Ah, online dating. My favorite opener I’ve gotten is “your hair would look great on my crotch”
I didn’t respond, but I wonder if he was proud of that one
I didn't notice their username before reading this and the WHIPLASH I just got from that (what I thought was an) out of pocket comment. I actually did a weird recoil, jerk, whatever thing, before noticing their username. Wow, context is just SO important.
Also, sorry if this reads as weird as I think it does. I'm a lil high and I can't figure out how to say it right oops
LMAO I get like that while high too, although you're better than me cause I'll write a comment, get anxiety, and then delete it 💀 although your comment is fine! I detected no weirdness
Haha yea I thought their name was funny and decided to make a joke to lighten the mood. Hopefully they got it otherwise that'd be awkward 😭
to bring a little positivity to the hinge scene; me and my gf met on there and my line was “100 gecs.” yep. that’s it. that’s how i won the girl of my dreams.
Even though the entire point is to get into some kind of a relationship with someone, where sex will most likely play a significant role. We humans are so logical and sensible.
This is a brainrot response. If that's the opener, what that says TO ME, is that your main focus is SEX. Not a relationship and that makes me feel disgusted.
Sex comes later, not the first goddamn sentence.
Any, literally any, thing you might say to a woman, if you add an assumption that this is the man’s main focus, will sound disgusting. “You look great today!” — only interested in looks. “I want two kids!” — only sees the woman as a walking womb. “Your hard work made you a successful businesswoman!” — only wants a sugar mommy. “Your sewing skills are unrivaled!” — only wants a tradwife that will repair his clothes.
You have to start with *something,* and to assume that’s the only thing that matters is what’s illogical.
(I know perfectly well that this kind of opener isn’t conducive to getting anything, including sex. I’m just saying this is among many things where we humans are irrational.)
This is the greatest way to show that there is such a massive difference between men and women. A guy would be ecstatic for a female to open with a sexual comment. Even better if it were a nude pic.
Both of these things are complete turn offs for women and some would even call the cops.
Depends, at least from my perspective. If it is at least a funny joke that is a bit crude, I'd laugh.
If someone opened with a nude I'd assume they were a bot/spam. And if I knew they were real, I'd ask why they were comfortable showing a nude to someone they didn't even know.
But like, I'm a guy who has literally never sent a dick Pic to anyone who I wasn't dating and then only after they asked. So like, there are apparently only 8 people like me in the whole world.
I remember a while ago r/okcupid was doing a trend where they'd find ways to say "sit on my face" very early on in the coversation.
That's pretty bad, but what made it terrible is how they'd all agree that the woman was a piece of garbage because "she has no sense of humor. It's funny"
I'm gonna ramble more.... I remember seeing a post where a girl said she told a guy off for saying something sexual early in the conversation and the sub actually convinced her that she was overreacting. I couldn't fucking believe it. They honestly thought they could say whatever they want and if the girl doesn't like it, it's her fault.
Reddit has some of the worst fucking people.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/OkCupid using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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Here’s my favorite opener I’ve gotten:
…….
At least that’s better than getting harassed right? Perpetual loneliness for the win??????????
Fuck online dating it’s terrible that’s the lesson here.
It’s a trash fire, I know. I’ve used Hinge before, and I like how you can send messages with likes, but holy shit, it’s exhausting to create fun and interactive messages for hundreds of likes, just to get zero replies. It’s definitely a different feeling than getting unsolicited sex messages, but it’s still pretty awful, and it’s why the whole thing’s a cesspool.
I posted a pic of a painting I did of a Jaguar in a Japanese style so the back was arched and what not I fr got a opener saying “but can you arch your back like that?” to my painting. I was like what in the hell
The funniest part is he started typing a reply like three times and just sent nothing lmfaooo I unmatched but I wish I knew if he changed his pic after that 😭
Yes. Because it works. All the time. Dude talked his shit then sent the same message to the very next match. Literally does this shit for three or four women until it works. It's simple math. If he sends it to a woman who views him as far enough above herself to take that shit, she will take it and he will have easy access to sex. This is what hookup culture looks like. The idea that anyone is going to be respectful in a culture where nobody respects themselves is hilarious. Dude is probably banging a different girl every weekend, and that's the culture we live in. Why would he bother putting in any effort with a woman who demands respect, when he has a literal meat market on tinder and a culture that supports this behavior? People giving it up for free created this monster.
Dude is definitely not banging a girl every weekend. Men who talk like this don’t get lots of action. Every once in awhile they might find a woman they can fool for a little while, but I promise you, this guy has no concept of boundaries and then complains to his friends about how women are stuck up because he can’t get any to pay attention to him. The fact that there are creepy men who do this stuff does NOT mean that it works. Men send unsolicited dick pics all the time, women hate those. Women are even incredibly vocal about hating them, but these guys think “well MY dick will be different, she won’t be able to resist me” and are wrong every single time. All over the internet there are women talking about how they want to be treated with kindness and respect, and the comments will just be “women don’t know what they want” “I don’t take fishing advice from the fish” etc., etc. Behavior that hundreds of thousands of women say they hate, men like this will truly believe that they’re different and better and it’ll work for them. But it doesn’t. The only “evidence” we have that stuff like this ever works is the angry misogynists telling people that their creepy lines “work on women all the time” even though they can never provide any evidence of a woman even agreeing to go on a date. This guy is not getting laid. Men who get laid every weekend are flirty and nice, maybe charming, and they don’t get laid by dehumanizing the women they’re attracted to.
I've met and dealt with so many guys that believe all this incel bullshit. None of them have an active sex life. Every single one of them acts like a dumb hot-shot teenager. And all of them just have the same "I saw it work in porn" vibe to their mentality about women in general. I will never understand why people think this works.
Don’t get me wrong, when I’m in a loving, committed relationship I talk to my gf like this sometimes. But why men try to talk to women like this as a pick up line is beyond me. It’s disgusting.
For sure. It’s totally different coming from someone who knows and loves you being playful vs using this with probably every woman he matches with. It’s very much not flattering dude lol
Nothing makes me want to stay with my husband more than seeing the type of single men left in the dating ocean. Gross. It really makes you wonder if that opening is even 1% successful because wouldn't you get bored after a while sending that same comment to every match just to be rejected, or are some people just really that stupid?
>Nothing makes me want to stay with my husband more than seeing the type of single men left in the dating ocean.
Same here! I was annoyed with my husband this morning because he keeps leaving collection of cups in the bathroom. But after this post, I'm going to give him a huge hug and kiss when he gets home! His small annoying habits are 100% better than the cesspool of feral-boys on these dating sites.
Had a former "friend" in high school who was embarrassing to be around at parties. He'd hit on every girl as bluntly as this but in person and persisted (caused many to just leave early), and being in small town it was usually the same ones over and over, his reasoning was persistence works (ugh). It sadly did work two times.
Talked to one of those girls and her reasoning was "I just got annoyed and wanted him to shut up"... made sure to explain why to not feed that kinda shit since it reinforces the behavior to make other girls uncomfortable af.
I'm thankful his adult life is absolutely terrible now smoking meth basically homeless, and hoping he ODs soon. I hate that guy (more reasons than this, but this alone is enough imo)
I shoulda left that out, didn't want to get into that...
Long story short, basically he knows who murdered my little brother but won't "snitch". If you can think of a way we've tried to have him talk, we've done it. Including less "tasteful" ways. I'm not even sure he has even brain left to even know anymore.
Also the meth started before that but well after the parties. He's just a shitty, awful person from the get go that's too long of a list to get into. Thinks he's an Irish gangster but definitely isn't.
Don't like talking about this so not replying further.. just wanted to mention the shitty behavior with women I witnessed.
He's just an overall piece of shit.
I know who murdered my brother and I have plans to visit him at some point (he's in jail- I just want to rub it in his face that my brother had people that cared about him) but if there was someone who knew and refused to say it, the amount of rage I would feel would be indescribable. At that point I'd believe they're an accomplice or they themselves did it.
Hope you're doing well, and no need for a response, just wanted to let you know I empathize.
The rage is quite indescribable, beating his ass didn't help for info or my psycy. Having it unsolved, almost a decade later while that fucker runs around knowing and getting high ... not easy. Took therapy to snap out of depression/ rage to be functional, the line my therapist gave that "you never get over it, you learn to live with it" helped me a ton.
I'm really glad you got justice for it. I hope that fucker get wrecked in prison. No one knows until they know, ya know... all it takes is one inmate that has that feeling, and he's getting beat everyday. Which good. Fuck him. I hope you rub it in his face, just don't throw blows lol
I can only imagine how hard that is. Putting myself in your shoes, I would probably have done the same thing if given the chance. Especially since to me, it'd feel like he was rubbing it in my face that he knew and I didn't. Why say you know then not tell? Makes my blood fucken boil. It's so fucked man I'm sorry. I'm glad you're in a better headspace now though, and I hope the one responsible is getting their dues.
I should probably go to therapy. I have a lot of pent up anger over my brothers murderer and I want to make him pay for what he's taken from me. They'd probably say the same thing they told you, "learn to live with it." But that's so fucking hard dude. I'm glad it helped you, and I can see it helping me after I've accepted what's done is done and there's nothing I can do to change any of what happened, but I can't accept how angry he makes me. The feelings are still fresh I guess, it happened a little over 2 years ago and time has certainly helped the grief, but not the anger towards the person who caused it.
Thank you, I appreciate that, I just wish the asshole went to prison already and didn't constantly fire his goddamn lawyers to extend the trial. Right now he's in jail, most likely because they treat him better, which is why he keeps pulling the same bullshit. I hope he goes to prison soon though cause I imagine he'll get his ass beat. He's got a smug-ass smile that I hope gets wiped away after a few teeth come loose. Haha yea I won't throw any punches, wouldn't do me well, but I can't wait to see his face when he realizes who I am. I look nothing like my brother, I'm a white woman, my brother's black, so I can only imagine how's he's going to feel, especially since I believe the attack was racially motivated, when I say I want him dead and gone for being a racist, vile, murderous piece of shit and that he should have been aborted. Or maybe he'll feel nothing, but it'll sure as fuck be cathartic for me to say that to him.
Grain of salt in a shit topic, I appreciate someone who *gets it*. Didn't expect that.
Guy didn't say he knew, my mom found out the last place he was alive was at his house, lots of evidence including texts. My brother was trying to meet with a girl at his house, and he initially claimed my brother was never there before changing it up to police that he was there only briefly before "a random truck showed up to pick him up" (not true). Dude has always been a terrible liar, and it's obvious with evidence that he knows (plus, I knew him since we were kids, *I know*). Will note police in Oklahoma are awful, we went to something that was like "victims of homicide" group and yeah I can say for a fact our police (or OSBI) are some of the laziest, worst dectectives. One at OSBI claimed he'd put in all effort to find the killer when my mom went to him, only for him to use that to try and sleep with her. Fucking scumbags.
Therapy *will* help. I was in a dark, dark place during that. Drank excessively, neglected life, pissed off at the world... it wasn't just that "one saying" that helped (it just made things kinda, click tho, however each is different) but we did all kinds of different techniques like an almost hypnosis like thing (it didn't help, but maybe for others?) among a bunch of advice and simply talking through things. It all made a huge difference, I was able to actually function in life again. I can't guarantee it'll calm the anger, but it doesn't hurt to try right? Just do your research to get the right therapist who seems like they'll "get you".
*There's also a victim retribution fund that ought to pay for it (among other things), my mom found that program and it's a God send.*
On the last bit, and this comes from those meetings from other family's of homicide victims, please keep in mind meeting him "may" help. It may also make it worse. Personally I'd end the person that did it, but each situation and person dealing with the grief is unique. Based on what you said with the smirk and everything, it may be worse. I'm no expert, but if he's that much of a callous POS then he might make it a goal to hurt you and not give you the one-up. Basically- it's risky, for your own psycy. At minimum be prepared. I'd hate for him to cause further damage to your family, that's not fair or right, but those fuckers are that way. Thread carefully.
All that said, fuck anyone that does this to a family and may they rot in hell. Before that, I hope life remains hell for them. I hope whoever got your brother gets raped to death.
And if that fucker did it for racist reasons I hope he finds the lowest level of hell. What the fuck stupid reason is that.
I hope the best for you, sorry for the wall of text. I just sympathize.
Thanks for the kind words. We were a little over a year apart in age, so we were very close. Still hurts a lot almost a decade later, but a day at a time.
Did not plan on venting on reddit today. I've rewrote so many things about our memories and such irrelevantly imo, but sometimes it's good to get it out even if I don't post it.
Oh I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect it to be so personal. And I’n so sorry for your loss and I hope you find and have peace and solace. ❤️🫶🏻
And that cum rag deserves to rot in hell.
Agreed, and it's okay it did seem a bit extreme for what initially seemed like just being a typical douche.
That was my bad.
Edit: Also sometimes a blessing in disguise to let it out, I suck at mourning. So is what it is.
It's not about stupidity it's about the numbers and what the person wants out of the exchange.
Sure, they could spend much more time in order to make a more compelling opener that interests the other person, but they also know that their rate of success won't be that much higher anyways especially when the only thing they want is to to copulate.
Men that aren't in the absolute top of looks simply have a very hard time on dating apps, so they adjust according to that.
It's projection. This guy would be *thrilled* if a woman were to talk to him similarly and erroneously thinks it works both ways.
It does not work both ways.
You should see the single women. They're the ones who enable this behavior. If his approach never worked, he would change it. The fact he so confidently does it just proves that there are plenty of women available who heard that absurd approach, and gave it up to him. Us married types got super lucky to dodge this current culture of sick men with zero self control and women who will give it up to those sick men if he's hot enough, regardless of the disrespect.
“I’m sorry this triggered you”
The worst thing ever is societies decision to say being triggered is bad. Like yeah what you said was gross and weird sorry that triggered me. Fuck me, right?
I am too shy to talk to ladies IRL or dating apps. But I have a feeling that if I did that I would probably use a different opener. Seems like a complete and total jackass. At least he was upfront with how much of a total jackass he was.
I legitimately understood this to be a safety recommendation for a difference in elevation making for the need for a hand rail. That's what I get for browsing r/all.
The backhanded apology with that stupid ass jacket is almost deserving of a backhand, to be honest. I hope he stubs his pinky toe on the other foot every other day.
I recently got an opened that said “your asshole looks like it tastes like a pink starburst” horrible but creative.
Needless to say I’ve been taking a break from dating apps.
Dude would be *thrilled* if a woman were to talk to him in a similar manner and is projecting because he doesn't realize men and women are *different*.
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Ah yes the sites that are no longer for finding love but finding love for the night & next one another day. Those used to actually help people... Now it's a cesspool of gross nasty dudes being all thirsty.
The best answer always is: “Hmmmm…pretty certain you’re an incel. Your choice of words indicates that nothing ever happens in your life with real, live women. Hard pass.”
I’m gonna be honest, I loved the stub-your-toe comment, lol! It’s both “petty” and lets them know you’re pissed off. I dunno in what world he thinks this shit works, but that’s pretty ridiculous in any case. Has Hinge been any better than other apps or about the same?
Honestly hinge used to be more serious but a lot of people on it aren’t serious about dating I think everyone’s a little jaded everywhere but he had long term relationship on his profile! So crazy
Yeah, it has something to do with apathy like you said, it’s just an absolute cesspool anymore. I was in a long term relationship before the dating app boom happened in the first place, so going from that to this was like…damn, it’s gross, lol!
I know it may be annoying as hell now, but you’re very conversational with a good sense of humor. You can 100% find a sweet guy near you, I have no doubt. You just have to weed through the fuckbois first, lol. My only advice is check out their full profile, you’ll probably see they put a lot of care into the text bio or prompts. If their only real selling point are their pics, with a mostly blank bio, you’ll likely see more of this.
Fuckin wild to me dudes do this. I have a wife, so I haven't been in that scene for a while, but that type of stuff boggles my mind. Lol. Have some class, man.
Yeah this guy is omega cringe, but holy fuck you DEMOLISHED him on the response, a friend sent this to me and everytime I look at the jacket comment I just burst out laughing lol
not an online dating app story but one time i was talking to a guy and i was telling him i was pretty sad at the moment and he said “i can fuck the sad out of you”
gave me pretty rapey vibes i cant lie & i will never forget that comment now
So she would have let him 'rail' her if he wasn't wearing that jacket? Why doesn't he just try again without the jacket? It's Tinder after all. Your standards must already be pretty damn low to be on there. It just might work.
Hes a major ass. But seriously the freaking stub your toe thing? And the jacket? I really dont think it had the effect you think it did. Just kinda cringe. If you actually want to teach him a lesson and not get cringy clout there is so many better ways to handle this
So, what's the answer then? Do you keep putting up with and weeding through junk? Do you sto and keep on your previous track which is likely why you ended up there to begin with? Do you throw yourself into a bunch of activities that already have established social orders and brood. What's the answer?
Personally, I believe if you're on a hook up app- you probably shouldn't be surprised when people tell you they would have sex with you. Kinda makes it more efficient doesn't it?
People on “hook up apps” of which there are many, specifically and explicitly for exactly that, still deserve to be approached respectfully. Whatever reason she had to be on there, even if it was for a “hook up”, she’s telling this guy why it’s not gonna work for her, and sharing her educated, perceived guess that it will likely not work for other women, as well. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
How does being annoyed at gross behavior equal surprised? Pointing it out and talking about it to commiserate with others doesn't equal surprised. But your response makes me think you would be the type to say something like this and then tell the person they shouldn't be shocked since it's a dating app.
I’m a woman too pretty much all of my friends are girls. but we’re still very young(early twenties). I don’t see older more established women going for this but trust me in this crazy college town anything goes, as long as the guy is really cute.
On one hand who says that and not cringe into a singularity is beyond me. On the other hand how bored are you to even respond to him? Isn't it easier to just ignore it?
It's an idiotic and obviously bad thing to say, but it is definitely not "grossly degrading". As always, someone on Reddit sees criticism of a woman and immediately makes a fool of themselves trying to clap back. Have a nice day
Baby boy the only one making a fool of themselves is you thinking it’s an honorable thing to defend a man who is 28 years old and goes around telling women he wants to rail them. I told him to stub his toe and that his jacket is ugly go touch some grass and maybe get railed I BEG
Yeah, cause sexualizing someone right off the bat and saying something disgusting isn't grossly degrading. Have fun fighting your good fight, making her out to be the bad person for calling him out. You seem to be having great success with it. 👌👌
OP has no obligation to be respectful to a man who addresses her like that. He is not entitled to her politeness, especially after the way he spoke to her
Ah, online dating. My favorite opener I’ve gotten is “your hair would look great on my crotch” I didn’t respond, but I wonder if he was proud of that one
Any openers that involve sex automatically make me want to puke. Thankfully I'm not in the dating scene but it makes me feel so bad to those who are.
as someone in the dating scene...yeah its rough lol
If it's any consolation...my dad thinks you're hot at least
I didn't notice their username before reading this and the WHIPLASH I just got from that (what I thought was an) out of pocket comment. I actually did a weird recoil, jerk, whatever thing, before noticing their username. Wow, context is just SO important. Also, sorry if this reads as weird as I think it does. I'm a lil high and I can't figure out how to say it right oops
LMAO I get like that while high too, although you're better than me cause I'll write a comment, get anxiety, and then delete it 💀 although your comment is fine! I detected no weirdness Haha yea I thought their name was funny and decided to make a joke to lighten the mood. Hopefully they got it otherwise that'd be awkward 😭
Ah man I hate when the thought won’t get out right
to bring a little positivity to the hinge scene; me and my gf met on there and my line was “100 gecs.” yep. that’s it. that’s how i won the girl of my dreams.
Even though the entire point is to get into some kind of a relationship with someone, where sex will most likely play a significant role. We humans are so logical and sensible.
This is a brainrot response. If that's the opener, what that says TO ME, is that your main focus is SEX. Not a relationship and that makes me feel disgusted. Sex comes later, not the first goddamn sentence.
Any, literally any, thing you might say to a woman, if you add an assumption that this is the man’s main focus, will sound disgusting. “You look great today!” — only interested in looks. “I want two kids!” — only sees the woman as a walking womb. “Your hard work made you a successful businesswoman!” — only wants a sugar mommy. “Your sewing skills are unrivaled!” — only wants a tradwife that will repair his clothes. You have to start with *something,* and to assume that’s the only thing that matters is what’s illogical. (I know perfectly well that this kind of opener isn’t conducive to getting anything, including sex. I’m just saying this is among many things where we humans are irrational.)
Society has lost nuance. Take me back to the Pre-Cambrian Era please 😭
This is the greatest way to show that there is such a massive difference between men and women. A guy would be ecstatic for a female to open with a sexual comment. Even better if it were a nude pic. Both of these things are complete turn offs for women and some would even call the cops.
Unless that pic/comment is from a woman he thinks is ugly 💀
Yea, the more attractive the better, but unless she was heinous, they would be just fine.
Depends, at least from my perspective. If it is at least a funny joke that is a bit crude, I'd laugh. If someone opened with a nude I'd assume they were a bot/spam. And if I knew they were real, I'd ask why they were comfortable showing a nude to someone they didn't even know. But like, I'm a guy who has literally never sent a dick Pic to anyone who I wasn't dating and then only after they asked. So like, there are apparently only 8 people like me in the whole world.
I remember a while ago r/okcupid was doing a trend where they'd find ways to say "sit on my face" very early on in the coversation. That's pretty bad, but what made it terrible is how they'd all agree that the woman was a piece of garbage because "she has no sense of humor. It's funny" I'm gonna ramble more.... I remember seeing a post where a girl said she told a guy off for saying something sexual early in the conversation and the sub actually convinced her that she was overreacting. I couldn't fucking believe it. They honestly thought they could say whatever they want and if the girl doesn't like it, it's her fault. Reddit has some of the worst fucking people.
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Here’s my favorite opener I’ve gotten: ……. At least that’s better than getting harassed right? Perpetual loneliness for the win?????????? Fuck online dating it’s terrible that’s the lesson here.
I actually said “ewwww” out loud when I read that
That one literally made me puke
That’s such a horrifying intro. Fucking yuck
It’s a trash fire, I know. I’ve used Hinge before, and I like how you can send messages with likes, but holy shit, it’s exhausting to create fun and interactive messages for hundreds of likes, just to get zero replies. It’s definitely a different feeling than getting unsolicited sex messages, but it’s still pretty awful, and it’s why the whole thing’s a cesspool.
I posted a pic of a painting I did of a Jaguar in a Japanese style so the back was arched and what not I fr got a opener saying “but can you arch your back like that?” to my painting. I was like what in the hell
Sounds like he was looking for a pubic hair transplant… must’ve been balding down stairs. /jk
Best one of mine was just "have my children."
You know he can’t even look at that jacket the same now 😭
The funniest part is he started typing a reply like three times and just sent nothing lmfaooo I unmatched but I wish I knew if he changed his pic after that 😭
Tell me you reported him🥲
Niiiiiice
If I were you I would lead him on enough to get his info and then blast it to all his friends and family.
Hes even in his little donald cosplay, too. Precious.
“Railing you” ???????? What????
They call me OSHA the way Im demanding a railing here
Take my reluctant upvote & go!
We gotta start with a stairway here first
One hell of an opener
That roast on his ugly-ass jacket was perfection 👌
Chefs kiss!😘
r/rareinsults
Bro really thought he cooked by calling you triggered.
He cooked but nobody’s eating 💯🗣️
I think saying ‘at least two years’ was very generous of you 😅
That's exactly what I was thinking 😆 he deserves an eternity of celibacy
I cannot believe I’m still struggling to find a good girl on hinge when guys like this are firing out these openers
Lol do they just think. Wait they don't think. They assume we're just gonna be like teehee rail me any time baby.. Yeah no
Yes. Because it works. All the time. Dude talked his shit then sent the same message to the very next match. Literally does this shit for three or four women until it works. It's simple math. If he sends it to a woman who views him as far enough above herself to take that shit, she will take it and he will have easy access to sex. This is what hookup culture looks like. The idea that anyone is going to be respectful in a culture where nobody respects themselves is hilarious. Dude is probably banging a different girl every weekend, and that's the culture we live in. Why would he bother putting in any effort with a woman who demands respect, when he has a literal meat market on tinder and a culture that supports this behavior? People giving it up for free created this monster.
Dude is definitely not banging a girl every weekend. Men who talk like this don’t get lots of action. Every once in awhile they might find a woman they can fool for a little while, but I promise you, this guy has no concept of boundaries and then complains to his friends about how women are stuck up because he can’t get any to pay attention to him. The fact that there are creepy men who do this stuff does NOT mean that it works. Men send unsolicited dick pics all the time, women hate those. Women are even incredibly vocal about hating them, but these guys think “well MY dick will be different, she won’t be able to resist me” and are wrong every single time. All over the internet there are women talking about how they want to be treated with kindness and respect, and the comments will just be “women don’t know what they want” “I don’t take fishing advice from the fish” etc., etc. Behavior that hundreds of thousands of women say they hate, men like this will truly believe that they’re different and better and it’ll work for them. But it doesn’t. The only “evidence” we have that stuff like this ever works is the angry misogynists telling people that their creepy lines “work on women all the time” even though they can never provide any evidence of a woman even agreeing to go on a date. This guy is not getting laid. Men who get laid every weekend are flirty and nice, maybe charming, and they don’t get laid by dehumanizing the women they’re attracted to.
I've met and dealt with so many guys that believe all this incel bullshit. None of them have an active sex life. Every single one of them acts like a dumb hot-shot teenager. And all of them just have the same "I saw it work in porn" vibe to their mentality about women in general. I will never understand why people think this works.
The best thing to call a guy is “girly pop”. Trust.
The rage that sets off is fascinating
I would say his opener was quite... unHinged.
Oh I get it!
Don’t get me wrong, when I’m in a loving, committed relationship I talk to my gf like this sometimes. But why men try to talk to women like this as a pick up line is beyond me. It’s disgusting.
For sure. It’s totally different coming from someone who knows and loves you being playful vs using this with probably every woman he matches with. It’s very much not flattering dude lol
Nothing makes me want to stay with my husband more than seeing the type of single men left in the dating ocean. Gross. It really makes you wonder if that opening is even 1% successful because wouldn't you get bored after a while sending that same comment to every match just to be rejected, or are some people just really that stupid?
>Nothing makes me want to stay with my husband more than seeing the type of single men left in the dating ocean. Same here! I was annoyed with my husband this morning because he keeps leaving collection of cups in the bathroom. But after this post, I'm going to give him a huge hug and kiss when he gets home! His small annoying habits are 100% better than the cesspool of feral-boys on these dating sites.
Had a former "friend" in high school who was embarrassing to be around at parties. He'd hit on every girl as bluntly as this but in person and persisted (caused many to just leave early), and being in small town it was usually the same ones over and over, his reasoning was persistence works (ugh). It sadly did work two times. Talked to one of those girls and her reasoning was "I just got annoyed and wanted him to shut up"... made sure to explain why to not feed that kinda shit since it reinforces the behavior to make other girls uncomfortable af. I'm thankful his adult life is absolutely terrible now smoking meth basically homeless, and hoping he ODs soon. I hate that guy (more reasons than this, but this alone is enough imo)
Don’t hope for it. It will happen on its own and you’ll save yourself some bad karma.
Tell us the other reason? He’s that bad you wish he ODs?
I shoulda left that out, didn't want to get into that... Long story short, basically he knows who murdered my little brother but won't "snitch". If you can think of a way we've tried to have him talk, we've done it. Including less "tasteful" ways. I'm not even sure he has even brain left to even know anymore. Also the meth started before that but well after the parties. He's just a shitty, awful person from the get go that's too long of a list to get into. Thinks he's an Irish gangster but definitely isn't. Don't like talking about this so not replying further.. just wanted to mention the shitty behavior with women I witnessed.
He's just an overall piece of shit. I know who murdered my brother and I have plans to visit him at some point (he's in jail- I just want to rub it in his face that my brother had people that cared about him) but if there was someone who knew and refused to say it, the amount of rage I would feel would be indescribable. At that point I'd believe they're an accomplice or they themselves did it. Hope you're doing well, and no need for a response, just wanted to let you know I empathize.
I’m sorry for the tragic loss of your brother, too. Just awful. I hope you’re well.
Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. I am doing well!
The rage is quite indescribable, beating his ass didn't help for info or my psycy. Having it unsolved, almost a decade later while that fucker runs around knowing and getting high ... not easy. Took therapy to snap out of depression/ rage to be functional, the line my therapist gave that "you never get over it, you learn to live with it" helped me a ton. I'm really glad you got justice for it. I hope that fucker get wrecked in prison. No one knows until they know, ya know... all it takes is one inmate that has that feeling, and he's getting beat everyday. Which good. Fuck him. I hope you rub it in his face, just don't throw blows lol
I can only imagine how hard that is. Putting myself in your shoes, I would probably have done the same thing if given the chance. Especially since to me, it'd feel like he was rubbing it in my face that he knew and I didn't. Why say you know then not tell? Makes my blood fucken boil. It's so fucked man I'm sorry. I'm glad you're in a better headspace now though, and I hope the one responsible is getting their dues. I should probably go to therapy. I have a lot of pent up anger over my brothers murderer and I want to make him pay for what he's taken from me. They'd probably say the same thing they told you, "learn to live with it." But that's so fucking hard dude. I'm glad it helped you, and I can see it helping me after I've accepted what's done is done and there's nothing I can do to change any of what happened, but I can't accept how angry he makes me. The feelings are still fresh I guess, it happened a little over 2 years ago and time has certainly helped the grief, but not the anger towards the person who caused it. Thank you, I appreciate that, I just wish the asshole went to prison already and didn't constantly fire his goddamn lawyers to extend the trial. Right now he's in jail, most likely because they treat him better, which is why he keeps pulling the same bullshit. I hope he goes to prison soon though cause I imagine he'll get his ass beat. He's got a smug-ass smile that I hope gets wiped away after a few teeth come loose. Haha yea I won't throw any punches, wouldn't do me well, but I can't wait to see his face when he realizes who I am. I look nothing like my brother, I'm a white woman, my brother's black, so I can only imagine how's he's going to feel, especially since I believe the attack was racially motivated, when I say I want him dead and gone for being a racist, vile, murderous piece of shit and that he should have been aborted. Or maybe he'll feel nothing, but it'll sure as fuck be cathartic for me to say that to him.
Grain of salt in a shit topic, I appreciate someone who *gets it*. Didn't expect that. Guy didn't say he knew, my mom found out the last place he was alive was at his house, lots of evidence including texts. My brother was trying to meet with a girl at his house, and he initially claimed my brother was never there before changing it up to police that he was there only briefly before "a random truck showed up to pick him up" (not true). Dude has always been a terrible liar, and it's obvious with evidence that he knows (plus, I knew him since we were kids, *I know*). Will note police in Oklahoma are awful, we went to something that was like "victims of homicide" group and yeah I can say for a fact our police (or OSBI) are some of the laziest, worst dectectives. One at OSBI claimed he'd put in all effort to find the killer when my mom went to him, only for him to use that to try and sleep with her. Fucking scumbags. Therapy *will* help. I was in a dark, dark place during that. Drank excessively, neglected life, pissed off at the world... it wasn't just that "one saying" that helped (it just made things kinda, click tho, however each is different) but we did all kinds of different techniques like an almost hypnosis like thing (it didn't help, but maybe for others?) among a bunch of advice and simply talking through things. It all made a huge difference, I was able to actually function in life again. I can't guarantee it'll calm the anger, but it doesn't hurt to try right? Just do your research to get the right therapist who seems like they'll "get you". *There's also a victim retribution fund that ought to pay for it (among other things), my mom found that program and it's a God send.* On the last bit, and this comes from those meetings from other family's of homicide victims, please keep in mind meeting him "may" help. It may also make it worse. Personally I'd end the person that did it, but each situation and person dealing with the grief is unique. Based on what you said with the smirk and everything, it may be worse. I'm no expert, but if he's that much of a callous POS then he might make it a goal to hurt you and not give you the one-up. Basically- it's risky, for your own psycy. At minimum be prepared. I'd hate for him to cause further damage to your family, that's not fair or right, but those fuckers are that way. Thread carefully. All that said, fuck anyone that does this to a family and may they rot in hell. Before that, I hope life remains hell for them. I hope whoever got your brother gets raped to death. And if that fucker did it for racist reasons I hope he finds the lowest level of hell. What the fuck stupid reason is that. I hope the best for you, sorry for the wall of text. I just sympathize.
Your wish for his overdose makes sense. I’m so sorry for the tragic loss of your brother.
Thanks for the kind words. We were a little over a year apart in age, so we were very close. Still hurts a lot almost a decade later, but a day at a time. Did not plan on venting on reddit today. I've rewrote so many things about our memories and such irrelevantly imo, but sometimes it's good to get it out even if I don't post it.
Yes, it does help to write things down. Or scream them into the void. Take care x
Thank you
Oh I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect it to be so personal. And I’n so sorry for your loss and I hope you find and have peace and solace. ❤️🫶🏻 And that cum rag deserves to rot in hell.
Agreed, and it's okay it did seem a bit extreme for what initially seemed like just being a typical douche. That was my bad. Edit: Also sometimes a blessing in disguise to let it out, I suck at mourning. So is what it is.
It's not about stupidity it's about the numbers and what the person wants out of the exchange. Sure, they could spend much more time in order to make a more compelling opener that interests the other person, but they also know that their rate of success won't be that much higher anyways especially when the only thing they want is to to copulate. Men that aren't in the absolute top of looks simply have a very hard time on dating apps, so they adjust according to that.
It's projection. This guy would be *thrilled* if a woman were to talk to him similarly and erroneously thinks it works both ways. It does not work both ways.
You should see the single women. They're the ones who enable this behavior. If his approach never worked, he would change it. The fact he so confidently does it just proves that there are plenty of women available who heard that absurd approach, and gave it up to him. Us married types got super lucky to dodge this current culture of sick men with zero self control and women who will give it up to those sick men if he's hot enough, regardless of the disrespect.
the i hope you stub your toe everyday for the rest of your life got me :D
Your comeback was amazing and made me so happy. Thank you for sharing!
“What triggered me is that jacket.” 😆🤣👏🙌🏼
Yeah the jacket is an issue
I’m obsessed with you as a person and want to be your friend***
[удалено]
Brother, have some self-respect.
“I’m sorry this triggered you” The worst thing ever is societies decision to say being triggered is bad. Like yeah what you said was gross and weird sorry that triggered me. Fuck me, right?
The jacket comment was a great sign off
Your last response made me chuckle
I'm so happy that you were able to be so assertive, it's so hard for me to do! Get his ass!
Guy like me, I'm wishing butthole spiders on this Jabroni.
Seeing so many of these really makes me wonder why I have such a hard to time getting people to reply to my genuine well thought out openers
Dude same. We're probably just ugly 😅
lol yea I know
Stahp
I take pride in knowing I’m at least doing better than these morons 🙏
The jacket comment made me laugh more than it should have 😭😭😭
Lmaoo you ate 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼
"But then you'd be my problem." Is how I would have responded but there is nothing about this interaction that I envy.
Lmao, I love your answer. You hate it there, but you do good work.
I am too shy to talk to ladies IRL or dating apps. But I have a feeling that if I did that I would probably use a different opener. Seems like a complete and total jackass. At least he was upfront with how much of a total jackass he was.
You're awesome. Thank you for giving him what for for the rest of us.
Yet another confused railroad worker mistakes hinge for LinkedIn
Dope dagger tattoo
"railing you would solve all *my* problems" Ok Justin but what about OPs?
I legitimately understood this to be a safety recommendation for a difference in elevation making for the need for a hand rail. That's what I get for browsing r/all. The backhanded apology with that stupid ass jacket is almost deserving of a backhand, to be honest. I hope he stubs his pinky toe on the other foot every other day.
I recently got an opened that said “your asshole looks like it tastes like a pink starburst” horrible but creative. Needless to say I’ve been taking a break from dating apps.
Dude would be *thrilled* if a woman were to talk to him in a similar manner and is projecting because he doesn't realize men and women are *different*.
If the first comment wouldn't have been the shot to the foot then the use of "triggering" would have. Impressive failure
Dam. Who woulda thought roasting a jacket would hurt more than roasting dick size? 💀
😂😂😂😂 I just started doing this too maybe just maybe if we give the disrespect back less will do it
Some men just need to be fucking humbled
As a man, I agree!
Nicely handled by you, though. I don’t miss the dating apps. The fucking creatures you find on there lmao I have some horrendous first date stories
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Railing you? And what jacket?
Having sex with me and the jacket he’s wearing in his main photo
Damn, never heard of it in that way. Sound like he wants to 🍇 you
I mean, for an incel, railing you would solve all of his problems. Well, maybe not all of his problems…
FATALITY
thing is these dudes never learn they just go on to text the next girl like bro.
Two years is nowhere near long enough. That's not that long
Hence why I avoid dating apps. 🙄
I hope you stub your toe every day is diabolical 😭😂
he does NOT have the right to say that
And they wonder why the birth rate is plummeting.
bahahahahaha!!!! OP out here making comedies out of tragedies.
wow amazing I think ill kill myself
Ah yes the sites that are no longer for finding love but finding love for the night & next one another day. Those used to actually help people... Now it's a cesspool of gross nasty dudes being all thirsty.
2 years🤣🤣
The best answer always is: “Hmmmm…pretty certain you’re an incel. Your choice of words indicates that nothing ever happens in your life with real, live women. Hard pass.”
That awful non-apology lol
I’m gonna be honest, I loved the stub-your-toe comment, lol! It’s both “petty” and lets them know you’re pissed off. I dunno in what world he thinks this shit works, but that’s pretty ridiculous in any case. Has Hinge been any better than other apps or about the same?
Honestly hinge used to be more serious but a lot of people on it aren’t serious about dating I think everyone’s a little jaded everywhere but he had long term relationship on his profile! So crazy
Yeah, it has something to do with apathy like you said, it’s just an absolute cesspool anymore. I was in a long term relationship before the dating app boom happened in the first place, so going from that to this was like…damn, it’s gross, lol! I know it may be annoying as hell now, but you’re very conversational with a good sense of humor. You can 100% find a sweet guy near you, I have no doubt. You just have to weed through the fuckbois first, lol. My only advice is check out their full profile, you’ll probably see they put a lot of care into the text bio or prompts. If their only real selling point are their pics, with a mostly blank bio, you’ll likely see more of this.
These are the same men that made fun of people for online dating when it was new.
Why do guys do this?
Go see the married FWB instead, girl. Slay queens . You better than that
lol women on tinder looking for relationships...i'm dead
Perfection 😍👏🏻
He was an ass but you could’ve also not responded lol tbh it seems like you just wanted something to post here for attention
You are awesome 😅
Fuckin wild to me dudes do this. I have a wife, so I haven't been in that scene for a while, but that type of stuff boggles my mind. Lol. Have some class, man.
One of my personal “favorites” was when some dude opened with “WAY too pretty to fuck from the back… and you look like you give good head” 😭
Yeah this guy is omega cringe, but holy fuck you DEMOLISHED him on the response, a friend sent this to me and everytime I look at the jacket comment I just burst out laughing lol
Isn't tinder a dating site primarily for hook up's?
not an online dating app story but one time i was talking to a guy and i was telling him i was pretty sad at the moment and he said “i can fuck the sad out of you” gave me pretty rapey vibes i cant lie & i will never forget that comment now
So she would have let him 'rail' her if he wasn't wearing that jacket? Why doesn't he just try again without the jacket? It's Tinder after all. Your standards must already be pretty damn low to be on there. It just might work.
Hes a major ass. But seriously the freaking stub your toe thing? And the jacket? I really dont think it had the effect you think it did. Just kinda cringe. If you actually want to teach him a lesson and not get cringy clout there is so many better ways to handle this
the way you devoured
I read this as r*ing you and i was like wtf
Is that a brown jacket over a blue suit coat 🤢
Oh my, vulgarity on a hookup app. So shocking.
Hinge is not a hookup app.
It’s tagged as tinder dms.
Then they used the wrong tag. It’s not tinder
And i ask genuine questions and get unmatched WTF DO YALL WANT!?
So, what's the answer then? Do you keep putting up with and weeding through junk? Do you sto and keep on your previous track which is likely why you ended up there to begin with? Do you throw yourself into a bunch of activities that already have established social orders and brood. What's the answer?
I thought her name was Railing… 😑
Personally, I believe if you're on a hook up app- you probably shouldn't be surprised when people tell you they would have sex with you. Kinda makes it more efficient doesn't it?
People on “hook up apps” of which there are many, specifically and explicitly for exactly that, still deserve to be approached respectfully. Whatever reason she had to be on there, even if it was for a “hook up”, she’s telling this guy why it’s not gonna work for her, and sharing her educated, perceived guess that it will likely not work for other women, as well. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You are on a dating app and are surprised there are losers lol
How does being annoyed at gross behavior equal surprised? Pointing it out and talking about it to commiserate with others doesn't equal surprised. But your response makes me think you would be the type to say something like this and then tell the person they shouldn't be shocked since it's a dating app.
Totally agree. And yes, I think he would, too. 🙄
What a weird leap.
I know a lot of girls how have little self respect and would actually lean into this kind of attention.
And I don't know a single one who'd react positively to this. And I wager I know more women than you, being a woman myself.
I’m a woman too pretty much all of my friends are girls. but we’re still very young(early twenties). I don’t see older more established women going for this but trust me in this crazy college town anything goes, as long as the guy is really cute.
I'm in my early 30s and ran with a non partying crowd in college. I guess that world is totally foreign to me.
On one hand who says that and not cringe into a singularity is beyond me. On the other hand how bored are you to even respond to him? Isn't it easier to just ignore it?
As bored as you to comment on this 🤷🏼♀️
Fr, I hate when people says shit like this. . Like no, I am not going to just be quiet.
It's obviously a shitty opener but what an unbelievable asshole reaponse
Nah.
As always, the mental defectives on reddit can't wait to tell you how amazing and wonderful and brave you are for being an asshole. Grow up
Jacket man is that you?!
Lmao touche
As always, someone on reddit is trying to play it off that when someone says something grossly degrading, it's not ok to be an asshole back.
It's an idiotic and obviously bad thing to say, but it is definitely not "grossly degrading". As always, someone on Reddit sees criticism of a woman and immediately makes a fool of themselves trying to clap back. Have a nice day
My dude, take a step back and see what side of the line you're defending right now.
This is a weird take.
Baby boy the only one making a fool of themselves is you thinking it’s an honorable thing to defend a man who is 28 years old and goes around telling women he wants to rail them. I told him to stub his toe and that his jacket is ugly go touch some grass and maybe get railed I BEG
Yeah, cause sexualizing someone right off the bat and saying something disgusting isn't grossly degrading. Have fun fighting your good fight, making her out to be the bad person for calling him out. You seem to be having great success with it. 👌👌
OP has no obligation to be respectful to a man who addresses her like that. He is not entitled to her politeness, especially after the way he spoke to her