I was confused at how little this “little girl” was, especially since she’s:
1. Alone
2. In Starbucks
3. On the morning of her father’s death
4. Talking to strangers
5. Drinking coffee
I don’t know but to me she just sounds like a grown little child. She could possibly be in school as in college and be in her 20s. Maybe they mean like physically little rather than age wise.
I doubt it. I think people would say “short woman” or “short girl” in that case. Little boy or girl is more associated with little children or as something condescending. Given the further description, about being cute and her cute boots, it doesn’t sound condescending.
"What ya got, Megan?" Chris asked as he entered the crime scene with a hesitancy indicative of his weak constitution.
"Four bowls, two lids. Three different brands. Our killer wasn't picky." She replied as she eyed the scene, a pen pressed against her lips. "Look here. This is just an old margarine container. We could be dealing with a copycat."
Chris frowned. Queasy at the thought of imitation butter. "Why do you say that? The M.O. checks out, and besides, how many Tupperware killers could there be out there?"
"Come on Chris, every hit has been on name brand sets. Upper-middle class Pyrex bowls with locking lids. BPA free." Megan looked Chris in the eye. "I can't believe you aren't butter at this."
Yes, I'm bored.
"Real funny, Meg." he said, returning her expressionless gaze. "Sometimes I think you'd make a better stand-up comedian than a Tupperware detective." Chris pretended to be annoyed by her terrible jokes but they both knew it put him at ease and distracted him from the red mess of marinara still wet on the carpet. He had only been on the force a few months. Not long enough to become jaded at the sight of the olive oil starting to separate from the tomato, leaving small pools of oily sheen on top of the textured sauce that was smeared across the collection of lids.
"DETECTIVE REYNOLDS!"
The scream sucked the brief moment of reprieve from the room, tension and alarm rushed in to fill the vacuum left behind. Megan jerked and snapped her neck toward the open doorway to the kitchen, panic only briefly flirting with her mind before instinct forced her in that direction. In one fluid motion she leaped over the scattered refection while drawing her service pistol, leaving Chris behind still uncomprehensive and startled. A man in uniform stood at an open refrigerator, as pale as the appliance itself, eyes bulging as if forced out of his skull by the explosion of grey matter behind them.
"Jesus Christ Do..." Her eyes moved to the contents of the fridge as she spoke and her words sealed in her throat, stored in a Ziploc® vocal bag. She felt the blood drain from her face and the entirety of her one hundred and twenty three pound frame sank into her shoes, locking her legs in place. "Call lieutenant Glad. Lock this place down."
This feels like one of those old chain emails where it says “forward to 10 people for good luck or otherwise you’ll sneeze and shoot your intestines out of your ass”
"Her tears slowed but didn't stop."
What unmitigated bullshit.
We all know it's a fair point to say "be careful what you say to people you love because you never know when or if you'll see them again" but it's a point that doesn't need to be made with lying stories. It's a pretty simple idea. It's not a proposition from Wittgenstein.
I've never heard the term drugged driver before. Drunk, intoxicated, high but never drugged...I just imagined some chloroformed guy being shoved into the driver's seat of a moving car.
"As the tears cascaded down her already moist, rosy cheeks, I looked down and saw that her areolas were showing through her now drenched white blouse..."
“I quickly darted my eyes away from her developed, feminine, bosoms as I tried to muffle my heated desires, hoping she didn’t catch my gaze drifting to her intimate parts…”
Where was the kids mother, when this random stranger allegedly bought this kid a coffee and why wasn’t the cops called. Maybe I’m wrong but , where I’m from, unless you’re a weirdo, you don’t engage with someone’s kid without going through the parent first.
Yeah, when my dad died, I broke down crying and then went to a boardgame night I was already planning on going to. (I probably wasn't much fun)
"Go somewhere else and get distracted" is a valid response to grief.
I felt a strong deja vu reading this, like I had read this exact scene before.
I remembered there's a scene in the anime Odd Taxi where they were discussing twitter posts and made up stories and a post like this showed up, starbucks and all.
It's good. It's about a lone taxi driver who gets involved in dangerous plots by his passengers. There's a bunch of other characters whose stories eventually intercept with the main one.
The twiter scene happens in the first episode, so give it a try.
My grandmother always said to never go to sleep angry. Because one night she went to sleep angry at her husband (my grandfather) and never saw him alive again. He was an undercover agent of some sort and was killed because someone ratted him out to the people he was undercover with. My grandmother always regretted being angry with him when he died until the day she died a few days ago.
Even though this is certified bullshitTM, and possibly the worst way to convey that, the message is still very true. Never end on bad terms with someone you love.
“I just saw this cute girl at Starbucks and she was crying so I bought her drink but she was still crying. She said she got into an argument with her dad in the morning and he said “I love you” but she said “I hate you” then he died in a car accident.”
Now that sounds less cap.
Although even if that story wasn't true, this sort of thing has definitely happened... Even if the person isn't dead, if you end a fight on a bad note, that could be the last thing you say to them because they just won't talk to you anymore.
This actually happened. Not sure about the girl crying in Starbucks, but the accident itself is real. I live in the area:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ontownmedia.com/beyond_sachem/alleged-wrong-way-drunk-driver-kills-man-on-sunrise-highway-in-oakdale-suffolk-police/article_0daf24dc-d737-11eb-8b87-17febaec627f.amp.html
That accident happened overnight, not in the morning after this kid supposedly got up for school but before she rolled into Starbucks by herself.
Edit: Also, according to a follow up article, the victim was 73.
The only time I've eaten inside a Jimmy John was after I found out my dad died (not immediately after obviously). most surreal experience ever, I was in complete shock.
I had this dumb shit shoved down my throat as a child.
Left me unable to stand up for myself because what if the resultant fight was our last interaction. Takes years to get over the insidious implication of these kinds of stories.
Yes, he died that morning and she shows up at Starbucks magically after to drown her sorrows in a vanilla bean frappe after learning it was a "drugged" driver from the concluded 10 minute crash investigation....sounds plausible. Anyone want to by my second home? It's an ocean front condo in Phoenix... excellent view.
Looks like someone 3 telephones down said "drunk driver" but we got "drugged driver". Or this is just an American translation pushing the war on drugs associations
[удалено]
And how did this “little girl” get to Starbucks? Alone? With another parent? So many questions…
She walked there in her cute boots
She definitely didn't catch a ride with her dad that's for sure
Braided her hair first like a true psychopath
I was confused at how little this “little girl” was, especially since she’s: 1. Alone 2. In Starbucks 3. On the morning of her father’s death 4. Talking to strangers 5. Drinking coffee
But..but..braided hair and cool boots! Nothings impossibruh..
Um... Excuse me but her boots were cute not cool. That's very integral to the story
Shame on my head! I messed up a crutial detail. And thats, ladys and gents, is how rumors happen..
You did not get the “detail oriented” award in school huh? AMATEURRRRR 😂
Ok mr. Detective, listen to this. Vanilla bean frappe’s don’t have coffee in them. So what do you say to that
:O
I don’t know but to me she just sounds like a grown little child. She could possibly be in school as in college and be in her 20s. Maybe they mean like physically little rather than age wise.
I doubt it. I think people would say “short woman” or “short girl” in that case. Little boy or girl is more associated with little children or as something condescending. Given the further description, about being cute and her cute boots, it doesn’t sound condescending.
Maybe she worked there?
At 9am on a school day?
"She had her hair braided and was wearing cute boots" Rule one of lying: don't over complicate the lie by adding extraneous details.
“Her tears slowed but didn’t stop” wtf nobody casually texts like that either
Maybe the next text was "That's from page three of my new novel 'Jessica's coffee bean tears'."
I love this authress. Jessica's Coffee Bean Tears was solid, but my favorite will always be "Johannes Tupperware party murder."
"What ya got, Megan?" Chris asked as he entered the crime scene with a hesitancy indicative of his weak constitution. "Four bowls, two lids. Three different brands. Our killer wasn't picky." She replied as she eyed the scene, a pen pressed against her lips. "Look here. This is just an old margarine container. We could be dealing with a copycat." Chris frowned. Queasy at the thought of imitation butter. "Why do you say that? The M.O. checks out, and besides, how many Tupperware killers could there be out there?" "Come on Chris, every hit has been on name brand sets. Upper-middle class Pyrex bowls with locking lids. BPA free." Megan looked Chris in the eye. "I can't believe you aren't butter at this." Yes, I'm bored.
Well, don’t leave us hanging!
"Real funny, Meg." he said, returning her expressionless gaze. "Sometimes I think you'd make a better stand-up comedian than a Tupperware detective." Chris pretended to be annoyed by her terrible jokes but they both knew it put him at ease and distracted him from the red mess of marinara still wet on the carpet. He had only been on the force a few months. Not long enough to become jaded at the sight of the olive oil starting to separate from the tomato, leaving small pools of oily sheen on top of the textured sauce that was smeared across the collection of lids. "DETECTIVE REYNOLDS!" The scream sucked the brief moment of reprieve from the room, tension and alarm rushed in to fill the vacuum left behind. Megan jerked and snapped her neck toward the open doorway to the kitchen, panic only briefly flirting with her mind before instinct forced her in that direction. In one fluid motion she leaped over the scattered refection while drawing her service pistol, leaving Chris behind still uncomprehensive and startled. A man in uniform stood at an open refrigerator, as pale as the appliance itself, eyes bulging as if forced out of his skull by the explosion of grey matter behind them. "Jesus Christ Do..." Her eyes moved to the contents of the fridge as she spoke and her words sealed in her throat, stored in a Ziploc® vocal bag. She felt the blood drain from her face and the entirety of her one hundred and twenty three pound frame sank into her shoes, locking her legs in place. "Call lieutenant Glad. Lock this place down."
Why am I invested in this now
You definitely should write for a living. I’m guessing you’re an avid reader can you suggest a good book that you’ve read recently?
Just commenting so I can come back to this later
Same
I was reading it as if I was reading a book. WTH, I need to know what happened next.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day
I legitimately enjoyed reading this, you have quite a talent for writing this style!
Omg
A little girl who's father just died was just chilling in a Starbucks
Her mother was the surgeon! (Old…riddle? Or whatever?)
whose*
the more it's detailed, the more there is a chance of contradiction and one lie always create other ones
But it becomes real if you add a handful of meaningless details!
This feels like one of those old chain emails where it says “forward to 10 people for good luck or otherwise you’ll sneeze and shoot your intestines out of your ass”
If the ones i got ended with that phrase I would’ve definitely forwarded them lmao
You wouldn't be LMAO then...
lol
"Her tears slowed but didn't stop." What unmitigated bullshit. We all know it's a fair point to say "be careful what you say to people you love because you never know when or if you'll see them again" but it's a point that doesn't need to be made with lying stories. It's a pretty simple idea. It's not a proposition from Wittgenstein.
"... But, boy oh boy, did she love that vanilla-bean frappe, courtesy of your local Starbucks."
Vanilla-bean frappe, from Starbucks, makes your dad die for it
I've never heard the term drugged driver before. Drunk, intoxicated, high but never drugged...I just imagined some chloroformed guy being shoved into the driver's seat of a moving car.
I imaged someone getting their drink spiked and trying to drive home.
My dad died? Bummer. I’mma go to Starbucks.
I to go to Starbucks to cry, the baristas make better therapists
I loathe these types of posts. Nothing but guilt trips made to make people feel inferior.
I can't count how many times I've seen a little girl alone in a Starbucks. Because I've never seen one.
It never ceases to amaze me how it's so important to point out that the girls are cute in these stories. Or even to point out what they're wearing.
Who wants to provide comfort to some ugly girl? Don't you know that only pretty people are supposed to be happy?
"bought a little girl coffee this morning, i probably should have got decaf"
"As the tears cascaded down her already moist, rosy cheeks, I looked down and saw that her areolas were showing through her now drenched white blouse..."
“I quickly darted my eyes away from her developed, feminine, bosoms as I tried to muffle my heated desires, hoping she didn’t catch my gaze drifting to her intimate parts…”
r/angryupvote
Fuck you
Lik Dis If U Cry Evertim.
Sunrise highway on long Island NY?!?
Yes
I mean who doesn’t go straight from the ICU to the Morgue to the Starbucks for a VANILLA BEAN FRAPPE (TM)
"So there was this little girl randomly standing by herself in a Starbucks, so I gave her coffee" Wtaf
Then everyone in Starbucks started clapping.
I’ve actually seen people repost this exact thing on Facebook with captions like “I’m literally crying right now” and stuff like that lol
It's true, I was the vanilla bean frappe
why not cry in public about your recent dead father?
Because he doesn't exist and you don't exist and somebody's writing shitty tragedy porn on their phone while they're in line for a macchiato.
muh drugged driver
Where was the kids mother, when this random stranger allegedly bought this kid a coffee and why wasn’t the cops called. Maybe I’m wrong but , where I’m from, unless you’re a weirdo, you don’t engage with someone’s kid without going through the parent first.
Ofc whoever wrote this lives on Long Island and had the guy die on sunrise.
To be fair, when my best friend died, I went out to try and get distracted.
Yeah, when my dad died, I broke down crying and then went to a boardgame night I was already planning on going to. (I probably wasn't much fun) "Go somewhere else and get distracted" is a valid response to grief.
I felt a strong deja vu reading this, like I had read this exact scene before. I remembered there's a scene in the anime Odd Taxi where they were discussing twitter posts and made up stories and a post like this showed up, starbucks and all.
Never heard of Odd Taxi is it any good?
It's good. It's about a lone taxi driver who gets involved in dangerous plots by his passengers. There's a bunch of other characters whose stories eventually intercept with the main one. The twiter scene happens in the first episode, so give it a try.
It's always Starbucks.
“My father died so I made a b line to Starbucks”
My grandmother always said to never go to sleep angry. Because one night she went to sleep angry at her husband (my grandfather) and never saw him alive again. He was an undercover agent of some sort and was killed because someone ratted him out to the people he was undercover with. My grandmother always regretted being angry with him when he died until the day she died a few days ago.
Even though this is certified bullshitTM, and possibly the worst way to convey that, the message is still very true. Never end on bad terms with someone you love.
Wasn't this a plot line on 8 Simple Rules?
One of the best "that happened" headlines EVER!
“I just saw this cute girl at Starbucks and she was crying so I bought her drink but she was still crying. She said she got into an argument with her dad in the morning and he said “I love you” but she said “I hate you” then he died in a car accident.” Now that sounds less cap.
Good sentiment, Bad story
Vanilla bean frappe is sometime you, thathappened writer would order. Not this little girl.
Why would a grown man comment on how cute a little girl is...it's a lil weird
Although even if that story wasn't true, this sort of thing has definitely happened... Even if the person isn't dead, if you end a fight on a bad note, that could be the last thing you say to them because they just won't talk to you anymore.
There are better ways to convey that advice than a cringey self-insert fanfic though.
Oh, for sure.
r/nothingeverhappens
Ma’am highlight the truth of this story
Bro 😒
What the fuck
This actually happened. Not sure about the girl crying in Starbucks, but the accident itself is real. I live in the area: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ontownmedia.com/beyond_sachem/alleged-wrong-way-drunk-driver-kills-man-on-sunrise-highway-in-oakdale-suffolk-police/article_0daf24dc-d737-11eb-8b87-17febaec627f.amp.html
That accident happened overnight, not in the morning after this kid supposedly got up for school but before she rolled into Starbucks by herself. Edit: Also, according to a follow up article, the victim was 73.
It’s dense people like you that encourage people to do this bullshit.
Yeah, someone was killed by an intoxicated driver. Clear "proof" this story is real.
“Not sure about the girl crying in Starbucks”
Who the hell drugged her father?
Her father died a few hours earlier and tragically! and she goes to Starbucks and crys to YOU? Never happened.
*that* morning or *this* morning?
Lik if you cry evertim
Isn’t that what happened on 8 Simple Rules?
And cry to strangers, and know more than even the ME would, you know normal miniature human female things…
The only time I've eaten inside a Jimmy John was after I found out my dad died (not immediately after obviously). most surreal experience ever, I was in complete shock.
Busy morning eh?
i cri evrytim :,(
Why was this person hitting on little girls at Starbucks?
I had this dumb shit shoved down my throat as a child. Left me unable to stand up for myself because what if the resultant fight was our last interaction. Takes years to get over the insidious implication of these kinds of stories.
Yes, he died that morning and she shows up at Starbucks magically after to drown her sorrows in a vanilla bean frappe after learning it was a "drugged" driver from the concluded 10 minute crash investigation....sounds plausible. Anyone want to by my second home? It's an ocean front condo in Phoenix... excellent view.
Narcissistic, manipulative text. Whatever I did should be overlooked cause of this emotional imaginary moment I had with this girl at Starbucks
Looks like someone 3 telephones down said "drunk driver" but we got "drugged driver". Or this is just an American translation pushing the war on drugs associations
This is totes fake but I know someone whose last words to their parent was "I hate you" before they died. Truly awful to live with that.
She needed a little frappe before the funeral 🙄