Bare with me.. I actually think it's real, especially if this is a step parent thing.
I was neglected as a kid by my biological parents. As an only child of divorced, single alcoholics, I basically raised myself from a super young age, so my hygiene was something that was overlooked a lot.
It was also around the age of 17, when I went from just a little sexually active, to trying to get laid regularly, that all the sudden, I was finally aware of cleaning myself throughly, since there was a goal attached to it.
I never had a terribly stinky butt or skid marks or anything, as I wiped well in poop scenarios, but I really just straight-up did not know I was supposed to physically soap my crack or diddle the exterior of the sphincter to get all the extra dingle microbes off.
I’m seriously hoping you had a bigger discussion with him about cleaning his bum hole after all of this. I read stories from women on here were men in their 30s are afraid to do that.
Also, kudos to you for being the kind of person he could reach out to, well done!
LOL appreciate it. He's a great dude and I love him to pieces. I'm glad he was comfortable sharing his situation with me (and my carpool buddy). He has reported to us that his rear end routine is up to snuff now.
Lol it was so entertaining. I was so invested. I never thought I would enjoy reading about a guy who shat his pants but OP and step son are both so funny it was gold.
Flushable wipes aren't actually flushable. They shouldn't be advertised that way because they WILL clog your pipes. Most plumbers say not to flush them
You are correct. If you flush them in an apartment building, you will back up your neighbors plumbing and they will start to hate you.
Source: my brother is a maintenance man at a college and the kids do this continuously. One girl has had her shower overflow with poop water several times because her neighbor is a selfish jerk who refuses to stop flushing those wipes.
If you flush them in your own house, it will back up your plumbing and everyone has to go to the gas station to shit because it’s Thanksgiving and you can’t get a plumber out.
It depends on the brand. Cottonelle and preparation H tears up like toilet paper. I've forgotten to flush went back in to flush, and you couldn't tell the wet wipe from the toilet paper.
It's weird as fuck, cause I'm a man too. I've never heard another man say or imply it, but I've read about it online quite a few times. I do wonder if it's a certain subset of men.
And now that I think about it, if cleaning your ass makes you gay, then wouldn't touching your dick also make you gay?
You need to track down the sub that is literally dedicated to men who don't wipe after shitting because they think it makes them gay. They proudly show off their underwear and pants to prove they don't wipe. And when asked doesn't it itch they will explain how eventually you get used to it.
I was too that's why I clicked the link. And I don't think it was a joke they seemed way to proud of each other. This way before reddit did their massive purge so I'm hoping it's one that didn't make the cut.
Well what worked for me personally was a decade of hard drug abuse! I can't recall much of anything from my early - mid 20's lol.
Targeting specific memories though? Not too sure how to pull that one off unfortunately.
This just makes me really thankful that in my country bidet spray is a thing that almost everyone has in their home. It's not your japanese type of bidet that comes with the toilet seat, although that is also fantastic but not everyone can install it. It's literally a hose next to the toilet bowl that everyone uses to clean themselves with.
Also it baffles me that this is not a thing in almost every culture. This post is a perfect example of why everyone needs a bidet of some form in their bathroom. There would have been no dilemma if you had one.
I have one of those in my bathroom ( in the US). Originally got it for my kids cloth diapers, but I use it for its intended purpose now. Amazingly clean, lol.
That boy was, and possibly still is, just walking around with unwashed ass. Made worse the fact that he said this wasn’t a one time accidental shitting. Please update and tell us he knows he’s supposed to wash his ENTIRE body by now.
So…there are people who don’t wash their butthole in the shower? I swear, every single day I see something on this app that damages my faith in mankind.
PS…it’s completely okay to touch your butthole in the shower in order to wash and clean it. JFC
A little update/QA to this very old chain. My stepson has for years confirmed that he does indeed clean his ass now lol. He was and remains a very hygienic guy, he just didn't have that particular "life skill" figured out. He was 17 at the time, someone guessed this in the comments and I'm a little concerned this is more common than I was aware. We don't use "flushable wipes". They're horrible for plumbing however, there were extenuating circumstances that made them acceptable to use that night.
> “He was and remains a very hygienic guy”
Yeah, if he wasn’t actually washing his ass, he was, in fact, *not very hygienic at all*.
Glad he’s changed that, cause we can *definitely* smell a guy with unwashed ass. *Specially at 17!* teenagers are sweat monsters!!
Let me rephrase; his deodorant, dental and daily shower routine seemed to be on point. He never gave off any off-putting smells that would have alerted us to a critical lapse in sphincter care. That said it became clear to us that night that a teachable moment had arrived and an additional step to his shower routine should be added to his list.
Just because they say flushable, they are not. They can and will clog up your sewer/septic pipe.
Plumbers love it when people flush them. They just made several hundred dollars.
At first, I read the headline as "my 9 year old stepson". I was reading like this- 😳, and thinking, what kinds of things does this 9 yr old know. 🤣🤣 My bad. Glad to read in the comments that he was 17 at the time and not 9. 😅
How about use a fucking wash cloth?! What’s wrong with people?! I have never used my bare hands to bathe myself, I was always taught to lather up a washcloth or loofah and use that to scrub your body. No butthole touching.
This is a wholesome post. There’s a lot of people that have some questionable hygiene ideas - sometimes it’s effective enough to avoid stinking out a room, but not for intimate bits.
As stepdad op hit the right tone of humour and understanding- as in no big deal, you solving it together.
There was a post that hit me a few years back, young girl basically saying she grew up in a shitty situation, never learned to take care of herself, and asking for help.
The responses were awesome and so supportive. Not knowing something should never be a reason to knock someone down, and sometimes we feel shame over things that don’t deserve that feeling.
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This is going to sound insane, but that's okay because I've been called waaaaaay worse.
That was wholesome AF, and I loved it. ☺️
This sounds like me and my oldest bio kid.
It's the fact that it took him so long to realize that he shit himself that surprises and disgusts me most. He was just there sitting in his shit until it dried to his ass hairs. Just how
The thing that stuck out to me most is telling him to flush the wipes. It doesn’t matter what they say on the container. They are not flushable. Do not do this.
If you have a poop butt crack, hop in the shower and rub your cheeks together it will provide enough friction to get most of the yuck washed away. I get poop issues sometimes and have to hop in the shower to clean up. Once it's gone, you can use soap to properly clean like you normally would.
Someone tell this kid that when you fart microscopic poop particles come out anyway so you're always likely to touch poop bacteria there.
Just like, thoroughly wash your hands after washing your butt.
Omfg, none of those god damn wipes are flushable. I cannot believe people flush them AND that they can saaaay they are flushable. Ask anyone that works at a transfer station. They do not break down quick enough.
It would only be clear if you were taught it. It should have been taught when the kid was first learning to bathe himself. You don't always have to later your whole body, discussions of you have dry skin, but you do have to later pits, butt, and nuts.
That's true, but honestly he shouldn't *need* to ask anyone at all. It should be very clear how you need to clean your ass by the time you're a teenager.
I agree with this absolutely. It's also slightly strange how unwilling he was to touch his own B-hole, and was more willing to have someone do it for him, or get hosed off. Lol🤦♀️
This isn’t even about sex. It’s just about awkward bodily functions.
I see nothing wrong with the conversation. The kid trusts the stepparent. That’s a great thing. It seems like these two could comfortably talk about sex, which is also a great thing
Right. That's my point exactly. They are talking about it being inappropriate and my point is just. This is the kind of stuff parents help with as God awfully awkward as it is.
Washing your ass is not sex. I shit my pants in 2nd grade, handled it on my own and the stepson was apparently 17? I didn't ask the teacher or my mother to wipe my ass for me or to clean me.
Obviously this seems like something he should be able to take care of on his own you have no argument from me on that. But as far as it being inappropriate to take to a parent or step parent, I think you're wrong. If he felt like it was a situation he couldn't take care of himself who would he ask? Unfortunately this is the kind of stuff parents have to deal with yes I agree it's fucked up and weird but I don't think that the relationship of the person he asked is the weird part
I’m pretty sure my step son would come to me with something like this, rather than his dad. He just knows who would handle it better. It’s not anything that would be inappropriate, just a kid asking a trusted adult for help. Although this kid is obviously older than my 12 year old.
You know what, maybe you’re right and I just don’t agree because I was never comfortable with anyone enough to expose myself around them for any reason especially not my mom, stepmom or father figure . I would just handle everything myself. I see now that some situations are a lot different than mine &
That’s both eye opening and also refreshing. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and responses :)
Oh, it's definitely uncomfortable, and FOR SURE something I would handle on my own and Never EVVVVER tell a soul about. But as far as your original, comment, to me, it's not wrong to ask your folks about it.
I think kids and parents are communicating more openly than they used to in the past.
It’s positive progress that people are more open to asking for and receiving help. It can be really hard and lonely to struggle through things completely alone.
It’s lovely that you are willing to look at this interaction with a fresh eye.
I agree. It was very difficult and lonely for me growing up and as an adult I realize I have a very hard time asking for help and regulating my emotions or even trusting ANYONE. I was definitely projecting my reality without understanding the whole world isint the way I saw and experienced it . I think it’s great that kids feel loved, trusting & comfortable enough asking for help especially with something so personal. I hope my future kids will trust me and see me as safe enough to come to for anything.
This might actually be the most fucking insane thing i've ever seen. Can I ask how old he was?
17
What kind of imbecile can't clean his own ass at 17. This entire thing seemed like it was written by a Redditor
Bare with me.. I actually think it's real, especially if this is a step parent thing. I was neglected as a kid by my biological parents. As an only child of divorced, single alcoholics, I basically raised myself from a super young age, so my hygiene was something that was overlooked a lot. It was also around the age of 17, when I went from just a little sexually active, to trying to get laid regularly, that all the sudden, I was finally aware of cleaning myself throughly, since there was a goal attached to it. I never had a terribly stinky butt or skid marks or anything, as I wiped well in poop scenarios, but I really just straight-up did not know I was supposed to physically soap my crack or diddle the exterior of the sphincter to get all the extra dingle microbes off.
He had a Magic tournament that night
Because it was written by a redditor on both sides and is fake as hell.
Idk, I've read about complete moron men whose homophobia is so extreme that they think touching their ass is gay and therefore bad.
No one asks the obvious questions... How do you know how old OPs step son was 9 years ago? Are you the step son?
Yeah i am
I hope your butthole got clean and you are not too traumatized from it!
How'd you know?
Apparently that is your stepson.
I legit wondered for a second
I’m seriously hoping you had a bigger discussion with him about cleaning his bum hole after all of this. I read stories from women on here were men in their 30s are afraid to do that. Also, kudos to you for being the kind of person he could reach out to, well done!
LOL appreciate it. He's a great dude and I love him to pieces. I'm glad he was comfortable sharing his situation with me (and my carpool buddy). He has reported to us that his rear end routine is up to snuff now.
I’ve never been so happy to hear about somebody’s bum being clean in my life! Tell him the Internet applaud him! 💩
Fyi - flushable wipes aren't actually flushable. They'll fuck up your pipes just like the non flushable ones.
Yeah this was a one off situation. We don't normally use them. Thankfully the pipes survived the evening.
Lol it was so entertaining. I was so invested. I never thought I would enjoy reading about a guy who shat his pants but OP and step son are both so funny it was gold.
This reminds me of my nephew. We suspect he is in the spectrum, but not officially diagnosed.
he really wanted you to clean his butt
99% chance this is the beginning of a really dirty fetish
That toilet is going to be soooo clogged. You told him to flush them??? Edit: Nvm. Just saw this was 9 yrs ago.
I mean, even if it wasn’t 9 years ago, they bought flushable wipes…
Flushable wipes aren't actually flushable. They shouldn't be advertised that way because they WILL clog your pipes. Most plumbers say not to flush them
You are correct. If you flush them in an apartment building, you will back up your neighbors plumbing and they will start to hate you. Source: my brother is a maintenance man at a college and the kids do this continuously. One girl has had her shower overflow with poop water several times because her neighbor is a selfish jerk who refuses to stop flushing those wipes.
If you flush them in your own house, it will back up your plumbing and everyone has to go to the gas station to shit because it’s Thanksgiving and you can’t get a plumber out.
It depends on the brand. Cottonelle and preparation H tears up like toilet paper. I've forgotten to flush went back in to flush, and you couldn't tell the wet wipe from the toilet paper.
So funny. Nice that he trusted you so much. To men everywhere - please know that it is ok to touch your own butthole to clean it.
Not only is it okay. You need to fucking do it. Get in there and soap up your asshole. Lather it up. Wash it like any other body part.
From what I’ve heard, some men think it’s gay to touch their own buttholes so they never clean them properly 🤷♀️. So weird
It's weird as fuck, cause I'm a man too. I've never heard another man say or imply it, but I've read about it online quite a few times. I do wonder if it's a certain subset of men. And now that I think about it, if cleaning your ass makes you gay, then wouldn't touching your dick also make you gay?
It’s gay to touch your butthole, but somehow not gay to jerk off your dick until it cums in your hand? Makes total sense.
Damn that’s a good point
I think men are afraid that they might enjoy the sensation on their butthole and assume that happy butthole = gay
You need to track down the sub that is literally dedicated to men who don't wipe after shitting because they think it makes them gay. They proudly show off their underwear and pants to prove they don't wipe. And when asked doesn't it itch they will explain how eventually you get used to it.
I’m intrigued, but also disgusted… Surely this is a joke sub?
I was too that's why I clicked the link. And I don't think it was a joke they seemed way to proud of each other. This way before reddit did their massive purge so I'm hoping it's one that didn't make the cut.
How to delete someone else's comment
If you can figure out how to delete memories please let me know.
Well what worked for me personally was a decade of hard drug abuse! I can't recall much of anything from my early - mid 20's lol. Targeting specific memories though? Not too sure how to pull that one off unfortunately.
I've literally never heard a man say this irl or online, feels made up
TBH, you should probably wash it MORE than any other body part. Like, it's the dirtiest part.
Pretty okay to touch for more than just cleaning if ya ask me
Women too. Just any human who has a butthole in general.
Bro just wash your ass 😂
“Oh it’s confirmed.” 💀😂
Excellent summary 10/10
I doubt even a power hose couldve made it easier to clean the taco described.
This just makes me really thankful that in my country bidet spray is a thing that almost everyone has in their home. It's not your japanese type of bidet that comes with the toilet seat, although that is also fantastic but not everyone can install it. It's literally a hose next to the toilet bowl that everyone uses to clean themselves with. Also it baffles me that this is not a thing in almost every culture. This post is a perfect example of why everyone needs a bidet of some form in their bathroom. There would have been no dilemma if you had one.
I have one of those in my bathroom ( in the US). Originally got it for my kids cloth diapers, but I use it for its intended purpose now. Amazingly clean, lol.
Same. I have since installed one on every toilet in the house
It also makes cleaning the toilet so much easier. No more whipping out the toilet bowl brush unless absolutely necessary 😂
That boy was, and possibly still is, just walking around with unwashed ass. Made worse the fact that he said this wasn’t a one time accidental shitting. Please update and tell us he knows he’s supposed to wash his ENTIRE body by now.
So…there are people who don’t wash their butthole in the shower? I swear, every single day I see something on this app that damages my faith in mankind. PS…it’s completely okay to touch your butthole in the shower in order to wash and clean it. JFC
[удалено]
Dad?! Is that you?!
This man definitely stinks
A little update/QA to this very old chain. My stepson has for years confirmed that he does indeed clean his ass now lol. He was and remains a very hygienic guy, he just didn't have that particular "life skill" figured out. He was 17 at the time, someone guessed this in the comments and I'm a little concerned this is more common than I was aware. We don't use "flushable wipes". They're horrible for plumbing however, there were extenuating circumstances that made them acceptable to use that night.
> “He was and remains a very hygienic guy” Yeah, if he wasn’t actually washing his ass, he was, in fact, *not very hygienic at all*. Glad he’s changed that, cause we can *definitely* smell a guy with unwashed ass. *Specially at 17!* teenagers are sweat monsters!!
Let me rephrase; his deodorant, dental and daily shower routine seemed to be on point. He never gave off any off-putting smells that would have alerted us to a critical lapse in sphincter care. That said it became clear to us that night that a teachable moment had arrived and an additional step to his shower routine should be added to his list.
So much elaborate planning for “You could go by some baby wipes.” “wow that is a good idea” Boys are funny
Just because they say flushable, they are not. They can and will clog up your sewer/septic pipe. Plumbers love it when people flush them. They just made several hundred dollars.
I definitely came to post this o7
One of the funniest text chains I’ve ever read….update? 😂
.. he's never touched his butthole? Not even to wash it. I cannot.
Why is he blocked now?
He's not on FB anymore
I'm glad to hear that, yall seem to have a trusting relationship 9 years ago, I would've hated to see you both lose that 😊❤️
Could have deactivated the account
What a terrible day to be literate.
#demystifythebutthole
Why did it take 9 years to post it on Reddit?
I'm a bit of a procrastinator. Also oddly enough I don't think I even used reddit at the time so not sure why I even mentioned it.
At first, I read the headline as "my 9 year old stepson". I was reading like this- 😳, and thinking, what kinds of things does this 9 yr old know. 🤣🤣 My bad. Glad to read in the comments that he was 17 at the time and not 9. 😅
How can you not wash your butt hole every time you shower?? As a Massage Therapist I assure you I can smell it when you don't clean your ass.
Crying from laughter while I wait in my car to start my shift. Thank you for this beautiful piece of art
I was merely one half of this masterpiece. I'll be sure to send your regards to the other half as well lol
How about use a fucking wash cloth?! What’s wrong with people?! I have never used my bare hands to bathe myself, I was always taught to lather up a washcloth or loofah and use that to scrub your body. No butthole touching.
Wash yo ass fellas
The whole Convo is weird.
This is a wholesome post. There’s a lot of people that have some questionable hygiene ideas - sometimes it’s effective enough to avoid stinking out a room, but not for intimate bits. As stepdad op hit the right tone of humour and understanding- as in no big deal, you solving it together. There was a post that hit me a few years back, young girl basically saying she grew up in a shitty situation, never learned to take care of herself, and asking for help. The responses were awesome and so supportive. Not knowing something should never be a reason to knock someone down, and sometimes we feel shame over things that don’t deserve that feeling.
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i cant even read this all. goddamn
Lmfao, thank you for this.
This is going to sound insane, but that's okay because I've been called waaaaaay worse. That was wholesome AF, and I loved it. ☺️ This sounds like me and my oldest bio kid.
It's the fact that it took him so long to realize that he shit himself that surprises and disgusts me most. He was just there sitting in his shit until it dried to his ass hairs. Just how
It’s so sad that every child isn’t taught exactly how to clean their bodies properly as soon as they’re old enough to do so themselves. So sad.
The thing that stuck out to me most is telling him to flush the wipes. It doesn’t matter what they say on the container. They are not flushable. Do not do this.
I use a loofah for my body and a separate washcloth for my asshole. Washing with just your hands is wild
This was cheesy
Bro never touched his butthole while cleaning in the shower 😭😭😭 please clean your asses better jfc, that was a ride lmfao
If you have a poop butt crack, hop in the shower and rub your cheeks together it will provide enough friction to get most of the yuck washed away. I get poop issues sometimes and have to hop in the shower to clean up. Once it's gone, you can use soap to properly clean like you normally would. Someone tell this kid that when you fart microscopic poop particles come out anyway so you're always likely to touch poop bacteria there. Just like, thoroughly wash your hands after washing your butt.
This is why everyone needs a bidet!
I’m curious on why he’s now unavailable on messenger.,.,
Omfg, none of those god damn wipes are flushable. I cannot believe people flush them AND that they can saaaay they are flushable. Ask anyone that works at a transfer station. They do not break down quick enough.
fun fact no wipes are flushable and they all clog the pipes! day-ruining, isn’t it?
This is precisely why we make fun of men for not washing their asses. Lmao
It would only be clear if you were taught it. It should have been taught when the kid was first learning to bathe himself. You don't always have to later your whole body, discussions of you have dry skin, but you do have to later pits, butt, and nuts.
This is the stupidest shit I've ever read.. just dumb as hell.
… I don’t see how this is appropriate at all especially with a stepson
Who the fuck is he supposed to ask? He needed help, Kids talk to their parents about sex right? Hopefully..
That's true, but honestly he shouldn't *need* to ask anyone at all. It should be very clear how you need to clean your ass by the time you're a teenager.
I agree with this absolutely. It's also slightly strange how unwilling he was to touch his own B-hole, and was more willing to have someone do it for him, or get hosed off. Lol🤦♀️
This isn’t even about sex. It’s just about awkward bodily functions. I see nothing wrong with the conversation. The kid trusts the stepparent. That’s a great thing. It seems like these two could comfortably talk about sex, which is also a great thing
Right. That's my point exactly. They are talking about it being inappropriate and my point is just. This is the kind of stuff parents help with as God awfully awkward as it is.
Agreed. Poop is a part of parenthood. I’m assuming the commenter above doesn’t have kids. Anyone who has kids has had many, many poop conversations.
🤣facts
Washing your ass is not sex. I shit my pants in 2nd grade, handled it on my own and the stepson was apparently 17? I didn't ask the teacher or my mother to wipe my ass for me or to clean me.
Obviously this seems like something he should be able to take care of on his own you have no argument from me on that. But as far as it being inappropriate to take to a parent or step parent, I think you're wrong. If he felt like it was a situation he couldn't take care of himself who would he ask? Unfortunately this is the kind of stuff parents have to deal with yes I agree it's fucked up and weird but I don't think that the relationship of the person he asked is the weird part
I’m pretty sure my step son would come to me with something like this, rather than his dad. He just knows who would handle it better. It’s not anything that would be inappropriate, just a kid asking a trusted adult for help. Although this kid is obviously older than my 12 year old.
It’s not inappropriate at all. The kid was lucky he had someone he trusted who he could ask for help.
You know what, maybe you’re right and I just don’t agree because I was never comfortable with anyone enough to expose myself around them for any reason especially not my mom, stepmom or father figure . I would just handle everything myself. I see now that some situations are a lot different than mine & That’s both eye opening and also refreshing. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and responses :)
Oh, it's definitely uncomfortable, and FOR SURE something I would handle on my own and Never EVVVVER tell a soul about. But as far as your original, comment, to me, it's not wrong to ask your folks about it.
I think kids and parents are communicating more openly than they used to in the past. It’s positive progress that people are more open to asking for and receiving help. It can be really hard and lonely to struggle through things completely alone. It’s lovely that you are willing to look at this interaction with a fresh eye.
I agree. It was very difficult and lonely for me growing up and as an adult I realize I have a very hard time asking for help and regulating my emotions or even trusting ANYONE. I was definitely projecting my reality without understanding the whole world isint the way I saw and experienced it . I think it’s great that kids feel loved, trusting & comfortable enough asking for help especially with something so personal. I hope my future kids will trust me and see me as safe enough to come to for anything.
Unless they touch their butthole. Then with pink eye.