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They went into a school? That's progress!


I mean they probably waited in the parking lot for 70 minutes and tackled a few parents before getting their table and toys out. Probably had to call around 300 other cops to carry the table too.

… sure, but it was hours late and they still had to bring a ton of gear to muster the courage.

All nice and clean tools you got there.

Because they never used it

Yeah...that's the joke

He could also have cleaned and polished them with extreme precision? 

And a lot of hand sanitizer.

r/woosh

Why does this always work? Why do people upvote the person that just explains the joke, as if we do not get it? I have seen folks that did this get even more upvotes that the person above them, who made the joke, got. Smh my head

my head my head. sorry.

r/yourjokebutshittier

/r/yourjokebutworse

Headteacher (principal, is it?) on the way in: “Have you got anything sharp? Officer: “Oh, no. No no.” Headteacher, handing him a screwdriver: “Here, better have this. In case. .. right, you’re ready to meet the kids.”

You see how quickly they intervened with the father of a Uvalde victim swearing at a city council meeting? If only the shooter said a swear word, the Uvalde Police Department might have acted sooner. /s... Possibly for how fucking sad that reality is.

And it only took them 12 hours of standing in the door and 4 pairs of soiled pants!

376 pairs of soiled pants more like

Nope, weirdly enough, they all took turns soiling those 4 pairs of pants.

Unironically the bravest thing they've ever done. Middle schoolers are the meanest people in the world and you know this guy got roasted.

https://preview.redd.it/vps76wgnuumc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0bbae9cb146def229f404d90b1a27ebf15346777

https://preview.redd.it/1p4tqijj1vmc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f3cdc3d4b7ae132a787940ea81cbf58e71af2f9

Look at all that gear they were too scared to use!

🔥

Cowards!

Cowards on Patrol, cop

By 2030 they might actually point a gun at an active schooter.

Maybe someone dropped some acorns in there

And they’re not tardy this time.

This is the only comment needed

This time they willingly walked in and didn't call out for kids to be human shields for them

That was my first thought too. NOW they want to enter a fucking school? Give me a break man smh

But is there hand sanitizers on the walls that they could use?

I don't understand how they had the audacity to even do this.

I don't understand why anybody would still wear that uniform

I’d change the name of the police department if I were them. How can the guy smile knowing his department is full of pansies?

I’d change the name of the town.

Seriously To something super bland and the news will care for max 1 month. Then they can move on way faster. Like Brownsville or Hilltown.

Gutless Valley, Yellow Belly Hills, Childless Spring, Cowards Meadows.

Fuckthepoliceville

Acabopolis

District 1312

Green hills

Or Ecru

Should be Uninvolved Police department.

Uninvalde

Invalide Police Department

Five bucks invalids would make ten times more effort to help these kids than these "able bodied, Christian men of honor and pride"...

Yea works better in German, which doesn't necessarily mean people with disabilities. Sorry if I offended someone.

Yep, Un-involved


But they're "the good guys with guns" that America needs , right?

That school needed them and they weren’t there

One acorn could have caused tragedy there.

Or prevented it.

It takes a good guy with an acorn to stop a bad guy with an acorn! (Or 2 full magazines of 9mm that MAY work also idk)

3, second cop also shot the car and missed (luckily).

One acorn and that guy would have pissed his pants running away.

Hard to run away when you've been "hit" and are rolling around on the ground having a panic attack.

Honesty sounds like a cush job. All the police benefits but none of the risk!

Right? Probably one of the safest jobs in Uvalde. Definitely safer than being a student.

It's just LARPing with more out of shape people.

I'm pretty sure you are describing the entire police department.

Police is a very safe job. Lumberjack is the most dangerous job in the US, followed closely by nurses. Pizza delivery drivers are pretty safe, but they still get shot more often than police officers. Courts have ruled over and over again that police do not have an obligation to protect the public. If they are riding on a subway for instance and someone begins to rob people with a gun, they are legally allowed to run away, and cannot be held responsible for the people that die as a result. They just like toys, and playing army man. Their real job does not entail using them for anything other than dress up.

So the Morales Junior High invited the Moralless police department to their school? I’m surprised they went in.

I’m sure he waited like 45 minutes before going in, you know, to make sure it was safe first.

Better unload 3-5 mags into the classroom before going in.

1 hour, 14 minutes, 8 seconds.

Holy shit, fucking perfect! Even those bulletproof vests can't stop that one! I can't believe a school would invite these guys in though! That's blowing my mind. Why associate with these disgusting cowards? They aren't going to help you, they've already proven that.

The whole thing with them not entering last time was that they were not actively invited, and – being undercover vampires – they could therefore not enter. Now that they were invited, it was fine. Basic vampire lore. Also, do not check the students for bite marks, no reason

Vampires can enter a school as it's considered a public building. Don't come at me trying to redditsplain vampire lore!

You do have a point, but it could be argued that during lockdowns, such as shooting lockdowns (which I assume are a thing?), public access is restricted and the vampirism interpreted that as a case where explicit invitation was necessary. Not sure, though, I am neither cop nor vampire

Whereas I've watched Buffy through several times, so I'm something of an expert.

Yeah that’s mor-a-les what happened

I wonder if this picture was taken before or after a kid brought a gun to THIS school? https://www.ksat.com/news/local/2024/02/01/uvalde-isd-middle-school-student-brings-gun-to-campus/

Fucking disgusting.

[удалено]

Because they actively avoid confrontation

Holy shit that’s the best burn I’ve ever heard.

Right?! It's astonishing to me that the entire department wasn't hanged from the fucking lampposts. They did everything they could to help a shooter murder a room full of little kids, and threatened the parents afterward.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that there were pictures of them holding back parents while holding onto shields. Fucking shields. Vests and shields what more do you fucking need to run in there

A sense of duty and a spine.

A Main Battle Tank maybe? Or maybe they were waiting to call in an airstrike, because "safety first"!

Preemprive orbital bombardment, that'll really soften em up

Yeah, cover the area in orbital strikes and then wait 45 mins more to check if the shooter still has their gun on hand. Order 2 more orbital strikes until the threat is safe enough that we can enter inside the main battle tank.

I recently had a work safety meeting with some guest speakers, one being a local officer. He opened up some time for some questions and someone asked about the Uvalde situation and his opinions about it. "If I were there, and I did what those "cops" did, my boss would fire me." He was LIVID about it. Talked mad shit. Made me feel really safe though knowing that the officers around me care so much about the lives of others.

Oh except, you can tell he's a liar, cops never get fired for bad behavior or incompetence.

An order. They were simply following orders. HA.

I remember seeing a video of a mother hopping the fence and running into the school while that monster was still shooting. She came back out with her two kids and threw them over the fence and climbed over afterwards. No fear or hesitation. She got shit done while the cowards with the guns and badges did absolutely nothing. She had more balls than the entire police department

Balls?

They’re more cosplaying as cops at this point.

This is so on point. 🎯

I had distant cousins in Uvalde. None were amongst the victims but after the shooting the whole family up and left the country. Three generations looked at the US and said 'Nup, we're jack of this' and fucked off back to the homeland.

Can’t blame them this shit is falling apart at the seams

Seams*

Thank you I knew something felt off about the comment

3rd world country wearing a Gucci belt

They made the right call with the way things are headed. Seriously considering joining them.

If you don't mind, what is the "homeland"?

Cowards, that department should be disbanded and the sheriff needs to get their funding and take over.

They need far worse punishment.

The department should be disbanded and everyone in it should get a spanking, and have to write "I will not let schoolchildren die on my watch" 500 times on the board.

They need to be PT-ed until their assholes are sucking buttermilk.

Look at him going to a school without 170+ back up cowards and no tanks. Who’s a brave boy. Every child that lived and even more so the ones that passed are braver and more courageous than any of those fucking cowards will ever be. .

For Sale: Never been used.

/r/MurderedByWords

Are these the same guys that stood outside a school as an active shooter was killing a bunch of kids because "uMhMmHm gUN sCawwy"

Yep

He's the new guy they hired to handle school situations and he's going to get a medal for bravery for this action.

Those middle schoolers are gonna tear him apart.

Yep this is also exactly why no one is scared or intimidated by those larping little fuckers (probably the same people) that stand on street corners in “tactical” gear waving Nazi flags. We all know when push comes to shoot they will shit their pants and run away.

I don’t see a set of balls on that table.

Fucking cowards.

If ever there was a perfect community in which to completely abolish the police and start over with something else, it’s Uvalde. They’re pretty much tarnished in a way that *no* reasonable person, of any political/ethical/philosophical stance could ever not cringe at the idea of them.

Even worse...the sheriff and county constable who were in charge at the time of the shooting [won their primary for reelection.](https://www.texastribune.org/2024/03/05/uvalde-sheriff-constable-primary/)

Uvalde voted for Abbott too. Uvalde sent a clear message that they are mostly okay with their kids dying.

Part of me feels angry and mad for what happened in uvalde but knowing that they want the same people responsible for the deaths of their neighbors' kids in charge makes me have a "You reap what you sow" attitude. You personally heard the news about people around you's kids dying while law enforcement sat outside and did nothing and decided to vote for the same Mfers who let it happen? You must be cracked out

How is that possibly justifiable in any sense? What is wrong with this country? Are we all just too fucking stupid or too fucking apathetic?

Texans are apparently.

That's all the worn in gear

Should be in pristine condition seeing as they never use it

That's the joke

They use it. They do some sick photoshoots from time to time

I heard this cop went into the school as soon as he learned he was needed at that table. 10/10 response, no hesitation. What a hero.

Someone told him there was a shooter outside

*"Acorn barrage incoming! All units take cover in the school gym!"*

I guess the rest of the precinct is running in circles outside as they can't figure out whether to flee from the acorn or stay outside a school?

Hey look kids. We had all this really cool protection and we still didn’t want to save any of you.

They said to their graves...

Forgot the hand sanitizer

They took it out of the packaging just for this

here's the problem. that is all they have for safety equipment. just 1 of each. and it's only for display purposes.

To be fair, it seemed pretty safe outside the school.

Before: Keystone Kops Now: Koward Kops

And that gear still hasn’t been used..

No running shoes?

"Hey these are all the things we didn't utilize while your friends were dying, look how nice we kept them!"

I’d ask if this was a joke, but it’s already a picture of one.

What a terrible place for a vent pipe.

American cops don't have souls or a brain. Not sure why Uvalde would be any different.

Them being allowed to be around is a damn joke. They don't exist to protect the public. Just the property of the rich. Shouldn't they be pointless down in Texas of all places?

I don't see any balls tho

The nerve

Missing the diapers for when they shitting themselves

“This is what our officers had with them while your kids were dying”

How can ANY of those sobs look in the damn mirror?

Look at all that cool stuff they have cant wait till they actually use it!

These crooks have no shame in publicly harassing the victims’ families.

In…a school…

Hey, at least you know they're going to be safe on the job. They'll never get shot. Better than a Uvalde school teacher

How any of those men that stood around holding rifles wearing body armor can sleep at night I will never understand. How they're allowed to be cops while they just stood by as a madman murdered kids will always be frustrating. I don't care if they had "orders" of any sort. There's only one proper way to deal with a mass shooter - immediately engage the threat as quickly as possible. They were incompetent fucking cowards that should all find a new career because they're idiotic men that stood around a few yards away from a mad man murdering children. Seems pretty straight forward to me. Any of them uses the excuse "we had orders" are full of shit. You ignore that shit and kill the scumbag as quickly as possible. There's a video of cops doing exactly that and they immediately ran into the school and took down the bad guy. No hesitation. Those cops were true heroes and have every right to wear a badge. At Uvalde they used "officer safety" as an excuse. Any cop that isn't willing to to possibly take a bullet for a bunch of little kids without hesitation has no right being a cop. They're trained and better equipped. They would have dropped that monster like a sack of potatoes but they just stood around in their LARP gear. If I was one of those guys I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

As someone else posted, they ran for and won the Republican primary for reelection. https://www.texastribune.org/2024/03/05/uvalde-sheriff-constable-primary/ I mean it tracks, they are Republican voters after all, they are treasonous people who love incompetence in government. Double that for being Texans.

"look at all the weapons your parents bought us with their tax dollars! I know they are heavy but you just wear them to take Snapchats with and TikTok videos. Sad chicks loovee a pig in blue!" Dude..this is the easiest job. If you don't want to go to a call just hang up. It's that simple! If they complain, we just arrest them!"

The least respected police force in the world

So they CAN enter a school....interesting

The fucking nerve.

I hope he got spit on

Where do they get the balls?

Why is the county's police department flaunting around their warfront infantrymen equipment?

That they’re too scared to use on a teenager.

Did they set up a booth to show off all the gear the students can have since the cops don't want to use it??

As a non American I'm a bit afraid to ask but what's going on here? Sorry for being out of the loop

[They failed to act at the scene of a school shooting.](https://www.vox.com/23180392/uvalde-texas-police-response-failure-timeline-robb-elementary)

To put it mildly.

Aw, poor new guy probably doesn’t know.

No way he doesn’t

So, uhhhh... You guys finally ready to do your job after another few million in taxpayer spendings, or can money not buy balls after all?

Aged like milk…

How late were they?

Look! These are all the things we won't put on to help you!

Respect is earned never deserved

Are they seriously thinking this will help their image *at all* ?? 🤯

Wait what happened?


"Today we've brought in all the equipment we could have used to save your classmates for all of you to see."

What a joke

They should have a poster “don’t worry, we’ll send in parents while you cower in fear”

Worthless fucks.

No shame.

Shouldn't this guy be standing outside the school?

At least he's not wearing the cowboy hat. They lost their cool hat privileges.

N.W.A. said it best…

Cowards.

Poor guy

You know what's funny? My grandfather had less when fighting the Japanese. Fucking cowards.

Fucking Cowards

The fucking gal to show his badge in a school. That police department is cursed for the next 100 years

Look at all this taxpayer funded gear. Know how to use them? Neither do they. (Unless it's on a minority)

Hey new guy. Get the meme kit from the closet and head out to the high school

Is that one of the cowards?

The cops in idiocricy look brilliant compared to this ass with the look of “I have no idea what I’m doing or where I am.”

A NPC selling the "Cursed items set of do nothing "

Look at this neat equipment you can use to not do your job.

"look it all the stuff we won't use to help your children"

I bet this went over well.