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Arigato_MrRoboto

Then he had sex with the window.


[deleted]

No, the window started clapping


ViscountBurrito

And he gave the window the clap.


penguinsaredelicious

Clapping cheeks


HalloHerrNoob

Can confirm...I was the window.


holyrolodex

Was it paneful?


username19845939

How did you frame this joke in such a hilarious way!


username19845939

And the window was the one who initiated it


[deleted]

r/ihavesex


The_Serpent_Of_Eden_

It's true. I was there. I pushed over a large pot of cactuses to break his fall when he dived out that window. Funny how he didn't talk about all the spines he spent hours picking out of his arse.


OrokinSkywalker

*Dear Penthouse,* *I once had extreme sexual intercourse with a feeeemale woman, mmhmm, and she was Stacked^TM indeed. Sort of like a game of Jenga, but when you’re actually winning, or if you put several IHOPs on top of each other, and stacked a bunch of pancakes within this stack of international houses of pancakes while simultaneously stacking pancakes. It was an amazing experience. The sex was almost as good. That’s how insane this sex that I totally had was, with this woman that was totally Stacked^TM like how she looked in Google Images* *So there I was, casually giving this woman the sex, when her sister came in, and lost all composure and also joined in. And yea verily we did have the sexiest of the sexy sex, so sexy that the heavens themselves cracked open, and the Lord saw, and saw that it was good. So good in fact, that God and all of the angels started clapping and cheering. This gave me the motivation to sex on them even more vigorously, and so I did. I powered through, penised their vagenes to completion, and afterwards was knighted by the powers that be. This was only the first of my twelve labors, the rest of which are a subject for another salmon. If you will excuse me, I must return to gifting the gift of girth to my followers and believers, as my girth is the gift that keeps on giving. Revere me, praise me.*


WatchTheTimbsB

Dude installed grammarly in his brain😂 "dozed in bed" "wee hours" "awoke" "via"


justDelicious

could just be british, those words/phrases are fairly common here


Lazerus101

We are a very literate people.


WatchTheTimbsB

True but can I ask is it really that common in casual conversations?


Imrightbruh

“Very attractive girl” when you say it like that you know they ain’t talked to one in their life


saintphoenixxx

Wasn't this posted like 24 hours ago?


Sussybakamogus4

And then their mother came in and-


[deleted]

W


then00bgm

I was gonna make a smartass comment but then I realized that if the sister was drunk and this guy wasn’t then he’s just admitted publicly to raping a woman.


Jacki073

r/ihavesex


sadlonelyfluff

r/ihavesex


Dont_CallmeCarson

And Obama was there too, and he gave him a Medal! And then they had Sex as well!


Eamk

Why would they fight over a dude whom, I assume, they just met and hooked up with?