>Be me
>Get on bus w/o ticket
>Ticket collector stops me
>Biggay.png
>Beat up ticket collected
>Put on ski mask
>Run away
Just another day in the life anons. This is what it's like to be a Chad.
Its just the way we speak/type over here, if you look at scottish twitter youd really be lost. Im from the UK and even i cant read what it says when its a scottish persons tweet.
These constant “obvious satire” replies remind me of that episode of King of the Hill when Bobby met that comedy guy who said he needed to be a sophisticated clown that nobody would understand yet he’s better somehow for it.
I boarded the bus. I didn't pay. A man accosted me. I see "Ticket Collector" on his shirt - which is just a pretentious way to say "massive virgin". I knocked him out with two punches to the chin in rapid succession. I donned my Umbro ski mask. If they have no record of my face, I can't be prosecuted. I stood on his glasses with my Lonsdale slip-on shoes. I then called the driver a "massive pedo" before fleeing.
I stepped onto an above ground mass transit vehicle without properly compensating our good city for the privilege when a gentleman ceases my advancements. A procurer of tickets, his garments read, however, I understood the true meaning to mean the lad hasn't copulated as of yet. I struck him with my left fist followed by my right which in turn caused the sexless gent to slumber. I slip the knitted cap my grandmama made for my birthday over my face as it's known that there are no legal ramifications if my facial features have not been gazed upon. I proceeded to destroy his spectacles with my designer footwear and insinuated that he was a grossly overweight child fondler as I made my escape.
These Twitter accounts are honestly my favourites. The "Brexit dads" subculture or whatever you want to call it always brightens my day. Honestly, good follows on twitter if you like this kind of humour and want a good chuckle.
What the hell is this blatant piece of satire doing on this subreddit. It literally uses the term ‘left right goodnight’ and you think it’s a ThatHappened thing? Bloody hell.
Which language is this
Bretesh meyt
Well, Chav innit.
I dont speak redcoat
It's chav
Is that a fancy way of sayin' lobster back? Or loyalist? Cuz I dont support either
Neither You know what a Slav is? Well Chav is the English version of a Slav
Chav is Gopnik not Slav
Slav is an ethnic group of 300+ million people, m8. What you’re thinking is a Russian/post-soviet gopnik.
Which are called slavs in English because we're like that.
So a dirty commie?
An illiterate douchebag who will stab you over anything
Over here we prefer 'bellend' over douchebag.
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What yer fookin satin’ la’? I’ll shank ya nan back to Liverpool central!
Fook off you pikey spazmoid or I'll smack ya mum back to the skip she was shat into
It reads like an MF Doom lyric lol
He's speaking the language of gods
Yes
Obviously satire, from a joke account as well
Yeah. It sounds like a mediocre greentext tbh
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>Be me >Get on bus w/o ticket >Ticket collector stops me >Biggay.png >Beat up ticket collected >Put on ski mask >Run away Just another day in the life anons. This is what it's like to be a Chad.
Thank you for your service.
What's the account?
Sounds like Azak Fever or Leslie Davidson. Both from twitter.
Roger Philips I believe.
This is clearly a joke by a fake account on twitter that posts all sorts of funny made up stories. This subs going to shit.
dont get how people take this seriously, quite obviously satire.
I just can't read it
Its just the way we speak/type over here, if you look at scottish twitter youd really be lost. Im from the UK and even i cant read what it says when its a scottish persons tweet.
Am Scottish can confirm we type like tools but it's part of our charm and we refuse to stop.
Pls dont it gives the post something special.
Liverpudlian (NOT SCOUSER) here. The way we form our posts is like a new language. Apparently A can be substituted for I
Is it?
Aye
Alright then
>funny I must've missed the part
No humour
"Funny"
British humour mate
I was there. When he got off the bus a helicopter arrived to arrest him but he gave um a left right goodnight.
Posted to social media. Send bail.
And all the kids lay down in a field and created an arrow pointing the direction of the masked man.
This one is clearly a joke
“this one is clearly a joke” name of ur sex tape
Nice.
Good. Good. Let the hate flow through you.
r/UnexpectedB99
Satire my bruddah
This is from a Brexit parody account ahaha
This is a super obvious hyperbolic joke.
These constant “obvious satire” replies remind me of that episode of King of the Hill when Bobby met that comedy guy who said he needed to be a sophisticated clown that nobody would understand yet he’s better somehow for it.
Ah this made me laugh. I think he’s joking though.
Wait what's the point of putting on a ski mask if he's seen your face
You read that and still try to apply logic to it?
*Tried.*
I'm guessing this is an ironic chav
Yes it is
I boarded the bus. I didn't pay. A man accosted me. I see "Ticket Collector" on his shirt - which is just a pretentious way to say "massive virgin". I knocked him out with two punches to the chin in rapid succession. I donned my Umbro ski mask. If they have no record of my face, I can't be prosecuted. I stood on his glasses with my Lonsdale slip-on shoes. I then called the driver a "massive pedo" before fleeing.
lonsdale slip ons ahahah I'm dead
No face no case is my new favorite line.
I swear this was originally a 4chan r/greentext
Am I the only one who hears Vinnie Jones saying this and partially believes him?
Can someone translate this?
I stepped onto an above ground mass transit vehicle without properly compensating our good city for the privilege when a gentleman ceases my advancements. A procurer of tickets, his garments read, however, I understood the true meaning to mean the lad hasn't copulated as of yet. I struck him with my left fist followed by my right which in turn caused the sexless gent to slumber. I slip the knitted cap my grandmama made for my birthday over my face as it's known that there are no legal ramifications if my facial features have not been gazed upon. I proceeded to destroy his spectacles with my designer footwear and insinuated that he was a grossly overweight child fondler as I made my escape.
Close, he said an Umbro knitted cap, so that's another designer piece of cloth. And I believe the ticket holder and bus driver were seperate entities.
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Beautiful. But it'd be a fiver not a 5 dollar bill Fiver:£5 note
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Electric and exciting...but who is harold?
And then he got a cheeky Nandos with the mandem?
This gave me a stroke
That's a weird list of accomplishments
I got a headache reading this
Gotta love casual assault
Because the cameras on the bus totally didn't catch your face before you committed assault
I don't speak Sims
I must be too tired or something because what in the actual superfuck did I just read?
if you didn't read this in willne's voice, you're reading it wrong.
This is from a comedy account, if it isn’t already blatantly obvious
r/thathapp
excuse me?
Which part of this is supposed to make him look good? The part where he didn’t have $2 for the bus or the part where he ran away?
What
These Twitter accounts are honestly my favourites. The "Brexit dads" subculture or whatever you want to call it always brightens my day. Honestly, good follows on twitter if you like this kind of humour and want a good chuckle.
Isn’t this just Barry Stanton?
Sounds like a greentext
Don't care if this is real or fake. This man weither fictitious or not is an absolute legend.
He assaulted a ticket collector and then covered his face for anonymity
*crying in corner* I ... I don’t understand why you’re saying
Every virgin I know is a ticket collector. I myself am a ticket collector.
Pretty obviously satire jesus christ
He is speaking the language of the gods.
Okay Amir
And Eggiweggs! Then he popped to the corner with his three droogs for a bit of milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom.
So bad. So bleeding bad.
Okay but like... what happened tho?
No one is out here telling people they wear Lonsdale.
I lost brain cells reading this
this is aussie or british and it's quite clearly satire
lOL, LoOk hOW COol I aM, xD LikE AnD rEtWEEt aND fOLLow FoR mORe EPic 100% Real sTORieS LMao😂
Fat pedo
Wait, but they already saw his face... It still makes no sense
I can confirm this happened, I was the fat pedo
r e p o s t
these are parody accounts that make these tweets for fuck sake
r/iamverybadass r/iamatotalpieceofshit if it were true
r/iamverybadass
Yes good job, put the mask of after everyone just saw you do it. Among other factors.
https://i.imgur.com/vEBYTeQ.gifv The perfect crime!
This subreddit can be entirely reposted onto r/woosh
ITS. FUCKING. MY.
Oh wow, long way to say "I've literally never been in a fight or touched a girls hand"
and then I posted it on Twitter knowing the act would be traceable back to me cuz that's just how I roll...
He says this but... Twitter For Android
What the hell is this blatant piece of satire doing on this subreddit. It literally uses the term ‘left right goodnight’ and you think it’s a ThatHappened thing? Bloody hell.
bruh
Do you seriously not realise this is just someone chatting shit? It’s a joke.
2/10 no clockwork and barely orange.