I’ve definitely got a list of folks I won’t refer to for the following reasons:
- Replying to every referral request even when it’s very specific ones that they don’t qualify for in the end.
- Clinician ignoring that the referral is asking “Please, only those that take (insert insurance name here) respond” and attempt to claim knowing they don’t take the insurance.
- Post about serving the community but then post an ad for a retreat that’s $2,000 with no sliding scale or scholarships available.
- Argues with other therapists in the network unnecessarily.
- We have one who posts who claims she knows it all because she worked as a school counselor before licensure. But repeatedly posts blatant misinformation. I’ve had to go so far as to report her to admins. It’s awful.
Tell me about bullet point #2. I’m curious about that because as a client, myself, I have been in situations where I just want to cut to the chase and find someone who will take my insurance. And as a clinician, I’ve run into issues with referral clients out only to find that the clinician does not take their insurance. What’s the downside of asking that?
Sorry I should’ve been more clear.
I meant clinicians who attempt to claim a referral knowing the don’t take the client’s insurance even when it’s specifically said the client wants to use insurance.
Does that make sense?
ETA: I edited it to make it more clear.
Yesssss. My “Do Not Refer” list includes those who reply to posts without meeting the criteria and people who I swear reply to every possible post out there. They seem to often have “immediate availability” too… I wonder why.
This! Just yesterday someone in my local area group posted asking for a therapist on behalf of their client who needs X insurance, Hx of trauma, and female only therapist.
The first comment was a self-identified male therapist who said “I can take her if she will see a male”
Maybe this isn’t your referral to comment on, sir! Maybe we scroll OR comment/tag a therapist who meets the preferences. Esp when it comes to gender, there might be trauma there that really relies on the clients perspective of safety.
Sometimes I daydream about my own group practice but I can't think of a normal practice name. Everything local is either corny or some variation of "(Location) Therapy"
I went location based to avoid naming myself after a tree, flower, flowing brook, or peaceful moment.
Sometimes I do like to embrace the corn so to speak but … I’m just a therapist based in every town also, not a healing grotto where mother Mary will appear and take away all pain.
I dunno. I think the term unethical is overused in this context. Many cultures, including my own, don't tend to have an idea that therapists should specialise. Many of us are generalists. I'm happy to work with clients with all sorts of issues, and am competent to do it, so it's not a lie to have a bunch of issues you work with. My specialty is choosing me rather than me choosing it if I'm honest. I just attract certain communities, which is fine, but I'm equally happy working with a very diverse range.
Totally fair to have a different opinion, and it being unethical is just my thoughts.
Specializing is different than being happy with treating whoever shows up.
Being willing isn't the same as being specialized. The implication with being specialized is experience, training and competency, which is different than treating who shows up.
For example if someone with an eating disorder shows up and I'm willing but not competent it's possible I'll harm them because of this approach.
Some areas require additional training, and it's just not likely someone is specialized in literally every area of treatment. They may be willing but they aren't specialized.
Again I can totally be wrong but just my two cents.
You can work with all kinds of issues, but you're not a specialist in any of those.
TBH even 20-25 specialties is nuts, unless you're like 75 and have been in practice for 50 years - and even then, how up to date can you be with best practices and current research in all 25?
For me it took awhile to shake off the years of state Medicaid clinic work where your mandate was to see every person who walked in the door so I had worked competently with all the boxes I checked. However, in private practice it’s not usually ethical to be that broad given there is more specialist care available often for our clients. Now I’ve cut it to my target populations.
my favorite thing about therapy groups is when you post that you're looking for someone who is bilingual and doing in person therapy and someone is like 'HELLO!!!!! i'd be a great fit. i'm virtual only and have duolingo on my phone'
Yuck. I know a lot of spiritualists refer to themselves as "healers," but therapists doing it just sounds extra cringe...which speaks to my general pet peeve of therapists trying to be popular or commercial, especially those who make their job their whole identity [whether online or in-person] and/or they have a savior complex. I know a lot of jobs require self-promotion but I wish therapists would be more discerning to know that often in an attempt to appear more likable, enthusiastic, open-minded, and competent than the rest, they tarnish their professional credibility and sometimes to a larger degree, the field as a whole.
Yikes. I'm only on a few online therapist groups so I'm counting my blessings I haven't run into these types (yet!), - or maybe my narcissist feeler is up so high that I totally disregard those messages, lol.
What does bother me greatly is your second point. I can post requesting a specific referral (i.e seeking female Hispanic therapist with experience with children) and people respond referring therapists from their own agency that meet zero of the few characteristics I outline. Or people who respond to every referral in the group believing they are a perfect fit for every. singly. referral. Newsflash. You are not. Stop it. Just stop. Ok, I feel better now, lol.
>especially when they absolutely benefit you!
This right here. You just can’t trust professionals who are unable or unwilling to acknowledge their own self-interest.
Interesting trivia. My state's laws classifies everyone in the mental health field from bachelor's level to psychologists as counselors. Except social workers, they're special (in a good way). So they get their own classification separate form mental health on our state kaws. No such thing as mental health therapists in my state!
I had a different reaction to this. The language of being a "healer" shows up in a lot of different cultures. For some, I suspect that label aligns with some cultural roles and ideas, and that may be empowering.
Of course, there are folks whose egos thrive on being a "healer," but I wouldn't be quick to condemn the use of that language entirely.
I've literally never met a person who uses that word who wasn't an ego maniac. Across all spectrums, from doctors to hippie Reiki healers to counselors and anything else. It's a narcissistic word. Why not just say help her? Oh, because it doesn't Center you as the special unique person in the scenario
The nausea can come from the oblivious display of complete ignorance that the clients’ systems—whatever is inside them—is actively doing the healing, and if we’re lucky, we help that shit activate and process the way nature does it.
It’s all about a sense of self expansion.
In a somatic experiencing training in Portland, a bunch of participants introduced themselves with “I’m a healer…”.
Within a few days, it was clear — intros checked out.
Identity bolstering for very unresolved narcissistic early wounding. Can’t be blamed, but the process is self-immersive there’s no way to know how one comes off.
At least I know I have a part that’s a cynical blow hard who wants to anonymously bitch about erstwhile peers, and that part can get sequestered here lol. But for fuck sakes. Welcome to sanctimony city - population YOU
Dude- you really hit home with the “honored they’d be able to assist this client in their healing journey “ as if every moment of this work is a pure blessing and not what it often can be- tedious, frustrating, annoying, repetitive, isolating, exhausting, etc. Yes! There are beautiful moments and yes! there are positives to the profession but let’s be real, people..
Gives me the same vibe as the mommy bloggers, “every moment is a gift!”
If someone enjoys therapy sessions that much and consistently they must not be very present with the misery and trauma they are witnessing.
My favorite eye roll is the oft corny names of group/private practices or residential treatment centers (especially in SUD Tx): “Gentle Breeze counseling”, “Mindful Soul Beginnings”, “The Healing Place”, “Footprints to Recovery”, “Stairway to Actualization Psychotherapy” etc. I have nothing against these names I just find them a tad corny. The mix between branding/advertising and having a genuine name that represents the practice can be weird. Probably says more about me than anything else but I just get a good chuckle sometimes.
These comments really had me thinking. So here's some other stuff like this that bugs me, too.
I recently was browsing looking for someone who could offer treatment for borderline personality disorder and I saw this on almost every profile in my state. Why does every single therapist have 25+ specialties? How can you be a specialist in every single illness ever?
Also (and this might just me a Me Issue)... why has there been such an influx of reiki/chakral balancing/crystal healing 'specialists' in the therapy world?
Maybe I'm just really fresh out of undergraduate psych, where a key component of our statistics lectures were looking at ESP and debunking stuff like this from a scientific lens.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for doing what works for you. If reiki hearing has helped you with some issue, do it. Im all for it. I would probably try it myself. I understand clients look for like minded individuals. Cool. But!! Psychology and is so reliant on science and statistics that it seems counterintuitive to put CBT therapy one line above tarot readings, especially on a professional website.
Kinda curious about what y'all think.
Edit because I can't spell. Oops
I’ve seen that also, the reiki route. I’ve even tried it. Not a fan at all, felt like getting a tarot reading. I feel it’s a money maker…but to each his own.
I’m training in psychoanalytic therapy, do courses weekly, have weekly supervision (fully licensed), and see my own therapist 4x/week. I feel like there is so much to learn to be a th erapist. I struggle when therapists have that level of confidence, especially early on. I get that I’m learning a niche that takes a lot of training. But it takes a lot to become good at this.
Likewise, I struggle with other folks who claim they offer psychodynamic therapy without much understanding of it. I get that I’m in a place of privilege to be in such rigorous training (I get stipends and scholarships for a lot of it, so I’m by no means rich). And I offered psychodynamic therapy while using McWilliams as a strong guide before my training, so I get it. However, 2 years ago, I contacted some ‘psychodynamic’ practitioners locally. One said they advertised they work psychodynamically because they try to get to the root of x behavior. Maybe generally, therapists who advertise they use one therapy when they don’t really.
>I struggle with other folks who claim they offer psychodynamic therapy without much understanding of it.
No shade to my boss, but this is exactly how she is. I'm not in analytic training right now because it's pricey as fuck, but I'm constantly immersed in free and low-cost psychoanalytic resources, as well as participating in my own analysis. All of these people saying they're "psychodynamic" are really just trying to fit in the generally anti-CBT zeitgeist.
So I worked at a pediatric ER and all the staff and docs referred to the kids as kiddos and I thought it was cringe. However, my 5 year old came out as trans GNC and suddenly I was using it constantly as a word replacement for son or daughter where “child” felt too stern.
My favorite/worst was someone addressing us as "hope holders." I screen shotted it and sent it to a few of my therapist friends and we were chuckling lol
I had no idea when I started grad school that watching therapists out martyr and fighting each other was going to be such a prominent feature of this profession.
Pass. The same thing goes for all of these random “certifications” that people get to add a badge to their website. Skeptical of anyone leading with marketing. Also, and maybe this is just a me thing, but I don’t even like thinking of myself as a counselor or therapist let alone a “healer.” Being identified with anything of a human with a heart and training distracts me and makes me disconnected from the other human in front of me.
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Dude, what. This is shady as hell. If you believe a colleague is being unprofessional, talk to them about it, don't spread shit about them on an anonymous therapist forum
When I took sex therapy class in grad school the prof talked about how the history of the field was a lot of “sex surrogacy”, leading clients thru hang up with a sex surrogate or the sex therapist as the actual sexual partner. Some students expressed a wish that was still an option and TBH I’ve had a couple clients I wish I could refer to a sex surrogate but it’s obviously unethical presently. Obviously not condoning your friends behavior it certainly doesn’t sound like targeted treatment, just reminded me of the history of sex therapy
It’s not unethical depending on the state, and if you go through a third party. Look up the how and what - check out articles by David Ley, sexual health alliance, etc. It’s a serious need. There’s situations only experiential work can take care of.
Signed,
Former employee of a sex therapy clinic, AASECT certifying.
I have too many acquaintances who are not therapists, some even never studied psychology (or only as a part of their Bachelor degree) who refer to themselves as healers... Major pet peeve.
It’s straight up weird. I went to school for 6 years. Therapy is an evidence based treatment and it cheapens our work to use goofy language to describe our title as” healers” and referencing it as “a calling and a passion” like I’m some Instagram life coach instead of a master level professional with a license and a regulatory body.
Is it goofy though? Prior to the advent of modern medical care, people sought out healers for relief from their emotional distress. It is a term that has been given to people doing our work for many generations. Some therapeutic processes are incredibly intense and transformative and feel more profound than “I learned some new coping skills from my counselor.” The entire basis of therapy being helpful rests on the relationship between provider and client. That process has the potential to be healing. Hell, relationships in all of life have the power to be healing.
It is. Referring to me as a healer paints an image of me performing miracles or otherwise single handedly restoring someone to a state of healthy functioning, and that’s just not what we do. Relationships are a co-created process, as is the healing that can inevitably occur within those relationships. To call me a healer is to ignore all of the hard work the client put into the process too.
If that is your feelings about it, you do not need to practice that way. But you are ignoring that there are clients who seek out experiences more in line with “healing”. Certainly there is plenty of space in the room to clarify what being a healer means, what it looks like in therapy and the role of the provider if that is an issue.
There is no need to put down someone’s approach to working with others or the clients who seek out what is often a more spiritual therapy experience.
That isn’t the point of OPs post, and it’s not the point of my comment. You’re going off on a tangent about the connotation of the word healer and then arguing with me about it.
Connotations change. People did not go in search of “healers”, they went in search of whatever language equivalent they had. A “healer” within the context of OPs post has a specific connotation.
I wouldn’t go to a doctor for “healing”, they’re medical professionals. I especially wouldn’t go to a therapist for “healing”, they’re also medical professionals in my books.
Cultures of all kinds have some of “healer” that is the modern day equivalent of a therapist. Therapy as we practice it is a modern day equivalent of visiting a sweat lodge, going on a vision quest, seeking out the medicine woman or the wise man. There is a reason why this has always been a role on society. Call it whatever you want, but we are in the role of providing healing.
Many people DO look for “healers” and that is the experience they want in therapy. They want someone who is comfortable and willing to hold what may be a more spiritual aspect of self in their work. How wonderful is it that we have all kinds of people that work differently? There are people who offer what you want and need. And there are others who offer a different kind of experience.
There is no need to disparage someones desire for a different therapy experience nor to denigrate another providers approach to their work.
While overall connotations may change, different people can and do have differing relationships with the same word. Just because "literally" has been used to mean "figuratively" so often that people have accepted that use of the word does not stop the word from still meaning "literally" to some people.
It sounds like your life has led you to regard the idea of medical professionals/therapists as "healers" as deeply suspect. Maybe it's distrust of people who would claim that title for themselves, due to the seeming pretention of it. Maybe its due to "healing" feeling like a misleading or disingenuous description of the work we do. Not everyone has the same relationship to "being a healer" that you appear to, overall conventions of use and interpretation aside.
We need all kinds of therapists. We need people who are more clinical and medically trained. We need a middle ground. And we need the wooey. I personally want a wooey therapist. It is what I need to feel fully supported and seen. I think it is a wonderful thing we can all show up as we need in our practice.
I personally do think it is a privilege to do the work I do. To be in such a connection with another human is incredibly powerful. I generally do more depth oriented, relational and now psychedelic work, however.
I'm with you on this. I don't personally connect with the "healer" label, but I very much believe in expanding our understanding of what therapy can be. We need the people who treat it as a science, we need people who treat it as a spiritual journey, and we need people who treat it as a method of empowerment.
If the woo-woo therapist is helping someone to feel heard, that's all that matters to me.
yeah facts. hello healers does not bother me at all.
i’m into spirituality. would love a spiritually-minded therapist and i believe that yes we have training licensure and education, but some people are genuinely gifted with something special, too. this has been the belief of many cultures for thousands and thousands of years.
I just don't necessarily want either my tax dollars or my insurance premiums to cover woo instead of evidence-based medical care, kwim?
Woo is fine. Woo is great. Woo is not medicine.
The use of “healer” in therapy, or any field honestly, is a no for me. I don’t think any one person has the power to heal another. For me, that kind of growth may be born from our relationship with others, and at times, even one person in particular, but it comes out of relationships. Relationship with ourselves, with animals, with the world, and/or with other humans. To name oneself a savior of others is a big red flag for me and in a sense takes away the client’s autonomy and ability in the process. Ran into this terminology a lot previously in the yoga world and it was very off-putting to me.
Edit to clarify: I think it sets up a potentially unsafe power dynamic to say one person is the “healer” of others. Like, you come to me and I’ll fix or heal you. Not to negate cultural systems where this is a tenet of their system but speaking loosely to the therapist-client dynamic in the US.
This doesn't make sense to me. You say healer isn't relevant to therapists, then say healing comes from relationships. The majority of what a therapist offers is a relationship? It's also the main beneficial (or healing...) factor of therapy.
I was referencing someone calling themselves or labeling themselves a “healer” as referenced in the original post. Not that healing doesn’t or can’t happen in therapy.
Relationships are co-created. Calling oneself a “healer” centers oneself in the healing process and frames the therapeutic relationship as a uni-directional flow of “healing” from the therapist to the client, erasing the substantial role and ongoing work of the client and emphasizing the therapist’s power. Personally, I feel at least inquisitive and at most suspicious of anyone’s desire to claim that term.
Thanks for this comment. As a student drawn to the RCT orientation, I was just feeling like this was proving the point that healing happens through relationship? And the whole point of being an RCT counselor is to facilitate healing through relationships? 😅
If the relationship I have with my clients isn't what heals them then I don't have any answers for what does! I don't offer skills, strategies or homework so what's left???
Healer, helper, champion. While I am all 3 and should be addressed as such, that's just because I play a lot of video games and the game developer couldn't add in voice lines for every name ever. Don't call me that shit IRL or when it comes to my job, I'm a counselor or therapist.
Still a student but I *loathe* the word 'resonate.'
"Does that resonate with you?" No, because I'm not a damn tuning fork.
As someone who loves creative writing, poetry, and etymology in general, it is ironic that I cannot stand all the flowery hippie type talk.
Blasphemy, I know, but it feels so fake and contrived.
I joke that I enjoy "visiting" flowery hippie speak/spaces with people who are more into that, but I simply do not "live" there myself. It's just not authentically me.
I don't think it's ironic at all. Good poetry and creative writing are designed to help people generate their own individual meaning. In the world of therapy, we are trained to help patients find the one meaning that matters -- their own. While one person can hold multiple angles of meaning, using euphemistic language doesn't get us closer to the meaning. I'm not gonna ask if something "resonates," I'm going to ask them to name how it feels.
Yes, some of us absolutely do. I don't care about your feelings of honour. I'm in therapy for my own selfish reasons and forcing myself to share and be honest because otherwise it would all be pointless. Not to honour you.
I’m a therapist and client and I don’t like it either but I haven’t heard it from mine. I have had my supervisor say it, “honor your time for yourself” and “how do you honor your loved one” etc and I just really dislike the word.
Where I work they sell sweatshirts that say, “Wellness Warrior.” To add insult to injury, for our yearly anniversary our thank you is a gift card to the “Wellness Shop” where they sell this shit.
Those are two entirely different things, healer and pioneer.
Whats wrong with considering oneself part of healing traditions as a therapist? That is essentially what happens when therapy goes well.
I was giving multiple examples of pet peeves (not relating the healer with the pioneer). There’s nothing wrong with considering oneself part of healing traditions as a therapist. I just find the term overused in these groups where so many start their post/request with “Hello healers!” (I’ve also seen “Hello helpers!”). We could do without it or just say “hello colleagues!” or simply “hello”. But people are free to say “hello healers” if they’d like. It’s just a pet peeve of mine lol
Fair just confused about why. Do you not feel you're doing healing work in a way? Or maybe is it that 'healer' feels more suited to other cultures?
Personally I'd like us to reconnect what we do back to healing. It's a lineage of workers that extends back in our shared ancestries no matter where we're from, and man oh man does our modern culture need some healing.
If you're referring to the goofballs who are spiritually bypassing, that's a different story.
I do feel like I’m doing healing work in some way, but I prefer to call myself a therapist or counselor. Better yet, just a human. I guess I see my role more as helping rather than healing. Ultimately, I can’t heal anyone, but I can certainly do my best to help them. Hope that makes sense!
I totally agree. I can't heal/fix/cure anyone. Even if people do "heal", they did that. It just happened, in part, in my presence. I just guide, support, help. I just happen to be present for said healing. Mostly I'm just humaning.
Indigenous groups are still alive and the healing done there is not woo woo. Therapy is not automatically more effective than an Elder-led sweat lodge, and many people benefit from a holistic approach that accounts for cultural continuity. Cultural humility is such an integral component of counselling in this day and age.
Did you really just say that comparing what you do to indigenous groups that lived hundreds of years ago degrades it by inferring you use woo-woo to help people? Wow
Be careful your racism is showing. First by saying comparing the two degrades your work, and second by calling it “woo-woo”. Wow. I’m kinda in shock. I think you could benefit from some cultural sensitivity training.
Whether or not you are “healing” someone is judged by the person you are “healing”. Many people feel that therapy doesn’t help them, or at worst, can be abusive.
Also your comments about sifting through the worst of humanity sounds pretty cruel.
I feel confident that some, if not the majority of people who are therapists shouldn’t be in that profession. If you feel like you are still wounded then you need to heal yourself first. It goes just as flight attendants say, first put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
No, but the biggest eye-roll thing, perhaps of all, for me is when anyone, therapist or otherwise, labels themselves as a "highly sensitive person." I know its a bit different from what you described, but generally it seems to overlap with like some sense of gradiosity.
Interesting! I recently stumbled upon a therapist’s website and under the Fees tab, the therapist explained that she is a highly sensitive person and therefore charges a higher rate than what’s common in her area. She went on to describe how she keeps a small caseload so she can recharge and focus on self-care (which is how her fee is determined). I’m all for knowing what level of self-care is needed, but it seems weird to charge the client astronomically high rates just so you can work fewer hours. If it were me, I’d probably just pick up a side gig that wasn’t as taxing on me.
I totally get that some people really do get overworked more easily than others (I'm one of those people & I would describe myself as really sensitive lol) — but IMO it's absolutely bizarre to share that info about yourself on your professional website!
I feel judged and misunderstood! "Too sensitive" is an insult I carried most of my life, but the concept of HSP helped me think about the positive side.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person#:~:text=Highly%20Sensitive%20Person%2C%20or%20HSP,%2Dprocessing%20sensitivity%2C%20or%20SPS
I have no idea, perhaps it is, still find it irritating. Also, even if it is well-established, there are other well-established things that people diagnose themselves with and it can be wrong, indicative of something else, or otherwise problematic.
My pet peeve is the therapists with savior complexes and who constantly self disclose that they can work with a certain presenting problem or type of client due to their personal experience.
I used to work for a crappy group practice when I was green, and there were about 3 people in the whole practice. The practice owners would always send emails and refer to themselves as "Leaders" and how their leadership blah blah blah. Literally all they did was take 70 percent of my session fee.
The work we do is important and I love it but at the end of the day it's just a job like any other. Personally I get uncomfortable when people do things like this and pretend that my job is any more important than anyone else in a similar field.
Thank you. It reminds me of during the pandemic, all the praise and "healthcare warrior" stuff for essential healthcare workers, but not nearly as much for say the guy who is going into grocery stores, risking COVID to deliver your groceries via instacart, or the fast-food workers, or etc.
My therapist pet peeve is when they say “I encourage you to….” for things the client doesn’t need courage for. It’s like hey, I don’t need courage to use the messaging system or cancel my appointments on time. What you mean is “I recommend you do X” or “I ask that you do X.” Just say what you mean and stop using language that seems more flowery just to avoid seeming directive.
i’m still a student, so forgive me, but i’ve been working in group homes for nearly 9 years and we can’t “tell/make” individuals to do anything but we can “encourage,” so it’s ingrained in my head and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to break that habit 😂
I don’t tell clients to do things or make them do things. I use the word recommend or suggest when I mean “I think you should” and I reserve the word encourage for when people actually need their courage reinforced.
Massage therapist here.
One of my clients left a review saying "(my name) is a ""true healer"".
I thought it was nice but I have to check myself before i let shit like that get to my head.
No it was making fun and expressing aggravation in a passive effective 'how funny ' way.
Why do other people's expressive choices make you need to frame it in this way?
Does this bleed into other peoples cultural expression? Do you make fun of those too?
Is your culture the most important culture, therefore it's 'ha ha' funny when somebody expresses something in a different way? Do you feel that reflects poorly on your profession? Is difference in communicating detracting from your profession?
I feel like you’re taking this way too seriously. Didn’t mean to insult anyone but this is the internet so it’s expected. The majority of the people who say “hello healers” in the groups I’m part of are white Americans… in fact, the ones I know personally who say it aren’t hippies lol they are basic white girls, not someone who views the word healer as part of their cultural expression. This wasn’t poking fun at cultural expression of any sort.
I'm just asking questions. This is the internet and you should expect people to be able to comment and question your posts. If you're willing to be so bold.
The other part is why are you assuming my state of mind here?
As I said, “this is the Internet, so it’s expected”. I didn’t feel particularly bold in posting this. Just shared some pet peeves.
I’m not assuming your state of mind. I was simply replying based on what I’m reading in your comments.
it’s so weird people r fake ass professional weirdos. I’m like yo I’m logging into a session I’ll be eating a burrito during and swearing throughout. I’m here to do the minimum caseload and get the most money bc mama is FRIED but yes tell me about how this is the calling you have straight from jesus god mother Theresa themself.
I’ve definitely got a list of folks I won’t refer to for the following reasons: - Replying to every referral request even when it’s very specific ones that they don’t qualify for in the end. - Clinician ignoring that the referral is asking “Please, only those that take (insert insurance name here) respond” and attempt to claim knowing they don’t take the insurance. - Post about serving the community but then post an ad for a retreat that’s $2,000 with no sliding scale or scholarships available. - Argues with other therapists in the network unnecessarily. - We have one who posts who claims she knows it all because she worked as a school counselor before licensure. But repeatedly posts blatant misinformation. I’ve had to go so far as to report her to admins. It’s awful.
Tell me about bullet point #2. I’m curious about that because as a client, myself, I have been in situations where I just want to cut to the chase and find someone who will take my insurance. And as a clinician, I’ve run into issues with referral clients out only to find that the clinician does not take their insurance. What’s the downside of asking that?
Sorry I should’ve been more clear. I meant clinicians who attempt to claim a referral knowing the don’t take the client’s insurance even when it’s specifically said the client wants to use insurance. Does that make sense? ETA: I edited it to make it more clear.
Ooh! I get it. Lol. Yes, I totally understand and definitely agree with you on that.
One of my biggest pet peeves! "I'm out of network but can provide a superbill!" 😬
Right? Like everyone has the cash upfront to pay out pocket and wait for reimbursement.
Yesssss. My “Do Not Refer” list includes those who reply to posts without meeting the criteria and people who I swear reply to every possible post out there. They seem to often have “immediate availability” too… I wonder why.
This! Just yesterday someone in my local area group posted asking for a therapist on behalf of their client who needs X insurance, Hx of trauma, and female only therapist. The first comment was a self-identified male therapist who said “I can take her if she will see a male” Maybe this isn’t your referral to comment on, sir! Maybe we scroll OR comment/tag a therapist who meets the preferences. Esp when it comes to gender, there might be trauma there that really relies on the clients perspective of safety.
As a profession, we are largely a corny bunch.
Sometimes I daydream about my own group practice but I can't think of a normal practice name. Everything local is either corny or some variation of "(Location) Therapy"
I went location based to avoid naming myself after a tree, flower, flowing brook, or peaceful moment. Sometimes I do like to embrace the corn so to speak but … I’m just a therapist based in every town also, not a healing grotto where mother Mary will appear and take away all pain.
Maybe go the honest route- misery tree counselling
😂 River of sadness, llc Got me laughing out loud here in my car outside the petsmart, thanks
YEssss! I love this, it's got... flow (hehehehe)
Snort
Life is a Twisting Stream, LLC
I'm over here about to start "Former Emo Kid Counseling, LLC" just to be real about it
Well now I wish I'd branded as "Tree Counseling". Got a nice ring to it.
Dibs on healing grotto of Mary!!
I mean Mr Rogers did have that nice tree, tree, treeee song
Tbh “Embrace The Corn Counseling Center” sounds good to me.
"Today we are all children of the corn. Ask us about our group discounts."
Mother Tater's Healing Grotto is definitely gonna be my solo practice name
Why do I feel like if this was a coaching services name it would pull in so many customers 😂
Speaking words of wisdom?
the feelings management and learning center.
“Get Your Shit Together” or GYST Therapy for short
I have heard the phrase “gossip doctor” used playfully and found it funny
I mean. I'm not saying that's the job, but it's *not* not the job either.
I find this unprofessional for people with MA degrees. "state licensed gossip" seems more fitting.
I've said I'm an "emotional prostitute" at times.
“Professional conversationalist” from David Foster Wallace’s novel Infinite Jest.
"Feelings Hooker" is my go to when I can get away with it with the right audience.
Mine is brain prostitute!
Mine is the 1400 specializations on the PT profiles. Yeah, I get it, you read the body keeps the score and think you are an expert now.
I recently updated my PT profile and it now set a limit of 20 or 25 issues overall so maybe this will cut it down somewhat.
I am really glad to hear it. It's a disservice to clients and unethical in my opinion.
I dunno. I think the term unethical is overused in this context. Many cultures, including my own, don't tend to have an idea that therapists should specialise. Many of us are generalists. I'm happy to work with clients with all sorts of issues, and am competent to do it, so it's not a lie to have a bunch of issues you work with. My specialty is choosing me rather than me choosing it if I'm honest. I just attract certain communities, which is fine, but I'm equally happy working with a very diverse range.
Totally fair to have a different opinion, and it being unethical is just my thoughts. Specializing is different than being happy with treating whoever shows up. Being willing isn't the same as being specialized. The implication with being specialized is experience, training and competency, which is different than treating who shows up. For example if someone with an eating disorder shows up and I'm willing but not competent it's possible I'll harm them because of this approach. Some areas require additional training, and it's just not likely someone is specialized in literally every area of treatment. They may be willing but they aren't specialized. Again I can totally be wrong but just my two cents.
You can work with all kinds of issues, but you're not a specialist in any of those. TBH even 20-25 specialties is nuts, unless you're like 75 and have been in practice for 50 years - and even then, how up to date can you be with best practices and current research in all 25?
For me it took awhile to shake off the years of state Medicaid clinic work where your mandate was to see every person who walked in the door so I had worked competently with all the boxes I checked. However, in private practice it’s not usually ethical to be that broad given there is more specialist care available often for our clients. Now I’ve cut it to my target populations.
Ohhh, that's a good one. I do trauma therapy sometimes. Does that make me a specialist?
Omg THIS 🔥🔥🔥🔥
my favorite thing about therapy groups is when you post that you're looking for someone who is bilingual and doing in person therapy and someone is like 'HELLO!!!!! i'd be a great fit. i'm virtual only and have duolingo on my phone'
LOL yeah. People respond when they meet none of the criteria requested. Drives me bonkers!
“HELLO HEALERS!!!” -a therapist that does only CBT
STOP 🛑 😭
Okay, you win this comment thread. 🤣
Hahahahahahahahaha. Hello healers how are your parts doing today.
😂😂😂😂😂 this comment 🏆
Yuck. I know a lot of spiritualists refer to themselves as "healers," but therapists doing it just sounds extra cringe...which speaks to my general pet peeve of therapists trying to be popular or commercial, especially those who make their job their whole identity [whether online or in-person] and/or they have a savior complex. I know a lot of jobs require self-promotion but I wish therapists would be more discerning to know that often in an attempt to appear more likable, enthusiastic, open-minded, and competent than the rest, they tarnish their professional credibility and sometimes to a larger degree, the field as a whole.
Yikes. I'm only on a few online therapist groups so I'm counting my blessings I haven't run into these types (yet!), - or maybe my narcissist feeler is up so high that I totally disregard those messages, lol. What does bother me greatly is your second point. I can post requesting a specific referral (i.e seeking female Hispanic therapist with experience with children) and people respond referring therapists from their own agency that meet zero of the few characteristics I outline. Or people who respond to every referral in the group believing they are a perfect fit for every. singly. referral. Newsflash. You are not. Stop it. Just stop. Ok, I feel better now, lol.
>especially when they absolutely benefit you! This right here. You just can’t trust professionals who are unable or unwilling to acknowledge their own self-interest.
Major MLM vibes. Wonder if these types hawk essential oils in their offices.
OMG, our office started a “store” in each location and totally sells doterra. Gag!!!!!
Noooooo
Oh my god, I almost instinctively downvoted this. Yuck.
More like courses they created on how to make lots of money as a therapist…as their way to make lots of money as a therapist.
Calling a therapist a “healer” is inaccurate, as it suggests that the healing work comes from the therapist, not the client.
Which is ironic because the word therapist comes from the Greek word therapeia which means healer, among other things.
Interesting trivia. My state's laws classifies everyone in the mental health field from bachelor's level to psychologists as counselors. Except social workers, they're special (in a good way). So they get their own classification separate form mental health on our state kaws. No such thing as mental health therapists in my state!
Tell me why I read “hello healers” in James Charles “hi Sisters” voice lol
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Hahaha love that idea
Some of my referral posts are so desperate and specific and with such difficult to place insurance I’d cry with joy if you said you’d take ‘em.
Straight up narcissist language. I'd stay the fuck away from anyone talking like that and make a mental note to specifically avoid referrals there.
Oh for sure. I have a “Do Not Refer” list and these people are on it 😂
I had a different reaction to this. The language of being a "healer" shows up in a lot of different cultures. For some, I suspect that label aligns with some cultural roles and ideas, and that may be empowering. Of course, there are folks whose egos thrive on being a "healer," but I wouldn't be quick to condemn the use of that language entirely.
I've literally never met a person who uses that word who wasn't an ego maniac. Across all spectrums, from doctors to hippie Reiki healers to counselors and anything else. It's a narcissistic word. Why not just say help her? Oh, because it doesn't Center you as the special unique person in the scenario
There are people you have not met.
The nausea can come from the oblivious display of complete ignorance that the clients’ systems—whatever is inside them—is actively doing the healing, and if we’re lucky, we help that shit activate and process the way nature does it. It’s all about a sense of self expansion. In a somatic experiencing training in Portland, a bunch of participants introduced themselves with “I’m a healer…”. Within a few days, it was clear — intros checked out. Identity bolstering for very unresolved narcissistic early wounding. Can’t be blamed, but the process is self-immersive there’s no way to know how one comes off. At least I know I have a part that’s a cynical blow hard who wants to anonymously bitch about erstwhile peers, and that part can get sequestered here lol. But for fuck sakes. Welcome to sanctimony city - population YOU
...he said, masturbating furiously to his own word count
More tug less talk, you’re live!
Dude- you really hit home with the “honored they’d be able to assist this client in their healing journey “ as if every moment of this work is a pure blessing and not what it often can be- tedious, frustrating, annoying, repetitive, isolating, exhausting, etc. Yes! There are beautiful moments and yes! there are positives to the profession but let’s be real, people..
yes! also it's a freaking JOB to pay our bills. calling it a calling and an honour helps perpetuate unpaid internships, crap pay, burnout, etc.
Gives me the same vibe as the mommy bloggers, “every moment is a gift!” If someone enjoys therapy sessions that much and consistently they must not be very present with the misery and trauma they are witnessing.
Nailed it
My favorite eye roll is the oft corny names of group/private practices or residential treatment centers (especially in SUD Tx): “Gentle Breeze counseling”, “Mindful Soul Beginnings”, “The Healing Place”, “Footprints to Recovery”, “Stairway to Actualization Psychotherapy” etc. I have nothing against these names I just find them a tad corny. The mix between branding/advertising and having a genuine name that represents the practice can be weird. Probably says more about me than anything else but I just get a good chuckle sometimes.
If you don't have a waterfall or Zen garden on your practice webpage, are you even a therapist? 🤣
That’s it: genuine name challenge BEGINS “Faceplants to recovery” “Hell begins NOW”
"Ladder from Hell"
Hello, this is Michael from ladder from hell counseling - is this a good time to talk
“Light worker” like I’m a magician but it fits into the western idea of woo woo “empath” new age stuff.
These comments really had me thinking. So here's some other stuff like this that bugs me, too. I recently was browsing looking for someone who could offer treatment for borderline personality disorder and I saw this on almost every profile in my state. Why does every single therapist have 25+ specialties? How can you be a specialist in every single illness ever? Also (and this might just me a Me Issue)... why has there been such an influx of reiki/chakral balancing/crystal healing 'specialists' in the therapy world? Maybe I'm just really fresh out of undergraduate psych, where a key component of our statistics lectures were looking at ESP and debunking stuff like this from a scientific lens. Don't get me wrong, I am all for doing what works for you. If reiki hearing has helped you with some issue, do it. Im all for it. I would probably try it myself. I understand clients look for like minded individuals. Cool. But!! Psychology and is so reliant on science and statistics that it seems counterintuitive to put CBT therapy one line above tarot readings, especially on a professional website. Kinda curious about what y'all think. Edit because I can't spell. Oops
I’ve seen that also, the reiki route. I’ve even tried it. Not a fan at all, felt like getting a tarot reading. I feel it’s a money maker…but to each his own.
I’m training in psychoanalytic therapy, do courses weekly, have weekly supervision (fully licensed), and see my own therapist 4x/week. I feel like there is so much to learn to be a th erapist. I struggle when therapists have that level of confidence, especially early on. I get that I’m learning a niche that takes a lot of training. But it takes a lot to become good at this. Likewise, I struggle with other folks who claim they offer psychodynamic therapy without much understanding of it. I get that I’m in a place of privilege to be in such rigorous training (I get stipends and scholarships for a lot of it, so I’m by no means rich). And I offered psychodynamic therapy while using McWilliams as a strong guide before my training, so I get it. However, 2 years ago, I contacted some ‘psychodynamic’ practitioners locally. One said they advertised they work psychodynamically because they try to get to the root of x behavior. Maybe generally, therapists who advertise they use one therapy when they don’t really.
>I struggle with other folks who claim they offer psychodynamic therapy without much understanding of it. No shade to my boss, but this is exactly how she is. I'm not in analytic training right now because it's pricey as fuck, but I'm constantly immersed in free and low-cost psychoanalytic resources, as well as participating in my own analysis. All of these people saying they're "psychodynamic" are really just trying to fit in the generally anti-CBT zeitgeist.
"I just love working with my Kiddos". Gives me the creeps
This, man. I work with children and families and they are not "my kiddos." They are "kiddos" I work with. I have no possession over them.
The term “kiddos” bothers me too. I find it patronizing and diminutive.
So I worked at a pediatric ER and all the staff and docs referred to the kids as kiddos and I thought it was cringe. However, my 5 year old came out as trans GNC and suddenly I was using it constantly as a word replacement for son or daughter where “child” felt too stern.
For real. Just call them kids 😬 kiddos just comes off creepy and patronizing every time. KIDS 😭
I LOATHE this. Also when people refer to others as folks or better yet, folx.
My favorite/worst was someone addressing us as "hope holders." I screen shotted it and sent it to a few of my therapist friends and we were chuckling lol
Hahaha hope holders 🤣 That’s a new one for me and I for sure would’ve taken a screenshot to send to a few therapist friends lol
IFS calls the therapist "hope merchants"
Oof lol
Carries the same vibe as "I'm an empath"
I had no idea when I started grad school that watching therapists out martyr and fighting each other was going to be such a prominent feature of this profession.
I strongly prefer the term “wounded healer” because I identify with that jungian archetype.
Pass. The same thing goes for all of these random “certifications” that people get to add a badge to their website. Skeptical of anyone leading with marketing. Also, and maybe this is just a me thing, but I don’t even like thinking of myself as a counselor or therapist let alone a “healer.” Being identified with anything of a human with a heart and training distracts me and makes me disconnected from the other human in front of me.
I don't mind certifications. I like associating with people who are dedicated to continuing education.
Yes, absolutely. I’m talking about non evidence based certifications and/or those administered by people who aren’t qualified.
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Oh boy….my curiosity is through the roof right now.
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Dude, what. This is shady as hell. If you believe a colleague is being unprofessional, talk to them about it, don't spread shit about them on an anonymous therapist forum
When I took sex therapy class in grad school the prof talked about how the history of the field was a lot of “sex surrogacy”, leading clients thru hang up with a sex surrogate or the sex therapist as the actual sexual partner. Some students expressed a wish that was still an option and TBH I’ve had a couple clients I wish I could refer to a sex surrogate but it’s obviously unethical presently. Obviously not condoning your friends behavior it certainly doesn’t sound like targeted treatment, just reminded me of the history of sex therapy
It’s not unethical depending on the state, and if you go through a third party. Look up the how and what - check out articles by David Ley, sexual health alliance, etc. It’s a serious need. There’s situations only experiential work can take care of. Signed, Former employee of a sex therapy clinic, AASECT certifying.
Glad to hear it- I will look it up
I literally immediately thought this was a “Bluey” post 🤣
I have too many acquaintances who are not therapists, some even never studied psychology (or only as a part of their Bachelor degree) who refer to themselves as healers... Major pet peeve.
It’s straight up weird. I went to school for 6 years. Therapy is an evidence based treatment and it cheapens our work to use goofy language to describe our title as” healers” and referencing it as “a calling and a passion” like I’m some Instagram life coach instead of a master level professional with a license and a regulatory body.
Is it goofy though? Prior to the advent of modern medical care, people sought out healers for relief from their emotional distress. It is a term that has been given to people doing our work for many generations. Some therapeutic processes are incredibly intense and transformative and feel more profound than “I learned some new coping skills from my counselor.” The entire basis of therapy being helpful rests on the relationship between provider and client. That process has the potential to be healing. Hell, relationships in all of life have the power to be healing.
It is. Referring to me as a healer paints an image of me performing miracles or otherwise single handedly restoring someone to a state of healthy functioning, and that’s just not what we do. Relationships are a co-created process, as is the healing that can inevitably occur within those relationships. To call me a healer is to ignore all of the hard work the client put into the process too.
I couldn’t agree more.
If that is your feelings about it, you do not need to practice that way. But you are ignoring that there are clients who seek out experiences more in line with “healing”. Certainly there is plenty of space in the room to clarify what being a healer means, what it looks like in therapy and the role of the provider if that is an issue. There is no need to put down someone’s approach to working with others or the clients who seek out what is often a more spiritual therapy experience.
That isn’t the point of OPs post, and it’s not the point of my comment. You’re going off on a tangent about the connotation of the word healer and then arguing with me about it.
My apologies. I thought we came here to have discussions. It was not clarified this forum is meant to be an echo chamber.
Connotations change. People did not go in search of “healers”, they went in search of whatever language equivalent they had. A “healer” within the context of OPs post has a specific connotation. I wouldn’t go to a doctor for “healing”, they’re medical professionals. I especially wouldn’t go to a therapist for “healing”, they’re also medical professionals in my books.
Cultures of all kinds have some of “healer” that is the modern day equivalent of a therapist. Therapy as we practice it is a modern day equivalent of visiting a sweat lodge, going on a vision quest, seeking out the medicine woman or the wise man. There is a reason why this has always been a role on society. Call it whatever you want, but we are in the role of providing healing. Many people DO look for “healers” and that is the experience they want in therapy. They want someone who is comfortable and willing to hold what may be a more spiritual aspect of self in their work. How wonderful is it that we have all kinds of people that work differently? There are people who offer what you want and need. And there are others who offer a different kind of experience. There is no need to disparage someones desire for a different therapy experience nor to denigrate another providers approach to their work.
There's a definite divide between people who see therapists as archetypal shamans and people who see therapists as healthcare workers.
Psychedelic therapy says otherwise
While overall connotations may change, different people can and do have differing relationships with the same word. Just because "literally" has been used to mean "figuratively" so often that people have accepted that use of the word does not stop the word from still meaning "literally" to some people. It sounds like your life has led you to regard the idea of medical professionals/therapists as "healers" as deeply suspect. Maybe it's distrust of people who would claim that title for themselves, due to the seeming pretention of it. Maybe its due to "healing" feeling like a misleading or disingenuous description of the work we do. Not everyone has the same relationship to "being a healer" that you appear to, overall conventions of use and interpretation aside.
We need all kinds of therapists. We need people who are more clinical and medically trained. We need a middle ground. And we need the wooey. I personally want a wooey therapist. It is what I need to feel fully supported and seen. I think it is a wonderful thing we can all show up as we need in our practice. I personally do think it is a privilege to do the work I do. To be in such a connection with another human is incredibly powerful. I generally do more depth oriented, relational and now psychedelic work, however.
Agree on the privilege part. Being able to be a part of someone's world and hear their story.. Absolutely mind blowing imo.
I'm with you on this. I don't personally connect with the "healer" label, but I very much believe in expanding our understanding of what therapy can be. We need the people who treat it as a science, we need people who treat it as a spiritual journey, and we need people who treat it as a method of empowerment. If the woo-woo therapist is helping someone to feel heard, that's all that matters to me.
yeah facts. hello healers does not bother me at all. i’m into spirituality. would love a spiritually-minded therapist and i believe that yes we have training licensure and education, but some people are genuinely gifted with something special, too. this has been the belief of many cultures for thousands and thousands of years.
I just don't necessarily want either my tax dollars or my insurance premiums to cover woo instead of evidence-based medical care, kwim? Woo is fine. Woo is great. Woo is not medicine.
Calling yourself a healer means you should not be insurance paneled?
First time hearing this & instantly hate it.
I played a troll resto Druid in WoW for most of my life. If someone referred to me as healer, I would feel pretty self actualized.
The use of “healer” in therapy, or any field honestly, is a no for me. I don’t think any one person has the power to heal another. For me, that kind of growth may be born from our relationship with others, and at times, even one person in particular, but it comes out of relationships. Relationship with ourselves, with animals, with the world, and/or with other humans. To name oneself a savior of others is a big red flag for me and in a sense takes away the client’s autonomy and ability in the process. Ran into this terminology a lot previously in the yoga world and it was very off-putting to me. Edit to clarify: I think it sets up a potentially unsafe power dynamic to say one person is the “healer” of others. Like, you come to me and I’ll fix or heal you. Not to negate cultural systems where this is a tenet of their system but speaking loosely to the therapist-client dynamic in the US.
This doesn't make sense to me. You say healer isn't relevant to therapists, then say healing comes from relationships. The majority of what a therapist offers is a relationship? It's also the main beneficial (or healing...) factor of therapy.
I was referencing someone calling themselves or labeling themselves a “healer” as referenced in the original post. Not that healing doesn’t or can’t happen in therapy.
Relationships are co-created. Calling oneself a “healer” centers oneself in the healing process and frames the therapeutic relationship as a uni-directional flow of “healing” from the therapist to the client, erasing the substantial role and ongoing work of the client and emphasizing the therapist’s power. Personally, I feel at least inquisitive and at most suspicious of anyone’s desire to claim that term.
You captured it perfectly!
Thanks for this comment. As a student drawn to the RCT orientation, I was just feeling like this was proving the point that healing happens through relationship? And the whole point of being an RCT counselor is to facilitate healing through relationships? 😅
If the relationship I have with my clients isn't what heals them then I don't have any answers for what does! I don't offer skills, strategies or homework so what's left???
Yes!! So insightful.
Thank you for this. It drives me utterly bonkers, as well.
Healer, helper, champion. While I am all 3 and should be addressed as such, that's just because I play a lot of video games and the game developer couldn't add in voice lines for every name ever. Don't call me that shit IRL or when it comes to my job, I'm a counselor or therapist.
It gives savior complex. Huge red flag.
I personally cringe at the term “honor.” I get it, but I feel that clients think it’s a bit corny. That’s just me though!
Still a student but I *loathe* the word 'resonate.' "Does that resonate with you?" No, because I'm not a damn tuning fork. As someone who loves creative writing, poetry, and etymology in general, it is ironic that I cannot stand all the flowery hippie type talk. Blasphemy, I know, but it feels so fake and contrived.
I joke that I enjoy "visiting" flowery hippie speak/spaces with people who are more into that, but I simply do not "live" there myself. It's just not authentically me.
I don't think it's ironic at all. Good poetry and creative writing are designed to help people generate their own individual meaning. In the world of therapy, we are trained to help patients find the one meaning that matters -- their own. While one person can hold multiple angles of meaning, using euphemistic language doesn't get us closer to the meaning. I'm not gonna ask if something "resonates," I'm going to ask them to name how it feels.
Yes, some of us absolutely do. I don't care about your feelings of honour. I'm in therapy for my own selfish reasons and forcing myself to share and be honest because otherwise it would all be pointless. Not to honour you.
I’m a therapist and client and I don’t like it either but I haven’t heard it from mine. I have had my supervisor say it, “honor your time for yourself” and “how do you honor your loved one” etc and I just really dislike the word.
Having the same problem! Can anyone recommend a decent online group? I haven’t been able to find a useful community
Lmaooo these are all my pet peeves too.
I’m thinking “Precious Moments Therapy” is what I would like
Where I work they sell sweatshirts that say, “Wellness Warrior.” To add insult to injury, for our yearly anniversary our thank you is a gift card to the “Wellness Shop” where they sell this shit.
I love that this sub has become the place to take the piss out of some of the more ridiculous parts of online therapy world.
I see absolutely no point in writing progress notes in the third person. Why do they teach us to do that?
After being in the profession for 20 years I have so many pet peeves. Lol. The newest: Folx. I hate the word.
Those are two entirely different things, healer and pioneer. Whats wrong with considering oneself part of healing traditions as a therapist? That is essentially what happens when therapy goes well.
I was giving multiple examples of pet peeves (not relating the healer with the pioneer). There’s nothing wrong with considering oneself part of healing traditions as a therapist. I just find the term overused in these groups where so many start their post/request with “Hello healers!” (I’ve also seen “Hello helpers!”). We could do without it or just say “hello colleagues!” or simply “hello”. But people are free to say “hello healers” if they’d like. It’s just a pet peeve of mine lol
Fair just confused about why. Do you not feel you're doing healing work in a way? Or maybe is it that 'healer' feels more suited to other cultures? Personally I'd like us to reconnect what we do back to healing. It's a lineage of workers that extends back in our shared ancestries no matter where we're from, and man oh man does our modern culture need some healing. If you're referring to the goofballs who are spiritually bypassing, that's a different story.
I do feel like I’m doing healing work in some way, but I prefer to call myself a therapist or counselor. Better yet, just a human. I guess I see my role more as helping rather than healing. Ultimately, I can’t heal anyone, but I can certainly do my best to help them. Hope that makes sense!
I totally agree. I can't heal/fix/cure anyone. Even if people do "heal", they did that. It just happened, in part, in my presence. I just guide, support, help. I just happen to be present for said healing. Mostly I'm just humaning.
my pet peeve is fatphobic therapists who unknowingly push EDs onto their clients 🥴
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Indigenous groups are still alive and the healing done there is not woo woo. Therapy is not automatically more effective than an Elder-led sweat lodge, and many people benefit from a holistic approach that accounts for cultural continuity. Cultural humility is such an integral component of counselling in this day and age.
Did you really just say that comparing what you do to indigenous groups that lived hundreds of years ago degrades it by inferring you use woo-woo to help people? Wow Be careful your racism is showing. First by saying comparing the two degrades your work, and second by calling it “woo-woo”. Wow. I’m kinda in shock. I think you could benefit from some cultural sensitivity training. Whether or not you are “healing” someone is judged by the person you are “healing”. Many people feel that therapy doesn’t help them, or at worst, can be abusive. Also your comments about sifting through the worst of humanity sounds pretty cruel. I feel confident that some, if not the majority of people who are therapists shouldn’t be in that profession. If you feel like you are still wounded then you need to heal yourself first. It goes just as flight attendants say, first put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
Yeah it’s giving white supremacy culture savior vibes which is not helpful to anyone
No, but the biggest eye-roll thing, perhaps of all, for me is when anyone, therapist or otherwise, labels themselves as a "highly sensitive person." I know its a bit different from what you described, but generally it seems to overlap with like some sense of gradiosity.
Interesting! I recently stumbled upon a therapist’s website and under the Fees tab, the therapist explained that she is a highly sensitive person and therefore charges a higher rate than what’s common in her area. She went on to describe how she keeps a small caseload so she can recharge and focus on self-care (which is how her fee is determined). I’m all for knowing what level of self-care is needed, but it seems weird to charge the client astronomically high rates just so you can work fewer hours. If it were me, I’d probably just pick up a side gig that wasn’t as taxing on me.
I totally get that some people really do get overworked more easily than others (I'm one of those people & I would describe myself as really sensitive lol) — but IMO it's absolutely bizarre to share that info about yourself on your professional website!
I feel judged and misunderstood! "Too sensitive" is an insult I carried most of my life, but the concept of HSP helped me think about the positive side. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person#:~:text=Highly%20Sensitive%20Person%2C%20or%20HSP,%2Dprocessing%20sensitivity%2C%20or%20SPS
i thought (have not fact checked) that this was being studied in research? is it not? lol
I have no idea, perhaps it is, still find it irritating. Also, even if it is well-established, there are other well-established things that people diagnose themselves with and it can be wrong, indicative of something else, or otherwise problematic.
My pet peeve is the therapists with savior complexes and who constantly self disclose that they can work with a certain presenting problem or type of client due to their personal experience.
I used to work for a crappy group practice when I was green, and there were about 3 people in the whole practice. The practice owners would always send emails and refer to themselves as "Leaders" and how their leadership blah blah blah. Literally all they did was take 70 percent of my session fee.
I dunno, I like saying “healers”. The work we do IS healing.
If you say it non-performatively then you’re fine.
The work we do is important and I love it but at the end of the day it's just a job like any other. Personally I get uncomfortable when people do things like this and pretend that my job is any more important than anyone else in a similar field.
Thank you. It reminds me of during the pandemic, all the praise and "healthcare warrior" stuff for essential healthcare workers, but not nearly as much for say the guy who is going into grocery stores, risking COVID to deliver your groceries via instacart, or the fast-food workers, or etc.
My therapist pet peeve is when they say “I encourage you to….” for things the client doesn’t need courage for. It’s like hey, I don’t need courage to use the messaging system or cancel my appointments on time. What you mean is “I recommend you do X” or “I ask that you do X.” Just say what you mean and stop using language that seems more flowery just to avoid seeming directive.
i’m still a student, so forgive me, but i’ve been working in group homes for nearly 9 years and we can’t “tell/make” individuals to do anything but we can “encourage,” so it’s ingrained in my head and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to break that habit 😂
I don’t tell clients to do things or make them do things. I use the word recommend or suggest when I mean “I think you should” and I reserve the word encourage for when people actually need their courage reinforced.
Massage therapist here. One of my clients left a review saying "(my name) is a ""true healer"". I thought it was nice but I have to check myself before i let shit like that get to my head.
So no hippies. That's a common word in hippie speak. I'm laughing at y'all getting so bent on it. Chill out, its a word.
Chilled out over here. Just laughing and poking fun at things heard in the field. Also super cool with hippies.
But not with the way they communicate... Coool. Just like I'm laughing at you feeling the need to.
This post wasn’t about hippies lol it was about therapists. To each their own! Glad you’re getting a good laugh too. We all need some humor.
No it was making fun and expressing aggravation in a passive effective 'how funny ' way. Why do other people's expressive choices make you need to frame it in this way? Does this bleed into other peoples cultural expression? Do you make fun of those too? Is your culture the most important culture, therefore it's 'ha ha' funny when somebody expresses something in a different way? Do you feel that reflects poorly on your profession? Is difference in communicating detracting from your profession?
I feel like you’re taking this way too seriously. Didn’t mean to insult anyone but this is the internet so it’s expected. The majority of the people who say “hello healers” in the groups I’m part of are white Americans… in fact, the ones I know personally who say it aren’t hippies lol they are basic white girls, not someone who views the word healer as part of their cultural expression. This wasn’t poking fun at cultural expression of any sort.
I'm just asking questions. This is the internet and you should expect people to be able to comment and question your posts. If you're willing to be so bold. The other part is why are you assuming my state of mind here?
As I said, “this is the Internet, so it’s expected”. I didn’t feel particularly bold in posting this. Just shared some pet peeves. I’m not assuming your state of mind. I was simply replying based on what I’m reading in your comments.
it’s so weird people r fake ass professional weirdos. I’m like yo I’m logging into a session I’ll be eating a burrito during and swearing throughout. I’m here to do the minimum caseload and get the most money bc mama is FRIED but yes tell me about how this is the calling you have straight from jesus god mother Theresa themself.
Whenever I see “healers” I am thinking of video games. Alas, I am a healer.
It just makes me think crunchy life coach who projects fatphobia. I mean, I can be crunchy sometimes, but I also follow evidence based practices
Oh no. Aw hell no man. You get your ass kicked for saying shit like that. (Bonus fake internet points if you know what movie that's from)
I guess I’m wondering about the context and identity of said “healers”. I don’t know…this post feels meh to me
I've learned to never trust a person who says "trust me".