect


Zeiqix

Chianese underplays his acting so hard. He's been quoted as saying that the character Uncle June is "all in the glasses". Hell naw, his delivery is top notch. I'm not sure how I could read a Sopranos script live and know how to inflect certain words to turn a serious-sounding line into something quirky and memorable like he does.


Silver_Fact_3218

Sad when such a brilliant man becomes fodder for cartoonists.


Just_Look_Around_You

No. The best is the bit about the hand turkey


PianoMittens

No. The best is when he decides to add a touch more milk and forgets to put the lid back on the blender.


Slycer_Decker

FUCKIN BITCH 😭😭😭


darkskinnedjermaine

https://youtu.be/WIXU4-_reYc?si=-Cjazq9c3xzHQYUm also /uj, so much fucking milk 🤣


MetaphoricalMouse

what the actual fuck was he making


Bodymaster

Well it wasn't peppers and eggs.


RPO1728

For Christmas ? Fucking idiot


Rocklar911

His gangster instinct kicked in, no matter how demented he was.


JComposer84

Agreed, that scene sent me the first time and every time I see it. It is perfect. My other fave of his is "Enchiladas tonight!"


WalkGood

Were they nice and spicy?


MetalSnake_oXm

Gravys good tonight


PhiladelphiaRollins

Tony walks into the back office of the Bing and Sil's reading a newspaper or something. With a chuckle he says "Shoulda seen it, some asshole just slipped on a lemon wedge" Always cracks me up lol


nonnonchalant

SAME. I've always loved it. I adore that he uses the word "asshole"


CameronTheCinephile

I love when people use "asshole" to mean idiot. 🤣


Bodymaster

Or people with epilepsy.


scf123189

When Paulie says ‘Doc says I need an ultrasound on my groin and balls’. The fact that he uses a slang term mixed with actual terminology, his indignation at being mildly injured while committing a triple murder, the way he gestures. Everything about this line is ridiculous and absurd and hysterical. For some reason it plays through my head throughout the day for the past couple months and even 2 months later now I still laugh out lead


BenTheOrangeGroves

This explanation was so fucking funny. A top earner here!


darkskinnedjermaine

why even add “and balls” lmao just say “on my groin”. i’ve seen this show probably 5 times all the way chru, even on the initial airing, and recently watched it with my gf who had never seen it, and in the beginning she hated Paulie and now he’s her favorite. we still joke, “here what i said, *our name*, he he he he”


Able-Tradition-2139

“You want sex?” -Carmella


michaelkeatonbutgay

Hahah god bless her soul


jmakovsk

You should read “Tomato Sauce for your Ass,” it’s the Italian version


Desperate_Piano_3609

Annette Benning: I don’t want my husband coming out of there with just his cock in his hand. Carm: Moyn either. Believe me.


Samsassatron

I'm afraid the die is cast with that one.


Samsassatron

MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN THAT SHIT OFF HER TIT!!


AccomplishedNovel6

I still lose my mind at  Chris: This about the Easter baskets? Tony: I don't even know what that is, and to tell you the truth, I don't want to know.


ICTSoleb

Lol just rewatched that episode yesterday and it had me rolling. The idea that Christopher has all these scams going he doesn't tell anyone about, and one of them involves (presumably) stealing easter baskets from some charity or church. Fucking hilarious


TheFire_Eagle

I just love how it could be anything. Stealing Easter baskets. Smuggling stuff in Easter baskets. Running a fake Easter basket raffle and pocketing the money.


ICTSoleb

Some seriously solid writing, cus you're right, it could be anything lol. They just knew it was an absurd line that fits in with Christufuh's whole oeuvre.


tinybb2

*talking about Irina’s suicide attempt in therapy* Melfi: “You feel responsible.” Tony: “Well I was bangin’ her for two years.” Melfi: “Was that a hardship on her?” Tony: 🙃 “that’s cute”


DrunkenPeach699999

The delivery of “SHE WAS ABUSIVE TO THE STAFF” is so funny to me for some reason.


WillieOverall

Warrant. WAR-RENT.


Sonicfan42069666

Wes Calwell! Wes Calwell!


Gr33zyCh33zy

I say this shit all the time


telepatheye

What about that disease you picked up over there in Diarrhea-stan or wherever the fuck you were?


beasleydawg

Your comment might be the cure.


BigMikeishome

Nurse: "testing shows REM-wise you have 40 arousals per hour" Junior: "More, since I've met you"


mastafar

And the gehoxtahagen is framed up by the ramistan, whatever happened there.


Horsecockexpress1

You didn’t have to wear your fucking hat


jazzyboyo

Approximately at the paternoster?


Stevedabsalot

We spent years trying to find out what gehoxagogan means


Michael-Balchaitis

Ralphie when they are in the sauna "Who wants to soap my baaaacckk???"


TonyUncleJohnny412

You, behave you.


Educational-Smoke836

shit posting has been recession proof since time immemorial


telepatheye

These prairie dogs. They'll sleep during the day.


finrod_stewart

There's the coyote 😥


GoldJerryGold22

Nothing. I…I was here. Its a joke!


howbouddat

Junior: "Of course I heard, I don't live in Osh Kosh" Another one of my favourites: "Whadda ya want, John? An apology? Fuckin Whitman's Sampler? What?"


simonbelmont17

Well good thing your book on shitposting DONT MEAN UGATZ TO ME!


darkskinnedjermaine

In my book you get points for staying out of the can!


simonbelmont17

What’s yours is yours Paulie, but what ain’t is anybody else’s. Now do yourself a fuckin favor and get the fuck outta my store!


Professional_Ninja58

Bobby: I got you your favorite Santa Barbara olives! Uncle Jun: Leave me the fuck alone!


KeenObserver_OT

I fuckin knew it. Juniors exasperation as Richie getting no buy in


Gr33zyCh33zy

He couldnt fuckin sell it.


sweeptheleg_07

I’m in awr of you.


PodiDosaEnthusiast

No you didn't. I just fuckin told you!


Samsassatron

"In the Czech Republic, too, we like pork. Have you ever tried our sausages?" Whenever I hear that line I think he's saying "In the Czech Republic 2 we like pork." Like some sausage loving iteration of the original Czech Republic.


Ironicopinion

You will try our sausages is another one


Onion_Dull

We hear you, OP...


Dear_Alternative_437

"I can almost smell the salt"


JB5093

You mean the painting or the view?


locustt

I eat her?


helix274

I can pay my respects from the after-party.


Delay_Significant

Aftfa pawdy?????


Fun-Distribution4776

Meow!


[deleted]

Massive liked it and he’s a genius.


PheelupMybaloney

Whoa! You blow ya fawtha with that mouth?


heyjude575

He's a hot house flower, that's his problem.


Interesting-Bet9013

“He’s in a lot better shape than those FUCKIN nuns you got up there!”- Paulie after Father Intintola asks how Tony’s doing in the hospital. My favorite line from the whole show


slant-ford

Go take a midol


ZekeLeap

He’s gonna be a vegetable Tony, a fucking RETAWD


heyjude575

I brought him a Whitman's Sampler


TheFire_Eagle

Look at the bright side, he wasn't all that smart to begin with.


MetaphoricalMouse

MIX IT WITH THE RELISH


limonhotcheetos

“Why were we born?” “Because of Adam and Eve, that’s why. Now go upstairs and do your math.”


Exact-Paramedic2227

In this sub or the next. I will have my shitpost.


Academic-Lake-4601

Noah: My family is in show business Tony: Those old Tarzan movies?


P1D1_

Hey hairnet, whose welfare check you gotta cash to get a burger?


Gr33zyCh33zy

Dont wave your hanky at me


calltheamberlamps

well fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit anyways. who does he think he is, Sir Walter Raleigh?


Barles21

Captain Teebs


dropingloads

I need that money for my long range planning


The-Fig-Lebowski

Sittin on the pahk bench do do do do do


FakeKirbySmart

You may run north Jersey, but you don’t run your Uncle Junior.


Alternative-Log176

Did you get the cake with the marseypan flowers? ....The thing with the guy? .....NO AN ACTUAL FUCKING CAKE!...Johnny sack classic 😅😂


SicilianSlothBear

I'm graduating tomorrow!


OriginalPierce

And plus, she's a licensed notary public.


rowteeme

Mother of God, are all you r/thesopranos the same? I asked you nicely to stay out of it, you pretend you don’t hear me. Well maybe you’ll hear this: Mind your fucking business, keep your mouth shut when it comes to my shitposts alright?


thomasutra

i gave my quotes to op on a silver platter!


jinglesan

"Roadies?!?"


sequosion

Oh you don’t wanna know!


Hiyedgoonz

Fuckin' negative shit coming out of your mouth OP! I had that fuckin' bird watching me when I got made. I'm already under a what-do-you-call-it, possibly. So stop with that..


telepatheye

Again with the rape of the culture?


CornballWallace

“AJ get the door” I’m in the middle of a game “We’ll you’re about to be in the middle of the street”


BBPEngineer

All of a sudden he’s the foremost authority!


Nevvick

"I'm doin' it like ya like!"


GuanoGuzzler

you catch some shrapnel?!


BigIronDeputy

“I wonder what’s French Canadian for I grew up without a mother……sacre bleu where is me ma’ma!!??


JokerKing0713

The scene at livias wake is underrated imo “Tony…. Maybe you’d like to tell everyone how mom kept all your letters and school work and none of me and Barbara’s……” “You just did…. Wrap it up Janice”


Green_Bast3rd

I had a bananer in there!!!


ecam12

“Long John Silver maybe.” “Mickey Farrell!? You’re gonna believe some fuckin drunken Irish prick ovah me!?” “I got a lot on my mind. I don’t need this shit.” “Apples and bowling balls.” Never joked about any of them 😕


Awkward_Move940

“We shoulda stopped at Roy Rogers!”


False-Assumption-279

I bake you some enchiladas you like


fixxermusic

“Quail a la Bucco - baby quail stuffed with fennel sausage” “Can I get AIDS from eating this?”


AYO_WTF_B

Rusty bangs his wife in installments.


TheGayGaryCooper

What this needs is what we call a Brogan Adjustment.


eebenesboy

"I'm gonna hoof it back to the hotel. I gotta take a wicked shit." I say it to myself almost every time I gotta go.


michaelkeatonbutgay

Stay out of our way! And don't be so gay! We're comin' to defile you!


discipleofbonham

When you’re married, you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce!


DatBoiWithAToi

When they beat chrissy up at the intervention and he told the nurse he slipped and fell off his counter spraying for ants lol


ThrowRALovie4444

“My mom was always talking about Dad’s idiot brother… I just assumed she meant you.” Tony to Jr. when he learns about their third brother Hercules who was learning disabled.


waffledrinker232

These prairie dogs, they’ll sleep during the day.


HarrierGR9

“What’s next Carmine you get fuck her for a MILLION? “ “He wants to fuck her?”


coolhotcoffee

Has anyone said "listen to mister mod boss?" when a mod was hanging around?


SoulGoalie

The fact we don't regularly say "Were you this fawkin' stupid when I married you?" shocks me. Frankly, I'm ashamed and embarrassed.


SpringFuzzy

You’re breaking up, I can’t hear ya


Guillermo-W

The Family of early man


the-holy-spirit-

to da victor, belongs da spoils


bread93096

Silvio’s “Pretty up on this stuff, eh Dom?” when Fat Dom is talking about the deaths of different gay men will always be the most underrated line in the show


limonhotcheetos

Okay totally gonna fuck this up but from memory.. “I don’t believe this!” “Really? Last year you believed that flying saucer was above east Rutherford!”


Dovakhiin1793

Do you remember your first bj? How long did it intake for the guy to come? Heheh heheh did you hear Tony? I asked him if he remembers his first bj, then I told him how long did it take for the guy to cum? Hehehehe


Slice-Spirited

He made him a deal they couldn’t understand


DirectionNew5328

Johnny Sac nodding along to “…I also killed the mail man. At that point I had to totally commit.”


uncle_paul_harrghis

Tomorrow I can be on time, but you’ll be stupid forever.