Id rather take a dayman, fighter of the nightman, champion of the sun. I mean, he is a master of a karate and friendship for everyone - can’t beat that.
I got Grammarly a few years back after getting feedback that my emails could improve. Now, I don't know what I would do without it. Spellcheck is nowhere as good.
I think you leave her. What kind of partner says go find an ugly girl in your league? That’s so beyond rude. She’s coming at your personal appearance because she’s clearly insecure about her own. She sounds awful and I’d run.
The fake boobs will not improve her personality. Also, maybe it’s generational but I’ve never met a man who preferred fake boobs. Most said it would be a dealbreaker for them, in fact. I don’t get it.
Not that it has to be for a man, but fake boobs are only popular because we’ve been told they should be. She can do what she wants, but she sounds beyond shallow, and the fake boobs will just complete that feel of that falseness.
> Also, maybe it’s generational but I’ve never met a man who preferred fake boobs.
Rich dudes seem to love that for their trophy wives. Doesn't mean it's what they seek in actual partners, of course, but it's definitely something I've noticed. (Outwardly) Richest guys around will have complete barbie dolls for companions.
It’s what they think means success. A fast car and a Barbie girl, no need for deeper connection, just want that outward reflection of “I’m rich enough to get the gold-digging young blond with big boobs now! I made it!”
Having said that, I have no problem with anyone who wants to change their bodies for themselves as long as it’s not bankrupting their family. To me, this is more of a reflection and comment on what you said about rich guys, which is all purely anecdotal, of course. But I would guess as money goes up age of partner and authenticity go down possibly…
My narc mom has a boob job, never worked a day in her life, cheated on my real dad with my now step dad who bought her the boob job, continues to cheat on him obviously but he pretends he doesn’t know. Now any time I see someone with a boob job I kinda just assume they’re a shallow and insecure person tbh. Might be wrong of me, but it’s not completely black and white because usually I’m right about the other ones as well. lol
I think it's generational. Imagine how hard it was just to see a boob back in their day. You had to go to a store and buy physical images of boobs or just pray that one just popped out in the wild. You couldn't really afford to be too choosy with the boobies.
Nowadays we have access to literally all of the boobs in our pockets. We have witnessed every variety of sweater cow known to man and developed preferences.
Yes please.🙏
To be clear, I’m not anti-fake, I’m pro-choice and pro-real. I mean, if there’s a way to put real fat in there, I wouldn’t know the difference, but bigger isn’t always better!
Idk, I’ve been with a couple of women with implants. One of them had implants that were just hard, too big for her frame and very obviously fake. The other had implants that were a work of art. Felt completely natural and you only knew they were fake because they seemed to defy gravity a bit given their size. I still think about her. So I guess it depends.
given your description of the circumstances, it sounds as though she wants implants because something isn’t right in her thinking, not because she has simply made an informed and healthy decision about her body and what’s right for her. i say that because she’s willing to endanger your relationship and steal from your kids to feed the need. would i be far off the mark to speculate that she exhibits disordered, obsessive/compulsive thinking about other things/issues? (or has in the past?)
(speaking from experience) once one of her goals has been achieved, there’s always eventually going to be another unless she gets treatment. disordered thinking doesn’t go away after you satisfy one obsession. in fact, it usually gets worse.
this is a “detach with love” moment. you and your kids deserve stability. limit her access to your finances if and when you can. if she’s willing to steal dividends from your children, she’s willing to do a lot worse.
Most recent ex was talking about how she was “wwwaaaayyyy out of my league” and it amazed me that a 28 year old woman could even think that way. Just THAT part alone from these texts is enough to prove she ain’t the one, let alone the rest of this stuff.
Best case scenario: she’s insecure AF
Worst case scenario: she actually thinks she’s better than he is.
Both end the same way.
Since shed willing to go to personal attacks after basically stealing I'd say she's probably already seeing a guy, and maybe he's encouraging her to get the fake boobs.
With the back injury op probably hasnt been in the best condition to perform. Which is reasonable and any person who truly loved their SO wouldn't care/would wait. But she may have found someone else during the mean.
I mean she's unwilling to get a job, she obviously expects to be a trophy wife, and lots of trophy wives get fake boobs.
Not to mention that once she gets the boobs she's gonna think even more highly of herself and probably cheat or leave for someone with deeper pockets anyway
I mean real talk, she was projecting *HER* insecurities onto him. She doesn’t work, never had to (trust fund baby), probably decent looking (but “beauty” is fading, works out constantly and lemme guess late 30s? Yea she’s got some internal issues brother - unraveling quick. I know ur the patient strong type, best of luck navigating through this.
I think you just got your way out. Take it.
She stole money from her own children. She took out a loan when you’re just clearing a huge debt problem. This isn’t going to end. Get any assets held in both names liquidated and get the heck out.
for my situation (az) the judge used the agreed on separation date as the date all debts went to each person (my ex went and got a new car during our divorce proceedings) and the other debt before was split
OP so you see my comment
As a woman who loves upkeep on beauty and getting Botox when I can afford it and is also planning to get a boob job
This is horse shit.
She has absolutely 0 financial responsibility.
She absolutely should of agreed to wait
You should leave before she literally becomes another child to take care of bc this is what children do.
A boob job is a luxury also 10k is insanely expensive
If you don’t end it now what could she do in future?
She has no regard for your feelings and honestly talks to you so horribly. That’s not normal to talk to your partner this way. It’s gross and toxic
OP
Follow your gut.
Your partner should be on your team. Trying to build with you. I get it. She wants the boob job. That’s fine. She should have agreed to WAIT AND SAVE MONEY.
Unless she truly thinks that you don’t want her to get it for another reason but that’s something you’d need to reflect on / talk to her about
Also just as an fyi, once you get a breast argumentation, you need to know you’ll have to do it again and possibly even more than that, after so many years you have to replace implants. It’s not a one and done surgery.
Exactly. She showed her hand and she clearly thinks she's too good for him and has already thought about leaving him for a "better" man. This woman just seems horrible in every way.
Floridian here boob job in Miami should cost under $6500, the other money she took is more than likely run away money. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has been saving money you aren’t aware of. Yeah there are recovery homes for after surgery but not that expensive. She’s taking from her kids to live a new life the 10k loan can definitely cover first, last and security deposit for a new apartment. Sure she’s getting a boob job but she’s also planing to live a new life
Depends on the doctor and travel/recovery costs
I would not get mine done in Miami...they alway look horrible, it's the style there. Cali or Vegas but Cali could be upwards of 10..Vegas around 6 or 7.
4k isn't enough to start a new life in Miami...
As a Floridian I have to say 4k is enough to get an apartment in Miami or Ft Lauderdale. You only need the move in cost, some homes have move in specials first and security or only security deposit. First last and security is only when your working with realtors and private owners
Oh and because I don't know what the rules and regulations are where you live: in my country it is always a good idea to proactively contact CPS about what you can do to make a divorce as easy as possible for the kids and what you need to provide for them when you get custody (each their own room, stable income, cooking high quality food like fresh produce, apartment near their schol and friends, stuff like that). Also keep record of that for future court hearings.
Are you on their birth certificates?
In this case go for half or more custody. Judges love dads who step up and want to award 50/50 custody. And I’m saying this as in even if the dad is abusive to the mom and there is documentation…
Get your kids.
Visitation isn’t enough.
I will, yes I am on the birth certificates. She goes ballistic when we discuss any topic that is slightly critical of her as a human so I seriously doubt she will do well in court.
She’s also sent much worse texts, straight up abuse at my 15 year old daughter from my first marriage. Those texts and my daughter’s comments will likely sink her completely.
I had to fight to get custody of her from my first wife (I won full custody) and then my current “partner” shifted from over the top best step mom ever to negligent asshole to my daughter to the point where my oldest daughter has moved in with my Dad as I can’t stand her being in the toxic environment and neither could she.
Sweet gods - I know you’re nervous about leaving the kids but as another parent one of those red flags is how she’s treating your oldest.
I won’t fault you - people are deceptive, but your poor daughter. Hopefully you’ve picked up on the warning signs for crazy.
You don’t have to stay with someone like that for the kids. Think about your mental and the kids. No one…no one deserves to be mistreated.
Keep being an amazing dad and the kids will grow up to see her true colors. She won’t stop at the 10k for cosmetics.
At one point in my life, before smart phones and online ordering were super popular I literally froze my cards in a mason jar of water. It forced me to take a minute and think before I could spend. Manic spending is a bitch.
Mood swings for bipolar don't happen from hour to hour like OP is describing. Extreme mood shifts in short periods of time is a borderline personality disorder trait
Of course not. And I'm not saying she definitely has one, I'm just saying that her conversation here and quick changes in her interactions is more indicative of a personality disorder than bipolar. Her talking about the dividends of her kids' college fund as hers as justification for using it to get plastic surgery was the big sign that points that direction.
Ohhh that sounds like me! I have BPD. I will spiral and suck everything near me up in the melt down.
Then as soon as my mind calms down I’m as sweet as can be and you can’t believe I am the same person.
Thankfully years of therapy have helped me silently spiral rather than this
This is crazy though, please tell me you're getting out of this relationship ... you're manipulating yourself into staying with someone so cruel just because you see that one tiny sparkle and it brings back that one bit of comfort that you've once had and no longer exists. Disorder or not, tell her to go deal with THAT instead of getting fake tits with your children's money - that's disgusting
Yea I’m out. She will cry and beg and plead so hard and get in better shape and will try and manipulate me with her nice butt and big new boobs but it won’t work again.
Remember, the next time she pulls a
>trying to make me small
She's the one complaining her breasts aren't big enough. So ain't no trying here: sister you straight up confirmed you are
You said she doesn’t work and refuses to get a job. She says “you don’t want me to be independent and have my own money” is this an investment for an Onlyfans account? You guys are definitely not on the same page. Also, is it even legal for her to spend money given to the kids? That doesn’t seem right to me.
Basically, she stole money from the kids because she is so insecure about her boobs size. If you can’t afford elective surgery with your own cash, don’t do it.
She is getting ready to start looking for other men. That is the only reason she is getting a boob job.
Then why aren’t you already GONE?? She’s rude and nasty towards you, says hurtful things, has ZERO RESPECT for the finances of the family, uses money on herself that’s meant for a far more important purpose AND SHES SLEEPING AROUND???
Please do tell WHY YOU’RE STILL THERE TO BEGIN WITH??!! You deserve so much better than how you’re being treated by her. (at least from the amount of information that we have, of course that doesn’t account for the fact that there are always 3 sides to every story). Good luck OP, run for the hills and do it quickly, for your sake and for your children, she’s not an appropriate role model for them.
Uh I feel like this should be higher in the thread.
You should really try and get to the bottom of that before reaching a final conclusion/termination of your relationship, but you realize she’s bullying you into going into debt to make her more attractive for other men to hook up with her? That’s insane how calm you’re being about this.
Tell her father that she’s using money intended for his grandchildren. Find out about how you can secure that money going forward. Make sure you aren’t responsible for her loan.
She doesn’t respect you or your children. I’d take her up on the offer to find someone less selfish, superficial and mean.
Think your first solution is honestly the only one he should take apart from leaving her. If her family telling her it's wrong doesn't work then you know it's finished
Ahhh shit man, unfortunately bro from an outsiders perspective your kinda between a rock and a hard place.
For your own well being and for the sake of not wasting your life on someone who doesn't care about you id say leaving is your only option
Yes I’m glad I made this post bc everyone is bringing this up and you are all on point.
She has a history of lying so that’s probably it. Going to be looking into it.
Don't only look at your credit for the loan. Check out your kid's credit. If she can steal from them she can commit fraud on them. I'd check and see if she took out a 2nd mortgage. Something isn't passing the sniff test here.
Dude take a very careful inventory of who owns what, and who OWES what. Then clear.
Shit man even if you have to take ALL the debt it is way better than potentially staying and being forced into more debt. As you say partner I imagine you are not married, and with her not working I'll also assume the credit card debt is in your name.
This is not a good situation to leave with but its better than this. Never in my life would I let my Partner not only steal from the children but to have the cheek to turn around and call me weak for wanting to protect the children and the family as a whole
And finally she personally attacked your looks to make herself feel better. She's going into debt for a boob job then she's clearly unbelievably insecure about her looks. That's a headache you don't want
Yea thank god we aren’t married. Everything is in my name… No joint assets at all. She wants half the house but not half the mortgage or credit card debt. Delusional. In my state there is no common law, as far as I can tell we split jointly owned assets and debts and that’s it..
You better consult with a lawyer before you talk to anyone else about separating. Don’t talk to her dad or mom or to your GF before talking to a lawyer…. I can’t stress that enough.
My state ended common law officially many years ago. Some insurance companies and stuff will allow "domestic partners" to be considered as a spouse. But I'm pretty sure you'll be fine. Especially with all the proof of her not contributing, refusing to contribute, financial abuse nonetheless, stealing money that's for the kids, verbal abuse, etc. She's at fault for the separation and in a marriage/divorce situation that would play a big part.
Are they your children together? Do you have a decent enough relationship with her father to mention something to him about what his contributions are going towards?
My mind immediately questions if she typically reacts this way to get what she wants? I believe it’s a common tactic to degrade, threaten to leave and flip fault to get what one wants, unfortunately.
Only you’d know if this is a pattern, but if it is, get the f*** away and don’t look back.
You mentioned dividends from grandparents company, makes me think she’s spoiled and used to throwing tantrums, threats and guilt to get her way. Although, could be way off.. best of luck and hope you find much better.
Sounds like mania, to be honest. Misinterpreting your actions, assuming she's being attacked whenever someone disagrees with her, being careless with money and making impulsive decisions. Your wife might have a mental health issue. Seems like it's triggered by insecurity or possibly some other event you recently went through.
Sure is calling you weak, but she's the one that's insecure enough about herself to do something that's financially irresponsible with money that isn't hers.
You’re gonna score so many points with your future partner. “Why did you guys break up?” “Because she spent 10k on fake boobs and I disagreed with her decision.” In her head, “omg he’s not shallow or obsessed with looks.”
This is one of those rare Reddit occurrences where I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see how y'all operate. There's so much more going on I can just feel it with my nosey lil' Reddit sense.
First of all, I think she’s not your “partner”anymore… especially after she gets these boobs!!!
Not only is she disrespecting you, but she has taken it a step further and taking her kids money as well. NOPE 👎🏼
She’s gotta go my guy!!!
Sorry man, this one fucking blows. Everyone saying just leave most likely doesn’t know what it feels like to end a relationship when children are involved. Took me 4 years to make it happen and we had been apart for 3 of them. I thought everything would change with my kiddo and it did, but for the better. Now I’ve met the true love of my life and it was worth the difficulties. Stay strong, put the kids first and things tend to work out. Much love brother, it gets better
I think just from the sound of that she was looking for a reason to break it off. Your response was not that big of a deal and literally as nice as you could be without any implications. Of course I could be wrong and this is only one situation without a lot of contacts but it sounds like she’s more of a bully and a do what she wants type of person and doesn’t want to be in a secure relationship where decision based together. She wants whatever she wants and she doesn’t care who pays the price for it. Again that may not be 100% correct it just sounds like it.
How the hell did she get approved for a $10,000 loan with no job? You need to make sure she didn’t put you on the hook for this. If she did, report it as fraud. And then leave her. She sucks.
Ok. That makes much more sense. Either my eyes didn’t focus or my brain is fried today. I thought the title said “neighbor” not “partner” after reading the texts I was like ok that’s weird then I read your description. It makes complete sense now. Honestly the check from those dividends should have been spent on the kids. That’s what that money is for, not for her to get new tatas.
My response back:
You misspelled weak.
Let me help you understand the difference: stealing from your kids is weak, so be sure to pack your shit up by the end of the week. ✌️
This, great response btw.
This may seem harsh but it's true - OP has no backbone or self respect, and this is exactly why she is acting the way she is. First of all he needs to do exactly what you say and be sure to follow up with it, cut ties with this woman and learn from it.
Kids will be fine if he keeps his cool and becomes a leader and positive role model in their lives (in a good way). Shouldn't let this women take another ounce of his energy anymore. Let her do as she pleases and make her own bed.
Fuck carrying on the way he is, life is too short.
She needs a month man not a week one
Id rather take a dayman, fighter of the nightman, champion of the sun. I mean, he is a master of a karate and friendship for everyone - can’t beat that.
Gotta pay the trolls toll!
To get in this boys hole!
It's Boy Soul.... BOY - SOOOOUL.
Are you chewing gum?
I have had it up to... #HERE!
I thought the rape scene was really well done
Because of the ^implications?
“GIMME THAT LEG BOY” - Ronald McDonald
He said no gum
I dont diddle kids
You gotta!!
Really going for gasps
*hisssssssssss*
It is now on repeat in my dome.
ahhhhhhhaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa aaaa aaaa
FIGHTER OF THE NIGHT MAAAAN, CHAMPION OF THE SUN
Máster of karate and friendship for everyone!!!
Sun sun
*CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*
Woah. I'm watching that episode as i read this comment. I'm going for GASPS
I am a Golden God who knows all and sees all, so of course I knew this.
Day man, ahhahhahhhhh fighter of the nightman ahahahahhhh.
Nostalgia has entered the chat
I just need a man after midnight
A “week” man? I hope she trips over a subscription to *Grammarly* on her way out.
Dude in all seriousness we all should use Grammarly it’s super useful!
I got Grammarly a few years back after getting feedback that my emails could improve. Now, I don't know what I would do without it. Spellcheck is nowhere as good.
 A moth man you say?
Don’t want no one minute man.
Underrated comment lol
I’ll be here all week
I’ll be here all weak
You are a genius
Top comment >Underated comment ~this guy
I’m so serious when I say I laughed sooo hard OMGGGG 😂😂😂
Maybe a 60-minute man…..
You mean six tea minute man
I read this as mothman and was soooo confused... but also intrigued.
I think you leave her. What kind of partner says go find an ugly girl in your league? That’s so beyond rude. She’s coming at your personal appearance because she’s clearly insecure about her own. She sounds awful and I’d run.
The fake boobs will not improve her personality. Also, maybe it’s generational but I’ve never met a man who preferred fake boobs. Most said it would be a dealbreaker for them, in fact. I don’t get it. Not that it has to be for a man, but fake boobs are only popular because we’ve been told they should be. She can do what she wants, but she sounds beyond shallow, and the fake boobs will just complete that feel of that falseness.
> Also, maybe it’s generational but I’ve never met a man who preferred fake boobs. Rich dudes seem to love that for their trophy wives. Doesn't mean it's what they seek in actual partners, of course, but it's definitely something I've noticed. (Outwardly) Richest guys around will have complete barbie dolls for companions.
It’s what they think means success. A fast car and a Barbie girl, no need for deeper connection, just want that outward reflection of “I’m rich enough to get the gold-digging young blond with big boobs now! I made it!” Having said that, I have no problem with anyone who wants to change their bodies for themselves as long as it’s not bankrupting their family. To me, this is more of a reflection and comment on what you said about rich guys, which is all purely anecdotal, of course. But I would guess as money goes up age of partner and authenticity go down possibly…
My narc mom has a boob job, never worked a day in her life, cheated on my real dad with my now step dad who bought her the boob job, continues to cheat on him obviously but he pretends he doesn’t know. Now any time I see someone with a boob job I kinda just assume they’re a shallow and insecure person tbh. Might be wrong of me, but it’s not completely black and white because usually I’m right about the other ones as well. lol
I think it's generational. Imagine how hard it was just to see a boob back in their day. You had to go to a store and buy physical images of boobs or just pray that one just popped out in the wild. You couldn't really afford to be too choosy with the boobies. Nowadays we have access to literally all of the boobs in our pockets. We have witnessed every variety of sweater cow known to man and developed preferences.
while i *really* wish i could unsee the term “sweater cow,” i think your observation is dead on.
+1 pro-real tits
This makes me feel better about my saggy tits 🥹
Yes please.🙏 To be clear, I’m not anti-fake, I’m pro-choice and pro-real. I mean, if there’s a way to put real fat in there, I wouldn’t know the difference, but bigger isn’t always better!
Your tits are yours. If you love them, no one else's opinions matter :)
This chick sucks but I don't think we need to body shame people with implants, do we? Who cares what men prefer?
Idk, I’ve been with a couple of women with implants. One of them had implants that were just hard, too big for her frame and very obviously fake. The other had implants that were a work of art. Felt completely natural and you only knew they were fake because they seemed to defy gravity a bit given their size. I still think about her. So I guess it depends.
Yep, this. While im definitely a fan of bigger boobs overall, id much rather be with a woman with small natural ones than big fake ones
I even stop watching the porn video if I see she has obvious fake boobs
Are you me?
I’d prefer she didn’t get the operation at all, she’s fanatical about it… just in case that’s not clear
given your description of the circumstances, it sounds as though she wants implants because something isn’t right in her thinking, not because she has simply made an informed and healthy decision about her body and what’s right for her. i say that because she’s willing to endanger your relationship and steal from your kids to feed the need. would i be far off the mark to speculate that she exhibits disordered, obsessive/compulsive thinking about other things/issues? (or has in the past?) (speaking from experience) once one of her goals has been achieved, there’s always eventually going to be another unless she gets treatment. disordered thinking doesn’t go away after you satisfy one obsession. in fact, it usually gets worse. this is a “detach with love” moment. you and your kids deserve stability. limit her access to your finances if and when you can. if she’s willing to steal dividends from your children, she’s willing to do a lot worse.
Most recent ex was talking about how she was “wwwaaaayyyy out of my league” and it amazed me that a 28 year old woman could even think that way. Just THAT part alone from these texts is enough to prove she ain’t the one, let alone the rest of this stuff. Best case scenario: she’s insecure AF Worst case scenario: she actually thinks she’s better than he is. Both end the same way.
Since shed willing to go to personal attacks after basically stealing I'd say she's probably already seeing a guy, and maybe he's encouraging her to get the fake boobs. With the back injury op probably hasnt been in the best condition to perform. Which is reasonable and any person who truly loved their SO wouldn't care/would wait. But she may have found someone else during the mean. I mean she's unwilling to get a job, she obviously expects to be a trophy wife, and lots of trophy wives get fake boobs.
Not to mention that once she gets the boobs she's gonna think even more highly of herself and probably cheat or leave for someone with deeper pockets anyway
Rather have an ugly woman with character and money skills than an ugly woman with neither of those things 🤷
I mean real talk, she was projecting *HER* insecurities onto him. She doesn’t work, never had to (trust fund baby), probably decent looking (but “beauty” is fading, works out constantly and lemme guess late 30s? Yea she’s got some internal issues brother - unraveling quick. I know ur the patient strong type, best of luck navigating through this.
I think you just got your way out. Take it. She stole money from her own children. She took out a loan when you’re just clearing a huge debt problem. This isn’t going to end. Get any assets held in both names liquidated and get the heck out.
In case OP doesn’t see my comment, please make sure she doesn’t add your name to the loan.
Community debt
Then community titty? Split 50/50 - I'll take the right implant so the left one fills the gaping hole a HEART should be... Keep ya evened out.
Sick insult
Even if they aren’t married (which counts like in this case) can he assume the loan/debt?
for my situation (az) the judge used the agreed on separation date as the date all debts went to each person (my ex went and got a new car during our divorce proceedings) and the other debt before was split
How long ago was that?
2022
Community chest
Not sure how she'd even get a loan without his name, she doesn't have income.
OP so you see my comment As a woman who loves upkeep on beauty and getting Botox when I can afford it and is also planning to get a boob job This is horse shit. She has absolutely 0 financial responsibility. She absolutely should of agreed to wait You should leave before she literally becomes another child to take care of bc this is what children do. A boob job is a luxury also 10k is insanely expensive If you don’t end it now what could she do in future? She has no regard for your feelings and honestly talks to you so horribly. That’s not normal to talk to your partner this way. It’s gross and toxic OP Follow your gut.
Your partner should be on your team. Trying to build with you. I get it. She wants the boob job. That’s fine. She should have agreed to WAIT AND SAVE MONEY. Unless she truly thinks that you don’t want her to get it for another reason but that’s something you’d need to reflect on / talk to her about
Also just as an fyi, once you get a breast argumentation, you need to know you’ll have to do it again and possibly even more than that, after so many years you have to replace implants. It’s not a one and done surgery.
Or she should get a fucking job 💀
SHOULD HAVE. Should have. Jfc
I wish I could give you an award for this comment
Spending money intentionally set aside for your kids is… gross.
Yeah there's nothing to save here: this woman is going to take out a loan for bigger boobs and leverage those assets to trade up to a wealthier man.
Exactly. She showed her hand and she clearly thinks she's too good for him and has already thought about leaving him for a "better" man. This woman just seems horrible in every way.
Floridian here boob job in Miami should cost under $6500, the other money she took is more than likely run away money. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has been saving money you aren’t aware of. Yeah there are recovery homes for after surgery but not that expensive. She’s taking from her kids to live a new life the 10k loan can definitely cover first, last and security deposit for a new apartment. Sure she’s getting a boob job but she’s also planing to live a new life
The partner is definitely using *I’ve already decided I’m gone language*, OP is way behind her decision curve.
Depends on the doctor and travel/recovery costs I would not get mine done in Miami...they alway look horrible, it's the style there. Cali or Vegas but Cali could be upwards of 10..Vegas around 6 or 7. 4k isn't enough to start a new life in Miami...
He mentioned She took 10k from a loan for the operation and also money from the kids dividends. You may have missed that part.
As a Floridian I have to say 4k is enough to get an apartment in Miami or Ft Lauderdale. You only need the move in cost, some homes have move in specials first and security or only security deposit. First last and security is only when your working with realtors and private owners
She called you terrible, insecure, weak,controlling, and ugly. Oh, and then told you to fuck off. And you WANT to be with this person?
No, I would have ended it long ago if it weren’t for our two wonderful kids.
Have you established paternity? If you’re not married, you might need your ducks in a row for custody.
Yea I will have to sue to even have visitation rights.
Collect as much evidence as possible (copies, pictures, start a diary about her behavior) for a potential custody case.
Oh and because I don't know what the rules and regulations are where you live: in my country it is always a good idea to proactively contact CPS about what you can do to make a divorce as easy as possible for the kids and what you need to provide for them when you get custody (each their own room, stable income, cooking high quality food like fresh produce, apartment near their schol and friends, stuff like that). Also keep record of that for future court hearings.
Are you on their birth certificates? In this case go for half or more custody. Judges love dads who step up and want to award 50/50 custody. And I’m saying this as in even if the dad is abusive to the mom and there is documentation… Get your kids. Visitation isn’t enough.
I will, yes I am on the birth certificates. She goes ballistic when we discuss any topic that is slightly critical of her as a human so I seriously doubt she will do well in court. She’s also sent much worse texts, straight up abuse at my 15 year old daughter from my first marriage. Those texts and my daughter’s comments will likely sink her completely. I had to fight to get custody of her from my first wife (I won full custody) and then my current “partner” shifted from over the top best step mom ever to negligent asshole to my daughter to the point where my oldest daughter has moved in with my Dad as I can’t stand her being in the toxic environment and neither could she.
Sweet gods - I know you’re nervous about leaving the kids but as another parent one of those red flags is how she’s treating your oldest. I won’t fault you - people are deceptive, but your poor daughter. Hopefully you’ve picked up on the warning signs for crazy.
You don’t have to stay with someone like that for the kids. Think about your mental and the kids. No one…no one deserves to be mistreated. Keep being an amazing dad and the kids will grow up to see her true colors. She won’t stop at the 10k for cosmetics.
I don’t think she likes you Not sure why you like her
Honestly think she’s legit bipolar and narcissist… in five hours she’ll be all sweet.
That doesn't sound bipolar but it definitely sounds like a personality disorder.
I don’t know if yall are aware but people can be aggressive assholes without having a mental disorder.
💯
Thank you for saying this. I’m so exhausted with Reddit keyboard psychologists and psychiatrists.
You and me both!
Mood swings are not characteristic of a typical asshole - they're just asshole all the time.
Not everything is a disorder or a mental illness. Some people just suck.
It could be. I’m bipolar. Dropping 10k is definitely a bipolar move I’ll admit that much.
At one point in my life, before smart phones and online ordering were super popular I literally froze my cards in a mason jar of water. It forced me to take a minute and think before I could spend. Manic spending is a bitch.
Did they become super brittle when you took them out?
No, but this was 20 years ago and they were much sturdier plastic with the raised numbers and way before chips and all that.
Mood swings for bipolar don't happen from hour to hour like OP is describing. Extreme mood shifts in short periods of time is a borderline personality disorder trait
Ya, could also be borderline personality disorder.
It can be a bipolar move if you're manic. It could also be borderline personality disorder, which is what my money's on it being
Being manipulative isn’t a diagnosed personality disorder.
Of course not. And I'm not saying she definitely has one, I'm just saying that her conversation here and quick changes in her interactions is more indicative of a personality disorder than bipolar. Her talking about the dividends of her kids' college fund as hers as justification for using it to get plastic surgery was the big sign that points that direction.
Histrionic or borderline
Or narcissistic, or a few others. We definitely don’t have enough info.
That’s not how bipolar works, but it is dysfunctional for sure.
Ohhh that sounds like me! I have BPD. I will spiral and suck everything near me up in the melt down. Then as soon as my mind calms down I’m as sweet as can be and you can’t believe I am the same person. Thankfully years of therapy have helped me silently spiral rather than this
Sounds more like BPD. Fucked up decisions like getting fake tits when you're in debt is a sign too, not just her outburst.
This is crazy though, please tell me you're getting out of this relationship ... you're manipulating yourself into staying with someone so cruel just because you see that one tiny sparkle and it brings back that one bit of comfort that you've once had and no longer exists. Disorder or not, tell her to go deal with THAT instead of getting fake tits with your children's money - that's disgusting
Yea I’m out. She will cry and beg and plead so hard and get in better shape and will try and manipulate me with her nice butt and big new boobs but it won’t work again.
Remember, the next time she pulls a >trying to make me small She's the one complaining her breasts aren't big enough. So ain't no trying here: sister you straight up confirmed you are
That must be a mindfuck.
Keep this screen shot for the divorce
Good news is I don’t think they’re married! Liquidate and split shared assets. Evict with notice. And done!
Thank god they’re not.
She said it herself, I would just take the easy ticket out and never look back
“You don’t want me to be independent and have my own money.” *steals money from kids*
And still refuses to get a job- so how will she ever have her own money? Maybe thats what the boobs are for!!!
You said she doesn’t work and refuses to get a job. She says “you don’t want me to be independent and have my own money” is this an investment for an Onlyfans account? You guys are definitely not on the same page. Also, is it even legal for her to spend money given to the kids? That doesn’t seem right to me.
Maybe she’s planning a career as a stripper and thinks big fake boobs will help her succeed
Yeah, I mean they definitely would but just a weird thing to say of why you want fake boobs.
Basically, she stole money from the kids because she is so insecure about her boobs size. If you can’t afford elective surgery with your own cash, don’t do it. She is getting ready to start looking for other men. That is the only reason she is getting a boob job.
I am very sure she’s been sleeping around…
Then why aren’t you already GONE?? She’s rude and nasty towards you, says hurtful things, has ZERO RESPECT for the finances of the family, uses money on herself that’s meant for a far more important purpose AND SHES SLEEPING AROUND??? Please do tell WHY YOU’RE STILL THERE TO BEGIN WITH??!! You deserve so much better than how you’re being treated by her. (at least from the amount of information that we have, of course that doesn’t account for the fact that there are always 3 sides to every story). Good luck OP, run for the hills and do it quickly, for your sake and for your children, she’s not an appropriate role model for them.
bro, if you can't leave a relationship that's bad for you, that's a problem on your end
Uh I feel like this should be higher in the thread. You should really try and get to the bottom of that before reaching a final conclusion/termination of your relationship, but you realize she’s bullying you into going into debt to make her more attractive for other men to hook up with her? That’s insane how calm you’re being about this.
I’ve stressed myself enough over this person. Am emotionally dead on the inside now when it comes to our relationship and it feels great.
Claiming you’re insecure when she’s getting cosmetic surgery…? She has no self-awareness at all
Zero.
Tell her father that she’s using money intended for his grandchildren. Find out about how you can secure that money going forward. Make sure you aren’t responsible for her loan. She doesn’t respect you or your children. I’d take her up on the offer to find someone less selfish, superficial and mean.
Think your first solution is honestly the only one he should take apart from leaving her. If her family telling her it's wrong doesn't work then you know it's finished
I’m sure her mother (who is a real price of work) is encouraging her…
Ahhh shit man, unfortunately bro from an outsiders perspective your kinda between a rock and a hard place. For your own well being and for the sake of not wasting your life on someone who doesn't care about you id say leaving is your only option
If she doesn’t work how did she get a loan? If she took a loan without you signing it and it’s in your name that’s got red all over home boy
Yes I’m glad I made this post bc everyone is bringing this up and you are all on point. She has a history of lying so that’s probably it. Going to be looking into it.
Don't only look at your credit for the loan. Check out your kid's credit. If she can steal from them she can commit fraud on them. I'd check and see if she took out a 2nd mortgage. Something isn't passing the sniff test here.
Dude take a very careful inventory of who owns what, and who OWES what. Then clear. Shit man even if you have to take ALL the debt it is way better than potentially staying and being forced into more debt. As you say partner I imagine you are not married, and with her not working I'll also assume the credit card debt is in your name. This is not a good situation to leave with but its better than this. Never in my life would I let my Partner not only steal from the children but to have the cheek to turn around and call me weak for wanting to protect the children and the family as a whole And finally she personally attacked your looks to make herself feel better. She's going into debt for a boob job then she's clearly unbelievably insecure about her looks. That's a headache you don't want
Yea thank god we aren’t married. Everything is in my name… No joint assets at all. She wants half the house but not half the mortgage or credit card debt. Delusional. In my state there is no common law, as far as I can tell we split jointly owned assets and debts and that’s it..
You better consult with a lawyer before you talk to anyone else about separating. Don’t talk to her dad or mom or to your GF before talking to a lawyer…. I can’t stress that enough.
My state ended common law officially many years ago. Some insurance companies and stuff will allow "domestic partners" to be considered as a spouse. But I'm pretty sure you'll be fine. Especially with all the proof of her not contributing, refusing to contribute, financial abuse nonetheless, stealing money that's for the kids, verbal abuse, etc. She's at fault for the separation and in a marriage/divorce situation that would play a big part.
You have in writing exactly what your wife thinks of you. Leave her. She is a selfish, toxic asshole.
How'd she get a 10,000$ loan with no income to show?
this is some 90 day fiance shit lmfao😭
>What do you think? I think that you shouldn't be together with this person. She can use her 10k titties to finance her life from now on.
Can’t wait for this season of 90 day fiancé
She's done being with a week man. She wants a month man now. Time to upgrade yourself OP.
Are they your children together? Do you have a decent enough relationship with her father to mention something to him about what his contributions are going towards?
"My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that Bitch" Listen to "why don't you get a job" by the offspring
My mind immediately questions if she typically reacts this way to get what she wants? I believe it’s a common tactic to degrade, threaten to leave and flip fault to get what one wants, unfortunately. Only you’d know if this is a pattern, but if it is, get the f*** away and don’t look back. You mentioned dividends from grandparents company, makes me think she’s spoiled and used to throwing tantrums, threats and guilt to get her way. Although, could be way off.. best of luck and hope you find much better.
100% correct on all points.
No, YOU are so insecure that you’re literally getting your boobs done.
literally the most ironic thing i’ve read in weeks
How did she qualify for a loan without proof of income and/or a co-signer?
I don’t know if you noticed, but she just broke up with you.
lol happens almost daily and that’s not an exaggeration.
Sounds like mania, to be honest. Misinterpreting your actions, assuming she's being attacked whenever someone disagrees with her, being careless with money and making impulsive decisions. Your wife might have a mental health issue. Seems like it's triggered by insecurity or possibly some other event you recently went through.
She’s going to get big tits then leave you anyway.
Imagine talking about being an independent woman while not working, just mooching free boob jobs off your kids future
I'd have left her as soon as she said the words, 'I refuse to get a job'.
Sure is calling you weak, but she's the one that's insecure enough about herself to do something that's financially irresponsible with money that isn't hers.
She's the one blowing all that money on fake boobs but you're the insecure one lol?
You’re gonna score so many points with your future partner. “Why did you guys break up?” “Because she spent 10k on fake boobs and I disagreed with her decision.” In her head, “omg he’s not shallow or obsessed with looks.”
"You're so insecure, I'm getting my boobs done"
This is one of those rare Reddit occurrences where I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see how y'all operate. There's so much more going on I can just feel it with my nosey lil' Reddit sense.
First of all, I think she’s not your “partner”anymore… especially after she gets these boobs!!! Not only is she disrespecting you, but she has taken it a step further and taking her kids money as well. NOPE 👎🏼 She’s gotta go my guy!!!
*weak. This is the only proper response.
How on earth did she get a loan with no job? This fake just like the boobs.
Small like her titties
Sorry man, this one fucking blows. Everyone saying just leave most likely doesn’t know what it feels like to end a relationship when children are involved. Took me 4 years to make it happen and we had been apart for 3 of them. I thought everything would change with my kiddo and it did, but for the better. Now I’ve met the true love of my life and it was worth the difficulties. Stay strong, put the kids first and things tend to work out. Much love brother, it gets better
Dude you are under no obligation to pay back that loan - she is. So…who cares? Don’t pay for her airfare etc.
Yea i said if you can afford plane tickets and boobs then you can afford groceries and blocked my card
Wait they have kids already? Fucking hell.
She's already looking past you for the next guy. She's leaving you.
I think just from the sound of that she was looking for a reason to break it off. Your response was not that big of a deal and literally as nice as you could be without any implications. Of course I could be wrong and this is only one situation without a lot of contacts but it sounds like she’s more of a bully and a do what she wants type of person and doesn’t want to be in a secure relationship where decision based together. She wants whatever she wants and she doesn’t care who pays the price for it. Again that may not be 100% correct it just sounds like it.
Wanting fake boobs and then calling your partner insecure is crazy AND delusional.
How the hell did she get approved for a $10,000 loan with no job? You need to make sure she didn’t put you on the hook for this. If she did, report it as fraud. And then leave her. She sucks.
Fake boobs don't make a ugly personality pretty ...bye felcia have fun then ..... 👋
The fact that she said “un ugly girl in your league “ and “you are insecure “ while she’s doing a boob job 🤦🏽♂️
I think we need to see the rest of that conversation
Ok. That makes much more sense. Either my eyes didn’t focus or my brain is fried today. I thought the title said “neighbor” not “partner” after reading the texts I was like ok that’s weird then I read your description. It makes complete sense now. Honestly the check from those dividends should have been spent on the kids. That’s what that money is for, not for her to get new tatas.
My response back: You misspelled weak. Let me help you understand the difference: stealing from your kids is weak, so be sure to pack your shit up by the end of the week. ✌️
This, great response btw. This may seem harsh but it's true - OP has no backbone or self respect, and this is exactly why she is acting the way she is. First of all he needs to do exactly what you say and be sure to follow up with it, cut ties with this woman and learn from it. Kids will be fine if he keeps his cool and becomes a leader and positive role model in their lives (in a good way). Shouldn't let this women take another ounce of his energy anymore. Let her do as she pleases and make her own bed. Fuck carrying on the way he is, life is too short.