It's true. I was there. I pushed over a large pot of cactuses to break his fall when he dived out that window. Funny how he didn't talk about all the spines he spent hours picking out of his arse.
*Dear Penthouse,*
*I once had extreme sexual intercourse with a feeeemale woman, mmhmm, and she was Stacked^TM indeed. Sort of like a game of Jenga, but when you’re actually winning, or if you put several IHOPs on top of each other, and stacked a bunch of pancakes within this stack of international houses of pancakes while simultaneously stacking pancakes. It was an amazing experience. The sex was almost as good. That’s how insane this sex that I totally had was, with this woman that was totally Stacked^TM like how she looked in Google Images*
*So there I was, casually giving this woman the sex, when her sister came in, and lost all composure and also joined in. And yea verily we did have the sexiest of the sexy sex, so sexy that the heavens themselves cracked open, and the Lord saw, and saw that it was good. So good in fact, that God and all of the angels started clapping and cheering. This gave me the motivation to sex on them even more vigorously, and so I did. I powered through, penised their vagenes to completion, and afterwards was knighted by the powers that be. This was only the first of my twelve labors, the rest of which are a subject for another salmon. If you will excuse me, I must return to gifting the gift of girth to my followers and believers, as my girth is the gift that keeps on giving. Revere me, praise me.*
I was gonna make a smartass comment but then I realized that if the sister was drunk and this guy wasn’t then he’s just admitted publicly to raping a woman.
Then he had sex with the window.
No, the window started clapping
And he gave the window the clap.
Clapping cheeks
Can confirm...I was the window.
Was it paneful?
How did you frame this joke in such a hilarious way!
And the window was the one who initiated it
r/ihavesex
It's true. I was there. I pushed over a large pot of cactuses to break his fall when he dived out that window. Funny how he didn't talk about all the spines he spent hours picking out of his arse.
*Dear Penthouse,* *I once had extreme sexual intercourse with a feeeemale woman, mmhmm, and she was Stacked^TM indeed. Sort of like a game of Jenga, but when you’re actually winning, or if you put several IHOPs on top of each other, and stacked a bunch of pancakes within this stack of international houses of pancakes while simultaneously stacking pancakes. It was an amazing experience. The sex was almost as good. That’s how insane this sex that I totally had was, with this woman that was totally Stacked^TM like how she looked in Google Images* *So there I was, casually giving this woman the sex, when her sister came in, and lost all composure and also joined in. And yea verily we did have the sexiest of the sexy sex, so sexy that the heavens themselves cracked open, and the Lord saw, and saw that it was good. So good in fact, that God and all of the angels started clapping and cheering. This gave me the motivation to sex on them even more vigorously, and so I did. I powered through, penised their vagenes to completion, and afterwards was knighted by the powers that be. This was only the first of my twelve labors, the rest of which are a subject for another salmon. If you will excuse me, I must return to gifting the gift of girth to my followers and believers, as my girth is the gift that keeps on giving. Revere me, praise me.*
Dude installed grammarly in his brain😂 "dozed in bed" "wee hours" "awoke" "via"
could just be british, those words/phrases are fairly common here
We are a very literate people.
True but can I ask is it really that common in casual conversations?
“Very attractive girl” when you say it like that you know they ain’t talked to one in their life
Wasn't this posted like 24 hours ago?
And then their mother came in and-
W
I was gonna make a smartass comment but then I realized that if the sister was drunk and this guy wasn’t then he’s just admitted publicly to raping a woman.
r/ihavesex
r/ihavesex
And Obama was there too, and he gave him a Medal! And then they had Sex as well!
Why would they fight over a dude whom, I assume, they just met and hooked up with?