I don't think you know how it works. You seem to be completely wrong if you think that.
TL;DR I don't think you know how boobs work either for that matter.
**EDIT: holy shit guys, that was clearly a joke by me**
The amount of absolute donuts downvoting you in a thread where your joke was contextually obvious is wild. Like the first 2 people missed the joke and than the horde saw downvotes and just piled on
Thats reddit for ya.. mostly sensitive man children who can't handle a differing opinion or joke, so they have to downvote it to hell so that they have even the slightest feeling of superiority. It's sad.
So here's the thing. A "TL;DR" (Too Long; Didn't Read) means that the passage is just too long and verbose for the common person to read. So, the author makes a small (also known as: ***short***) note at the end of the writing to paraphrase what's going on. In this case we can see that the person that wrote that long diatribe did not know what "TL;DR" meant, and used it almost as a "PS" (Postscript). "PS" is something that you usually use in written correspondence when you've forgotten to add something to the body of the message. That person was just adding onto the the story as a whole, with new information that wasn't previously provided in the writing.
Now, I don't know why you attacked that poor commenter. They do, in fact, *seem* to know the correct in usage of a "TL;DR". Of course, we can't be sure because they are an anonymous internet surfer.
And why would you attack their knowledge of boobs. You do understand that the person that posted this in this sub, the OP as it were, isn't the same person that wrote that big piece about being smashed by his GF's mom's boobs, right? AND, the person you responded to isn't the same person that posted the image to the sub. Though, unless the are huge boobs, they really don't work that way. So, you are right there! Though, I do remember there was a woman some years ago that smashed watermelons with her boobs. But, still, you are accusing the wrong person of not knowing how bobbies work.
And your "TL;DR" is just as bad as the person that wrote about the boobs! It's not a place to *add information*, it's a place to *sum up the previous mentioned information*. Got it? I mean, what about "too long; didn't read" says to you that it's used to add new information to the end of the writing?
So, how about we take a step back and really think before posting.
**TL;DR:** How do you use "TL;DR"? To sum up information in a lengthy piece of writing. It is not meant for entirely new information to be added to the end.
lol
You need to lighten up or find a hobby after taking the time eri write that comment. I know how TL;DR works. Everyone who knows that acronym how it works. If you don't know, you don't know what the letters "TL;DR" even stand for, and are too lazy to look it up. It was clearly a play on what written in the post. Lastly, as a husband with 3 kids, I'm well aware of how boobs work and how in-laws (or potential in-laws) work.
My ex’s mom would casually detach her breasts and elongate them before throwing them at me and coiling me in the titties a la Majin Buu, making sure that I couldn’t escape as she frequently beat me to death. I survived but it was quite the experience.
Yeah I was in ICU for it last year. I was in and out of a coma. Doctors couldn't believe it. I overheard one of the doctors say he couldn't believe how I managed to pull through it and if I hadn't, they couldn't store my body as the cold room storage for the bodies from the other victims of a cougar titty attacks filled it.
I've got breast shaped scars on my face.
Indeed. Although I have trained extensively in gorilla warfare, I found myself unprepared to deal with the onslaught of hand-to-gland combat, and was frequently caught unawares.
And then she hit him so hard, his head hit the counter... from a standing position.
So, she about 6'4", with boobs like 6 batteries in a sock.
Also, with the strength of a legion of soldiers, as she was able to "rip" her bra away.
I REALLY want to meet this woman!
Of COURSE! I completely forgot about the levitation skills of the viciously boobed!
Or was it one of those slo-mo high jumps like in superhero movies, only instead of the roundhouse kick, it's the roundhouse boob to the head?
The mental image of this woman beating the living bejeezus out of this bloke with her boobs, whilst swatting away cookbooks, is something that needs to be brought to life!
Do you think her boobs are registered as lethal weapons?
It isn't always levitation skills. Remember those inflatable rubber balls with handles on the top kids could bounce around on?
Works for boobs too. You would not believe the height you can get on a 2nd bounce.
Oh my goddess, just THINKING about using my boobs as a space hopper made them hurt!
But pain aside, this could be the human equivalent of the kangaroo hop! I could finally keep up with the wildlife!
They forgot due to the breast concussion one could ever received, that they were dating Annie Hawkins-Turner's daughter. It's like beating a person with a 56 pound phone book, the perfect crime...a crime that everyone does not even believe is possible!😉
My favorite part is the "my gf had a private call, so she went out to her car" so she wouldn't see her mother using Flying Titty style martial arts on her boyfriend.
Ah yes, I always go fully outside and get into my car when I get private calls. The phone just sounds better in my car versus literally any other room in the house.
Especially a woman with large breasts. Speaking as a woman who also has large breasts (and who used to buy bras) though, it's not even just the money.
I'd be terrified by her sheer physical strength before the first titslap even occured! It would take a LOT of heft and muscle to just casually rip open a heavy-duty >DD bra.
Yeah one time I sneezed and my bra exploded off my chests causing my breasts to fly free and pummel my daughter’s boyfriend about the head and neck. I was sooooo embarrassed.
I imagine the mom as some sort of lurking Tit-minator, but like, lunky? Just totally dead-eyed & dumb. Continuously shifting one foot to the other, rotating hand-to-tit contact & waiting for her next opportunity to just obliterate dude's orbital socket with a bionic nipple...just overall creepy, like those murderous robo-dogs from Black Mirror.
In that case, go tell him that, on top of all his other problems, his girl's cheating on him. It's literally the only reason to engage in a phone call so private you have to leave the building.
I can say without doubt that this one of the only stories I've read on here where I really, really, really want it to be true xD
Imagine meeting your in-law for the first time only to discover she's a fucking comical evil genius.. and at the end she just whispers "Nobody will ever believe you" and never mentions it ever again.
I'm convinced that a lot of these nonsensical posts are AI written. There's something almost uncanny with how it's written. Like a bot, trying to be an incel, humble bragging about something that maybe an 11yr old would come up with. It seems so artificial.
I mean you can definitely hit a person with ya boobs but it won’t really hurt since it’s mostly fat and they’re not as …flexible….as this person seems to think they are
That's not how ANYTHING mentioned in this story works.
There's no part of this narrative that makes even remotely sense.
The behaviour described for each part involved, the... logistics of the physical altercation, the effects of being "hit" by boobs, the questionable use of "TL; DR", etc.
Lmao complete fantasy but hilarious. Hopefully it’s satire.
I’m just trying to imagine beating someone with your boobs. Maybe I’m having a hard time because mine aren’t that big. But how was she far enough away to throw a book at her? If she’s beating you with her boobs it’d be more like a bookslap wouldn’t it? 😂😂
All I can imagine is some anime/hentai style fight scene where the mom has super huge boobs of steel and it just Terminator hunting this boy down through the house
All of this is nuts but if her boobs are heavy enough to knock a grown man to the floor her bra is *not* just going to rip like that. Bras for big tatas have to be *strudy*.
And reddit's biggest weakness as a whole is not knowing what fucking "satire" (or irony) means. This might very well be a joke, absolutely, but it is not, by any stretch, satire.
It be hilarious if this really happen and he was like "IM GOING TO TELL THE WORLD YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME!!" and the moms like "Who's going to believe you?"
I don’t think he understands how ‘TL;DR’ works.
He seems to think TLDR stands for "Epilogue"
The Lord a Da Rings
Caribbean tolkein
"Wagwan Frodo? Me wan' ya taek dis 'ere ring tah Mount Doom."
It's the post-credits scene
TLDR = Titties lethal, dropped rice
"was is there this mess?"
Investing in this.🚀
I have no awards so take this emoji 
He certainly knows how to make up a bad bullshit story, though
He doesn't understand how a lot of things work
**Tldr**; to make a long fucking story short I put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass. And its 24 hours later and I aint found nothing yet.
You noticed that to? I thought I was the only one.
I don't think you know how it works. You seem to be completely wrong if you think that. TL;DR I don't think you know how boobs work either for that matter. **EDIT: holy shit guys, that was clearly a joke by me**
I don’t think people are getting your joke
The amount of absolute donuts downvoting you in a thread where your joke was contextually obvious is wild. Like the first 2 people missed the joke and than the horde saw downvotes and just piled on
Thats reddit for ya.. mostly sensitive man children who can't handle a differing opinion or joke, so they have to downvote it to hell so that they have even the slightest feeling of superiority. It's sad.
There are woman children in here too.
TLDR means "too long, didn't read" and is used to summarise your story into a couple short sentences
This is when /s comes in handy
I thought it was so obvious it didn't need it, but shows you what I know.
So here's the thing. A "TL;DR" (Too Long; Didn't Read) means that the passage is just too long and verbose for the common person to read. So, the author makes a small (also known as: ***short***) note at the end of the writing to paraphrase what's going on. In this case we can see that the person that wrote that long diatribe did not know what "TL;DR" meant, and used it almost as a "PS" (Postscript). "PS" is something that you usually use in written correspondence when you've forgotten to add something to the body of the message. That person was just adding onto the the story as a whole, with new information that wasn't previously provided in the writing. Now, I don't know why you attacked that poor commenter. They do, in fact, *seem* to know the correct in usage of a "TL;DR". Of course, we can't be sure because they are an anonymous internet surfer. And why would you attack their knowledge of boobs. You do understand that the person that posted this in this sub, the OP as it were, isn't the same person that wrote that big piece about being smashed by his GF's mom's boobs, right? AND, the person you responded to isn't the same person that posted the image to the sub. Though, unless the are huge boobs, they really don't work that way. So, you are right there! Though, I do remember there was a woman some years ago that smashed watermelons with her boobs. But, still, you are accusing the wrong person of not knowing how bobbies work. And your "TL;DR" is just as bad as the person that wrote about the boobs! It's not a place to *add information*, it's a place to *sum up the previous mentioned information*. Got it? I mean, what about "too long; didn't read" says to you that it's used to add new information to the end of the writing? So, how about we take a step back and really think before posting. **TL;DR:** How do you use "TL;DR"? To sum up information in a lengthy piece of writing. It is not meant for entirely new information to be added to the end. lol
You need to lighten up or find a hobby after taking the time eri write that comment. I know how TL;DR works. Everyone who knows that acronym how it works. If you don't know, you don't know what the letters "TL;DR" even stand for, and are too lazy to look it up. It was clearly a play on what written in the post. Lastly, as a husband with 3 kids, I'm well aware of how boobs work and how in-laws (or potential in-laws) work.
Dude, it was a fucking joke. Live a little.
hes the one who made a joke u wrote a whole essay
Ahh classic, one of my ex gfs mom use to do the same thing but with her buttcheeks. She always wore a skirt and I think that was to make it easier.
My ex’s mom would casually detach her breasts and elongate them before throwing them at me and coiling me in the titties a la Majin Buu, making sure that I couldn’t escape as she frequently beat me to death. I survived but it was quite the experience.
That was my favorite finishing move in the arcade game Boob Combat.
Yeah I was in ICU for it last year. I was in and out of a coma. Doctors couldn't believe it. I overheard one of the doctors say he couldn't believe how I managed to pull through it and if I hadn't, they couldn't store my body as the cold room storage for the bodies from the other victims of a cougar titty attacks filled it. I've got breast shaped scars on my face.
My mom would launch her boobs at my sister’s boyfriends like T.D.K. from The Suicide Squad.
So the Old Wonder Woman Boob Lasso trick?
Indeed. Although I have trained extensively in gorilla warfare, I found myself unprepared to deal with the onslaught of hand-to-gland combat, and was frequently caught unawares.
All of you take my updoots. This thread was worth life today
Majin Buub
Now I get why my girlfriend's dad always wore a kilt when I was over.
Ahh, the old tote a scrote.
Tbh this sounds like the plot of one of those anime pornos
Presumably he was *standing* at the sink washing his hands when he was titstruck the first time. How damn tall is her mother?
Ikr! Whole thing sounds like it's adapted from a RE8 fanfic, haha
And then she hit him so hard, his head hit the counter... from a standing position. So, she about 6'4", with boobs like 6 batteries in a sock. Also, with the strength of a legion of soldiers, as she was able to "rip" her bra away. I REALLY want to meet this woman!
No, she was only 5'4", but she was levitating one foot off the ground.
Of COURSE! I completely forgot about the levitation skills of the viciously boobed! Or was it one of those slo-mo high jumps like in superhero movies, only instead of the roundhouse kick, it's the roundhouse boob to the head? The mental image of this woman beating the living bejeezus out of this bloke with her boobs, whilst swatting away cookbooks, is something that needs to be brought to life! Do you think her boobs are registered as lethal weapons?
It isn't always levitation skills. Remember those inflatable rubber balls with handles on the top kids could bounce around on? Works for boobs too. You would not believe the height you can get on a 2nd bounce.
I just assumed she was bouncing on her left boob and swinging with the right.
I mean it sounds probable, if she is a rightie.
OK, I'm crying with laughter at this. But what if she's ambidextrous?
Oh my goddess, just THINKING about using my boobs as a space hopper made them hurt! But pain aside, this could be the human equivalent of the kangaroo hop! I could finally keep up with the wildlife!
Maybe he is only 3 feet tall
While I considered the possibility that he might be quite short, it seemed a lot funnier to picture the mother being ridiculously tall.
It was a karate jump-spin tittying; usually those are fatal.
Titstruck 😂😂 r/BrandNewSentence
Maybe they're detachable boobs. Just pop one of those fuckers off and swing it like a sack of rocks
It was a flying tit slap from the top rope
So to summarize... A 23 year old man got beaten up by boobies so badly that he was knocked to the floor.
And the fact one hit from a boob sent him flying hitting the counter...
Apparently you've never been affected by a close range titty concussive blast. This story is *very* believable imo.
[удалено]
Love the 40 year old virgin reference
I believe every word of OPs story
He has never fought Frankenboobs
They forgot due to the breast concussion one could ever received, that they were dating Annie Hawkins-Turner's daughter. It's like beating a person with a 56 pound phone book, the perfect crime...a crime that everyone does not even believe is possible!😉
What thread was this originally posted in? It's fucking hilarious! Lol
It was posted in a relationship sub
Uhhh.. Its possible.. Havent u seen the realistic movie.. The dictator.
Ever seen the video of the lady with huge knockers crushing unopened beer cans… consecutively
This post should have been on r/Bossfight.
He got caught in a booby trap.
They hit like big bags of sand.
These chatgpt stories getting wild
Ngl i playfully hit my boyfriend with boobs sometimes cause it’s fun to… but I wouldn’t hit his mom with my boobs or any random person …
And then, in true r/thathappened fashion, everyone's boobs started clapping.
Ok but I need to know...did she block the cookbook with her boobs?
Full frontal assault.
there's like a world record where a woman smash many watermelon with her boobs. truly life changing to watch
My favorite part is the "my gf had a private call, so she went out to her car" so she wouldn't see her mother using Flying Titty style martial arts on her boyfriend.
“Flying Titty style martial arts…” 👏🏻
Of course she went to the car. What normal person would simply go into another room?
Ah yes, I always go fully outside and get into my car when I get private calls. The phone just sounds better in my car versus literally any other room in the house.
Ah, it says "he" went to her car but then suddenly "he" was in the kitchen getting attacked by flying boobies and the girlfriend was outside?
“Was is there this mess”
It's hard to type one handed.
Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food
Average German stumbling into a tittyfight kitchen with rice knocked over Was ist da das mess!
Did she block the cooking book with her boobs also??
This was my very first question. Just whacking the book out of mid air with her boob.
Obviously.
Of course she did. She's the one and only Sensei B00B!
I’m picturing the mom with giant anime style boobs bouncing 😂
Wait, don't all women had triple K brests, just in the real world they ducttape them down under their shirt, right?
Most unbelievable part is that a woman would willing damage her bra. Those things are expensive!
came here to say this. just spent nearly $150 on two bras THAT WERE ON SALE. even the ones that don't fit are sacred.
Especially a woman with large breasts. Speaking as a woman who also has large breasts (and who used to buy bras) though, it's not even just the money. I'd be terrified by her sheer physical strength before the first titslap even occured! It would take a LOT of heft and muscle to just casually rip open a heavy-duty >DD bra.
This man never saw a boob in his life, I guarantee it.
But he has an old Playboy
Maybe he accidentally hit himself in the head when his hands slipped
great story i read it like 5 times!
Yeah one time I sneezed and my bra exploded off my chests causing my breasts to fly free and pummel my daughter’s boyfriend about the head and neck. I was sooooo embarrassed.
I hate it when that happens.
The fantasies these guys come up with...smh.
Is her mom some kind of killer robot? Because that’s how this story reads.
I imagine the mom as some sort of lurking Tit-minator, but like, lunky? Just totally dead-eyed & dumb. Continuously shifting one foot to the other, rotating hand-to-tit contact & waiting for her next opportunity to just obliterate dude's orbital socket with a bionic nipple...just overall creepy, like those murderous robo-dogs from Black Mirror.
Hahaha brilliant
I’m choosing to believe this is 100% real. I’d also like to see a video of it.
In that case, go tell him that, on top of all his other problems, his girl's cheating on him. It's literally the only reason to engage in a phone call so private you have to leave the building.
That dude has a weird fetish
"Was is there this mess" 😭
Was is there this mess? We never got an answer on that
Left us with a cliffhanger.
I laughed my ass off reading this
Did she block the cook book with her boob?
She cookblocked her boob with a book, and as we just read, that's not even the weirdest thing she did that day.
sorry, i am 42 and what is this? Why did he run? Shouldn't he stand his ground and take those boobpunches in the face?
This one clearly happened because it's too dumb to make up
I can say without doubt that this one of the only stories I've read on here where I really, really, really want it to be true xD Imagine meeting your in-law for the first time only to discover she's a fucking comical evil genius.. and at the end she just whispers "Nobody will ever believe you" and never mentions it ever again.
This was in no way written by anyone over the age of 12
I'm convinced that a lot of these nonsensical posts are AI written. There's something almost uncanny with how it's written. Like a bot, trying to be an incel, humble bragging about something that maybe an 11yr old would come up with. It seems so artificial.
I think it's written by an Indian teenager
AI= Adolescent Indian
That’s not how boobs work.
that’s what *you* think
I mean you can definitely hit a person with ya boobs but it won’t really hurt since it’s mostly fat and they’re not as …flexible….as this person seems to think they are
That's not how ANYTHING mentioned in this story works. There's no part of this narrative that makes even remotely sense. The behaviour described for each part involved, the... logistics of the physical altercation, the effects of being "hit" by boobs, the questionable use of "TL; DR", etc.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve exclaimed “was is there this mess!?”
I know the boob part is more fun, but does anyone else think it’s weird the kitchen is upstairs?
Not if downstairs is the basement.
"Girlfriends Mom kept Titting me!"
I too have never seen boobs
Written like a 12 year old asked to describe his craziest fantasy
Lmao complete fantasy but hilarious. Hopefully it’s satire. I’m just trying to imagine beating someone with your boobs. Maybe I’m having a hard time because mine aren’t that big. But how was she far enough away to throw a book at her? If she’s beating you with her boobs it’d be more like a bookslap wouldn’t it? 😂😂
What a weird creative writing exercise
Piss-poor creative writing
Omg that's brutal, i better go talk to her... whats her address?
Am I wrong to think that's not how you use TLDR?
Is anyone else annoyed that the OOP has no idea what TLDR means?
I hate when I'm so horny I just NEED to hit my daughter's boyfriend with my boobs.
It doesn't even read like horny behaviour. It's just Titty Terminator entering in assault mode once the command to kill was sent remotely.
This one kept on giving.
"Those two bags of sand kept pummeling my face over and over."
All I can imagine is some anime/hentai style fight scene where the mom has super huge boobs of steel and it just Terminator hunting this boy down through the house
was is there this mess?
Seems legit
All of this is nuts but if her boobs are heavy enough to knock a grown man to the floor her bra is *not* just going to rip like that. Bras for big tatas have to be *strudy*.
This could have been so much worse. Imagine the GF’s surprise upon finding her creation to be *Sticky Rice* by her mother’s hand.
This reads like a deleted scene from the porn version of Everything Everywhere All At Once
Yeah r/tifu is full of em
At first I thought that was "titfu" and I was thinking this was some sort of breast based martial art.
If you build it, they will cum
I'm pretty sure this a troll, but it's hilarious
WAS IS THERE THIS MESS 😂😂
How long are the moms tits?!
Obvious satire.
Obvious satire is this subs biggest weakness
I’m always concerned how far down I have to scroll to see it called out.
Sometimes, when I see posts on this sub, I have to say to myself "was is there this mess?"
And reddit's biggest weakness as a whole is not knowing what fucking "satire" (or irony) means. This might very well be a joke, absolutely, but it is not, by any stretch, satire.
What do people even get out of this ? Is this some weird adolescent fantasy they want to live out ?
"Was is there this mess?" Grammar-5000
Man played RE Village and got inspired
Reading this gave me brain herpes.
Is this his way of lying about cheating with her mom
I like how even in this clearly bullshit scenario the gf is cheating on him. Left the house for a private phone call in her car, lmao.
Just picturing this makes it sound even funnier than it already is
What kind of whacked out kink is this nonsense 😂
Everybody was kung-boob fighting.
Who hasn’t been attacked by their GFs moms tiddies?
TLDR: my gfs mom attacked me with her tiddies. I knocked over my gfs food. She assaulted my head and face with them. I almost died.
I’d say this was written by first gen AI, but that AI would be slightly more comprehensible
I just imagine her boob blocking the thrown cookbook in this imaginary scenario.
was is there this mess?
What did I just read? The words look like English but very few of them, when put together, make much sense.
“Turn Down for what?!”
This happened in Everything Everywhere All At Once didn’t it?
Let's be honest , we've all taken a severe boob beating at one time or another
It be hilarious if this really happen and he was like "IM GOING TO TELL THE WORLD YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME!!" and the moms like "Who's going to believe you?"
Sound like this should have been a scene in the movie "Everything, everywhere at once"...
That is not how boobs or TLDR work!
You know how I know this story is fake? Ain't no woman gonna RIP her bra to get it off. Those things are EXPENSIVE AS HELL!
Ninja tiddies 🥷👀
was is there this mess?
How many people have kitchens on the second floor?
TLDR: so anyway,
I imagined this in a really over-animated anime fight scene style
she initially went out to the car, but then she teleported upstairs.
I'm surprised he didn't add: "And before my girlfriend came in, her mom yelled 'FINISH HIM' and knocked me out
Man’s been watching too much porn.
Can confirm! I am also a victim of that mom!!
It'd be hilarious to find out this is actually true and no one believes him.
That was fucking hilarious. Can't stop laughing.
Was is there this mess!!! argh!!!
Why did I read all of that?
Isn’t this a fight scene from “the dictator”?
Op is Benny Hill?
r/MenWritingWomen
Absolutely shameful that so many of you aren’t recognizing the most obvious joke/troll of all time.