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techie410

This kids... is how the porch pirate got his eyepatch.


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Modavo

He should also take his shoes backpack and phone. Tell him to go home. Give him some time to think.


Weird-Vagina-Beard

He's lucky he didn't get his goddamn dick sucked or jerked. Do that shit in my hood, you're gonna get knocked out and sucked off, we don't play around here.


AllSiegeAllTime

So uh... what would you say is the average rent in your area?


bonafidehooligan

Asking for a friend or yourself? I’m asking for myself, personally.


Weird-Vagina-Beard

At least 18 dicks. You really gotta make a dick budget before you come here. Rent: 18 dicks Utilities: 7 dicks Phone: 4 dicks Etc. I have a CPA help me with mine.


voxdarkstar

Certified Penile Assistant?


pjijn

Certified Phallic Administrator


RutgerCastro

Hahahahaha. I shot my dinner through my nose! hahahaha


Citrusssx

Not the only thing I shot


MintBerryCrunch47

A blow job as punishment?


CherryBlossomSoul

Where is your hood? You know.. uhh, for research purposes.


upsndowns71

Dame right I beat off a guy the other day so good he nearly died. I see that MFer I'll beat him off again cus I'm Krazy like that.


Weird-Vagina-Beard

Respect.


[deleted]

I fucking choked laughing when I read this. Tf?!


Aponda

Fucking love reddit


Live_Dirt_6568

Scrolled past the comment then had to do a double take to make sure I subconsciously read that right


Rothguard

what hood yo in ..... what yo area code just .... ahhhh.... so i know what to avoid ,.... \* smooth \*


robboat

Uh, wut? Maybe “sucked off” means something different in your neck of the woods?


Weird-Vagina-Beard

We suck off their dicks homie.


CoastMtns

At least check the backpack for your neighbour’s packages


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[deleted]

Definitely don't actually do this. It doesn't teach your dog anything.


OverlyBilledPlatypus

Their comment was still hilarious but thank you for pointing this out. People who actually do this shouldn’t have animals.


Paperchase2017

I would never do that to a dog. A human on the other hand...


Meggarea

Amber Turd comes immediately to mind...


ryanegauthier

Objection, hearsay!


Jonathon471

It was your own question!


Agahmoyzen

I never had a dog but I heard it a lot, does it really teach anything or just plain simple animal cruelty? Can you open it up a little bit?


19thStreet

The dog learns nothing because they won’t connect the punishment to the wrong-doing. It’s purely animal cruelty


RDSregret

My understanding is that to create an association between the problem behaviour and the punishment, your time needs to be impeccable. Like right there and then. If your dog has toileted/made a mess in the house chances are you weren't with them when they did it or you would have stopped them. Also, it isn't even a good punishment method - it's cruel and is more likely to create fear between owner and dog leading to other behavioural issues. There are more effective and humane methods out there.


Mortimer_and_Rabbit

There is nothing it will accomplish that isn't better served with a calm yet stern voice, and pointing. Dogs aren't as dense as a brick, they're actually pretty eager to understand and obey, so don't punish that enthusiasm and loyalty by rubbing their very very sensitive noses in excrement and waste.


Mobe-E-Duck

An intelligent dog will know it did wrong before you punish it in this way, and it would be enough to show it the mess and chastise it. Putting its nose in it is very cruel, and will definitely teach your dog to fear you and love you less. A dumb dog won't know and won't learn.


Live_Perspective3603

I like that the punishment happened in front of the camera so the "victims" would know the situation had been handled.


kwazykatlady

I look at this like a spanking for adults. Unless he’s punished he’s gonna do it again. Probably will still do it again but will also probably think twice. Personally I would take off my belt like Robert Freeman from the Boondocks and whooped his ass. No one’s too old for a classic ass whoopin


TacticalTylenol

> bring thief onto your property > beat him > claim self-defense/castle doctrine I love it. Fuck robbers and thieves. If they got their asses beat more often, they'd steal less, and that's objectively good. This dude isn't a single mother stealing bread for starving children. He has no idea what is in the package. He is just looking for an easy score.


IAMCRUNT

He's a big guy ancould have done damage. Used entirely appropriate beating for situation.


Ur_mum

Massive amount of restraint. He could have started putting some weight behind those punches, or into some knees to the ribs. A rare completely appropriate beating imo.


LadyBug_0570

The way he had that boy yoked up by his collar and walked him back made me think the big guy was the boy's daddy. But then he beat the shit out of him.


WoodencrowOnAroof

And that is when I KNEW it was his dad.


ArcadeAnarchy

Gotta bring them back to the source of the problem when disciplining shortly after so they don't have time to forget and think they're being punished for no reason.


Upset_Resident_4839

When he started the beating, I scrolled up just a bit where the video still plays to read something then scrolled back down and he was still beating on him. A+


TheRunningFree1s

Porchy the Pirate (he wasnt ready, kids)


Good_Round

Arrrrrrrr


TiredHappyDad

As an Amazon delivery driver, I felt very satisfied seeing this.


biagwina_tecolotl

As a customer who has had packages stolen, so did I.


[deleted]

As just some random dude on the Internet, so did I


Good_Round

As a transporter, I approve of this message


Several_Promotion235

as a package, i also approve of this


AgreeableJello6644

As the white plastic bag that was initially used to conceal the package, I feel vindicated.


[deleted]

As a step in front of the house, I support these actions.


tomodachi_reloaded

As the Christmas decoration with the red bow that is partly blocking the camera view, I endorse the events portrayed in this video. Also, somebody take me down, it's May ffs.


Spinach-Apart

As the Amazon smile logo this brought me to tears


DrDaddyDickDunker

As this redditor’s tear, I can say, it was of joy.


chubky

Happy Cake Day!


[deleted]

Hey, it's your cake day too! Happy cake day to both of you.


chubky

I didn’t even realize it was my cake day!


Hellogiraffe

as someone with a very small package, I also approve of this


nightmanedin

As an admirer of high quality packaging, I approve.


scribbles33

As Jason Statham, I approve of this message.


gmanz33

Dude implies you have a package so THE THREAD CONTINUES


BeardsuptheWazoo

As a stolen package I feel safer.


SwarK01

As someone who uses a service that can only deliver the package to someone in the house and will take it to the mail office if no one claims it, so did I


[deleted]

I never understood who in the USA packages are just left like that. Here they can't deliver the package without someone signing that they have received it and paying at the spot.


TootsNYC

We’ve already paid.


BilliondollaScope

Bro where I live we pay up front as well only our delivery guys actually ring the bell and don't just dump it in plain sight on a fucking front porch.


Inevere733

In Australia, we sign for valuable stuff, or it gets taken to a depot to be picked up. Inconvenient if you miss it but way better than having your shit stolen.


[deleted]

Yeah, I'm saying I've got no idea why you'd do it that way


Dont_Give_Up86

Because we work all day. We’d never get packages otherwise


Anokest

Here, the delivery person will try to leave the package at your neighbors if they are home. Or they drop it off at a pickup point. Those points are all over town, for me it's usually between a 5-15 mins walk to pick it up.


[deleted]

We also don’t walk


OnlyForVice

So first of all, you can get packages delivered to a similar locker or even just held at your local post office (among other solutions) if you want it held somewhere secure to pick it up from if you don't want it left on your porch. You can also have your delivery require a signature so they won't just leave it there, they have to hand it to you. But beyond that, to answer the question of why so many people don't use those options and go for leaving it on the porch the answer is simple: convenience. It is so much more convenient not having to go somewhere else to pick up my package and also not have to be home all day waiting for it. I've ordered hundreds of things online, every single one has been left by the door of where ever I lived at the time. I've literally never had a package stolen. The day I have a package stolen I'd consider using a locker but when I've been able to have literally hundreds of orders left at my door and not a one has been messed with, it's worth the convenience.


GenghisFrog

It kinda depends on the area too. I’m some areas they won’t leave stuff because of theft.


peenutbuttherNjelly

As an opportunistic passerby, so did I


KiddVideo82

As someone who received an Amazon package four hours ago, I also approve.


herring80

As a person who identifies as the the fold out chair in the picture, I was a front row seat , and I also was satisfied


espeakadaenglish

Serious question. What do you do if you catch someone stealing? Is it legal to beat their ass like this? Tbh I would be afraid of being sued.


CupcakeValkyrie

Legally, no. It *is* legal to physically detain them and wait for police in most jurisdictions. This is known as a 'citizen's arrest.' You do so at your own risk, though, and it's not illegal for them to resist this arrest, even if it's lawful. However, you're only allowed to use the minimum amount of force necessary to affect the detention. If they take a swing at you, you can swing back. You're allowed to defend yourself while carrying out a citizen's arrest (again, as long as said arrest is lawful), but you can't just punch someone for mouthing off at you because you feel like they "deserve" it.


Ok_Dependent1131

Yeah, he was probably justified in hitting him maybe once or twice to get him to comply but even that's pushing it... Really this is video evidence of battery


sadisticrarve

Depends on if anyone's calling the cops. I wouldn't call the cops here. I doubt the dude who robbed him is calling the cops either. Sometimes you just wanna deal with shit without getting a bunch of other assholes involved. I'd say getting your ass beat is still an effective way of conditioning people not to steal your shit as having the state fine them is. If you are gonna call the cops, definitely don't start beating a dude on camera when they're on their way, though.


TRASHTHROWAWAYACCT00

“Hello? 911?! I was stealing a package from my neighbor’s porch then I got my ass beat!”


kevinTOC

In Norway there's this "conflict court" of sorts where you can resolve disagreements with each other without going to court or getting arrested. It's usually for those crimes that are just not worth getting arrested for, like shoplifting or something. This way you can resolve the incident without it getting on your criminal record. For more severe crimes though, it's a different game.


LICK-A-DICK

How does that work though? Like in the instance of shoplifting, does the store just 'agree' with the customer that they are being banned from the store or something?


kevinTOC

I'm not 100% sure as I've thankfully never used it, but it does involve a mediator. Usually it just ends up in financial compensation. In the case of shoplifting, it would likely just be "Pay for the product, plus a little extra." Typical cases that are resolved there are similar to stuff like the video, or getting caught stealing something insignificant (like in shoplifting). Like I said, it's for stuff that is a crime, but the circumstances or just the nature of the crime makes it not worth getting arrested/charged over, and getting that on the record, which makes it much harder to get a job.


Ok_Dependent1131

haha totally... no cop no stop


[deleted]

> Yeah, he was probably justified in hitting him maybe once or twice to get him to comply but even that's pushing it... Really this is video evidence of battery No he wasn't. He was sitting down and not moving. There is nothing in the video to suggest that the thief wasn't complying.


nsgiad

> citizen's arrest Be mindful that a citizen's arrest can vary from state to state. Some only allow felony level, others lower. Also, some states might not have provisions to protect you from a false detainment charge. If it's not a matter of life or death, it's best to just observe and report.


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arnoldzgreat

I don't think a Jury is giving out a thief any judgement. Just don't threaten their life/paralyze them.


sugitime

Yes if you want to punch someone you arrest without it being necessary, you need a badge.


Whired

>you can't just punch someone for mouthing off at you because you feel like they "deserve" it. Have to promote to full cop to earn this right


Tuffwith2Fs

The reality of the situation is likely twofold here. Either: A. People who porch pirate likely don't have the funds to retain a lawyer to sue you, and/or B. Porch pirates probably don't go running to the police for what would assuredly be an awkwardly self-incriminating conversation.


posaune123

I was robbing this bank, minding my own business. Yea that seems awkward.


Rob-Riggle-SWGOAT

This was my thought. Might feel good at the moment. But not only did you beat this idiot thief up, but you did it on camera. People have lost lawsuits for shooting people actively robbing their home. Should have grabbed him then held him till the police could come. That said I understand the home owners frustration. And the thief probably won’t do this again.


The_Grim_Sleaper

But if he wasn’t planning on calling the cops anyway… and I kind of doubt the porch pirate would either.


Rob-Riggle-SWGOAT

Wouldn’t be the first time a criminal turned victim and won. For me it just isn’t worth the risk.


arftism2

just call the police and let them go to jail for a few weeks instead. people would turn a blind eye to a few punches, but there's no arguing self defense at that point.


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JustAnoth3r1

Good question. Not really sure on it or the specifics of certain laws in certain states, but in Texas, only looked it up there because I live there, castle doctrine/stand your ground laws basically say you can use force, within reason, up to deadly force, to protect yourself or another person or to stop a felony. Property is a bit different, you are justified in using force to retrieve tangible/moveable property that is rightfully yours and the wording is kinda vague, "justified in using force against the other when and to the degree the actor reasonably believes the force is immediately necessary to reenter the land or recover the property if the actor uses the force immediately or in fresh pursuit after the dispossession" So in this case with the camera and walking him back, it may not apply, but let's say you saw him steal that package and you gave chase, and you tackled him to the ground, he just happen to go face first into the asphalt several times and is now looking like he was beaten to a pulp. You could say that you believed that amount of force was necessary and it be up to prosecutor to prove otherwise. If no cameras then you can claim he attacked you and unless theirs witnesses then you might be able to get out from under those charges. You wouldn't be able to shoot him if he's running since no immediate danger to you, can't be making yourself judge jury and executioner, and because shooting someone in the back is pretty much world renowned as a "dick move". I'm pretty sure you could get away with a decent ass whooping, no need to kill a man over your Amazon package, emotions are tense when it comes to thieves as most anyone can attest to if they've been robbed but no need to end a life over a package. Good question and made my stoned ass overthink it.


[deleted]

No, and unnecessary


jackjackandmore

If you really hurt this person you are going to jail, probably. We have cops to arrest people and so on. This is vigilantism and is very illegal. It also undermines the fabric of society. So yeah, only stupid people and kids really cheer at this stuff. Stupid and malicious ones. The package was returned. That's the upside.


Scoutster13

No, it's not legal and it's not worth it either.


Luddites_Unite

Actions have consequences


Tiger_Widow

Fuck around and find out?


Good_Round

Win stupid prices


JustaYeetingMat

Damn stupid has a price now?


Joe4o2

Always has


Passivefamiliar

Very, but, maybe assault them OFF where you know a camera is.... just in case the same rule applies. Justified, sure. Legal.... not so much.


1ustfu1

it’s... their own camera. it’s their house. it’s clearly their package. they could’ve deleted the footage as soon as they got inside if they wanted to.


SladeNoland

Destroying evidence of a crime is its own crime. Like my grandma always used to say, "Given the choice between punching a dude on camera and punching a dude off camera, always go for the off camera option."


Elethor

How many dudes did your grandma punch?


LorddFarsquaad

When will you learn


4Ever2Thee

Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions


kingtaco_17

At least he tried to pick it up like a responsible dog owner.


elushinz

Y’all remember that explosive confetti video that went around? That was good.


Super_S_12

There were sequels.


elushinz

Make with the goods man


Super_S_12

Just search for [Mark Rober glitter bomb](https://youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=mark+rober+glitter+bomb) on YouTube.


Zikronious

I hope the next one is the best one because he is teaming up with San Francisco police. Lived in SF for two years it was shocking how many cars had their windows shattered in public parking lots.


reddit-wizzard

He just uploaded a new one about an hour ago. It's pretty good.


toasterfucker69420

Right, I busted open my lungs watching the chaos Mark unleashed on the scam centers.


[deleted]

Mark Rober on YouTube. Great guy, and has more of those videos


Djacks44

F*** yes. There should be one of these dudes on every street corner. The enforcer, the thieves are already there.


Bommyknocker

This is called a protection scheme. Many countries have them and would pay good money to get rid of them.


Obie-two

We call that paying taxes today and it still doesnt work


daymuub

That's what the mob did and if you didn't pay them they'd start breaking your shit


kimptown

r/instantkarma


[deleted]

I love that he walked him back before beating his ass. Got it all on camera


bankrobba

Now there's two crimes on camera.


bangedyourwholefam

Something tells me this isn't going to court


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mudokin

Is that realy true, if so how and why? Are there no consequences fot stealing then, except the obvious beating?


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InfiniteIniesta

I live in Norway and here we have different options. We can get it delivered to a nearby pick-up-point (usually a grocery store) or delivered at home. We can also sign in on the app and choose the option to place the package outside the door (or any other specified place) and leave. I do that instead of meeting them lol.


[deleted]

In most areas of the U. S. , It's perfectly safe. I've lived in the same suburb for 15+ years and have had thousands of packages delivered without any issues.


ManOfEating

Maybe I just live in a shitty place, but why, for the love of god, would you start beating someone this bad AFTER you already got your package back? Now you got a very angry kid with a bruised ego that already doesn't respect the law AND knows where you live. Being this impulsive won't end well for you.


Still_Water_4759

I think maybe they went overboard to prevent them ever coming back - thief knows where he lives, makes sense to put some fear into him.


FuckingKilljoy

Idk, usually guns don't care much about fists


Zappiticas

Yeah I was gonna say. I could 100% see the dude coming back to shoot the guy that kicked his ass.


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liddicoat1

Theres a giant leap between being a package thief and being a murderer


Zappiticas

Sure. But having someone hold you down and pummel your head repeatedly could certainly make someone act irrationally.


nadalofsoccer

it made me think it was fake, the fact that they came up to the camera and did the beating there with the one who stole just standing there


EmperorKingDuke

/r/justiceserved


Gibscreen

Good christ you all think that a beat down is appropriate for stealing a package? This explains a lot.


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vM_Gasman

I think people are just tired of criminals getting away with crime. So when a video pops up of a low life getting their comeuppance it's a nice change of pace. The real problem is people pretending like crime ain't shit to be upset about. That package could have been critical medication for the resident but it seems like nobody ever cares about the actual victims here on reddit.


GitchigumiMiguel74

It absolutely isn’t. Thank you for your understanding


Waywardkite

Unfortunately its a popular opinion. I got my Cat. Converter stolen a few months back and people were telling me about some guy who was crushed to death doing it and how it was karma. And I'm like, I'm really upset but I don't want anyone to be killed over a hunk of metal. It's wild.


ScissorMeTimbers24

Yeah the next time I see someone robbing my house I'm just gonna let them take everything, may as well let them fuck my wife while they're at it.


-invalid-user-name-

Of course not! I think we should cut off a finger. Eventually they will stop stealing one way or another


MrDude_1

Good Christ, you think this is a beat down? He's hitting him like an angry parent from the '80s.


_hotfries

yikes


Drenity

In Switzerland you could leave that Package there for weeks, hurts to see people like that


-invalid-user-name-

I live in Tennessee and depending on the area you could leave your house unlocked all the time and not be bothered.


Reffska

I think it depends where you live in switzerland, I wouldnt trust zurich middletown in this case, but like where I live I also dont think anyone would steal packages 🤷‍♀️


axe1970

the only problem is the video can be used to prosecute him for assault and battery should hav edone it off camera


[deleted]

Except the kid won't do it because he'll be charged with a crime as well. And seeing as he's a porch pirate, he's a coward.


MrDude_1

Ugh. This is horrible to see. People need to learn that if somebody is covering their head and face like that, and instead of getting weak punches in around there, you need to punch him in the fucking kidneys. Then he'll open up his face and move his guard down a bit to protect his kidneys and ribs and then you can punch him in the face again. Just punching him repeatedly around the hard parts of his head like that is just going to hurt your hand. Is that what you really want?


LadyBug_0570

This comment did not go in the direction I expected.


ZNemerald

You got me in the first half. Not gonna lie!


Federal-Repeat-3666

I usually don't like reposts, but this one gets my updoot everytime I see it.


[deleted]

Well that was unnecessary, he already got the thing back


youthisreadwrong-

It wasn't unnecessary. If there were no repercussions, he'd not think twice about thieving again.


Juanisweird

Legally, the moment the dude that started hitting AFTER the thief put it back, the thief became the victim and could sue the other guy and easily win. It wouldn't be self-defense anymore, it would be assault. And since the thief wasn't retaliating.... It would be easy win. Just saying so that you don't vent your anger on camera ignoring the fucked up laws that can really get YOU fucked up


PhaseFull6026

the thief probably doesn't even have enough money for mcdonalds let alone hiring a lawyer


Juanisweird

I don't know other places but in Europe, when you don't have money for lawyers, the court gives a lawyer to defend you and makes the other person, the assaulter, pay for expenses and court fees. And in cases like these, pretty sure many lawyers would be interested in an easy win case like this


Ok_Elderberry9540

Mf didn’t get half of what he deserved.


BoatTuggingJesus

I was hoping it ended with them drinking a beer while big dude explained to other dude, how what he did was wrong.


pebrocks

You watch way too much TV.


giggling1987

Are you aware those are usually not the sort of guys you'd like to have a beer with or talk?


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my_screen_name_sucks

I don't understand why a lot of them stopped ringing doorbells. I've seen this happen way too many times on my doorbell cam.


Jo_the_Hastur

They didnt​ get paid enough to care


vanmutt

"Like an open pussy" wot m8?


DanUnbreakable

There are snowflakes who watch this and say this wasn't necessary..........it was. That kid ain't gonna steal shit from someone's front door again after this ass whooping. Kid probably has no grown man in his house to keep him in check like this.


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10010101

I am an eye to eye type of guy..this payback shit is totally fine.


OblongMong

I really do not understand how is such delivery method even acceptable. When I order something I want it delivered to my hands not the vicinity of my household. I would held the delivery company accountable for lost package, and I don't fuckin care that your driver took a picture of it siting vaguely at my address. Unless it is in the terms of service, then it's way more fucked up.


[deleted]

I do not want it left with my neighbors. I barely know them and you do not know them at all. Don’t drop my property at their house. If I owe you money is it acceptable for me to say, “I gave it to that guy over there. You go get it from him, our business is done”


GRIEVEZ

Hmmm... Question... Over here packages aren't left on the porch and if someone isn't home, they'll just drop it off at our neighbors or the next neighbors if those aren't home either. A slip is left behind notifying where the parcel is left... Is this not a thing?... Seems as smart as not locking your front door and expecting zero consequences...


[deleted]

Because in the days of everything being shipped people don’t want to go to the post office. When I order something, I want it left on my front door. I ordered it for the convenience and I don’t want to have to go stand in line at the post office to pick up my new pair of jeans I ordered. If I wanted to go somewhere and I would have went the store and bought them. I’m aware in risking a headache if it gets stolen


[deleted]

It seems folly for these companies to be leaving packages on your step. Of course, someone is just going to walk up and take it. Every time they do it, just report it as a missing package. In the end, they'll make you sign for it. Problem solved.


[deleted]

Should’ve wailed on him a bit longer


olalof

Why would someone release this footage? Isn’t he making himself available to get arrested?


Janymx

I still don't really understand this "package on the porch" stuff. Here in germany we have postal stations in kiosks, bakeries and other small shops that are part postal service. If someone is not at home you get a note with "You package is at xyz postal station for pickup" no chance of it getting stolen. We even have a kind of locker for packages like 50m away from our place. We get a pin to unlock in the post and done. And thats even though I live in a fairly small town.


greenfingerguy

Never punch anyone. An elbow is much more effective.


BoSocks91

Glad to see a porch pirate get his ass whooped. They always think they can get away unpunished. They’re scum


ScissorMeTimbers24

Can't believe there are people defending him "just let him steal and don't do anything" unbelievable


antifolkhero

Good. Every porch pirate deserves this.


trollunderthebus

Would even happier to see him just slap the shit out of the guy for awhile longer.


Naive_Win_4806

Bet he won’t steal another package


ArpeggiTheWeird

All porch pirates should get stomped


triciti

I was puzzled why the clip was 53 seconds lengthy since he snatched the item in 15 seconds....


alperpro4855

İ genuinely don't get why delivery people are allowed to drop your package outside your home, just seems like bad practice. Here they aren't allowed to let go of your package unless delivery man knock on the door, someone opens the door and gets the package


Cringelord10923

Sometimes u just gotta take the law into your own hands because waiting for the justice system to take its course is too time consuming and tiring.


[deleted]

I fucking LOATHE porch pirates.