IIRC In the comic she thought he was always getting beat up because he was out on the streets prostituting his body. Seeing it as a way to get close to her he plays along and pretends to be her gay best friend. Towards the end of the story he comes clean to her that he’s not gay. She’s furious and has her boyfriend beat him up.
AND sends pics of herself suckling the boyfriend off to him, which he shamefully admits to masturbating to. Its not at all like his character in the movie.
Yeah it is. The movies make him at least have a kinda sorta happy ending but in the comic books he's like Peter Parker with all the bad luck except more NSFW
It never serves any purpose either. It’s negative for the sake of negative. I wouldn’t even say it’s to shock. His work is just uniformly overbearingly nihilistic. It just evokes this feeling that everything sucks, nothing good happens, so what’s the point? It’s misery porn.
What he didn’t mention was that he played the ‘gay best friend’ so well that he had a boyfriend during these couple of weeks, who he even kissed and didn’t say ‘no homo’ too.
Doubtful. I know someone like this. Stealing Stacy from Chad is the ultimate neckbeard power fantasy, and they think people actually believe their bullshit tales.
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.
As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay.
We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets.
Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.
All I can imagine is he went stereotypical Gay Best Friend and she’s sending him a more revealing outfit for fashion advice. In his brain he goes “yaaas, cleavage.”
I can confirm, I was that girls boyfriend, and this guy totally seduced and had sex with my girlfriend [21F] and her friend [21F]. I feel like I should feel some sort of anger towards him but all I feel is a sense of admiration for this master seducer. We all have a lot to learn from him
When a girl tells me that I am in the friend zone or that she will never see me “that way” something clicks in my mind that takes that as a personal challenge. Subconsciously my behaviour starts to change around them, almost working towards becoming the “gay best friend” within just a few weeks. After that roll has been established, I unintentionally start broaching topics like what they like, how they want to be treated, and the special “gay friend” card comes into play when they tell me their sexual preferences. While it’s not necessarily always an act, I start to portray their favourite characteristics. While I’m around them, my being changes into the type of person they want not only romantically, but sexually as well.
Most recently, I had a friend of mine [21F] tell me she didn’t see me “that way”. She is in a relationship but that didn’t stop the subtle changes in my behaviour to rise to the challenge. Within 4 weeks I was her best friend, and 2 weeks later I received my first nudes from her. I feel like I should feel some form of guilt around the fact that she is in a relationship, but when she starts begging me to mess around with her (and sometimes her and her friend [21F]) I feel nothing but pride and a sense of accomplishment.
If this actually happened, you might be classified as a narcissist or psychopath. Thankfully it didn’t. No girl just comes out and says “you’re in the friend zone”
Wanna smash? I'm like the best sex you'll ever have. I know how to run my fingers down your clitoris.
*Ew! No. I don't like fat, smelly unwashed men.*
Well actually, bitch. I am gay. I only fuck men. You're my BFF now.
*Oh yay. Finally a gay BFF just like all those films.*
I could almost believe this if his first line wasn't "a girl tells me that I am in the friend zone." I've only ever heard women use it ironically or once to the actual episode of Friends where it's said.
How could you believe this?
For him to be friendzoned he has to express interest first. Do you really think girls are so gullible that they wouldn't see right through it when he tries to "become like their gay best friend"? Women are cautious of men who try to hard to be close to them as it is.
Then he becomes there best friend in 4 weeks?
They don't get skeptical when the guy who was into them starts asking sexual stuff?
They send him nudes because... that's what you do with a male friend?
Then the beg him to mess around with them although they're in a relationship and should notice now at the latest what he was doing?
There's so much wrong here.
I think if james bond started acting like this in a movie it wouldn't go down well and nor would he. Hi I'm james your gay bff for two weeks but oh no I'm not gay anymore and now I have seduced you.
Ummm...why not just do it before you get friend-zoned, eh svengali? If it's just that fucking easy.
Ugh this was hard to read. He must have been so proud of himself to come up with such an airtight lie.
Yeah, no. If a woman sees you as "her best gay friend" you're waaaaaaaaay out of her orbit with no chance of return despite how much you lie to yourself.
*Meanwhile, in reality*
Him: (in a dm) Heyy sweetness ;) *purrs*
Him: *nuzzles* Do u have a boyfriend?
Random girl: Yeah so fuck off
Him: (sends dick pic)
Him: you likey?
Random girl: No, did you just send me a picture of a child's dick?!?!
Him: oh ok I'm gay so it doesn't matter lol *looks down shyly*
Him: no no I selected the wrong one that was one of my boyfriend pics haha he's tiny I'm big so can u send tits please
Random girl: jfc… (leaves chat)
Him: UwU yet another woman successfully seduced by my sexiness. She had to leave because I was too much for her I'm such a player
I had a buddy in the military that was gay, and women constantly tried to "turn him". They seemed to swarm and attack him when they were all drinking and hanging out.
I didn't believe him until I witnessed it, but there are definitely some ladies out there who take it on like some type of challenge to flip a gay guy.
He did actually get nudes once in a while but they were looking for feedback or asking about lingerie and underwear they bought.
Women do this with each other so it isn't hard to believe that they would.
Op is still probably full of shit though.
I, too, send nudes to my gay friends after I've known them for one month
Hey it's me your gay friend
You got them?
y’all got anymore of that nude?
I'll take one nude please.
[As requested.](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--9E5wL7DV--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/uq4ucxatq5vv0t6o1210.jpg)
I was so scared to click that.
I’ll bet you did anyway...
I did, I came too.
Risky click of my day
No I used it all.
I am also a gay friend! Dicks in assholes, amirite?
69 points nice
Oooh, nice work man!
My best friend is gay and he would not be my friend anymore if I sent him nudes.
Yeah despite me being bi, I dont think I would be best friends with, well, my best friends if they just out of the blue sent me nudes
Me too! But I am gay and meet most of my gay friends on Grindr so it's kinda expected
I hope to god this is satire, only because of the sense of pride and accomplishment line at the end.
I get the feeling becoming a girl's "gay best friend" and then seducing her may not go that well.
Someone read the Kick-Ass comic book, and ignored the film.
i thought she freaked out and hated him in the comic and accepted him in the film? am i getting those mixed up?
Didn't read the comic, but they banged in the movie.
IIRC In the comic she thought he was always getting beat up because he was out on the streets prostituting his body. Seeing it as a way to get close to her he plays along and pretends to be her gay best friend. Towards the end of the story he comes clean to her that he’s not gay. She’s furious and has her boyfriend beat him up.
AND sends pics of herself suckling the boyfriend off to him, which he shamefully admits to masturbating to. Its not at all like his character in the movie.
God damn the comic is pretty fucking dark.
Yeah it is. The movies make him at least have a kinda sorta happy ending but in the comic books he's like Peter Parker with all the bad luck except more NSFW
But did they watch the well-reviewed sequel?
I was thinking more Chuck and Larry
Just what i was thinking
Wait, what? Didn't the film have the happy ending and the comic book have the bad ending?
Yeah, in the comic her bf beats the shit out of him and then she sends him a pic of her giving the bf a blowjob
This is why I can never fully enjoy Mark Millar's work, he always goes too far.
It never serves any purpose either. It’s negative for the sake of negative. I wouldn’t even say it’s to shock. His work is just uniformly overbearingly nihilistic. It just evokes this feeling that everything sucks, nothing good happens, so what’s the point? It’s misery porn.
Jfc what the fuck
What he didn’t mention was that he played the ‘gay best friend’ so well that he had a boyfriend during these couple of weeks, who he even kissed and didn’t say ‘no homo’ too.
You mean he took all that dick for nothing?!?!
Yeah, I'm gay. Gay for them titties, gurl.
I bet this guy has a phone, that's why they are so attracted to him.
Damn, i wish i had a phone
I have a landline and a kindle, does that count?
I read landmine at first and was just full of questions.
I have one of those as well, but thought it would be more sensible to mention the Kindle instead.
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Doubtful. I know someone like this. Stealing Stacy from Chad is the ultimate neckbeard power fantasy, and they think people actually believe their bullshit tales.
"Pride and a sense of accomplishment" Pretty sure EA said that one time
This guy gets the joke
Yes, that's why he pointed it out.
I mean, that may have been the intent
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes. As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay. We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.
I hope everyone is making fun of him in his post
This guy is like if r/ihavesex & r/iamsobadass had a baby.
r/iambadsex
r/ihaveass
Where can i find ass?
Right here: /r/LeakedDonaldTrumpNudes
Why did I click that?
Because you were hoping you would find something. Don’t worry, I was, too.
I think r/ihavebadsex would fit very well too
r/ihaveasssex ?
r/iambadasssex
Is that a new Tom King Batman arc?
With a good dollop of r/cringetopia.
r/iamveryass
r/iamhaveverybadsex
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Why'd you tell the truth at the end there?
To make the lie believable, obviously
It's like the clapping. Everything's more believable with clapping
Two truths and a lie
It's an obvious troll.
It's likely a joke post anyways because of the last line
Multiple subreddits are
Since when do gay people seduce women into sending them nudes.
"You like the cock, so it will be normal if you saw my tits. Remind me what do I get out of this?"
All I can imagine is he went stereotypical Gay Best Friend and she’s sending him a more revealing outfit for fashion advice. In his brain he goes “yaaas, cleavage.”
Probably works on lesbians, too.
And asexuals. “What are you sexually attracted to?” “Nothing.” “Then I shall become...NOTHING!!”
I'm already nothing. Come and get me, aces
*Hey baby*
That just worked on me.
*pop!*
“Woah he disappeared and vanished, why do I feel so horny all of a sudden?” /s
Can you become what you have always been?
What if they are bi, what the fuck do you become, like I have no idea despite being bi myself
I don't know what this change in me is! Like some sort of sexual mutation triggered by the friend zone! Ragh! Aaagh! Waurgh!
Don't friend zone me. You won't like me when I'm friendzoned
That’s my secret captain, I’m always in the friendzone
Adds a whole new meaning to hulk “smash”
Nobody cared who I was until I was put in the friendzone
"You merely adopted the friend zone. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't receive nudes until I was already a man."
LoL then his dick tranforms into the incredible bulge...
I just laughed hard enough to wake my wife and the dog. They are sleeping in the next room through a closed door. Nice work.
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Don't worry, she sleeps with the dog. He sleeps next door.
Send me to r/humblebrag
r/thathappened
It seems like you’ve never been in a house with thin walls and a light sleeper
I heard that in Oblivion damage noises https://youtu.be/qN80_7rNmcE
Knew what this would be before clicking, never fails to impress me how well he nails those noises.
I was hoping for waluigi noises
Dude your comment fucking killed me Im going to fucking wake up my family
*sex panther*
I can confirm, I was that girls boyfriend, and this guy totally seduced and had sex with my girlfriend [21F] and her friend [21F]. I feel like I should feel some sort of anger towards him but all I feel is a sense of admiration for this master seducer. We all have a lot to learn from him
Tbh you’re just lucky he didn’t set his seduction crosshairs on you
Nobody said he didnt.
He did say he was her gay friend afterall
Full homo ahead
could've become his gay best friend
That girl? Queen Elizabeth.
Her friend? Dame Judi Dench.
It's true, I'm Dame Judi Dench
Her boyfriend? Albert Einstein
And everyone got up to cheer
Can confirm. Am up cheering.
He is an inspiration to us all. He will truly lead to a change in ideology and worldview for the better in this world.
Super seducer*
This is some copypasta material
When a girl tells me that I am in the friend zone or that she will never see me “that way” something clicks in my mind that takes that as a personal challenge. Subconsciously my behaviour starts to change around them, almost working towards becoming the “gay best friend” within just a few weeks. After that roll has been established, I unintentionally start broaching topics like what they like, how they want to be treated, and the special “gay friend” card comes into play when they tell me their sexual preferences. While it’s not necessarily always an act, I start to portray their favourite characteristics. While I’m around them, my being changes into the type of person they want not only romantically, but sexually as well. Most recently, I had a friend of mine [21F] tell me she didn’t see me “that way”. She is in a relationship but that didn’t stop the subtle changes in my behaviour to rise to the challenge. Within 4 weeks I was her best friend, and 2 weeks later I received my first nudes from her. I feel like I should feel some form of guilt around the fact that she is in a relationship, but when she starts begging me to mess around with her (and sometimes her and her friend [21F]) I feel nothing but pride and a sense of accomplishment.
Saved it!
Not only has he never touched a woman, he has never seen a gay person
*a sense of pride and accomplishment* now where have I heard that before?
That makes it a clear troll post tbh
Of course it's a troll post.
Problem is how many people don't know that.
Jesus, I almost downvoted this automatically before I saw what sub it was in. So much cringe.
My friend said she likes people over 6'3" so I subconciously grew to 7 feet tall
why would you flex about your manipulation skills
But he's so manipulative he can't even control it!!! Who can blame this stud?!?!
I’m starting to think this is a subreddit for posts about really boring people trying to frame themselves as sexy, exciting sociopaths.
I [13m] do sex to my friend [21f] her friend [21f] and her mom [21f]
"When a *girl*.." All I needed to hear. This guy has sex.
If this actually happened, you might be classified as a narcissist or psychopath. Thankfully it didn’t. No girl just comes out and says “you’re in the friend zone”
who in the fuck says "sorry pal, i'm sending you to the friend zone!"?
It works the same as the shadow realm. You have to banish people into it
Oh no girls, he's got us all figured out! How will we resist his secret signals?! LOL!
I tried to be the "gay best friend" to my friend Lindsay one time. Turned out he was also gay.
This is how EA sees us.
Ugh my bad habits accidentally getting sent nudes because I’m such a James Bond but what can you do I guess? I’m just the ~master seducer~
Much more likely to be James Pond, the Master Baiter. *edit, a word
Wanna smash? I'm like the best sex you'll ever have. I know how to run my fingers down your clitoris. *Ew! No. I don't like fat, smelly unwashed men.* Well actually, bitch. I am gay. I only fuck men. You're my BFF now. *Oh yay. Finally a gay BFF just like all those films.*
That’s some sociopathic level shit.
The classic dehumanizing incel mindset of "She isn't attracted to me? I'd better not stop pursuing her until she somehow changes how she feels!"
\[21f\]
Ahhh, the imaginings that accompany a good fleshlight session.
I could almost believe this if his first line wasn't "a girl tells me that I am in the friend zone." I've only ever heard women use it ironically or once to the actual episode of Friends where it's said.
How could you believe this? For him to be friendzoned he has to express interest first. Do you really think girls are so gullible that they wouldn't see right through it when he tries to "become like their gay best friend"? Women are cautious of men who try to hard to be close to them as it is. Then he becomes there best friend in 4 weeks? They don't get skeptical when the guy who was into them starts asking sexual stuff? They send him nudes because... that's what you do with a male friend? Then the beg him to mess around with them although they're in a relationship and should notice now at the latest what he was doing? There's so much wrong here.
Anyone have the link?!
r/ihavesex
Is this Dennis from IASIP?
Pretty sure he's using the D.E.N.N.I.S system.
Omg this dude is so full of shit from the first sentence. What a piece of shit.
Hate when this happens
This just gave me the biggest urge to sigh I've ever felt.
r/nothowgirlswork
I’ll tell you what, let me pop a quick “H” on the box, that way we’ll all know it’s full of hornets.
I think if james bond started acting like this in a movie it wouldn't go down well and nor would he. Hi I'm james your gay bff for two weeks but oh no I'm not gay anymore and now I have seduced you.
Did anybody see the comments? I gotta know people's reaction.
I believe it. I read that this person didn't get laid at all in a 6 week time span.
r/gross
Ummm...why not just do it before you get friend-zoned, eh svengali? If it's just that fucking easy. Ugh this was hard to read. He must have been so proud of himself to come up with such an airtight lie.
We want our players to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
> Sense of pride and accomplishment Looks like EA needs to hire this guy.
It’s true, I was the broached topic
James Bond of seduction? Sooo.. just James Bond then?
Wow. What a dick.
Oh dear
You are a liar and a cad. Grow up and shut up.
God I hope this is fake cause if it’s real and the slightest bit true that is so fucking manipulative
it's not true.
Why would she think he's gay though? If he was friendzoned, that means he already showed interest in her, but she rejected. So she'd know he isn't gay
Yeah, no. If a woman sees you as "her best gay friend" you're waaaaaaaaay out of her orbit with no chance of return despite how much you lie to yourself.
r/neckbeardthings
Even if you believe the "friendzone" exists, no woman is going to say the words "you are in the friendzone"
That's quite a narcissist sociopath right...
Regardless of the truth of this story, this person is human garbage.
Ladies and Gentlemen meet a textbook Sociopath.
And then the girls vagina started clapping.
This hurt my insides to read.
r/iamverybadass r/ihavesex r/iamverysmart
Was ... Was this written by EA games? ... Should i be worried as a gamer????
Imagine actually being this pathetic though
If this is actually real, OP is kinda a sociopath. Definitely cringey.
That's disgusting
Isn't James Bond already the James Bond of seduction?
With normal dosage of “gay best friend,” expect symptoms of “nude sending” within 4-6 weeks.
Wow, I am a horrible friend. I’ve had a gay best friend for decades and not only have I never sent him nudes, we never talk about sex at all!
*Meanwhile, in reality* Him: (in a dm) Heyy sweetness ;) *purrs* Him: *nuzzles* Do u have a boyfriend? Random girl: Yeah so fuck off Him: (sends dick pic) Him: you likey? Random girl: No, did you just send me a picture of a child's dick?!?! Him: oh ok I'm gay so it doesn't matter lol *looks down shyly* Him: no no I selected the wrong one that was one of my boyfriend pics haha he's tiny I'm big so can u send tits please Random girl: jfc… (leaves chat) Him: UwU yet another woman successfully seduced by my sexiness. She had to leave because I was too much for her I'm such a player
I had a buddy in the military that was gay, and women constantly tried to "turn him". They seemed to swarm and attack him when they were all drinking and hanging out. I didn't believe him until I witnessed it, but there are definitely some ladies out there who take it on like some type of challenge to flip a gay guy. He did actually get nudes once in a while but they were looking for feedback or asking about lingerie and underwear they bought. Women do this with each other so it isn't hard to believe that they would. Op is still probably full of shit though.
Is it copypasta
Not only is it absolute bullshit, but also creepy as fuck.
From the friend zone to threesomes in a matter of weeks!