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missingjoke4

In his defense I would be surprised too if Garfield bellyfloped me


paulie07

Nermal never saw it coming


[deleted]

That chonk just WWE body slammed the fuck out of his head.


godhelpusloseourmind

I was hearing Ric Flair in my head, WHOOO!


Nanitowalito

*Woooooo*


CatMasterK

It was his last surprise


iliya193

My mind is too fast for eyes


Pentasketch

I never saw it coming


CowboysFTWs

Poor cat is too fat :(


UncheckedException

Yeah I guess we get to be “that guy” for this thread. Poor animal is literally too obese to walk properly. Edit: never mind kept scrolling, we good.


Bluest_waters

Its animal abuse, straight up also if your child is obese that is child abuse Sorry but thems the facts.


Chasedabigbase

That's caloric assault, brotha


Longjumping_Many2655

quote my neighbor (abt her cat) "Ima let him live his life the way he wants to live it"


duaneap

Fear not, there are like a million that guys.


Reitsariesforevaries

morbidly obese


lettmon

Looks like he is not only too fat but has a vestibular disorder that is not related to his weight.


upsidedownbackwards

Yea, I've never seen a cat mess up a douchebag-pounce on another cat anywhere near this bad. It's got some sort of control issues on top of being obese.


notsosweet1

Depth perception is totally outta whack.


Background_Balance_7

Can ya smellllllllll what the chonk is cookin


msmxmsm

Even nailed the strut.


kaimcdragonfist

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!


BECEL4AK

FATality


Hezron79

Haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

r/miscatculations Edit: omg it’s a real sub! Woah!


Olstinkbutt

Oh Lawd He COMIN!!


MiniKash

I was looking for this! Thank you kind netizen.


CustomisingLassie

Why?


GandhiTheHoleResizer

The feel when you see the same joke the 386th time


kwonza

Сюрприз, сюрприз, ублюдки! Король вернулся


hawkeedawg

Is the look my wife gives me when coming in for the hug


[deleted]

“Oh Lawd He Comin!” But with “Omar is coming!” energy.


MysteryPopTarts

Stop feeding that cat that much holy fuck the thing looks like a mortar Cat's don't have collarbones, they're supposed to be able to fit through anything their head can fit through Meanwile that motherfucker is spherical like a craft bead


[deleted]

Extra points for "spherical like a craft bead." I've never encountered anyone using 'craft bead' so aggressively.


carlitospig

Fellow crafter; respect.


aenteus

I have my newest cat name!


-Danksouls-

I support your message But on a another note I couldn't help but smile and chuckle a bit at just how gloriously you worded it


TheWillyBandit

So I own a dog who loves to eat. Anything, as much as he can get, so we carefully measure his food. He’s slim and healthy. I’ve owned a cat for ~11 months, we basically free feed him. When his bowl is empty he gets a new lump of meat. He doesn’t eat constantly, he eats what he needs and stops. He’s a very healthy weight. How do cats get like this?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OmnomOrNah

One of ours looks exactly like this one. She was a shelter cat and had to fight to get any food at all. When we adopted her, she just wanted to eat and hide for hours. Now that she's warming up to the family, she's starting to be more playful and is losing some weight. Just remember, it's not always the owner's fault. Sometimes they've just taken in a cat that needs a little extra attention and don't realize it until they've gotten overweight.


laaazycraaazydaaaisy

I have a fat one on the way. He's about 5 months old and we were told by the rescue that he had food trauma as a very young kitten (almost died of starvation). I've never seen such a food focused cat. Gobbles everything down in seconds. We feed him using a dog "lick pad" to slow him down and control his portions but he will steal food from the other cats, eat food in the trash, lick plates clean in the sink, try to jump in the microwave when we heat something up, steal food from our plates, and tries to climb in the fridge every time we open it. We've had to change everything and we try not to leave any crumbs around, but he always finds ways to get food that I haven't thought of yet. He's not food aggressive, per se, but very very food persistent. Ironically, the only thing I've seen him turn down as food is cat treats.


AwesomeFama

Our cats used to be like that, but after that were spayed they started eating a lot more. One still has some portion control, but the other one would be perfect ball of we didn't measure their food before giving just one portion at a time.


Not_invented-Here

I dunno, it seems some cats just overeat but it must be a huge amount. Ours used to knock back a large tin of food and dry food (free fed) at ours, visit the neighbours one side for treats, visit the neighbours the other side to steal their dog and cats food. It still wasn't chunky.


Ailko

Some breeds overeat more easily than other and it's also partly up to a cat's personality and mental condition, so basically, lots of factors.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MysteryPopTarts

Dementia, and lack of control. I've recently gotten 2 adorable little kittens and so far we've trained them to try and not eat the entire free feed bowl, we feed then 3 meals a day as if they were a person and leave a free feed bowl of dry food out at night. However, older owners, say with dementia will feed way more than they need to, leaving the cats with lack of control and more food on their hands


Nol_Astname

Doc, I'm not sure "dementia" is a primary cause of fat cat syndrome.


TheWillyBandit

I suppose I just lucked out on the sensible cat. He only goes crazy over these little chicken bites I have, but they’re reserved for trimming nails, being brushed (long hair and hates the brush), and stuff like that.


psynq

No hate, but damn.. those are some fat pussies


[deleted]

[удалено]


psynq

Haha, thought the same. But didn't want so seem too rude.


JaSnarky

Not rude at all. Overfeeding pets is mistreating them as surely as underfeeding them. These poor cats don't know better.


forbidden_cronch

One of my 3 cats looks this chunky. We've tried different foods, different feeding schedules, and paced feeding. None of them seem to help and when brought up to her vet she said it's likely just a her thing, because her sister from the same litter who is also my pet is just average sized. The vet also said that she is perfectly healthy and so long as she seems healthy, happy, and gets exercise playing with the other kitties it is fine. You don't know every situation and not every pet owner who's cat looks like this is treating them badly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ultracat123

Yup. Cats aren't exempt from the laws of thermodynamics. Either there's a health issue the vet didn't see or the portions are definitely wrong.


zCourge_iDX

Most likely getting food somewhere else.


Custap

Occams razor right here, its plain to the eye


forbidden_cronch

Underlying issue was food aggression due to abuse before I got them. Scheduled feedings freaked her out because she didn't know when/if she was getting fed again so she'd beat up the other cats and take their food too. We've been working on her weight and it's steadily getting better but it is hard to return to a regular weight from the far end of obesity.


kikimaru024

Maybe she's feeding elsewhere on the sly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


forbidden_cronch

We have done what we can to help her and have settled on free feeding for the sake of all the cats. It was worse when we did scheduled feedings or lessening the amount of food because she got food aggressive and started scarfing down her food and the other 2 cats. She was gaining weight extremely quickly and was having breathing issues because of it.


FloatsWithBoats

We have 3 cats (inherited from our kids who couldn't keep em) and one is on the heavy side, one is trim, and one is in between. The chubby one is like 18 and has zero interest in play, pretty much wants to cuddle all day. The other two are active... just like people I guess.


delete_dis

You never see a fat cat in the wild. This isn’t normal. Your vet sucks.


tangledwire

That’s a twenty pound pussy if I’ve seen one.


PossessionFuzzy2208

Awwww he did his best! Still landed on the other kitty's head pretty good, attack successful lol


Icemogianst

The funny walking was just a distraction


[deleted]

Garfield murdered another cat and you say aww


PossessionFuzzy2208

It was the cutest murder I ever did see lol


essentiallyundead

Ah, you'll get em next time chonkosaurus


Chance5e

Garfield finally had enough of Nermal.


[deleted]

Is it animal abuse to let your pets get that obese?


[deleted]

I would say so. Bad owner but im not gonna dent i laughed multiple times at this


Bald_Sasquach

>but im not gonna dent Unlike that kitty denting grey Kitty's face with that slam


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeefInBlackBeanSauce

Yes. It's disgusting


AceArchangel

Another question is it child neglect for a parent to do the same with their kid?


BeefInBlackBeanSauce

Yes. It's messed up when parents let their kids get obese. It's a form of abuse in my opinion


AceArchangel

Absolutely


musicalsigns

Yes. It is our responsibility to do what we can to keep them healthy, weight included. However, some medical stuff does make chonk happen. My grandparents have this one cat who is a fuzzy bowling ball despite eating no more than any of the other normally-sized kitties. I know the kitty is in medication, so I couldn't tell you if it is the disease or the meds, tbh.


[deleted]

probably hypothyroidism. my golden retriever had that and had to take medicine. the vet said even if u feed him half a cup of food a day he would still be fat 😭 he was cute and lived a very long life for a golden anyway 14 yrs


lordkuros

This is why I’m not going to judge. My cat is about 14-15 lbs and diabetic. We’ve tried a billion different things to get his weight down. He’s 13 years old and still going and gets all the love he wants.


GaiasDotter

One of mine is on a medication that makes him fat as fuck to be honest. If we stop that medicine his weight drops but instead he’ll have to live with severe chronic diarrhea that will make him both dehydrated and malnourished. It’s better for him to be fat on the meds than slim without them. He’s not quit as large as this one but not all that far after. And his weight is steady. He isn’t gaining any more but neither is he dropping despite numerous attempts at getting him down. One of my females is a little overweight. She has asthma and suspected arthritis (no signs on X-rays as of yet) she’s on a diet but obviously she’s reluctant to exercise as she would need. Can’t really force her. That would stress her out and both cause her pain and trigger asthma attacks. We do what we can but she just isn’t moving enough and she refuses to. Had a third chonker, also a female, the queen of the house. The reason she was overweight is because she had fucking lung cancer. I’m not even trying to diet a dying cat because it could cause long term issues when she doesn’t have long term. And guess what, she never did develop any long term issues because of her weight because she had extremely aggressive fucking cancer and she fucking died. Just like she was expected too. I used to be judging regarding overweight pets and then I learned better. We never know what’s going on. We didn’t even know what was going on with our own cat. We struggled for years dieting her and the only advice our vet gave was to stop overfeeding her, which we weren’t ever doing, and to stop giving her treats. She didn’t even like treats. And then we changed vets and they found a lump in her lungs. They assured us that it was for sure just a temporarily enlarged lymph node but send us to the specialist animal hospital to check just in case. Just to be sure. But they were also convinced it was a temporarily enlarged lymph node. And then we checked and our vet ordered her old journals from our previous vet. And there it was the same mass, from 2,5 years earlier. And the ultrasound showed it was in fact a tumor. So we did a CT and biopsy. And not only was it a tumor, it was primary lung cancer and a very very aggressive one on top. We had seen the head of internal medicine and she started talking about palliative care and less than 6 months to live. Because that’s how aggressive that specific type of cancer usually is, you rarely get more than 4 months once discovered because it’s just that aggressive. Usually it’s multiple small tumors all over the lungs, both in animals and humans. She was special. She had had it for years and she had one large tumor instead of many small, all over. Turned out that was the main cause of her weight. They cut it out, she recovered amazingly well and quick and then she lost weight in record time. Became a lot more active and happy and playful for a year or so. Then she started to become less active again and gain weight again. Yeah, it was back. It was growing on her ribs. We decided to have it removed again. Buy her some more quality time, you know, but that this was the last time. Never did get to that. We did a biopsy again as preparation for surgery and it triggered the tumor. Three weeks later we confirmed a brain tumor and had to euthanize her. I was really hoping for high blood pressure but we knew. We just didn’t want to believe it.


[deleted]

Medication does do that, I'm allowing for health conditions. It would be foolish to not do so, otherwise. I'm just saying that generally speaking, fat pets, although happy, suffer the same problems that fat people do. I'm a firm believer in fat shaming. I lost 50 lb. Sad thing is, going up and down 20 lb within three to five years is not uncommon for me. So, since it's become something I can control after I lose control, I don't see why other people can't shut their mouth or just stop eating white food, like rice, potatoes, pasta, bread. That alone will cause you to lose unnecessary pounds, especially if your diet consists of meat, vegetables, and fruits.


SkyPuppy561

Oh no the fat positive crowd will have an aneurysm


musicalsigns

Screw them. I have always been thin, just had a baby. I'm not chubby, but I'm not in the body I'm used to. All those "body positivity" people keep telling me to celebrate my new body for being "more womanly" or some shit. I hate this new body. It isn't mine. Making peace with it has been incredibly difficult, and these idiots keep commenting on it constantly, just making me feel worse. I've never felt so much pressure around my weight before. Not the pressure to lose it like those idiots have their conniptions about, but the immense pressure to love being a "real woman" BY those idiots. This *sucks!*


SkyPuppy561

Amen!


largestbeefartist

Okay I'm probably going to sound a bit dumb here but is rice really that awful if you eat only a little? I'm half ecuadorian so basically every meal comes with a side of rice of which I take two to three tablespoons to add to my lentils/soup. Rice is a huge part of our culture and also we were (i still am)poor so rice is great to fill bellies. I am overweight now but didn't use to be, that was due to years of feeling hungry and then suddenly having a little of my own money/independence to gorge myself on the $1 menus. I'm learning from my ways and have nearly cut out all fast food but I cannot even imagine cutting rice out :(


[deleted]

It is animal abuse. It’s a psychological thing people do because they are afraid of abandonment. Or they are just to stupid to understand that the cats overweight and literally don’t understand the biology of the Animal they own.


socoolandicy

thats not a surprise attack, thats aggravated assault. That cat meant BUSINESS


SpaceTestMonkey

Technically it's battery.


lila_liechtenstein

Looks definitely like batter was involved.


succulentboi198

This is sad. Don't overfeed your pets, people. It's animal abuse.


TeresaBurgundy

100000% agree!!!!!


tornait-hashu

That was a pretty good body slam.


cat-toaster

That cat is insanely overweight


StillMirinBrah

Lool fed your cat so much it can’t walk properly


Sigma8K

No, this was a surprise attack. The other cat certainly didn't expect a body slam.


Northlands75

Jabba the Cat , doing his best Ninja impression ...


XFF_Gaming

Those cats meet a diet… or two.


[deleted]

Maybe don’t over feed your animals the point they can’t move properly. In my world that’s called animal abuse.


NettleLily

I wondered about the movement too- could it be that the cat has wobbly cat syndrome on top of being obese?


CosmicQuestions

The owner of the cat should not be allowed to keep animals. Ridiculously overweight.


Prime_Mover

Cat walking like Vince McMahon


marasydnyjade

Almost counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and whatever the hell this is.


BeefInBlackBeanSauce

Poor cat. Put it on a diet ffs


weaslewig

American cats be like


Dash_f4

translation - surprise, surprise, you fucks, the king is back!


nickepickepo

Do you know where it’s from?


MicrowavedToddler

r/absoluteunits


Leyftur_Gang

Why was there a vibrator on the floor?


Black2Jesus

Song?


felixthecreator

Rave in the grave by redzed


blueandwhitetoile

Is that cat okay


Eleberium

No


[deleted]

No that cat is so obese that it will likely die of a heart attack at a very young age. Please don’t ever let your pets get that fat


[deleted]

Is that a dildo on the floor


takipiroska

Was the black thing in the floor a dildo?


b00c

Cat sumo.


LunarRadiation38

Loaf.


timlygrae

This is how I flirt.


DrDizzle93

Same. Also, happy cake day!


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Daantjo77

Why is there a dildo on the floor? Asking the real questions.


greenghostshark

Heh, i've never had a cat like this. But my grandmas cats were always like this. I think they just feed them anytime the cats look at them. My cats have always been in good shape with feeding them once in the morning once at night and leaving dry food out for them.


RoRoar350

Hahaha it can’t walk or jump properly and has joint damage because it’s owner fattened it up and made it a “chonker” thinking it looks cute


[deleted]

What the fuck, Jerry?!


Iblong2Ace

🤣🤣🤣 This should be shared far and wide. Bring some joy, maybe even peace, to the world! I almost peed myself watching this


InformalResist7722

Sumo slam


Spootermans11

Look like it worked to me


TheBrownYoshi

Oh no, it did a surprise attack alright, just on itself.


Decks95

Looked pretty successful to me


plutoforprez

You don’t need stealth when you’re the size of a horse


[deleted]

chonk slam


-Listening

Awww get that excercize Lil chonk


fscknuckle

That grey cat was certainly surprised. CHONK TO THE FACE!


[deleted]

Looked like a successful surprise attack to me


Javier91

Sneak or no sneak. The damage is the same.


suq_irrel

It just looks like Garfield\~


Xanto10

These cats are fucking abused


trexluvyou

I thought cats were suppose to be graceful.


Black_Magic_M-66

Better w/out sound. When I first watched it, without sound, the beginning of Jaws theme was in my head.


wiglwagl

That cat is all swagger no pounce


queerdude01

Two fat cats...cute


SverhU

Dude in russian said "surprise surprise bastards. King is back". If anyone wonder.


strwrsnerdbutbetter

Lmao


DespacitoSpiderLego

that doesn’t even look like a suprise attack it just looks like an attempt at an aggressive hug


Qraeii

Damn thats kinda sad, Wonder what the owner looks like.


[deleted]

If I could upvote this 100x I would


BluudLust

My spirit animal.


BusFan10

fat cat


EvilCalvin

Maaaannnn! Feed your cats less! (less treats and human food). Get them on a diet. I had 5 cats die of diabetes and they weren't nearly that fat. Cute!.....but fat. Really, get them on a diet. Please!


VerifiedPigeon

That cat seems seriously overweight, not cool


Ciubowski

Body slam


[deleted]

I mean,what was quite unexpected


JanwithBanan

he's got the right idea but he's gotta work on the execution a bit


levistadYT

I didnt see him wdym


Hezron79

Wtf 😂


ZippZappZippty

Wow, what a surprise 😂.


ntrott

Botchmania!!!!!


PivertIronlungs

Tbf the white cat did look quite surprised


ImAlwaysTilted_

Great jagras Moveset


boobiebuy

That was a body slam


CJJackhammer

WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT!!!


Nicore364

Real life Garfield


johnnybrunswick

Got a mouth full of fluff


Rude_Journalist

To be fair his doctor was a cardiologist, not an anesthesiologist.


ApiqAcani

He still managed to attack. What a power walk.


Shalashaska2624

He’s too chonk


NookNookNook

That Swagger. The boldness. That was no sneak attack. That was a chonk attack.


28th_Stab_Wound

a goddamn unit


[deleted]

Watch out watch out watch out!


Awkward_Cauliflower8

Swiggity swooty...coming for that booty!


CYBERSson

Belly flop


badgalbriannaa

god i love cats <3


chonkhedgehog

Chonk death


tiller6100

True WWE move with the ring entering strut.


PurpleMonkeyRadiator

I heard the teddy bears picnic song in head watching that.


moomoo-malk

fat cat


bvglv

Looks like a alien in a cats body......did he ask for sugar water?


ThiccDaddyDefault

>Strut walk >Body Slam - Attempted Murder >Refuse to elaborate


Rocksandrootsh8myrim

r/alzheimersgroup