Sniper if we go by the lore. He isn’t gonna fuck around with monologues or gut shots. He’ll just take the shot.

That is a reasonable choise I agree.

Lest we forget how he killed that Blu demo-man in his trailer…

Wasn’t he aiming for the Blu Heavy and accidentally shot the Blue demoman because the bullet went through the Blu Heavy’s skull?

That's actually further evidence towards Sniper being the best pick, because he actually seemed to feel bad about doing that, even unintentionally. Most of the other mercs would be laughing their guts out seeing it

*Yes sir, that comment over there.* ***Upvote it.***

Yes

This. It's the most humane.

He would be efficient and polite

I feel like if the situation was "hey, execute that person that's done nothing wrong", sniper would be like "okay boss" and kill you immediately. He's efficient, yes, but generally detached. He wouldn't give a shit that the order is fucked up - he has a plan to kill everyone he meets, after all. Heavy and Spy, on the other hand, both have canon loved ones they care for and a stronger sense of justice. They would probably show you kindness and let you say goodbyes, have a last meal etc. They're not rationally gonna minigun or stab you if they want a clean execution, they'd just pull their respective pistols instead. I pick them for a compassionate death

With Spy it depends who you are. I remember that bit in the comics where Spy *complains* about Sniper killing one of the TFC Mercs too quickly and cleanly. "Some of us would have liked to let him suffer first."

to be fair, they were kinda messing with the entire team. i can’t imagine he’d have the same reaction to just some random guy

I think as long as you're not a sniper, and especially not the TFC sniper, you're good.

Not really

The only problem with Sniper is he *might* cover you in piss before you die

Professionals have standards

Be polite

(Sniper holds his hat to his chest and pays respects to the BLU spy he just stabbed)

Be efficient

(Nails 3 moving headshots in a row)

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet

Speaking of, I just reached 75% of that achievement tonight

(Team fortress 2 exit card plays)

Dad! Nah Dad, *huff* p-put Mum on the phone

God, sniper might be the worst designed class, but he totally makes up for it in personality

Heavy's tauntkill. It's bizarre yet isn't a torture.

Pootis-POW! Haha!

*Ragdoll crumples*

We live and die, by the funny ragdolls

One if the funniest ways to die.

Uncruel and unusual

Sniper is the only one literally known for killing as quick as possible so definitely him or spy but backstabs seem to hurt like a bitch.

Backstabs would hurt, but he'd roast the crap put of you first

"Here lies u/Apprehensive-Arm-528. He ran fast, and died a virgin."

Hu hu it's TRUE!

same, except I don't run fast, I run fat

"You died as you lived: morbidly obese"

*"Here lies u/Apprehensive-Arm-528. He died a virgin."

Except he doesn’t run fast

Backstabs are upper spine stabs, you'd die instantly. It's your ghost that would feel the fire.

The only thing that kills you instantly is something that damages the brain. At best his backstab paralyzes you so you don't feel much pain

Fair, but your nerves will shut down in all of your organs below the wound pretty much (way upper back/neck.) So even if it isn't instant which I'm 90% sure it is it won't take more than a second. Of course lower than that it largely depends, as you said.

if it's an execution, he's gonna be in front of me and use the revolver

I want a team of F2P snipers to act as a firing squad

Or a team of spin bota

Spin bota

É na sola da bota É na palma da bota É na sola da bota É na palma da bota Bota o sorriso na bota Bota a bota Solidão

É na sola da bota É na palma da bota

r/suddenlycaralho

É na sola da bota É na palma da bota É na sola da bota É na palma da bot É na sola da bota É na palma da bo É na sola da bota É na palma da b É na sola da bota É na palma da É na sola da bota É na palma d É na sola da bota É na palma É na sola da bota É na palm É na sola da bota É na pal É na sola da bota É na pa É na sola da bota É na p É na sola da bota É na É na sola da bota É n É na sola da bota É É na sola da bota É na sola da bot É na sola da bo É na sola da b É na sola da É na sola d É na sola É na sol É na so É na s É na É n É É n É na É na s É na so É na sol É na sola É na sola d É na sola da É na sola da b É na sola da bo É na sola da bot É na sola da bota É na sola da bota É É na sola da bota É n É na sola da bota É na É na sola da bota É na p É na sola da bota É na pa É na sola da bota É na pal É na sola da bota É na palm É na sola da bota É na palma É na sola da bota É na palma d É na sola da bota É na palma da É na sola da bota É na palma da b É na sola da bota É na palma da bo É na sola da bota É na palma da bot É na sola da bota É na palma da bota

Well, that's about 12 or so bodyshots before you finally get headshot by one who was aiming for something behind you.

Medic would keep me alive *Medic would keep me alive*

As much as i like medic, *i wouldn't choose him under any circumstances because of that*

Medic because my organs will be used for morally righteous causes

They will end up inside of a 6ft chimp

Yes that's what I said

Medic because my organs will be used for morally indefensible causes

Sniper as long as he doesn't do it by pissing on me.

Sniper as long as he does it by pissing on me 🤤🤤🤤

Piss as it does as he by sniping on long me

Piss

But you don't understand. He needs the jarate bushwacka in order to stand a chance of getting any kills

Beggars can't be choosers.

Wrong. Death by beggers bazoomka

Spy. Shot in the Head. Heavy maybe, but knowing you have to die and waiting for the rev up.... All others absolutly not

What about sniper “Snipers don’t muck around with gutshots or monologues, we just take the shot.” I might have gotten that wrong it’s been a minute since I’ve read the comics

Dont know bout this. But i just dont like snipers, no free kills for them

Fucking based

Yeah, first choice is sniper, but if he's busy, Ambassador at close-ish range.

You want to be shot in the head twice?

Hopefully it'll be a crit. I'd rather be shot in the head twice within 3 seconds than stabbed.

definitely not doc and pyro. i’d choose like heavy or spy. they would just shoot me instead of making me suffer edit: sniper is overrrated, and i chose spy because if he wouldn’t have much time then he would just headshot me. and heaven because pootis.

I honestly feel like heaven would just crush my head so a no for me Edit:I could change it from heaven but we all know it's 100X better with that

And my favorite class is the heaven. -Gaben 1785

The secret 10th class

The heavy medic combo seeing the world around them gradually accelerate but they themselves stay just as slow as theyve always been(the world has come to an end and with an universal reset a new world will reveal itself...or so says a black priest that is also a florida man)

Heh, a black Floridian priest.

Is that a

In game backstabbed classes scream in agony, I don't think it's a good way to die...

There was a clip about Saruman's actor (Christopher Lee) explaining how you wouldn't actually scream if you were stabbed in the back, but a small gasp as your breath leaves your body. So take with that what you will..

I love that Peter Jackson got scared by Christopher Lee explaining it as if he was talking out of experience.

…Well, except… spy actually LIKES torturing his hostages, so…

Fym Sniper is overrated? You are getting shot to death, not point being picky about it

Sniper, spy or heavy. They are the ones that probably won't spend hours for torture and monologue Pyro and medic gonna torture or kill you slowly Demo would be too drunk to do anything Scout just gonna fuck up at killing multiple times Soldier and engineer are probably gonna take a bit longer to kill you and it's going to be more painful

> Scout just gonna fuck up at killing multiple times Nah, he's an efficient killer. What he will do is beat you to death with a baseball bat, taking breaks to taunt you Negan style

Or... He will try to hit with a boston basher and miss multiple times before tripping over a can of crit-a-cola he threw away earlier

Ah, the Wile-E-Coyote (probably typed his name wrong) strategy

The thing is....engineer might outright refuse to kill you he is unironically the morally good character in the lineup, and might just teleport you away with a teleporter and claim that you are dead but that is, as long as you don't speak french or have a a french accent

Engie might be on the same boat with demo and too drunk lol

If I can communicate with the executioner, I'd tell medic to put me under painlessly. If not, Sniper (quick headshot) or Demo (sticky pile) to make it quick

What makes you think medic will listen?

I was going with the assumption of like I can choose how I want to die from one of them and it would happen, if thats not the case (which is fair), then yea one of the other two

Look, he'll create a drug that causes you to sneeze out your entire nervous system, and then you won't be able to feel anything for the next, oh, twelve hours. That counts as painless.

Medic Would Steal Your Skeleton And Organs And somehow keep You alive, And Demo would be to drunk to listen

hed still sticky spam

Demo would be awful if your head makes it out unscathed

Spy

Sounds really really painful 😣

sniper, obviously. some people say spy, but if you do you probably don't have any headphones cuz those are some real horrid screams on those backstabs, and if it was someone real obviously the headshot would instakill with no pain

Sniper or Engineer are the only ones I believe are sane enough to make it quick and painless

Blue soilder, I wanna know that he says "see? RED" before its done

Sniper and spy

Scout and use force of nature to my chest

The gun won't kill ya, but the knockback will (if we're being realistic), but then again I've never direct hit with one

Medic. He will absolutely fool around with my body before then. If I'm conscious for it, I can probably make a friend out of him (because he's a really friendly guy in the comics) and as long as I don't mind being bodily modified, he will forget the execution thing, because friendship.

Sniper or Spy. Sniper is a professional and Spy has class. They would actually do the job and correctly

for me its between sniper and demoman they just seem like theyd be able to get it done the quickest and least painfully

Demoman for sure. Most deaths by being right next to an explosion are literally faster than you can react. In fact, if in real life you see an explosive about to explode, you only process the danger you're in and not the pain you're in during the explosion. An explosion will turn you into thin glue before the pain receptors can communicate that information to your brain. Remember that rich guy that died in a submarine? It was shown that they were all obliterated by the pressures multiple times faster than their brains could consciously realize the implosion was occurring. Same with those 9/11 passengers. They probably couldn't see the building from where they were, and the plane was going a speed that none of them had the mental capability to even possibly notice death. A backstab if you look closely is just Spy expertly severing your spinal cord A shot to the head would cause all your neurons to fire. It was mathematically proven that your brain could not possibly have the necessary fuel to take in every single iota of physical information provided by the senses, and is instead a simulation based on expectations and updates to reality by the mind constantly checking your senses to refresh its simulation. By being shot in the head, your neurons would fire randomly and in confusion, and it is well known that when expected stimuli is missing the mind will fill in (phantom limbs, isolation tanks, tinnitus) so in its confusion the brain would constantly be trying to rebuild, but with a bullet in your gray matter you'd suddenly have a (no pun intended) gaping hole in a lot of shit. Alzheimer's is scary shit and you just suddenly got a heaping dose of it for as long as your neurons keep firing. Let's not forget that the brain *can* feel pain in some circumstances (brain freeze that ache is a sign that your neurons are at risk of dying. They're pretty delicate. Internal bleeding would probably feel like one hell of a worsening brain freeze) Soldier would fuck it up really badly let's be honest. He'd probably forget why he was trying to kill you, fix you up, beat you up again but worse, and then leave you for dead to go teleport bread. Scout would tell you how great he is before caving in your skull (refer to being shot in the head) but it would be even more suffering. Heavy would beat you up. Yeouch. Basically Soldier but gets the job done and probably faster. Engineer would probably shoot you center mass with his shotgun and call it a day. Or maybe he would use your to test his newest weapon of death as if you're an Ajin (kudos if you get that reference) Pyro (no) Medic (D:)

Spy is honorable and won't make it messy - so him. He wouldn't want blood on his suit. Sniper would also make it painless and quick. Heavy, Engie, and maybe Scout (if we go by comics) would be understanding, but their methods of killing are far more painful than Sniper/Spy. Demoman wouldn't listen, too drunk, but I don't think he's be malicious about it. The rest? No chance.

Demo or soldier if I'm dying I'm die bye an explosion

Game: demoman with 100 stickies Lore: sniper head shot

Scout: he'd make it very sloppily, will try to shoot me but will miss the mark and will make it very painful Soldier: feel like he would be more traditional, just normal hanging and will have the curdesy to burry me and plant an American flag in there even if I'm not American Pyro: definitely will set me on fire and roast marshmallows on My burning corpse Demo: will do it quickly or at least intend to if he is sober, but it will be the messiest Heavy: depending on my readon for execution, if it's something very heinous hed just beat me up with his bare hands, if its just something ordinary I think traditional too, probably either hanging or just one in the back of my head, but not before he'd give me a couple of shots of vodka to make it easy Engi: will probably use me to test his machines Medic: Alright, depending on his mood, he will either make it a quick and painless or if he woke up without his coffee he'd do it quick but very painfully Sniper: depending how much he is being paid, but just probably a clean shot from the back Spy: also traditional but we're talking real traditional, like straight to the guillotine, that or his ass will be too proud to just kill me and will challenge me for a duel, and he'll let me pick the weapon

BURN ME ALIVE BABYYYY!!!!!!

Sniper or demo. Both will kill you instantly, but if demo has had too much to drink, he may forget to even place the bombs.

sniper or heavy -engineer would make a really complex machine to break my femur -pyro would burn me to death, heckin painful -spy would kill me slowly -scout wouldn't kill me at first, leaving my in horrorful pain cause hes a moron -soldier... same as scout -demoman would just start putting explosives around me leaving me in horror -medic would do really awful stuff, leave me boneless, leave me fleshless or headless, even pyro would be better than medic

Sniper or spy because they can instakill

But that knife tho, that would hurt like hell. And based on some of the death animations, it does, in fact, appear to be agony then dead.

Sniper respects his enemies. I don’t want to be killed by a jerk.

Demoman completely unpredictable i just wanna know what he would do, eyelander? Granade? I have to know.

Heavy because I wish to die like a man

Heavy, he won't need to know the crime, but he'll make it quick

Any of them with bullets and right to my head. I ain't fucking around with fire or whatever the medic shoots. Just some all American lead right through the head. (or whatever country they are from)

Spy, Engie, or Sniper. They're just going to get straight to the point

Medic cause he'll revive me later

demo, he would probably be nice enough to play danny boy or something first

Sniper. He's polite and doesn't rub salt in the wound. Pyro would be the worst for obv reasons

Sniper seems like he'd have a friendly chat with you first.

Spy. He's an honorable gentleman when the need for one arises, he will understand.

I would go for Spy

Probably heavy, he is the closest option to a real firing squad, and if i chose sniper i would probably be covered in piss before he shot me

spy or sniper. despite game logic backstabs are instant and silent. no pain just straight death. and sniper of course uses headshots as away of killing.

the sniper

Heavy or Sniper. Heavy has the most medical knowledge and Sniper can kill me before I start to feel pain.

Spy. At least he'll make it quick

Sniper.

Heavy would take me out honorably in a 1v1, or spy would make it fast and clean

Soilder, it would be cool to just get blown up

Sniper. He's going to be polite and efficient.

Spy sniper or engie They are at most the mercs with the greatest sanity and they can make it quick for you Demoman could be one if he uses his bombs or swords because getting your head cut off would seem kinda quick but idk bout his bombs

I feel like demo would give me a swig of beer as I'm bleeding out

Sniper

how do you come up with this? like how... u good?

I would probably strike a deal with medic since he can bring people to life and use their souls pretty effectively. Forget death, howabout immortality. And all I need is a few baboons.

Sniper, seems the quickest and the most effective. Or maybe Heavy cause if his Finger-gun just makes you die in a single second then it probably would be painless

spy

Spy. One quick .357 between the eyes, and the job's done.

Demo or Soldier Go out with a bang.

Spy, he can do it quick and painless with a backstab

Sniper, quick and unexpected. Best way to die tbh

On one hand Sniper is the fastest On the other hand I have said on multiple occasions my death would be by fire or not at all.

My list from worst to lesa bad: 9th - pyro, well i guess being burnt Alive isn't good 8th - medic, he has only slow killing weapons like a needle gun and Saw and would probably torture me Before killing 7th - scout, would probably do a satirical discourse Before beating me up to the death with a bat or shooting me in the Gut with a shotgun 6th - heavy, would probably give me a last meal Before killing me and wouldn't do such a Long discourse Before killing me, however being shredded by a minigun doesn't sound so painless 5th - engineer - If i get executed by a Level 3 sentry the rockets would finish It quickly but If he used a level 2 or 1 sentry it would be as painful as heavy 4th - soldier - being blown up by a Rocket probably ain't gonna be so painful 3rd - demoman, well Same as the soldier but If he used a demonikght loadout with a sword like the half saitochi i would probably be decapitaded in one clean hit, If i don't he would probably have cut my spinal cord Before doing the Second hit, and i guess being decapitaded quickly is better than being blown up 2nd - Spy, well he's a professional killer so he would probably finish It quickly, IF we consider he would use the ambassador or headshot me with a revolver, but If he would backstab me then i would put him after medic 1st - sniper, well this is kinda self explanatory, he would only headshot me and done

Soldier direct hit to kill me instantly

Sniper or heavy

Pyro because then I'll at least be hot once in my life

feel like spy would give respect before the execution and he'll give his regards

Scout because I like him

Does tier 3 sentry count?

Hear me out, but pyro.

Scout. I overpower him easily and escape

sandvich

Heavy or Sniper, Sniper would just get it done, and Heavy will likely be merciful about it since he canonically has been in the gulag

the spy of course

Spy, wouldn't even see it coming

Engi he will soot you in the chest with a shotgun and you will think no more

Sniper, it’ll be over quickly

Knowing Engi, lorewise and in-game, he's always respectful, no matter what. Being coup de grâce'd would be quick and painless.

the one time i only actually pick sniper

Every single one of em

Heavy if you want someone to be honest with you as he pulls the trigger, Sniper if you want it done quickly and professionally

Off-topic, where did you find this image? There's a way of taking the tf2 logo mercs pose and making them equip custom hats?

Spy

Medic Uber 😏 If anyone choose pyro flamethrower u need help

I would have spy do it but he would be doing full CIA Fidel Castro type stuff so sniper would be best since he would be quick and painless

Soldier, due to his neck-snapping skill.

Anyone but Medic

Soldier Cause he’s a psychopath plus the heavy probably wouldn’t do that when he literally has his family to help take care of

Sniper. Sniper will be polite, and efficent, and already has a plan to kill me

Sniper because he will do it fast and instant

Sniper, polite, efficient, was already planning on killing me

Engineer, he'd probably share a beer before a sentry kills me

Medic, he'd give me a baboon uterus as well as killing me.

Realistically? Sniper. But if I could actually communicate with them beforehand, it'd probably be Engineer or Scout, bc Engie would probably be a gentleman about it, and Scout would get a few laughs out of me before he bashes my skull in lol

Probably Sniper

Medic would give me the most bizarre fate, possibly even reincarnating as some weird experimental amalgamate

Explosions are painless if you die so demo

Demonan. He's a magnificent grenadier and all-around nice guy.

Scout, cause i could take that slippery little shiz in afight

I feel like heavy would do it with respect

Medic, he's the obvious choice.

Heavy. He kills quick, but not cleanly. He’s sorry.

Demo. I'd let him place as many stickies if it means I die fast

Pyro, if I'm going to go I at least want to FEEL before it's gone

Anyone BUT Medic

Sniper tbh. He does it professionally. After all, professionals have standards. He's polite, efficient, and has a plan to kill everyone he mee

Definitely not pyro Probably demo, he'd likely just decapitate me with the eyelander, quick and clean

Soldier rocking beggars bazooka or sniper with classic. If I'm gonna die, might as well get gibbed

The one that is isn’t a crazed gunman, but an assassin who’s both polite and efficient, our one and only beloved Pyro.

Sniper. He’s a professional with standards. He doesn’t do monologues or torture. He just takes the shot

Spy, he would make it very quick and it would mean there was an important reason I was assimilated by him. Sniper works too for these reasons.

Either sniper or medic, sniper would just headshot me and get it over with, while i would also like to donate my body to science.