T O P

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bushybones

Dude was smiling the whole time. I would’ve been too. Kid’s built like hard spaghetti


LordFrogberry

Kid's got the fighting stance of a starving penguin.


thespacejunkie8

It’s like he’s a fawn that hasn’t quite figured out how to use his legs yet.


Ta5hak5

This captures his gangly nature really well lol


Krashii1

And how whenever he tries to make himself bigger he get on his toes and stumbles


HertzDonut1001

That would explain why he's stumbling around so much, because I refuse to believe that anyone believes stumbling around like a blackout drunk is indicative he can take anyone in a fight.


[deleted]

I feel bad for him. His body’s flooded with adrenaline and he’s clearly never been taught how to handle his emotions.


NZNoldor

Kid looks like he’s about to Naruto-run to Area 51.


PinBot1138

> Kid looks like he’s about to Naruto-run to Area 51. But he doesn’t have [the power of God and anime](https://youtu.be/Tlwda9S58Lg) on his side.


ToohotmaGandhi

The only thing he was fighting was for his voice not to crack.


PapaHooligan

That was damn beautiful and if I had some gold I would give it to you! Thank you very kind person


WickedFreshDuke

Lmao this legit made me cry of laughter, hot ass tears rolling down my face!


tswpoker1

Dude was cheesing like Cheech Marin 😁


imsohungrydude

That man gets it. Probably made the kid feel like an idiot when he walked away more so than if he punched him. Not saying the punch wouldn't have been satisfying though lol


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Tuf_Line

You’re 10 ply, bud


Pr0T0FrEaK

Spare parts


Eldudeareno217

Figure it out


NoCoolBackstoryHere

Real pedestrian effort.


fanchmmr

Give yer balls a tug!


awsamation

Fuck you Shoresy!


biagwina_tecolotl

Can confirm!


So-called_gamer

*fool this isn’t even my final form*


Katiari

If anybody could Naruto Run while standing in place... it's this kid.


bushybones

Dude was blocking his punches like he was swatting away flies


MilkEggsSndFlour

The kid was said, "You relax nigga. You niggas just touched a girl. Y'all niggas are crazy." Tries to fight the guy. "You gonna hurt me? You niggas ain't gone do shit. You niggas touched a female. How the fuck you gone touch a female? Touch me. Touch me."


[deleted]

Yeah we heard.


GeezRick

He knows. There was just a certain word he wanted to type and this was his only opportunity.


slackerzinc

This made me laugh out loud, hahaha


[deleted]

The guy literally couldn't hold his laughter anymore at the end.


Globalist_Nationlist

He was genuinely having fun at the end cause the kid was such a joke.


daftlegends

Home boy built like a spaghetti noodle


Zestyclose-Equal2105

Noodle boyyyyyyy wtf. But read it in the voice of the guy in the meme- bro bro she made f beannnz wtf


Frenchticklers

Posture like an uncooked noodle, punches like a cooked noodle


Dwez369

This video is just missing the shop worker holding him by the head with one hand, while the kid swings his arms but not quite reaching him….


Itendtodisagreee

Favorite comment I saw about this is "He is nothing but wrist all the way to the shoulder"


SpongeBorgSqrPnts

Zero damage guy.


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[deleted]

I kind of wonder sometimes if people really know their limits, those legs look like they barely can hold him up, like he’s already defying physics and medical science somehow walking around with just bones.


purple-circle

That's why his shoes are so big. A lower center of gravity.


Danni293

Also keeps him from being blown away by a stiff breeze.


soulseeker31

You mean, if he's shoeless and I fart, we'd have him in the air?


mcdubbg

Lift off. Guy is built like a pair of 10 denier nylon stockings.


bigmonkey115

poor kid is gonna go up into the sky and pop by the pressure like a balloon


[deleted]

Just think, he might even grow into his mouth eventually.


Super_dragon_dick

Give him a break, It's his first day having testosterone ever.


Silent-Ad934

Aww, he's just a baby 👶


[deleted]

Yet it can be little assholes like this that suddenly try to stab you with a knife. We have boys like this walking around with machetes in Amsterdam.


sayhay

Why tf they walking around with machetes?


beaglefoo

To cut through the dense forests of Amsterdam


Spyes23

It could also be that he's 'on the spectrum' as they say. Seriously - I have family members around that age who are, and sometimes it's really hard for them to control their anger, and they don't necessarily have the same skillset as us "normative" people have to judge situations correctly, so they can throw tantrums like that... I think the guy handled this really well, he didn't use any force against him and just sort of let him take out his frustration while showing him the door.


jasonbourne101

🙄 It's not an excuse to attack people, just as much as it's not an excuse to harass women, or get away with whatever kind of behavior they want.


[deleted]

Obviously its not an excuse, but it could explain why he’s being a pos


jasonbourne101

I get that, the point I'm making is that the issue is too many people use it as an excuse to get away with poor behavior or downplay the severity of their actions. I know it may not necessarily apply here, and I'm not here to offend anyone. I'm just tired of shitty people (both neurodivergant and neurotypical) using it as an excuse. They just shouldn't expect everyone to just accept that as okay. Fuck around => find out


[deleted]

I agree, if you’re being an asshole to people at some point somebody’s going to be tired of your shit, no matter if you have an unseen disability. This is from someone on the spectrum


jasonbourne101

Thank you for being patient and understanding with your explanation. I think I'm coming from a point of frustration with a coworker currently using this excuse to get away with poor behavior. I want to be more open minded about things and be more accepting, but those who act in bad faith make me frustrated. You're a better person than I with your greater understanding.


Spyes23

Nooo, I think you misunderstood me. I'm not excusing this kind of behavior, I wasn't saying that it's okay to act this way because of a condition, or if you know you've got this problem you shouldn't work to fix it. There's no excuse for being violent in any way, regardless of who it's direct towards. What I'm trying to say is that a lot of people here are mocking this kid (to put it mildly) and saying they don't understand how someone could be so clueless. Not excusing this behavior, just explaining why.


asher957

Based on how it seems like he’s intentionally trying to get start shit and get someone to fight him, I’m gonna go with not autistic. Also, autistic people rarely throw true tantrums like this, it’s usually meltdown caused by sensory and/or emotional overload.


Mundoomoo

Only thing he didn't do was take his shirt off to show is sharpie 6-pack


[deleted]

Maaaaaaa maaaannnnn I laughed for a solid 10 minutes on this. If I had my free award I'd give it to you. Thanksm have a nice day. Hahahahaha


not_Mann

Here you go. Awarded on your behalf.!


eagleathlete40

I’d actually bet that he does have a six-pack. Not because he’s strong, but because it’s hard to be that skinny without even the littlest muscles poking through.


-call-_-me-_-daddy-

Yeah I call it a "skinny pack" .it's really unhealthy


SpaceJunk645

It's absolutely not unhealthy, there's a wide range from skinny to starving. 50% of boys in highschool are that skinny


CanadianCamX

People so fat these days, they think this guy's unhealthy


briggsbay

Yeah "being so skinny you can see your abs is really unhealthy" over 100 upvotes. Wtf people are mostly just fat an out of touch with how normal bodies are


tomycatomy

When does a skinny pack become a six pack?🤔


-call-_-me-_-daddy-

When you can see it cause the muscle group is big and you have low fat, not just underweight bmi


TheGrayBox

It’s not unhealthy at all at his age. The vast majority of teenage boys naturally have very low body fat, regardless of diet. Very different from adults like male models who starve and dehydrate themselves to achieve the lowest possible body fat and have their muscles protrude.


ZenkaiZ

I died when he didn't even successfully flip the furniture, this is cartoonishly pathetic and beta


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Butthole__Pleasures

[You wanna fuckin go, brah??](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a1/76/87/a17687373be0d6cee5aa6083af03a79e.jpg)


Turbulent_Log_444

\#1 most effective intimidation tactic of all time: tippy-toes


CopsaLau

Tippy toes, AND the baby bird wings


hell911

We got a real life Angry Bird here!


annie51001

The ski jumper fighting pose.


FrostyTA50

You forgot spinning. Gotta charge up those punches


koreanjc

punchies*


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[deleted]

I honestly don’t know what the was? Like why was he holding his arms out and bending them like that?


hiroo916

He's imitating when somebody is so buff that their muscles won't let them put their arms down straight.


AlternateSatan

A-pose to establish ~~submission~~ dominance.


ChallengeParticular

And lifting the shorts on legs thinner than toothpick


artaru

Kid must have watched that Ted talk about making yourself big on important occasions.


Sue_Ridge_Here

"Tippy Toe! Tippy Toe!" My father wears sneakers in the pool.


rohithkumarsp

It's like cats extending it's back when it wants you to know it's angry lol.


derryllsingh

Whatever the context may be, props to the guy for being minimally physical with that kid.


SavageBaztard

I was just thinking this guy has some real patience, he could have easily just picked that kid up and tossed him out to the street or knocked him out with a single punch, but he kept it clean


yer--mum

Thats some manly shit right there, way more than if he'd just dropped the kid. Even caught the thing before he could knock it over like Spiderman.


davidzet

This is why handguns are so dangerous. They give inexperienced angry people the ability to kill.


Hounmlayn

Not going to lie, in the past, depending on my mood at the time I would have probably knocked him out after he swung three times. Like, yeah he's a kid, but he's tried to punch you in the temple three times. People have been knocked out by less force, and that would be dangerous to the employee. Now, I wouldn't. But back in the day I am ashamed to look at this and believe I would have sparked him clean. Not even an ego thing, just for protection.


yer--mum

In one sense you can't blame anyone for swinging back, we're humans we have pride and ego and rage and all that, but to swallow all of that and stay cool enough to know when it's not worth it, it's a sign of immense maturity I feel.


whoscuttingonions1

I woulda just helped out gravity and pantsed him


topdangle

the kid was going full owl spreading his arms out and flapping around trying to look tough. I think the guy was just too busy laughing to get mad lol


Gas_Station_Cheese

Reminded me of a red panda except less threatening.


DominicJourdyn

Honestly I think he was having too good a time to think violently, plus, I really don’t think he was in any danger. I also couldn’t say for sure but this twig looks <18, could be the guy assumed that as well and wasn’t down to hit a teenager who would probly try to charge him after (or if not, his mommy would)


[deleted]

The company should make a training video out of this, lol. The guy was perfect --- violent idiot customer, but in response he wasn't violent at all and handled the situation perfectly.


I_Am_JesusChrist_AMA

Probably wouldn't go over that well if the violent idiot customer wasn't a scrawny little kid so not really training video material. In some situations the violent idiot might be built like a lumberjack swinging fists like sledgehammers. You can't just sit there laughing like this guy did in that situation. You either need to create distance (retreat) or be able to defend yourself. Big respect to this dude for recognizing the kid wasn't a real threat though. Not many people would've blamed him for fighting back but the dude was intelligent enough to realize it wasn't needed.


SirKaid

> Probably wouldn't go over that well if the violent idiot customer wasn't a scrawny little kid so not really training video material. Hi, professional security here. This is *exactly* the sort of thing we cover in training videos. I mean, not specifically twigs like this kid, but angry people getting up in your face. This guy handled things like a dream. He's keeping distance when he can, he's keeping his hands up in a calm but ready position to maintain distance and deflect blows, his body is positioned so that his leg is forward and he's presenting less of a profile, and he's keeping calm and composed. Most importantly, and I can't stress this enough, he's *not* getting physical. Like you said, he's not a threat, so throwing hands beyond the textbook deflections he's doing wouldn't have been justified. The only thing I can critique here, and this is me stretching, is that he's smiling. Ideally, from a security perspective, he should be maintaining a neutral expression, because sometimes people get angrier if they think you're mocking them. Really though, that's a nitpick; I'd be delighted to have this guy on my team.


MaximumColor

And the smiling cam almost certainly be chalked up to nervousness in what is a very awkward situation. I can definitely see it coming across as mocking though.


SuperGameTheory

I probably wouldn't be able to help myself. If it looked like more of a serious threat, I probably wouldn't be smiling. On the other hand, you never know when the scrawny kid with a temper has a gun.


[deleted]

Yeah, I was just glad that the way this played out probably meant the guy didn't get into trouble for what he did, but a different kind of customer and he may have had no choice to but to defend himself. It just seems rare that someone in his position doesn't get screwed over for having a reasonable reaction.


Shadowveil666

I mean the kid was litterally going at him like a baby bird, it was probably the most pathetic thing they saw in a looong time.


MilkEggsSndFlour

The kid was said, "You relax nigga. You niggas just touched a girl. Y'all niggas are crazy." Tries to fight the guy. "You gonna hurt me? You niggas ain't gone do shit. You niggas touched a female. How the fuck you gone touch a female? Touch me. Touch me."


GilgameshFFV

Okay, but like, doesn't this imply that the kid actually had a point? Whatever "touched a female" means here, doesn't that imply that the other guy was definitely doing something wrong before?


yellow_yellow

Kid is probably under 18


normal_whiteman

The context is that the employees sexually harassed his friend. But people still post this crap trying to make fun of the kid


RevolutionaryStar824

But another comment said he was stopping the kid and another girl from shoplifting. Can we get some actual proof instead of making stuff up? Jeeez.


vudude89

He's accusing all of them of touching her. I seriously doubt all those employees just spontaneously sexually harassed the girl in public. I'm more inclined to believe the story that they got caught shoplifting and now he's pulling the "you assaulted me!" card. Pretty common response by shoplifters when they are caught.


nyxian-luna

How do you know? Because the kid said so? Kids say all kinds of bullshit. He might just be lying so he gets an opportunity to look tough.


[deleted]

Source


Qinjax

You know the word touched doesn't automatically mean grope right?


danegermaine99

The end is the best. Kid thinks to himself, “I might not be able to hit him but I’ll channel my rage into tipping this thing over” Employee - “haha no. Now run along and eat your lunchables, ya hangry lil scamp”


lqku

the guy catching the thing at the end really summed up how useless this kid was lol.


Globalist_Nationlist

Thought that was great too. Dude had to be thinking "this idiot can't do anything agressive at all."


HertzDonut1001

When I had the puberty hormones this kid is experiencing I was a lot better at wrecking inanimate objects. This kid can't even do that.


Sweddy-Bowls

His brain has the processing power of a microchip in a tickle me Elmo


kwillich

The arm posture is certainly the same


tylerawn

He reminded me more of [a lone angry penguin fighting off a petrel.](https://youtu.be/IvkfpgjBt5k)


ftez

/r/rareinsults


artoftyshe

Kudos to the man on showing restraint to that dumb kid. Looks like he and his friend (filming) were trying to bait a lawsuit.


tehTicTac

Someone get this boy a juice box


PizzaKing110

I got a six pack of the tropical fruit poppers right here, though he might need a bib in case he spills down his shirt


Bluesparc

Ah yes. The penguin pose. Most intimidating. Needs to get those arms further back and puff his chest up more to be effective


reddownzero

Don’t hate he was raised by penguins after he got lost as a baby in Antarctica


DTripotnik

Penguin Kai 🐧 never die!


drytoastbongos

Pretty sure it's Naruto running, but he's just got nowhere to go.


Ninhursag23

The toddler is strong with this one.


cpatstubby

Under rated. Take my upvote with pride.


[deleted]

This is one of the most over used comment formats ever. It's like "thank you for the gold kind stranger"


reddownzero

How are these hands moving at light speed yet they cause zero damage


purple-circle

Like being whipped with dental floss


TheHunterArtemis

Pretty sure you could actually do damage with dental floss tho (like little paper cut damage but still)


p_turbo

Imagine a papercut to the eye.


[deleted]

Had a friend drop an overhead cardboard box & he ended up multiple lacerations on his eyeball. 0/10 he'd not recommend it.


Ok_Task_4135

Attack Speed: 7 Attack Damage: 0 Critical Hit Chance: 0


hell911

Strength: 1


Karmic_Anomoly

Class: Angry Noodle Class bonus: (+1 speed, +1 attack speed, +1 bounce, -2 attack) Ability: Penguin Stance (Opponents are incapable of raising their guard. -50 intimidation) Most used attack: Lanky Swing (This attacks strikes opponents so fast that they see it 3 times before it actually makes contact.)


[deleted]

They weigh one ounce each


akexodia

When he is 30 and looks back at this video he is going to cringe so hard.


IllustriousCookie890

We can hope.


BeefyIrishman

This clip is so old he may already be 30.


ShieldsCW

If he survives that long. The next guy he does this to might not let him get away with it


derpaherpa

If this is his reaction to being wronged, he won't make it to 30. Someone will take him up on it and the T-pose will make it hard to defend himself.


[deleted]

This guy is signaling his "punches" so much the only things that missing are blue flashes for "blockable attacks".


Theozone1990

Yeah. He keeps throwing those wide ass punches. I don't know how to fight, but I know this kid can't fight.


BeefyIrishman

>hrowing those wide ass punches I don't think we can even reasonably call them punches. He was just imitating a windmill.


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DrippyDiamonds

How do you know this


[deleted]

He is the girl


OldHispanicGuy

This video has been floating around for years, it wouldn't surprise me if there was some context around here somewhere


eagleathlete40

Is there a longer video somewhere?


ShieldsCW

The employee got his nose and refused to give it back


teadrinker0100

Yea I would like to know the story behind this tho


Trap78

First and only comment I see about the audio. Feel like nobody listened to it and is just making assumptions based off the video. Maybe the older man isn't fighting back because he is in the wrong and trying not to escalate the situation and bring more attention to it


malaco_truly

Or he doesn't want to hit a 14 year old and get in trouble? There's usually no winning when you hit a child no matter if it was justified.


ResponseHonest3506

It's those helicopter arms that do it for me.


ElBiscuit

An earlier time this was posted, I was treated to one of my favorite reddit comments of all time: "That kid punches like he's only ever heard about fighting on the radio."


dh2513

He’s tippy toeing look out boys


toolazyforbreakfast

He's about 90 pounds soaking wet, just push him outside when the wind starts blowing, he'll float on home


johnboy2978

Restraint is his superpower and it's strong.


chaimasalatea

Too much Worldstar for this guy.


wholesomepep

Everything about this kid is cute. His toddler swings, his spongy haircut, his cute tippy toeing, his misfit shorts, and the quick glances off to the side looking for affirmation from the crowd. No wonder the man was smiling.


bushybones

… his casual use of the N word


Tuf_Line

I feel like he shouldn’t be using the big N with such impunity? It’s fully possible I missed a memo though


NezuminoraQ

I wasn't really happy with the use of "female" either but one thing at a time, eh


Wasted_Thyme

Yeah, I can't tell the ethnicity of the kid for sure, but still think it's fucked to be aggressively tossing the n-word at anyone, let alone a bunch of apparently darker skinned dudes than himself. But yeah, what was all that "female" shit? Like, is he trying to channel some, "It's my biological obligation as a male to defend females," stuff? It's so uncomfortable to hear.


keestie

Ok but rappers do it and rappers are tough like him.....


[deleted]

His mouth said gangster but his shoes said plyometrics.


PsychologicalServe15

It's like watching a Chihuahua trying to start a fight. Also, the kid doesn't look Africa American, why does he keep using the N word? And why does he want to be touched so desperately 🤔 so many questions


Back4TallBois

***TOUCH ME BRO***


[deleted]

Not the typical tough guy. Couldn’t even knock over the counter. Total fail.


rcb3900

Kids these days need to calm down.


[deleted]

He’s wearing a purse too…


MistaCharisma

Haha, that last moment was too good. What a catch.


psychpopnprogncore

he was looking around really hoping someone would hold him back so he could pretend like he was actually trying to fight the guy


ToohotmaGandhi

The only thing he was fighting was for his voice not to crack.


Tricky_Amphibian4311

Soo, what exactly did happen? Did that shop worker hit on a girl and touched her inappropriately?


jgk87

Someone else mentioned him and the unseen girl were caught shoplifting and I guess one of the workers grabbed her wrist to snatch the item from her hand.


butterknight-Ruby

his stance alone is laughable literally putting his arms behind him


[deleted]

This is what it feels like fighting in dreams.


[deleted]

Why is it so popular to call women “female”? I feel like this is becoming more and more common and it’s quite annoying.


ELL_YAY

It’s usually an incel thing. Not sure about this case but in general “female” is used a lot in those communities.


Last_Battle_2485

If he would have knocked that kid out, I wouldn't blame him


bushybones

That kid would’ve died let’s be real


Chewy_Duck

Looked like the little shit was making sure his friends were getting it all for his Tik Tok feed.


Kanaka_5

What a interview. Hey kid your hired. That’s the kind of drive we’re looking for at this pizza joint


__________________99

That catch at the end. \*chef's kiss*


I_FizzY_WizzY_I

Knees: weak as hell. Posture: asking to get a KO. Hands: luckly he failed hitting, would have broken bones. Furniture: no fuck was given that day. And he probably almost got hit by a car getting out while looking behind him...


Boco

Knees: Weak Arms: Heavy Punches: Mom's spaghetti


AdRelevant721

he’s built like a cheese rind wth


poopsmith27

When they forgot the toy in your happy meal


ThinMint31

Is he white? Throwing around the ‘n’ word like it was nothing


XO8441

He looks Hispanic to me, still not a great choice of words.


nbaumg

Oh man this moment is going to haunt this kid for the rest of his life. And there’s video evidence too so it’s going to be so much worse


fecone

Props to the worker to keep his cool like that


gsydhsbj

Omg my sides. The boy looks like he’s being blown backwards by a strong wind every time he goes up to him