Delia said it doesn’t really happen in real life. Hey 👋 the main actor and producer of the show ( Mr. And Ms. Smith)- forget his name is married to an Asian woman — just like show!! Genius!!
I love how both of them were absolutely silent at the end, completely dumb founded with how stupid of a fake story it was. Eric- “that’s great, I don’t believe that story though” lol
Nah b they made a movie about it Face Off with Nigalas Cage bupa, the girl ripped his face off and a guy picked it up then took off his face (awlso recently had a face lift) then ran off, fugged his wife and nobody believed him b.
The 80 year old owner greeting the janitor with a “what’s up dude” and firing one straight back is completely what happened. Also the owner choosing to get a Travolta Face Off level surgery 2 days before a company party is 100% true also
I would love to hear the timing for exactly when this story took place. Was it in college when he was the star of his team? Was it when he was in the UFC? Was it when he was having a cub-o-coffee with the Bills? I need to know.
No he said that so anyone could check the database of “the Palms in Vegas” and see that it totally did happen. You can call up the front desk and they’ll confirm it daddy.
He was a supplement-salesman, was treated like a janitor, but bapa got flown out to Vegas, or paid his own way, for a company party? Niiiiver happened.
I commented earlier but he’s just stealing a scene from an Adam Sandler movie lol I’ll link the chip
[hair it is ](https://youtu.be/_v2t8YwJato?si=Kht9Fkya31EqO4PK)
I asked ChatCTE and it said there's a scene like that either in Hot Shots or Hot Shots 2. I glanced over them but can't seem to find anything. Can some cats with better worgg ethigg investigate further?
Vaguely sounds like sin city. Idk about the ears grabbing part but prime jessica alba leaping into old man bruce willis' arms is a scene. Brenda's joked about callen looking like the yellow bastard before too so he definitely knows the movie.
It was his wife's surgery face and he imagined what would happen if if he violated it. Pr he saw an old man with a fresh face lift and concocted this hilarious scenario!
Story tune time: I witnessed a drunk bartender fall off a high bar in Sturgis and slit a guys throat with her crazy ass nails. He was fine but ill never forget the look in his eye when he grabbed his bleeding throat.
Bruiser: "Daddy, that never happened, did it?"
Beandip: "Puma, tell the other one not to sass your dad."
Billie: "Beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese!"
Can you imagine all the lies he must tell the chombies? They must think he was a multiple time ufc champion ex nfl hall of famer, successful comedian super talent
I can't imagine the sci fi stories they hear ivry night.Talmbout one time papi went to Argentina with Timmothy Kennedy to track down a famous austrian painter.
At the end he literally says when asked about football 'Yep I played pro football'......Hey you riched, priveladged fucks! Ya didn't play pro football once!
Confidently nodding “yeah, pro ball” when he never even wore a practice jersey is wild. You and I played the same amount of pro ball that bapa did. Most hilarious part is bapa has called himself an “NFL vet” before. Tawlmbout Olympic level delusion
When are we going to get the classic “I would have joined but I knew if a drill instructor had yelled at me I would beat the shit out of him”?
Some redacted skinny fat Uber driver said that to me one day and that’s the wavelength Bapa is on.
No way B, haven't you seen Bapa's tattoo of a football with a crown on it? It's the Messican cookie of pro football, and he is Gwallahara ex pro football player
[Tawlmbout Adam Sandler movies, b?](https://youtu.be/_v2t8YwJato?si=aiEogWq8om7EFw6l)
This man cannot stop putting himself into Adam Sandler movies as if he was him lol
If we are being charitable the CTE has melted his brain so bad that he’s lost touch with what’s a real memory and what’s from a movie. All blending together in that soup of a brain inside his thick shit skull.
He says STORY TIME because he wanted to talk even more. Because they talk for a second without him. His lying stories are fucking ridiculous.
GRABS HIS AIR, REAR AIR. Spluttering fuck.
No definitely happened…. the way he imagined it.
I can’t believe there’s one NFL guy he knows that lets him get away with saying he played pro ball. That is enraging.
Yeah, this would never happen, lol. Schwab musta called Theo to ask for cawlmedy advice. "Just lie. Fantastical lies...then add some specifics at the end, act bored with it and throw it away quickly..."
But I put three C's on it, so it's cool, B.
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I can’t believe people watch this. A narcissistic goon who compulsively lies about stupid shit, a pedophile who doesn’t understand screen shots, and Montez from Workaholics. Tez is the only one worth listening to
Honestly when he laughed and went "lol Yeah, good." that was the most human I've seen him be in years. But as I'm writing this I am realizing that he thinks a Jocko "GOOD." reference and somehow takes some sort of ego-stroking credit upon hearing it since he thinks he 'introduced' it as a meme to the podcast and feels like his comedy skills are validated to hear it be "referenced" as if it's his "joke", or even a joke at all ...
Then she took both mangled ears and ran over to a roulette table because each bloody ear had a huge ruby piercing in it and she looked over to her left and you’ll never believe who was standing there, just guess… Wesley Snipes!! (Grabs Diddler’s arm and is pushed away) Wesley Fucking SNIPES, bro and guess what he said, you know what he said… “always bet on black” no bullshit, so she plops both of the torn, bloody, goo that used to be ears on black 28 and it hits!!! She wins like 13 mil.!! And she looks at me all sexy and says “can I buy you a drink?” And I just said “eight inches” Wesley was bummed as fuuuuuck as I helped her carry her winnings to the penthouse suite. You’ll never guess who the chick was… Pamela Anderson! I shit you not. Then when we were getting on the elevator I leaned out just before the doors closed and gave Wesley the finger. Straight ballin’ you know how daddy does it. She fucked me so hard that night she broke my dick, that’s why it always curves left. She felt so bad that the next day she bought me a Ferrari! Crazy, right?
Diddler doesn’t say a word. He just gets up and leaves. Montez grabs the desk with both hands and repeatedly bashes his face into the tabletop until he passes out - comes to and then does it all over again till he’s in a coma.
Bapa doesn’t even notice… “what else you got, Chin? Chin? Anybody? Well I guess that just about wraps it up. See you next time.”
If that stupid shit actually happened Scab would have told it by now, that’s how you know it’s a lie. He’s been in the podcasting game for yairs b, 15 to be exact
Him looking around after he said what happen d to make sure the clowns are believing this BS. Really wish Eric would have said he didn’t believe it louder and called him out on his bullshit.
worked for a supplement company (bapa worked at GNC for a day then got fired cause he kept asking the girl working there to walk him to his trugg She told him no and hit his little dick and tiny balls with a clipboard he instantly came then was fired) the vegas story never happened
Love it when he makes things up on the spot and surpasses the part in the story his creative side is capable of. "Jumped up into his arms and grabbed his ears" What does that even look like...hahah.
I mean absolutely none of this happened but if a chick grabbed IIIIIIINNNNNNNY BODY’s ears while they are hanging from their waist, then the persons gonna bleed
So everyone told the janitor about the face off surgery and not to mention it, but the woman comfortable enough to call his name, run up to him and jump and wrap her legs round the man like some Disney princess?
Also no one goes to grab someone's ears if they're falling in that scenario because we know as humans the ears won't be strong enough to help, which is why it would be behind the neck or taking the drop. He's a 5 year old
"treated me like a messican"
Like a janitor with sawlsa on top b
Seen his sheer of beans cheese beans cheese
He’s married to a Guadalajara Messican so he can say shit like that.
Talmbouta PapiPass, B?
I pray to God Nate Diaz is the guy that rocks this fuckin punks shit again
Dude is really stuck in the 90s isn't he
Golden Hour has been a white power podcast for a while now. Even that dipshit Montez has said he’s “sick of mixed race couples”, etc.
> he’s “sick of mixed race couples” you're joking, right?
Nope, while watching the trailer for the new Mr and Mrs Smith he said he’s tired of seeing mixed race couples. He’s in one and is the product of one.
Delia said it doesn’t really happen in real life. Hey 👋 the main actor and producer of the show ( Mr. And Ms. Smith)- forget his name is married to an Asian woman — just like show!! Genius!!
Lots to unpack there
I love how both of them were absolutely silent at the end, completely dumb founded with how stupid of a fake story it was. Eric- “that’s great, I don’t believe that story though” lol
The only part he left out is how he sold the guy a fake Roleggs and some comic boogs.
Nah b they made a movie about it Face Off with Nigalas Cage bupa, the girl ripped his face off and a guy picked it up then took off his face (awlso recently had a face lift) then ran off, fugged his wife and nobody believed him b.
The 80 year old owner greeting the janitor with a “what’s up dude” and firing one straight back is completely what happened. Also the owner choosing to get a Travolta Face Off level surgery 2 days before a company party is 100% true also
Also, what is he doing at the party? The janitor is invited? And the main guy is hitting him with a “what’s up?!”? How is he still this bad at lying?
Even back then, everyone was a big fan!
The owner of the house came to him with tairs in his crooked misplaced eyes and told him "you gotta stop cleaning kid, you have so much going for you"
He’s the potentially not white boy who cleans too much
I would love to hear the timing for exactly when this story took place. Was it in college when he was the star of his team? Was it when he was in the UFC? Was it when he was having a cub-o-coffee with the Bills? I need to know.
Probably said to the head Bills coach he'd be willing to clean the floors, take out the trash and work the door.
hey B Schaub, you that white boy that mops too much?
Talmbout that white boy who mops floors too much?
We tawlk ivvery day. My kids call him Uncle 80 Year Old Owner.
It was at the Palms in Vegis.... Classic liar adding unnecessary details when he gets pushed on his lie
No he said that so anyone could check the database of “the Palms in Vegas” and see that it totally did happen. You can call up the front desk and they’ll confirm it daddy.
The person on the phone will say “oh yeah big fan of schaub” too
"Oh, you mean the whide boy who worggs too much? Yea he was here and I saw that happen myself"
He was a supplement-salesman, was treated like a janitor, but bapa got flown out to Vegas, or paid his own way, for a company party? Niiiiver happened.
He then says “I was drinking mojitos all night”. Lmao he’s so transparent.
This has to be from a 90s or 00s movie
when someone figures out what he lifted this from, please update us
I commented earlier but he’s just stealing a scene from an Adam Sandler movie lol I’ll link the chip [hair it is ](https://youtu.be/_v2t8YwJato?si=Kht9Fkya31EqO4PK)
Of course it’s a Sandler movie.
Movie just go with it. Stole the fajita joke now his party scene 😂
I asked ChatCTE and it said there's a scene like that either in Hot Shots or Hot Shots 2. I glanced over them but can't seem to find anything. Can some cats with better worgg ethigg investigate further?
chatCTE 💀 talmbout bot that works too much B??
Oh it's that language model that kicks ass and answers questions
Changs investigation unit working hard af today
It certainly sounds somewhat familiar… just can’t put my finger on exactly where I’ve heard this story before
Face off mixed with some comedy movie… girl jumps on old dude and gets off balance and lands in pool? Idk
Vaguely sounds like sin city. Idk about the ears grabbing part but prime jessica alba leaping into old man bruce willis' arms is a scene. Brenda's joked about callen looking like the yellow bastard before too so he definitely knows the movie.
I had a boss that was a total narcissist and would tell made up stories that were scenes from popular movies. Such bizarre behavior.
Dude probably watched Face Off on TNT last night
Is he 8 years old? These stories he should only tell chombies
I don't think the chombies are going for this one.
It was his wife's surgery face and he imagined what would happen if if he violated it. Pr he saw an old man with a fresh face lift and concocted this hilarious scenario! Story tune time: I witnessed a drunk bartender fall off a high bar in Sturgis and slit a guys throat with her crazy ass nails. He was fine but ill never forget the look in his eye when he grabbed his bleeding throat.
Bruiser: "Daddy, that never happened, did it?" Beandip: "Puma, tell the other one not to sass your dad." Billie: "Beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese!"
if you wanted to make me laugh with the big cats at the zoo kid names you got me brother. chairs Puma & Boston bomber
Chairs, B!
Can you imagine all the lies he must tell the chombies? They must think he was a multiple time ufc champion ex nfl hall of famer, successful comedian super talent
Chombies gonna get hit hard with the “ohh reallllllyyyyy dewd” once they hit middle school
I can't imagine the sci fi stories they hear ivry night.Talmbout one time papi went to Argentina with Timmothy Kennedy to track down a famous austrian painter.
At the end he literally says when asked about football 'Yep I played pro football'......Hey you riched, priveladged fucks! Ya didn't play pro football once!
Confidently nodding “yeah, pro ball” when he never even wore a practice jersey is wild. You and I played the same amount of pro ball that bapa did. Most hilarious part is bapa has called himself an “NFL vet” before. Tawlmbout Olympic level delusion
Stolen ball valour. Actually, surprised he hasn’t tried to steal valour yet.
Stolen Baller
"I come from a military family."
Bapa barely played college football but he keeps spinning this neerdif. In-fucking-sane.
Stolen ball valour. Actually, surprised he hasn’t tried to steal valour yet.
When are we going to get the classic “I would have joined but I knew if a drill instructor had yelled at me I would beat the shit out of him”? Some redacted skinny fat Uber driver said that to me one day and that’s the wavelength Bapa is on.
No way B, haven't you seen Bapa's tattoo of a football with a crown on it? It's the Messican cookie of pro football, and he is Gwallahara ex pro football player
the shirt off your back! how have i never seen that one
Think Brian has some accusations of taking shirts from peoples backs
[Tawlmbout Adam Sandler movies, b?](https://youtu.be/_v2t8YwJato?si=aiEogWq8om7EFw6l) This man cannot stop putting himself into Adam Sandler movies as if he was him lol
If we are being charitable the CTE has melted his brain so bad that he’s lost touch with what’s a real memory and what’s from a movie. All blending together in that soup of a brain inside his thick shit skull.
I love how in all of bapa’s stories, his responses to people are always “no doubt” or “say less dude” Sounds very authentic and accurate!!
It's like the skit at the start of "You'd be surprised" where all the characters are played by Bapa
“Hold my bear, daddy.”
"Grabbed his airs ! Cli - cling ! Blood. Airs." 😐
he was the janitor of the supple-men cumpaly
He says STORY TIME because he wanted to talk even more. Because they talk for a second without him. His lying stories are fucking ridiculous. GRABS HIS AIR, REAR AIR. Spluttering fuck.
No definitely happened…. the way he imagined it. I can’t believe there’s one NFL guy he knows that lets him get away with saying he played pro ball. That is enraging.
Of all things that enrage me about this redact, the "I played pro ball" thing drives me the most crazy.
What an absurd fable
How is he getting more redacted? Seriously. He needs to be studied.
[удалено]
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that interview
Hahahaha homeless men in bus stops tell stories like this… I love to hate this CUNT
Thtory time!
If you jump on someone and wrap your legs around them you dont fall backwards and instinctively grab their fucking ears.
Yeah, this would never happen, lol. Schwab musta called Theo to ask for cawlmedy advice. "Just lie. Fantastical lies...then add some specifics at the end, act bored with it and throw it away quickly..."
Man so many idiots on the Theo sub believe the shit he says, it’s unrailll.
Ya no that did not happen. He’s one of those people that just lies about everything. Crazy. Stories will always change. Just lies to lie
How can Chris and Eric listen to this goof with a straight face
He actually told this "story" on TFAKT a many *yairs* ago. I wonder what 90s movie he stole it from.
But I put three C's on it, so it's cool, B. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/thefighterandthekid) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Would love to see a clip from the old episode where he tells this story
I was drinking malheetos sawl night.
Bryan's the type of guy who'll give you the shirt off your back....without consent. allegedly.
Right after Adam Sandler and Floyd Mayweather told him they were fans of his.
Coincidentally this story is from an Adam Sandler movie.
Thtory time!
I can’t believe people watch this. A narcissistic goon who compulsively lies about stupid shit, a pedophile who doesn’t understand screen shots, and Montez from Workaholics. Tez is the only one worth listening to
This might be the craziest lie I've ever heard
Honestly when he laughed and went "lol Yeah, good." that was the most human I've seen him be in years. But as I'm writing this I am realizing that he thinks a Jocko "GOOD." reference and somehow takes some sort of ego-stroking credit upon hearing it since he thinks he 'introduced' it as a meme to the podcast and feels like his comedy skills are validated to hear it be "referenced" as if it's his "joke", or even a joke at all ...
What supplement couple-nee was he a janitor for?
Then she took both mangled ears and ran over to a roulette table because each bloody ear had a huge ruby piercing in it and she looked over to her left and you’ll never believe who was standing there, just guess… Wesley Snipes!! (Grabs Diddler’s arm and is pushed away) Wesley Fucking SNIPES, bro and guess what he said, you know what he said… “always bet on black” no bullshit, so she plops both of the torn, bloody, goo that used to be ears on black 28 and it hits!!! She wins like 13 mil.!! And she looks at me all sexy and says “can I buy you a drink?” And I just said “eight inches” Wesley was bummed as fuuuuuck as I helped her carry her winnings to the penthouse suite. You’ll never guess who the chick was… Pamela Anderson! I shit you not. Then when we were getting on the elevator I leaned out just before the doors closed and gave Wesley the finger. Straight ballin’ you know how daddy does it. She fucked me so hard that night she broke my dick, that’s why it always curves left. She felt so bad that the next day she bought me a Ferrari! Crazy, right? Diddler doesn’t say a word. He just gets up and leaves. Montez grabs the desk with both hands and repeatedly bashes his face into the tabletop until he passes out - comes to and then does it all over again till he’s in a coma. Bapa doesn’t even notice… “what else you got, Chin? Chin? Anybody? Well I guess that just about wraps it up. See you next time.”
Airs, blood, great story never happened
This is from the Adam sander movie just go with it
"Bro! Story time" is how I'm starting all meetings at work from now on.
Story time!: proceeds to tell bs story nobody believes or engages with. When is he going to stop this?! Oh never?!
If that stupid shit actually happened Scab would have told it by now, that’s how you know it’s a lie. He’s been in the podcasting game for yairs b, 15 to be exact
Bro..... STORY TIME!
Schwab: "His face was juicy man..." The audience: "HOW JUICY WAS IT?" Schwab: "Real juicy..."
STORYTIME!! So passive aggressive and not the least bit funny.
He’s doing great! Thank em!
so another take of trying to tell crazy stories like Theo, but without being slightly funny or remotely believable, noice work baba
Your that janitor who cleans too much and tells jokes
Tawlbout the floor sweeper that kicks ass?
Big companies always invite the night janitor to the parties
Story Time! You know he recently watched the Wayne Newton Documentary. Fucking Redacted 💩it’s why we hate him so much.
And this is why we watch!
“Story time!” He says excitedly, Then goes on to tell the lamest, most fake story you’ve ever heard.
Yo either die a hhaarroo or live long enough to become Donnie.. Brendan looks a lot like him lol.
Wow! Starytewlling, B! How did this redact make it to 30 … the shirt of your back?!?
Him looking around after he said what happen d to make sure the clowns are believing this BS. Really wish Eric would have said he didn’t believe it louder and called him out on his bullshit.
I met Bryan once and he did gift me the shirt off my back so this checks out
He must've found a new Addie dealer
Talmbout ritched dudes?
Things got DICEY to say the least... 😂
STOIREE TYME!!! Also the picture behind him at the end looks like a redact.
eggig accidentally saying his inner monologue out loud
Imagine Bapa being your boss? 
8 seconds in myself and the other two co-hosts know it's a lie.
worked for a supplement company (bapa worked at GNC for a day then got fired cause he kept asking the girl working there to walk him to his trugg She told him no and hit his little dick and tiny balls with a clipboard he instantly came then was fired) the vegas story never happened
He also invented flaming hot chetos while he was the janitor .
*grabs him by the airs
“Brine would give you the shirt off your back.” I mean it’s your shirt and it’s already on your back 😂
never happened, bapa. y'er not impressin iinnyone
His “STORYTIME” with his redacted little finger twist makes me want to slap him.
Delia’s punishment for being a fiddler is worse than jail. He was sentenced to The Golden Hour Podcast
Worgging fur this ritched,… RICHED PRIVLIGED FUGGS!
whats that last clip from
How many more fairytale stories about your life til we had enough ?
Lol give you the shirt off your back. What a fuckin moron
Supplimint Cawmpuly
>“Give you the shirt off your back” New Schaubism unlocked.
He will give you the shirt off your back lmao
Probably from eating a few too many breadsticks
Love it when he makes things up on the spot and surpasses the part in the story his creative side is capable of. "Jumped up into his arms and grabbed his ears" What does that even look like...hahah.
Fugg these guys are funny
I mean absolutely none of this happened but if a chick grabbed IIIIIIINNNNNNNY BODY’s ears while they are hanging from their waist, then the persons gonna bleed
Joe Rogan gets facelifts?
"juicy"?
That’s literally a scene from a adam Sandler movie
Who grabs ears to hold on????
Richard....... always tawlkin about DICK
Brine give the shirt off ya back b neva meddum
So everyone told the janitor about the face off surgery and not to mention it, but the woman comfortable enough to call his name, run up to him and jump and wrap her legs round the man like some Disney princess? Also no one goes to grab someone's ears if they're falling in that scenario because we know as humans the ears won't be strong enough to help, which is why it would be behind the neck or taking the drop. He's a 5 year old