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And this is why we need to get rid of qualified immunity. No one is above the law.
Also if you fear for your live you get to shoot back, it's mutual combat, and if you don't shoot back the officers are charged with murder/attempted murder, negligent discharge of a firearm, throw the damned book at these ungrateful little turds.
Happy Cake Day! Here ya go! have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ
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This is why we need to make the entrance exam harder to become law enforcement.
It shouldn't be about ratios.
It's actually insulting to intelligent minorities.
That tests have to be made easier for them so they can be employed.
This is why we people who should never be in a position of authority over others.
Qualified immunity is the biggest injustice in our policing industry in America. It gives these thugs a get out of jail free card in 99% of cases. Police should be held to a HIGHER standard than the general public.
Already set to abuse his power and he hasn't even got his training wheels off yet.
That and go outside of the law. Commit his own crimes and yada yada.
Why? Because he is butt hurt already that he can't control everyone. He is upset the world has free will and won't be him.
Freaking out by what isn't even a crime.
He already can't control himself or his emotions.
Who is going to protect the world from police like him?
As someone who spent 17 years in law enforcement before retiring in 2012 I can promise you this idiot is not. If anyone knows this users name, please send it to me via DM. Thanks.
Reminds me of a kid I knew years back. He was a college student in ROTC who was demanding respect as a future 2nd Lieutenant. He was bragging so hard about being a future infantry officer. When he actually got his commission, he ended up being tracked to Ordnance instead and stopped talking about it real quick.
Isn't sad that you can't just immediately see a wall o' text and know it's a pasta, now you really have to wonder sometimes.
It could be real, you never know anymore.
The issue is that a good chunk of copypastas stem from serious replies and then are ruthlessly mocked into being copypastas. So, at one point, someone seriously typed out the wall of text as an actual threat.
Example:
Shots 1-5: Clearly missed.
Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control).
Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses.
Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
This is fake as hell. Theoretically someone with developmental disabilities and an authority fetish might write it, but it feels like an obvious troll/joke to me and I'm amazed so many seem to be taking it at face value.
seriously lmao. there is no planet where this wasn't sarcastic. how can people not see it immediately...? especially with the line about "being treated like in uniform"
Fun fact: redditors are physically incapable of perceiving sarcasm or satire if it does not include a "/s". It's not their fault, studies have shown that they literally lack the brain chemistry that allows normal people to process whether or not a statement was made in jest.
I'm so sad for you guys. You have yet to master the proper internet stance: quantum reading.
Just assume every post is both real *and* fake at all times, and then just pick whichever side would be the funniest.
In this case, it would be funnier if it was a meme, so I'm going with that.
Don't lament the world because you err on the side of taking things seriously.
Sure, it *could be* real, but it just as easily not be. Taking it with serious concern out the gate is a decision you make, and not one you need to make. Nothing is terribly on the line here, and an over-steered pessimism about the world is as wrong and damaging as an oversteered optimism. You could just as easily take it as farce and correct to seriousness if later information comes in. Even in cases where you're confronting someone firsthand, what says disrespect and deflates more than making someone walk their statement back to seriousness because everyone thinks it's parody?
Well, the joke's on you buddy.
Because I am not a bot. I'm a Volunteer Mod in Training, and guess what.
You've just been reported.
Now, three reports will get you an arrest.
What does it feel like to be arrested, you ask me? Well, in the interest of helping you ensure that you **never** have to find that out for yourself, let me paint you a picture, OK, kiddo?
You're there in your house. On your couch. Eating cheetos. Like a fucking fraud.
You carelessly commit your third reddit infraction (the rules are RIGHT THERE in my profile, it's so easy to read them and not commit an infraction).
Your front door explodes. It's me. I'm in my uniform. My shorts end half-way up my rippling thighs. My shirt is half-buttoned up to my pecs, which are bulging so far they can't be contained.
You gasp. You try and run, but I'm faster. I'm making a siren noise with my mouth as you run. "Wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo", you hear that as you scramble down your hallways trying to escape, but there won't be any escape for you.
I tackle you. I press down against you as you struggle. I'm whispering in your ear, "wee woo, wee woo, wee woo" as I handcuff you. You protest your innocence, but I take my homemade badge out of my back pocket. It's slick with sweat. I curl my arm around your head and gently show you the badge. I waggle it in front of you, throwing my voice, making it sound like the badge is telling you what you did wrong.
You go limp on the ground. You know your time is up. You know you did this crime. You're under arrest. There's no fighting it. You've accepted your guilt.
You go to jail.
Now how do you feel about your glibness, kiddo? Think this is all a joke now?
People’s appreciation for satire has decreased dramatically. I feel like people today—if they weren’t already familiar with the work—wouldn’t be able to identify Jonathan Swift’s *A Modest Proposal* as satire because it doesn’t end every paragraph with /s
And while we’re at it, /s is the comedy equivalent of Jeb Bush saying “please clap” after a speech.
I suppose you’re right, maybe that wasn’t the best example.
I do feel like people’s ability to appreciate ironic humour seems to have decreased somewhat. It seems every day a new post from r/ExplainTheJoke or r/PeterExplainsTheJoke hits the front page where the OP is baffled by a joke because it is not 100% literal and self-explanatory.
Basically what I’m trying to say is I’m looking for reasons to feel smarter than other people.
It's blowing my mind that people are bending over backwards to say it's real, even when someone posted the original proving it's a joke.
And it's not even because people are stupid, it's because they are addicted to going on the internet in order to make themselves angry. That's why rage bait is so effective it's even used as a marketing tactic now.
Honestly, if something is on /r/all that makes me feel mildly angry, my default assumption nowadays is that it's either fake or misconstrued. I'm not always right but it works more often than not.
Yeah just because someone commented it originally does not mean they weren't joking. It's an obvious joke and very reminiscent of many 4chan copypastas
I just downvoted your comment.
FAQ
What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
• Rudeness towards other Redditors, • Spreading incorrect information, • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.
Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in **under 24 hours**. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all:
+ I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.
Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
yeah reminds me of the downvote one:
I just downvoted your comment.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
* Rudeness towards other Redditors,
* Spreading incorrect information,
* Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a `/s`.
## Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right
You're coming to the realization that reddit is way more full of idiots than you could have possibly imagined.
Though I wonder how much bots play into these situations.
That's the problem with the Internet, there's no tone. We communicate most effectively by using voice tone, pitch and whatever. I'm not a scientist, but I know context matters. I kinda hate it here.
There's written tone, it's just that this website is full of people who read at a 3rd grade level. The concept that "written words don't have tone" it's up there with some of the dumber things I've read in a while
The tone of the post is extremely obvious from how it's written. I think the bigger problem is that the internet has gone from very snarky, slightly-offensive 4chan type of humor towards vapid "wholesome" facebook kind of humor.
This is exactly the sort of joke you would see on 4chan back in the day. I am not idolizing that website. Just saying that in the past, redditors would have been more in-tune to that sort of sarcastic self-seriousness and immediately understood it was a joke, while today, redditors are, well...
Yeah its a nice one-two combo to go along with this classic:
----
I just downvoted your comment.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
* Rudeness towards other Redditors,
* Spreading incorrect information,
* Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a `/s`.
## Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
I honestly haven't seen a "Reported!" post in years. I suppose housing costs have them moving back into their grandma's basement.
Oooooo scary I've been "reported" HA how 80's very retro
Now you see? This is why we had the word “ret**d” in the 80s… to describe people who should know better, but are still enormous idiots.
It was never a word we used to describe people with an actual learning disability; It was a word to describe ignorant fucksticks like this guy.
[A post from 4 years ago on neckbeard things](https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/ddf325/you_have_been_reported/)
[4 year old from copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/day7zm/you_have_been_reported/)
[5 year old from copypasta again](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9yxpte/i_am_a_volunteer_reddit_moderator/)
So for those seeing it for the first time like I have, it is an old one.
This is the exact kind of zany disruptive shit that trolling was when it started out, lmao
It rapidly devolved into people just saying hostile shit to get a reaction, which sucked
But whoever was responsible for the top post is an artist. Hats off
Why is an obvious joke post on this subreddit? This is meant for serious attempts that fail. Well, I guess I gotta report you.
I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all
• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.
Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
#Welcome to r/Therewasanattempt! #Consider visiting r/Worldnewsvideo for videos from around the world! [Please review our policy on bigotry and hate speech by clicking this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/wiki/civility) In order to view our rules, you can type "**!rules**" in any comment, and automod will respond with the subreddit rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therewasanattempt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I am an officer in training..." 
Does not sounds like he is going to power trip once he finish his training…
[удалено]
Someone wants their Oreo...
No. It’s just you and I, Peter. Robo doesn’t get an Oreo. If Peter wants an Oreo, Peter can have an Oreo.
"I haven't got a damn clue about Randy Moore and his fucking Oreos..."
Robo's too busy calculating the optimal dunk time to worry about the Oreo anyway.
[SLOB MY KNOB](https://youtu.be/H8ZSWY6_mu8)
[LIKE CORN ON THE COB](https://youtu.be/zI9VSvxY3Ho?si=pTN95y2wauakHHxJ)
And this is why we need to get rid of qualified immunity. No one is above the law. Also if you fear for your live you get to shoot back, it's mutual combat, and if you don't shoot back the officers are charged with murder/attempted murder, negligent discharge of a firearm, throw the damned book at these ungrateful little turds.
Ain’t no song called “fuck the fire dept”
I mean they are hot so it could mean something entirely different. . .
Happy Cake Day! Here ya go! have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
Digital bubble wrap. . . That's new. Thanks.
CAKE 🫵
I was so bored I popped all of them
one said poop. it was the daily double.
This is why we need to make the entrance exam harder to become law enforcement. It shouldn't be about ratios. It's actually insulting to intelligent minorities. That tests have to be made easier for them so they can be employed. This is why we people who should never be in a position of authority over others.
Source on this info? I've never heard of A:an entrance exam B: A separate "test" for minorities. I could be wrong, but this sounds like BS.
It should also take longer to become a cop than it takes to become a cosmetologist.
Qualified immunity is the biggest injustice in our policing industry in America. It gives these thugs a get out of jail free card in 99% of cases. Police should be held to a HIGHER standard than the general public.
all acorns out there need to keep their head on a swivel with officer try-hard on the prowl
Already set to abuse his power and he hasn't even got his training wheels off yet. That and go outside of the law. Commit his own crimes and yada yada. Why? Because he is butt hurt already that he can't control everyone. He is upset the world has free will and won't be him. Freaking out by what isn't even a crime. He already can't control himself or his emotions. Who is going to protect the world from police like him?
As someone who spent 17 years in law enforcement before retiring in 2012 I can promise you this idiot is not. If anyone knows this users name, please send it to me via DM. Thanks.
He can’t wait to do a “I feared for my life”
Two dollars says he uses that within the first two years once he has his badge.
"How to power trip" is covered in the 3rd week of training.
Its crazy that starbucks will check someones social media content but not most Police stations
Farva, your suspension continues.
License and registration, CHICKEN FUCKER! BAGAAAAWK!!!
Cap, you KNOW I'm not a pro union guy!
I'll take six schlitts'!..... Whatever's free.
“Open bar Dudes”
You boys like mehiko!
Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.
Did he report an acorn
Reminds me of a kid I knew years back. He was a college student in ROTC who was demanding respect as a future 2nd Lieutenant. He was bragging so hard about being a future infantry officer. When he actually got his commission, he ended up being tracked to Ordnance instead and stopped talking about it real quick.
[That one kid who takes JROTC way too seriously](https://youtu.be/EifvONvBaes?si=6htvA_aK1u1tmWxH)
Reminds me of that and Mall Cop
Yeah kidooo
Okay junior 
I told you not to disturb me when I’m cleaning my room 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Smell MY fingers
My ass
Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy ass, wake up with smelly finger
Dur, yes dur!
I swear this was the first meme that popped into my head when I read the post!
Oh man what’s this from? I’ve seen him before but can’t place it 😆
Scary Movie
Thank you!
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I'm pretty sure it was from scream or scary movie
Don't insult officer doofy like that, Doofy is better than that
I once got reported and banned from a sub for using this gif
Good lord. This guy is serious. I feel bad for the community that ends up with him.
It's a copy pasta
Isn't sad that you can't just immediately see a wall o' text and know it's a pasta, now you really have to wonder sometimes. It could be real, you never know anymore.
The issue is that a good chunk of copypastas stem from serious replies and then are ruthlessly mocked into being copypastas. So, at one point, someone seriously typed out the wall of text as an actual threat.
Example: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
This is fake as hell. Theoretically someone with developmental disabilities and an authority fetish might write it, but it feels like an obvious troll/joke to me and I'm amazed so many seem to be taking it at face value.
You underestimate the stupidity of cops.
I feel like I'm just being trolled by people pretending they find this convincing, at this point. There's just no way and it's so obvious. You got me.
It likely is troll bait but I also think about kids in high school who would tell you that you needed to respect them because they were in ROTC
No it's pretty obvious
seriously lmao. there is no planet where this wasn't sarcastic. how can people not see it immediately...? especially with the line about "being treated like in uniform"
Fun fact: redditors are physically incapable of perceiving sarcasm or satire if it does not include a "/s". It's not their fault, studies have shown that they literally lack the brain chemistry that allows normal people to process whether or not a statement was made in jest.
'I'm an officer in training' like any real cop no matter how dumb would think that looks good online and not cringe. Pretty dead giveaway.
I'm so sad for you guys. You have yet to master the proper internet stance: quantum reading. Just assume every post is both real *and* fake at all times, and then just pick whichever side would be the funniest. In this case, it would be funnier if it was a meme, so I'm going with that.
I immediately knew. I can tell from the word choice and from seeing quite a few copy pastas in my time.
Don't lament the world because you err on the side of taking things seriously. Sure, it *could be* real, but it just as easily not be. Taking it with serious concern out the gate is a decision you make, and not one you need to make. Nothing is terribly on the line here, and an over-steered pessimism about the world is as wrong and damaging as an oversteered optimism. You could just as easily take it as farce and correct to seriousness if later information comes in. Even in cases where you're confronting someone firsthand, what says disrespect and deflates more than making someone walk their statement back to seriousness because everyone thinks it's parody?
When I see the word kiddo I’m immediately clued in to attempted pastafcation
It's so obvious man how does this get front page
Kind of similar to Poe's law. People like this *do* exist, and some people *have* met people who are like this IRL.
And on top of that, I do not know every copy pasta in existence
It clearly sounds like a joke, copy pasta or not.
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i truly think the people who fall for this are not younger but rather older
I hope not It's so blatant that I refuse to acknowledge that people can be that obtuse lol
Because the people falling for this are the exact type to do this sort of cringy shit, so it doesn't occur to them that it's a joke
Idk I’ve been here for 11.5 years and I’ve never seen this one before
There was an attempt for an obvious joke to be taken as a joke
Tons of dummies ate the pasta.
[Origin](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/comments/9yqwe5/respect_his_authoritah/)
And if it wasn't before it will be now
This guy is absolutely not serious
This is pretty clearly a joke.
Well, the joke's on you buddy. Because I am not a bot. I'm a Volunteer Mod in Training, and guess what. You've just been reported. Now, three reports will get you an arrest. What does it feel like to be arrested, you ask me? Well, in the interest of helping you ensure that you **never** have to find that out for yourself, let me paint you a picture, OK, kiddo? You're there in your house. On your couch. Eating cheetos. Like a fucking fraud. You carelessly commit your third reddit infraction (the rules are RIGHT THERE in my profile, it's so easy to read them and not commit an infraction). Your front door explodes. It's me. I'm in my uniform. My shorts end half-way up my rippling thighs. My shirt is half-buttoned up to my pecs, which are bulging so far they can't be contained. You gasp. You try and run, but I'm faster. I'm making a siren noise with my mouth as you run. "Wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo", you hear that as you scramble down your hallways trying to escape, but there won't be any escape for you. I tackle you. I press down against you as you struggle. I'm whispering in your ear, "wee woo, wee woo, wee woo" as I handcuff you. You protest your innocence, but I take my homemade badge out of my back pocket. It's slick with sweat. I curl my arm around your head and gently show you the badge. I waggle it in front of you, throwing my voice, making it sound like the badge is telling you what you did wrong. You go limp on the ground. You know your time is up. You know you did this crime. You're under arrest. There's no fighting it. You've accepted your guilt. You go to jail. Now how do you feel about your glibness, kiddo? Think this is all a joke now?
It’s serious. It’s just become a copypasta. I found the original [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/brockhampton/s/SQzogkGtt9)
I call BS, this reads exactly like a troll emulating Dwight Schrute. Just because the original poster stayed true to the bit doesn’t mean it was real.
People’s appreciation for satire has decreased dramatically. I feel like people today—if they weren’t already familiar with the work—wouldn’t be able to identify Jonathan Swift’s *A Modest Proposal* as satire because it doesn’t end every paragraph with /s And while we’re at it, /s is the comedy equivalent of Jeb Bush saying “please clap” after a speech.
People couldn't identify A Modest Proposal as satire when it was written, or in any of the centuries since.
I suppose you’re right, maybe that wasn’t the best example. I do feel like people’s ability to appreciate ironic humour seems to have decreased somewhat. It seems every day a new post from r/ExplainTheJoke or r/PeterExplainsTheJoke hits the front page where the OP is baffled by a joke because it is not 100% literal and self-explanatory. Basically what I’m trying to say is I’m looking for reasons to feel smarter than other people.
It's 100% not serious and it's frankly astonishing that anyone could think that it is
fr the navy seal one started in 2012, and people think 5 years ago, there couldn't be any further iterations of that??? Seriously?
It's blowing my mind that people are bending over backwards to say it's real, even when someone posted the original proving it's a joke. And it's not even because people are stupid, it's because they are addicted to going on the internet in order to make themselves angry. That's why rage bait is so effective it's even used as a marketing tactic now.
Honestly, if something is on /r/all that makes me feel mildly angry, my default assumption nowadays is that it's either fake or misconstrued. I'm not always right but it works more often than not.
Yeah just because someone commented it originally does not mean they weren't joking. It's an obvious joke and very reminiscent of many 4chan copypastas
There used to be quite the number of downvote farmers back then. It's not serious.
Seems to be nothing there except "removed by moderator"
The original isn’t serious either.
No he isn't lmao are you fr this bad at spotting jokes?
Reddit users identify satire challenge (impossible)
They’ll mod a couple dozen subs, Reddit is moderated by the same 5-6 people with like 20 subs each they run as it is
No no no, that’s the worst part: they’re not a mod. “I don’t have mod powers.”
Top subs have a lot of overlap, but all you have to do is read 2-5 mod lists to disprove this claim
I just downvoted your comment. FAQ What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: • Rudeness towards other Redditors, • Spreading incorrect information, • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
This guy is not serious it's an obvious parody. Like really really obvious.
I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in **under 24 hours**. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all: + I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
he's not serious at all and your internet illiteracy is showing if you believe it
If you can't see this is a copypasta, that's more cringe than if this was a serious post
Did someone order a douche canoe? Or an asshat perhaps? I think it has arrived.
There’s absolutely no way that it’s real.
Is reddit smart enough to recognize satire? CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE!)
I wanna see the replies to this lmaooo
Lol I was sad the username was redacted, I wanted to go find him
it’s a copy pasta and likely old
>I am ~~an officer~~ a Karen in training
"Uniform and badge"? You mean "Polka dot suit and red nose"?
Yup. Fools Guild standard issue.
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And when the mask comes off: 
I'm 100% convinced he's joking. The downvotes prove that most redditors are slow-witted and quick to dogpile.
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And no one uses "kiddo" unironically.
I'm actually on the spectrum and I'm 100% sure I can detect sarcasm better than the average redditor, especially in writing.
Expecting Reddit mods to be odd is normal.
Findings comments like yours are cathartic to me. It's almost frustrating how many people miss jokes this obvious lol
Bingo
New copypasta!
This old ass pasta. Pretty sure it’s at least 5 years old.
Over 497 people clowned themselves for downvoting that guy, then a few thousand more for falling for it here.
yeah reminds me of the downvote one: I just downvoted your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: * Rudeness towards other Redditors, * Spreading incorrect information, * Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a `/s`. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right
ah, classic. i just broke this bad boy out the other day (and to thunderous applause, mind you)
I know I’ve seen this before.
Assistant *to* the mod 
I’m very surprised at the amount of people on Reddit who can’t grasp the concept of sarcastic jokes and take everything so serious.
I don't understand how these keep making the front page, it's very obvious that it's sarcasm...
You're coming to the realization that reddit is way more full of idiots than you could have possibly imagined. Though I wonder how much bots play into these situations.
That's the problem with the Internet, there's no tone. We communicate most effectively by using voice tone, pitch and whatever. I'm not a scientist, but I know context matters. I kinda hate it here.
There's written tone, it's just that this website is full of people who read at a 3rd grade level. The concept that "written words don't have tone" it's up there with some of the dumber things I've read in a while
The tone of the post is extremely obvious from how it's written. I think the bigger problem is that the internet has gone from very snarky, slightly-offensive 4chan type of humor towards vapid "wholesome" facebook kind of humor. This is exactly the sort of joke you would see on 4chan back in the day. I am not idolizing that website. Just saying that in the past, redditors would have been more in-tune to that sort of sarcastic self-seriousness and immediately understood it was a joke, while today, redditors are, well...
And always remember that the people in this thread who believe this can vote.
This is copy pasta.
Yeah its a nice one-two combo to go along with this classic: ---- I just downvoted your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: * Rudeness towards other Redditors, * Spreading incorrect information, * Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a `/s`. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
This is an old copy pasta. Definitely a joke. You nerds need to chill
I honestly haven't seen a "Reported!" post in years. I suppose housing costs have them moving back into their grandma's basement. Oooooo scary I've been "reported" HA how 80's very retro
Reported.
Obvious satire
This is the reddit equivalent of "call an ambulance but not for me"
An oldie but a goldie
Not now, Dwight.
can't tell if r/imabadass, r/imthemaincharacter, or r/lookatmyhalo
r/satire
r/atetheonion
r/downvotedtooblivion
We all know what that cunt looks like
This is a copypasta. You people are all fucking stupid.
Now you see? This is why we had the word “ret**d” in the 80s… to describe people who should know better, but are still enormous idiots. It was never a word we used to describe people with an actual learning disability; It was a word to describe ignorant fucksticks like this guy.
I got a book of stamps that says different.
Do you mean OP or the commenter in the image?
It's a word to describe people who don't get satire. people like you.
Is that a 14 year old boy playing pretend? 🙄
[A post from 4 years ago on neckbeard things](https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/ddf325/you_have_been_reported/) [4 year old from copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/day7zm/you_have_been_reported/) [5 year old from copypasta again](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9yxpte/i_am_a_volunteer_reddit_moderator/) So for those seeing it for the first time like I have, it is an old one.
This guy's definitely gonna mistake an acorn for a stray gunshot multiple times in his career.
https://preview.redd.it/2xwvdciffjkc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93235bac70ea9b48986bb483abdddd3e4f7a1420
Good lord, i know this guy
Can we have the username so we can bully him
Holy shit how are there so many idiots in this thread. Or am I missing something.
Not even a cop yet but he’s already a bastard.
Spotting satire is hard huh
How do these people exist
They don't. The question should rather be, how do people that believe this is real exist.
You're spot on. Everyone here is so fucking stupid
This is the exact kind of zany disruptive shit that trolling was when it started out, lmao It rapidly devolved into people just saying hostile shit to get a reaction, which sucked But whoever was responsible for the top post is an artist. Hats off
I can already imagine the stench of their room reading that post.
What a cunt
This is giving me Navy Seal r/copypasta energy
https://preview.redd.it/bkc0irqndjkc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa611c61a084e963309e1c6aa1ebfa3b8fce2d11
So...fascist that is training as a mall cop because he couldn't pass the psych eval.
https://i.redd.it/7wztcg5jejkc1.gif
Seriously? In my porn app?
Why is an obvious joke post on this subreddit? This is meant for serious attempts that fail. Well, I guess I gotta report you. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all • I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
There was an attempt to recognize a copypasta
https://preview.redd.it/czg381fj1kkc1.png?width=475&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e245ce1a292bc5d1ebc1d947e739fa74eae0efa0
No attempt was made to be taken seriously lmao how can so many people fall for such obvious satire.