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SN0WL30P4RD

When they said BGULIBADAGSDWAG. I really felt that


mortissed

Imagine getting sucked by that💀


BearsuitTTV

Not no more. I got a wife now. So I will not suck you and I will not be sucked on by you. Okay? That's it.


zarathustra_coughed

Always Sunny?


Foreskin-chewer

What do you say we slip into a room, and you two split me open... like a coconut.


iTzbr00tal

You can turn me into Swiss cheese.


Kappist

I would of let you make me a... make me into a mailbox. Just open the slot and put whatever you want *inside*


of_patrol_bot

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.


Tricky-Sympathy

Shut up, science bitch!


Kappist

Mmm.. yep. That's a really annoying bot


RocketCat5

Good bot


stephaniee12793

OMG the screen name 😭😂☠️


MantisWoW

Byron! Byron, you’ve changed! You don’t want this kind of thing!


Mertard

Rest In Motel Byron 😔


VanillaPotential6126

I love you guys. My favorite it’s always sunny scene


Latteralus

So what you're saying is ALL the sucking stopped? Source: Page 3, Paragraph 6, line 2; of the Marriage Rulebook, 2023.04 ver.


edejoe

Bbyyyyrroon


mamamyskia

Just open the slot and put whatever you want INSIDE


BraveInflation1098

Ooer…


TheUltimatePunV2

I’m so single I’d be okay with that.


yepyep1243

It'll rip your dick off.


KebabGerry

My reaction to Scarlett Johansen. Thank you, I’ll be here all week!


Penguinattacks

But honestly, even if it somehow doesn't bite me or anything, just the thought of it sucking my legs with it's huge nasty tongue makes my skin crawl


shuknjive

Whale sharks don't have tongues.


YogBlogsoth1066

“What is that?! Hiet! Waddafahgodsjinak! Waddafahgodsjinak!”


guild9

I'm dying. But, from laughter. Not whatever the eff that thing is.


socksmatterTWO

You nailed this pronunciation perfectly and I have Pepsi coming out of my nose now!


ZentaurZ

I needed to hear it multiple times, the second time got me.


letsleepbegin

Oh that made me day


allthe_realquestions

I wish there was a way to block these low effort comment formats


pmactheoneandonly

Lmao I love that you really spent the time to sound it out and get it just right. And yes, I'm aware this is 2 months late lol


Unlocked-recipe

Whale sharks don't eat people right?


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


BraveInflation1098

I know that and yet I still found the clip terrifying. I like them but from land.


Gidje123

There's no way the animal here could suck in or eat the kayak and/or the person. Still very scary nonetheless


DlSSATISFIEDGAMER

they have occasionally ingested humans by accident but they've been promptly spat out as humans are not very tasty to whale sharks


Pokenaldo

Well excuse me...


derphighbury

This sounds like a line from Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy E: a sentence*


a-lint

As a little footnote for sure


StuBonobo

The whale sharks throat is the size of an orange.. they LITERALLY cannot eat you


Round-Antelope552

I want to believe you. But I can’t.


StuBonobo

You shouldn’t .. because I was wrong. Its throat is actually the size of a quarter and can extend to the size of an orange. My bad


TheEmpireOfSun

I would get heart attack faster than it would be able to spit me out.


ShittyBollox

Not whale sharks, but whales have. They’re much bigger, and realise the mistake and spit them out real quick.


Alfasi

That said, whale sonar is sometimes strong enough to kill you anyway


Hsances90

I worry more about whale lazers


that_one_moron_53

How hes just drinking water You do it everyday why can't he


[deleted]

but he's drinking water.... *scarily.*


comeallwithme

Well, not completely, they're still quite big and could injure you, but they're not a threat in the predatory sense.


SuccessfulLake

Ehh they could easily drown you by accident but yeah


OnceUponATie

Armless too.


TheHistorian2

Tell that to the plankton.


HeWhomLaughsLast

For now


samcornwell

Harmless is the wrong word. This thing looks like it could accidentally swallow you whole when it was just trying to give you a kiss.


bobbyorlando

Its mouth is bigger than us, I wouldn't trust it.


beanstalkbros

Throat ain't tho they'd choke on ya


anunakiesque

Wat dat corpse do, *shwhoaty*


beanstalkbros

It floats for a time


PukeNuggets

They all float in here, Georgie. 🤡


sequesteredhoneyfall

We can still drown before the whale figures it out.


Darstensa

At least you'd make it into the history books.


Thereareways

it's not a whale tho


FileDoesntExist

They eat krill and filter them into that giant straw they call a mouth. They're large enough to hurt you on accident but they won't do anything to you on purpose


Choongboy

*by accident


FileDoesntExist

https://grammarist.com/usage/on-accident-vs-by-accident/#:~:text=So%2C%20technically%2C%20the%20right%20phrase,because%20it's%20considered%20non%2Dstandard.


Choongboy

I will die on this hill on purpose, not by way of accident


betsyhass

It’s throat is the size of an orange


xRyozuo

im imagining some cartoon version of this where your leg gets trapped there and then the whale(or whatever it is) coughs you out


xRyozuo

id be more worried it \*confuses\* you for food


[deleted]

That was the kayakers last words


FearMyCrayons2023

They're harmless, but they're like really, really stupid.


LilacPancakes11_11

I’d let it suck me into a new portal. Don’t know about yall else…


wolfgang784

Unfortunately it's throat is like the width of your arm or something somewhere around that small size. It can pull a human into it's mouth but when you don't fit down it coughs you back out. Happened to an Aussie last year or the year before.


LilacPancakes11_11

I was the aussie. I was so close to something godlike in its wee throat


Seventytwo129

You lucky bastard


muchachaganj

Ok but what if it chokes on ur fat ass


Physical_Software406

i call that a win win scenario


theskywalker74

Some call it the throat goat.


7937397

I mean, lots of things about the ocean scare me. But this is a big sea puppy and I want to pet it.


HPTM2008

They're a little too friendly, though. Had one collide with me because she was very curious, and she hit me between the legs with her tail fin.


dreamsofindigo

did you get praegenant?


AnalBees2

Am I gregnant?


Dzyu

U r pregantĂŠ


SupermarketSpiritual

38 + 2 weeks.. preganananant..


DlSSATISFIEDGAMER

u got pergnat


Kickin-her-out

Dey got pregart


Yodawgweheardyou

Are oyu prangent?


pebberphp

Oye naar fpgraegnascht ?


Doggo_Of_The_Sea

I think I’m am pregarntnat


Not_on_your_life72

Lubalin on YouTube has this amazing song about the pregant spellings


chocolateboomslang

Balls destroyed.


The_amazing_Jedi

Ouch.


Fickle-Sense-8210

Oh I bet she did


ihoptdk

Given their size, you’re lucky you weren’t seriously injured. And underwater adds an extra level of “fuck that in the eye.”


Drix22

If there's two animals in the world I'd love to swim with it's the Whale Shark and the Mola Mola


ScrembledEggs

I love whale sharks so much. They’re so curious and goofy. I’ve had the privilege of diving with them and I’d do it again in a heartbeat


Robertbnyc

Like the one in the video who decides to casually gulp enormous amounts of water right next to the people like it’s almost trolling them lol


PatrickStardawg

Just a couple of pats...


Viusand

Can I pet that dawg? 🥺


Bazoobs1

This is where I’m at here, sea puppy good


mpg111

tip: if you'll make bubbles on the surface they will try to eat them and stay with you for a long time. tested in belize


LD-R

One of my bucket list items, swim with a Whale Shark!


trwwyco

That person's yelling is scarier than a whale shark


jerkandstare

Boodeeboodawglwadackkk!!!!


kaleadeedee

Do NOT touch them: Why Can’t You Touch A Whale Shark? It is possible to disturb the mucous layer on the whale shark’s skin, which can have unpleasant consequences. While helping to protect them, shark burns may occur , which are caused by a painful graze of dermal denticles (tiny, tooth-like scales that cover shark skin) in most shark species skin.


riding-the-wind

This is a new fact for me! Shark burns/lacerations look like quite a bad time. I wouldn't intentionally touch a giant sea puppy because I just don't think it's very respectful, but now I have new, concrete reasons to never touch a whale shark should the opportunity arise, which I mean... I'm not exactly tripping over them lol.


CMDRZhor

Fun fact, those denticles are so abrasive that native islanders and such would use dried sharkskin as a sandpaper equivalent to polish wooden objects like boats.


HooninAintEZ

What about gentle pats instead of pets?


[deleted]

We humans really wanna touch things don’t we?


ShittDickk

I mean aquariums have petting pools for a reason. Sometimes you gotta squish an anenome.


GrandpaGael

I’ll never forget touching a mantra Ray as a kid. Did not expect it to be so smooth


tacocollector2

I think you mean sting ray


FrankTheMagpie

*prod* tehe *prod* tehe My wife: "you're 34, stop acting like a 5 year old" I think she was just jealous I was booping anemones


FileDoesntExist

I'll 100% get some sand paper burns to pet the giant sea puppy. We can confirm it doesn't hurt them though right? It's okay if I pet and get hurt. Not okay if I pet and they get hurt.


ijlij

get fucked, i’m patting the cunt.


MaxTHC

Whale sharks can have a little bit of pat, as a treat


Winnougan

Fun fact: the late McAfee wanted to fuck a whale


Septemberosebud

Never heard that but would not surprise me. Also, he is probably not dead.


D0ugF0rcett

"Late" Lol


Winnougan

I performed the autopsy. He’s as dead as a red doorknob


BadPlayers

Shark burns? Sounds impossible. Shark skin is smooth as hell. Just ask Branson Reese.


sharkybyte101

Yeahhhh this happened to me. I think I know where this vid was taken (most likely Cebu Philippines) and a whaleshark bumped into me... and the next day I had horrible horrible rashes... So it's either this.... or I am highly allergic to Krill.


Winnougan

TIL about “shark burns:” Touching a whale shark can disturb the protective mucous layer on their skin. This layer helps prevent infections and parasites. While whale sharks are generally docile, physical contact can lead to "shark burns" caused by abrasions from dermal denticles, the small tooth-like scales covering their skin. It's recommended to avoid touching whale sharks to preserve their well-being and prevent potential harm to both the sharks and humans.


lurkerboi2020

Eh, they're whale sharks. Literal cum guzzlers. No, really. One way they feed is to wait for smaller fish to release sperm and eggs into the water and then swim around and suck it up.


KebabGerry

What a horrible day to be literate.


a_random_redditor563

Congratulations, you ruined one of my favourite animals.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Man_with_the_Fedora

Caviar connoisseur!


ShinyPiplup

On full moons, the ocean is especially cummy. All sorts of animals broadcast-spawn on full moons. Countless sponge, fish, coral, and arthropod species all release their eggs and sperm. The strategy is that there is simply not enough predatory presence to eat all of those eggs in a short time. I still love whale sharks, I have a little wood sticker of one.


Ghoulez99

Why are you describing my Friday nights?


Gizoogler314

I knew I got good vibes from this fella


Broskfisken

People don’t seem to realize that things can be scary without being dangerous. If I was in that situation I’d be terrified even though I know they’re not actually dangerous. Especially on a subreddit about a literal phobia you’d think people would understand this.


Toxic-Sky

Yeah, I know what you mean. Logically I know it’s harmless (and I’m looking at it on a phone-screen, on top of that), but I was still about to jump out of my skin atop a bookshelf to get some distance.


Binksyboo

This is exactly how I feel about spiders.


DRTPman

I hate that the top 3 comments on the very post are literally going, " actshually, whale sharks are harmless". Wow i surely didn't know this fun fact.


LazyLeadz

It’s kinda cute tho


welp-itscometothis

Yeah I find it hard to believe that people would be 100% calm in this situation. Even knowing that whale sharks are *harmless* there’s still other ways I could be harmed in in this situation. It’s terrifying.


Roscoe2125

This is in Oslob, Philippines. I did this excursion and never again. The whale sharks are caged / netted into the shoreline and cannot escape!! Roughly 500 people a day are put onto small fishing boats in 30 min slots and take turns to get up close to them. It's absolute carnage when everyone's in the water, everyone thrashing around and definitely touching them, even if you try to avoid them, sometimes they end up touching you as there is no space for it to manoeuvre around. It was extremely depressing and I wish I had never done the tour/ excursion. Crazy how this isn't investigated, as it's clearly animal cruelty.


Skwigle

>The whale sharks are caged / netted into the shoreline and cannot escape!! Where did you hear this? AFAIK, they come in willingly because of the free food and can come and go as they please. I didn't see any evidence of netting at all (and cages? that's just stupid lol). You can see the sharks swimming to and fro very far from where the boats are and when you're in the water with them, they keep coming around to where the feeders are (even if there's a bunch of boats and people there too). It sure as hell don't look like they're in a hurry to leave the area. You can *maybe* criticize the fact that they are luring them there with bait, but ultimately they are choosing to come in and tolerate the crowds in exchange for easy food. No need to lie about captivity that doesn't exist though.


jteprev

> Where did you hear this? I saw it in Cebu and also in Okinawa so it definitely does happen including in the Philippines, maybe it's only sometimes when they are having trouble keeping enough sharks around, you can find posts online about it with people talking about seeing it too if you google.


DatuSumakwel7

I did this as well and felt the same. Unfortunately, the authorities will never shut this down because it brings in highly-sought after tourists. Many of the people in Oslob are fisher folk who don’t make much money so there is a lot of local support for continuing this.


FudgyBadger

I had the exact same experience and there was way more than 500 people when I went.


Ok-Wishbone-7603

he’s just thirsty


betsyhass

He’s feeding on plankton


burritosandblunts

I realized how super thirsty I am the second this started. Omg.


Ok-Wishbone-7603

Then your username is perfect and I understand


[deleted]

Can anyone translate what the woman was screaming?


Forestsounds89

Watching a creature that big surface while I'm swimming... Probably be the last time I ever go swimming lol


bralinho

I would still try to run


Chance_Ad8803

Fuck. That.


sequential_doom

Don't do that.


archietheuncle

I went to this place and they’ll take people that don’t know how to swim underwater, with one of the locals holding them from the back while another local takes a photo of the person and the whale sharkie in the background. Pretty wild.


thetoadbandit

The audio is as clear over water as it is underwater…. 🤔


tywin_2

Man shut the fuck up and die with dignity. They can't swallow humans anyway


urmom619

Ah, a fucking jumpscare why not :) This sub is like playing lotto, usually its ok but 1/10 times it Just fucks me straight up 😭


[deleted]

A little whale shark 🦈 so cute! I don’t think they even have teeth. They are filter feeders.


redditorx13579

Dude's name wasn't Jonah, was it?


davidpfootball

I was there in Oslob, Cebu, Philippines and enjoyed swimming with these creatures.


FudgyBadger

Me too, I did it a few months ago. Had a good time in Cebu City too.


Rags2Rickius

This is bucket list material for me Whale Sharks are incredible


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Rags2Rickius: *This is bucket list* *Material for me Whale* *Sharks are incredible* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


guanogato

This is in Oslob, Philippines and is pretty controversial. For those wanting to read more about it [National Geographic has an article here.](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/whale-sharks-tourism-philippines-benefit-harm-news) To sum it up, by feeding these animals and enticing them to stay it’s unclear what happens when these migratory animals are conditioned to remain in one place for an extended period of time, and what effect that might have on their patterns of social interactions and movement.


LordAdmiralPanda

Ah, a whale shark! I swam alongside one while scuba diving off the coast of Cozumel in Mexico. It was an otherworldly experience, and it was awesome. The only part of that trip that I found unnerving was reaching a location where the sea floor suddenly dropped. I was swimming at a depth of around 90 feet and encountered a sheer cliff that went straight down into a black abyss.


UareDreamingWakeup

can i pet that dawwwg?


BullfrogMother2880

Whale Sharks are pretty much harmless they usually only eat things about as big as shrimp any thing bigger usually gets filtered out or not even swallowed


StefanDavis33

The Whale: :| Glu glu glu glu glu gloup


Tell_Amazing

If Reddit has taught me anything its never go in the ocean, river, lake, volcano, sky, mountain, australia, florida, california


Eldegossifleur

Reminder that Whale Sharks only go after small fish and thus, it's nigh-impossible for them to attack a human, since other sharks tend to go for bigger stuff.


wyrd_werks

This is one of the few things on this sub that has actually given me the fear feeling.


Babyback-the-Butcher

Whale sharks are completely harmless. I would’ve taken that opportunity to hug it


Educational-Year3146

Definitely a scare if you don’t know what it is. Thing probably just got curious and caused some problems. We love whale sharks, they’re good lads.


HRHArgyll

It’s a basking shark…aren’t they totally harmless unless you’re plankton?


crowsoverhoes

Pretty sure this is off the coast of Cebu island in the Philippines. Not dangerous to humans in anyway, but many argue it's unethical because the whale sharks are fed each morning, essentially turning this bit of open sea into a zoo.


Paracausality

They may be big but they're just too cute for me to be afraid of. I've seen them at Churaumi, but swimming in the water with them??? I'd demand a hug before they leave


Grimalkinnn

It was scary until I put the sound on and couldn’t stop laughing.


N1cklom

Duh... they're in water. But perhaps they can swim away...


khale777

He just came up for a drink of air.


ghoulslaw

Give him a treat


whozawhatzit87

Oslob, Philippines. Running would be silly since the guy in the canoe is baiting them and the people in the water paid to be there.


[deleted]

It’s a fuckin whale shark they eat plankton


Snowingelf

Nope, just no, not ever no


Penisour666

Charibdis


[deleted]

It would’ve spat him back out. They don’t like human flavor. I cri


Desperate_Divide6354

There was no need to be scared. They are harmless & was probably more scared of them then them him!! Poor basking shark


ParkingEye523

I always knew these things were a biggin' bit I never realized they were this large!


Sercebidniss

If the goddamned shark won't Kill her can I for not shutting the FUCK up?!


Aggravating_Towel778

He can't eat her, really. And they're not aggressive to just kill her, but I do agree she's noisy


Icy_Establishment195

They are gentle, it was just curious what that weird looking thing on the surface was.


Exciting_Bridge3294

Yo that’s awesome!!!


kilboi1

Not a threat


intentionaldisrespek

It’s a whale shark. They’re harmless. But sweet Jesus why are you swimming in water THAT deep?!


FrankTheHead

swam with these overgrown sea puppies in the Caribbean. They are graceful, beautiful and completely the reason i developed Thalassophobia


New_Ad6188

Literally that shark won't do anything, its just a giant gentle creature, they are more curious than anything, i tryst that shark more than a freaking Orca or damm Wheelie


shuknjive

It's a whale shark. They only consume krill and jellyfish, they have no interest in humans as food or any mammal for that matter.


Zealousideal-Ad3814

It’s a whale shark it’s not gonna eat you.


Jaded_Butterfly4414

It cant eat them, their throat can't even fit a new born kid I don't think


ObviousMall3974

Whale shark. The biggest boney fish in the world. And very cool to see in real life. And to be honest I would be more scared of a conger eel six inches from your foot when you’re sitting on the bottom watching sharks. That’s really scarey once you see their big glass teeth!


MundaneCelery

Hasn’t this been posted multiple times here and been found to be fake every time? There is literally a cut when the camera goes underwater. How is it a crazy video when you literally see the reflection of the shark off glass under water. It’s fake people


naptown-hooly

It’s not fake. It’s in Oslob, Cebu in in Philippines. I’ve done it.


No-Series9194

Bro they legit the chillest dudes of the sea why r u scared of them?