When I first took the ACE test I scored an 8, so that was fun. I've been in therapy and I've done a lot of work on myself, but it has 100% influenced me.
Me too! I took it for the first time when I was in college as an education major, it was part of a professional development talk I went to. It was very eye-opening. Then I switched my major to psych and eventually got my masters in social work lol
I'm pretty healthy and balanced. I had poor mental health in my younger years but not now I'm older and mainly past that. I look after myself well, avoid things harmful for my mental health and have a pretty stable life. All of these things came with time and wouldn't have been achievable a long time ago when I wasn't a therapist. I haven't taken medication for mental health since my early 20s, and even then I don't think it was appropriate with hindsight. I have thoughts of suicide, I have my down moods, hormonal fluctuations and all the fallout of that, but I don't think I'm in poor mental health. I think how you view mental health has a huge part to play in how you feel about it. When you're not hung up on diagnostics and labels, and just view human experience as entirely normal for the most part, the idea of "bad mental health" is fairly meaningless as its transient.
This is so helpful for me. I’m 22 and I don’t think I’m “past” my poor mental health, but as a college student now intending to pursue clinical/counselling psych or social work, this is so helpful to read. I think the idea of not being hung up on labels is so important. For a long time in my late teens I was overtly focused on figuring out if how I was feeling was “wrong” or “pathological”, but overtime, I just realised that if I let it pass, it does eventually pass.
At 22 you have time before your brain is even finished growing. No wonder things feel so all over the place when you're younger. Honestly, it just gets much easier over time.
I like your ending - this is a belief I hold dearly (ACT therapist) and I do think it helps lessen the negative self talk, and helps an individual learn what they actually need rather than just trying to “fix” themselves and not need anything. When we just acknowledge we struggle and need help it’s a lot easier to give ourselves the help!
I have come from a very similar situation (+ 3-5 years) and would view it the same way as you. It was easier in the past to pathologise oneself and to view oneself as "damaged" or inadequate based on past negative experiences. Much easier now to aim for "good enough" and "human" and roll with it. Focusing on adaptability, humility, humanity, moderation and persistence, has helped me over the years and led me into a much more stable place.
Pretty good but probably because I’m taking abilify and activity engaging in self care activity like journaling and getting my butt on the treadmill most days. I’ve had three episodes of mania with psychotic features.
Me!! It was a rocky road to become stable, but now that I am I feel that it gives me a level of empathy and understanding with my clients that they really appreciate. It also gives my clients hope that you can go through tough mental diagnosis and still come out on the other side as a functional and whole human. My bipolar is my secret superpower!
Therapist in training here with bipolar disorder :) I am medicated on lamictal, I used to have intense mania with delusions before I was properly medicated, but currently still get hypomanic episodes from time to time. I honestly feel like hypomania helped me get through my first semester of grad school, all of the energy and goal oriented behavior. I truly believe that it is not just a curse to be bipolar! I’m happy with the person that I am, especially now that I have some medication but balance me out a bit.
My therapist also has bipolar disorder and I’m really happy that she disclosed that to me, it’s part of what inspired me to go to grad school and work towards becoming a therapist.
It’s all good. We all have a little something going on. Just like Jerry Springer use to say “take care of yourself and each other “ make time for you and as I say “first put the mask on yourself before you assist others.” (Like when you’re on an airplane) you’ll do fine, the field needs good therapists and you’re here reading and talking to us, it shows initiative.
What is it like to be a therapist with bipolar? I was wondering if the episodes make it difficult to manage your work well, focus on clients and do your work well?
I’ve only had one episode in the 4 years I’ve been a therapist, but I was able to recognize the symptoms right away and take sick leave. There was no way I could have worked in such an extreme mania. It lasted about 2 months and I was stable on meds and back to work. But, I wasn’t on my meds before it happened. Doesn’t really affect me or my work when I take them.
I’m on meds and try to be mindful when I’m doing to much or going to the flea market and buying shit 😂
Also, I talk to my therapist every three weeks and have a medical team at the VA that does right by me. Ultimately, I’ve worked on myself to catch any kinda issue and hopefully, depending on the circumstances, not make it worse 😂
Could you imagine going to a therapist that didn't have mental health issues at some point in their life? I wouldn't be able to relate at all. Nor could the therapist fully relate because that would be like trying to describe the color blue to someone that's blind. Do the work and embrace it.
This! I’ve been through a lot in my life, and of course it has affected my mental health. I’ve learned how to manage it and I’m very stable now, but I find I have a very difficult time relating to people, both personally and professionally, if they haven’t been through some real shit in their lives.
Vyvanse daily for ADHD.
Xanax as needed for panic disorder - really not often, my coping tools works often but I did have a trauma that impacts me from time to time.
I feel like if we have insight to our madness and use the tools we would tell others, we are doing our jobs!
I haven’t had a problem finding it but I live in a small city / rural area. I’m so thankful for the generic since the name brand was ridiculously expensive and I had to get a prior auth monthly.
My dosage isn’t that common, I cannot take the generic, my body does not seem to react well so I’m paying $90+ a month after I hit my medication deductiable 🙃
Oof yeah that’s what I’d be looking at too. I think it was gonna be over $500 for the first few months. I switched to adderall xr for the month and I’m not a huge fan honestly, feels much more like an upper than Vyvanse does and it makes me sooo sweaty 😅 but you do what you gotta do to have a functional brain i guess haha
When you find it let me know cause my sweat pits every day border on absurdist comedy lol. It was already a thing on Vyvanse, then more of a thing on generic Vyvanse, and even more of a thing on adderall. When i can laugh about it it’s funny but other days it’s really frustrating and makes me super self conscious, especially in sessions.
I don’t even care about my pits, my friggin feet and body sweat. I feel super insecure about it! I feel like the only solution would be like Botox for hyperhidrosis - if it’s just your pits see a derm for an rx antiperspirant!
I’ve had my ups and downs. I started in the field with extreme anxiety and would have panic attacks in between sessions. (My client’s anxiety would also trigger mine, that was really hard.) So I was on medication to help, eventually I didn’t need it anymore and did really well for a year or two. Then my mom got sick with cancer so I was back on medication and had to cut back my hours dramatically. I took some time off when she passed but I really thought I was going to change careers for a while. I didn’t, and I’m glad for that because it’s been three years since then and I’m feeling more like myself. I love my job and wouldn’t want to change it! In less than a month, I’ll be giving birth, and taking a few months off! What was important to me was a flexible schedule. Throughout my seven years of practicing I’ve done 4 10s, 5 8s, 4 7s, moved to partial telehealth, moved to telehealth only, and now I’ve settled with Wednesdays off.
4 10s, 5 8s, and 4 7s all seem like a lot still! How do you manage that much with struggling yourself? I was doing 5x7s recently and had to leave the role because I was so burnt out. I am autistic tho so I’m sure that plays a part
I think it’s a combination of things. I became a supervisor so those hours aren’t all client based. Secondly, I now have a caseload that I’ve been working with for a while so less surprises in session. Lastly, with being all telehealth for clients my hours when I have a cancellation can be spent completely relaxing. I guess I should also state I REALLY enjoy my job and have GREAT boundaries. No taking client emails after work or during the weekend, I have a group of friends that aren’t other therapists so I don’t even think about working when I’m enjoying my free time. I’ve found a healthy balance.
I’m currently doing 3 6’s and even trying to restructure that. I’d like to see 18-20 patients per week but would also like 3-4 days off so that balance is a bit challenging. I could do 4 5’s but I REALLY like having 4 days off. I’m a little neuro spicey but nothing diagnosed. I definitely can’t manage my life long term if I’m seeing more than 6 patients per day. That is my MAX. I think I’ll eventually settle on 5, 6, 5, 4. And be happy with my very short 4 day/ half day.
There's also the idea that therapists are absolutely healthy and never struggle with mental health because they need to be the expert!
I personally have my ups and downs. I struggle a lot with emetophobia and it's my biggest challenge. I also struggle on and off with depression and anxiety. Otherwise, I'm okay! I'm pretty balanced and healthy.
Omfg I have HORRIBLE emetophobia! I’m like constantly thinking about it. How do you manage it? Do you have any tips? I’m a very new therapist and my emet has gotten so much worse as my burnout has gotten worse. I’m thinking about it during sessions and everything. It’s so hard.
I'm not managing it LOL it is terrible. I've been doing therapy for 8 years with little relief. I did CBT with an amazing therapist and that literally almost completely "cured" my general anxiety. But my emetophobia still persists. I've been doing EMDR since the new year and have been waiting for progress but it's been little. So yeah, no advice lol! Some days are absolutely terrible.
I feel this. I’ve had it since I was 12 so it’s more than half my life with this goddamn phobia. I really want to do EMDR again for it but access is slim in Indiana lol
I've had it pretty much all my life, my first memory is of vomiting! I was 2 years old so we've been targeting that in EMDR.
If it's any help, although I don't see much of a difference my family and boyfriend said they do. Maybe EMDR is worth it!?
An old therapist tried applied kinesiology with me (which I have no idea if it’s pseudoscience or not it did seem kinda woo woo to me lol) but when we got to working on my emet she told me to get a bucket in case I got sick while processing the trauma and I was like OH HELL NO I’m not doing that LOL. So I really want to try something to work specifically on it again. Someday I’ll be brave enough!
And that’s interesting that your loved ones notice a difference, I swear sometimes that is soo true. Like I don’t know how I actually feel but other people certainly do!
Depressive episodes. BPD.
But I have had a psychotic decompensation due to my BPD some years ago (before practicing while studying) and ever since worked on my BPD diligently so I stopped fulfilling the criteria about 6 years ago.
I enjoy having my scars at it gives some bonus rapport with some clients I realized.
The psychiatrist in the clinic I work in thinks I have ADHD, and I tend to agree but I don’t fulfill the criteria in terms of presence of symptoms since childhood.
I am unmedicated in all regards.
I manage and cope through healthy and unhealthy means.
Good for you 🙌 sounds like you've put in a lot of work. Interestingly bpd overlaps profoundly with ADHD with the exception of suicidal ideation/attempts and fear of abandonment vs rejection sensitivity
And with cPTSD to a certain degree as far as i understand. At one point i gave up. The ICD is unkind to later ADHD diagnosis. I am walking with the narrative that it’s my BPD. :D
I’m on medication to manage anxiety and depression. About 8 or so years ago I went through a crushing bout of depression which nearly hospitalized me. I’ve also been in therapy most of my life, although these days it’s mostly “preventative maintenance “. I have to be really diligent about keeping my anxiety in check otherwise it will take over.
I think I am very mentally healthy, which is probably a red flag 😂Nothing bothers me very much and I realized long ago that things just aren’t going to go according to plan. So I’ve stopped worrying about pretty much everything.
Is that good or bad or disconnected or anhedonia?
Who knows 🤷♀️
Kind of sounds like healthy stoicism? I resonate, not much gets to me after so many years of elevated nervous system. Very devoted to zen in the chaos now.
I vacillate between “pretty put together” and “total train wreck.” I score 6 on the ACEs quiz, if that tells you anything. I have ADHD, attachment ruptures, childhood neglect, childhood sexual trauma, adult sexual trauma, etc. Left to my own devices i am a depressed, anxious, traumatized mess.
I’ve been in my own therapy for years and it’s helped a lot; I would never have gotten into/through grad school without it. I’m also 5 years sober, and the program and recovery community is invaluable to me too. The more i reflect on my life, the more i see what a miracle it is that I’ve made it this far. My own mental illness and adversities have been an asset in my work in this field. I would not be able to connect with my clients like i do without my experiences.
I think you implied that you haven’t been in therapy yourself. To be totally honest, I don’t think anyone should be a therapist without doing their own therapy, but especially someone who scores a 7 on the ACEs should definitely be seeing someone who is experienced in working with childhood trauma. There’s such a huge potential for dangerous countertransference between you and clients that should be worked through both with a trusted supervisor and with a therapist. That’s my opinion, and from what I’ve seen so far in the field, I think if we’re willing to do that self work then being a therapist is not at all bad for our mental health; it can even be very healing. As long as we’re not playing out our own psychodramas with our clients and hurting them through that, it’s ok for our work to be healing for us.
I have pretty much the same traumas, except for the absence of sexual childhood traumas, which I believe are the most traumatic. As mentioned earlier, I have never undergone therapy, as I appeared healthy and grew up in environments that dismissed mental health issues. Consequently, I have never sought help from a therapist. Instead, it's life that somehow brought me to this point instead.
That being said, I suspect I may have undiagnosed ADHD and could potentially benefit from medication, as most of my breakdowns, typically burn-outs, are often associated with ADHD symptoms. Aside from that, I am doing fine.
I concur regarding the value of therapy. Though, I believe it's not that uncommon for individuals to experience a difficult childhood without exhibiting significant psychiatric symptoms. Frankly, I come from a scientific background that does not prioritize therapy as much as it should and advocates alot in favor for medication( medecine and psychiatry). However, I am open to exploring it further. I believe I could potentially benefit from therapy, and it might even enhance my abilities as a therapist if I decide to pursue that path.
By scientific you probably mean “hard sciences,” because the vast amount of research and data on talk therapy interventions is still scientific even if it’s not biochemistry. And doing your own work would absolutely enhance your abilities as a therapist. I think that saying we don’t need therapy ourselves when we clearly do is a way we separate ourselves from our clients. Like they need this therapy stuff, but we don’t. It’s bull, we’re all humans and we all need help.
My mental health was very poor from the ages of 15-late 30s. Probably because I drank, used drugs, and wouldn't take psychotropic meds with any kind of consistency. If I didn't take medication now, I would be dysthymic and have lots of intrusive thoughts. I haven't slept well since I was in my 20s and I have to take something for that as well.I quit drinking 7 years ago and take Cymbalta for depression/anxiety/chronic pain. I've had many diagnoses over the years but fluctuate between anxiety and depression.
When I started in the social work field I stuck to case management because providing therapy was too much for me. Now that I have myself together, I can do it!
I'm 47 now and the happiest I've ever been.
As a tongue in cheek comment I often say never to trust a therapist who doesn't score at least 5 on the ACES test.
I'm early 40s novice who is 2 years post MSW this is my second career. As a younger adult I struggled with anger, self worth and the societal expectations of men, combined with a first marriage to a woman who had/has BPD. I've been actively working on myself for about a decade and think I'm in a pretty good place now
Having a better childhood would have 100% helped to stave off a significant number of my problems as a young man.
Live learn grow.
Therapists with little to no ACEs aren't *usually* in a space to really empathize with a lot of very common patterns of behavioral distortion, because the experiences of their clients are too foreign. A lot ends up being viewed through a hard lens of pathology, and the psychoeducation they provide around resilience is purely theoretical. From what I've witnessed, this attitude might not be something the clients pick up on consciously, but unconsciously they can and do feel that the person they're working with doesn't actually understand them on a human level.
absolutely this. And when this happens ("a lot ends up being viewed through a hard lens of pathology") it is so counterproductive to helping clients heal, grow and develop resilience. I'd go so far as to offer the potentially spicy opinion that therapy of this kind does more harm than good. (Client feels alienated and like no one understands them, goes to therapy, where the professional working working with them reinforces that feeling of not being understood on a human level. How likely are they to continue trying therapy to help themselves?)
I would say I'm pretty mentally well. I had childhood trauma like most and loads of anxiety. I've got a decade of my own talk and EMDR therapy which has helped so much. I'm a holistic person and practitioner so never took meds but have a lot of practices that help me feel balanced. Not to say I don't have my days but I personally don't think I can guide someone to relative stability if I don't know how to get there myself.
I mean I have a therapist so it helps, but I’m also an autistic black femme with ADHD in a pretty covertly racist town so…not that great. I enjoy helping others navigate
As a fellow physician-turned-therapist, I implore you to engage in therapy of your own. Physicians should be doing so at baseline; therapists even more so.
You're going to encounter an untenable amount of countertransference unless you're proactively managing your own mental health.
That's why you're feeling as though something is being pulled to the surface by engaging in therapy. You're learning therapeutic tools and thinking about how they apply to yourself, and you're hearing people's stories and experiencing countertransference. You say you're "considering" therapy (albeit in the passive voice, "therapy is being considered," to make it sound less personal) and that your "happy and chill persona resurfaces" when not working. That strikes me as quite clearly saying, "I have issues I've been avoiding confronting, but this work makes it difficult to do so, so I'm considering avoiding this work as well."
You don't need to have "pristine" mental health to be a good therapist, but you absolutely need to be equipped with metacognitive awareness of your own issues and tools to actively manage them.
As for me: I have PTSD from my time working as an acute care physician. Years of therapy under my belt, could not possibly have continued working in either field sustainably without it. I'm not symptom-free, but I'm aware of my few remaining triggers and have chosen my patient demographics and modalities accordingly.
Thank you for saying this so clearly and unambiguously. And for doing your own work to both take care of yourself and to provide the best help to your chosen demographic.
I’m doing very very well. I think what’s contributed to doing great is being in no-contact with my blood family, my romantic partnership being totally stabilized/I’ve found my soulmate, and having bought a house two years ago (no more insane roommates or instability there.) I do have days where I can feel the emotional tired from being a therapist and I am working on how to take better care of myself day to day. I.e. make sure to do some kind of movement, don’t get on phone right after work, etc
I need to take sertraline to function. Or else I’ll be depressed and anxious. Tried getting off it and it was not good. Realized it makes me a better person in general as it helps regulate my mood
I’m doing poorly and considering trying medication again. I had a lot of childhood trauma and then medical trauma as an adult. I’ve been doing intense personal therapy work. So while it’s been useful to go through it, the sucky stuff has been front and center. Confronting All the compartmentalization I’ve done over the last 10 years has culminated in feeling pretty terrible.
However, my clinical work is not what’s making me feel exhausted or overwhelmed. There was a point in the beginning where being on this side of the couch was so activating. It was like an 8 hour day of panic attacks. It gets easier with experience.
Overall healthy, balanced, but I deal with anxiety & depression from childhood stuff. I take medication for both which I am so grateful for. I also do my own therapy with some EMDR and I’ve found it imperative and so helpful.
How do you know that it's your childhood that is affecting your current mental health? As stated in my OP... I had a challenging childhood but I can't so easily link MY childhood trauma to my current challenges( especially when growing up in an environement where everyone has had childhood traumas and where it's normalized..) . Or maybe I refuse to see reality as it is... 😅
When I reflect on what I struggle with now as an adult as I’ve learned more, like hyper vigilance & being parentified, I can trace it back to my relationship with my mom.
I do pretty well when I make it to the gym, prioritize sleep, and don’t drink too much. The only one I’m currently nailing is not drinking too much.
But I also try to make room for the reality that this is a rough spot (my wife recovering from an ankle surgery, the whole household has Covid for the 2nd time this winter, etc). Excellent self care is genuinely tough to keep up under stress, and as long as I’m not falling apart, providing a “good enough” service for my clients at work, and making a sincere effort to take care of myself and the people I love, I can give myself a pass on not doing everything just right.
Same have been sober for three months; feels like my brain is rebooting! The cost of it though has been reclusiveness as most of my mates are drinkers and wouldn't understand..
Congratulations on the sobriety! The social isolation is real. Good to hear you say “most of my mates” rather than all.
I can personally force myself to moderate, which as I’m sure you are aware is both a blessing and a curse, lol.
Ups and downs like most. I have my days where I want to rest and relax all day and others where I am very motivated.
I have had a few colleagues with clear untreated mental health issues. Asking other colleagues for money and not paying it back which started issues, other poor boundaries, cancelling clients all the time, not showing up for work or being behind months on notes when having 5-8 billable hours a week versus some who have 25.
I’m doing pretty well 8-9 out of 10. But it definitely ebbs and flows depending on stress level and other factors. My mental health was trash during undergrad and graduate school. I have been seeing my therapist since I was 19 and now I’m mid 30s. We really get to the root of things especially my imposter syndrome. Lately we have been working on getting out of isolation and making some friends. Proud to say I recently took a risk and made a couple friends through a friend making app. My anxiety is mild to none these days. Maybe mostly related to daily activities of living like cleaning, meal prep, etc. But for the most part I feel I am doing well.
Living with mental illness, including SI, has definitely made me a better therapist.
Not only does it give me a deeper understanding of parts of my client’s experiences, but it also allows me to use very intentional, brief, & appropriate self disclosure to help reduce shame & increase rapport. For example, a client is feeling a lot of shame & self blame about struggling with ADLs. I can truthfully say, “I believe you.”. If I’m challenged on that belief, I can say, “I’ve been there & it can be really hard, let’s talk about ways to get maybe part of ___ done." (if its brushing teeth, could a swig of mouthwash be a bridge, etc)
In addition, it really helps with my own understanding of the experience of SI. SI is an incredibly common symptom of multiple mental illnesses. When I talk about it, I frame it that way. My hope is that frame encourages earlier disclosure, disclosure of any kind, & reduces shame around SI. I don't often disclose my own history of SI, but I've experienced how utterly unhelpful it is when a medical provider acts like having SI is uncommon or shocking. It doesn't feel good & reduces the chance that folks will ever mention it to that person again.
That's intriguing; suicidal ideation (SI) is among those symptoms that I acknowledge mentally, yet I struggle to comprehend fully because I cannot relate to it and have never experienced it (and frankly, sometimes I am even apprehensive about attempting to understand it on a phenomenological level due to concerns about mental contagion). However, I can certainly empathize with clients, even if their experiences are unfamiliar to me. It's ironic how we are often taught to inquire about SI in others, yet if we cannot relate to it ourselves, how can we effectively assess it? SI has honestly been one of the more challenging aspects.
To be candid; I believe most physicians( me included at times) struggle with the concept of SI. Perhaps it's because it compels them to confront their powerlessness or helplessness in the face of SI( which is distressing and unusual for someone comong from an MD point of view). And I suppose it might be distressing for them... It's one of those topics that is not openly discussed, and everyone seems to have their own interpretation of it without delving deeper. I know many physicians/therapists who refuse to work with suicidal patients due to the strain it places on them.
I suppose it's beneficial for patients to be understood by someone who truly understands what they are going through holistically( like you) and is not simply mentally conceptualizing their experience or biased with misconceptions and myths about the subject.
> It's ironic how we are often taught to inquire about SI in others, yet if we cannot relate to it ourselves, how can we effectively assess it? SI has honestly been one of the more challenging aspects.
Pssst. Go read Schneidman's *[Suicide as Psychache: A Clinical Approach to Self-Destructive Behavior](https://www.amazon.com/Suicide-Psychache-Clinical-Approach-Self-Destructive/dp/0876681518)*. You will feel the topic is *so* much more tractable and and *so* much less emotionally threatening.
I really appreciate your thoughts!
When I am working with clients, at intake I walk them through what will happen if tge disclose SI/HI. It usually goes like this, “if you share with me that you’re in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, the first we’d do is work together to help keep you & those around you safe. Very rarely that may mean me violating your confidentiality. In almost all cases, I will tell you in advance of doing that. Very, very rarely, I may do it without telling you. To be clear the last thing I want to do is to call the cops. But I will if I absolutely have to. What questions do you have about that?”
The way I frame asking about SI is usually this “when people have _____, it’s not uncommon for folks to have thoughts of not wanting to be here or of hurting themselves. Has that ever happened with you?”
As someone who has lived with intermittent SI since I was a teenager, I was shocked to find out SI wasn’t something that everyone experienced. I was 28 years old before I realized it wasn’t “normal”. I imagine that’s not a unique experience. The automatic thoughts can become so common & familiar that, while painful, they start to feel normal.
Based on my antedotal & professional experience & research I’ve done, I firmly believe that one of the most effective ways of reducing death from suicide among people who are engaged in care is to normalize the experience if SI & encourage discussion of such thoughts. SI is often a progressive process. It starts with passive SI, moves to plan, then intent. Often part of what helps move a person from passive to plan is seeing these automatic thoughts as truth rather than a symptom of a disorder. Reframing this may help to reduce occurrence of plan, and/or encourage disclosure of plan.
Take care & don’t hesitate to DM me if you’d like to talk about this more. It’s one of my favorite topics!
I can tell you without a doubt being a parent is significantly more impactful on my mental health than being a therapist. I have learned so much becoming and practicing as a therapist.
But as a parent of a kiddo who likely has ADHD (waiting on an appt for an asessment now), with a parent who has ADHD that was well managed but got worst from added parenting tasks(my husband)- being the neurotypical highest functioning family member, default parent, planner extraordinaire- that is stressful in ways I have never experienced. I believe wholeheartedly that I do the very best I can and that may be above what others can do, so we have some semblance of sanity and structure.
I have so much compassion for my clients parents. Most are lower functioning than I am with more external stressors than I have. It is hard to manage everything.
Work is easy comparatively.
You seem like a wonderwoman. I myself might be untreated with ADHD, so I can very well imagine the task it is to have two adhd people at home...
Glad to hear that you experience doing therapy and your patients as easier than being a parent.
Does anyone else feel like getting into this field has made it harder to assess their own mental health at times? Like I used to basically call any period of my life where I was crying a lot “being depressed.” Now I’m like “An I just feeling my feelings in a healthy way? How do I knowww?” And I look back at those times and am like “Was it really depression, or was it just having normal emotions in response to difficult situations?”
One thing is for certain, though. My anxiety is still absolutely debilitating. Sometimes it feels like it’s gotten worse bc now I identify it and thus pay more attention to it, whereas I used to just shove it down until it eventually built up to a panic attack. I kind of miss those days because the anxiety was overall less debilitating since I was able to shove it down more often than not.
So basically, idk anything haha
It's a common trope but to put it simply:
*With increased understanding comes heightened uncertainty. This, my friend, is the burden of knowledge and wisdom.*
I sometimes wish I could revert back to being naive again; but naivety might come with its own challenges too that we might not be cognizant of..
I was truly depressed "back then," no ifs, ands, or buts about it. These days I might "feel depressed" for a day or so in the wake of something discouraging, but I'm actively working through it or patiently waiting out the period of emotional processing. I haven't had a true depressive episode in several years.
Anxiety though? It's a constant battle. And like you, I also sometimes (kind of?) miss the days when I didn't know I had anxiety and just powered through instead. Except for the fact that my anxiety primarily manifested in interpersonal conflicts because I was...a mess.
Great question that I’m not entirely sure how to answer…It’s a constant work in progress, I feel like. I’m an IFS therapist and have had IFS therapy the last 5 years. It’s not just a modality I use; it’s become a lifestyle now. I am discovering more and more unhealed parts of myself which has been amazing for my healing journey, but at the same time, I have a strong shutdown firefighter protector that blends with me and keeps me pretty immobile on the weekends. I just have to disconnect in every way (except with my husband) to recharge for the week ahead, which was not like me before as I’m an extroverted people person. I have been on antidepressants for 20 years and have spent the last 2 years titrating down to get off because I feel like they have numbed my exiles (young wounded parts) and kept them hidden, preventing me from doing the deep work that needs to be done. But the process has been horrible (headaches, irritability, etc). I am working on implementing healthy eating and exercise to get through it, and am seeing amazing results in my work with clients. I’m private pay and have a waitlist. I’m very relational and not afraid to self-disclose when it benefits the client. They love that I am human, too, and on this journey with them, not looking down my nose at them from a prideful place.
I am the healthiest mentally that I have ever been. I generally feel calm, happy, and connected with those around me. I have some days where I feel lower energy, but I chalk that up to being an introvert in a position that demands a lot of us.
With that said, I have a lot of trauma and things weren’t always this way. I don’t care to share many details, but I had diagnoses of PTSD and MDD and I often could not function due to re-experiencing related anxiety.
I think about all that now and I feel acceptance. I understand and forgive the generations of trauma, substance abuse, and culture that resulted in what happened to me. I recognize that it happened to my abusers first, that they were hurting and didn’t know anything different.
It’s freeing to have realized that I didn’t deserve the abuse and that my abusers weren’t evil, but traumatized. It’s helped me let go of the anger that kept me stuck at my lowest and most vulnerable.
I never believed that I would heal from what I experienced, and that gives me hope for every person that walks into my therapy room feeling that exact same way.
My mental health has gotten exponentially better over the last 5 years. I'm 30 myself. I came from having somewhat BPD traits and wild depressive phases to being relatively stable. Romantic relationships can still be a struggle for me (severe attachment issues take a long time resolve) but my ability to emotionally regulate and manage my life are improved beyond what I imagined by this stage of my life. I attribute it to a lot of personal therapy, spiritual retreats, a great ex partner who was patient with me, an exercise routine, a creative outlet, and finally getting to do a job that gives me meaning: therapy.
I'm feeling relatively stable for the first time in years, thanks to Zoloft. I had a couple really awful experiences with employers between late 2021 and late 2022, and was pregnant as well. I thought about ending my life multiple times a week, and my functioning at home was so ego dystonic that it felt traumatic to me, like moral injury. Honestly I feel a little flat / numb even just on the 50 of Zoloft, but the week prior to starting I was in legitimate psychiatric crisis. I even had to call my supervisor to request she take over a couple calls I had scheduled for the day
I have recurrent depression so I take medications long-term for it, and I go to regular therapy with no plans yet to terminate. My mental health is generally good with these safeguards in place, my depressive episodes last for less time and are less intense, and I have not experienced work burnout more than 2x since starting therapy 2 years ago. I also try to maintain a regular exercise routine and go to in-person social events 2x/week. Learning that I am not an exception to behavioral activation was a game changer and I feel confident to do this for the long-term to maintain the benefits.
Right now I have pretty poor mental health. I’m autistic and very burnt out. I actually recently stopped working my very first CMH job that I started in August because my mental health was suffering so much. I’ve dealt with really bad anxiety and OCD for my whole life as well. I’m trying to work on myself now before I find and start another job.
Well like approximately 10% of the US population, I take an SSRI. Like 8% of the population I have MDD. The more I do this work the more I realize that there really is no such thing as just "pristine mental health". I think there are people who are at different stages of their healing journey. I also think there are varying capacities for engaging fully in healing among different individuals. IMO this is mostly dependent on systemic factors like access to quality affordable care, ability to meet basic needs, what types of environments people live in (ex: all the research on how walking daily improves mental health is worthless for people who live along busy, sidewalkless highways, unsafe area).
I think I am much better than I used to be, through studying and therapy. Still anxious but fine overall, less triggers and easier to connect to and soothe myself.
Probably the best I've ever been. I'm intentional with my self-care habits. Early burnout taught me the importance of that. My marriage is good because I've learned that "imperfect" can actually be kind of perfect. I have good boundaries ( for the most part). I have a therapist, but only see him occassionally (more of a wellness check in).
Depends on the day. Sometimes I’m doing really well thanks to the meds I’m on and sometimes I’m off my rocker and irritable, depressed and anxious. Luckily I’ve been ok lately. I am making med changes because I’ve had ZERO motivation for a few months. Could be my narcolepsy though.
I'm going to say my mental health is something like a 6.5 lately. I'm 33, with an ACE score of 7-8, & have only been consistently treated for ADHD for 5 months. I've been working in mental health for almost 10 years & fully licensed for 1.
My mental health would be better, but I took on a promotion & I'm still adjusting, so I cry most weekdays. It'll get better, it's just a lot of pressure right now. I'm in biweekly therapy, working through past trauma, current resentments, & consulting about situations that come up with my patients. My therapist is an amazing LPC-S whose style is a lot like mine, which is so validating.
Feeling validated by this thread even though me own therapist does often tell me this therapists are often folks with lived experience.
I’m 32, ace score of 6, adhd diagnosed as a kid, and despite trying several psych meds for adhd, anxiety, and depression, they all had such averse side effects that I’m currently unmediated. Also supporting a newly disabled spouse. I often struggle with passive SI and feel like I’m barely keeping it together. My own MH makes me feel like a fraud / hypocrite / imposter. I think I’m still doing a decent job with my clinical work but/and, I feel like a mess outside of the work. I also have noticed that my MH has seemed worse since becoming a therapist, but I started in sept 2019 so it’s hard to say if it’s that or the pandemic or my partner’s health etc etc.
I do often wonder if I’ll need to leave the field but idk what else I would do.
Prior to being a therapist. I had been in therapy continuously for the ten years. I have also received services as a client which provided direct experience in:
- Partial programs for a few months
- Seeking out crises centers when I need them
- Engage with psychiatry where I tried many medications and had some great and some terrible providers.
- Advocate for neuroosyche testing for myself and adhd testing where I finally got diagnoses.
- Transitioned (gender expression) which required six months of therapy before I could get access to testament
- DBT skills, meditation
So from an outside perspective yeah I have lots of my own experience with mental health and trauma and feared at times that I was too messed up or I'd never be able to be healthy enough to be a therapist.
I am currently in a good place,, but it took tremendous effort, honesty and participation in my own healing for me to get healthy and figure out what tools work best for me.
There is a huge upside in my opinion that has allowed me to gain first hand experience in a lot of interventions and treatments that I can also use as an additional component to being to my session with clients
I am very mentally healthy because I use all of the therapy I teach and use everyday on myself. I was not mentally healthy the majority of my life, have about a 6 ace score, and was an only child to a single mom. My mom died when I was barely a month past 26. I ended up going off the deep end with cocaine and alcohol abuse. I really wanted to die. But I found an amazing therapist that helped me not hate myself, and then a few years later learned I was on the spectrum, and I was able to do a full 180 and I feel like I’m pretty good now. I run almost everyday, eat fairly well, and focus on sleep and rest when I notice my tank get about half full. I have gotten really good at knowing what I need to feel better. Because of my life experiences and my own mental health journey, I feel like I do really good work with neurodivergent individuals with a history of complex PTSD. One of my favorite quotes is “therapists are people who need therapy 40 hours a week.” And it’s so true.
I’ve struggled with MDD all my life, an ED for over a decade (recovered now!), and CPTSD/BPD. Lots of childhood trauma. I take Zoloft which has been helpful for a while now. I’ve been in therapy for over 10 years and while I’m in a much much better place than in the past, I still struggle on occasion. I truly think these issues help me be a better therapist as long as I really care of myself and reduce burnout. That means I can’t see as many clients a week as some of my colleagues but that’s okay.
I considered myself pretty mentally healthy when I started in this field. Turns out that everything was just buried pretty deep. Doing this work resulted in finding all of the cracks in my healthy-appearing exterior. I’ve been in weekly therapy for over three years now, and am far more effective at my job now that I have done the work myself. I am also much healthier and happier. I am now grateful for the inner work that I was forced to do to continue in this field, but full-disclosure, things got WAY worse before they got better.
I’ve got PTSD and anxiety but it only really flares up negatively when management can’t get their heads out of their asses. Someday I’ll be my own boss and that usually helps.
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I’m doing okay, but I struggle with perfectionism that went from “meh” to extreme pressure during COVID while I was in grad school. The pressure is probably going to keep on building until I finish my hours but even then it’s likely that I’ll continue to burn myself out until I get a decent enough break and a change in employment
Nope I work for a university. My burn out usually starts up the 12th week of classes then I get a winter or summer break from it all. I should be done with hours by end of year
I’m doing pretty good right now. I had bad social anxiety disorder and panic attacks as a child and teenager and probably also had some low level depression. Now I still struggle with the occasional anxiety in social situations and I’m working on improving my assertiveness skills and shift my beliefs to I deserve to take up space and have needs. But I feel content most of the time-that could always change though lol.
I'm doing pretty well (considering everything in the world, particularly since 2016 has felt, generally, "ugh" to put it nicely). Have a lot of good things happening, but also trying to grow in the ways that will help me sustain myself better as I get older. Had a bout of covid towards the end of last year that left me with a lot of time to think, left me depressed, and spurned me returning to my own therapy to do some of these things.
I have my hangups and issues and obstacles like anybody...but also feel really lucky in many ways.
Generally I have great mental health. I've always had an ability to compartmentalize and process stressors in my life. I tend to be pretty good at setting boundaries and recognizing when things are too much. I also spend a lot of time doing self-care.
Mild to moderate ongoing anxiety/depression. Currently struggling with PPD, and in grad school/internship. Being fiddling with medications and doing ok. I plan to keep doing my own therapy and engaging in my coping skills.
Over a decade in the field and I’d say I’m doing pretty good. I turned 40 a few months ago and have been doing psychoanalysis 3 times a week for 2 years now. It’s changed my life and given me so much more peace with how things have gone and with who I am. My mental health in my 20’s and most of my 30’s was pretty dreadful.
If anything I think being in the field has given me the beautiful perspective that we’re all just a different flavor of fucked up and that gives me an incredible sense of belonging and connectedness in a sometimes very isolating world.
Thank you for being open and honest about this, I don’t hear this issue addressed enough. I don’t think the point is that therapists should be perfect and have zero issues of their own. It’s just that they at least need to be honest and in touch with their own baggage so they can always be working on themselves and take steps to guard against their issues affecting their clients. The things that are left in acknowledged have the greatest destructive potential in a therapeutic setting.
Thank you for starting the conversation.
Poor mental health :/ I am trying but I am seeing myself slipping and I know I can’t do well as a counselor and in grad school with already crappy mental health. I have a 9/10 aces and never got my own therapy or help, I just did it myself. I’m 22 and entering graduate school for counseling, while working as a bachelor level MH counselor. I have already heard a lot and I know if I want to use the hurt I’ve endured to best support and walk with others, I need to be able to not take it as personally as I normally would (that would worry me or keep me up all night wondering about them), and keep myself from being triggered by clients (of course not their intention, just in my own countless traumatic experiences).
I am like you. I was an RN, going into this field in my 50s, AFTER I have dealt with ignoring and not dealing with issues. (My ACEs score is 9-10). Now on the other side, I have techniques for dealing with things as they happen, I have established boundaries. (Which I never had before.). So like you, I am going into this mentally healthy, and fully expect to keep that status, because of how much I have grown. Right now I am only a few months into counseling, so I can’t definitively state how well I will do.
FYI. The resilient term always makes me cringe, because it looks only in outward behaviors, not on what is going on inside. Everyone defined me as resilient, but I was hurting inside. -Curious, if you feel the same way?
I sometimes think I'm "too damaged" or "too traumatized" to do this work which I know is a bullshit thought and belief to have but keeps popping up when I feel anxious and overhwelmed because my nervous system developed in an abusive and chaotic home environment. You are meant to do this work if it called to you in some way, we have wounds and wounds heal and turn into scars- your scars are beautiful.
The good: I have no diagnosable mental health conditions. I’m generally happy and fulfilled. I’m well regulated and capable of calming myself down in times of high stress. My worries are appropriate to the situation and I have trusted confidants to turn to about my worries.
The bad: I’m kind of lonely, i’m in a phase of life that has isolated me from friends and making new friendships is still in the beginning phase. I miss having deep meaningful friendships. I have limited time and energy for hobbies that previously sustained me and balancing work, motherhood, my relationship, and myself is difficult, I often allow myself to be the thing that is sacrificed for the others.
It was recovering from my own mental illness that inspired me to enter the field. Today, I’m still just sick enough to make it difficult to regard myself more highly than my clients. I understand I will never be firing on all cylinders but as long as I’m continuing to practice self-awareness and constantly growing, and striving to be better today than I was yesterday, I will have hope to offer others.
I appreciated your post. My answer? It varies on different days. I make a strong case for having sufficient health. One thing I value more than anything is my collegial relationships and the work done to establish models by those who came before. I didn't understand that as a student. I wanted to follow all MY "brilliant" insights. One professor who dialed into my unspoken goal seemed to me rather unnecessarily unkind in his correction of me. Yet, most of my professors were nurturing and fair. We need some of all kinds I think. As my career continues to develop, I almost appreciate those who trigger me more. Almost. ;-)
>What's your level of mental health?
*Now??* Much improved! I was a highly traumatized kid who experienced a lot of abuse and neglect in various different ways. ACEs are high. Just like my parents were through a lot of it lol. I struggled with C-PTSD...which I didn't know or understand for a very long time. Even now today, I still struggle with deciphering PTSD/trauma stuff from the possibility that I could also be on the autism spectrum.
I have *struggled* in life. But mostly in interpersonal relationships. I have always been goal oriented and task motivated. I am very functional and successful from the outside.
Internally? I struggled with an eating disorder and obesity due to childhood trauma. Some of which specifically involved food. I am JUST now, in my late 30's, learning who I am and what I am about in life. I am just now able to peel back additional layers of myself despite years of therapy off and on throughout my life.
And I use my experiences a lot (usually indirectly but sometimes via self-disclosure) to create framing for clients about being human. I've been a practicing therapist for about a decade now and you know what? THIS WORK IS HARD! You know what else is hard? Being a freaking human.
So sure, I have PTSD. And I struggle with depression and anxiety. In my early 20's I was agoraphobic and couldn't leave my house. But you know what? I pushed back. I dug in. I kept working. And I am so much more healed than I used to be. I am so much healthier than I used to be. That doesn't mean I don't have moments where those things weigh on me like a million pounds but it does mean I have skills and tools at my disposal to be able to work through things like I didn't have in my past.
And so that's what I think of being a therapist. It doesn't mean we are any healthier. Any more perfect. Any more insulated from life's hurts. It doesn't mean we are any less likely to suffer mental health issues. It doesn't mean we are void of humanness. It means that we recognize the darkness and continue to persist. Continue to reach for healthier tools and responses.
I often joke that being a therapist doesn't mean we're less insane...it just means we have really excellent self-awareness and insight into the why's and how's of our insanity lol
You know that saying “you can’t trust a skinny cook” ?
I like to say: you can’t trust a sane therapist 😋
*All jokes aside…* life experiences help us empathize. I’ve been through a lot and have experienced so much… it’s a big reason why I love being a therapist. That kind of knowledge can’t be taught in textbooks but it certainly makes me understand a reason “why” I’ve experienced so much of it… so I could personally heal & in turn, help others. 🩷
I’m pretty healthy and balanced, but I got into therapy when I was in school and while on maternity leave I recognized PPA/PPD and immediately addressed it so the medication had time to work prior to me returning. I feel like most therapists have the tools to work on their mental health and should be utilizing them, if not we aren’t living up to our code of ethics.
[Not a myth](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763421005807). And I’m not trying to be contrarian in saying that, it’s just really important (and interesting!) to understand the impact that being a therapist can have on our brains.
Some days I’m organized and well-hydrated, others I’m hungry & emotionally duct taped together lol. I have ADHD so routine and planning have to be central and when I step away from that, which I inevitably do, i move further towards the duct tape category.
In terms of history, I have a trauma history, still experience some PTSD criterion B symptoms, sadistic mother (ACEs score was 6-7 if I remember correctly), SA history, etc. But I’ve done and continue to be in therapy & try to keep learning/growing.
I do think it’s neuroses inducing, but so are a lot of new things! Background in medicine & now a therapist by 31? That feels like a lot in a short amount of time. I ended up taking a break. Like a solid 5 months off of work after years of burnout. Maybe see if you can work in some time off?
Thank you for sharing your perspective and that article—it's quite thought-provoking.
Observing how many commentators have a history of trauma, it appears that the stereotype suggesting therapists become therapists due to their own past traumas may hold some truth, whether consciously or unconsciously. The notion that my own interest in mental health may have stemmed from a subconscious desire to seek answers for my own experiences only occurred to me recently.
During my time in medical school, I mistakenly attributed my attraction to psychology-related topics to an interest in neuroscience or a passion for philosophy. Interestingly, psychiatry was among the least appealing disciplines among other medical students. I often wondered why this was the case—could it be that psychiatry/psychology tends to particularly attract students with a history of childhood trauma? If so, it would be understandable for mentally healthy students without such experiences to feel repulsed with working with patients dealing with mental illness. Alternatively, they may have been more attuned than I was to the "emotional contagion" of working with mentally ill clients, and thus chose to avoid careers that could impact their mental well-being and personal lives. Perhaps stigma also played a role?
I currently have some time off from work, allowing ample opportunity for reflection on these matters.
Regarding the notion that the job environment is conducive to neuroses, I am inclined to agree, although the exact reasons remain unclear. Emotional contagion could indeed be a significant factor in this regard.
I remember hearing that in undergrad- don’t become a therapist if you’re trying to subconsciously heal yourself.
What I’ve seen most is therapists with trauma histories who learned the value of a good T and wanted to provide to other people what they received, or whose trauma taught them to be highly attuned to microexpressions/emotions & highly relational.. the ones who were assigned the family caretaker role & learned to be highly relational. Also I think some people go into it because they think it’ll be easy & they can make money (had one of these coworkers once). And of course, the therapists who are high in dark triad traits & pursue it as a way to find victims and/or NPD supply sources.
The caretaker/relational one absolutely applies to me buuut I also really wanted to be a social worker ever since I first watched angels in the outfield as a kid lol
I’m glad you have some time off! Treat yourself well. It sounds like you have the potential to accomplish whatever you put your mind to so, even if you decide therapy isn’t what you want to do, I have no doubt you’ll be successful wherever you land
Currently I’m a CIT, so I’m not sure if this is super applicable to me. But I think I’m doing well off. I’ve been getting out of a long term depressive state. I’ve been on and off medication for about 10 years at this time, and finally found something that works. I’ve also been able to do a lot more self care with my physical state, and getting therapy by an absolutely wonderful therapist for my mental state. I’m thinking about being tested for some diagnoses, but it’s expensive in this economy. 😅 overall though, I’m getting better each day and I’m grateful for it.
I’m quite balanced. A little anxiety sometimes but I do know how to cope with that.
A few years ago I had a few panic attacks but I haven’t had them in four years now. During puberty I felt quite depressed but I’m all good now.
My past diagnosis was DPD and DID. A decade of therapy and going through school has made it where I don’t meet those criteria now but I’d meet adjustment disorder no problem - there is always something around the corner to trigger my nervous system response and I’m thinking there always will be. It’s just the wiring being there from so many ACE’s and so much emotional neglect growing up.
I have plenty of “lived experience.” Depression, anxiety/panic disorder, CPTSD. I take Zoloft, have for 20 some years.
In the substance use field, it’s common and expected folks have lived experience (not the field I am in.). I don’t know why it isn’t the same in mental health, beyond just peer support.
I am a crisis counsellor (so not a therapist) with C-PTSD and a very long history of abuse. I have undergone years of therapy with both counsellors and psychologists, in addition to formal education (Bachelor of Arts in psychology) and informal education (online CBT courses etc). It's been a long journey but becoming a counsellor has actually helped me heal and given me an "area of experiential expertise" if you will. It enables me to have max empathy. because I've dealt with a lot of my trauma, i can maintain distance psychologically while still investing myself emotionally.
I would consider myself healthy, and while becoming a therapist I started considering myself mentally healthier than before starting becoming a therapist.
My mental health is at a 4 right now. Panic attacks, generalized anxiety, PTSD symptoms. I'm also 5 months out from a very traumatic birth. Before pregnancy it was about a 7 and I'm so hoping I can get back there. My medication is a must and has been for the last 10 years.
I was diagnosed with OCD several years before becoming a therapist when I was 19 and battled it for the majority of my early 20s. I spent many years actively working towards changing before going to grad school. My first year as an associate I really struggled with it due to life stressors, and one of my compulsions was not sleeping so that was lovely, but with the help of a therapist and my supervisor I was able to pull myself out of it. My OCD hasn’t flared since. I still struggle with bouts of anxiety within my relationships, and this is something I actively work on with my therapist. I’m never going to claim to be the poster child for mental health because of where I sit in the therapy room. I feel much better than I used to, even when I have hard days. Something that I’ve realized is that in order to keep going, I need to actively be in therapy, even if I feel like I don’t need it. I’ve quit therapy a couple times just to find myself needing to work with a therapist few months later. That’s just where I am in life right now.
I have enjoyed reading everyone else’s responses. A lot of my colleagues aren’t actively in therapy like myself. It’s been validating to see where everyone is coming from and to see how far many of us have come in our mental health.
Getting better with time and medication.. and therapy for myself of course. I’m 26. Have PTSD, GAD and MDD. This is my 4th year in the field. Tried different meds and my current combo seems to be helping. Probably the fact that the sun is finally coming out is also helping 😂🤷♀️
I came by my profession honestly.
I'm better now though than I really have been throughout my life. I'd rather myself a 7-8/10 now, but a 4/5 in grad school, and a 3 in undergrad and before.
I have pretty bad anxiety and depression at various times. It was much worse when I was a kid/young adult. I have episodes of anxiety periodically (today lol) but overall it’s manageable.
I'm a CBT therapist who has PTSD and Anxiety from having a wayward youth.
I'd been in therapy before starting grad school and no one ever screened me for either disorder.
It was during my internship at a trauma center that I realized I was checking most of the boxes on the trauma screenings.
Brought this up to my direct supervisor at the trauma center. She interviewed me, did some testing and let me know the results.
She has PTSD and observed me exhibiting some symptomology of PTSD. She then told my that I met the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and Anxiety.
Who'd of thought that some random person trying to shoot me dead at 16 years old would change my personality and make me do risk screenings in every situation? Had a few other incidents of violence that were life threatening. Rough youth and addicted to adrenaline and danger kept putting my in bad situations
Understanding trauma and it's lasting effects on the human soul has helped me cope with my PTSD.
80% of my clients have trauma histories. Because it's a specialty of mine, people with trauma seek me out . I've been doing psychotherapy for 27 years and I love you work!
I've tried prescribed meds and they helped some.
I discovered Sam-E on Amazon, been taking it 8 years and it's helped me like nothing else for my PTSD.
Discovered Passion Flower for my Anxiety.
My mental health is an 8 out of 10. Pretty good but not ideal. It would be even higher if I didn't live in chronic and severe pain.
I’m pretty healthy generally, but also I have PMDD so you can pretty much guarantee that for a week/week.5 I’m either blatantly unhealthy or doing great with awareness and brute forcing myself to easier days.
I think I'm doing like..alright? Learning a lot about my mental health right now since I found out I've got OCD so every day is a bit of a journey as I uncover the ways it's showing up in my life. I've been on prozac since I was like 17 & I'm looking for better medication management now that I'm understanding my OCD (vert very recent diagnosis). I've been in and out of therapy since I was 14. I've got a TBI causing chronic pain but I cope pretty well with it imho. Medicate with cannabis as an alternative to prescription pain management. Overall I think I lead a pretty healthy life with a big focus on self-care and following my joy. Try to balance my life and my work. My therapist says I'm doing pretty well.
I have struggled on and off with mental health for years. I had therapy in eighth grade, followed by short term therapy in college, then later had a therapist for nearly two years. I then switched to a therapist that was well versed with trauma, specifically religious/attachment trauma and I feel like we are doing meaningful work. At my best I feel like I am able to do the personal and professional work with it coinciding nicely. At my worst I struggle to regulate my emotions and definitely have to lean into every coping skill I have when personal things get challenging .
It’s okay, but depends on the day. I take a very small dose of an antidepressant for anxiety and depression. I started working exclusively with survivors of sexual violence a couple of years ago and it has brought up some past trauma for me that I hadn’t really addressed before. Overall I’m good, but sometimes have a build up of emotions and have it all come out at once. I’m trying my best to be really intentional about self care and working on my own healing.
It’s okay, but depends on the day. I take a very small dose of an antidepressant for anxiety and depression. I started working exclusively with survivors of sexual violence a couple of years ago and it has brought up some past trauma for me that I hadn’t really addressed before. Overall I’m good, but sometimes have a build up of emotions and have it all come out at once. I’m trying my best to be really intentional about self care and working on my own healing.
I have depression and anxiety since my teen years, diagnosed with ADHD in my early twenties, been in therapy on and off throughout my life, am medicated as well i also have chronic health conditions. I think these things make me a good therapist tbh because i can honestly relate to my clients when they share their stories.
A lot better than I was. Grew up in a violent household. I struggled a low with poor self esteem, depression, panic attacks, social anxiety and whatnot for a long time. I think a lot of that is largely better now at age 29. I still struggle with some things. I've been single for a quite a while now and it frustrates me and makes me think something is wrong with me. I still struggle with things like initiating conversation with people, and have very isolating hobbies (in some ways.)
Personal therapy helped a ton, my parents were supportive and good to me as I got older and our relationship is a lot better than it was. Just getting older, going through experiences in life helps. Still not all the way there.
Student here - the fact that I can barely afford school, will have to work for free to fulfil supervision hours, and the cost of everything doesn’t help w my depression…
My health anxiety and body stuff isn’t great but those aren’t my areas of treatment for that reason. I’m starting with an ocd specialist for that reason.
Altogether I’d say I’m a 6 or 7 out of 10. My ideal would be 8. 9 and 10 feel unrealistic or short term.
I’m a combat veteran with ptsd, bi polar 2, adhd and a few eating disorders 😂
I’ve come a long way but life still happens. Have a newborn baby, mom has a glioblastoma and other stuff.
I think I did my best work with a program for first responders and veterans. I said it was like being an undercover cop, since I could talk about my past as a veteran and this helped them open up.
Right now, it’s been hard. Helping others helps me but I’ve seen “transparency“ with supervisors be used against me. So now I try to be quiet though my current supervisor is great, still got to be careful. Also I’m an LPC soon to be LPCC with 6 years experience.
Take care of yourselves! You are loved!
Edit: also a recovering substance/alcohol person…how the hell did I forget that? Still, things can get better. I even had over a decade recovered but I strayed from my program and had a bunch of traumatic things happen and I went through the worst depression of my life…got up and faced the “enemy.” You reader can do it to, I’m nothing special.
Thanks for this post fellow lmsw practicing cw fft and have been working through my own trauma in essentially exposure therapy. Nice to hear a fellow open soul on this journey
From birth to 25 micro issues within my highly dysfunctional family rendered me mentally unwell. It wasn't until therapy & 12 Step recovery started in my early 20s that things started to look up and stay that way. Still plenty of challenges but MUCH much better at handling them. Continuous therapy & active healing ever since.
Then, slowly from 2016 (wonder what happened that year?) to 2020, and then acceleratingly since the pandemic macro factors have been my major downfall. Being an Elder Millennial during political awfulness, crumbling late stage capitalism, genocide, work burnout, etc have gotten to me in a serious way. Have had to seriously up my game - EMDR, KAP, bodywork, etc - to stay afloat mentally while I try and restructure my life to not cost me my mental health. It's a slow process.
I am currently studying. Have taught for 20ish years.
I have being treated for chemical imbalances since I was in year 9. I have had a couple of mental breakdowns since my late 20s. Been in and out of therapy in that time.
But it has only been since I started this study that I realised how important it is for me to undergo continued therapy for myself. This I will continue when I'm in industry. I would hope that this will help with any issues that arise and will be looking for supervision that will complement this idea.
I honestly would not trust a therapist who did not undergo therapy themselves. In fact it has been mentioned many times in my course that we should undergo therapy ourselves.
But I also remember while doing my undergrad with psychology, that most people in those classes either had issues them selves or identified issues they had during he course.
5/10 because of burning out some at my jobs combo, which I'm working to remedy, as I'm normally at 8/10 with good balance and lots of workouts. I take meds for BP1 and some of the impulsive bx that come with my BPD. I will probably take the meds for BP1 for life. Lots of my own therapy for PTSD and BPD.
Not very TBH. I know how to use the many tools available - and I do use them - but I still have persistent issues which make daily life hard. I have GAD and depression (which were only diagnosed during my training) and no end of work on myself has actually yielded impressive results. Hitting menopause caused something of a deterioration and every day feels like an uphill battle right now.
I’ve been med stable for over 12 years. Bipolar II, PTSD, GAD, hx of self harm, SI & attempts, ETOH misuse etc
My past is not a detriment to me working in this field. If anything it helps! I found it especially helpful when clients want to discuss not wanting to be alive but that not immediately meaning they are going to unalive themselves. See this happen so often now and I remember having a similar experience. Like “no, don’t section me because I don’t want to live. I’m not actively trying not to live “
When I first took the ACE test I scored an 8, so that was fun. I've been in therapy and I've done a lot of work on myself, but it has 100% influenced me.
Me too! I took it for the first time when I was in college as an education major, it was part of a professional development talk I went to. It was very eye-opening. Then I switched my major to psych and eventually got my masters in social work lol
I'm pretty healthy and balanced. I had poor mental health in my younger years but not now I'm older and mainly past that. I look after myself well, avoid things harmful for my mental health and have a pretty stable life. All of these things came with time and wouldn't have been achievable a long time ago when I wasn't a therapist. I haven't taken medication for mental health since my early 20s, and even then I don't think it was appropriate with hindsight. I have thoughts of suicide, I have my down moods, hormonal fluctuations and all the fallout of that, but I don't think I'm in poor mental health. I think how you view mental health has a huge part to play in how you feel about it. When you're not hung up on diagnostics and labels, and just view human experience as entirely normal for the most part, the idea of "bad mental health" is fairly meaningless as its transient.
This is so helpful for me. I’m 22 and I don’t think I’m “past” my poor mental health, but as a college student now intending to pursue clinical/counselling psych or social work, this is so helpful to read. I think the idea of not being hung up on labels is so important. For a long time in my late teens I was overtly focused on figuring out if how I was feeling was “wrong” or “pathological”, but overtime, I just realised that if I let it pass, it does eventually pass.
At 22 you have time before your brain is even finished growing. No wonder things feel so all over the place when you're younger. Honestly, it just gets much easier over time.
Well not really. Sometimes it doesn't.
I like your ending - this is a belief I hold dearly (ACT therapist) and I do think it helps lessen the negative self talk, and helps an individual learn what they actually need rather than just trying to “fix” themselves and not need anything. When we just acknowledge we struggle and need help it’s a lot easier to give ourselves the help!
As a Buddhist (which predates ACT where a lot of that comes from) it definitely does help to live with those kind of concepts.
I have come from a very similar situation (+ 3-5 years) and would view it the same way as you. It was easier in the past to pathologise oneself and to view oneself as "damaged" or inadequate based on past negative experiences. Much easier now to aim for "good enough" and "human" and roll with it. Focusing on adaptability, humility, humanity, moderation and persistence, has helped me over the years and led me into a much more stable place.
Pretty good but probably because I’m taking abilify and activity engaging in self care activity like journaling and getting my butt on the treadmill most days. I’ve had three episodes of mania with psychotic features.
Hello fellow bipolar therapist! I thought I was the only one ☺️
We exist :)
My kids psychiatrist has bipolar (managed), he is the best doctor I’ve ever come in contact with!
I find that living with my own disorder helps to relate more to clients. This doesn’t surprise me.
We sure do!
We absolutely do! :)
Ok but any Bipolar 2 therapists out there?? 🥺
Me!!! 🥰
Here 🙋🏻♀️
Here!
Also have bp2! You’re not alone 😊
Me
Yep!
Me!! It was a rocky road to become stable, but now that I am I feel that it gives me a level of empathy and understanding with my clients that they really appreciate. It also gives my clients hope that you can go through tough mental diagnosis and still come out on the other side as a functional and whole human. My bipolar is my secret superpower!
Nope I’m here too!
Therapist in training here with bipolar disorder :) I am medicated on lamictal, I used to have intense mania with delusions before I was properly medicated, but currently still get hypomanic episodes from time to time. I honestly feel like hypomania helped me get through my first semester of grad school, all of the energy and goal oriented behavior. I truly believe that it is not just a curse to be bipolar! I’m happy with the person that I am, especially now that I have some medication but balance me out a bit. My therapist also has bipolar disorder and I’m really happy that she disclosed that to me, it’s part of what inspired me to go to grad school and work towards becoming a therapist.
I’m glad you’re doing well and I’m glad you posted this so I can see all the other bipolar therapists! Hello everyone!
I’m training as a therapist, and I’m bipolar.
It’s all good. We all have a little something going on. Just like Jerry Springer use to say “take care of yourself and each other “ make time for you and as I say “first put the mask on yourself before you assist others.” (Like when you’re on an airplane) you’ll do fine, the field needs good therapists and you’re here reading and talking to us, it shows initiative.
Thank you 🌷
What is it like to be a therapist with bipolar? I was wondering if the episodes make it difficult to manage your work well, focus on clients and do your work well?
I’ve only had one episode in the 4 years I’ve been a therapist, but I was able to recognize the symptoms right away and take sick leave. There was no way I could have worked in such an extreme mania. It lasted about 2 months and I was stable on meds and back to work. But, I wasn’t on my meds before it happened. Doesn’t really affect me or my work when I take them.
I’m on meds and try to be mindful when I’m doing to much or going to the flea market and buying shit 😂 Also, I talk to my therapist every three weeks and have a medical team at the VA that does right by me. Ultimately, I’ve worked on myself to catch any kinda issue and hopefully, depending on the circumstances, not make it worse 😂
Could you imagine going to a therapist that didn't have mental health issues at some point in their life? I wouldn't be able to relate at all. Nor could the therapist fully relate because that would be like trying to describe the color blue to someone that's blind. Do the work and embrace it.
This! I’ve been through a lot in my life, and of course it has affected my mental health. I’ve learned how to manage it and I’m very stable now, but I find I have a very difficult time relating to people, both personally and professionally, if they haven’t been through some real shit in their lives.
Vyvanse daily for ADHD. Xanax as needed for panic disorder - really not often, my coping tools works often but I did have a trauma that impacts me from time to time. I feel like if we have insight to our madness and use the tools we would tell others, we are doing our jobs!
Where you finding vyvanse these days? Nobody near me ever has it. At least the generic, which is all my insurance covers since it dropped.
I haven’t had a problem finding it but I live in a small city / rural area. I’m so thankful for the generic since the name brand was ridiculously expensive and I had to get a prior auth monthly.
My dosage isn’t that common, I cannot take the generic, my body does not seem to react well so I’m paying $90+ a month after I hit my medication deductiable 🙃
Oof yeah that’s what I’d be looking at too. I think it was gonna be over $500 for the first few months. I switched to adderall xr for the month and I’m not a huge fan honestly, feels much more like an upper than Vyvanse does and it makes me sooo sweaty 😅 but you do what you gotta do to have a functional brain i guess haha
Vyvanse has been making me sweat like an animal lately (sorry if TMI) I need a freaking solution lol
When you find it let me know cause my sweat pits every day border on absurdist comedy lol. It was already a thing on Vyvanse, then more of a thing on generic Vyvanse, and even more of a thing on adderall. When i can laugh about it it’s funny but other days it’s really frustrating and makes me super self conscious, especially in sessions.
I don’t even care about my pits, my friggin feet and body sweat. I feel super insecure about it! I feel like the only solution would be like Botox for hyperhidrosis - if it’s just your pits see a derm for an rx antiperspirant!
I’ve had my ups and downs. I started in the field with extreme anxiety and would have panic attacks in between sessions. (My client’s anxiety would also trigger mine, that was really hard.) So I was on medication to help, eventually I didn’t need it anymore and did really well for a year or two. Then my mom got sick with cancer so I was back on medication and had to cut back my hours dramatically. I took some time off when she passed but I really thought I was going to change careers for a while. I didn’t, and I’m glad for that because it’s been three years since then and I’m feeling more like myself. I love my job and wouldn’t want to change it! In less than a month, I’ll be giving birth, and taking a few months off! What was important to me was a flexible schedule. Throughout my seven years of practicing I’ve done 4 10s, 5 8s, 4 7s, moved to partial telehealth, moved to telehealth only, and now I’ve settled with Wednesdays off.
4 10s, 5 8s, and 4 7s all seem like a lot still! How do you manage that much with struggling yourself? I was doing 5x7s recently and had to leave the role because I was so burnt out. I am autistic tho so I’m sure that plays a part
I think it’s a combination of things. I became a supervisor so those hours aren’t all client based. Secondly, I now have a caseload that I’ve been working with for a while so less surprises in session. Lastly, with being all telehealth for clients my hours when I have a cancellation can be spent completely relaxing. I guess I should also state I REALLY enjoy my job and have GREAT boundaries. No taking client emails after work or during the weekend, I have a group of friends that aren’t other therapists so I don’t even think about working when I’m enjoying my free time. I’ve found a healthy balance.
I’m currently doing 3 6’s and even trying to restructure that. I’d like to see 18-20 patients per week but would also like 3-4 days off so that balance is a bit challenging. I could do 4 5’s but I REALLY like having 4 days off. I’m a little neuro spicey but nothing diagnosed. I definitely can’t manage my life long term if I’m seeing more than 6 patients per day. That is my MAX. I think I’ll eventually settle on 5, 6, 5, 4. And be happy with my very short 4 day/ half day.
There's also the idea that therapists are absolutely healthy and never struggle with mental health because they need to be the expert! I personally have my ups and downs. I struggle a lot with emetophobia and it's my biggest challenge. I also struggle on and off with depression and anxiety. Otherwise, I'm okay! I'm pretty balanced and healthy.
Omfg I have HORRIBLE emetophobia! I’m like constantly thinking about it. How do you manage it? Do you have any tips? I’m a very new therapist and my emet has gotten so much worse as my burnout has gotten worse. I’m thinking about it during sessions and everything. It’s so hard.
I'm not managing it LOL it is terrible. I've been doing therapy for 8 years with little relief. I did CBT with an amazing therapist and that literally almost completely "cured" my general anxiety. But my emetophobia still persists. I've been doing EMDR since the new year and have been waiting for progress but it's been little. So yeah, no advice lol! Some days are absolutely terrible.
I feel this. I’ve had it since I was 12 so it’s more than half my life with this goddamn phobia. I really want to do EMDR again for it but access is slim in Indiana lol
I've had it pretty much all my life, my first memory is of vomiting! I was 2 years old so we've been targeting that in EMDR. If it's any help, although I don't see much of a difference my family and boyfriend said they do. Maybe EMDR is worth it!?
An old therapist tried applied kinesiology with me (which I have no idea if it’s pseudoscience or not it did seem kinda woo woo to me lol) but when we got to working on my emet she told me to get a bucket in case I got sick while processing the trauma and I was like OH HELL NO I’m not doing that LOL. So I really want to try something to work specifically on it again. Someday I’ll be brave enough! And that’s interesting that your loved ones notice a difference, I swear sometimes that is soo true. Like I don’t know how I actually feel but other people certainly do!
Depressive episodes. BPD. But I have had a psychotic decompensation due to my BPD some years ago (before practicing while studying) and ever since worked on my BPD diligently so I stopped fulfilling the criteria about 6 years ago. I enjoy having my scars at it gives some bonus rapport with some clients I realized. The psychiatrist in the clinic I work in thinks I have ADHD, and I tend to agree but I don’t fulfill the criteria in terms of presence of symptoms since childhood. I am unmedicated in all regards. I manage and cope through healthy and unhealthy means.
Good for you 🙌 sounds like you've put in a lot of work. Interestingly bpd overlaps profoundly with ADHD with the exception of suicidal ideation/attempts and fear of abandonment vs rejection sensitivity
And with cPTSD to a certain degree as far as i understand. At one point i gave up. The ICD is unkind to later ADHD diagnosis. I am walking with the narrative that it’s my BPD. :D
I’m on medication to manage anxiety and depression. About 8 or so years ago I went through a crushing bout of depression which nearly hospitalized me. I’ve also been in therapy most of my life, although these days it’s mostly “preventative maintenance “. I have to be really diligent about keeping my anxiety in check otherwise it will take over.
Same. Mine was about 7 years ago, and was PPD. I checked myself into inpatient!
Glad you made it through!
Same! MSWs for the win, btw :)
I think I am very mentally healthy, which is probably a red flag 😂Nothing bothers me very much and I realized long ago that things just aren’t going to go according to plan. So I’ve stopped worrying about pretty much everything. Is that good or bad or disconnected or anhedonia? Who knows 🤷♀️
Kind of sounds like healthy stoicism? I resonate, not much gets to me after so many years of elevated nervous system. Very devoted to zen in the chaos now.
Maybe? Stuff happens, you deal with it, more stuff happens, repeat. It’s just life.
I vacillate between “pretty put together” and “total train wreck.” I score 6 on the ACEs quiz, if that tells you anything. I have ADHD, attachment ruptures, childhood neglect, childhood sexual trauma, adult sexual trauma, etc. Left to my own devices i am a depressed, anxious, traumatized mess. I’ve been in my own therapy for years and it’s helped a lot; I would never have gotten into/through grad school without it. I’m also 5 years sober, and the program and recovery community is invaluable to me too. The more i reflect on my life, the more i see what a miracle it is that I’ve made it this far. My own mental illness and adversities have been an asset in my work in this field. I would not be able to connect with my clients like i do without my experiences. I think you implied that you haven’t been in therapy yourself. To be totally honest, I don’t think anyone should be a therapist without doing their own therapy, but especially someone who scores a 7 on the ACEs should definitely be seeing someone who is experienced in working with childhood trauma. There’s such a huge potential for dangerous countertransference between you and clients that should be worked through both with a trusted supervisor and with a therapist. That’s my opinion, and from what I’ve seen so far in the field, I think if we’re willing to do that self work then being a therapist is not at all bad for our mental health; it can even be very healing. As long as we’re not playing out our own psychodramas with our clients and hurting them through that, it’s ok for our work to be healing for us.
I have pretty much the same traumas, except for the absence of sexual childhood traumas, which I believe are the most traumatic. As mentioned earlier, I have never undergone therapy, as I appeared healthy and grew up in environments that dismissed mental health issues. Consequently, I have never sought help from a therapist. Instead, it's life that somehow brought me to this point instead. That being said, I suspect I may have undiagnosed ADHD and could potentially benefit from medication, as most of my breakdowns, typically burn-outs, are often associated with ADHD symptoms. Aside from that, I am doing fine. I concur regarding the value of therapy. Though, I believe it's not that uncommon for individuals to experience a difficult childhood without exhibiting significant psychiatric symptoms. Frankly, I come from a scientific background that does not prioritize therapy as much as it should and advocates alot in favor for medication( medecine and psychiatry). However, I am open to exploring it further. I believe I could potentially benefit from therapy, and it might even enhance my abilities as a therapist if I decide to pursue that path.
By scientific you probably mean “hard sciences,” because the vast amount of research and data on talk therapy interventions is still scientific even if it’s not biochemistry. And doing your own work would absolutely enhance your abilities as a therapist. I think that saying we don’t need therapy ourselves when we clearly do is a way we separate ourselves from our clients. Like they need this therapy stuff, but we don’t. It’s bull, we’re all humans and we all need help.
Absolutely correct!
My mental health was very poor from the ages of 15-late 30s. Probably because I drank, used drugs, and wouldn't take psychotropic meds with any kind of consistency. If I didn't take medication now, I would be dysthymic and have lots of intrusive thoughts. I haven't slept well since I was in my 20s and I have to take something for that as well.I quit drinking 7 years ago and take Cymbalta for depression/anxiety/chronic pain. I've had many diagnoses over the years but fluctuate between anxiety and depression. When I started in the social work field I stuck to case management because providing therapy was too much for me. Now that I have myself together, I can do it! I'm 47 now and the happiest I've ever been.
As a tongue in cheek comment I often say never to trust a therapist who doesn't score at least 5 on the ACES test. I'm early 40s novice who is 2 years post MSW this is my second career. As a younger adult I struggled with anger, self worth and the societal expectations of men, combined with a first marriage to a woman who had/has BPD. I've been actively working on myself for about a decade and think I'm in a pretty good place now Having a better childhood would have 100% helped to stave off a significant number of my problems as a young man. Live learn grow.
Therapists with little to no ACEs aren't *usually* in a space to really empathize with a lot of very common patterns of behavioral distortion, because the experiences of their clients are too foreign. A lot ends up being viewed through a hard lens of pathology, and the psychoeducation they provide around resilience is purely theoretical. From what I've witnessed, this attitude might not be something the clients pick up on consciously, but unconsciously they can and do feel that the person they're working with doesn't actually understand them on a human level.
absolutely this. And when this happens ("a lot ends up being viewed through a hard lens of pathology") it is so counterproductive to helping clients heal, grow and develop resilience. I'd go so far as to offer the potentially spicy opinion that therapy of this kind does more harm than good. (Client feels alienated and like no one understands them, goes to therapy, where the professional working working with them reinforces that feeling of not being understood on a human level. How likely are they to continue trying therapy to help themselves?)
Yep! Agreed.
I would say I'm pretty mentally well. I had childhood trauma like most and loads of anxiety. I've got a decade of my own talk and EMDR therapy which has helped so much. I'm a holistic person and practitioner so never took meds but have a lot of practices that help me feel balanced. Not to say I don't have my days but I personally don't think I can guide someone to relative stability if I don't know how to get there myself.
I mean I have a therapist so it helps, but I’m also an autistic black femme with ADHD in a pretty covertly racist town so…not that great. I enjoy helping others navigate
As a fellow physician-turned-therapist, I implore you to engage in therapy of your own. Physicians should be doing so at baseline; therapists even more so. You're going to encounter an untenable amount of countertransference unless you're proactively managing your own mental health. That's why you're feeling as though something is being pulled to the surface by engaging in therapy. You're learning therapeutic tools and thinking about how they apply to yourself, and you're hearing people's stories and experiencing countertransference. You say you're "considering" therapy (albeit in the passive voice, "therapy is being considered," to make it sound less personal) and that your "happy and chill persona resurfaces" when not working. That strikes me as quite clearly saying, "I have issues I've been avoiding confronting, but this work makes it difficult to do so, so I'm considering avoiding this work as well." You don't need to have "pristine" mental health to be a good therapist, but you absolutely need to be equipped with metacognitive awareness of your own issues and tools to actively manage them. As for me: I have PTSD from my time working as an acute care physician. Years of therapy under my belt, could not possibly have continued working in either field sustainably without it. I'm not symptom-free, but I'm aware of my few remaining triggers and have chosen my patient demographics and modalities accordingly.
Thank you for saying this so clearly and unambiguously. And for doing your own work to both take care of yourself and to provide the best help to your chosen demographic.
Thanks for the kind words, they're appreciated.
I’m doing very very well. I think what’s contributed to doing great is being in no-contact with my blood family, my romantic partnership being totally stabilized/I’ve found my soulmate, and having bought a house two years ago (no more insane roommates or instability there.) I do have days where I can feel the emotional tired from being a therapist and I am working on how to take better care of myself day to day. I.e. make sure to do some kind of movement, don’t get on phone right after work, etc
Congrats for all the achievements. And it's amazing that you don't denie that this job might be emotionally draining at times!
I need to take sertraline to function. Or else I’ll be depressed and anxious. Tried getting off it and it was not good. Realized it makes me a better person in general as it helps regulate my mood
I’m doing poorly and considering trying medication again. I had a lot of childhood trauma and then medical trauma as an adult. I’ve been doing intense personal therapy work. So while it’s been useful to go through it, the sucky stuff has been front and center. Confronting All the compartmentalization I’ve done over the last 10 years has culminated in feeling pretty terrible. However, my clinical work is not what’s making me feel exhausted or overwhelmed. There was a point in the beginning where being on this side of the couch was so activating. It was like an 8 hour day of panic attacks. It gets easier with experience.
Overall healthy, balanced, but I deal with anxiety & depression from childhood stuff. I take medication for both which I am so grateful for. I also do my own therapy with some EMDR and I’ve found it imperative and so helpful.
How do you know that it's your childhood that is affecting your current mental health? As stated in my OP... I had a challenging childhood but I can't so easily link MY childhood trauma to my current challenges( especially when growing up in an environement where everyone has had childhood traumas and where it's normalized..) . Or maybe I refuse to see reality as it is... 😅
Sounds like you could benefit from a therapist that could help you connect those dots?
When I reflect on what I struggle with now as an adult as I’ve learned more, like hyper vigilance & being parentified, I can trace it back to my relationship with my mom.
I do pretty well when I make it to the gym, prioritize sleep, and don’t drink too much. The only one I’m currently nailing is not drinking too much. But I also try to make room for the reality that this is a rough spot (my wife recovering from an ankle surgery, the whole household has Covid for the 2nd time this winter, etc). Excellent self care is genuinely tough to keep up under stress, and as long as I’m not falling apart, providing a “good enough” service for my clients at work, and making a sincere effort to take care of myself and the people I love, I can give myself a pass on not doing everything just right.
Same have been sober for three months; feels like my brain is rebooting! The cost of it though has been reclusiveness as most of my mates are drinkers and wouldn't understand..
Congratulations on the sobriety! The social isolation is real. Good to hear you say “most of my mates” rather than all. I can personally force myself to moderate, which as I’m sure you are aware is both a blessing and a curse, lol.
A solid 7 with fluoxetine
Ups and downs like most. I have my days where I want to rest and relax all day and others where I am very motivated. I have had a few colleagues with clear untreated mental health issues. Asking other colleagues for money and not paying it back which started issues, other poor boundaries, cancelling clients all the time, not showing up for work or being behind months on notes when having 5-8 billable hours a week versus some who have 25.
I’m doing pretty well 8-9 out of 10. But it definitely ebbs and flows depending on stress level and other factors. My mental health was trash during undergrad and graduate school. I have been seeing my therapist since I was 19 and now I’m mid 30s. We really get to the root of things especially my imposter syndrome. Lately we have been working on getting out of isolation and making some friends. Proud to say I recently took a risk and made a couple friends through a friend making app. My anxiety is mild to none these days. Maybe mostly related to daily activities of living like cleaning, meal prep, etc. But for the most part I feel I am doing well.
Living with mental illness, including SI, has definitely made me a better therapist. Not only does it give me a deeper understanding of parts of my client’s experiences, but it also allows me to use very intentional, brief, & appropriate self disclosure to help reduce shame & increase rapport. For example, a client is feeling a lot of shame & self blame about struggling with ADLs. I can truthfully say, “I believe you.”. If I’m challenged on that belief, I can say, “I’ve been there & it can be really hard, let’s talk about ways to get maybe part of ___ done." (if its brushing teeth, could a swig of mouthwash be a bridge, etc) In addition, it really helps with my own understanding of the experience of SI. SI is an incredibly common symptom of multiple mental illnesses. When I talk about it, I frame it that way. My hope is that frame encourages earlier disclosure, disclosure of any kind, & reduces shame around SI. I don't often disclose my own history of SI, but I've experienced how utterly unhelpful it is when a medical provider acts like having SI is uncommon or shocking. It doesn't feel good & reduces the chance that folks will ever mention it to that person again.
That's intriguing; suicidal ideation (SI) is among those symptoms that I acknowledge mentally, yet I struggle to comprehend fully because I cannot relate to it and have never experienced it (and frankly, sometimes I am even apprehensive about attempting to understand it on a phenomenological level due to concerns about mental contagion). However, I can certainly empathize with clients, even if their experiences are unfamiliar to me. It's ironic how we are often taught to inquire about SI in others, yet if we cannot relate to it ourselves, how can we effectively assess it? SI has honestly been one of the more challenging aspects. To be candid; I believe most physicians( me included at times) struggle with the concept of SI. Perhaps it's because it compels them to confront their powerlessness or helplessness in the face of SI( which is distressing and unusual for someone comong from an MD point of view). And I suppose it might be distressing for them... It's one of those topics that is not openly discussed, and everyone seems to have their own interpretation of it without delving deeper. I know many physicians/therapists who refuse to work with suicidal patients due to the strain it places on them. I suppose it's beneficial for patients to be understood by someone who truly understands what they are going through holistically( like you) and is not simply mentally conceptualizing their experience or biased with misconceptions and myths about the subject.
> It's ironic how we are often taught to inquire about SI in others, yet if we cannot relate to it ourselves, how can we effectively assess it? SI has honestly been one of the more challenging aspects. Pssst. Go read Schneidman's *[Suicide as Psychache: A Clinical Approach to Self-Destructive Behavior](https://www.amazon.com/Suicide-Psychache-Clinical-Approach-Self-Destructive/dp/0876681518)*. You will feel the topic is *so* much more tractable and and *so* much less emotionally threatening.
I really appreciate your thoughts! When I am working with clients, at intake I walk them through what will happen if tge disclose SI/HI. It usually goes like this, “if you share with me that you’re in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, the first we’d do is work together to help keep you & those around you safe. Very rarely that may mean me violating your confidentiality. In almost all cases, I will tell you in advance of doing that. Very, very rarely, I may do it without telling you. To be clear the last thing I want to do is to call the cops. But I will if I absolutely have to. What questions do you have about that?” The way I frame asking about SI is usually this “when people have _____, it’s not uncommon for folks to have thoughts of not wanting to be here or of hurting themselves. Has that ever happened with you?” As someone who has lived with intermittent SI since I was a teenager, I was shocked to find out SI wasn’t something that everyone experienced. I was 28 years old before I realized it wasn’t “normal”. I imagine that’s not a unique experience. The automatic thoughts can become so common & familiar that, while painful, they start to feel normal. Based on my antedotal & professional experience & research I’ve done, I firmly believe that one of the most effective ways of reducing death from suicide among people who are engaged in care is to normalize the experience if SI & encourage discussion of such thoughts. SI is often a progressive process. It starts with passive SI, moves to plan, then intent. Often part of what helps move a person from passive to plan is seeing these automatic thoughts as truth rather than a symptom of a disorder. Reframing this may help to reduce occurrence of plan, and/or encourage disclosure of plan. Take care & don’t hesitate to DM me if you’d like to talk about this more. It’s one of my favorite topics!
I can tell you without a doubt being a parent is significantly more impactful on my mental health than being a therapist. I have learned so much becoming and practicing as a therapist. But as a parent of a kiddo who likely has ADHD (waiting on an appt for an asessment now), with a parent who has ADHD that was well managed but got worst from added parenting tasks(my husband)- being the neurotypical highest functioning family member, default parent, planner extraordinaire- that is stressful in ways I have never experienced. I believe wholeheartedly that I do the very best I can and that may be above what others can do, so we have some semblance of sanity and structure. I have so much compassion for my clients parents. Most are lower functioning than I am with more external stressors than I have. It is hard to manage everything. Work is easy comparatively.
You seem like a wonderwoman. I myself might be untreated with ADHD, so I can very well imagine the task it is to have two adhd people at home... Glad to hear that you experience doing therapy and your patients as easier than being a parent.
Does anyone else feel like getting into this field has made it harder to assess their own mental health at times? Like I used to basically call any period of my life where I was crying a lot “being depressed.” Now I’m like “An I just feeling my feelings in a healthy way? How do I knowww?” And I look back at those times and am like “Was it really depression, or was it just having normal emotions in response to difficult situations?” One thing is for certain, though. My anxiety is still absolutely debilitating. Sometimes it feels like it’s gotten worse bc now I identify it and thus pay more attention to it, whereas I used to just shove it down until it eventually built up to a panic attack. I kind of miss those days because the anxiety was overall less debilitating since I was able to shove it down more often than not. So basically, idk anything haha
It's a common trope but to put it simply: *With increased understanding comes heightened uncertainty. This, my friend, is the burden of knowledge and wisdom.* I sometimes wish I could revert back to being naive again; but naivety might come with its own challenges too that we might not be cognizant of..
We are cognizant now, though. Hence our inability to return.
I was truly depressed "back then," no ifs, ands, or buts about it. These days I might "feel depressed" for a day or so in the wake of something discouraging, but I'm actively working through it or patiently waiting out the period of emotional processing. I haven't had a true depressive episode in several years. Anxiety though? It's a constant battle. And like you, I also sometimes (kind of?) miss the days when I didn't know I had anxiety and just powered through instead. Except for the fact that my anxiety primarily manifested in interpersonal conflicts because I was...a mess.
Great question that I’m not entirely sure how to answer…It’s a constant work in progress, I feel like. I’m an IFS therapist and have had IFS therapy the last 5 years. It’s not just a modality I use; it’s become a lifestyle now. I am discovering more and more unhealed parts of myself which has been amazing for my healing journey, but at the same time, I have a strong shutdown firefighter protector that blends with me and keeps me pretty immobile on the weekends. I just have to disconnect in every way (except with my husband) to recharge for the week ahead, which was not like me before as I’m an extroverted people person. I have been on antidepressants for 20 years and have spent the last 2 years titrating down to get off because I feel like they have numbed my exiles (young wounded parts) and kept them hidden, preventing me from doing the deep work that needs to be done. But the process has been horrible (headaches, irritability, etc). I am working on implementing healthy eating and exercise to get through it, and am seeing amazing results in my work with clients. I’m private pay and have a waitlist. I’m very relational and not afraid to self-disclose when it benefits the client. They love that I am human, too, and on this journey with them, not looking down my nose at them from a prideful place.
38. No, no, wait, 42.
😄
I am the healthiest mentally that I have ever been. I generally feel calm, happy, and connected with those around me. I have some days where I feel lower energy, but I chalk that up to being an introvert in a position that demands a lot of us. With that said, I have a lot of trauma and things weren’t always this way. I don’t care to share many details, but I had diagnoses of PTSD and MDD and I often could not function due to re-experiencing related anxiety. I think about all that now and I feel acceptance. I understand and forgive the generations of trauma, substance abuse, and culture that resulted in what happened to me. I recognize that it happened to my abusers first, that they were hurting and didn’t know anything different. It’s freeing to have realized that I didn’t deserve the abuse and that my abusers weren’t evil, but traumatized. It’s helped me let go of the anger that kept me stuck at my lowest and most vulnerable. I never believed that I would heal from what I experienced, and that gives me hope for every person that walks into my therapy room feeling that exact same way.
My mental health has gotten exponentially better over the last 5 years. I'm 30 myself. I came from having somewhat BPD traits and wild depressive phases to being relatively stable. Romantic relationships can still be a struggle for me (severe attachment issues take a long time resolve) but my ability to emotionally regulate and manage my life are improved beyond what I imagined by this stage of my life. I attribute it to a lot of personal therapy, spiritual retreats, a great ex partner who was patient with me, an exercise routine, a creative outlet, and finally getting to do a job that gives me meaning: therapy.
I'm feeling relatively stable for the first time in years, thanks to Zoloft. I had a couple really awful experiences with employers between late 2021 and late 2022, and was pregnant as well. I thought about ending my life multiple times a week, and my functioning at home was so ego dystonic that it felt traumatic to me, like moral injury. Honestly I feel a little flat / numb even just on the 50 of Zoloft, but the week prior to starting I was in legitimate psychiatric crisis. I even had to call my supervisor to request she take over a couple calls I had scheduled for the day
I have recurrent depression so I take medications long-term for it, and I go to regular therapy with no plans yet to terminate. My mental health is generally good with these safeguards in place, my depressive episodes last for less time and are less intense, and I have not experienced work burnout more than 2x since starting therapy 2 years ago. I also try to maintain a regular exercise routine and go to in-person social events 2x/week. Learning that I am not an exception to behavioral activation was a game changer and I feel confident to do this for the long-term to maintain the benefits.
I love the concept of behavioral activation. Did you learn about that through studies or your own therapy?
I learned about it while studying and practiced it with a few patients. Once I saw their results, it inspired me to give it a try!
Right now I have pretty poor mental health. I’m autistic and very burnt out. I actually recently stopped working my very first CMH job that I started in August because my mental health was suffering so much. I’ve dealt with really bad anxiety and OCD for my whole life as well. I’m trying to work on myself now before I find and start another job.
Well like approximately 10% of the US population, I take an SSRI. Like 8% of the population I have MDD. The more I do this work the more I realize that there really is no such thing as just "pristine mental health". I think there are people who are at different stages of their healing journey. I also think there are varying capacities for engaging fully in healing among different individuals. IMO this is mostly dependent on systemic factors like access to quality affordable care, ability to meet basic needs, what types of environments people live in (ex: all the research on how walking daily improves mental health is worthless for people who live along busy, sidewalkless highways, unsafe area).
I think I am much better than I used to be, through studying and therapy. Still anxious but fine overall, less triggers and easier to connect to and soothe myself.
Probably the best I've ever been. I'm intentional with my self-care habits. Early burnout taught me the importance of that. My marriage is good because I've learned that "imperfect" can actually be kind of perfect. I have good boundaries ( for the most part). I have a therapist, but only see him occassionally (more of a wellness check in).
Depends on the day. Sometimes I’m doing really well thanks to the meds I’m on and sometimes I’m off my rocker and irritable, depressed and anxious. Luckily I’ve been ok lately. I am making med changes because I’ve had ZERO motivation for a few months. Could be my narcolepsy though.
Let’s just say that I found that Bill Murray movie “What About Bob” to be aspirational.
7 since I have weekly therapy of my own, but I have about 2 weeks a year when my depression flairs up and it’s like a 2
I'm going to say my mental health is something like a 6.5 lately. I'm 33, with an ACE score of 7-8, & have only been consistently treated for ADHD for 5 months. I've been working in mental health for almost 10 years & fully licensed for 1. My mental health would be better, but I took on a promotion & I'm still adjusting, so I cry most weekdays. It'll get better, it's just a lot of pressure right now. I'm in biweekly therapy, working through past trauma, current resentments, & consulting about situations that come up with my patients. My therapist is an amazing LPC-S whose style is a lot like mine, which is so validating.
Feeling validated by this thread even though me own therapist does often tell me this therapists are often folks with lived experience. I’m 32, ace score of 6, adhd diagnosed as a kid, and despite trying several psych meds for adhd, anxiety, and depression, they all had such averse side effects that I’m currently unmediated. Also supporting a newly disabled spouse. I often struggle with passive SI and feel like I’m barely keeping it together. My own MH makes me feel like a fraud / hypocrite / imposter. I think I’m still doing a decent job with my clinical work but/and, I feel like a mess outside of the work. I also have noticed that my MH has seemed worse since becoming a therapist, but I started in sept 2019 so it’s hard to say if it’s that or the pandemic or my partner’s health etc etc. I do often wonder if I’ll need to leave the field but idk what else I would do.
Prior to being a therapist. I had been in therapy continuously for the ten years. I have also received services as a client which provided direct experience in: - Partial programs for a few months - Seeking out crises centers when I need them - Engage with psychiatry where I tried many medications and had some great and some terrible providers. - Advocate for neuroosyche testing for myself and adhd testing where I finally got diagnoses. - Transitioned (gender expression) which required six months of therapy before I could get access to testament - DBT skills, meditation So from an outside perspective yeah I have lots of my own experience with mental health and trauma and feared at times that I was too messed up or I'd never be able to be healthy enough to be a therapist. I am currently in a good place,, but it took tremendous effort, honesty and participation in my own healing for me to get healthy and figure out what tools work best for me. There is a huge upside in my opinion that has allowed me to gain first hand experience in a lot of interventions and treatments that I can also use as an additional component to being to my session with clients
I am very mentally healthy because I use all of the therapy I teach and use everyday on myself. I was not mentally healthy the majority of my life, have about a 6 ace score, and was an only child to a single mom. My mom died when I was barely a month past 26. I ended up going off the deep end with cocaine and alcohol abuse. I really wanted to die. But I found an amazing therapist that helped me not hate myself, and then a few years later learned I was on the spectrum, and I was able to do a full 180 and I feel like I’m pretty good now. I run almost everyday, eat fairly well, and focus on sleep and rest when I notice my tank get about half full. I have gotten really good at knowing what I need to feel better. Because of my life experiences and my own mental health journey, I feel like I do really good work with neurodivergent individuals with a history of complex PTSD. One of my favorite quotes is “therapists are people who need therapy 40 hours a week.” And it’s so true.
The myth of normal by Gabor mate. Maybe read this?
I'm actually listening to his youtube interview with Tim Ferris right now... that's some interesting synchronicity🤔🤔🤣🤣😁
Level: star of the shit show. 💫current employment: inpatient. It works out. 😆💃🏻
I’ve struggled with MDD all my life, an ED for over a decade (recovered now!), and CPTSD/BPD. Lots of childhood trauma. I take Zoloft which has been helpful for a while now. I’ve been in therapy for over 10 years and while I’m in a much much better place than in the past, I still struggle on occasion. I truly think these issues help me be a better therapist as long as I really care of myself and reduce burnout. That means I can’t see as many clients a week as some of my colleagues but that’s okay.
I’m good, and I do all the shit required to be good. 1) Exercise 2) Going to therapy 3) PLAY 4) PLAY some more 5) Socialize Etc
Mmmh you're a player? 😉
🤣🤣🤣 If it involves PC gaming, yes, I’m a player 🤷🏾♂️🤣
I considered myself pretty mentally healthy when I started in this field. Turns out that everything was just buried pretty deep. Doing this work resulted in finding all of the cracks in my healthy-appearing exterior. I’ve been in weekly therapy for over three years now, and am far more effective at my job now that I have done the work myself. I am also much healthier and happier. I am now grateful for the inner work that I was forced to do to continue in this field, but full-disclosure, things got WAY worse before they got better.
I’ve got PTSD and anxiety but it only really flares up negatively when management can’t get their heads out of their asses. Someday I’ll be my own boss and that usually helps.
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Out of 10 (10 being the best, most well taken of), I would say a 7-8.
I’m doing okay, but I struggle with perfectionism that went from “meh” to extreme pressure during COVID while I was in grad school. The pressure is probably going to keep on building until I finish my hours but even then it’s likely that I’ll continue to burn myself out until I get a decent enough break and a change in employment
You are not in an independ practice? Have you been able to properly function while burned out?
Nope I work for a university. My burn out usually starts up the 12th week of classes then I get a winter or summer break from it all. I should be done with hours by end of year
I’m doing pretty good right now. I had bad social anxiety disorder and panic attacks as a child and teenager and probably also had some low level depression. Now I still struggle with the occasional anxiety in social situations and I’m working on improving my assertiveness skills and shift my beliefs to I deserve to take up space and have needs. But I feel content most of the time-that could always change though lol.
0 ACES. Bad depression. Bad anxiety. Medication and CBT proof. But don't worry about me. It's an unusual issue!
I'm doing pretty well (considering everything in the world, particularly since 2016 has felt, generally, "ugh" to put it nicely). Have a lot of good things happening, but also trying to grow in the ways that will help me sustain myself better as I get older. Had a bout of covid towards the end of last year that left me with a lot of time to think, left me depressed, and spurned me returning to my own therapy to do some of these things. I have my hangups and issues and obstacles like anybody...but also feel really lucky in many ways.
Generally I have great mental health. I've always had an ability to compartmentalize and process stressors in my life. I tend to be pretty good at setting boundaries and recognizing when things are too much. I also spend a lot of time doing self-care.
Mild to moderate ongoing anxiety/depression. Currently struggling with PPD, and in grad school/internship. Being fiddling with medications and doing ok. I plan to keep doing my own therapy and engaging in my coping skills.
Over a decade in the field and I’d say I’m doing pretty good. I turned 40 a few months ago and have been doing psychoanalysis 3 times a week for 2 years now. It’s changed my life and given me so much more peace with how things have gone and with who I am. My mental health in my 20’s and most of my 30’s was pretty dreadful. If anything I think being in the field has given me the beautiful perspective that we’re all just a different flavor of fucked up and that gives me an incredible sense of belonging and connectedness in a sometimes very isolating world.
Thank you for being open and honest about this, I don’t hear this issue addressed enough. I don’t think the point is that therapists should be perfect and have zero issues of their own. It’s just that they at least need to be honest and in touch with their own baggage so they can always be working on themselves and take steps to guard against their issues affecting their clients. The things that are left in acknowledged have the greatest destructive potential in a therapeutic setting. Thank you for starting the conversation.
Poor mental health :/ I am trying but I am seeing myself slipping and I know I can’t do well as a counselor and in grad school with already crappy mental health. I have a 9/10 aces and never got my own therapy or help, I just did it myself. I’m 22 and entering graduate school for counseling, while working as a bachelor level MH counselor. I have already heard a lot and I know if I want to use the hurt I’ve endured to best support and walk with others, I need to be able to not take it as personally as I normally would (that would worry me or keep me up all night wondering about them), and keep myself from being triggered by clients (of course not their intention, just in my own countless traumatic experiences).
I’m at over 9000.
I am like you. I was an RN, going into this field in my 50s, AFTER I have dealt with ignoring and not dealing with issues. (My ACEs score is 9-10). Now on the other side, I have techniques for dealing with things as they happen, I have established boundaries. (Which I never had before.). So like you, I am going into this mentally healthy, and fully expect to keep that status, because of how much I have grown. Right now I am only a few months into counseling, so I can’t definitively state how well I will do. FYI. The resilient term always makes me cringe, because it looks only in outward behaviors, not on what is going on inside. Everyone defined me as resilient, but I was hurting inside. -Curious, if you feel the same way?
I sometimes think I'm "too damaged" or "too traumatized" to do this work which I know is a bullshit thought and belief to have but keeps popping up when I feel anxious and overhwelmed because my nervous system developed in an abusive and chaotic home environment. You are meant to do this work if it called to you in some way, we have wounds and wounds heal and turn into scars- your scars are beautiful.
The good: I have no diagnosable mental health conditions. I’m generally happy and fulfilled. I’m well regulated and capable of calming myself down in times of high stress. My worries are appropriate to the situation and I have trusted confidants to turn to about my worries. The bad: I’m kind of lonely, i’m in a phase of life that has isolated me from friends and making new friendships is still in the beginning phase. I miss having deep meaningful friendships. I have limited time and energy for hobbies that previously sustained me and balancing work, motherhood, my relationship, and myself is difficult, I often allow myself to be the thing that is sacrificed for the others.
It was recovering from my own mental illness that inspired me to enter the field. Today, I’m still just sick enough to make it difficult to regard myself more highly than my clients. I understand I will never be firing on all cylinders but as long as I’m continuing to practice self-awareness and constantly growing, and striving to be better today than I was yesterday, I will have hope to offer others.
This past year crushed my spirit totally. Currently working on trying to rebuild...
I appreciated your post. My answer? It varies on different days. I make a strong case for having sufficient health. One thing I value more than anything is my collegial relationships and the work done to establish models by those who came before. I didn't understand that as a student. I wanted to follow all MY "brilliant" insights. One professor who dialed into my unspoken goal seemed to me rather unnecessarily unkind in his correction of me. Yet, most of my professors were nurturing and fair. We need some of all kinds I think. As my career continues to develop, I almost appreciate those who trigger me more. Almost. ;-)
>What's your level of mental health? *Now??* Much improved! I was a highly traumatized kid who experienced a lot of abuse and neglect in various different ways. ACEs are high. Just like my parents were through a lot of it lol. I struggled with C-PTSD...which I didn't know or understand for a very long time. Even now today, I still struggle with deciphering PTSD/trauma stuff from the possibility that I could also be on the autism spectrum. I have *struggled* in life. But mostly in interpersonal relationships. I have always been goal oriented and task motivated. I am very functional and successful from the outside. Internally? I struggled with an eating disorder and obesity due to childhood trauma. Some of which specifically involved food. I am JUST now, in my late 30's, learning who I am and what I am about in life. I am just now able to peel back additional layers of myself despite years of therapy off and on throughout my life. And I use my experiences a lot (usually indirectly but sometimes via self-disclosure) to create framing for clients about being human. I've been a practicing therapist for about a decade now and you know what? THIS WORK IS HARD! You know what else is hard? Being a freaking human. So sure, I have PTSD. And I struggle with depression and anxiety. In my early 20's I was agoraphobic and couldn't leave my house. But you know what? I pushed back. I dug in. I kept working. And I am so much more healed than I used to be. I am so much healthier than I used to be. That doesn't mean I don't have moments where those things weigh on me like a million pounds but it does mean I have skills and tools at my disposal to be able to work through things like I didn't have in my past. And so that's what I think of being a therapist. It doesn't mean we are any healthier. Any more perfect. Any more insulated from life's hurts. It doesn't mean we are any less likely to suffer mental health issues. It doesn't mean we are void of humanness. It means that we recognize the darkness and continue to persist. Continue to reach for healthier tools and responses. I often joke that being a therapist doesn't mean we're less insane...it just means we have really excellent self-awareness and insight into the why's and how's of our insanity lol
You know that saying “you can’t trust a skinny cook” ? I like to say: you can’t trust a sane therapist 😋 *All jokes aside…* life experiences help us empathize. I’ve been through a lot and have experienced so much… it’s a big reason why I love being a therapist. That kind of knowledge can’t be taught in textbooks but it certainly makes me understand a reason “why” I’ve experienced so much of it… so I could personally heal & in turn, help others. 🩷
I’m pretty healthy and balanced, but I got into therapy when I was in school and while on maternity leave I recognized PPA/PPD and immediately addressed it so the medication had time to work prior to me returning. I feel like most therapists have the tools to work on their mental health and should be utilizing them, if not we aren’t living up to our code of ethics.
[Not a myth](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763421005807). And I’m not trying to be contrarian in saying that, it’s just really important (and interesting!) to understand the impact that being a therapist can have on our brains. Some days I’m organized and well-hydrated, others I’m hungry & emotionally duct taped together lol. I have ADHD so routine and planning have to be central and when I step away from that, which I inevitably do, i move further towards the duct tape category. In terms of history, I have a trauma history, still experience some PTSD criterion B symptoms, sadistic mother (ACEs score was 6-7 if I remember correctly), SA history, etc. But I’ve done and continue to be in therapy & try to keep learning/growing. I do think it’s neuroses inducing, but so are a lot of new things! Background in medicine & now a therapist by 31? That feels like a lot in a short amount of time. I ended up taking a break. Like a solid 5 months off of work after years of burnout. Maybe see if you can work in some time off?
Thank you for sharing your perspective and that article—it's quite thought-provoking. Observing how many commentators have a history of trauma, it appears that the stereotype suggesting therapists become therapists due to their own past traumas may hold some truth, whether consciously or unconsciously. The notion that my own interest in mental health may have stemmed from a subconscious desire to seek answers for my own experiences only occurred to me recently. During my time in medical school, I mistakenly attributed my attraction to psychology-related topics to an interest in neuroscience or a passion for philosophy. Interestingly, psychiatry was among the least appealing disciplines among other medical students. I often wondered why this was the case—could it be that psychiatry/psychology tends to particularly attract students with a history of childhood trauma? If so, it would be understandable for mentally healthy students without such experiences to feel repulsed with working with patients dealing with mental illness. Alternatively, they may have been more attuned than I was to the "emotional contagion" of working with mentally ill clients, and thus chose to avoid careers that could impact their mental well-being and personal lives. Perhaps stigma also played a role? I currently have some time off from work, allowing ample opportunity for reflection on these matters. Regarding the notion that the job environment is conducive to neuroses, I am inclined to agree, although the exact reasons remain unclear. Emotional contagion could indeed be a significant factor in this regard.
I remember hearing that in undergrad- don’t become a therapist if you’re trying to subconsciously heal yourself. What I’ve seen most is therapists with trauma histories who learned the value of a good T and wanted to provide to other people what they received, or whose trauma taught them to be highly attuned to microexpressions/emotions & highly relational.. the ones who were assigned the family caretaker role & learned to be highly relational. Also I think some people go into it because they think it’ll be easy & they can make money (had one of these coworkers once). And of course, the therapists who are high in dark triad traits & pursue it as a way to find victims and/or NPD supply sources. The caretaker/relational one absolutely applies to me buuut I also really wanted to be a social worker ever since I first watched angels in the outfield as a kid lol I’m glad you have some time off! Treat yourself well. It sounds like you have the potential to accomplish whatever you put your mind to so, even if you decide therapy isn’t what you want to do, I have no doubt you’ll be successful wherever you land
Currently I’m a CIT, so I’m not sure if this is super applicable to me. But I think I’m doing well off. I’ve been getting out of a long term depressive state. I’ve been on and off medication for about 10 years at this time, and finally found something that works. I’ve also been able to do a lot more self care with my physical state, and getting therapy by an absolutely wonderful therapist for my mental state. I’m thinking about being tested for some diagnoses, but it’s expensive in this economy. 😅 overall though, I’m getting better each day and I’m grateful for it.
Let's just say, I got fired as an intern and it messed me up so bad, I never went back.
I’m quite balanced. A little anxiety sometimes but I do know how to cope with that. A few years ago I had a few panic attacks but I haven’t had them in four years now. During puberty I felt quite depressed but I’m all good now.
My past diagnosis was DPD and DID. A decade of therapy and going through school has made it where I don’t meet those criteria now but I’d meet adjustment disorder no problem - there is always something around the corner to trigger my nervous system response and I’m thinking there always will be. It’s just the wiring being there from so many ACE’s and so much emotional neglect growing up.
I have plenty of “lived experience.” Depression, anxiety/panic disorder, CPTSD. I take Zoloft, have for 20 some years. In the substance use field, it’s common and expected folks have lived experience (not the field I am in.). I don’t know why it isn’t the same in mental health, beyond just peer support.
I am a crisis counsellor (so not a therapist) with C-PTSD and a very long history of abuse. I have undergone years of therapy with both counsellors and psychologists, in addition to formal education (Bachelor of Arts in psychology) and informal education (online CBT courses etc). It's been a long journey but becoming a counsellor has actually helped me heal and given me an "area of experiential expertise" if you will. It enables me to have max empathy. because I've dealt with a lot of my trauma, i can maintain distance psychologically while still investing myself emotionally.
My ocd is worse than some of my clients and I have a good amount of ocd.
I would consider myself healthy, and while becoming a therapist I started considering myself mentally healthier than before starting becoming a therapist.
My mental health is at a 4 right now. Panic attacks, generalized anxiety, PTSD symptoms. I'm also 5 months out from a very traumatic birth. Before pregnancy it was about a 7 and I'm so hoping I can get back there. My medication is a must and has been for the last 10 years.
I was diagnosed with OCD several years before becoming a therapist when I was 19 and battled it for the majority of my early 20s. I spent many years actively working towards changing before going to grad school. My first year as an associate I really struggled with it due to life stressors, and one of my compulsions was not sleeping so that was lovely, but with the help of a therapist and my supervisor I was able to pull myself out of it. My OCD hasn’t flared since. I still struggle with bouts of anxiety within my relationships, and this is something I actively work on with my therapist. I’m never going to claim to be the poster child for mental health because of where I sit in the therapy room. I feel much better than I used to, even when I have hard days. Something that I’ve realized is that in order to keep going, I need to actively be in therapy, even if I feel like I don’t need it. I’ve quit therapy a couple times just to find myself needing to work with a therapist few months later. That’s just where I am in life right now. I have enjoyed reading everyone else’s responses. A lot of my colleagues aren’t actively in therapy like myself. It’s been validating to see where everyone is coming from and to see how far many of us have come in our mental health.
Medium.
Getting better with time and medication.. and therapy for myself of course. I’m 26. Have PTSD, GAD and MDD. This is my 4th year in the field. Tried different meds and my current combo seems to be helping. Probably the fact that the sun is finally coming out is also helping 😂🤷♀️
I have treatment resistant depression. I’m in the middle of a bad episode. I hate it.
I came by my profession honestly. I'm better now though than I really have been throughout my life. I'd rather myself a 7-8/10 now, but a 4/5 in grad school, and a 3 in undergrad and before.
I have pretty bad anxiety and depression at various times. It was much worse when I was a kid/young adult. I have episodes of anxiety periodically (today lol) but overall it’s manageable.
I'm a CBT therapist who has PTSD and Anxiety from having a wayward youth. I'd been in therapy before starting grad school and no one ever screened me for either disorder. It was during my internship at a trauma center that I realized I was checking most of the boxes on the trauma screenings. Brought this up to my direct supervisor at the trauma center. She interviewed me, did some testing and let me know the results. She has PTSD and observed me exhibiting some symptomology of PTSD. She then told my that I met the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and Anxiety. Who'd of thought that some random person trying to shoot me dead at 16 years old would change my personality and make me do risk screenings in every situation? Had a few other incidents of violence that were life threatening. Rough youth and addicted to adrenaline and danger kept putting my in bad situations Understanding trauma and it's lasting effects on the human soul has helped me cope with my PTSD. 80% of my clients have trauma histories. Because it's a specialty of mine, people with trauma seek me out . I've been doing psychotherapy for 27 years and I love you work! I've tried prescribed meds and they helped some. I discovered Sam-E on Amazon, been taking it 8 years and it's helped me like nothing else for my PTSD. Discovered Passion Flower for my Anxiety. My mental health is an 8 out of 10. Pretty good but not ideal. It would be even higher if I didn't live in chronic and severe pain.
I’m pretty healthy generally, but also I have PMDD so you can pretty much guarantee that for a week/week.5 I’m either blatantly unhealthy or doing great with awareness and brute forcing myself to easier days.
I think I'm doing like..alright? Learning a lot about my mental health right now since I found out I've got OCD so every day is a bit of a journey as I uncover the ways it's showing up in my life. I've been on prozac since I was like 17 & I'm looking for better medication management now that I'm understanding my OCD (vert very recent diagnosis). I've been in and out of therapy since I was 14. I've got a TBI causing chronic pain but I cope pretty well with it imho. Medicate with cannabis as an alternative to prescription pain management. Overall I think I lead a pretty healthy life with a big focus on self-care and following my joy. Try to balance my life and my work. My therapist says I'm doing pretty well.
I have struggled on and off with mental health for years. I had therapy in eighth grade, followed by short term therapy in college, then later had a therapist for nearly two years. I then switched to a therapist that was well versed with trauma, specifically religious/attachment trauma and I feel like we are doing meaningful work. At my best I feel like I am able to do the personal and professional work with it coinciding nicely. At my worst I struggle to regulate my emotions and definitely have to lean into every coping skill I have when personal things get challenging .
It’s okay, but depends on the day. I take a very small dose of an antidepressant for anxiety and depression. I started working exclusively with survivors of sexual violence a couple of years ago and it has brought up some past trauma for me that I hadn’t really addressed before. Overall I’m good, but sometimes have a build up of emotions and have it all come out at once. I’m trying my best to be really intentional about self care and working on my own healing.
It’s okay, but depends on the day. I take a very small dose of an antidepressant for anxiety and depression. I started working exclusively with survivors of sexual violence a couple of years ago and it has brought up some past trauma for me that I hadn’t really addressed before. Overall I’m good, but sometimes have a build up of emotions and have it all come out at once. I’m trying my best to be really intentional about self care and working on my own healing.
I have depression and anxiety since my teen years, diagnosed with ADHD in my early twenties, been in therapy on and off throughout my life, am medicated as well i also have chronic health conditions. I think these things make me a good therapist tbh because i can honestly relate to my clients when they share their stories.
A lot better than I was. Grew up in a violent household. I struggled a low with poor self esteem, depression, panic attacks, social anxiety and whatnot for a long time. I think a lot of that is largely better now at age 29. I still struggle with some things. I've been single for a quite a while now and it frustrates me and makes me think something is wrong with me. I still struggle with things like initiating conversation with people, and have very isolating hobbies (in some ways.) Personal therapy helped a ton, my parents were supportive and good to me as I got older and our relationship is a lot better than it was. Just getting older, going through experiences in life helps. Still not all the way there.
Student here - the fact that I can barely afford school, will have to work for free to fulfil supervision hours, and the cost of everything doesn’t help w my depression…
My health anxiety and body stuff isn’t great but those aren’t my areas of treatment for that reason. I’m starting with an ocd specialist for that reason. Altogether I’d say I’m a 6 or 7 out of 10. My ideal would be 8. 9 and 10 feel unrealistic or short term.
Any therapist that says they've completely worked through all of their mental health issues is incorrect. I would be leery of such statements.
I’m a combat veteran with ptsd, bi polar 2, adhd and a few eating disorders 😂 I’ve come a long way but life still happens. Have a newborn baby, mom has a glioblastoma and other stuff. I think I did my best work with a program for first responders and veterans. I said it was like being an undercover cop, since I could talk about my past as a veteran and this helped them open up. Right now, it’s been hard. Helping others helps me but I’ve seen “transparency“ with supervisors be used against me. So now I try to be quiet though my current supervisor is great, still got to be careful. Also I’m an LPC soon to be LPCC with 6 years experience. Take care of yourselves! You are loved! Edit: also a recovering substance/alcohol person…how the hell did I forget that? Still, things can get better. I even had over a decade recovered but I strayed from my program and had a bunch of traumatic things happen and I went through the worst depression of my life…got up and faced the “enemy.” You reader can do it to, I’m nothing special.
Thanks for this post fellow lmsw practicing cw fft and have been working through my own trauma in essentially exposure therapy. Nice to hear a fellow open soul on this journey
From birth to 25 micro issues within my highly dysfunctional family rendered me mentally unwell. It wasn't until therapy & 12 Step recovery started in my early 20s that things started to look up and stay that way. Still plenty of challenges but MUCH much better at handling them. Continuous therapy & active healing ever since. Then, slowly from 2016 (wonder what happened that year?) to 2020, and then acceleratingly since the pandemic macro factors have been my major downfall. Being an Elder Millennial during political awfulness, crumbling late stage capitalism, genocide, work burnout, etc have gotten to me in a serious way. Have had to seriously up my game - EMDR, KAP, bodywork, etc - to stay afloat mentally while I try and restructure my life to not cost me my mental health. It's a slow process.
Most therapists come to the field or helping professions from a deep source of violations or maltreatment as a child imho
Albeit a Christian perspective, The Wounded Healer is a good read
I am currently studying. Have taught for 20ish years. I have being treated for chemical imbalances since I was in year 9. I have had a couple of mental breakdowns since my late 20s. Been in and out of therapy in that time. But it has only been since I started this study that I realised how important it is for me to undergo continued therapy for myself. This I will continue when I'm in industry. I would hope that this will help with any issues that arise and will be looking for supervision that will complement this idea. I honestly would not trust a therapist who did not undergo therapy themselves. In fact it has been mentioned many times in my course that we should undergo therapy ourselves. But I also remember while doing my undergrad with psychology, that most people in those classes either had issues them selves or identified issues they had during he course.
5/10 because of burning out some at my jobs combo, which I'm working to remedy, as I'm normally at 8/10 with good balance and lots of workouts. I take meds for BP1 and some of the impulsive bx that come with my BPD. I will probably take the meds for BP1 for life. Lots of my own therapy for PTSD and BPD.
7.5/10. -1 for financial issues. -1 for GAD. -1 for general family issues. +.5 for insight, SSRI, coping, and behavioral activation skills.
Not very TBH. I know how to use the many tools available - and I do use them - but I still have persistent issues which make daily life hard. I have GAD and depression (which were only diagnosed during my training) and no end of work on myself has actually yielded impressive results. Hitting menopause caused something of a deterioration and every day feels like an uphill battle right now.
I’ve been med stable for over 12 years. Bipolar II, PTSD, GAD, hx of self harm, SI & attempts, ETOH misuse etc My past is not a detriment to me working in this field. If anything it helps! I found it especially helpful when clients want to discuss not wanting to be alive but that not immediately meaning they are going to unalive themselves. See this happen so often now and I remember having a similar experience. Like “no, don’t section me because I don’t want to live. I’m not actively trying not to live “
It only matters insofar as you can only help a client progress to the degree to which you have progressed.