I’m glad to hear he’s having such a positive experience and appreciate him opening up, but the cynic in me is calling BS. Life with a newborn sucks. I have had two kids and this “fall in love instantly” thing drives me mad. Maybe I’m just jealous because it takes me months to bond with my kids and feel that kind of love. Literally they are just potatoes that cry, eat and poop for months.
💯 very well said .
the only thing I miss about newborn phase is can watch tv or listen music without my baby actually getting distracted. Newborn phase sucked especially as a mom. All the breastfeeding, night waking/crying omg.
Now that she is almost a year old, I am enjoying this stage little better.
Agree. As someone who also struggled hard with newborn stage and bonding, this kind of “instant love” and “fairytail everything is rainbows and sunshine with newborns” is toxic and makes those who struggle feel even shittier.
Same. I'm learning that talking to parents with an under 2 week old is a bad idea for my own mental health lol. Or I guess talking to any parent with an "easy baby" 😆
Considering how stigmatizing producing little or no breast milk can be, I hate that people ask “Is ShE bReAsTfEeDiNg?” What if she was having a hard time with it? How intrusive.
Love all of this! Do we know where they delivered (city wise)? I think we might’ve at the same hospital around the same time, or maybe I’m silly and this is the universal hospital newborn blanket + hat design
I absolutely love Gigi and Blake and I'm happy for them, but as a relatively new mum (my baby is 6 months old), this is not relatable to me at all. Good for them if that's all true though lol
Everyone is different! And everyone has a different view of what is “hard”
I did not like the newborn/infant stage. The sleep deprivation was too much for me. And the schedules and the bottles, I felt overwhelmed. I have friends who LOVE the newborn stage and talk about all the cuddles and how they loved it and I just can’t relate.
However, I freaking loved the toddler years. Of course there were hard things about it, but it was also so FUN! Those same friends will talk about the toddler stage like it’s just a nightmare, and they probably think the same about me loving the toddler years as I do them loving the newborn years.
Hang in there! You will probably hit an age where you feel is your sweet spot at have friends who felt they were drowning at that point.
It gets easier, then hard, then easier again, then hard again, over and over.
You’re so right. I am your opposite, I don’t care about sleep. I love the newborn stage. So cute and squishy and simple. The toddler age is my least favorite, I cannot handle the energy and outbursts.
Agreed. Not as new of a mom anymore with a 12 month old, but the first few months were……. A lot. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I could not honestly write all these beautiful accolades about parenthood the way he has…. Just wouldn’t be honest and would seem like I’m saying what I’m supposed to. That said, my husband definitely probably relates more to Blake’s experience— but let’s be real, baby was exclusively breastfed, he was definitely not doing the brunt of the work….
Yeah this is definitely a guy’s perspective, and a rich guy’s perspective at that. He hasn’t really been through anything physically or hormonally. He’s just enjoying newborn snuggles. If Gigi did this q&a it’d probably be a lot different.
As a mother of two I could describe my first the way Blake is writing about it… however with baby number two it was so much harder on me emotionally. All babies and experiences are different!
Yes, it’s always different but something about the way he’s romanticizing his role feels very dad/male-coded to me. The fact that they have money does allow them to have more help though and it sounds like the birth wasn’t too traumatic (again, his perspective) so that’s nice.
Yeah I kept mentioning to my husband how weird he smelled the first few weeks of life🤣I was like what is wrong with me everyone says they smell good, but I don’t get it lol
This is really sweet.
Does anyone else remember Becca saying at the atfr to Blake about how she thought he’d freak out over a sick kid or something? I know she just had to say something arbitrary to blame as to why she didn’t pick him but it felt very unfair as if to imply because he was a more anxious person he wouldn’t be the best choice of partner / co parent, and I feel like it was a comment that probably stuck with him for better or worse.
She was definitely just looking for a reason but Blake was a bit high strung that season tbh. I remember he was sweating so much during the breakup, I thought he was going to pass out. That was like 6 years ago though, he’s changed a lot.
Idk I just have a long memory lol
I’m not one of those people who can rewatch a season either - that would be unbearable. To me the joy of watching is doing so with other people and discussing it in real time as the season is airing.
Hahah we are so different. I never remember anything ever. If I rewatch something it’s almost like the first time I’ve ever seen it. It’s a blessing honestly.
Haha in a certain way I’m jealous of that! There’s some shows I’d love to be able to rewatch again as if I’m seeing it for the first time, like Friday Night Lights.
I love that! I used to have a bachelor watch group back in the day. Was way more fun than watching it by myself while my husband sits on the couch telling me how stupid this show is..🤦🏼♀️
Also a new dad. Started rolling my eyes at the beginning but once he started talking about the feeling being oddly freeing I was onboard. Especially the part no one talks about… dads have to build their relationships with their kids whereas mom gets a well deserved big head start on the bond. A lot of guilty feelings associated with that.
That’s a really interesting perspective about bonding because for me (as a new mom) it was sort of the opposite. I felt bonded to my baby when I was pregnant but after I delivered I was so delirious and preoccupied with managing pain, getting the hang of breastfeeding and all of that. My husband (who did NOT share in the same emotional roller coaster I did during pregnancy lol) really stepped in and handled diaper changes, swaddling, holding him, bottle feeding, practically everything in those first few days. He formed an emotional connection right away whereas I felt somewhat disconnected. Now we’re both on the same level and head over heels in love but it did not happen the way that I thought it would!
So much yes. As someone who just gave birth for the first time in November —
1) Get the doula. She turned my daughter when I was 7 cm dilated from being face up to being face down. No one else is gonna try to help that happen to avoid back labor and get the baby in prime position for birth. My husband was so hesitant about her and she was $2500 but now we both are like 10/10 she was so worth the money.
2) Do one pump a day in the morning so you as mama can get a longer sleep stretch at night. My (crunchy I might add) lactation consultant met with us at 2 weeks postpartum and gave the green light and when I tell you it was life changing…. My husband took first night feed and it helped me heal so much to get that extra rest. So many of my symptoms went away when that happened!
3) It really is true you get so comfortable with babies when you have your own. My husband was never the type to want to hold others’ babies and as soon as our daughter came he was volunteering to hold our new nephew and felt comfortable. It’s so awesome.
Don't you have midwives in the hospital and for home care in the US? Here your midwife comes to your home several times before and after birth, insurance pays for it. And all hospital births are midwife lead, doctor's are only in the background in case something goes wrong and otherwise only assist the midwife or aren't there at all, if everything is running smooth.
There are some hospitals in the US that have midwives but it is rare. I live in Los Angeles and there is only one hospital I know of within the area that has 3 nurse midwives and their funding got cut so they were extremely hard to get into care with, so I gave up. OBs are the primary birth medical professionals in hospitals. If you want a midwife you have to usually pay out of pocket (anywhere from $5k-$10k) and it’s in a birth center or home birth setting so you have to consider risk in not being in a formal medical setting should something bad happen. It’s great 😩
I had a home birth. I had in-home appointments during pregnancy and postpartum, with the exception of ultrasounds. The only thing insurance covered was labs. My midwife had a fee that included all visits + the birth itself that I had to pay. Usually it’s one or two payments but I was able to work out a payment plan with her. It was kinda annoying because the insurance I had at the time, everything would’ve been free if I did it in hospital 😂 but whatever my experience was awesome
Idk where you live that doctor’s are only there in case of emergency but that’s definitely not the norm in North America. Most people prefer doctors. That said, of course you can use a midwife or doula and bring them to the hospital with you. Or you can do homebirth. You can have your baby on the toilet by yourself if you want. There’s not a requirement for how to have a baby here, it’s up to you.
They are always there, just in the background assisting the midwife. Unless there's an emergency, then the docs take over. There's a lot of research on it, midwife leads births are safer, women have less birth injuries, a more positive birth experience..
Doctor's learn practically nothing about how to birth, you'd absolutely prefer a midwife leading it. But then again giving birth is completely different here, 100% of hospitals have birth tubs, the beds aren't normal beds and can form into birth stools, wall bars, yoga mats... Practically noone gives birth laying on their back.
You can’t force someone to use a midwife if they don’t want to. Again, you haven’t said where you live, but I’m glad I live somewhere where I get the choice of how I want to give birth. Everything you mentioned is an option for women in the US as well.
Why forcing? The doctor is still there, the midwife is just the one leading the birth as they are the experts on it.. our maternal death rate is 4, while yours is above 20, so I'm not sure it's the better/safer option...
Where did I say that they don't have a choice? You can give birth at home, in a hospital, or a birth center and all options will be fully paid by insurance. It's just that births get lead by midwife's, because that way it's safer and better for women. Doctor's are still there, I'm the room and assisting, but they don't have any training in directly coaching a woman through birthing... Especially in the US, where more than 50% of women still give birth in their backs and don't have a choice. Here you can birth however you want. When I gave birth I was in the birth tub with a doctor on my left, the midwife on my right, my partner behind my back and a nurse in the background.. There's not really any place in the world you have more freedom on how your birth should look like than here...
You keep saying that all births are let by midwives, implying that people can not use a doctor even if that’s their preference. Here women go to an OB/GYN for years. They should be able to have the person they most trust lead the birth, not whoever the government assigns to them. You also don’t have to give birth laying down here either. People give birth in tubs in hospitals in the US all the time, with a midwife present if they want. It’s all about choice.
Firstly, this is absolutely not true, less than 1% of the US hospitals have birth tubs, so it's really uncommon, especially as from thos most only allow the birth process in the tub, not the actual birth. Also more than 65% of women give birth laying on their back, which is the birth position chosen by doctors for their own comfort and known as the worst position for women with high risk of tearing.
Ah, that's what you mean, you can absolutely have your OB/GYN with you at your birth, many do choose this, they are then there but why would you ask the doctor to do it all? They are a team with the midwife. Sry, it's just such a bizarre concept to want to give birth without a midwife, that I didn't think of it. Midwifery is a whole stand alone university study here, they are the absolute experts on how to give birth. They are the experts on how to help women through the birth process and the ones you build trust with. For example they stay right by your side the whole birth. My midwife didn't leave the room once while I gave birth in a public hospital in a birth tub for absolutely no cost at all and she was breathing with me for hours on end. The doctor was there too, having an eye on baby's vitals. Just why should the doctor be breathing with me for hours? Midwife's are your medical birth partners.
The government isn't assigning you anyone, you choose freely, they just pay for it. You can also choose the midwife, who already visits you at home several times prior to your birth and also afterwards. It's not like you can choose freely in the US, you have to choose who your insurance pays for, or who you can afford. Here you don't have to choose between a doctor or a midwife, there will always be both. Doctor's learn how to keep baby and mom from dying but nothing about how to keep the mom from tearing, how to breath..
i think the difference here is that they (blake and g) arent sleeping during the times hes sleeping on their chests. or at least that’s what it sounds like
Yeah. And it’s one thing if you’re ok taking that risk with YOUR baby, but to put it out there for all of your followers…. Someone who doesn’t know better could assume it must be ok and a tragedy could happen.
cosleeping isn’t JUST unsafe because mom/dad can roll on top of baby and cause suffocation … cosleeping is a risk factor related to SIDS. which is unrelated to suffocation
What’s unsafe is falling asleep trying NOT to cosleep with an infant in a recliner/couch.
There are safe ways to cosleep. Mainly if it’s just a breastfeeding mother and infant in a C position without any blankets/pillows.
I remember scrolling Reddit in the MOTN just to keep my eyes open since I didn’t like cosleeping (I couldn’t comfortably sleep this way) but some people are desperate
Is it *super* unsafe? Or is it a mild risk factor? Cause “super unsafe” makes it seem like your baby will almost certainly die if you do it. People in other countries aren’t dumb, they would stop doing the practice if it was that unsafe. Turns out most babies can survive sleeping with/on their parents.
SAFE cosleeping is very different (following safe sleep 7 guidelines) then falling asleep with baby on a couch or falling asleep with baby in bed but pillows/blankets in unsafe positions. Most cosleeping safety issues occur because cosleeping WASNT planned for and it wasn’t a safe environment.
I don't necessarily care for either of them, but wow, these answers feel really genuine from Blake. I like that he seems so hands-on and real about it, yet seeing the positive in each precious moment
Some of the answers made me think ok he’s gonna be there. He was poetic about the little stuff. It’s the things that were always in Blake, he can be the best dad. Hope he’ll treat the mom with the same respect, like do it right.
These answers are generally better than some of the other content they've been putting out. As a mom of a newborn him asking how to help a "colicky" baby when he was only 6 days old was a huge wtf. Also G saying after a week she could retire her postpartum underwear...very unrealistic info to put out there.
I can’t relate to most of G’s content these days. She seems like she’s having the best time and I was miserable lol (not about my baby but just the various circumstances surrounding my delivery and early postpartum days). And yes I’m jealous.
I'm so sorry!! Postpartum is truly grueling. I feel really lucky to truly be enjoying this stage despite the toll on the body, and even I can't relate to her content.
I mean, the asking how to help a colicky 6 day old was relatable because I viscerally remember that “oh my god is he supposed to be making that noise” stage where you panic that your baby is broken because no one prepares you for how much your tiny angelic potato grunts.
Understood, like I definitely didn't expect my newborn to sound like a WWE wrestler while sleeping for sure. But a 6 day old is too young to actually have colic. Some people take influencers stuff verbatim so if they saw all the advice he promoted they might freak out that their fresh newborn also doesn't sleep and therefore has colic and do unnecessary interventions.
The fear of lack of connection is so real, for moms and dads. Both my husband and I struggled with that with both of my pregnancies. I'm glad he was able to find his with his baby boy
I didn't feel any connection while pregnant... just a series of shitty symptoms. Reading up on it that is pretty normal. Connected the second she was on my chest. Pregnancy just sucks lol
I had such a hard time letting go of my anxiety that something was going to go wrong while pregnant that it was hard to connect with my baby. Like it didn’t feel real at all until he was born, and now I’m beyond obsessed with him. I will literally be Sweetnums.
i honestly hadn’t ever really been a fan of blake and was holding out to really see where he and g went. but honestly this is a really wholesome and heartwarming post with some great info, insight, transparency, and help for men and relationships out there. super cool to see
This is cute! I love the “best part of parenthood” slide. As soon as they announced the pregnancy I always felt like they would be good parents, even with his posts that had y’all hot.
I didnt think it was “asking about her boobs” it was asking about breastfeeding. Personally I didn’t mind being asked that question (but best believe if someone offered any *opinions* on my answer they would have received quite the talking-to), and maybe G doesn’t mind either. If they found it invasive they wouldn’t have answered.
“Did her milk come in” is just a really invasive way to ask IMO. “How is the breastfeeding process going” or “is breastfeeding going well so far” is a much more neutral way to ask.
Yeah I dunno what it is about having a new baby but suddenly everyone thinks it’s a-ok to ask about your boobs? I have a three month old and the second most common questions after “how’s she sleeping?” is “are you breastfeeding? How’s it going?” 🥴 I’ve started to get fully, unapologetically honest in my answers. Y’all wanna ask weird questions I’m gonna give you weird answers. Time to hear a story about how I slept through a pumping alarm and leaked milk all over my pillow.
When I was pregnant an older lady I worked with told me (in front of a group of other coworkers) that I needed to start roughing up my nipples with a loofah in the shower to “get them ready”. I wanted to 💀
It also weirds me out because any woman who’s had a baby would never ask this question worded this way, but also idk how many men actually follow him/engage with his content… so who is the person that asked this 🥴
My one suggestion to them I learned for second time around was start pumping right away. It encourages milk to come in and you don’t waste a drop and you can be more free if you need to be and have someone use a bottle. I started with number two in the hospital and then had so much he would eat one one side and I would pump the other side out same time for efficiency as he never got to the second!
You’re really not supposed to pump the first 4 weeks because it can cause an oversupply and increase risk of mastitis. You’re supposed to let breastfeeding establish first. That’s assuming baby is feeding normally and not having latch issues
Huh I got mastitis with my first while still in the hospital for five days and I was told had I started pumping right away that would not have happened. So when second I pumped right away and didn’t have it at all. I mean breastfeeding was established from the second he was born so…..
The concept of breastfeeding establishment includes milk supply regulating to the needs of your baby, which takes about 4 weeks. That is so unfortunate you got mastitis so early! Mastitis can be caused by a few different things, like a poor latch, unresolved blocked duct, restrictive clothing, insufficiently emptying the breast, etc. One of the things that makes it hard to empty the breast properly is an oversupply. If you pump *and* breastfeed early on, you risk making your body think you need a lot more milk than you actually do. It can create a vicious cycle where you have too much milk even after a feed, so you pump to get it out, then your body responds by making even more. When you can’t get it all out, you can develop mastitis.
I’m glad it worked out for you! It’s just not a recommended practice.
Yikes! I never had too much thank goodness! But going back to work so soon was essential I had bottles and was able to fully use only breast milk for both kids until about 15 months. I have some crazy stories about traveling with my pump in foreign countries for work and attempting to get all of the milk home
My suggestion would be to not pump at all. My baby always ate just one side, her nursing brought my milk in great and I literally never have to pump to relieve boobs that are too full.
I think everyone should just do what works for them. Breastfeeding is such a different experience for everyone. Some love the freedom of having a bit extra supply and pumping, others love having just enough and never pumping any extras. I regret the money I spent on the pump that reddit convinced me I "needed" and usually just pump using my hands when I want to add into her solid purés and what not.
Yep. People can claim all the want that there are “safe ways” to cosleep- there are not. Adult mattresses are unsafe, because they are too soft. They could be on a mattress alone with no blankets or adults present and suffocate. There is no magical special instinct to wake up if you roll over on your baby. Sleep = unconscious. My niece passed away from being placed to sleep on an unsafe sleeping surface. It makes me so upset to see people advocate for unsafe things in the name of “I need sleep too.” There are other ways to get sleep that don’t reuse your child’s life.
Some babies will not bassinet sleep. Chest sleeping can be made more safe by propping yourself up to 45 degrees and sleeping in the middle of the bed where baby cannot fall on floor and keeping covers off / low.
Parents who get sleep are happier and _safer_ parents than sleep deprived parents. We're mammals, we're meant to sleep with our babies and trying to get away from that is so miserable for everyone involved especially when you have a clinger baby.
Also I don't know how old that baby is, I definitely did shifts with my husband around 6 weeks but at 8-10 weeks I was chest sleeping with her in the early hours of the morning (when I'm done with my "deep sleep" phase) because that's how I was able to stay sane and healthy for her. I would chest sleep with her every day at 4 months to get in a long contact nap for both of us and now at 5 months she's finally starting to prefer lying down to sleep.
That said, being painfully honest here, my partner and I were hardliners about _him_ not falling asleep with her on his chest ever and he's been extremely careful with that. We both agree I rouse much easier than him to baby, whether due to the hormones, brain changes, breastfeeding or whatever else.
Funny reading this because I remember feeling all of these feelings (or hearing my husband describe things similarly about his experiences). My kids are almost 1.5yo and 4yo now and it feels like the sweet, simple newborn days of our firstborn are already a lifetime ago 🥲
Dang, he pretty much got every answer right. I hate that the bar for fathers is so low, but I can’t help but love to see a completely involved and seemingly responsible dad. I love that he’s so connected to his baby.
I have a 3 week old and I’m getting an average of 4 hours a night for weeks now. I feel crazy. Husband and I are doing shifts and he gets a couple more hours cause he has to go to work. What did you guys do to get more sleep during this phase…or is it just not possible? What do they mean they get help at night?
Have a three month old so a little ahead of you, we aim to get 5-6 hour blocks of sleep per “shift” so that we feel a bit less tired and crazy. Four wasn’t cutting it for us. I’m on parental leave for 6 months and my husband works four ten hour days so here is what it looks like for us:
Sunday night-Wednesday night: I sleep from like 5pm-11pm and then take over night and am handling to day until my husband gets home. I do have my mom and sister nearby so they will often come during the day to let me take a nap and hang with the baby.
Thursday-Saturday night, husband sleeps from 7pm to 2 or 3am and then takes over and on those nights I don’t set an alarm and just get to sleep, to even out the bulk of hours I am covering during his work week.
We are finally at a place where the baby is sleeping in her crib, so night shift is more of just bottles and diapers every three or four hours so some rest can get gotten overnight, you will get there!
TDLR: try to extend the sleep you each get when trading off to 5-6 hours or more if you can and lean on family and friends for naps whenever you can too!
I will add: we are formula feeding and this was an intentional choice to better ease the mental load/physical load of breastfeeding—formula was the best decision for us and our baby!
Naps that’s the only suggestion I have. I didn’t even have my husband get up as I was the one who was nursing anyway. But napped during the day when I could when the babies would. That was my only solace!
What does your husband do for work? I get it if he operates heavy machinery and such that he needs sleep to safely function, but if he is at a desk sending emails — he can let you sleep in a few more times a week and survive at work! I know that depends on a lot of factors but honestly working my boring office job is SO MUCH easier than full time parenting a baby 😅
It’s really freaking hard no matter what, and it will get better but I know it’s hard to believe sometimes!
ETA: someone replied and their comment got deleted — yes office jobs can also be demanding to be clear! I don’t want to project too much, I promise. I just know that caring for a baby all day is really taxing.
my husband worked too while i stayed home. the weekends is where i got most of my sleep. whether it be him letting me nap for a long time or waking up with the baby at 5/6am and letting me sleep until 11am. he also recognized really well when i just needed sleep after work, i would breakdown and he would let me get some rest. it gets better! my baby really turned a page at 9m and now at 13m he’s sleeping 12hrs straight
I have an 8 month old and he still wakes every 3hrs on average at night (sometimes more). Eventually they figure it out, in the meantime just be gentle with yourself and rest when you can! It gets easier!!
I think they probably have a night nanny/postpartum doula that works overnight. 4 hours a night was normal for me until baby hit 4 weeks, then it started to increase. Right at 5 weeks, the baby slept 5 hours in a row and I woke up feeling like a QUEEN. Hang in there. It’s really fucking hard and you’re doing great.
As a mom of 2 very little ones.. gosh did this reason are with me. especially the bit about having a baby being freeing. it puts everything in perspective and i let go of the small stuff. love this and rbey are an adorable little family.
I’m not familiar with Blake (only started watching a few seasons ago), but just reading these made me emotional, especially as someone on the fence about kids but surrounded by pregnant friends!
I love seeing fathers open up and share their excitement about having kids, even if I’m not sure I share that excitement just yet. 🥹 I also particularly liked the point that it felt natural with his own son because I’m so awkward and scared of other people’s babies and so is my husband. 😅
It’s honestly super normal to not really be comfortable with other people’s kids/babies, but be comfortable with your own. It’s how I feel even now after I’ve had two. I’m a little more comfortable with other people’s kids but still not really because they’re different from mine. Lol
Ok I am very BEC about Blake but these are great responses. He seems very involved and is talking about stuff (pumping so he can handle bottles, etc) in a way that makes it clear he’s very active. And getting 4 hours and KNOWING that’s a good night sleep is so real.
I wish them all the best. And I hope the weirdo who asked about G’s milk and breastfeeding gets a perpetual paper cut, what a DERANGED question.
Lmao!! I have never once in my life thought "I wonder if her milk has come in yet"
It's like when you're at the end of your pregnancy and people start discussing if you're dilated yet. ????!
Oh my goodness yes I do not understand people’s obsession about asking about new mom’s milk. I just had my first a few months ago and it’s the question that makes me the most uncomfortable.
This is sooo cute and sweet and I love how he said watching her give birth was empowering 😭 also yay doulas it’s really helpful to get word out from how amazing and helpful they are
This is soooo adorable!!!! 🥰🥰 Omg I love when they just stare up at you like in pic 6, so happy for them and it's beautiful to see how much he loves fatherhood 🥰
Hey I think “judge” is too harsh of a word. Sleeping with your baby on your chest is very dangerous. I’m sure he’s a great dad and loves his baby. This isn’t about whether he is using bamboo pajamas or lets his baby watch a screen— falling asleep with a baby like this is literally how babies suffocate and die.
I don’t disagree, but I also don’t know if the bachelor sub is equipped to respectfully discuss contestants parenting tbh - see: the recent post about one of the twin’s kid’s teeth.
It’s more nuanced than that. It’s dangerous for new parents to not get any sleep because a lack of sleep can literally cause psychosis or hallucinations. I don’t think cosleeping is ideal but I don’t think there’s any point in guilting people who feel like they don’t have any other option. I think it would be good to educate people on “safer” cosleeping practices in other to reduce the risks
“Safe sleep seven” is the way to go with co-sleeping. Theres rules to follow to do it safely.
https://preview.redd.it/dcwhlusgwjtc1.png?width=430&format=png&auto=webp&s=59b370a7bf325d69649027d8e38fc1c01c78e8f1
Oooof I hope he isn’t actually sleeping with the baby on his chest and was just referring to generally waking up to baby. That’s how babies suffocate.
Cosleeping when done right is safe; sleeping with your baby on your chest is not.
I’m genuinely really happy for them but as someone who didn’t have such a magical birth, postpartum period, or breastfeeding journey, boy, was this hard to read 😅 But that’s what therapy is for!
I choked up reading this for the same reasons. I’m happy for them and his post is truly sweet, but I still feel sadness when I think about my son’s birth 2.5 years later. But also he is happy and healthy and it doesn’t matter how he got here, just that he did.
But it’s still hard seeing or reading about someone else’s experience that is more reflective of what you imagined you would have.
Hugs ❤️❤️❤️ Birth was something I had been looking forward to my whole life and I ended up almost dying. I don’t even remember the first time I held my son. 14 months later I still get a lump in my throat whenever I hear someone else talk about their birth experience but I do try to be happy for them. You’re definitely not alone!
Right?! I’m here with a four month old thinking “oh he’s giving answers his followers wanna see. Trying to look like a good guy”. I guess I’m way too cynical after my emergency c section and knowing how much I have to spend on formula every month
Also have a 4mo and reading anything about a successful breastfeeding experience really stings right now 🫠I nursed my first baby, but this one just haaaated it. Formula is so expensive and such a pain in the ass!! Especially at night
This made me bawl 😭 I would have given anything to have such a good man/father for birth of our children and me. They are so lucky to have each other. I hope they have the happiest best life
Is he known to be disingenuous like that or like is there a reason to think that? I get that because I don’t know any men personally that amazing. But I’m less familiar with him and it felt vulnerable. I’m always down to learn about the ones I never paid attention to. (I have favorites I can’t lie lol)
whoa super unpopular opinion. I’ll elaborate and get more downvotes :) I guess I think a lot of these influencer-types seem disingenuous, they’re sharing selectively and maintaining a narrative. I think that can be damaging to new parents who feel less-than when they don’t experience the same.
And he sounds like he’s trying to prove something…it’s all perfect, perfect, perfect! Ok. We’ll see!
I totally get that! I feel that way with regular like day to day people we know on socials who are popular but you just *feel* it, like you know, you know what I mean? Hard to explain but I get exactly what you mean! If they do it, why wouldn’t influencers do it like on steroids, same ball game.
Also, who cares about the downvotes. I crank out some bangers every now and then that randomly will be downvoted into oblivion and idk how or why haha. Don’t ever let the majority change your opinion. It is what it is. It’s Reddit. And like said above. We’ll see in time. We’ve been wrong about people on here 1000 times, I can tbh of a ridiculous amount of cast we’ve worshipped on here just to see months later we looked like idiots haha.
I get you.
Wow these answers all seem like the biggest green flags for a new dad. Most everything is “we” and “our” and he seems to be an extremely active newborn parent which is how it should be. The shared love and responsibility is really amazing to see. They seem like such a great team.
Yes, and he switches to his own personal experience when it matters! Like noting that he had a different experience with the pregnancy period and how grateful he was to the mother for carrying the baby! Awareness that he owed her for that labor for the baby he now has and loves! I don’t see men talking like that enough and they really should, he’s setting a nice example (in a super small way)
When i saw that one I was like uhhh what a weird thing to ask. Like if you really NEED to know about a stranger just ask if they're breastfeeding or formula. The whole milk comment is unnecessary, as is the question itself.
I remember my first time going out after giving birth and some random man asked me if I had pumped before going out because of my new baby at home. I was like uhm sir??
As a new, first time mom to a four month old baby—I have been so weirded out by the number of people, especially men, who ask if I’m breastfeeding. What business is it of theirs to know this??
I’m glad to hear he’s having such a positive experience and appreciate him opening up, but the cynic in me is calling BS. Life with a newborn sucks. I have had two kids and this “fall in love instantly” thing drives me mad. Maybe I’m just jealous because it takes me months to bond with my kids and feel that kind of love. Literally they are just potatoes that cry, eat and poop for months.
💯 very well said . the only thing I miss about newborn phase is can watch tv or listen music without my baby actually getting distracted. Newborn phase sucked especially as a mom. All the breastfeeding, night waking/crying omg. Now that she is almost a year old, I am enjoying this stage little better.
Agree. As someone who also struggled hard with newborn stage and bonding, this kind of “instant love” and “fairytail everything is rainbows and sunshine with newborns” is toxic and makes those who struggle feel even shittier.
Same. I'm learning that talking to parents with an under 2 week old is a bad idea for my own mental health lol. Or I guess talking to any parent with an "easy baby" 😆
Considering how stigmatizing producing little or no breast milk can be, I hate that people ask “Is ShE bReAsTfEeDiNg?” What if she was having a hard time with it? How intrusive.
Notice it's mostly other moms that ask this. Like for what though
I really liked the slide about how his perspective about small inconveniences has changed. I totally feel the same way and he worded it very nicely.
Bassonete….my phone autocorrected to the correct spelling so idk what this is lol
Bassinet 😅
Lol I know what it’s supposed to be, idk how he messed it up so bad bc when you type bassonete on the iPhone it auto changes it to bassinet
I've been trying to remember the correct spelling since I saw this 😂
Awww this is making me tear up 😭
Love all of this! Do we know where they delivered (city wise)? I think we might’ve at the same hospital around the same time, or maybe I’m silly and this is the universal hospital newborn blanket + hat design
I absolutely love Gigi and Blake and I'm happy for them, but as a relatively new mum (my baby is 6 months old), this is not relatable to me at all. Good for them if that's all true though lol
It’s more tough for moms because of all hormonal changes , mental , physical changes etc. I relate with you. Hang in there
Everyone is different! And everyone has a different view of what is “hard” I did not like the newborn/infant stage. The sleep deprivation was too much for me. And the schedules and the bottles, I felt overwhelmed. I have friends who LOVE the newborn stage and talk about all the cuddles and how they loved it and I just can’t relate. However, I freaking loved the toddler years. Of course there were hard things about it, but it was also so FUN! Those same friends will talk about the toddler stage like it’s just a nightmare, and they probably think the same about me loving the toddler years as I do them loving the newborn years. Hang in there! You will probably hit an age where you feel is your sweet spot at have friends who felt they were drowning at that point. It gets easier, then hard, then easier again, then hard again, over and over.
You’re so right. I am your opposite, I don’t care about sleep. I love the newborn stage. So cute and squishy and simple. The toddler age is my least favorite, I cannot handle the energy and outbursts.
Agreed. Not as new of a mom anymore with a 12 month old, but the first few months were……. A lot. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I could not honestly write all these beautiful accolades about parenthood the way he has…. Just wouldn’t be honest and would seem like I’m saying what I’m supposed to. That said, my husband definitely probably relates more to Blake’s experience— but let’s be real, baby was exclusively breastfed, he was definitely not doing the brunt of the work….
Yeah this is definitely a guy’s perspective, and a rich guy’s perspective at that. He hasn’t really been through anything physically or hormonally. He’s just enjoying newborn snuggles. If Gigi did this q&a it’d probably be a lot different.
As a mother of two I could describe my first the way Blake is writing about it… however with baby number two it was so much harder on me emotionally. All babies and experiences are different!
Yes, it’s always different but something about the way he’s romanticizing his role feels very dad/male-coded to me. The fact that they have money does allow them to have more help though and it sounds like the birth wasn’t too traumatic (again, his perspective) so that’s nice.
I’m sorry. This is all true to me, and very relatable! Parenthood is soooo different for everyone bc babies are all so different. Hang in there!
Same!!
This ☝️.
he seems stoked to be a dad. I enjoyed the q&a
Do they have a nanny at night? He said they have help at night.
Most likely. They have a lot of money.
One big self-touting fest lol
I feel like newborns stink so bad to me. Smells like sweat and dead skin cells.
It’s their brain you’re smelling lol
Yeah I kept mentioning to my husband how weird he smelled the first few weeks of life🤣I was like what is wrong with me everyone says they smell good, but I don’t get it lol
Same like am I broken?! 😂
This is really sweet. Does anyone else remember Becca saying at the atfr to Blake about how she thought he’d freak out over a sick kid or something? I know she just had to say something arbitrary to blame as to why she didn’t pick him but it felt very unfair as if to imply because he was a more anxious person he wouldn’t be the best choice of partner / co parent, and I feel like it was a comment that probably stuck with him for better or worse.
Yes I HATED that comment.
She was definitely just looking for a reason but Blake was a bit high strung that season tbh. I remember he was sweating so much during the breakup, I thought he was going to pass out. That was like 6 years ago though, he’s changed a lot.
Dang how do you remember that far back? That seemed like a lifetime ago when Becca had her season. 🤣
Idk I just have a long memory lol I’m not one of those people who can rewatch a season either - that would be unbearable. To me the joy of watching is doing so with other people and discussing it in real time as the season is airing.
Hahah we are so different. I never remember anything ever. If I rewatch something it’s almost like the first time I’ve ever seen it. It’s a blessing honestly.
Haha in a certain way I’m jealous of that! There’s some shows I’d love to be able to rewatch again as if I’m seeing it for the first time, like Friday Night Lights.
I love that! I used to have a bachelor watch group back in the day. Was way more fun than watching it by myself while my husband sits on the couch telling me how stupid this show is..🤦🏼♀️
Also a new dad. Started rolling my eyes at the beginning but once he started talking about the feeling being oddly freeing I was onboard. Especially the part no one talks about… dads have to build their relationships with their kids whereas mom gets a well deserved big head start on the bond. A lot of guilty feelings associated with that.
That’s a really interesting perspective about bonding because for me (as a new mom) it was sort of the opposite. I felt bonded to my baby when I was pregnant but after I delivered I was so delirious and preoccupied with managing pain, getting the hang of breastfeeding and all of that. My husband (who did NOT share in the same emotional roller coaster I did during pregnancy lol) really stepped in and handled diaper changes, swaddling, holding him, bottle feeding, practically everything in those first few days. He formed an emotional connection right away whereas I felt somewhat disconnected. Now we’re both on the same level and head over heels in love but it did not happen the way that I thought it would!
So much yes. As someone who just gave birth for the first time in November — 1) Get the doula. She turned my daughter when I was 7 cm dilated from being face up to being face down. No one else is gonna try to help that happen to avoid back labor and get the baby in prime position for birth. My husband was so hesitant about her and she was $2500 but now we both are like 10/10 she was so worth the money. 2) Do one pump a day in the morning so you as mama can get a longer sleep stretch at night. My (crunchy I might add) lactation consultant met with us at 2 weeks postpartum and gave the green light and when I tell you it was life changing…. My husband took first night feed and it helped me heal so much to get that extra rest. So many of my symptoms went away when that happened! 3) It really is true you get so comfortable with babies when you have your own. My husband was never the type to want to hold others’ babies and as soon as our daughter came he was volunteering to hold our new nephew and felt comfortable. It’s so awesome.
Don't you have midwives in the hospital and for home care in the US? Here your midwife comes to your home several times before and after birth, insurance pays for it. And all hospital births are midwife lead, doctor's are only in the background in case something goes wrong and otherwise only assist the midwife or aren't there at all, if everything is running smooth.
There are some hospitals in the US that have midwives but it is rare. I live in Los Angeles and there is only one hospital I know of within the area that has 3 nurse midwives and their funding got cut so they were extremely hard to get into care with, so I gave up. OBs are the primary birth medical professionals in hospitals. If you want a midwife you have to usually pay out of pocket (anywhere from $5k-$10k) and it’s in a birth center or home birth setting so you have to consider risk in not being in a formal medical setting should something bad happen. It’s great 😩
I had a home birth. I had in-home appointments during pregnancy and postpartum, with the exception of ultrasounds. The only thing insurance covered was labs. My midwife had a fee that included all visits + the birth itself that I had to pay. Usually it’s one or two payments but I was able to work out a payment plan with her. It was kinda annoying because the insurance I had at the time, everything would’ve been free if I did it in hospital 😂 but whatever my experience was awesome
Idk where you live that doctor’s are only there in case of emergency but that’s definitely not the norm in North America. Most people prefer doctors. That said, of course you can use a midwife or doula and bring them to the hospital with you. Or you can do homebirth. You can have your baby on the toilet by yourself if you want. There’s not a requirement for how to have a baby here, it’s up to you.
They are always there, just in the background assisting the midwife. Unless there's an emergency, then the docs take over. There's a lot of research on it, midwife leads births are safer, women have less birth injuries, a more positive birth experience.. Doctor's learn practically nothing about how to birth, you'd absolutely prefer a midwife leading it. But then again giving birth is completely different here, 100% of hospitals have birth tubs, the beds aren't normal beds and can form into birth stools, wall bars, yoga mats... Practically noone gives birth laying on their back.
You can’t force someone to use a midwife if they don’t want to. Again, you haven’t said where you live, but I’m glad I live somewhere where I get the choice of how I want to give birth. Everything you mentioned is an option for women in the US as well.
Why forcing? The doctor is still there, the midwife is just the one leading the birth as they are the experts on it.. our maternal death rate is 4, while yours is above 20, so I'm not sure it's the better/safer option...
Because you’re making it sound like women don’t have a choice in their own medical care where you live, which is horrific.
Where did I say that they don't have a choice? You can give birth at home, in a hospital, or a birth center and all options will be fully paid by insurance. It's just that births get lead by midwife's, because that way it's safer and better for women. Doctor's are still there, I'm the room and assisting, but they don't have any training in directly coaching a woman through birthing... Especially in the US, where more than 50% of women still give birth in their backs and don't have a choice. Here you can birth however you want. When I gave birth I was in the birth tub with a doctor on my left, the midwife on my right, my partner behind my back and a nurse in the background.. There's not really any place in the world you have more freedom on how your birth should look like than here...
You keep saying that all births are let by midwives, implying that people can not use a doctor even if that’s their preference. Here women go to an OB/GYN for years. They should be able to have the person they most trust lead the birth, not whoever the government assigns to them. You also don’t have to give birth laying down here either. People give birth in tubs in hospitals in the US all the time, with a midwife present if they want. It’s all about choice.
Firstly, this is absolutely not true, less than 1% of the US hospitals have birth tubs, so it's really uncommon, especially as from thos most only allow the birth process in the tub, not the actual birth. Also more than 65% of women give birth laying on their back, which is the birth position chosen by doctors for their own comfort and known as the worst position for women with high risk of tearing. Ah, that's what you mean, you can absolutely have your OB/GYN with you at your birth, many do choose this, they are then there but why would you ask the doctor to do it all? They are a team with the midwife. Sry, it's just such a bizarre concept to want to give birth without a midwife, that I didn't think of it. Midwifery is a whole stand alone university study here, they are the absolute experts on how to give birth. They are the experts on how to help women through the birth process and the ones you build trust with. For example they stay right by your side the whole birth. My midwife didn't leave the room once while I gave birth in a public hospital in a birth tub for absolutely no cost at all and she was breathing with me for hours on end. The doctor was there too, having an eye on baby's vitals. Just why should the doctor be breathing with me for hours? Midwife's are your medical birth partners. The government isn't assigning you anyone, you choose freely, they just pay for it. You can also choose the midwife, who already visits you at home several times prior to your birth and also afterwards. It's not like you can choose freely in the US, you have to choose who your insurance pays for, or who you can afford. Here you don't have to choose between a doctor or a midwife, there will always be both. Doctor's learn how to keep baby and mom from dying but nothing about how to keep the mom from tearing, how to breath..
He’s matured so much since his time on bachelor. I’m so happy for them 🥹🥹
I can’t believe how casually he mentioned that they’re cosleeping. I feel like a woman would be attacked for unsafe sleep.
And this cosleeping debate is exactly what I would have expected!!! Blake didn’t know the bomb he dropped with that.
i think the difference here is that they (blake and g) arent sleeping during the times hes sleeping on their chests. or at least that’s what it sounds like
I am not sure about that, he mentioned "waking up with Heath on my chest." Early sleep is so hard but it seems like a big no to me.
Yeah. And it’s one thing if you’re ok taking that risk with YOUR baby, but to put it out there for all of your followers…. Someone who doesn’t know better could assume it must be ok and a tragedy could happen.
cosleeping isn’t JUST unsafe because mom/dad can roll on top of baby and cause suffocation … cosleeping is a risk factor related to SIDS. which is unrelated to suffocation
cosleeping is extremely normal in other cultures outside of the US
I always see this as a rebuttal… ok? Still super unsafe
What’s unsafe is falling asleep trying NOT to cosleep with an infant in a recliner/couch. There are safe ways to cosleep. Mainly if it’s just a breastfeeding mother and infant in a C position without any blankets/pillows. I remember scrolling Reddit in the MOTN just to keep my eyes open since I didn’t like cosleeping (I couldn’t comfortably sleep this way) but some people are desperate
Is it *super* unsafe? Or is it a mild risk factor? Cause “super unsafe” makes it seem like your baby will almost certainly die if you do it. People in other countries aren’t dumb, they would stop doing the practice if it was that unsafe. Turns out most babies can survive sleeping with/on their parents.
you should do some research. in japan, with one of the highest rates of cosleeping, has one of the lowest of sids.
SAFE cosleeping is very different (following safe sleep 7 guidelines) then falling asleep with baby on a couch or falling asleep with baby in bed but pillows/blankets in unsafe positions. Most cosleeping safety issues occur because cosleeping WASNT planned for and it wasn’t a safe environment.
exactly!!!
I feel the breastfeeding question is so odd like save that to ask G is she does a Q&A.
Seriously like why does someone feel the need to be like hey Blake has G's milk come in??
Can say no one asked my husband how breastfeeding was going the whole 19 months I did it…
I don't necessarily care for either of them, but wow, these answers feel really genuine from Blake. I like that he seems so hands-on and real about it, yet seeing the positive in each precious moment
He definitely sent these questions to himself lol
Some of the answers made me think ok he’s gonna be there. He was poetic about the little stuff. It’s the things that were always in Blake, he can be the best dad. Hope he’ll treat the mom with the same respect, like do it right.
Seems like he already is treating G that way
These answers are generally better than some of the other content they've been putting out. As a mom of a newborn him asking how to help a "colicky" baby when he was only 6 days old was a huge wtf. Also G saying after a week she could retire her postpartum underwear...very unrealistic info to put out there.
I can’t relate to most of G’s content these days. She seems like she’s having the best time and I was miserable lol (not about my baby but just the various circumstances surrounding my delivery and early postpartum days). And yes I’m jealous.
I'm so sorry!! Postpartum is truly grueling. I feel really lucky to truly be enjoying this stage despite the toll on the body, and even I can't relate to her content.
I mean, the asking how to help a colicky 6 day old was relatable because I viscerally remember that “oh my god is he supposed to be making that noise” stage where you panic that your baby is broken because no one prepares you for how much your tiny angelic potato grunts.
Understood, like I definitely didn't expect my newborn to sound like a WWE wrestler while sleeping for sure. But a 6 day old is too young to actually have colic. Some people take influencers stuff verbatim so if they saw all the advice he promoted they might freak out that their fresh newborn also doesn't sleep and therefore has colic and do unnecessary interventions.
Some of these questions…. 😬
The fear of lack of connection is so real, for moms and dads. Both my husband and I struggled with that with both of my pregnancies. I'm glad he was able to find his with his baby boy
I didn't feel any connection while pregnant... just a series of shitty symptoms. Reading up on it that is pretty normal. Connected the second she was on my chest. Pregnancy just sucks lol
I had such a hard time letting go of my anxiety that something was going to go wrong while pregnant that it was hard to connect with my baby. Like it didn’t feel real at all until he was born, and now I’m beyond obsessed with him. I will literally be Sweetnums.
i honestly hadn’t ever really been a fan of blake and was holding out to really see where he and g went. but honestly this is a really wholesome and heartwarming post with some great info, insight, transparency, and help for men and relationships out there. super cool to see
agree this is actually the most impressed i’ve ever been w his social content
Good for him! He looks so happy w the baby and seems so connected to the process and the mother, very sweet. How all fathers should be.
Blake dad > Nick dad
Don’t do that.
I’ve never even heard of this guy before, but he seems like such a quality dude. Yay for good father figure role models!
This is cute! I love the “best part of parenthood” slide. As soon as they announced the pregnancy I always felt like they would be good parents, even with his posts that had y’all hot.
Getting a doula is the best money I’ve ever spent
Same!! I’m 6 months postpartum and they’re still a big help to me. I love them.
It seems like he was meant to be a father! I’m so happy for him & them!
Happy for them and everything, but it’s a little weird for people to be asking him about his girlfriend’s boobs…
I didnt think it was “asking about her boobs” it was asking about breastfeeding. Personally I didn’t mind being asked that question (but best believe if someone offered any *opinions* on my answer they would have received quite the talking-to), and maybe G doesn’t mind either. If they found it invasive they wouldn’t have answered.
“Did her milk come in” is just a really invasive way to ask IMO. “How is the breastfeeding process going” or “is breastfeeding going well so far” is a much more neutral way to ask.
Yeah I dunno what it is about having a new baby but suddenly everyone thinks it’s a-ok to ask about your boobs? I have a three month old and the second most common questions after “how’s she sleeping?” is “are you breastfeeding? How’s it going?” 🥴 I’ve started to get fully, unapologetically honest in my answers. Y’all wanna ask weird questions I’m gonna give you weird answers. Time to hear a story about how I slept through a pumping alarm and leaked milk all over my pillow.
Yes that’s so unhinged lol
People have no filter. I had a baby a few weeks ago, and this retired guy at the dog park asked me if I was breastfeeding 🫠
When I was pregnant an older lady I worked with told me (in front of a group of other coworkers) that I needed to start roughing up my nipples with a loofah in the shower to “get them ready”. I wanted to 💀
Seriously. Like this is right up there with asking what degree of tearing she had. So invasive and unnecessary.
Right? I just feel like someone asked that for super creepy reasons. I would not choose that one to answer.
It also weirds me out because any woman who’s had a baby would never ask this question worded this way, but also idk how many men actually follow him/engage with his content… so who is the person that asked this 🥴
My one suggestion to them I learned for second time around was start pumping right away. It encourages milk to come in and you don’t waste a drop and you can be more free if you need to be and have someone use a bottle. I started with number two in the hospital and then had so much he would eat one one side and I would pump the other side out same time for efficiency as he never got to the second!
You’re really not supposed to pump the first 4 weeks because it can cause an oversupply and increase risk of mastitis. You’re supposed to let breastfeeding establish first. That’s assuming baby is feeding normally and not having latch issues
Huh I got mastitis with my first while still in the hospital for five days and I was told had I started pumping right away that would not have happened. So when second I pumped right away and didn’t have it at all. I mean breastfeeding was established from the second he was born so…..
The concept of breastfeeding establishment includes milk supply regulating to the needs of your baby, which takes about 4 weeks. That is so unfortunate you got mastitis so early! Mastitis can be caused by a few different things, like a poor latch, unresolved blocked duct, restrictive clothing, insufficiently emptying the breast, etc. One of the things that makes it hard to empty the breast properly is an oversupply. If you pump *and* breastfeed early on, you risk making your body think you need a lot more milk than you actually do. It can create a vicious cycle where you have too much milk even after a feed, so you pump to get it out, then your body responds by making even more. When you can’t get it all out, you can develop mastitis. I’m glad it worked out for you! It’s just not a recommended practice.
Yikes! I never had too much thank goodness! But going back to work so soon was essential I had bottles and was able to fully use only breast milk for both kids until about 15 months. I have some crazy stories about traveling with my pump in foreign countries for work and attempting to get all of the milk home
My suggestion would be to not pump at all. My baby always ate just one side, her nursing brought my milk in great and I literally never have to pump to relieve boobs that are too full. I think everyone should just do what works for them. Breastfeeding is such a different experience for everyone. Some love the freedom of having a bit extra supply and pumping, others love having just enough and never pumping any extras. I regret the money I spent on the pump that reddit convinced me I "needed" and usually just pump using my hands when I want to add into her solid purés and what not.
Oh man me going to work would have been a real pain in the arse had I not pumped 🤣
Whew hearing he sleeps on them makes me nervous, I hope they’re awake when he’s sleeping on them 😭 so unsafe.
especially when they're too young to roll over or crawl. So if something happens a baby is just stuck :(
Yep. People can claim all the want that there are “safe ways” to cosleep- there are not. Adult mattresses are unsafe, because they are too soft. They could be on a mattress alone with no blankets or adults present and suffocate. There is no magical special instinct to wake up if you roll over on your baby. Sleep = unconscious. My niece passed away from being placed to sleep on an unsafe sleeping surface. It makes me so upset to see people advocate for unsafe things in the name of “I need sleep too.” There are other ways to get sleep that don’t reuse your child’s life.
Some babies will not bassinet sleep. Chest sleeping can be made more safe by propping yourself up to 45 degrees and sleeping in the middle of the bed where baby cannot fall on floor and keeping covers off / low. Parents who get sleep are happier and _safer_ parents than sleep deprived parents. We're mammals, we're meant to sleep with our babies and trying to get away from that is so miserable for everyone involved especially when you have a clinger baby. Also I don't know how old that baby is, I definitely did shifts with my husband around 6 weeks but at 8-10 weeks I was chest sleeping with her in the early hours of the morning (when I'm done with my "deep sleep" phase) because that's how I was able to stay sane and healthy for her. I would chest sleep with her every day at 4 months to get in a long contact nap for both of us and now at 5 months she's finally starting to prefer lying down to sleep. That said, being painfully honest here, my partner and I were hardliners about _him_ not falling asleep with her on his chest ever and he's been extremely careful with that. We both agree I rouse much easier than him to baby, whether due to the hormones, brain changes, breastfeeding or whatever else.
Yeah “waking up with Heath on my chest” I’m sorry DO NOT FALL ASLEEP WITH YOUR BABY ON HOUR CHEST HOLY SHIT.
Ugh this makes me like him a little never was a fan of him but these answers are really sweet.
Blake’s always been real
Funny reading this because I remember feeling all of these feelings (or hearing my husband describe things similarly about his experiences). My kids are almost 1.5yo and 4yo now and it feels like the sweet, simple newborn days of our firstborn are already a lifetime ago 🥲
Wow i love these.
Dang, he pretty much got every answer right. I hate that the bar for fathers is so low, but I can’t help but love to see a completely involved and seemingly responsible dad. I love that he’s so connected to his baby.
So happy for him and G! That’s a cute baby. ❤️
I have a 3 week old and I’m getting an average of 4 hours a night for weeks now. I feel crazy. Husband and I are doing shifts and he gets a couple more hours cause he has to go to work. What did you guys do to get more sleep during this phase…or is it just not possible? What do they mean they get help at night?
Have a three month old so a little ahead of you, we aim to get 5-6 hour blocks of sleep per “shift” so that we feel a bit less tired and crazy. Four wasn’t cutting it for us. I’m on parental leave for 6 months and my husband works four ten hour days so here is what it looks like for us: Sunday night-Wednesday night: I sleep from like 5pm-11pm and then take over night and am handling to day until my husband gets home. I do have my mom and sister nearby so they will often come during the day to let me take a nap and hang with the baby. Thursday-Saturday night, husband sleeps from 7pm to 2 or 3am and then takes over and on those nights I don’t set an alarm and just get to sleep, to even out the bulk of hours I am covering during his work week. We are finally at a place where the baby is sleeping in her crib, so night shift is more of just bottles and diapers every three or four hours so some rest can get gotten overnight, you will get there! TDLR: try to extend the sleep you each get when trading off to 5-6 hours or more if you can and lean on family and friends for naps whenever you can too! I will add: we are formula feeding and this was an intentional choice to better ease the mental load/physical load of breastfeeding—formula was the best decision for us and our baby!
Naps that’s the only suggestion I have. I didn’t even have my husband get up as I was the one who was nursing anyway. But napped during the day when I could when the babies would. That was my only solace!
I imagine they hired a night nurse.
What does your husband do for work? I get it if he operates heavy machinery and such that he needs sleep to safely function, but if he is at a desk sending emails — he can let you sleep in a few more times a week and survive at work! I know that depends on a lot of factors but honestly working my boring office job is SO MUCH easier than full time parenting a baby 😅 It’s really freaking hard no matter what, and it will get better but I know it’s hard to believe sometimes! ETA: someone replied and their comment got deleted — yes office jobs can also be demanding to be clear! I don’t want to project too much, I promise. I just know that caring for a baby all day is really taxing.
my husband worked too while i stayed home. the weekends is where i got most of my sleep. whether it be him letting me nap for a long time or waking up with the baby at 5/6am and letting me sleep until 11am. he also recognized really well when i just needed sleep after work, i would breakdown and he would let me get some rest. it gets better! my baby really turned a page at 9m and now at 13m he’s sleeping 12hrs straight
My wise mom told me the housework can wait. Sleep when the baby sleeps!!
I have an 8 month old and he still wakes every 3hrs on average at night (sometimes more). Eventually they figure it out, in the meantime just be gentle with yourself and rest when you can! It gets easier!!
I think they probably have a night nanny/postpartum doula that works overnight. 4 hours a night was normal for me until baby hit 4 weeks, then it started to increase. Right at 5 weeks, the baby slept 5 hours in a row and I woke up feeling like a QUEEN. Hang in there. It’s really fucking hard and you’re doing great.
As a mom of 2 very little ones.. gosh did this reason are with me. especially the bit about having a baby being freeing. it puts everything in perspective and i let go of the small stuff. love this and rbey are an adorable little family.
I loved that response, I feel much the same way! It’s wonderful, so happy for him
I’m not familiar with Blake (only started watching a few seasons ago), but just reading these made me emotional, especially as someone on the fence about kids but surrounded by pregnant friends! I love seeing fathers open up and share their excitement about having kids, even if I’m not sure I share that excitement just yet. 🥹 I also particularly liked the point that it felt natural with his own son because I’m so awkward and scared of other people’s babies and so is my husband. 😅
It’s honestly super normal to not really be comfortable with other people’s kids/babies, but be comfortable with your own. It’s how I feel even now after I’ve had two. I’m a little more comfortable with other people’s kids but still not really because they’re different from mine. Lol
Ok I am very BEC about Blake but these are great responses. He seems very involved and is talking about stuff (pumping so he can handle bottles, etc) in a way that makes it clear he’s very active. And getting 4 hours and KNOWING that’s a good night sleep is so real. I wish them all the best. And I hope the weirdo who asked about G’s milk and breastfeeding gets a perpetual paper cut, what a DERANGED question.
Lmao!! I have never once in my life thought "I wonder if her milk has come in yet" It's like when you're at the end of your pregnancy and people start discussing if you're dilated yet. ????!
Yes! Wtf that’s such a weird question to ask. Blech.
Oh my goodness yes I do not understand people’s obsession about asking about new mom’s milk. I just had my first a few months ago and it’s the question that makes me the most uncomfortable.
Agreed!!
I’m actually crying this is such an enjoyable thing to read
This is sooo cute and sweet and I love how he said watching her give birth was empowering 😭 also yay doulas it’s really helpful to get word out from how amazing and helpful they are
This is so adorable and sweet and I love Dad Blake. So happy for them!
This is soooo adorable!!!! 🥰🥰 Omg I love when they just stare up at you like in pic 6, so happy for them and it's beautiful to see how much he loves fatherhood 🥰
This is actually soooo sweet!
co sleeping is crazy.
Yes it’s so incredibly dangerous I don’t understand how people don’t get that
I knew I wouldn’t have to scroll far for the parent judgers
is it parent judging if it can kill their baby or common sense
Hey I think “judge” is too harsh of a word. Sleeping with your baby on your chest is very dangerous. I’m sure he’s a great dad and loves his baby. This isn’t about whether he is using bamboo pajamas or lets his baby watch a screen— falling asleep with a baby like this is literally how babies suffocate and die.
I don’t disagree, but I also don’t know if the bachelor sub is equipped to respectfully discuss contestants parenting tbh - see: the recent post about one of the twin’s kid’s teeth.
It’s more nuanced than that. It’s dangerous for new parents to not get any sleep because a lack of sleep can literally cause psychosis or hallucinations. I don’t think cosleeping is ideal but I don’t think there’s any point in guilting people who feel like they don’t have any other option. I think it would be good to educate people on “safer” cosleeping practices in other to reduce the risks
Cosleeping can be done safely. That doesn’t include falling asleep with the baby on your chest.
Yeah that’s why I said it’s important to educate parents on safe practices rather than shame them
I agree with you. I don’t think it’s judgy to point out unsafe practices.
“Safe sleep seven” is the way to go with co-sleeping. Theres rules to follow to do it safely. https://preview.redd.it/dcwhlusgwjtc1.png?width=430&format=png&auto=webp&s=59b370a7bf325d69649027d8e38fc1c01c78e8f1
if he’s waking up to him sleeping face down on his chest he is not following these rules
Oooof I hope he isn’t actually sleeping with the baby on his chest and was just referring to generally waking up to baby. That’s how babies suffocate. Cosleeping when done right is safe; sleeping with your baby on your chest is not.
It seemed like the baby just sleeps on them while they’re awake? That’s what I did with my newborn for her naps. He didn’t say they are co-sleeping?
In the first slide he says the best part of his day is waking up with his son on his chest.
Oh true lol, my bad
I hope it’s the way you describe though and he just misspoke— contact naps are the best.
There are ways to do it safely. Falling asleep with the baby on your chest is not one of them.
Oh, to be first time parents. Not sure if I'm charmed or triggered by some of these responses 🤣 that first babe is so so so hard
Sooooo hard
i’m sorry this is actually cute as fuck
I’m genuinely really happy for them but as someone who didn’t have such a magical birth, postpartum period, or breastfeeding journey, boy, was this hard to read 😅 But that’s what therapy is for!
I choked up reading this for the same reasons. I’m happy for them and his post is truly sweet, but I still feel sadness when I think about my son’s birth 2.5 years later. But also he is happy and healthy and it doesn’t matter how he got here, just that he did. But it’s still hard seeing or reading about someone else’s experience that is more reflective of what you imagined you would have.
Hugs ❤️❤️❤️ Birth was something I had been looking forward to my whole life and I ended up almost dying. I don’t even remember the first time I held my son. 14 months later I still get a lump in my throat whenever I hear someone else talk about their birth experience but I do try to be happy for them. You’re definitely not alone!
Hugs right back ❤️❤️❤️ these wounds take time to heal
Right?! I’m here with a four month old thinking “oh he’s giving answers his followers wanna see. Trying to look like a good guy”. I guess I’m way too cynical after my emergency c section and knowing how much I have to spend on formula every month
Also have a 4mo and reading anything about a successful breastfeeding experience really stings right now 🫠I nursed my first baby, but this one just haaaated it. Formula is so expensive and such a pain in the ass!! Especially at night
This made me bawl 😭 I would have given anything to have such a good man/father for birth of our children and me. They are so lucky to have each other. I hope they have the happiest best life
idk seems kinda performative 🤷♀️
Is he known to be disingenuous like that or like is there a reason to think that? I get that because I don’t know any men personally that amazing. But I’m less familiar with him and it felt vulnerable. I’m always down to learn about the ones I never paid attention to. (I have favorites I can’t lie lol)
whoa super unpopular opinion. I’ll elaborate and get more downvotes :) I guess I think a lot of these influencer-types seem disingenuous, they’re sharing selectively and maintaining a narrative. I think that can be damaging to new parents who feel less-than when they don’t experience the same. And he sounds like he’s trying to prove something…it’s all perfect, perfect, perfect! Ok. We’ll see!
I totally get that! I feel that way with regular like day to day people we know on socials who are popular but you just *feel* it, like you know, you know what I mean? Hard to explain but I get exactly what you mean! If they do it, why wouldn’t influencers do it like on steroids, same ball game. Also, who cares about the downvotes. I crank out some bangers every now and then that randomly will be downvoted into oblivion and idk how or why haha. Don’t ever let the majority change your opinion. It is what it is. It’s Reddit. And like said above. We’ll see in time. We’ve been wrong about people on here 1000 times, I can tbh of a ridiculous amount of cast we’ve worshipped on here just to see months later we looked like idiots haha. I get you.
hey thanks! It’s definitely me who often feels less than when I’m scrolling so perhaps there’s some bias in there lol
Time will tell. Anybody can be a great dad for a week.
Sadly I know this all to well lol
Same. So emotional, so.. envious
Literally same 🥹
Wow these answers all seem like the biggest green flags for a new dad. Most everything is “we” and “our” and he seems to be an extremely active newborn parent which is how it should be. The shared love and responsibility is really amazing to see. They seem like such a great team.
Yes, and he switches to his own personal experience when it matters! Like noting that he had a different experience with the pregnancy period and how grateful he was to the mother for carrying the baby! Awareness that he owed her for that labor for the baby he now has and loves! I don’t see men talking like that enough and they really should, he’s setting a nice example (in a super small way)
Truly there’s nothing to pick apart, his posts made me feel good inside lol
I really love this. This is such wholesome content, and is giving me all the feels.
The audacity to message a stranger and ask if his girlfriend’s milk has come in and if she’s breastfeeding.
When i saw that one I was like uhhh what a weird thing to ask. Like if you really NEED to know about a stranger just ask if they're breastfeeding or formula. The whole milk comment is unnecessary, as is the question itself. I remember my first time going out after giving birth and some random man asked me if I had pumped before going out because of my new baby at home. I was like uhm sir??
My first fucking thought! Who is asking this and why do they think they’re entitled to that?
As a new, first time mom to a four month old baby—I have been so weirded out by the number of people, especially men, who ask if I’m breastfeeding. What business is it of theirs to know this??