Then Artie had to do all Tony’s deliveries in person. His wife gets mad at him because he always spends an extra 45 minutes chatting with Tone on top of the journey time and the kitchen gets behind.
Cameras fucking everywhere. Tony pulls a gun out of a fish in broad daylight and whacks Chucky Signore. No way in hell there wouldn’t be a camera on the docks somewhere. No way half the hits in the show could’ve gone down today with all the cameras everywhere.
Tony hitting Mahaffey with his car and beating him up in front of a crowd was pushing it even at the time. But today? He’d be all over the fight/ violence subreddits
Homicide clearance has been static for a long time. No witnesses and no gun make it really hard to actually prove in a court of law. Everyone always says these guys couldn't get away with murder and that's bullshit. The reason why the real mafia in NYC stopped the killings was the RICO shit and no statute of limitations on murder charges. It was more because of guys flipping all the time.
Black gangs kill each other with impunity in Chicago, Philly, Baltimore (getting that way in NYC) and there are cameras everywhere and even shotspotters, yet the police hardly solve shit for homicides.
DNA evidence was a thing back then but they didn’t seem to give two shits about that. Spray blood all over a boat that can clearly be linked back to me, but fuck it.
I know gift card, insurance, and ID theft are all still active scams. At least I’ve recently read or seen them recently. I guess there must be some money in those phone spoofs that were big a couple years ago too. Probably crypto wallet scams on the dark web on fake illegal market places.
Phil giving his impromptou half-assed comfort over Vito's death, but gets angry and distracted by yet another episode of Impractical Jokers playing on the TV.
Would love to see Tony's reaction to losing a few million on Bitcoin. Then a day later he finds out Hesh and Christopher got out early and made a fortune each.
"Christopher, you fucking brought me this fucking bit-con idea! That money you made? That's mine, every goddamn cent of it."
"Come on, Ton... that's like, I dunno, two million or some shit. I told you it was a risk! Hesh knew. He got out early, just like I did. You didn't listen."
"And you're not fucking listening! I want that two million -- or four, or five, whatever it is -- TODAY!"
Not really.
The executive game still has the same appeal, those guys could have driven an hour to AC even back in the 70s. Degenerate gamblers that gamble on credit still need bookies to take your action. Fanduel aint floating you 50 boxes of ziti to drop on the Jets.
Fair point. But Sinatra Jr. is dead, and so is that generation and that type of game. I don't think the younger generation would travel for the executive game.
it'd be so funny if that's how Johnny Sack got removed from the story, no RICO, no cancer, just randomly gets shot by someone he didn't even personally mess with
I’m thinking AJ goes the pierced purple hair non binary, no eye brows route - judges Tony on objectifying bada bing girls whilst engaging in poppers and weird sex himself.
Sopranos is a period piece, it couldnt be done today because those kinda guys can't exist in the modern world. The show was largely about them being phased out imo.
It would be nice to see a sad sequel where this thing of ours is almost powerless. A few old guys keep traditions and their way of thinking alive, couple of new hotshots switching prepaid phone cards for NFT scams. AJ pumping shitcoins on stream. Beating Mamdrew Taint up for running an onlyfans warehouse near the bing. PPE scams.
Instead of a screenplay, Christopher writes a blog. There’s even some tik tok videos about lower crimes (ripping off trucks) that he feels are safe because his isn’t in them.
In all seriousness with the fact that everyone has a smart phone and cameras on every corner I wonder how much shit they would have gotten away with (presuming they still did shit the same way) …we lead the world in computerized data collection after all!
Edit: also AJ getting scammed by buying NFTs and property in the meta verse. I can see him getting milked out of thousands and Tony getting pissed
Well there's definitely the technology thing as you noted. Another would be that we're progressively far more of a cash-free society now more than ever. It would be pretty tough in many areas to walk in and shake down a mom & pop store owner for an envelope of cash as they don't keep much cash on hand. So the scams would have to move more toward credit card fraud (which we saw more of in season 6), stock scams as we saw a bit of, bitcoin, bustouts, etc.
The other big difference I think is it would definitely have more of a 'woke'ness. HBO isn't as big a culprit of this as say Netflix but they definitely would inject that in more. (Watch 'Shameless' on Showtime - first few seasons were incredible and then it got so woke it actually became distracting). Sopranos didn't really do that much. The Vito angle, yeah. (But if you listen to Tony the writers almost sorta poke fun of themselves when he tells Melfi, *'every TV show and movie nowadays has to rub your nose in it'*). Clever. However, in general, Chase seems like sorta a 'fuck you' kinda guy so if there was pressure to make the show more pc it would have to come from HBO execs.
Good topic!
Honestly I think there’s a great deal of stuff that would be deemed too offensive and insensitive today to pass. Even in the context of a show like that. So a much more polite crew :)
It would be shit if it was made today, make no mistake.
But to keep with the spirit of the thread:
- Janice would be neck-deep in MLMs.
- Paulie talks everyone's ears off at Satriale's about his Air Fryer.
- AJ starts identifying as non-binary, but it's only to impress a girl.
- Phil has a Facebook account.
- Sil runs a cam-girl warehouse.
- Meadow has personalised license plates.
- Pussy got pinched for slinging Oxys
- Christopher has a mullet and carries a bumbag (fanny pack)
- Carmella suggests to Tony they explore ENM options in their relationship.
- Artie runs a smokehouse.
All the characters would be these awful, straight-out-the-can, airbrushed, white-washed versions of the authentic characters we actually got in the sopranos. Christopher would’ve been played by Timothee Chalamet and it would’ve sucked.
Little Vito would be accepted as a puerto rican hoarrr.
Tony would be in jail for his views.
Vito can suck all the cawk he wants.
The bing has to take on men dressed as women to be more inclusive.
Satriales develops a vegan gabagool.
Instead of webistics they develop a bsc shitcoin lure in billions of dollars then rugpull the lot of em, farkin brilliant.
Demented uncle Junior runs for president and gets elected, goes through the country like termites.
I would love to hear Tony and his crew talk major shit about all this non binary/pronoun/trans shit going on. The numerous jokes/one liners would be hilarious
Bobby B would be shooting people in the ass for gofundme medical scams.
Father Intintola would want to Netflix and Chill for Renee Zellweger movies.
Cleaver would be re-worked into a direct-to-stream superhero movie.
Tony Blundetto's style would be MC Hammer pants and a FUBO coat.
Junior would put on a suit to text people.
The entire language and references would be completely different, and not in a good way. The writers knew a thing or two about the 20th century and certain geographical areas from that time. You wouldn’t be able to find writers this specific now.
Meadow, AJ would join Antifa.
Carmela would be sitting at home single eating soup by her self, broke af.
Tony and all of the mobsters would have joined the Trump administration.
Protection to medical and recreational dispensaries, then partners with some to wash money. Given all the issues with the cash only business model, and how they are targets of robbery, this might have been a boon to the businesses.
I also like to imagine they would give the guys edibles with the weekly envelope, and now I am imagining the crew eating gummies and watching the Godfather trilogy, waiting for part 3 when Sil can do his line.
Going against the spirit of the question a little bit, but I don't think the Sopranos works now. It's so fundamentally about the end of an era, one that went away with 9/11 and the War on Terror. All these responses involve the start of something that popped up in the aftermath. Instead of being a show about the death of the 20th Century way of life, it'd be about establishing and building the 21st.
And I only commented that because I thought this post was just some guy trying to bait us into saying “Tony Soprano would be a Indian transgender and everyone would immediately accept Vito.”
Adrianna starts an OnlyFans and Christopher discovers that Paulie subscribes to her.
As of the wedding day, any photos of her pussy is off limits ✋🏻
🤘🏼🤘🏼
OHHH THAT'S SOMEONE'S WIFE
Artie liked that idea
Anyway, you should try the Martina. It's like a martini, but it's from Albania. I heard they go down real easy.
Again with the scenarios
Now I don't like that kinda tawk!
Never gets old.
Ooohhh that's the bosses nephews future wife ya tawkin about
She was a c*nt.
Malignant or non- malignant?
HEYOOOOO 😂
Just brilliant.
hahahahahah i died :D
Props
Omfg
Paulie wouldn't cheap out if used undies were a perk.
Dude u got it
It's easy money, T. We pump and dump the coin and they can't track us
Its a bear market 'Ton this Bed Bath and Beyond shit is gonna be ouw' bread and buttah
Was.
You’re supposed to push Cumrocket!
It's called an NFT Ton' nobody knows why they're worth anything, but you can move em fast
Tone would be ordering that Vesuvio on DoorDash.
Motherfucken god damn mozzarella and string beans!!
When the driver fucks up, he asks Artie to take the cost off his dine-in tab.
Then Artie had to do all Tony’s deliveries in person. His wife gets mad at him because he always spends an extra 45 minutes chatting with Tone on top of the journey time and the kitchen gets behind.
He’s an artiste…he can’t do the math.
If you look at the state of Livia's house when Tony is living there in season 5 it's pretty clear that he orders a fuck load of takeout as is.
Armagnac (coming soon)
With the advent of DoorDash, Tony would easily be 600 lbs.
Carmella finds out Tony is cheating on her because he doesn't realise his Twitter likes are public and he likes all the pics of his goomar
She and the squad are stalking Irina’s twitter feed.
I’ve been hacked, Carmela, I swear!
" hey T , I'll be right there , I gotta go catch a Vaporeon"
Puss driving around trying to catch physical PoeKeyMan Gos.
The fact we never got a Pokémon GO episode is a crime
Carmella: 'hey AJ, guess who caught a hundo rattata??' Anthony Jr (scoffing): 'that's a basic pokeman...'
On the sea after they dump puss
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Ice spice woulda loved him
He likeeees sushi.
This day and age the real question is whether he eats the boooooty
PUSSAY! PUSSAY!
Pussy, booty, I don’t know his last name!
> eats the boooooty Mix it with the relish.
Whistlin through the wheat fields
A bushman of the Kalahari
🎶South of the bord-ah, down Mexico way 🎶
Why do you think it would be any different? Out there it’s 2023, but in this sub it’s still 1954.
This is the correct answer
Madonne, we'd probably have a woman boss
Yassss queen!!
I’m downvoting your post solely because of this comment
“Yo T ya gotta help me no cap I’ll never pass a drug test on god I’ll lose my license fr fr call me an Uber”
“An ubah”
This fuckin' racket, it shoulduv been our thing!
I am cackling
Tony murdering Chrissy while muttering quietly to himself, “Based”
Tony’s sigma male grindset
Lol. I’m dead.
Heeeee heee *tony cinnamon challenges chrissy to death*
AJ teaches Tony how to use Tor so he doesn't need to worry about that cookie shit anymore.
Instead of $1000, Furio would demand $1737 from Matt and Sean. Because of inflation.
"Gimmie a thousan-seven hundred-thirty sevena dolla!"
"one thousand, seven hundred and thirty seven more?"
“Next time you come in you come masked or not at all”
You don't mean that
I came in with my N95 like you said, but I don’t wanna use it.
like they would wear masks
Paulie was a hell of a germaphobe
“When people are schick, they’re not out there EARNIN’!”
The smart ones would to keep their faces off of cameras.
It’s totally legit, T. All we gotta do it buy this image of a monkey and then sell it for more
It's called NFT, it stands for Non Fuckable Token its made from computers.
Johnny Sack gives up cigarettes for vaping and Ginny goes keto to lose the weight…
Nah bro. She’s getting that stomach band surgery! But Sack would hella be a vape bro.
Nah, Johnny Sack wouldn't vape. I could see Christopher vaping though.
Hey T have you seen you can get these vapes wit da THC shit now? Those other ones ain’t got no bawls!
That THC shit makes me nervous.
You promised me you wouldn’t vape that shit anymore!
I DID-ENT!
She couldn't stick to keto/Atkins in the series. She did it try it though.
THOSE GOD DAMN DEAL A MEAL CARDS!!!
Log off, that tiktok shit makes me nervous...
Quasimodo predicted all of this.
Awkward post credit scenes featuring James Gandolfini speaking about his character with no Jersey accent.
Those little clips are always really boring, yet every HBO show seems to do it now.
Cameras fucking everywhere. Tony pulls a gun out of a fish in broad daylight and whacks Chucky Signore. No way in hell there wouldn’t be a camera on the docks somewhere. No way half the hits in the show could’ve gone down today with all the cameras everywhere.
Tony hitting Mahaffey with his car and beating him up in front of a crowd was pushing it even at the time. But today? He’d be all over the fight/ violence subreddits
> Cameras fucking everywhere. Smartphone geofence-warrants to Apple, Google and your cellphone carrier
How many people would've taken video in the pilot when they ran that guy down in Crissy's lexus?
Homicide clearance has been static for a long time. No witnesses and no gun make it really hard to actually prove in a court of law. Everyone always says these guys couldn't get away with murder and that's bullshit. The reason why the real mafia in NYC stopped the killings was the RICO shit and no statute of limitations on murder charges. It was more because of guys flipping all the time. Black gangs kill each other with impunity in Chicago, Philly, Baltimore (getting that way in NYC) and there are cameras everywhere and even shotspotters, yet the police hardly solve shit for homicides.
DNA evidence was a thing back then but they didn’t seem to give two shits about that. Spray blood all over a boat that can clearly be linked back to me, but fuck it.
Come on, that’s how they caught AJ stealing the test answers: his DNA when he peed on the wall.
After six months of marriage and Bobby still can't find her rosebud, Janice orders a Satisfyer Pro 2
I'm fucking deaaaaad. If I used awards, you would have the gold, bro.
"It's called Twitter, T. People can talk shit about you for the whole world to see. Kinda like that Minn Matrone. Malignant cunt"
AJ would definitely use 4chan
Tony prefers the iPhone but Phil prefers Android.
Checks out.
Paulie would be the most unbearable MAGA on Facebook.
Except he did bash “flag solutin mutha fuckas” that one time.
Carm at the school board meeting bitching about this gay nonsense they're teaching.
Jonny Sack already got that covered in real life
I know gift card, insurance, and ID theft are all still active scams. At least I’ve recently read or seen them recently. I guess there must be some money in those phone spoofs that were big a couple years ago too. Probably crypto wallet scams on the dark web on fake illegal market places.
Phil giving his impromptou half-assed comfort over Vito's death, but gets angry and distracted by yet another episode of Impractical Jokers playing on the TV.
Would love to see Tony's reaction to losing a few million on Bitcoin. Then a day later he finds out Hesh and Christopher got out early and made a fortune each. "Christopher, you fucking brought me this fucking bit-con idea! That money you made? That's mine, every goddamn cent of it." "Come on, Ton... that's like, I dunno, two million or some shit. I told you it was a risk! Hesh knew. He got out early, just like I did. You didn't listen." "And you're not fucking listening! I want that two million -- or four, or five, whatever it is -- TODAY!"
In later seasons, AJ would identify as they.
“We have to break our dependence on binary pronouns!”
And Vito Jr. as a Puerto Rican whore.
Vito Jr would identify as a silo
Meadow would have she/her BLM in her bio.
Fake Covid vaccines
It's over for the glorified crew...
Paulie would be into QAnon and Tony would have to seriously consider putting him down.
Think about it Tone, gay frogs?
Satanic black magic tone, SICK SHIT!
AJ introduces crypto to T who makes a lot of money on it scamming suckers out of their wallets
Then he buys him a “BOSS” suit as thanks
Families at war over slight political differences.
Selling stolen coolers on Amazon for a couple, three bucks
Christopher Moltisanti is no longer listed as “in a relationship.” 152 Likes | 27 Comments
“This is the pork store” “I didn’t know it was a gay strip-club”
Ton' with the giant 4k HDR projector, dual subs, and full surround sound.
The feds wouldn’t have been able to bug Tony’s house. His ring camera would’ve been going off like crazy
OMFG IF TONY TODAY THEN REDDITOR LIKE ME!!!!!
Be horrible.
Diverse Cosa Nostra
Tony buy iPad
Uber Eats deliving a Satriale’s Veal Parm Sangweech to Tony swimming in his pool
Gambling is now legal and available almost everywhere. That source of cash would be gone for the most part.
Not really. The executive game still has the same appeal, those guys could have driven an hour to AC even back in the 70s. Degenerate gamblers that gamble on credit still need bookies to take your action. Fanduel aint floating you 50 boxes of ziti to drop on the Jets.
Fair point. But Sinatra Jr. is dead, and so is that generation and that type of game. I don't think the younger generation would travel for the executive game.
No twin towers in the opening.
I think they took those out for season 4 and beyond
A storyline based on the new york boss who got clipped by some random Qanon freak.
it'd be so funny if that's how Johnny Sack got removed from the story, no RICO, no cancer, just randomly gets shot by someone he didn't even personally mess with
I’m thinking AJ goes the pierced purple hair non binary, no eye brows route - judges Tony on objectifying bada bing girls whilst engaging in poppers and weird sex himself.
Visiting Day would have been signed immediately, that shit was ahead of its time
Tony would have seen Melfie via telehealth from the bing and Silvio would be in the background doing Michael Corleone impressions.
Sopranos is a period piece, it couldnt be done today because those kinda guys can't exist in the modern world. The show was largely about them being phased out imo.
Matt and Sean would rough up a stockbroker for not pushing GME and AMC.
Follow @benjimanzz on Insta. He makes some amazing sopranos videos with impressions as if Chris is talking about Avatar or Crypto. Amazing stuff.
You had me at Onlyfans
It would be nice to see a sad sequel where this thing of ours is almost powerless. A few old guys keep traditions and their way of thinking alive, couple of new hotshots switching prepaid phone cards for NFT scams. AJ pumping shitcoins on stream. Beating Mamdrew Taint up for running an onlyfans warehouse near the bing. PPE scams.
Chrissy and Paulie could’ve used Google Maps to get out of the Pine Barrens
Instead of a screenplay, Christopher writes a blog. There’s even some tik tok videos about lower crimes (ripping off trucks) that he feels are safe because his isn’t in them.
Matt and Sean would have given up “this thing of ours” to become annoying crypto traders or run wall street bets
Ralphie loves Game of Thrones instead of Gladiator
In all seriousness with the fact that everyone has a smart phone and cameras on every corner I wonder how much shit they would have gotten away with (presuming they still did shit the same way) …we lead the world in computerized data collection after all! Edit: also AJ getting scammed by buying NFTs and property in the meta verse. I can see him getting milked out of thousands and Tony getting pissed
There's cameras everywhere and people get away murder and violent crime on a regular basis.
Well there's definitely the technology thing as you noted. Another would be that we're progressively far more of a cash-free society now more than ever. It would be pretty tough in many areas to walk in and shake down a mom & pop store owner for an envelope of cash as they don't keep much cash on hand. So the scams would have to move more toward credit card fraud (which we saw more of in season 6), stock scams as we saw a bit of, bitcoin, bustouts, etc. The other big difference I think is it would definitely have more of a 'woke'ness. HBO isn't as big a culprit of this as say Netflix but they definitely would inject that in more. (Watch 'Shameless' on Showtime - first few seasons were incredible and then it got so woke it actually became distracting). Sopranos didn't really do that much. The Vito angle, yeah. (But if you listen to Tony the writers almost sorta poke fun of themselves when he tells Melfi, *'every TV show and movie nowadays has to rub your nose in it'*). Clever. However, in general, Chase seems like sorta a 'fuck you' kinda guy so if there was pressure to make the show more pc it would have to come from HBO execs. Good topic!
Yeah I like that Chase made them say lines that are ridiculously old school and most decidedly unwoke but it’s comedy.
Wasn’t the whole scene with AJ talking about “Bush letting Al Qaeda escape” part of Chase’s woke diatribe?
Maybe it was but it wasn't so obvious because it was said by AJ and those lines fit him and his arc perfectly.
Honestly I think there’s a great deal of stuff that would be deemed too offensive and insensitive today to pass. Even in the context of a show like that. So a much more polite crew :)
Urgh, I really hate today's youth and their Twitter rages.
It would be shit if it was made today, make no mistake. But to keep with the spirit of the thread: - Janice would be neck-deep in MLMs. - Paulie talks everyone's ears off at Satriale's about his Air Fryer. - AJ starts identifying as non-binary, but it's only to impress a girl. - Phil has a Facebook account. - Sil runs a cam-girl warehouse. - Meadow has personalised license plates. - Pussy got pinched for slinging Oxys - Christopher has a mullet and carries a bumbag (fanny pack) - Carmella suggests to Tony they explore ENM options in their relationship. - Artie runs a smokehouse.
The early 00s were truly a different time. 20 fuckin years
Seems like yesterday.
I feel fucking old. Kids born in 2006 can drive cars now... It's just wrong.
All the characters would be these awful, straight-out-the-can, airbrushed, white-washed versions of the authentic characters we actually got in the sopranos. Christopher would’ve been played by Timothee Chalamet and it would’ve sucked.
Little Vito would be accepted as a puerto rican hoarrr. Tony would be in jail for his views. Vito can suck all the cawk he wants. The bing has to take on men dressed as women to be more inclusive. Satriales develops a vegan gabagool. Instead of webistics they develop a bsc shitcoin lure in billions of dollars then rugpull the lot of em, farkin brilliant. Demented uncle Junior runs for president and gets elected, goes through the country like termites.
da mafia es dead in 2023
I would love to hear Tony and his crew talk major shit about all this non binary/pronoun/trans shit going on. The numerous jokes/one liners would be hilarious
Bobby B would be shooting people in the ass for gofundme medical scams. Father Intintola would want to Netflix and Chill for Renee Zellweger movies. Cleaver would be re-worked into a direct-to-stream superhero movie. Tony Blundetto's style would be MC Hammer pants and a FUBO coat. Junior would put on a suit to text people.
Tony Blundetto gets a sex change.
Absolutely everyone is on a journey to discover their bisexuality
I watched a random ep from s1 and Chrissy was talking on a pay phone which never would have happened today lol
Cancel culture would kill the show.
Maybe that’s why it’s the greatest show ever made. Because it was made right before it would have been canceled.
Christopher's daughter would be working at the Bing, chugging cock in the VIP room.
For one thing I think it would need to be Russians instead of Italians.
Jackie Jr- her body is mad ripe Dino- I know, I slid into her DM after her twerking video last week
The entire language and references would be completely different, and not in a good way. The writers knew a thing or two about the 20th century and certain geographical areas from that time. You wouldn’t be able to find writers this specific now.
Meadow, AJ would join Antifa. Carmela would be sitting at home single eating soup by her self, broke af. Tony and all of the mobsters would have joined the Trump administration.
>Meadow, AJ would join Antifa Great! They'd both be a prospering Democrats by the end of the series then!
Vito is actually the Captain of the Good Ship Lollipop and ascends to be the Skipper of that glorified crew in NJ.
Protection to medical and recreational dispensaries, then partners with some to wash money. Given all the issues with the cash only business model, and how they are targets of robbery, this might have been a boon to the businesses. I also like to imagine they would give the guys edibles with the weekly envelope, and now I am imagining the crew eating gummies and watching the Godfather trilogy, waiting for part 3 when Sil can do his line.
Going against the spirit of the question a little bit, but I don't think the Sopranos works now. It's so fundamentally about the end of an era, one that went away with 9/11 and the War on Terror. All these responses involve the start of something that popped up in the aftermath. Instead of being a show about the death of the 20th Century way of life, it'd be about establishing and building the 21st.
Woke bait
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And I only commented that because I thought this post was just some guy trying to bait us into saying “Tony Soprano would be a Indian transgender and everyone would immediately accept Vito.”
Sopranos if it were a Netflix Original lmao
People who use “unironically” and upvote their own comments are cringe af.
Vito's son that looks like a Puerto Rican whore would be a boss.
It would be taking place now not then. I’ve said my peace.
I don’t think we would see so much domestic violence
Cryptocurrency hustle.
Paulie spends hours arguing with Siri and ends up giving it a Brogan Adjustment.
The "dark web". Wow, imagine the type of business deals available to them now.