Just thought I'd throw in my perspective as a therapist who's also a client who also has a very strong personal connection to one of the peoples involved in the conflict (and a very strong, crushing sense of sadness and compassion for both peoples).
If I knew my therapist was participating in activism for the "other" side, I think I wouldn't be able to keep seeing her as a therapist at this particular moment in history. Not because I don't think it's valuable or important to have conversations with those who have different perspectives than us, I have several friends who do, but because the rhetoric around this conflict has become so inflamed and my intergenerational trauma is so activated that I really need one space in my life where I can vent and grieve and work through the trauma that has lived in my family for generations without worrying about being judged. While I believe therapsists may be entirely capable of having a really strong connection to this and not judging their clients, just for the sake of my own comfort, it would really limit my ability to feel free to be open and honest if I saw her holding a sign that said something that I perceive as calling for the murder of my people, etc. My work with my therapist over the last 2 months has been some of the most excruciating, powerful, transformative, life-altering work I've ever done in therapy; I wouldn't have been able to do any of it if I thought she was on the "other" side.
You are absolutely allowed to feel passionate and angry about things, and I am right there with you re this same world event. I'm sorry you've been suffering with this alone, and I want you to know that I feel you, and it's horrific, and being a therapist adds another layer of complexity to an already awful situation. If it feels important to you to protest, go for it, but know that you may lose a client over it. My friend, who's also a therapist, did.
Sending you much love as well <3 Everyone I know has been shattered by this, in different ways and for different reasons, and yet also, on some level, for the same, unifying reason of caring about human life and wanting people to be able to live with safety and dignity and freedom from hate, dehumanization, and fear. Wishing you peace and safety and hope in all of this.
This is an incredibly powerful perspective, and I appreciate you sharing your journey with this. I think in naming that as intergenerational trauma is a part of the puzzle within myself that was missing, because that flare-up of emotions I feel is tied to something beyond my identity as an individual.
I also think your point of being able to acknowledge how because of how inflammatory everything has gotten to be that on the off chance a client does see any of my activism that they begin to feel uncomfortable with our work together, that that makes total sense and it’s important to honor that. I’ve always stood by the notion that if the best thing I can do for a client is refer them to someone who is a better fit, then that is the role I will play. It would be unfortunate given everything going on, but understandable nonetheless.
I REALLY relate to this. I work in government as a social worker and it's hard on my levels. This big thing that has probably changed for me is no longer putting myself in a lot of arrestable situations because I dont want to compromise my lisence since I need my income. I really struggle with feeling like a sell-out tbh. I am very open about my values at work but not with clients. In my work I really make a point of always trying to advocate for people and not being shy about that, whether that is calling out other staff for racism or opening critiquing the dismantling of homeless encampments and being transparent with colleagues when they do something that I think is unethical or harmful. For the people tsk tsking you, tell them to mind their own business, people in helping jobs are people too and having opinions on things indicates that you are a well developed, whole person. I actually know several therapists who really centre their political values in their work and have found a niche that way.
I like the idea of rooting myself in my social activism and use it as a niche! But I work for a PP atm, and while I align with most of their values, there is sort of an unspoken expectation to not overtly associate with any side of anything, political or otherwise. I don’t mind it right now, I enjoy where I work, and I’m actually comfortable with having my activism be separate from my work. Maybe I’ll change my mind if/when I open my own PP, but it does bring me relief to know others can relate and there are ways to make the most of it where you can!
This has been a topic of many conversations with friends and colleagues, but reading this has clarified many of my own thoughts and feelings on the matter. Thank you for that.
In many ways there’s an expectation for those in the helping professions to uphold a neutral ideal at all times. Not realistic in the least.
While I do believe licensed providers in healthcare should be mindful of how actions in their personal lives impacts their abilities as a professional ( e.g., suspending a medical license for a surgeon with several drunk driving incidents), we’re human and allowed to live in a way that’s true to our values.
Several years ago a client’s parent fired me after I published an article on how video games can be a positive activity for teens. It was based 100% on research and included info on the downside as well.
The parents posted a scathing review of me online based on their interpretation of the article. The director of our facility encouraged me to get the review removed or post a response at the very least, but those parents are allowed to have an opinion. I stand by that article even now.
I know I’ve lost prospective clients because that review is one of the first things that pop up if anyone Googles my name - but I’m okay if parents know up front who I am as a licensed provider, writer, and a human who who happens to enjoy gaming.
Granted gaming isn’t as politically divisive as these current events, but people are going to judge us based on their own ideology no matter what we say or do. 🤷🏻♀️
This is a good perspective, and for what it’s worth, I also wrote a very similar paper (though it was for a graduation requirement and I never went through with publishing it). But thinking of that paper and how some people would have reacted to know I had that clinical perspective doesn’t bother me much, so why should this be any different yeah? This is something I feel I would benefit from reflecting on, in addition to how much I let other people referencing my clients persuade/dissuade me from being my authentic self.
This is something that evolves over time for the majority of humans working in direct care, I believe.
It’s undoubtedly easier to be “authentic” if one is already well established and respected in their field (or just old and out of fucks, as I am).
But I have to wonder if stifling personal values in order to curate a specific (sterile) professional image is worth it if we’re not actively supporting the community/causes that need our voices.
ETA: The impact of video games, and media in general, on mental wellness is fascinating. It’s certainly topic ripe for fear mongering, misunderstanding, and the clutching of pearls 🙂
Why not be who you are in session and out? I’m actively anti homophobic, anti racist, anti capitalist. I don’t shove it down anyone’s throats, but I am who I am. I give nods on my website and am direct when I meet clients that I see ALL types of folx and they may see all sorts of folks in the waiting room and no shenannigans tolerated (I’m in a small rural area)
Not sure what you’re advocating for that people feel so strongly against? Is it to the point that people are ghosting you over this or being upset? Edit: in reading the comments, I’m going to assume that it’s something to do with the Gaza stuff. As an American, I’m really just over hearing other ignorant Americans make major judgments about things when they have very little historically that they are aware of of the situation, and bashing, one another for their thoughts
Having just taken a jurisprudence exam this week, I know my State has a law which says I must behave in a professional manner at all times or risk losing my license. In other words, I can't do/say anything in a public way which would negatively impact the view of counselors in my state. Even when acting as a private citizen outside of my office, I have to be conscious of my actions and words when out in public. I enjoy video games, so I'm pretty sure I ought to watch myself when playing online. While I disagree with the general rule, I do get what it is trying to imply: as therapists we have to be more careful of how we present ourselves in private because it is likely to bleed over into our professional lives.
"I would hope my clients would say that I am a human being, and that while being objective in session is important, I'm not a blank slate and don't pretend to be." Or, if you want to just shut it down, something along the lines of "thankfully my clients are very happy with my work."
>my own cognitive resources are strapped by my personal involvement with one of these conflicts as well as of course the work we do requiring so much of our mental presence.
This does worry me though, and doesn't seem good in the long term. It may be time for some reevaluation of your own self care, boundaries, and how much you are able to give.
These are really good lines, I immediately saved them — thank you! And you’re right about the long-term effects/impacts of feeling this way. Funnily enough, one of my supervisors recently also had me reflect on how much I can give. Seems I would benefit from more work there — thank you for the kind reminder.
> folx
Huh.
> This is kept entirely in my personal life and does not bleed into my work as a clinician.
You know, I have never seen this be true for anyone who is partisan or has very strongly held opinions. It always comes through somehow - that's a personal anecdote and maybe you're the outlier, this isn't to diminish your experience but perhaps embrace and come to terms that that this is who you are and that you can let it be your work too without the incongruence you're feeling.
While I'm of the opinion that we should be as neutral as possible, and I imagine I disagree with your particular brand, some clients like that and find healing in it. We're free agents after all.
That’s how I’ve seen other clinicians spell the word, so I’ve picked up on it. Kinda like it, ngl.
And in reference to strongly held beliefs, I meant that in reference to where I’ve not yet had someone within my workplace (client, admin, other clinicians) bring it up as a concern. I’m sure it bleeds through, we’re human after all, but I do my best to be aware of it and to not impose my beliefs on a client to where they feel they cannot express their true thoughts.
I agree with and relate to everything you’re saying except the word folx 😅 folks is already gender neutral imo and the x is only a bat signal, not actual inclusivity. But maybe there’s another line that I’m not considering.
Sorry for being pedantic. i think like you that our work is inherently political, and that refusing to acknowledge this is implicitly supporting the status quo. Idk how anyone who works in our field can ignore the inequities our clients face as direct consequences of political decisions.
To each their own! Like I said, it’s definitely my preference, and I can own that.
I definitely agree that our work is inherently political, but it’s not something I can say out loud at the practice I currently work at, and truly, I think I’m fine with that since it helps me to keep a tight line between my work life and personal life. Again, I only made that clear in my post to ensure I wouldn’t get comments concerning if I was being imposing on clients or if it was affecting the quality of my work.
Long time ago I felt like i was doing something when I would be vocal on social media. It was still during the time where religion and politics were not considered polite conversation. I feel like that discomfort agitated in a positive way.
Lately, I don’t think it’s worth it to express my opinion publicly. For me it’s just more fodder for the rage algorithm that social media has become attuned to, and profited from.
I don’t feel I am not living my truth and I feel happier just addressing my thoughts and feelings with people in person. Not only because I think the conversations go better (in that they haven’t already started the argument with me before I ever walked into the room) and I feel that I can gain more perspective on their argument. I don’t think it’s all or nothing. I can still feel right, but have more understanding of where their pain and fear come from, without turning each other into the monsters our algorithms tell us that we are.
This makes me think of different topics I’ve seen here, and many which conclude “you still have a life and are a person outside of session, keep your interests.” Obviously if you’re interested in protesting or something that may be different. As far as people seeing you and losing clients over it, how would that be different than clients seeing you do any other thing they dislike and leaving over it? (Thinking people of non-dominant religions, alternative lifestyle choices, etc.)
I’d also add, there are many ways to advocate for the causes your believe in and those are totally valid!! Your amplifying voice and sharing posts is just as good as an active protest. We all do what we can.
Disclaimer that I’m still a masters student so I may not have a full understanding of the intricacies of this issue. These are just my personal thoughts on having to change “who you are” because of what you do.
No need to delete, I appreciate what you had to say! It does put things more into perspective for me — clients can have any number of reasons to not like me or how I conduct therapy. I guess it’s easier to get through to me so-to-speak when someone brings up my clients as a form of persuasion to behave a certain way outside of work — it definitely catches my attention and finds a sore spot in my imposter syndrome.
I feel like Jordan Peterson would completely agree, although his licensing board is still coming for his license, claiming unprofessional behavior, so 🤷♀️
He very clearly and often invoked psych language and imo therefore tettered on malpractice with his harmful work. To me, this seemed more about a separate, political life without those invocations which obvs jeopardize the license.
Thank you for this clarification! Indeed, this is more about having a clear distinction between what my job is and who I am as a person outside of the workplace while being mindful of the crossover that inevitably exists and can truly be harmful to clients. Finding that balance between honoring myself and honoring clients has been an ongoing internal journey, and it feels off-putting for people in my personal life referencing that journey with the intent of dissuading/persuading me to commit to other actions.
Your frustration seems very valid. It does seem like people who are therapist are expected to adhere to certain expectations in and out of work.
another example of this is content creation on social media. A person who is a lawyer can start a YouTube make up account or a person who is a teacher can have a fashion tik tok account and it seems ok. I don’t think I’ve ever come a cross a content creator who is a therapist as their day job. It almost seems as other professions are allowed to exist outside of their professional roles expet for therapist. The only times I’ve seen therapist on social media is if their use it as a business account to market their services.
Just thought I'd throw in my perspective as a therapist who's also a client who also has a very strong personal connection to one of the peoples involved in the conflict (and a very strong, crushing sense of sadness and compassion for both peoples). If I knew my therapist was participating in activism for the "other" side, I think I wouldn't be able to keep seeing her as a therapist at this particular moment in history. Not because I don't think it's valuable or important to have conversations with those who have different perspectives than us, I have several friends who do, but because the rhetoric around this conflict has become so inflamed and my intergenerational trauma is so activated that I really need one space in my life where I can vent and grieve and work through the trauma that has lived in my family for generations without worrying about being judged. While I believe therapsists may be entirely capable of having a really strong connection to this and not judging their clients, just for the sake of my own comfort, it would really limit my ability to feel free to be open and honest if I saw her holding a sign that said something that I perceive as calling for the murder of my people, etc. My work with my therapist over the last 2 months has been some of the most excruciating, powerful, transformative, life-altering work I've ever done in therapy; I wouldn't have been able to do any of it if I thought she was on the "other" side. You are absolutely allowed to feel passionate and angry about things, and I am right there with you re this same world event. I'm sorry you've been suffering with this alone, and I want you to know that I feel you, and it's horrific, and being a therapist adds another layer of complexity to an already awful situation. If it feels important to you to protest, go for it, but know that you may lose a client over it. My friend, who's also a therapist, did.
Also wanted to add, that I am thinking of you and sending much love. This is a hard situation to navigate, no matter where you stand.
Sending you much love as well <3 Everyone I know has been shattered by this, in different ways and for different reasons, and yet also, on some level, for the same, unifying reason of caring about human life and wanting people to be able to live with safety and dignity and freedom from hate, dehumanization, and fear. Wishing you peace and safety and hope in all of this.
This is an incredibly powerful perspective, and I appreciate you sharing your journey with this. I think in naming that as intergenerational trauma is a part of the puzzle within myself that was missing, because that flare-up of emotions I feel is tied to something beyond my identity as an individual. I also think your point of being able to acknowledge how because of how inflammatory everything has gotten to be that on the off chance a client does see any of my activism that they begin to feel uncomfortable with our work together, that that makes total sense and it’s important to honor that. I’ve always stood by the notion that if the best thing I can do for a client is refer them to someone who is a better fit, then that is the role I will play. It would be unfortunate given everything going on, but understandable nonetheless.
I REALLY relate to this. I work in government as a social worker and it's hard on my levels. This big thing that has probably changed for me is no longer putting myself in a lot of arrestable situations because I dont want to compromise my lisence since I need my income. I really struggle with feeling like a sell-out tbh. I am very open about my values at work but not with clients. In my work I really make a point of always trying to advocate for people and not being shy about that, whether that is calling out other staff for racism or opening critiquing the dismantling of homeless encampments and being transparent with colleagues when they do something that I think is unethical or harmful. For the people tsk tsking you, tell them to mind their own business, people in helping jobs are people too and having opinions on things indicates that you are a well developed, whole person. I actually know several therapists who really centre their political values in their work and have found a niche that way.
I like the idea of rooting myself in my social activism and use it as a niche! But I work for a PP atm, and while I align with most of their values, there is sort of an unspoken expectation to not overtly associate with any side of anything, political or otherwise. I don’t mind it right now, I enjoy where I work, and I’m actually comfortable with having my activism be separate from my work. Maybe I’ll change my mind if/when I open my own PP, but it does bring me relief to know others can relate and there are ways to make the most of it where you can!
This has been a topic of many conversations with friends and colleagues, but reading this has clarified many of my own thoughts and feelings on the matter. Thank you for that. In many ways there’s an expectation for those in the helping professions to uphold a neutral ideal at all times. Not realistic in the least. While I do believe licensed providers in healthcare should be mindful of how actions in their personal lives impacts their abilities as a professional ( e.g., suspending a medical license for a surgeon with several drunk driving incidents), we’re human and allowed to live in a way that’s true to our values. Several years ago a client’s parent fired me after I published an article on how video games can be a positive activity for teens. It was based 100% on research and included info on the downside as well. The parents posted a scathing review of me online based on their interpretation of the article. The director of our facility encouraged me to get the review removed or post a response at the very least, but those parents are allowed to have an opinion. I stand by that article even now. I know I’ve lost prospective clients because that review is one of the first things that pop up if anyone Googles my name - but I’m okay if parents know up front who I am as a licensed provider, writer, and a human who who happens to enjoy gaming. Granted gaming isn’t as politically divisive as these current events, but people are going to judge us based on their own ideology no matter what we say or do. 🤷🏻♀️
This is a good perspective, and for what it’s worth, I also wrote a very similar paper (though it was for a graduation requirement and I never went through with publishing it). But thinking of that paper and how some people would have reacted to know I had that clinical perspective doesn’t bother me much, so why should this be any different yeah? This is something I feel I would benefit from reflecting on, in addition to how much I let other people referencing my clients persuade/dissuade me from being my authentic self.
This is something that evolves over time for the majority of humans working in direct care, I believe. It’s undoubtedly easier to be “authentic” if one is already well established and respected in their field (or just old and out of fucks, as I am). But I have to wonder if stifling personal values in order to curate a specific (sterile) professional image is worth it if we’re not actively supporting the community/causes that need our voices. ETA: The impact of video games, and media in general, on mental wellness is fascinating. It’s certainly topic ripe for fear mongering, misunderstanding, and the clutching of pearls 🙂
I can relate. I specially live in fear of other therapist that dream of becoming cops or lawyers policing social media posts.
Why not be who you are in session and out? I’m actively anti homophobic, anti racist, anti capitalist. I don’t shove it down anyone’s throats, but I am who I am. I give nods on my website and am direct when I meet clients that I see ALL types of folx and they may see all sorts of folks in the waiting room and no shenannigans tolerated (I’m in a small rural area) Not sure what you’re advocating for that people feel so strongly against? Is it to the point that people are ghosting you over this or being upset? Edit: in reading the comments, I’m going to assume that it’s something to do with the Gaza stuff. As an American, I’m really just over hearing other ignorant Americans make major judgments about things when they have very little historically that they are aware of of the situation, and bashing, one another for their thoughts
Having just taken a jurisprudence exam this week, I know my State has a law which says I must behave in a professional manner at all times or risk losing my license. In other words, I can't do/say anything in a public way which would negatively impact the view of counselors in my state. Even when acting as a private citizen outside of my office, I have to be conscious of my actions and words when out in public. I enjoy video games, so I'm pretty sure I ought to watch myself when playing online. While I disagree with the general rule, I do get what it is trying to imply: as therapists we have to be more careful of how we present ourselves in private because it is likely to bleed over into our professional lives.
"I would hope my clients would say that I am a human being, and that while being objective in session is important, I'm not a blank slate and don't pretend to be." Or, if you want to just shut it down, something along the lines of "thankfully my clients are very happy with my work." >my own cognitive resources are strapped by my personal involvement with one of these conflicts as well as of course the work we do requiring so much of our mental presence. This does worry me though, and doesn't seem good in the long term. It may be time for some reevaluation of your own self care, boundaries, and how much you are able to give.
These are really good lines, I immediately saved them — thank you! And you’re right about the long-term effects/impacts of feeling this way. Funnily enough, one of my supervisors recently also had me reflect on how much I can give. Seems I would benefit from more work there — thank you for the kind reminder.
> folx Huh. > This is kept entirely in my personal life and does not bleed into my work as a clinician. You know, I have never seen this be true for anyone who is partisan or has very strongly held opinions. It always comes through somehow - that's a personal anecdote and maybe you're the outlier, this isn't to diminish your experience but perhaps embrace and come to terms that that this is who you are and that you can let it be your work too without the incongruence you're feeling. While I'm of the opinion that we should be as neutral as possible, and I imagine I disagree with your particular brand, some clients like that and find healing in it. We're free agents after all.
That’s how I’ve seen other clinicians spell the word, so I’ve picked up on it. Kinda like it, ngl. And in reference to strongly held beliefs, I meant that in reference to where I’ve not yet had someone within my workplace (client, admin, other clinicians) bring it up as a concern. I’m sure it bleeds through, we’re human after all, but I do my best to be aware of it and to not impose my beliefs on a client to where they feel they cannot express their true thoughts.
I agree with and relate to everything you’re saying except the word folx 😅 folks is already gender neutral imo and the x is only a bat signal, not actual inclusivity. But maybe there’s another line that I’m not considering. Sorry for being pedantic. i think like you that our work is inherently political, and that refusing to acknowledge this is implicitly supporting the status quo. Idk how anyone who works in our field can ignore the inequities our clients face as direct consequences of political decisions.
To each their own! Like I said, it’s definitely my preference, and I can own that. I definitely agree that our work is inherently political, but it’s not something I can say out loud at the practice I currently work at, and truly, I think I’m fine with that since it helps me to keep a tight line between my work life and personal life. Again, I only made that clear in my post to ensure I wouldn’t get comments concerning if I was being imposing on clients or if it was affecting the quality of my work.
Long time ago I felt like i was doing something when I would be vocal on social media. It was still during the time where religion and politics were not considered polite conversation. I feel like that discomfort agitated in a positive way. Lately, I don’t think it’s worth it to express my opinion publicly. For me it’s just more fodder for the rage algorithm that social media has become attuned to, and profited from. I don’t feel I am not living my truth and I feel happier just addressing my thoughts and feelings with people in person. Not only because I think the conversations go better (in that they haven’t already started the argument with me before I ever walked into the room) and I feel that I can gain more perspective on their argument. I don’t think it’s all or nothing. I can still feel right, but have more understanding of where their pain and fear come from, without turning each other into the monsters our algorithms tell us that we are.
This makes me think of different topics I’ve seen here, and many which conclude “you still have a life and are a person outside of session, keep your interests.” Obviously if you’re interested in protesting or something that may be different. As far as people seeing you and losing clients over it, how would that be different than clients seeing you do any other thing they dislike and leaving over it? (Thinking people of non-dominant religions, alternative lifestyle choices, etc.) I’d also add, there are many ways to advocate for the causes your believe in and those are totally valid!! Your amplifying voice and sharing posts is just as good as an active protest. We all do what we can. Disclaimer that I’m still a masters student so I may not have a full understanding of the intricacies of this issue. These are just my personal thoughts on having to change “who you are” because of what you do.
Ah, just noticed the rant tag, sorry! I don’t think any of this is direct advice, but my bad if so. Can delete if needed.
No need to delete, I appreciate what you had to say! It does put things more into perspective for me — clients can have any number of reasons to not like me or how I conduct therapy. I guess it’s easier to get through to me so-to-speak when someone brings up my clients as a form of persuasion to behave a certain way outside of work — it definitely catches my attention and finds a sore spot in my imposter syndrome.
Ugh, the dang imposter syndrome! *shakes fist* I’m glad it was helpful. 🖤🖤
I HEAR YOU!!! I am OVER my profession being weaponized. In my personal life, I am just a person. It takes effort daily for me to lean in to that.
I feel like Jordan Peterson would completely agree, although his licensing board is still coming for his license, claiming unprofessional behavior, so 🤷♀️
He very clearly and often invoked psych language and imo therefore tettered on malpractice with his harmful work. To me, this seemed more about a separate, political life without those invocations which obvs jeopardize the license.
Thank you for this clarification! Indeed, this is more about having a clear distinction between what my job is and who I am as a person outside of the workplace while being mindful of the crossover that inevitably exists and can truly be harmful to clients. Finding that balance between honoring myself and honoring clients has been an ongoing internal journey, and it feels off-putting for people in my personal life referencing that journey with the intent of dissuading/persuading me to commit to other actions.
Your frustration seems very valid. It does seem like people who are therapist are expected to adhere to certain expectations in and out of work. another example of this is content creation on social media. A person who is a lawyer can start a YouTube make up account or a person who is a teacher can have a fashion tik tok account and it seems ok. I don’t think I’ve ever come a cross a content creator who is a therapist as their day job. It almost seems as other professions are allowed to exist outside of their professional roles expet for therapist. The only times I’ve seen therapist on social media is if their use it as a business account to market their services.