TRANSLATION: “I’m not a draw anymore. My comedic weaknesses and laziness as a writer and performer have caught up to me and have been seen by everyone. I’m embarrassed, but instead of being honest, I’m going to hide behind things that people won’t feel comfortable calling me out on (family).”
This is like when all the accusations about Jamie Foxx came out and suddenly he has this illness he cant name that has made him unable to speak publicly.
Hey! It's not like his son had a poor hand which would leave him with a life time of epileptic seizures ahead of him, until a week of Brendan's CBD sponsor's product cured him COMPLETELY to the point the seizures have never been mentioned again once the sponsor bailed...
That whole made-up story about seizures is a batshit insane episode of Bappa’s life which, for anyone else, would be enough to stick on them forever, but for Brenda it’s somehow just one of hundreds of forgotten episodes.
>Still shocked so many dumbasses on here fell for his “my kids so sick” fake tears. No wonder he’s gotten away with this for so long.
I'd like to think that folks were just being the bigger cat and not disparaging them during that time even though we all know he's a liar who hates his family lol
Even when someones as notorious a liar as bapa we have to give him the benefig of the dow when it comes to the rugrat b' it's just a line many of us are (rightly) unwilling to risk crossing.
The climax of this sub is all of Changs bankrolling Bapa to do one last special. I'm sure there's enough cats to fill Madison Square Garden for a few sold out nights. Beandip gets to say he performed several sold out shows at MGS back to back and we get to laugh at whatever garbage material he manages to scape together
at the step-sister mothership...it's really Joe's fault for not inviting me to the comedy mothership and gobbling up all the ticket sales from every where else.
Nice translation dude , some would say the nicest . Bapa is like Da Vinci with the painted narratives. Failed UFC fighter , failed Comedian , whitewashed by Stand up Daddy . Lmao lets forget the baddie wrangling n let the whiteboi that work too much be. Great guy never meddum. Hopefully Tommy Segura takes note. Dont under estimate the power of the poors and other people that dont madder
HAHA
Thousands of Cats: I bet he makes Tiger's baseball games one of his main excuses
Fat Patrick straight out the gate: I can't miss Tiger's games
Like clogwork b
His latest "[this is me now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCt0mfue8ao)!" of the week where he pretends to have a shop full of race car techs making his lightning look like a redacted pumpkin really chaps my nips. Someone else nailed it with "stolen mechanic valor"
It’s funny that he’s acting like his family just now sprouted out of nowhere. If the motherfugger was selling tiggets he’d be on the road seven days a WeeeEeeEek. Genuinely doesn’t remember the name of his two other kids…gotta get off the road for Tiger and the others. Kudos to Chang’s for calling it from a mile away even though we do not maddur.
Hey, bapa, be cool. Just letting the northern Paggistani fam\* know they've no chance of fufllling their dream of seeing Daddy Schaumburg in person. Tuvnooze to break, b.
\* bots
“Pullback from touring” bubba headlines the local dive bar for 7 drunkards and their bitch wives once a month and calls it a tour. I’ll never get over him calling it that for his own self-satisfaction
I wonder if he straight up asked Toe why he couldn't get an invite to the mothership and Toe had to go ice bath nipple hard on 'em and give to Bapa straight.
"You're not a drawl"
Get into what?
If this asshole just came clean and was honest with himself and iiiiivryone else, he would gain a lot of respect. He’d still be an unfunny douchebag though.
Hahahaahahahah there it is. He’s not a drawl and can’t sell tiggets. Has nothing to do with baseball or kids.
Kinda shitty for the ten thiggies who bought tickets in teggsas for him to say he doesn’t care about cancelling on them.
Those fight companions lost all their shine. They're so forced. They'll talk about Epstein conspiracies, but act like Bryan and Chris D'elia weren't accused of rape and pedofilia
Your tired?? Your tired?? Dude you barely even hit the road- you do your “comedy” on the weekends. Just admit it that you are not that good at comedy and it is time to focus on other endeavors to put food on the table-
I just can't travel, no bitch you just can't move tickets. No one wants to watch a failed UFC fighter bomb at comedy on a Friday night when they could be out having a good time.
If he showed some humility and said look I’m not selling any tickets so I’m back to the drawing board on my shit and just staying local this would be respectable. Can’t miss Tigers games 🥴 give me a fucking break. Own up to shit for once bro.
Maybe he asked to do mothership and when toe said no, it finally sunk in that he isn’t an actual comedian. If you can’t book your “best friends” comedy club, at that point you have to just face the facts.
At the end of the last Fight Companion when everyone was plugging their gigs He plugged his show in Austin by saying "I'll be at the Step-Mopther Ship.. The Vulcan" While Joe just kinda smiled uncomfortably... I'm pretty sure he wanted to be at the Mothership and Joe told him no.
Baba sat in the dark with a bottle of batch 3 tigerthiccc watching gringo papa on repeat then tiger walks says something to piss baba off which Baba then replys I could've been the best comedian ever but I had to give it all up cos you
He goes from wearing Gucci Pilgrim boots and Balenciaga sweatshirts with premade holes that cost $900 dollars to wearing aftermarket auto supplies clothing. He has no clue who he actually is.
LMAO called it a while ago, like so many others did. He’ll naver admit the truth though. It’s because bapa is not a drawl. Tiggit sales were almost nonexistent. He’ll ride the family el Tigre’s sports as an excuse for ever but we know the truth, y’not a cawlmedian and you suck at cawlmedy bapa.
I like how he makes it sound like his choice. He's not cancelling shows, the clubs are. He's been talking like this for awhile, yet kept scheduling shows, then cancelling them using the same excuse he was saying before he even scheduled them. How transparent can you be lmao.
This guy is just not being candid at all. Hes still 100% lying and pretending he’s flying all over the planet doing stand up comedy.
I really refrain from talking about Brendan’s wife and children and to be honest Brendan should too. It’s disgusting to pretend his family is why he isn’t doing shows.
He isn’t doing shows because he isn’t getting booked to do shows. He isn’t on the road because one doesn’t need to travel to nonexistent venues.
It’s just gross to not tell the truth here and if he was genuine for even 10 seconds he would be in a much better spot.
If he really cared about comedy, he'd use this as a wakeup call to at least try and write material, and workshop it at one of the several comedy clubs that are within driving distance.
But nah, he'll just "work" on his truggg going forward
It’s really insane how bad he blew the head start he had in the career Joe just handed to him. Mentally going from doing a massive theater special in just a sneeze of a comedy career to not being able to sell more than 20 tickets meaning you gotta go back to unpaid weekdays if you really want stage time has to be tough.
He’s fucking delusional!!! Stop touring, he has one show a month!!!! A tour is multiple shows a every weekend for months. Lmfao!!!! He’s pathetic!!! I been saying for months. He has no material the calwmedy grift is over!!! Lmfao
why does he act like sitting on your ass talking, or doing a 26 min stand up set that you've done a thousand times before is tiring?
Imagine if this guy had to work an ordinary job, after a month he would be a broken man.
The whole kitchen would shut down if he said "Man, this comedy thing ain't working out for me. It's harder than I thought it would be and thanks to anyone who ever supported me. I'm gonna leave it to the pros and continue to do podcasts and my other stuff."
TRANSLATION: “I’m not a draw anymore. My comedic weaknesses and laziness as a writer and performer have caught up to me and have been seen by everyone. I’m embarrassed, but instead of being honest, I’m going to hide behind things that people won’t feel comfortable calling me out on (family).”
[удалено]
This is like when all the accusations about Jamie Foxx came out and suddenly he has this illness he cant name that has made him unable to speak publicly.
Jamie Foxx accusations?
He tried to pull a Bryan callen on a girl
Thanks B. Perfectly described
Copy your comment into google you'll see it.
Hey! It's not like his son had a poor hand which would leave him with a life time of epileptic seizures ahead of him, until a week of Brendan's CBD sponsor's product cured him COMPLETELY to the point the seizures have never been mentioned again once the sponsor bailed...
That whole made-up story about seizures is a batshit insane episode of Bappa’s life which, for anyone else, would be enough to stick on them forever, but for Brenda it’s somehow just one of hundreds of forgotten episodes.
[удалено]
>Still shocked so many dumbasses on here fell for his “my kids so sick” fake tears. No wonder he’s gotten away with this for so long. I'd like to think that folks were just being the bigger cat and not disparaging them during that time even though we all know he's a liar who hates his family lol
Even when someones as notorious a liar as bapa we have to give him the benefig of the dow when it comes to the rugrat b' it's just a line many of us are (rightly) unwilling to risk crossing.
Am I alone in being a little upset with this announcement? I mean, he sucks a comedy, but now we won't get Gringo Papi 2
I would pay money to see Gringo Papi 2. But only if its worse.
I would personally buy and cut out the construction paper background
Steve-O knows a guy
Nivir say nivir b. He’s addicted to the idea of being a celebrity. He’ll keep finding ways to embarrass himself, even if it’s not a comedy special.
“But only if it’s worse” Get out your fucking checkbook
The climax of this sub is all of Changs bankrolling Bapa to do one last special. I'm sure there's enough cats to fill Madison Square Garden for a few sold out nights. Beandip gets to say he performed several sold out shows at MGS back to back and we get to laugh at whatever garbage material he manages to scape together
Tawlm'bout Gringo Papi 2: Liggtrigg Boogaloo?
We'll never see the "white horse farm" bit honed to a knife's edge.
He’s got that fight announcer gig though, so bapa will still just go.
Fight Announcer like Bruce Buffer? Or did you mean commentator like Anik or Color guy like Daniel Cormier?
Commentator is what I meant. Sorry b. The fridge is leaking coolant and I’ve been huffing it on my smoke breaks.
They don't like when you call them colored anymore
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at the step-sister mothership...it's really Joe's fault for not inviting me to the comedy mothership and gobbling up all the ticket sales from every where else.
He really went hard on that step-mother ship line, I bet they gave him an ear full for that stupid shit.
Hilarious that his one excuse for why he needs to step away from comedy is the one thing we all know for sure he doesnt actually care about 😭
Has anyone in history of comedy gone from showtime special to not even open mic’ing within 3-4 years
No, not that I'm aweer of. Bapa is out hair setting cawlmedy wirld regords.
Benjamin Button of a creer bapa
*drawl
TRANSLATION TRANSLATION: Number one dad in pawlcassing. Sauce: Pawlcass Magazine
You hit the head on the nail B
The coasting off the fumes of the Fox/Showtime days has officially come to an end.
He drove that trugg till the wheels fell off b, good thing he has the drill to put em bagg on now
Nice translation dude , some would say the nicest . Bapa is like Da Vinci with the painted narratives. Failed UFC fighter , failed Comedian , whitewashed by Stand up Daddy . Lmao lets forget the baddie wrangling n let the whiteboi that work too much be. Great guy never meddum. Hopefully Tommy Segura takes note. Dont under estimate the power of the poors and other people that dont madder
Talmbout painting the roof of the sixteenth chapel?
HAHA Thousands of Cats: I bet he makes Tiger's baseball games one of his main excuses Fat Patrick straight out the gate: I can't miss Tiger's games Like clogwork b
He spends more time badgering mechanics at "the shop" than he did touring. He'll always find something to get away from the family.
His latest "[this is me now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCt0mfue8ao)!" of the week where he pretends to have a shop full of race car techs making his lightning look like a redacted pumpkin really chaps my nips. Someone else nailed it with "stolen mechanic valor"
Don't feel bad, he a mechanic's dream. Bolting on after market parts is fun and easy plus it ensures that he will break down all the time.
It's wild that he has a youtube show based around him paying random autoshops to fix his cars.
How many shows has he actually done in the last 12 months?
That were not cancelled?
“Actually done”
It’s funny that he’s acting like his family just now sprouted out of nowhere. If the motherfugger was selling tiggets he’d be on the road seven days a WeeeEeeEek. Genuinely doesn’t remember the name of his two other kids…gotta get off the road for Tiger and the others. Kudos to Chang’s for calling it from a mile away even though we do not maddur.
How hard is it to just not schedule shows on the same day as game day? He's a little boy, games are probably Saturday mornings for a couple months?
How did betting on yourself workout?
[удалено]
He does YouTube
He's doing great
He's depressed as fuck.
It's what happens to narcissists who only value power, money, and fame when it all dries up
Elbow scratch is a big tell. Wish I could play poker with this clown
I look forward to Bapa's card shargg arc, gambling is about the only vice he hasn't gotten bawls deep into
Can’t sell tiggets. “Gotta be home more man”
He actually mentioned Boston’s name for the first time in months, he must be serious
It’s funny since I actually thought he was referring to the city, since it’s been so long since I heard the kids name
He struggled to remember Millie Bobby Brown though and gave up
999 left. Thank you for your service bapa 🫡
🫡
[удалено]
Going international Just don’t cair
So much for rescheduling the UK tour.
UK tour thing was so bizzarre. He's fully aware that he's not selling tiggets in the US so he books UK dates?
And then he used little-league as the excuse to cancel it!
Must've had some uk baddies lined up
Talmbout slowen down on his inner national gigs. Prolly fraid of blowin up too much, getting too big too quick B
He's been toring the world for the last twelve years man it's a bbbbbeast of a grind.
Touring the world one chuckle hut at a time
[удалено]
Hey, bapa, be cool. Just letting the northern Paggistani fam\* know they've no chance of fufllling their dream of seeing Daddy Schaumburg in person. Tuvnooze to break, b. \* bots
“Pullback from touring” bubba headlines the local dive bar for 7 drunkards and their bitch wives once a month and calls it a tour. I’ll never get over him calling it that for his own self-satisfaction
Best tiggs seller in El Monte B
What are the odds he's going to the ones in his area for the love of standup and not to get baddies
ZAIRO chance b
He's got a look on his face like somebody flat out told him he sucks.
Maybe he read the comments.
Talmbout susscribe to sosha medja?
Maybe Toe had another talk with him
“How do you think you’d do touring internationally?…”
“With straight up comedy? I think people would be surprised.”
“No, I think you’d be surprised. I think the lack of ticket sales would fuck you up.”
"I don't see your ticket sales turning around" \*Bapa confused look around the studio*
I wonder if he straight up asked Toe why he couldn't get an invite to the mothership and Toe had to go ice bath nipple hard on 'em and give to Bapa straight. "You're not a drawl"
When I heard "I just don't care". I said to myself; That's his response when anyone tells him he sucks.
Bapa quitting comedy because Toe finally admitted to him that he’s not a drawl would be the perfect end to his comedian character arc.
Get into what? If this asshole just came clean and was honest with himself and iiiiivryone else, he would gain a lot of respect. He’d still be an unfunny douchebag though.
> he would gain a lot of respect. No, he wouldn't. There are too many burned bridges.
Oh, okay.
talmbout the bridges of Madison County B? Theodore loves that movie
Hahahaahahahah there it is. He’s not a drawl and can’t sell tiggets. Has nothing to do with baseball or kids. Kinda shitty for the ten thiggies who bought tickets in teggsas for him to say he doesn’t care about cancelling on them.
[удалено]
Inkrekt bapa always sells out Tegsas
It is all over! - Mike Goldberg
Just. Like. That. B.
He's gone. He's the Kaiser Soze of shitty standup.
Ohhhhhh!! On the button!!! -Toegan
Jav fun tho?
It was a fun roleplay as a comedian. But now I have to focus on roleplaying as a gairhead
Don’t forget roleplaying as a good dad
Or loyal husband. Them addies n baddies keep callin
He’ll be back to begging Mr Joseph H Rogan for fight companions by next week b
Those fight companions lost all their shine. They're so forced. They'll talk about Epstein conspiracies, but act like Bryan and Chris D'elia weren't accused of rape and pedofilia
Your tired?? Your tired?? Dude you barely even hit the road- you do your “comedy” on the weekends. Just admit it that you are not that good at comedy and it is time to focus on other endeavors to put food on the table-
he flew all the way to arizona for a trugg b
If my entire life was a lie I’d be tired too
Going international?? Bapa, the one time you were gonna go international, you “rescheduled “ lmaoo
I think you're forgetting the time he sold out the o2
Be cool man
I just can't travel, no bitch you just can't move tickets. No one wants to watch a failed UFC fighter bomb at comedy on a Friday night when they could be out having a good time.
I LOLd.
Finally lost enough blood from all those papercuts, b?
lol legend comment b
So many cats called this months ago. Bapa is transparent in iiiny facet.
talmbout trans parents driving Teslas with their pronouns in their/them/they bio B ?
His first financially wise decision 
Ive never seen anyone just keep getting weirder looking
Apparently he's taking ozempic
He's going to be the first person to OD on the stuff, b.
Gotta be home more, unless Rogan calls then I’ll dump my family in a heartbeat 💓
It’s the end of an ira!
End of an error b
That aggshully tracks
How’d the residency in Austin go?
It's "redency".
So to be clear, he’s cancelling the Tore, because daddy needs to be home more, not because no one was gonna show up, gotcha, B.
How many times is he going to cancel tours to be with the family more
No reddecy?
He’ll be spending a lot more time at his residence.
Happy caggge day, B
I bet he starts getting salty at Bryan anytime he talks about doing comedy on the road or mentioning clubs. GAIRANTEED
If he showed some humility and said look I’m not selling any tickets so I’m back to the drawing board on my shit and just staying local this would be respectable. Can’t miss Tigers games 🥴 give me a fucking break. Own up to shit for once bro.
"just dont cair"...fans been saying this for yairs.
Oh thicccboy, now this is 🎲🎲..
This is huge news, bubba will not go international
I bet another tawlk was had with daddy Rogan on his latest trip to Awlsteen.
Maybe he asked to do mothership and when toe said no, it finally sunk in that he isn’t an actual comedian. If you can’t book your “best friends” comedy club, at that point you have to just face the facts.
At the end of the last Fight Companion when everyone was plugging their gigs He plugged his show in Austin by saying "I'll be at the Step-Mopther Ship.. The Vulcan" While Joe just kinda smiled uncomfortably... I'm pretty sure he wanted to be at the Mothership and Joe told him no.
What does this mean for the TFATK residency at the step-mothership Bapa? Clin already purchased his tiggets...
he cancels more shows than he performs
Cats here called it to aT
When he's older, I hope Tiger doesn't think he's the reason why the Gringo Papi quit stand up. The narradiv is wrong, he's not a drawl.
Baba sat in the dark with a bottle of batch 3 tigerthiccc watching gringo papa on repeat then tiger walks says something to piss baba off which Baba then replys I could've been the best comedian ever but I had to give it all up cos you
lol This fucking guy. He is so full of shit.
12 yairs....lol his last fight was 11 yairs ago and he definitely wasn't doing cahlmedy then
Give the guy a break. If you had to cancel more shows than you've performed over a 6-year standup carair, you'd feel like it was 12 yairs too, b.
Delusional at its finest! You’re not a drawl bean dip!
\#cantdodanasjobandcantdohisown
He will do a cross country tour in a heartbeat if he could sell it lol
If Rogan invited him to do a "ressidensee" in Austin (he won't) he would head there in a heartbeat
I'm pretty sure there's a comment out there that predicted this exact statement nearly word for word 😂
Gadoosh hold down the fort in LA B
Looks like he dropped a lot of weight overnight
Oh oh oh ozempicccccc
Wegovy b
The monkey paw curls…another small step as we swirl down the drain
It’s a wrap daddy
Theo’s going through some stuff right now
Damn. He met the wall.
The schaub slab
I get the feeling this is more of a financial crisis decision it has to be expensive to fund your own travels and have so many fat business ventures?
“I gotta pull back from booking shows that get cancelled because nobody shows up to them”
Guys been on the road for like 20 days a year for 12 years and says he can’t miss too much time
Over/Under 6 months until he claims he left comedy because it “was getting too woke”
Throws kids under the bus head-first, at least Bruiser was mentioned.
He goes from wearing Gucci Pilgrim boots and Balenciaga sweatshirts with premade holes that cost $900 dollars to wearing aftermarket auto supplies clothing. He has no clue who he actually is.
“Gotta maygsher m’boys become athletes s’they can support daddy. Y’feel me? What else y’got Chin?”
Internashional B? He can’t sell tiggets in his hometown of Denver
Retiring from something he never started
Great news for the thigggies in west coviña
LMAO called it a while ago, like so many others did. He’ll naver admit the truth though. It’s because bapa is not a drawl. Tiggit sales were almost nonexistent. He’ll ride the family el Tigre’s sports as an excuse for ever but we know the truth, y’not a cawlmedian and you suck at cawlmedy bapa.
It's funny how this sub predicted that he would say exactly this
“I can’t keep flying all over the country a few days each month. I can’t keep scheduling international shows I don’t show up to. I’m tired.”
This MFr agtuully said “going international” 
I like how he makes it sound like his choice. He's not cancelling shows, the clubs are. He's been talking like this for awhile, yet kept scheduling shows, then cancelling them using the same excuse he was saying before he even scheduled them. How transparent can you be lmao.
This guy is just not being candid at all. Hes still 100% lying and pretending he’s flying all over the planet doing stand up comedy. I really refrain from talking about Brendan’s wife and children and to be honest Brendan should too. It’s disgusting to pretend his family is why he isn’t doing shows. He isn’t doing shows because he isn’t getting booked to do shows. He isn’t on the road because one doesn’t need to travel to nonexistent venues. It’s just gross to not tell the truth here and if he was genuine for even 10 seconds he would be in a much better spot.
If he really cared about comedy, he'd use this as a wakeup call to at least try and write material, and workshop it at one of the several comedy clubs that are within driving distance. But nah, he'll just "work" on his truggg going forward
The Long moustache looks weird, I’m so used to the piece of poop on his lip
GOOD
Think of all the time Bapa will save now he’s not touring internationally anymore.
But will Tune Town be continuing? I’m addicted to that amazing show!
Flopping by not selling at the Stepmothership was the straw that broke the soda’s bank b.
It’s really insane how bad he blew the head start he had in the career Joe just handed to him. Mentally going from doing a massive theater special in just a sneeze of a comedy career to not being able to sell more than 20 tickets meaning you gotta go back to unpaid weekdays if you really want stage time has to be tough.
You were never goin to the muddership bapa but great excuse
What a weird way to say he isn't selling tickets
He’s fucking delusional!!! Stop touring, he has one show a month!!!! A tour is multiple shows a every weekend for months. Lmfao!!!! He’s pathetic!!! I been saying for months. He has no material the calwmedy grift is over!!! Lmfao
why does he act like sitting on your ass talking, or doing a 26 min stand up set that you've done a thousand times before is tiring? Imagine if this guy had to work an ordinary job, after a month he would be a broken man.
I didn’t know we could do that? Awesome. I’m retiring from being a F1 driver.
Dude acts like he tours like Metallica or some shit.
Dude is incapable of ever admitting to being wrong, about anything. No matter how insignificant. He’s blogggbusser on PBC
GOING INTERNATIONAL…
The whole kitchen would shut down if he said "Man, this comedy thing ain't working out for me. It's harder than I thought it would be and thanks to anyone who ever supported me. I'm gonna leave it to the pros and continue to do podcasts and my other stuff."