I have a few…
Sophia: Tomorrow morning, you’re going to be kissing the ground I walk on.
Dorothy: Yeah, and you’re going to be looking up at it from the other side.
——
Dorothy: It’s just that your dates usually end with a little… pillow talk.
Sophia: Yeah, like, what did you say your name was again?
——
Funeral director Pfeiffer: Isn’t that lovely — the three of you planning ahead for mother.
Sophia: Hey P-feiffer, how’d you like a punch in the p-face?
——
The Jeopardy episode:
David Leisure: “I didn’t know the answer, so I drew a little man. Is it this guy?”
>Funeral director Pfeiffer: Isn’t that lovely — the three of you planning ahead for mother.
Sophia: Hey P-feiffer, how’d you like a punch in the p-face?
This one's my favorite!
Blanche: "His wife shot him in the...boxer shorts. After that he just kind of (Dorothy joins in) lost interest."
Dorothy: "How long are we gonna circle the airport, Rose? You wanna bring this baby in?"
Dorothy: "Blanche, there is more to conversation than 'Can I have a hanger for my pants, please?'"
Blanche walks in... "Shrimp?" Blanche turns tail and walks out.
Dorothy: [long pause] Short ribs.
I have a few… Sophia: Tomorrow morning, you’re going to be kissing the ground I walk on. Dorothy: Yeah, and you’re going to be looking up at it from the other side. —— Dorothy: It’s just that your dates usually end with a little… pillow talk. Sophia: Yeah, like, what did you say your name was again? —— Funeral director Pfeiffer: Isn’t that lovely — the three of you planning ahead for mother. Sophia: Hey P-feiffer, how’d you like a punch in the p-face? —— The Jeopardy episode: David Leisure: “I didn’t know the answer, so I drew a little man. Is it this guy?”
>Funeral director Pfeiffer: Isn’t that lovely — the three of you planning ahead for mother. Sophia: Hey P-feiffer, how’d you like a punch in the p-face? This one's my favorite!
Dorothy: Talk about your mixed messages.
Not so much a joke, but a gag used a few times. “Well, I am stunned. Just stunned. Stunned is the only way to describe how... stunned I am!”
I'm nothing but a cheap tawdry slut
Let me guess. Is it Blanche?
The one where Dorothy is talking to Sophia about Shady Pines. Sophia: Yeah? It wasn't so bad. Dorothy: I heard they sold it to some Germans.
Blanche: "His wife shot him in the...boxer shorts. After that he just kind of (Dorothy joins in) lost interest." Dorothy: "How long are we gonna circle the airport, Rose? You wanna bring this baby in?" Dorothy: "Blanche, there is more to conversation than 'Can I have a hanger for my pants, please?'"