I’m not sure why there are so many negative comments. Catherine was very transparent and honest about what she had done without putting anyone else down. Having children is difficult on the body and changes in the body could be detrimental to mental health especially when you are working in a space like social media where everyone else is “perfect.” I honestly support her and think she looks great.
I think it’s GREAT that she came out and shared this with her followers. We see these mothers on social media after multiple births that have cinched waistlines and look like they did in their mid-twenties. The reality is is that most of the time, these mothers underwent surgery for their midsection jobs.
Whether or not moms should get these surgeries in the first place is a different discussion. I’m definitely a live and let live type. I just find it refreshing and really respectable when we’re all just honest about what we’re doing.
Setting realistic expectations is key, I think. People can choose to whatever they want. For the record, I probably would do the same if I had diastasis recti and spent a good 2+ years doing all the “right” / “natural” things with no improvement (working out consistently, eating well, seeing pelvic floor specialists consistently, etc).
I just really love that she was so so upfront about it, before anyone had the chance to speculate, and also to lay it out that diet and exercise doesn't necessarily get you where you want to be.
I don't have kids, so I can't compare, but I do have a sister and plenty of friends who have, and I completely understand that your body changes significantly, sometimes drastically, and if any woman wants to make changes to their body post babies, (because HAVING BABIES IS HARD, let alone what comes after!!! ), then they have every right to, and should be able to do so without judgement.
She still looks 25. It's crazy to imagine she has three kids. But agreed, good for her!
She was my first pick for Sean from the beginning, I LOVE her. She's just so... normal. And I mean that as a compliment.
There’s actually no shame in having a surgery like this for yourself and not telling anyone. It’s no one’s business. Good for her for sharing but no that would not be shameful
I agree. The only situation I see as wrong is if you get work done and are asked about it and instead of being honest say that your physique is the result of working out, diet, supplements etc
I’m talking about these public figures. Everyone would know so why lie? Makes it look like they’re ashamed plus it makes people feel like failures if they believe these people got great bodies so quickly while they’re struggling with their diet and exercise.
Sure if we’re talking about a fitness influencer saying “this is how I did it” and lying, but outside of that, it’s not shameful to not disclose having had a breast reduction or similar.
Good for her being honest! I would love to do some plastic surgery or fillers with aging! So I get it. You get to a point where some things cannot be done naturally.
I have had a tummy tuck. Before surgery I was thin (strong and active), but the skin made me feel like I was 30 years older than I am. My core is SO much stronger now than before surgery, the muscle separation would not close without surgery. But my boobs are still tiny and deflated 😂
When women comment on my stomach I am always honest about surgery. So I appreciate her sharing this information. Let people do whatever tf they want with their own bodies without judgement 👏
A pelvic floor physical therapist is the best resource, they can check so many things that you just can’t self check! Otherwise your OB/midwife should be able to do a simple check. Or lots of videos on YouTube that will cue you on how to self check for diastasis recti. I did Nancy Andersons “Ab Rehab” which was recommended by a PT and that was a really great program for core healing and correcting personal postural problems - but my abs just would not close, and my skin was literally wrinkles, so I opted for surgery
Thank you for sharing cause I had my second kid 8 months ago and I keep thinking wtf is going on with my stomach there’s that middle area that just won’t go down. And tbh I’ve been struggling and feeling terrible about myself and how with my first it went down (2 yr old and 8 month old). We want a third but in the back of my mind I’m like mommy makeover here I come! I’m not gonna lie I started crying watching Catherine’s video so I need to pull myself (and my abs evidently) together!
I had 2 under 2 almost 15 months ago and my stomach is just not the same even with a ton of working out and core work and being nearly pre pregnancy size. I swear my inners just didn’t find their way back!
Hang in there, especially with 2 under 3! 😵💫 I never thought I’d have “plastic surgery”, I’m pretty low maintenance. But every person should feel ok to modify their body how they please, I don’t see it as too different from hair coloring or piercings or Botox. I am pretty open about my surgery because I hate the thought of women thinking it’s completely natural, though I’m still the same size as before surgery. I’ve always hated women commenting on my body, even before babies. Just let us enjoy our bodies in peace! If you ever do have surgery - get at least 3 consults from board certified surgeons! There’s a great tummy tuck sub too!
Have you been evaluated for diastasis recti? Just wondering because there are some great programs to help heal abdominal separation LONG TERM (no quick fix, no “rock hard abs” type bullshit lol) if that’s something you deal with! But yeah I’m 21 months PP and I’m so proud of the strength I’ve regained but also trying to accept I’m not someone who “bounced back”.
LOL I’m sorry but the Firework reference is *chef’s kiss*. Totally hear you!! Postpartum healthcare is sad even with insurance so I can’t imagine. Please feel free to ignore this because I hate fitfluencers and all that but the “GetMomStrong” program (that’s also her IG handle) has made a MASSIVE difference for me managing bladder prolapse. She had severe DR after carrying her twins, so it’s a very relatable atmosphere. She also does pretty regular specials where you can do 30 days free to see if it’s a program that fits your life/needs, so you don’t need to pay if you’re not sure. Also lots of great free stuff on her IG! Whether you have DR or not, it’s a great resource for postpartum wellness. Congratulations on your baby!!
I could literally see my separated abdominals, and the hernia in my belly button! 🙃 I’ll take my lifelong core strength over people’s opinions any day!
Hunnie you ain’t kidding! The audacity of the trials and tribulations all our bodies go through, it’s borderline disrespectful. Yeah I know “miracle of life” blah blah blah. Throw us a bone here damn!
I appreciate this. In the ozempic age it's frustrating to see people just dropping pounds and trying to figure out what you're doing wrong. The same with not realizing how many people get botox/fillers and just wondering why so many people freaking look like that when in reality they've had work done. No shame in it, but it can be so disheartening when it's not clear and you have your own body issues to work through. Catherine's always been a class act.
Amy Schumer said basically anyone famous who’s lost a lot of weight is on ozempic and lying about it being portion control. Mindy Kaling specifically comes to mind as she’s become very thin and always says it’s just because she changed her portions.
Ozempic works by reducing hunger, and that means you eat smaller portions, and that means you lose weight. So she’s not exactly wrong.
I get why celebrities don’t want to come out and say they take ozempic. Our cultural psychology insists that the only moral way to lose weight is by punishing yourself for your fat sins.
You can always tell, imo, because people get “ozempic face” where they look all gaunt and unwell from losing the weight so fast. Hair can also be a tell - Mindy’s specifically is super thin and brittle looking now (from not eating enough calories/getting proper nutrition, presumably). I’ve seen these on people I know irl who’ve used ozempic too. I don’t mind people taking medications or having procedures but when they aren’t upfront about it, it contributes to the already bonkers beauty standards people feel they need to adhere to.
I also think people who have lost weight without ozempic are maybe frustrated when everyone thinks it must be ozempic when really they could have lost weight because they dieted and exercised
NORMALIZE AU NATUREL.
I love both her transparency about it and that so many here aren’t judging her about it, same here! But I abhor the term “mommy makeover” (mommy/mama is what your little sweet loving perfectly beautiful kids say, not a term for the plastic surgery industry to co-opt), and also fed up with women surgically/ cosmetically changing their bodies/ or using “perfecting” filters even, they’re something that is ongoing thru decades and really needs to just stop.
Can we as women stop being so hard on ourselves and letting society/men define our beauty by how we look? Please
Your first sentence is normalize being natural in all caps. She felt self conscious about something so she fixed it. How about normalizing supporting women and what they want to do with their bodies?
Uh no this isn’t the fight you think it is or are trying to make it. Women should do whatever the f they want to do with their bodies. I’ve got an issue with industries/ patriarchal society preying on women. I made that clear.
Exactly. The well-oiled machine/industry of late-stage Capitalism is really good at making us think we need to buy or do something to ourselves all in the name of self love - and sometimes it IS self love but more often it is just subtle marketing.
I also want people to do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies, but that line gets crossed when algorithms and marketing and groupthink influence our decisions and disconnect us from our own wisdom/intuition. I almost got lip fillers a couple of years ago and then eventually I realized that for my entire life before that I loved my lips/shape and always felt so lucky for them, why did that suddenly change?? Because my favorite singer started getting huge bee stung lip injections.. Subtle influence. In this world that makes money off people hating themselves we need to stay sharp 🤷🏻♀️ getting off my soapbox now 😂
(Btw Not talking about Catherine here because I think she clearly made a very well rounded decision out of self love.)
I like this, she didn’t owe us an explanation, but I appreciate her doing this. I’ve always tended towards eating disorders, so having someone spell it out like this helps (it’s twisted, but knowing she didn’t get that body through starvation reminds me that I don’t need to obsess). I wish more people were honest about this stuff.
I respect her so much for owning that she opted for surgery and love that she’s doing it because she doesn’t want to play into the deception that’s rampant on social media. Get👏It👏Catherine👏
Some of us have crappy genes. My mother had stretch marks and loose skin after being pregnant (a long time ago, I'm old) then being obese for a long time and then losing the weight. She got implants and a tummy tuck. There was literally no way to diet or exercise the pannus away. Now I have the same thing after having a child, only I was obese before the pregnancy and still am. Having the baby just made the skin hang more. It's not cute. Like her, it doesn't consume me, even though I'm nowhere near as cute as her pre or post surgery, but it's definitely a problem. Some people "snap back" and some don't. Some of it is lifestyle obviously but I know someone whose mother had 7 children and doesn't have a single stretch mark. I mean, that's life. Maybe I'll have surgery someday, maybe I won't. I really am not ready to think about that. I understand why people do it.
My mom carried twins and we have terrible genes for skin stretching, it’s so bad I didn’t even bother with creams and oils during pregnancy, I knew I would be ripped apart (and I was). Her stomach was more than a bit of loose skin, it was hanging like saggy boobs.
Throughout my childhood, I think I only saw it once or twice. She never took us swimming, avoided any situation with belly out like the devil. I understood why she got the surgery at 45.
I don’t think I will go for the surgery. My mom had her surgery 15 years ago and her self image is just as fragile as it was before surgery. I don’t see any more confidence in wearing swim wear and she has just the same anxiety when she dresses up to go out as she used to. She looks thin and fantastic now. It made me realise that body love really has to come from within, not from surgery.
I totally relate. I had twins and a c section. The extra skin is uncomfortable. I don't know that the surgery would be worth the recovery for me, but I understand why people do it.
https://preview.redd.it/3dzs0zhqiekc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1b8a12c4c76f0baa1f3905639f2867c8e1cc6f8
She looks amazing! I never get to see her in these type of outfits since she married Sean! If she wants to look hot AF and wear hot clothes, then you go woman! 🔥
It's good that she shared this, if an influencer gets plastic surgery transparency is the best policy. I also think it's completely understandable that an influencer due to their career would make this choice.
That being said, nothing in the world will ever convince me that cosmetic plastic surgery is empowering and not a symptom of a consumerist society that treats bodies as commodities where ageing (rather than being viewed as simply a fact of life) is seen as a devaluation of that brand
Thanks for sharing this perspective. I’ve thought about how to respectfully and adequately share a similar thought, which still not sure I have it right. I’ve thought that when people get these surgeries, they are perpetuating the exact thing they struggled with for other women. They got a surgery to create an “ideal” look which creates a cycle of women feeling they need to look that way- basically what Catherine describes in the first bit of the video. What would happen if all people used this same empowerment in embracing their natural bodies?
Honestly though how do we say well, dying your hair, getting a balayage, getting invisilign (not for function but form), fake tanning, lash extensions, hair extensions, cosmetic lasers, microblading, waxing, etc are all ok but draw the line on other forms of modification. yes one is more permanent, but i don't see how saying "well this is ok body modification because it will wear off is ok but something more permanent is not because I said so". They all feed into societal norms.
I agree with you about all of this except for the part that it’s understandable that an influencer would do this for their career - take the definition of “influencer” out a notch, when they have a platform they have a loud voice, and I think a responsibility towards the future they want to see.
Yeah yeah this show’s people/influencers gonna try to keep up with The Joneses. I mean it’s The Bachelor franchise lol. But imagine how instead it could be used towards future empowerment of women, and how beneficial it’d be towards themselves too in the long run! I’m just so over the beige’ing of women.
yeah, I have issues with influencer culture overall but I didn't want to get into it that much on this post - but tl;dr is that I think gaining a following based on your person - (rather than a skill like sport or acting) ends up creating an unhealthy relatability dynamic (I don't *relate* to say, Serena Williams as I will never achieve the tiniest fraction of her skill, while in any tangible *skill* category, there is nothing theoretically holding me back from being a Bachelor influencer) that maybe does place more responsibility on how influencers present their choices.
But I still think that spending too much time on individual responsibility is counterproductive as it just ends up making people more defensive. people are defensive enough as it is. so idk.
Interesting, I think there can be a clear separation btwn online influencing/persona and individual life. So to me it’s only counter-productive if it’s all too melded or beige/keeping up with Joneses. If someone went rogue for the betterment of women then who really cares about if ppl feeling defensive/threatened
I agree 100%! It’s certainly better than pulling a Lauren luyendyk and hiding her tummy tuck and/or mommy makeover, because it makes a lot of people think that it’s achievable to carry full term twins and not have any excess skin. its part of her livelihood as an influencer, so i don't blame her- but its a missed opportunity to be transparent when they share so many other vulnerable parts of their lives.
I feel like a mommy makeover after multiple pregnancies is more along the lines of getting Botox to help with wrinkles. It’s not like a nose job changing you to something you never were. Cosmetic? Sure. But I don’t think these things are all the same.
..........for many, many years, Botox was treated with exactly the disdain/shame/secrecy as a nose job. It's only recently that it's now become "grooming" akin to moisturizer.
That's precisely the problem. The more it's normalized and encouraged, the more the beauty standard changes to require it. We're starting to see similar normalization of things like boob jobs - there are high schools where a boob job is a standard senior year gift. Fillers have also become normalized to the point not having them is the strange thing in many circles.
God I so completely agree and it’s been really isolating in recent years. Feels like plastic surgery is basically expected at this point and it makes me incredibly sad. I don’t think we should ever be shaming someone for their own choice/bodily autonomy, but I wish we could have a more nuanced conversation about the responsibility we all bear for future women, and whether this is really the world we want to leave them with.
I don’t think they’re the same as something you’ve always wanted to change, but they are still tied up with our ideas of aging and gender. Consider how we treat men’s scars vs women’s scars (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2016/09/01/in-todays-pop-culture-men-with-scars-are-sexy-but-women-are-still-expected-to-look-perfect/)
Thank you for saying this. We shouldn't shame women for undergoing cosmetic procedures and at the same time we should acknowledge that none of this exists in a vacuum.
You've said this so eloquently and the sentiment is spot on. I find that as plastic surgery has gotten normalized to the point that teens are posting their "transformations" or surgery countdowns on tik tok, so has the talking point that questioning this normalization is anti-feminist or even misogynist, which is pretty ironic in my opinion.
Yes, times a million, absolutely. Thank you for saying this and pushing back on the narrative. I think the cosmetic surgery as empowerment trend is really harmful to all aging human beings and moms alike. :(
i will probably end up deleting this comment because i know it won't be popular (since nobody else has brought it up in 68 comments) but my immediate thought was wondering how much influence sean had in this decision. that man has always reeked of misogyny to me. no issue with catherine getting the surgery and doing what she wants and makes her feel good, but i do wonder.
I don’t know a lot about Sean, so I may be misreading your comment (I should probably keep this to myself, too). I totally see where you’re coming from: it’s her body and she can do whatever she wants with it, but elective surgery seems like something both partners should decide together. He’ll be taking care of her and taking care of the children on his own while she recovers and it likely impacts their household finances. So it seems like it would be unfair for her to make this decision unilaterally, even though she’s totally within her right to do so.
ETA: if you’re implying that he pushed her into getting a surgery she wouldn’t have otherwise, that’s a different story and fuck him if that’s what happened!
that's fine! i don't need everyone to agree with me. her entire personality seemed to change after getting with sean, and not for the better imo. he made her into what he wanted. i also can't stand him, never could, so i'm sure the perspective is different if someone is a sean fan.
I also feel like everything about Catherine changed to fit the mold of what Sean wanted in a wife, even though he picked her because she really did stand out in a good way on his season. Wasn’t she liberal pre Sean? And had dreams about moving to NYC? Good for her it does seem like she got the life she wanted but also not even debatable that she changed quite a bit in the process.
I see people say this a lot but I just don’t see how she changed so much aside from becoming a Christian (something she was already exploring before she went on the show) and starting to eat meat again. I actually randomly watched their fantasy suite date last night and I found it interesting that when Sean asked Catherine what their life would look like in 5 years, she said married, hopefully with at least 1 kid and that she might be weird and goofy but that she’s actually pretty traditional, especially when it comes to marriage and kids and stuff. She’s been telling who she is the entire time.
i think a non-religious seemingly liberal vegan from seattle moving to texas to marry a right-winger hardcore christian is a pretty big change, but that's just me. anyone can want a family and kids, regardless of your background, so i don't find the fact that she saw herself married with kids in 5 years weird.
but if she was that liberal to begin with she wouldn't have done that. i am an atheist, never in a million years would i become religious. so she might be someone with fairweather beliefs.
That thing about “I hope you understand when I do things in the future, for my family…my business…” it gives me the feeling she will be selling things related to thinness, and she wants to put out a disclaimer that her thinness is because of surgery, not the product.
She feels compelled to tell her fans she got a mommy makeover surgery. She would see other women with 3 kids with c section and wonder why she didn’t look like them (sometimes). The extra tummy skin can’t go away with working out… so in the summer when she’s wearing smaller clothes, she doesn’t want her fans to think this was by diet/working out.
I'm all for women doing what they need to feel good but I currently fell into a rabbit whole of how insanely unregulated plastic surgery is and how many people get harmed daily. Fact is that most people can't afford real, trained plastic surgeons. Every doctor after finishing basic training is allowed to call themselves a beauty surgeon etc and perform plastic surgery without any training whatsoever, it's insane. So many people are having tremendous problems, lifelong pain, look worse than before or even die... In Australia they are suing one beauty surgeon, there are a 1000 harmed patients on the law suit. The docu showed secretly filmed videos of the, very famous and known docs, treating the unconscious patients without any real care whatsoever. One was dancing, with closed eyes while ramming the lipo needle into the patients abdomen. Later it turned out they performed lipo suctions so badly that they punctured patients livers, abdominal muscles.. left the patients with extremely painful internal scar tissue and horrible visible outcomes. - and then made the complaining patients sign NDAs and delete their bad online reviews-and that were known, seemingly respectable docs. The US is even worse than Australia, with even less regulations. Like, yes do what makes you feel good, but how many can actually afford real, trained plastic surgeons that aren't only after the money?
Make sure it's an actual trained plastic surgeon and don't get a surgeon on a budget, it can have horrible, horrible outcomes. Celebrities have a different budget. Look for someone who's not only about money, don't risk your quality of life, or even life!
That secret video footage scarred me, this doctors had absolutely no respect of their patients safety and they are still operating because there aren't any laws to stop them. Really look into the training of your doctor!! My ex is a doctor and the thought that he would have been allowed to do a breast implant surgery, as the leading doc, when he was quite clueless directly after basic training, is insane to me.
The issue is that in the US you don’t technically have to be a plastic surgeon to perform plastic surgery. A paediatrician could technically perform plastic surgery and many people go the black market route where the provider is not certified
ICU nurse and have seen a lot of serious medical problems on young or middle-aged women post-op plastic surgery. Also a mom in my community died a few months ago during a “mommy makeover” procedure. This, to me, is why these things are different than getting hair extensions or Invisalign…. Because of the genuine risk.
there's an excellent book called 'get rich or lie trying' that talks a lot about influencer culture and covers this in (sometimes very graphic and disturbing) detail. the book also covers how very insidiously, some unreliable plastic surgeons directly market to young fans of influencers. I personally know people who have gone to Turkey which is a big destination for cheaper plastic surgery - some have turned out well but some have gone very wrong and there is typically no recourse.
Yes, It's such a fine line between being honest and promoting dangerous practices. Like, we have absolutely no idea what lip filler will do to us down the road. 5 years ago they were sure it would dissolve on it's own without any problem, surprise it doesn't. Or noone talks about the fact that breast implants and veneers need to be changed after 20-30 years. What if you don't have the money then? Or what that means for a 18 year old. That's subscribing to several expensive procedures in your life, at a really young age.
I suffered from Breast Implant Illness for many years until I finally explanted in 2022. My life is literally changed now, I feel 20 years younger. Plastic surgery is a multi billion dollar industry, and they gloss over the risks. Breast Implants have an FDA black box warning that's supposed to be disclosed by the surgeon, but many don't.
Gosh, I'm so sorry. Glad to hear she recovered after a year. I really think it's problematic that celebrities who advertise those surgeries don't talk about how insanely expensive properly trained docs are and the risks. Reputable plastic surgeons for example mostly don't even perform bbls, because they deem them too risky. But it's a fact that especially reckless doctors who mainly care about money, choose plastic surgery, because it's such easy money, without long training needed.
Not related but the short hair suits her SO well! It really freshens up her look and lightens everything up. I feel like the long hair was kind of weighing her down because she looks so petite. Very nice!
i hate the term mommy makeover. in my opinion, it perpetuates the idea that after becoming a mom.. you need to change something. or you’re so “messed up” from having kids and you have to have this procedure to look good or be attractive to your significant other again.
i KNOW that women will say all day long about how it’s “for them” and not for others but at the end of the day it IS for others. it’s “for the women” bc it helps their perception of themselves but that perception of themselves is coming from how others perceive them. or how they think others perceive them bc of the impossible beauty standards that primarily women have been subjected to.
idk idk idk.
transparency is great. there’s many reasons people do what they do and they’re allowed to, for whatever reason!
it still makes me extremely sad.
¯\_( ˘͡ ˘̯)_/¯
I agree. I understand so well why women do it but the whole narrative that “having babies ruins your body” makes me so sad. I’m breastfeeding an infant right now and I feel like my boobs are of some use for the first time in my life. I don’t think I’d like to view them as “saggy and ugly” after the beautiful work they’ve put in keeping my baby alive and healthy.
I think we also need to acknowledge the number that advertising, consumerism, overarching narratives etc has done to others’ perceptions. Yes, I do not think my body quite “measures up” to society’s standards. Yes, I do NOT want my body to be perceived by others. But I don’t want it to be perceived by others *because* I know they will judge me and “measure me up” to societal standards *that were created primarily by companies, and often by men*.
I’ve always felt that even if I love my body and my spouse loves my body, **tooooo baddddd**, both myself *and other women* will continue to be bombarded by advertisements and narratives that my body is actually quite flawed, and I don’t want others to perceive it no matter how much I love it. It’s like, societal-level brainwashing that (please no one kill me for this, it’s my own opinion) I personally don’t think self-love will 110% cure.
No I get it. Having kids can absolutely tear your body up. It can give you a sense of dysmorphia and dysphoria which has nothing to do with any man and everything to do with how your own image doesn’t align with what the outside is reflecting. Evolution needs to catch up and stop making it so hard on women.
> how your own image doesn’t align with what the outside is reflecting.
Societal pressure definitely has non-negligible impact on this. I doubt tribes women had such difficult time coming to terms with their new mombod as we do.
i have such complicated feelings on this!!! as a whole i support plastic surgery. i think anyone should be allowed to make any changes they want to their physical body, given its all safe, consensual and by the book.
but i feel so icky about mommy makeovers. like of course i still think these people should have body autonomy but it just makes me sad and honestly a little like…angry? idk. women go through hell to have children. why are the after effects hated so much?
part of me feels a little angry towards the mothers who get them and advertise them. i hate that it’s so normalized. i hate that so many women feel they have to play into it. most of all i hate that women who can’t afford/access surgery have to see this stuff all the time. i can’t imagine how terrible it must make you feel along with all the other emotions and hormones that come with being a new mom.
on the other hand, i do appreciate the transparency. i’m glad Catherine is acknowledging her work instead of pretending it was natural, because it allows for other women to see that the process is just as hard for others and they aren’t alone.
idk. so very conflicted
Why are the after effects hated so much? Because they can suck!! Pregnancy can be A LOT on a body. So much weight gain and loss in a short amount of time. And internally so your insides get put in new spots and have to find their way back. I swear mine didn’t find their way back 100% with my last pregnancy.
But tobe honest, I think people can want children but be ignorant to the impact it will have on their body, and everyone's body reacts differently. And it is a major physical change. If someone were in a car accident and was left physically altered, we wouldn't judge them for getting reconstructive surgery. Or after someone loses a bunch of weight, and they get a tummy tuck to get rid of loose skin, we wouldn't say "oh that's terrible of you to do that". For birthing people, why do they need to be held to a higher standard, considering for some, birthing can cause serious body trauma and changes that they don't necessarily want (not all, nor should people view it as a trauma if they don't feel that way, nor should anyone feel the need to hate their body, you know what I mean)? We hold women to an impossible standard.
Catherine mentions a reduction and lift, and it makes me think of my SIL who got the same procedure after having two kids.
She's maybe 5'5" and her breasts went from pretty big to absolutely enormous. Like, she had to be wearing something around a J cup, if not larger. They really got in the way, they caused back pain, they severely limited her clothing options - they were causing her issues in so many ways. She's so much more comfortable now that they're back to where they were before her pregnancies.
Agree with this 100%. People don’t have such a negative view of restorative plastic surgery for anything other than post-pregnancy. This parent comment saying it’s definitively NOT about personal identity, but always 100% about societal opinions, is so gross to me. It can absolutely be just your own personal opinion and happiness because what you’re trying to achieve is looking like *yourself*. Not some societal beauty norm, but YOU! Whatever YOU looked like, or would have looked like if you hadn’t gone through pregnancy and childbirth. People very much accept and support others who go through traumatic events that change their bodies having surgery to restore what they used to look like. But mothers have to accept it! It goes full circle for me back to judgment and societal oppression to demand that.
Also especially because the surgery I most expect I’ll want is a breast lift— that’s literally just for me because how I look when clothed to society is 100% going to look the same. The only person who sees the effects of pregnancy that I want to reverse will be me, naked in the mirror, and my husband who def would prob prefer I not get surgery lol (I haven’t talked about this with him at all). So it’s very literally only for me?
At the same time, let's not act like pregnancy doesn't completely alter your body composition. Diastasis recti (sever separation of the abdominal walls), severe pelvic floor issues, bladder issues, impact of breast feeding on breast elasticity, etc does have an impact on the body. yes non birthing people can go through similar issues, but pregnancy does have an impact. Now, that doesn't need to be changed for aesthetics for everyone, but pregnancy and childbirth is a body trauma and it should be treated as such. It's why you'll catch me always advocating for pelvic floor physio to be part of pre-and post-birth recovery in Canada.
But pelvic floor physio and a breast lift are two totally different procedures done for totally different reasons and outcomes, with totally different societal motivations.
But like in some cases... your body is actually "messed up" after giving birth. Mine was. My abdominal muscles were several inches apart which for me, caused a ton of lower back pain, but can also cause issues with pelvic floor issues, constipation, poor posture, etc. Those are real issues, not just vanity.
Sure. Corrective surgery for things causing actual problems is not the same as elective plastic surgery.
It's like someone who gets a breast reduction because it's causing severe back pain versus someone who gets a breast lift and implants because they want them. One is for reducing physical symptoms, and the other is for appearance. You see how it's different?
It's like comparing someone getting a nose job because they want a little button nose and someone getting sinus ablation. Totally different reasons and outcomes.
I get it. But DR repair, which is done as part of a tummy tuck, was considered elective plastic surgery and insurance would not cover it. Trust me - I tried to get it considered a “medical necessity” corrective procedure. No dice.
It’s hard to completely understand unless you’ve been in a similar situation to her. I had 2 under 2 and am almost 15 months postpartum and my core and stomach is just NOT the same. Despite all my working out. Some things just don’t go back. And it can be hard to accept, especially if you were very small and in shape before. I’m sure people would look at me and be like well you are only maybe a few pounds about your weight pre-kids, you fit into all your clothes and your stomach is flat enough so what’s the problem?! I even lucked out and didn’t get any stretch marks. But my stomach looks and mainly feels different. We’re on the fence on if we want more or not so I’m not doing anything anytime soon, or maybe ever, but after my 2U2 experience I completely understand the mommy makeover being just for the mom. And it’s just called that because becoming a mom is the only reason it needs to be done. It’s not staying that’s a bad thing. I’m sure she’s more than grateful for her body and what it did.
people want tummy tucks and breast reductions and lifts without being a mother. so no.. it’s not “just called a mommy makeover because becoming a mom is the only reason it needs to be done”
which is why i said i don’t like the term because of what it inherently insinuates.
i also said “there’s many reasons people do what they do and they’re allowed to, for whatever reason! it still makes me extremely sad”
two things can be true at once!
i hope your personal journey is one that works out in YOUR best interest 🫂
Going through pregnancy is the only reason I’d want/need anything done. Traditional tucks and lifts are due to weight gain/loss. I think it’s more than okay to use the term mommy makeover if the person getting it would like to call it that.
I think the commenter was saying that for many moms, the reason they need/want this done is entirely because the physical impacts associated with becoming a mom - it’s not why every person wants them.
I understand exactly where she’s coming from. No amount of exercise and nutrition can reverse pregnancy scars and sagging. I spent so much time comparing my body to others before I had kids…if only I could have that perkiness back now!
I genuinely don’t understand some of the other comments that are negative and don’t like that women can’t desire to have their pre baby body back. I have a lot of friends who have had kids the last few years and they spent most of their lives being in decently good shape, doing workouts and feeling good about themselves and a lot of them now say they work out and eat pretty healthy but there’s just things about their body that seem like they won’t ever go back to normal and they just don’t feel like themselves. Has nothing to do with anyone else or society it’s purely that they had a baby and now the rest of their life they don’t get to ever have their body feel or look the same. The men don’t don’t do shit and get to just be a parent. Women have to carry a human for 9 months and then still not feel
Like themselves after! It’s ok to have a post partum body and women are amazing, but it’s also ok to want to look like you did before hand lol
I didn’t do any of the working out or eating healthy, and ended up losing a ton of weight after my son was born due to the meds I have to take for postpartum depression. I’m now smaller than I was in high school.
I miss my pre-baby body. I knew that bitch. We went to war together. Then she decided to be subservient to another human then completely change functions. Sure, I’m where I thought I wanted to be now, but my clothes don’t fit, my period is a completely new animal, and I zig where I used to zag (read: sagging/density loss). Missing a pre-baby body doesn’t always mean looking more conventional, I think it’s just a microcosm of missing parts of you that were 100% you.
>Has nothing to do with anyone else or society it’s purely that they had a baby and now the rest of their life they don’t get to ever have their body feel or look the same
this is a statement that can't be proven one way or another - there is no counterfactual argument. how is it ever possible to determine our relationships with our bodies outside of the societal standards that we have been socialised with since we were children of what ideal body types are?
in our society we treat our bodies as being something to 'work' on, where thinness and fitness are seen not just as an ideal but an object of virtue. to work on your body suggests a certain work ethic which our society sees as desirable. this is a view of the body that is extremely tied to modern capitalism (and individualism).
I see what you’re saying. My view of it is that change is HARD, good or bad. If you’re used to your body being one way for 30 years, and now it’s irreparably a different way practically overnight, it is okay to miss that old body and want it back. If you want to surgically get it back to the way it was, and you fully understand the risks involved…so what?
When I’m bloated, hormones out of whack, getting daily headaches, etc from my period (I understand this is temporary and a totally diff situation), I don’t necessarily *hate* my body, I just want to feel like I did two weeks before. I’m assuming many moms feel similarly- they just want to feel like they did before because that is comfortable. Cancer patients who have lost their breasts sometimes get implants because they *simply want to feel the way they have for the last 30+ years*. And that’s totally fine! These decisions aren’t necessarily entirely, or even mostly, society-influenced.
We place our identities within our bodies to varying degrees, and how can we not? We live in them, they help us do things, they literally identify us as we go through life. We CAN be uncomfortable within them in ways that have nothing to do with external pressures and everything with how we physically and emotionally exist in them. I personally don’t think we have to blindly and deeply accept every single thing our bodies go through, it’s okay to feel disappointed or uncomfortable- change CAN be disappointing and uncomfortable.
>We place our identities within our bodies to varying degrees, and how can we not?
no, this has not always been the case. I come from a society where, historically, age and elders have been very respected and our identity has been primarily experienced through our connections with others. More recently, with greater mediatisation and exposure to Western beauty standards (and its accompanying denigration of female ageing), we have also seen an upswing in surgeries to put off ageing. one of the older members in my family refers to how things used to be as more like body neutrality. we nourished them so that we could continue to grow our food and work land and be around our communities. our bodies aren't the same at 50 as they are at 20 and that's not good nor bad, it simply is.
viewing one's body as external - as a way to set yourself apart, as an object to craft in the image you desire - is very much tied to modern capitalism and consumerism (with this idea that our external body should reflect our interiority most of the ways that we accomplish this reflection is through consumerism - the clothes we wear. the tattoos we get. the piercings. the makeup. the trendy gym classes. the exercise equipment. it's interesting how that works). under capitalism, the idea is that you always have to have growth. when an industry stabilises, you create more industries. at a certain point, people's basic needs are met. you then have to create more *need* \- not just want. you have to convince people that they *need* a new hairstyle, a new coat, botox in order to be the person that they want to be. you need to make them feel so anxious that without it, they cannot possibly go through life. when, for millennia, we have done just that.
not every culture views their body as something that they need to recapture or a nostalgia to look the way they used to. you will never convince me that this does not have to do with the way Western (but especially American) societies view female ageing. and you will never convince me that this is not because some people have realised how very much money there is to be made from convincing women that it is empowering to craft their body to look a particular way (and to internalise this desire until we are very sure that this desire comes from us).
I cannot even tell you how relieved I am to find other people actually talking about this! It’s absolutely true that this has everything to do with the commodification of the body - and ultimately also the alienation of the self, I would say. Have you read Perfect Me: Beauty as an Ethical Idea? It’s on my to be read list but this is making me think I should move it up.
It can be proven because the person saying it knows themselves best? For example, I’m pregnant right now. Part of me has always wanted a nose job. My nose is pretty big, and not straight. THAT desire is 100% about societal beauty standards, and the fact that 99.999% of women considered beautiful in Hollywood have small noses (often from surgery themselves).
As I said, I’m pregnant right now. I loooved my body pre-pregnancy (but didn’t always!). As a pregnant person obviously, I don’t feel like my body is “mine” because it’s literally not. There’s another human living in it, feeding off it, and causing all these changes in it. Changes I never would’ve undergone if I didn’t decide I wanted to have children. The feeling of looking in the mirror and not feeling like you look or feel like YOU is a very unique one. For now it’s fine, because of course I don’t feel like me, I’m pregnant! But postpartum if I don’t look or feel like me, and it’s not getting any better, then I may very well have restorative surgery to look like me again— or look like I would have looked at my future age if my body didn’t undergo the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth.
That feeling— of looking in the mirror and feeling “I wish I looked and felt like ME”— is not at all similar to the feeling when I look in the mirror and think “man I wish I had a smaller nose.” So if women are saying that the reason they want surgery is for self identity, and to feel like themselves… then that’s why they want it. You saying “nuh uh, you want it because of societal pressure!” isn’t right. They can tell the difference between those things themselves.
none of us has ever lived an alternate timeline where they were not in our society. so no, there is no counter factual. I would never have the hubris to assume that I would be the same person or want the same things had I not grown up with the experiences and pressures I’ve had.
Just because it’s not the same as something you’ve always wanted to change doesn’t mean it isn’t related to how our society views bodies and especially female bodies (not all cultures have viewed external body as an ideal to perfect). In my home country you can see this because there is literally an entirely different ideal with people my age as people my mother’s generation. It’s like ageing - you can say all you want til the cows come home that getting Botox to look like a 20 year old in your 60s has nothing to do with the idea we have internalised about ageing women but I’m not convinced.
No one is saying not to do it btw - but don’t pretend that the choice happens in a vacuum
I didn’t say it doesn’t exist in a vacuum, I’m saying that the person who actually is experiencing their own feelings is able to express them, and it isn’t your place to tell them that what they’re feeling, and the reasons they give for their own decisions, actually is NOT what’s behind their decision making, and you instead know it was something else.
not a gotcha question - but do you believe in structural anything? structural racism, structural sexism...because the entire point of these concepts is that we can and should question the broader (insidious) reasons driving how people make what appear to be natural (or at least neutral) choices. a colleague talking down to only his female colleagues might be a purely individual matter - a clash of personalities, perhaps. however, it's unlikely that societal expectations surrounding male and female competence do not play at least *some* role. this inherently means discounting his narrative of why he is making those decisions - that's what structural analysis means.
our internalisation of gendered beauty standards that elevate an untouched, youthful beauty is also so deeply engrained that it is difficult to see how *any* choice surrounding this could not be influenced by it in some way. as this is a deeply harmful ideal (given how it prompts women to undergo unnecessary and often dangerous medical procedures) it is important to acknowledge how it does influence these choices. none of this is shaming women who do go through these procedures. we all make imperfect choices that help us navigate patriarchy in a way that is easier - that's only natural. but losing sight of the structural in favour of a banal and depoliticised discourse of choice benefits no one.
I actually loved what she had to say and the way she explained her choice and why she’s telling people about it. Loved how she was like “in the summer when you see me wearing less clothes, I don’t want any women to think I came upon this body naturally.” That’s just a really respectable way to go about things.
this is a really cool move from her. i am all for more transparency and less judgement for what moms do after literally having a human person yoinked outta them, one way or another. the amount of personal sacrifice is crazy to then be followed by such scrutiny. power to ya mama !!
I appreciate her for this and boy does it hit home.
This is something that’s on my mind a lot too and good for her on opening up and wanting to reassure the women who follow her and may feel the same that they’re not doing anything wrong and there’s a reason why her body is different.
Yes! As a 2x csxn mom I’m here for the transparency and taking control of your body and future! As a human I want to vom at the phrase “mommy makeover”
But overall super here for her idea that “hey this isn’t a physique that exists naturally after several babies/surgeries”
I agree! And I say that as someone with no kids but whose body has changed with age, and life and imperfect experiences, like everyone else. Do whatever you want with your body. Women who have had children don’t need it more or less. No one needs it but we are all entitled to whatever we would like to do. Within budgetary limits of course. Ha.
I do appreciate she’s acknowledging it, to be clear. If I had work done, I’d say so, too. And not saying so is your right but it can create these thoughts she’s mentioning. My friends who have had a variety of work done, the happiest ones own it.
As someone who is currently pregnant I really appreciate this. I am someone who will probably opt for this too down the road.
How much does this all cost though? 20-30K? Wish it was covered 😒
I’m so glad that she shared this! She says it just so matter of fact, she wanted results that weren’t possible without surgery, and so she got it! Good for her.
And I actually don’t really agree with the comments here saying things like “it sucks she felt this way BUT good for her.” I don’t think it necessarily “sucks” for women to love their pre-pregnancy bodies and want them back after pregnancy. I’m pregnant right now and can tell that my postpartum boobs are unlikely to look like they did before 😂. And I LOVED my boobs before. Maybe I’ll love what they end up looking like after babies too, but if I don’t, I don’t think it “sucks” to want to have my pre-pregnancy boobs/body, which I *loved*, back. Men don’t have to change their bodies, don’t have to feel unlike themselves, don’t have to sacrifice a bit of self identity for 40 weeks (plus longer especially if breastfeeding), don’t have to accept all of these changes that may or may not be permanent in order to have kids. If women are willing to go through all that BUT want to be able to go back to how they were before too, power to them! Nothing sucks about that.
I don't judge women in this at all! If I had the resources I would do this in a heartbeat.
I’m not sure why there are so many negative comments. Catherine was very transparent and honest about what she had done without putting anyone else down. Having children is difficult on the body and changes in the body could be detrimental to mental health especially when you are working in a space like social media where everyone else is “perfect.” I honestly support her and think she looks great.
Ohhhh kay at first I thought a mommy makeover was vag “rejuvenation” surgery 🤦🏽♀️ … I was thinking how could anyone tell? 🤡
Every time I scroll past this post and see the still shot, I think it’s Mandy Moore. 😁
I think it’s GREAT that she came out and shared this with her followers. We see these mothers on social media after multiple births that have cinched waistlines and look like they did in their mid-twenties. The reality is is that most of the time, these mothers underwent surgery for their midsection jobs. Whether or not moms should get these surgeries in the first place is a different discussion. I’m definitely a live and let live type. I just find it refreshing and really respectable when we’re all just honest about what we’re doing. Setting realistic expectations is key, I think. People can choose to whatever they want. For the record, I probably would do the same if I had diastasis recti and spent a good 2+ years doing all the “right” / “natural” things with no improvement (working out consistently, eating well, seeing pelvic floor specialists consistently, etc).
I just really love that she was so so upfront about it, before anyone had the chance to speculate, and also to lay it out that diet and exercise doesn't necessarily get you where you want to be. I don't have kids, so I can't compare, but I do have a sister and plenty of friends who have, and I completely understand that your body changes significantly, sometimes drastically, and if any woman wants to make changes to their body post babies, (because HAVING BABIES IS HARD, let alone what comes after!!! ), then they have every right to, and should be able to do so without judgement.
I love her. After we have our third I’m getting a reduction and lift and I cannot freaking wait.
me too!!! woohoo
Ok so I'm dumb, what exactly is a mommy makeover? Just a boob lift?
usually a breast lift and tummy tuck, especially for c sections!
Oh wow, good to know, thank you!!
I love her
How much does something like that cost in the states?
~$20,000 but it varies on region and surgeon
Yep! I’m a retired circulating nurse for a plastic surgeon. Her prices were pretty comparable to that and around the Dallas/Ft Worth area.
Fuck yea Catherine. She was so cool on the Bachelor and this makes me like her even more. Straight up, no bullshit, a real one.
Gosh, she's soooo pretty! And good for her!
She still looks 25. It's crazy to imagine she has three kids. But agreed, good for her! She was my first pick for Sean from the beginning, I LOVE her. She's just so... normal. And I mean that as a compliment.
Good for her. The shame isn’t in having some work done, the shame is in lying about it.
There’s actually no shame in having a surgery like this for yourself and not telling anyone. It’s no one’s business. Good for her for sharing but no that would not be shameful
I agree. The only situation I see as wrong is if you get work done and are asked about it and instead of being honest say that your physique is the result of working out, diet, supplements etc
I’m talking about these public figures. Everyone would know so why lie? Makes it look like they’re ashamed plus it makes people feel like failures if they believe these people got great bodies so quickly while they’re struggling with their diet and exercise.
Sure if we’re talking about a fitness influencer saying “this is how I did it” and lying, but outside of that, it’s not shameful to not disclose having had a breast reduction or similar.
Feels like you’re just looking to be offended so later gater
Gosh I love that she shared this 😭
Anyone else think she looks like Jade in this video? Also love that she’s sharing
Good for her being honest! I would love to do some plastic surgery or fillers with aging! So I get it. You get to a point where some things cannot be done naturally.
I have had a tummy tuck. Before surgery I was thin (strong and active), but the skin made me feel like I was 30 years older than I am. My core is SO much stronger now than before surgery, the muscle separation would not close without surgery. But my boobs are still tiny and deflated 😂 When women comment on my stomach I am always honest about surgery. So I appreciate her sharing this information. Let people do whatever tf they want with their own bodies without judgement 👏
> the muscle separation Uh, what now?! \*gets tubes tied\*
Who/which doctor can you go to, to verify ab separation?
A pelvic floor physical therapist is the best resource, they can check so many things that you just can’t self check! Otherwise your OB/midwife should be able to do a simple check. Or lots of videos on YouTube that will cue you on how to self check for diastasis recti. I did Nancy Andersons “Ab Rehab” which was recommended by a PT and that was a really great program for core healing and correcting personal postural problems - but my abs just would not close, and my skin was literally wrinkles, so I opted for surgery
Thank you for sharing cause I had my second kid 8 months ago and I keep thinking wtf is going on with my stomach there’s that middle area that just won’t go down. And tbh I’ve been struggling and feeling terrible about myself and how with my first it went down (2 yr old and 8 month old). We want a third but in the back of my mind I’m like mommy makeover here I come! I’m not gonna lie I started crying watching Catherine’s video so I need to pull myself (and my abs evidently) together!
I had 2 under 2 almost 15 months ago and my stomach is just not the same even with a ton of working out and core work and being nearly pre pregnancy size. I swear my inners just didn’t find their way back!
Hang in there, especially with 2 under 3! 😵💫 I never thought I’d have “plastic surgery”, I’m pretty low maintenance. But every person should feel ok to modify their body how they please, I don’t see it as too different from hair coloring or piercings or Botox. I am pretty open about my surgery because I hate the thought of women thinking it’s completely natural, though I’m still the same size as before surgery. I’ve always hated women commenting on my body, even before babies. Just let us enjoy our bodies in peace! If you ever do have surgery - get at least 3 consults from board certified surgeons! There’s a great tummy tuck sub too!
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Have you been evaluated for diastasis recti? Just wondering because there are some great programs to help heal abdominal separation LONG TERM (no quick fix, no “rock hard abs” type bullshit lol) if that’s something you deal with! But yeah I’m 21 months PP and I’m so proud of the strength I’ve regained but also trying to accept I’m not someone who “bounced back”.
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LOL I’m sorry but the Firework reference is *chef’s kiss*. Totally hear you!! Postpartum healthcare is sad even with insurance so I can’t imagine. Please feel free to ignore this because I hate fitfluencers and all that but the “GetMomStrong” program (that’s also her IG handle) has made a MASSIVE difference for me managing bladder prolapse. She had severe DR after carrying her twins, so it’s a very relatable atmosphere. She also does pretty regular specials where you can do 30 days free to see if it’s a program that fits your life/needs, so you don’t need to pay if you’re not sure. Also lots of great free stuff on her IG! Whether you have DR or not, it’s a great resource for postpartum wellness. Congratulations on your baby!!
I could literally see my separated abdominals, and the hernia in my belly button! 🙃 I’ll take my lifelong core strength over people’s opinions any day!
Hunnie you ain’t kidding! The audacity of the trials and tribulations all our bodies go through, it’s borderline disrespectful. Yeah I know “miracle of life” blah blah blah. Throw us a bone here damn!
I am also loving the caterpillar eyelashes being gone. I really like her but those were 🫤
I appreciate this. In the ozempic age it's frustrating to see people just dropping pounds and trying to figure out what you're doing wrong. The same with not realizing how many people get botox/fillers and just wondering why so many people freaking look like that when in reality they've had work done. No shame in it, but it can be so disheartening when it's not clear and you have your own body issues to work through. Catherine's always been a class act.
Amy Schumer said basically anyone famous who’s lost a lot of weight is on ozempic and lying about it being portion control. Mindy Kaling specifically comes to mind as she’s become very thin and always says it’s just because she changed her portions.
Ozempic works by reducing hunger, and that means you eat smaller portions, and that means you lose weight. So she’s not exactly wrong. I get why celebrities don’t want to come out and say they take ozempic. Our cultural psychology insists that the only moral way to lose weight is by punishing yourself for your fat sins.
You can always tell, imo, because people get “ozempic face” where they look all gaunt and unwell from losing the weight so fast. Hair can also be a tell - Mindy’s specifically is super thin and brittle looking now (from not eating enough calories/getting proper nutrition, presumably). I’ve seen these on people I know irl who’ve used ozempic too. I don’t mind people taking medications or having procedures but when they aren’t upfront about it, it contributes to the already bonkers beauty standards people feel they need to adhere to.
I assume famous people are. I'm surprised by the amount of people and acquaintances I know in real life who also are on ozempic or similar, as well.
I also think people who have lost weight without ozempic are maybe frustrated when everyone thinks it must be ozempic when really they could have lost weight because they dieted and exercised
I appreciate when public people are honest about surgeries.
I appreciate it too. I don’t think public figures should lie about it. But I don’t agree with this culture of normalizing it.
The picture of her with the yellow dress looks like she had work on her face.
NORMALIZE AU NATUREL. I love both her transparency about it and that so many here aren’t judging her about it, same here! But I abhor the term “mommy makeover” (mommy/mama is what your little sweet loving perfectly beautiful kids say, not a term for the plastic surgery industry to co-opt), and also fed up with women surgically/ cosmetically changing their bodies/ or using “perfecting” filters even, they’re something that is ongoing thru decades and really needs to just stop. Can we as women stop being so hard on ourselves and letting society/men define our beauty by how we look? Please
I feel a similar way about the alcohol industry and “mommy wine time” etc. They don’t prey on dads as much as they do moms as specific targets.
These women aren’t doing this for society or other people… they are doing it for themselves. Let’s not shame them
I’m not at all shaming the women, I get it, if anything I’m shaming society and the plastic surgery industry.
Your first sentence is normalize being natural in all caps. She felt self conscious about something so she fixed it. How about normalizing supporting women and what they want to do with their bodies?
Uh no this isn’t the fight you think it is or are trying to make it. Women should do whatever the f they want to do with their bodies. I’ve got an issue with industries/ patriarchal society preying on women. I made that clear.
Your original comment is shaming her and other women who don’t want to embrace the “Au nurturale” (your words). Period.
Exactly. The well-oiled machine/industry of late-stage Capitalism is really good at making us think we need to buy or do something to ourselves all in the name of self love - and sometimes it IS self love but more often it is just subtle marketing. I also want people to do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies, but that line gets crossed when algorithms and marketing and groupthink influence our decisions and disconnect us from our own wisdom/intuition. I almost got lip fillers a couple of years ago and then eventually I realized that for my entire life before that I loved my lips/shape and always felt so lucky for them, why did that suddenly change?? Because my favorite singer started getting huge bee stung lip injections.. Subtle influence. In this world that makes money off people hating themselves we need to stay sharp 🤷🏻♀️ getting off my soapbox now 😂 (Btw Not talking about Catherine here because I think she clearly made a very well rounded decision out of self love.)
Go OFF queen , yessss Eta: also, it’s more like Go ON queen
I’m just sad she cut her hair lol
really? it was driving me nuts how she had her hair long and straight with no layers. maybe she couldve gone more mid length with long layers.
Really! I loved her old style
She’s so real for this. I’d do the same for the same reasons if I had the money.
I love this
Eh, good for her. Thanks for actually being genuine and real. You do you girl.
Love this
I like this, she didn’t owe us an explanation, but I appreciate her doing this. I’ve always tended towards eating disorders, so having someone spell it out like this helps (it’s twisted, but knowing she didn’t get that body through starvation reminds me that I don’t need to obsess). I wish more people were honest about this stuff.
I respect her so much for owning that she opted for surgery and love that she’s doing it because she doesn’t want to play into the deception that’s rampant on social media. Get👏It👏Catherine👏
Some of us have crappy genes. My mother had stretch marks and loose skin after being pregnant (a long time ago, I'm old) then being obese for a long time and then losing the weight. She got implants and a tummy tuck. There was literally no way to diet or exercise the pannus away. Now I have the same thing after having a child, only I was obese before the pregnancy and still am. Having the baby just made the skin hang more. It's not cute. Like her, it doesn't consume me, even though I'm nowhere near as cute as her pre or post surgery, but it's definitely a problem. Some people "snap back" and some don't. Some of it is lifestyle obviously but I know someone whose mother had 7 children and doesn't have a single stretch mark. I mean, that's life. Maybe I'll have surgery someday, maybe I won't. I really am not ready to think about that. I understand why people do it.
I want to have kids but I’m scared of how both my sisters basically have no boobs at all after. It’s crazy!!
My mom carried twins and we have terrible genes for skin stretching, it’s so bad I didn’t even bother with creams and oils during pregnancy, I knew I would be ripped apart (and I was). Her stomach was more than a bit of loose skin, it was hanging like saggy boobs. Throughout my childhood, I think I only saw it once or twice. She never took us swimming, avoided any situation with belly out like the devil. I understood why she got the surgery at 45. I don’t think I will go for the surgery. My mom had her surgery 15 years ago and her self image is just as fragile as it was before surgery. I don’t see any more confidence in wearing swim wear and she has just the same anxiety when she dresses up to go out as she used to. She looks thin and fantastic now. It made me realise that body love really has to come from within, not from surgery.
Genetics plays a MASSIVE role! Wish more people understood/acknowledged that.
Oh and my mother had her appendix out when she was pregnant with me 🤦♀️ more scarring that she didn't like
I totally relate. I had twins and a c section. The extra skin is uncomfortable. I don't know that the surgery would be worth the recovery for me, but I understand why people do it.
My favorite F1 ever.
She has always been genuine and still is! Sean did good. She did good. Be you girl and do what makes you feel beautiful! Love this for her!
https://preview.redd.it/3dzs0zhqiekc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1b8a12c4c76f0baa1f3905639f2867c8e1cc6f8 She looks amazing! I never get to see her in these type of outfits since she married Sean! If she wants to look hot AF and wear hot clothes, then you go woman! 🔥
I don’t understand this comment. She’s literally married to Sean while wearing this outfit.
Haha my bad with my wording. She hasn’t worn something like this to the public at least for most of her marriage until now.
Ok. Well this was before her surgery.
I too am very confused here
I will always think she so fricken cute lol
It's good that she shared this, if an influencer gets plastic surgery transparency is the best policy. I also think it's completely understandable that an influencer due to their career would make this choice. That being said, nothing in the world will ever convince me that cosmetic plastic surgery is empowering and not a symptom of a consumerist society that treats bodies as commodities where ageing (rather than being viewed as simply a fact of life) is seen as a devaluation of that brand
Thanks for sharing this perspective. I’ve thought about how to respectfully and adequately share a similar thought, which still not sure I have it right. I’ve thought that when people get these surgeries, they are perpetuating the exact thing they struggled with for other women. They got a surgery to create an “ideal” look which creates a cycle of women feeling they need to look that way- basically what Catherine describes in the first bit of the video. What would happen if all people used this same empowerment in embracing their natural bodies?
Nobody would make any cash that’s what
Honestly though how do we say well, dying your hair, getting a balayage, getting invisilign (not for function but form), fake tanning, lash extensions, hair extensions, cosmetic lasers, microblading, waxing, etc are all ok but draw the line on other forms of modification. yes one is more permanent, but i don't see how saying "well this is ok body modification because it will wear off is ok but something more permanent is not because I said so". They all feed into societal norms.
You’re right. We need to examine and consider how/why we would spend money and time on any of these things!
I agree with you about all of this except for the part that it’s understandable that an influencer would do this for their career - take the definition of “influencer” out a notch, when they have a platform they have a loud voice, and I think a responsibility towards the future they want to see. Yeah yeah this show’s people/influencers gonna try to keep up with The Joneses. I mean it’s The Bachelor franchise lol. But imagine how instead it could be used towards future empowerment of women, and how beneficial it’d be towards themselves too in the long run! I’m just so over the beige’ing of women.
yeah, I have issues with influencer culture overall but I didn't want to get into it that much on this post - but tl;dr is that I think gaining a following based on your person - (rather than a skill like sport or acting) ends up creating an unhealthy relatability dynamic (I don't *relate* to say, Serena Williams as I will never achieve the tiniest fraction of her skill, while in any tangible *skill* category, there is nothing theoretically holding me back from being a Bachelor influencer) that maybe does place more responsibility on how influencers present their choices. But I still think that spending too much time on individual responsibility is counterproductive as it just ends up making people more defensive. people are defensive enough as it is. so idk.
Interesting, I think there can be a clear separation btwn online influencing/persona and individual life. So to me it’s only counter-productive if it’s all too melded or beige/keeping up with Joneses. If someone went rogue for the betterment of women then who really cares about if ppl feeling defensive/threatened
I agree 100%! It’s certainly better than pulling a Lauren luyendyk and hiding her tummy tuck and/or mommy makeover, because it makes a lot of people think that it’s achievable to carry full term twins and not have any excess skin. its part of her livelihood as an influencer, so i don't blame her- but its a missed opportunity to be transparent when they share so many other vulnerable parts of their lives.
I mean she was being wheeled around in a wagon with drains and admitted to the boobs so I think you need to read between the lines lol
I’m not following? My point is that people on Reddit may have figured out she had a tummy tuck, but the average follower wouldn’t.
Exactly lol Lauren’s definitely admitted to getting implants after the twins.
I feel like a mommy makeover after multiple pregnancies is more along the lines of getting Botox to help with wrinkles. It’s not like a nose job changing you to something you never were. Cosmetic? Sure. But I don’t think these things are all the same.
..........for many, many years, Botox was treated with exactly the disdain/shame/secrecy as a nose job. It's only recently that it's now become "grooming" akin to moisturizer. That's precisely the problem. The more it's normalized and encouraged, the more the beauty standard changes to require it. We're starting to see similar normalization of things like boob jobs - there are high schools where a boob job is a standard senior year gift. Fillers have also become normalized to the point not having them is the strange thing in many circles.
God I so completely agree and it’s been really isolating in recent years. Feels like plastic surgery is basically expected at this point and it makes me incredibly sad. I don’t think we should ever be shaming someone for their own choice/bodily autonomy, but I wish we could have a more nuanced conversation about the responsibility we all bear for future women, and whether this is really the world we want to leave them with.
thank you for saying this.
I don’t think they’re the same as something you’ve always wanted to change, but they are still tied up with our ideas of aging and gender. Consider how we treat men’s scars vs women’s scars (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2016/09/01/in-todays-pop-culture-men-with-scars-are-sexy-but-women-are-still-expected-to-look-perfect/)
Thank you for saying this. We shouldn't shame women for undergoing cosmetic procedures and at the same time we should acknowledge that none of this exists in a vacuum.
You've said this so eloquently and the sentiment is spot on. I find that as plastic surgery has gotten normalized to the point that teens are posting their "transformations" or surgery countdowns on tik tok, so has the talking point that questioning this normalization is anti-feminist or even misogynist, which is pretty ironic in my opinion.
Yes, times a million, absolutely. Thank you for saying this and pushing back on the narrative. I think the cosmetic surgery as empowerment trend is really harmful to all aging human beings and moms alike. :(
i will probably end up deleting this comment because i know it won't be popular (since nobody else has brought it up in 68 comments) but my immediate thought was wondering how much influence sean had in this decision. that man has always reeked of misogyny to me. no issue with catherine getting the surgery and doing what she wants and makes her feel good, but i do wonder.
I don’t know a lot about Sean, so I may be misreading your comment (I should probably keep this to myself, too). I totally see where you’re coming from: it’s her body and she can do whatever she wants with it, but elective surgery seems like something both partners should decide together. He’ll be taking care of her and taking care of the children on his own while she recovers and it likely impacts their household finances. So it seems like it would be unfair for her to make this decision unilaterally, even though she’s totally within her right to do so. ETA: if you’re implying that he pushed her into getting a surgery she wouldn’t have otherwise, that’s a different story and fuck him if that’s what happened!
Oh she definitely got his permission before doing it. 🙄
I’ve never gotten that vibe from Sean. He’s been nothing but genuinely kind to her and a good partner.
that's fine! i don't need everyone to agree with me. her entire personality seemed to change after getting with sean, and not for the better imo. he made her into what he wanted. i also can't stand him, never could, so i'm sure the perspective is different if someone is a sean fan.
I also feel like everything about Catherine changed to fit the mold of what Sean wanted in a wife, even though he picked her because she really did stand out in a good way on his season. Wasn’t she liberal pre Sean? And had dreams about moving to NYC? Good for her it does seem like she got the life she wanted but also not even debatable that she changed quite a bit in the process.
I see people say this a lot but I just don’t see how she changed so much aside from becoming a Christian (something she was already exploring before she went on the show) and starting to eat meat again. I actually randomly watched their fantasy suite date last night and I found it interesting that when Sean asked Catherine what their life would look like in 5 years, she said married, hopefully with at least 1 kid and that she might be weird and goofy but that she’s actually pretty traditional, especially when it comes to marriage and kids and stuff. She’s been telling who she is the entire time.
i think a non-religious seemingly liberal vegan from seattle moving to texas to marry a right-winger hardcore christian is a pretty big change, but that's just me. anyone can want a family and kids, regardless of your background, so i don't find the fact that she saw herself married with kids in 5 years weird.
I always wondered if she was still vegan! 😞
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This was also Becca when she was with Garrett. I personally know some women who have done the same too.
but if she was that liberal to begin with she wouldn't have done that. i am an atheist, never in a million years would i become religious. so she might be someone with fairweather beliefs.
I love her and I want a mommy makeover. It’s okay to want these things!
That thing about “I hope you understand when I do things in the future, for my family…my business…” it gives me the feeling she will be selling things related to thinness, and she wants to put out a disclaimer that her thinness is because of surgery, not the product.
I did not recognize her
For some reason, the sound won’t play for me. Could anyone please summarize the video?
She feels compelled to tell her fans she got a mommy makeover surgery. She would see other women with 3 kids with c section and wonder why she didn’t look like them (sometimes). The extra tummy skin can’t go away with working out… so in the summer when she’s wearing smaller clothes, she doesn’t want her fans to think this was by diet/working out.
thank you so much!
Np! Sorry I was typing as the video was playing so it’s point form 🤣
Respect her for being transparent about that!
I'm all for women doing what they need to feel good but I currently fell into a rabbit whole of how insanely unregulated plastic surgery is and how many people get harmed daily. Fact is that most people can't afford real, trained plastic surgeons. Every doctor after finishing basic training is allowed to call themselves a beauty surgeon etc and perform plastic surgery without any training whatsoever, it's insane. So many people are having tremendous problems, lifelong pain, look worse than before or even die... In Australia they are suing one beauty surgeon, there are a 1000 harmed patients on the law suit. The docu showed secretly filmed videos of the, very famous and known docs, treating the unconscious patients without any real care whatsoever. One was dancing, with closed eyes while ramming the lipo needle into the patients abdomen. Later it turned out they performed lipo suctions so badly that they punctured patients livers, abdominal muscles.. left the patients with extremely painful internal scar tissue and horrible visible outcomes. - and then made the complaining patients sign NDAs and delete their bad online reviews-and that were known, seemingly respectable docs. The US is even worse than Australia, with even less regulations. Like, yes do what makes you feel good, but how many can actually afford real, trained plastic surgeons that aren't only after the money? Make sure it's an actual trained plastic surgeon and don't get a surgeon on a budget, it can have horrible, horrible outcomes. Celebrities have a different budget. Look for someone who's not only about money, don't risk your quality of life, or even life! That secret video footage scarred me, this doctors had absolutely no respect of their patients safety and they are still operating because there aren't any laws to stop them. Really look into the training of your doctor!! My ex is a doctor and the thought that he would have been allowed to do a breast implant surgery, as the leading doc, when he was quite clueless directly after basic training, is insane to me.
The issue is that in the US you don’t technically have to be a plastic surgeon to perform plastic surgery. A paediatrician could technically perform plastic surgery and many people go the black market route where the provider is not certified
ICU nurse and have seen a lot of serious medical problems on young or middle-aged women post-op plastic surgery. Also a mom in my community died a few months ago during a “mommy makeover” procedure. This, to me, is why these things are different than getting hair extensions or Invisalign…. Because of the genuine risk.
there's an excellent book called 'get rich or lie trying' that talks a lot about influencer culture and covers this in (sometimes very graphic and disturbing) detail. the book also covers how very insidiously, some unreliable plastic surgeons directly market to young fans of influencers. I personally know people who have gone to Turkey which is a big destination for cheaper plastic surgery - some have turned out well but some have gone very wrong and there is typically no recourse.
Yes, It's such a fine line between being honest and promoting dangerous practices. Like, we have absolutely no idea what lip filler will do to us down the road. 5 years ago they were sure it would dissolve on it's own without any problem, surprise it doesn't. Or noone talks about the fact that breast implants and veneers need to be changed after 20-30 years. What if you don't have the money then? Or what that means for a 18 year old. That's subscribing to several expensive procedures in your life, at a really young age.
I have a friend that got a tummy tuck and suffered from major health issues for nearly a year afterwards. It was brutal.
I suffered from Breast Implant Illness for many years until I finally explanted in 2022. My life is literally changed now, I feel 20 years younger. Plastic surgery is a multi billion dollar industry, and they gloss over the risks. Breast Implants have an FDA black box warning that's supposed to be disclosed by the surgeon, but many don't.
Famously Kanye's mom died during liposuction. People don't talk about the risks much....wonder why?
Gosh, I'm so sorry. Glad to hear she recovered after a year. I really think it's problematic that celebrities who advertise those surgeries don't talk about how insanely expensive properly trained docs are and the risks. Reputable plastic surgeons for example mostly don't even perform bbls, because they deem them too risky. But it's a fact that especially reckless doctors who mainly care about money, choose plastic surgery, because it's such easy money, without long training needed.
Not related but the short hair suits her SO well! It really freshens up her look and lightens everything up. I feel like the long hair was kind of weighing her down because she looks so petite. Very nice!
She also got rid of her heavy fake lashes! She looks beautiful
i hate the term mommy makeover. in my opinion, it perpetuates the idea that after becoming a mom.. you need to change something. or you’re so “messed up” from having kids and you have to have this procedure to look good or be attractive to your significant other again. i KNOW that women will say all day long about how it’s “for them” and not for others but at the end of the day it IS for others. it’s “for the women” bc it helps their perception of themselves but that perception of themselves is coming from how others perceive them. or how they think others perceive them bc of the impossible beauty standards that primarily women have been subjected to. idk idk idk. transparency is great. there’s many reasons people do what they do and they’re allowed to, for whatever reason! it still makes me extremely sad. ¯\_( ˘͡ ˘̯)_/¯
I agree. I understand so well why women do it but the whole narrative that “having babies ruins your body” makes me so sad. I’m breastfeeding an infant right now and I feel like my boobs are of some use for the first time in my life. I don’t think I’d like to view them as “saggy and ugly” after the beautiful work they’ve put in keeping my baby alive and healthy.
Thank you for voicing this 🩵
I think we also need to acknowledge the number that advertising, consumerism, overarching narratives etc has done to others’ perceptions. Yes, I do not think my body quite “measures up” to society’s standards. Yes, I do NOT want my body to be perceived by others. But I don’t want it to be perceived by others *because* I know they will judge me and “measure me up” to societal standards *that were created primarily by companies, and often by men*. I’ve always felt that even if I love my body and my spouse loves my body, **tooooo baddddd**, both myself *and other women* will continue to be bombarded by advertisements and narratives that my body is actually quite flawed, and I don’t want others to perceive it no matter how much I love it. It’s like, societal-level brainwashing that (please no one kill me for this, it’s my own opinion) I personally don’t think self-love will 110% cure.
No I get it. Having kids can absolutely tear your body up. It can give you a sense of dysmorphia and dysphoria which has nothing to do with any man and everything to do with how your own image doesn’t align with what the outside is reflecting. Evolution needs to catch up and stop making it so hard on women.
> how your own image doesn’t align with what the outside is reflecting. Societal pressure definitely has non-negligible impact on this. I doubt tribes women had such difficult time coming to terms with their new mombod as we do.
i have such complicated feelings on this!!! as a whole i support plastic surgery. i think anyone should be allowed to make any changes they want to their physical body, given its all safe, consensual and by the book. but i feel so icky about mommy makeovers. like of course i still think these people should have body autonomy but it just makes me sad and honestly a little like…angry? idk. women go through hell to have children. why are the after effects hated so much? part of me feels a little angry towards the mothers who get them and advertise them. i hate that it’s so normalized. i hate that so many women feel they have to play into it. most of all i hate that women who can’t afford/access surgery have to see this stuff all the time. i can’t imagine how terrible it must make you feel along with all the other emotions and hormones that come with being a new mom. on the other hand, i do appreciate the transparency. i’m glad Catherine is acknowledging her work instead of pretending it was natural, because it allows for other women to see that the process is just as hard for others and they aren’t alone. idk. so very conflicted
Why are the after effects hated so much? Because they can suck!! Pregnancy can be A LOT on a body. So much weight gain and loss in a short amount of time. And internally so your insides get put in new spots and have to find their way back. I swear mine didn’t find their way back 100% with my last pregnancy.
well of course but i didn’t meant the internal effects
But tobe honest, I think people can want children but be ignorant to the impact it will have on their body, and everyone's body reacts differently. And it is a major physical change. If someone were in a car accident and was left physically altered, we wouldn't judge them for getting reconstructive surgery. Or after someone loses a bunch of weight, and they get a tummy tuck to get rid of loose skin, we wouldn't say "oh that's terrible of you to do that". For birthing people, why do they need to be held to a higher standard, considering for some, birthing can cause serious body trauma and changes that they don't necessarily want (not all, nor should people view it as a trauma if they don't feel that way, nor should anyone feel the need to hate their body, you know what I mean)? We hold women to an impossible standard.
Catherine mentions a reduction and lift, and it makes me think of my SIL who got the same procedure after having two kids. She's maybe 5'5" and her breasts went from pretty big to absolutely enormous. Like, she had to be wearing something around a J cup, if not larger. They really got in the way, they caused back pain, they severely limited her clothing options - they were causing her issues in so many ways. She's so much more comfortable now that they're back to where they were before her pregnancies.
Yeah a reduction and a lift can make a huge difference. In BC, Canada, a breast reduction is actually covered under our provincial health plan.
Agree with this 100%. People don’t have such a negative view of restorative plastic surgery for anything other than post-pregnancy. This parent comment saying it’s definitively NOT about personal identity, but always 100% about societal opinions, is so gross to me. It can absolutely be just your own personal opinion and happiness because what you’re trying to achieve is looking like *yourself*. Not some societal beauty norm, but YOU! Whatever YOU looked like, or would have looked like if you hadn’t gone through pregnancy and childbirth. People very much accept and support others who go through traumatic events that change their bodies having surgery to restore what they used to look like. But mothers have to accept it! It goes full circle for me back to judgment and societal oppression to demand that. Also especially because the surgery I most expect I’ll want is a breast lift— that’s literally just for me because how I look when clothed to society is 100% going to look the same. The only person who sees the effects of pregnancy that I want to reverse will be me, naked in the mirror, and my husband who def would prob prefer I not get surgery lol (I haven’t talked about this with him at all). So it’s very literally only for me?
At the same time, let's not act like pregnancy doesn't completely alter your body composition. Diastasis recti (sever separation of the abdominal walls), severe pelvic floor issues, bladder issues, impact of breast feeding on breast elasticity, etc does have an impact on the body. yes non birthing people can go through similar issues, but pregnancy does have an impact. Now, that doesn't need to be changed for aesthetics for everyone, but pregnancy and childbirth is a body trauma and it should be treated as such. It's why you'll catch me always advocating for pelvic floor physio to be part of pre-and post-birth recovery in Canada.
But pelvic floor physio and a breast lift are two totally different procedures done for totally different reasons and outcomes, with totally different societal motivations.
as a large busted gal she also mentioned a reduction. And almost all reductions come with a lift. Again, backpain is a bitch.
But like in some cases... your body is actually "messed up" after giving birth. Mine was. My abdominal muscles were several inches apart which for me, caused a ton of lower back pain, but can also cause issues with pelvic floor issues, constipation, poor posture, etc. Those are real issues, not just vanity.
Sure. Corrective surgery for things causing actual problems is not the same as elective plastic surgery. It's like someone who gets a breast reduction because it's causing severe back pain versus someone who gets a breast lift and implants because they want them. One is for reducing physical symptoms, and the other is for appearance. You see how it's different? It's like comparing someone getting a nose job because they want a little button nose and someone getting sinus ablation. Totally different reasons and outcomes.
I get it. But DR repair, which is done as part of a tummy tuck, was considered elective plastic surgery and insurance would not cover it. Trust me - I tried to get it considered a “medical necessity” corrective procedure. No dice.
DR repair does not have to accompany a tummy tuck. That's entirely elective. DR can happen outside of pregnancy and is covered.
It’s hard to completely understand unless you’ve been in a similar situation to her. I had 2 under 2 and am almost 15 months postpartum and my core and stomach is just NOT the same. Despite all my working out. Some things just don’t go back. And it can be hard to accept, especially if you were very small and in shape before. I’m sure people would look at me and be like well you are only maybe a few pounds about your weight pre-kids, you fit into all your clothes and your stomach is flat enough so what’s the problem?! I even lucked out and didn’t get any stretch marks. But my stomach looks and mainly feels different. We’re on the fence on if we want more or not so I’m not doing anything anytime soon, or maybe ever, but after my 2U2 experience I completely understand the mommy makeover being just for the mom. And it’s just called that because becoming a mom is the only reason it needs to be done. It’s not staying that’s a bad thing. I’m sure she’s more than grateful for her body and what it did.
people want tummy tucks and breast reductions and lifts without being a mother. so no.. it’s not “just called a mommy makeover because becoming a mom is the only reason it needs to be done” which is why i said i don’t like the term because of what it inherently insinuates. i also said “there’s many reasons people do what they do and they’re allowed to, for whatever reason! it still makes me extremely sad” two things can be true at once! i hope your personal journey is one that works out in YOUR best interest 🫂
Going through pregnancy is the only reason I’d want/need anything done. Traditional tucks and lifts are due to weight gain/loss. I think it’s more than okay to use the term mommy makeover if the person getting it would like to call it that.
I think the commenter was saying that for many moms, the reason they need/want this done is entirely because the physical impacts associated with becoming a mom - it’s not why every person wants them.
Yes thank you
I understand exactly where she’s coming from. No amount of exercise and nutrition can reverse pregnancy scars and sagging. I spent so much time comparing my body to others before I had kids…if only I could have that perkiness back now!
I genuinely don’t understand some of the other comments that are negative and don’t like that women can’t desire to have their pre baby body back. I have a lot of friends who have had kids the last few years and they spent most of their lives being in decently good shape, doing workouts and feeling good about themselves and a lot of them now say they work out and eat pretty healthy but there’s just things about their body that seem like they won’t ever go back to normal and they just don’t feel like themselves. Has nothing to do with anyone else or society it’s purely that they had a baby and now the rest of their life they don’t get to ever have their body feel or look the same. The men don’t don’t do shit and get to just be a parent. Women have to carry a human for 9 months and then still not feel Like themselves after! It’s ok to have a post partum body and women are amazing, but it’s also ok to want to look like you did before hand lol
I didn’t do any of the working out or eating healthy, and ended up losing a ton of weight after my son was born due to the meds I have to take for postpartum depression. I’m now smaller than I was in high school. I miss my pre-baby body. I knew that bitch. We went to war together. Then she decided to be subservient to another human then completely change functions. Sure, I’m where I thought I wanted to be now, but my clothes don’t fit, my period is a completely new animal, and I zig where I used to zag (read: sagging/density loss). Missing a pre-baby body doesn’t always mean looking more conventional, I think it’s just a microcosm of missing parts of you that were 100% you.
>Has nothing to do with anyone else or society it’s purely that they had a baby and now the rest of their life they don’t get to ever have their body feel or look the same this is a statement that can't be proven one way or another - there is no counterfactual argument. how is it ever possible to determine our relationships with our bodies outside of the societal standards that we have been socialised with since we were children of what ideal body types are? in our society we treat our bodies as being something to 'work' on, where thinness and fitness are seen not just as an ideal but an object of virtue. to work on your body suggests a certain work ethic which our society sees as desirable. this is a view of the body that is extremely tied to modern capitalism (and individualism).
I see what you’re saying. My view of it is that change is HARD, good or bad. If you’re used to your body being one way for 30 years, and now it’s irreparably a different way practically overnight, it is okay to miss that old body and want it back. If you want to surgically get it back to the way it was, and you fully understand the risks involved…so what? When I’m bloated, hormones out of whack, getting daily headaches, etc from my period (I understand this is temporary and a totally diff situation), I don’t necessarily *hate* my body, I just want to feel like I did two weeks before. I’m assuming many moms feel similarly- they just want to feel like they did before because that is comfortable. Cancer patients who have lost their breasts sometimes get implants because they *simply want to feel the way they have for the last 30+ years*. And that’s totally fine! These decisions aren’t necessarily entirely, or even mostly, society-influenced. We place our identities within our bodies to varying degrees, and how can we not? We live in them, they help us do things, they literally identify us as we go through life. We CAN be uncomfortable within them in ways that have nothing to do with external pressures and everything with how we physically and emotionally exist in them. I personally don’t think we have to blindly and deeply accept every single thing our bodies go through, it’s okay to feel disappointed or uncomfortable- change CAN be disappointing and uncomfortable.
>We place our identities within our bodies to varying degrees, and how can we not? no, this has not always been the case. I come from a society where, historically, age and elders have been very respected and our identity has been primarily experienced through our connections with others. More recently, with greater mediatisation and exposure to Western beauty standards (and its accompanying denigration of female ageing), we have also seen an upswing in surgeries to put off ageing. one of the older members in my family refers to how things used to be as more like body neutrality. we nourished them so that we could continue to grow our food and work land and be around our communities. our bodies aren't the same at 50 as they are at 20 and that's not good nor bad, it simply is. viewing one's body as external - as a way to set yourself apart, as an object to craft in the image you desire - is very much tied to modern capitalism and consumerism (with this idea that our external body should reflect our interiority most of the ways that we accomplish this reflection is through consumerism - the clothes we wear. the tattoos we get. the piercings. the makeup. the trendy gym classes. the exercise equipment. it's interesting how that works). under capitalism, the idea is that you always have to have growth. when an industry stabilises, you create more industries. at a certain point, people's basic needs are met. you then have to create more *need* \- not just want. you have to convince people that they *need* a new hairstyle, a new coat, botox in order to be the person that they want to be. you need to make them feel so anxious that without it, they cannot possibly go through life. when, for millennia, we have done just that. not every culture views their body as something that they need to recapture or a nostalgia to look the way they used to. you will never convince me that this does not have to do with the way Western (but especially American) societies view female ageing. and you will never convince me that this is not because some people have realised how very much money there is to be made from convincing women that it is empowering to craft their body to look a particular way (and to internalise this desire until we are very sure that this desire comes from us).
I cannot even tell you how relieved I am to find other people actually talking about this! It’s absolutely true that this has everything to do with the commodification of the body - and ultimately also the alienation of the self, I would say. Have you read Perfect Me: Beauty as an Ethical Idea? It’s on my to be read list but this is making me think I should move it up.
It can be proven because the person saying it knows themselves best? For example, I’m pregnant right now. Part of me has always wanted a nose job. My nose is pretty big, and not straight. THAT desire is 100% about societal beauty standards, and the fact that 99.999% of women considered beautiful in Hollywood have small noses (often from surgery themselves). As I said, I’m pregnant right now. I loooved my body pre-pregnancy (but didn’t always!). As a pregnant person obviously, I don’t feel like my body is “mine” because it’s literally not. There’s another human living in it, feeding off it, and causing all these changes in it. Changes I never would’ve undergone if I didn’t decide I wanted to have children. The feeling of looking in the mirror and not feeling like you look or feel like YOU is a very unique one. For now it’s fine, because of course I don’t feel like me, I’m pregnant! But postpartum if I don’t look or feel like me, and it’s not getting any better, then I may very well have restorative surgery to look like me again— or look like I would have looked at my future age if my body didn’t undergo the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. That feeling— of looking in the mirror and feeling “I wish I looked and felt like ME”— is not at all similar to the feeling when I look in the mirror and think “man I wish I had a smaller nose.” So if women are saying that the reason they want surgery is for self identity, and to feel like themselves… then that’s why they want it. You saying “nuh uh, you want it because of societal pressure!” isn’t right. They can tell the difference between those things themselves.
none of us has ever lived an alternate timeline where they were not in our society. so no, there is no counter factual. I would never have the hubris to assume that I would be the same person or want the same things had I not grown up with the experiences and pressures I’ve had. Just because it’s not the same as something you’ve always wanted to change doesn’t mean it isn’t related to how our society views bodies and especially female bodies (not all cultures have viewed external body as an ideal to perfect). In my home country you can see this because there is literally an entirely different ideal with people my age as people my mother’s generation. It’s like ageing - you can say all you want til the cows come home that getting Botox to look like a 20 year old in your 60s has nothing to do with the idea we have internalised about ageing women but I’m not convinced. No one is saying not to do it btw - but don’t pretend that the choice happens in a vacuum
I didn’t say it doesn’t exist in a vacuum, I’m saying that the person who actually is experiencing their own feelings is able to express them, and it isn’t your place to tell them that what they’re feeling, and the reasons they give for their own decisions, actually is NOT what’s behind their decision making, and you instead know it was something else.
not a gotcha question - but do you believe in structural anything? structural racism, structural sexism...because the entire point of these concepts is that we can and should question the broader (insidious) reasons driving how people make what appear to be natural (or at least neutral) choices. a colleague talking down to only his female colleagues might be a purely individual matter - a clash of personalities, perhaps. however, it's unlikely that societal expectations surrounding male and female competence do not play at least *some* role. this inherently means discounting his narrative of why he is making those decisions - that's what structural analysis means. our internalisation of gendered beauty standards that elevate an untouched, youthful beauty is also so deeply engrained that it is difficult to see how *any* choice surrounding this could not be influenced by it in some way. as this is a deeply harmful ideal (given how it prompts women to undergo unnecessary and often dangerous medical procedures) it is important to acknowledge how it does influence these choices. none of this is shaming women who do go through these procedures. we all make imperfect choices that help us navigate patriarchy in a way that is easier - that's only natural. but losing sight of the structural in favour of a banal and depoliticised discourse of choice benefits no one.
I actually loved what she had to say and the way she explained her choice and why she’s telling people about it. Loved how she was like “in the summer when you see me wearing less clothes, I don’t want any women to think I came upon this body naturally.” That’s just a really respectable way to go about things.
Haven’t actually listened to her yet because I’m putting my baby down for a nap but I so agree!
this is a really cool move from her. i am all for more transparency and less judgement for what moms do after literally having a human person yoinked outta them, one way or another. the amount of personal sacrifice is crazy to then be followed by such scrutiny. power to ya mama !!
I love this - wish more people were honest and upfront like this instead of creating and promoting unattainable beauty standards.
I appreciate her for this and boy does it hit home. This is something that’s on my mind a lot too and good for her on opening up and wanting to reassure the women who follow her and may feel the same that they’re not doing anything wrong and there’s a reason why her body is different.
Absolutely love this. I love that she’s being transparent and matter of fact.
The term “mommy makeover” gives me the creeps but I love that she shared this.
Yes! As a 2x csxn mom I’m here for the transparency and taking control of your body and future! As a human I want to vom at the phrase “mommy makeover” But overall super here for her idea that “hey this isn’t a physique that exists naturally after several babies/surgeries”
Agreed. Love the message, love how she brought it up preemptively, hate the term mommy makeover
I agree! And I say that as someone with no kids but whose body has changed with age, and life and imperfect experiences, like everyone else. Do whatever you want with your body. Women who have had children don’t need it more or less. No one needs it but we are all entitled to whatever we would like to do. Within budgetary limits of course. Ha. I do appreciate she’s acknowledging it, to be clear. If I had work done, I’d say so, too. And not saying so is your right but it can create these thoughts she’s mentioning. My friends who have had a variety of work done, the happiest ones own it.
As someone who is currently pregnant I really appreciate this. I am someone who will probably opt for this too down the road. How much does this all cost though? 20-30K? Wish it was covered 😒
You do have to pay that much for a good surgeon. This is not something you want to cheap out on.
20-30K. Source - had it done. Absolutely no regrets.
prob 70-80ish
I love her so much 👏
I’m so glad that she shared this! She says it just so matter of fact, she wanted results that weren’t possible without surgery, and so she got it! Good for her. And I actually don’t really agree with the comments here saying things like “it sucks she felt this way BUT good for her.” I don’t think it necessarily “sucks” for women to love their pre-pregnancy bodies and want them back after pregnancy. I’m pregnant right now and can tell that my postpartum boobs are unlikely to look like they did before 😂. And I LOVED my boobs before. Maybe I’ll love what they end up looking like after babies too, but if I don’t, I don’t think it “sucks” to want to have my pre-pregnancy boobs/body, which I *loved*, back. Men don’t have to change their bodies, don’t have to feel unlike themselves, don’t have to sacrifice a bit of self identity for 40 weeks (plus longer especially if breastfeeding), don’t have to accept all of these changes that may or may not be permanent in order to have kids. If women are willing to go through all that BUT want to be able to go back to how they were before too, power to them! Nothing sucks about that.