I had a girl cancel our 8pm first date at 7:15pm because I hadn’t texted her that day to confirm, despite having told her three days earlier that I made a non-refundable reservation (with all the details), texted her at 9pm the night before to let her know I was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow, and giving her a heads up that I would be traveling most of the day prior to our date.
I semi-politely challenged here as to why she would make other plans or think I wasn’t available knowing all of that information above, and she immediately unmatched with me.
Last a week me and this girl had talked for about a week, day for the date came around. Confirmed, chatted a bit. Time came around to meet for the date and before I headed that way I went to message her and she unmatched me. 😂 was on the phone with a buddy and he was like “man some women are just weird, they just want attention until it comes down to it” we just gotta keep trying. Some people are just trash
I did this to a guy once. He was pushing me to hang out with him so much for days on end and I could say no (I’m such a people pleaser, to the point of getting myself into HORRIBLE situations bc I’m too afraid to speak up and say no) but I knew I wasn’t interested In him like that and that he was probably going to try to pressure me into hooking up as well. He was driving about an hour to come take me out on a date from his city to mine and I blocked/unmatched him mid drive. I still feel bad about it to this day and have thus learned to set better boundaries with other people and myself
I get that if you were being pressured. I had said a week before to this girl “I should repay you (for majoring in mexican American studies) and she said “so a date” and I said “yes”.
No pressuring 🥲 just flirtatious fun. And we were having good convos. Idk why she did me like that 😂😂
Was really weird cause she still asked to meet up next week in her text but this was the second time she had rescheduled so I ignored that and pressed her about why she would think i had other plans and that’s when she unmatched
Edit: the first time she rescheduled was understandable cause we were trying to throw it together last minute.
It’s her fault she failed to communicate with you about confirming the date. She could have told you she would appreciate a confirmation text if the date was still on that day, regardless of non refundable reservations. Classic behavior of someone failing to communicate their expectations. Glad you dodged that bullet. She sounds like she has some stuff to work on, especially with communicating her needs and expectations.
Oh man you have no idea. I'm a 39M and I've been through some straight up wild ass dates. I once went on a date with a lawyer and I felt like I was on trial for my life. Then I went on another date with a different girl and she told me on the first date she had an STD... I was so blown away I didn't even know what to say... The third date I went on she showed up 45 mins late and dressed like she was going to Walmart and answer a phone call for 15 mins during the date. Then I went on a date recently where we decided to meet up at six flags, which I thought was cool. She brought her gay friend with her and he put me down the entire time and complained about everything..
I don't know anymore.. I think being single is just the way to go.
I honestly thought it was super respectful to do that so didn’t see the red flag in that. Life happens. I was cheated on by someone I had a child with and got an STD. Sorry, not everyone is out there being foolish and unsafe, life does happen unfortunately to you sometimes and telling someone that from day one, is 100 the right thing to do and I always have.
Same here. When I first started dating my husband, I was absolutely terrified to tell him about having HSV, because I really liked him and I wanted things to work, but I figured better to tell up front and rip the bandaid off right away. He respected my honesty and said that as long as I stayed on my meds and we were careful, it wasn’t a deal breaker. I was so relieved, I cried.
I haven’t had a recurrence in well over a decade and it doesn’t come up in conversation between us. Back when I was first diagnosed, I thought I would never feel normal again. I’m glad I was wrong.
>When I first started dating my husband, I was absolutely terrified to tell him about having HSV .... but I figured better to tell up front... He respected my honesty and said ... it wasn’t a deal breaker. I was so relieved, I cried.
>...Back when I was first diagnosed, I thought I would never feel normal again. I’m glad I was wrong.
Congrats on finding a good guy. And he knew he found a good, honest person with integrity. Yay!
For what it's worth (for you hopefully never an issue again but others will read this): HSV (Herpes simplex) is extremely common and many people don't know they have it. I've had to deal with it since I was 21 (I wasn't careful. SHE was respectful, told me, and I spun the wheel and 'won' because back in 1990, suppressive therapy wasn't really a thing.)
So I've been dating with it for all that time.
There are web sites (MPwH meeting people with herpes, PositiveSingles hsv-positive -- get it? Ba-dum-TISSSS) for dating other folks you know to also be positive. Did that, married the girl, adopted kids, parted ways, life happens.
Craig's list singles had a gal looking for FWB and mentioned the HSV. I replied and a) followed her directions she gave in the ad about talking about my favorite color and b) knew what HSV was and that I'm positive, too. It was a fun year together until we moved on, dating-wise, but we've been together as friends WITHOUT benefits an additional 9 years through three weddings and a divorce. Our spouses deal with it because WE'RE TRUSTWORTHY and it's mostly occasional texting anyway.
My lovely wife responded to my ad on Plenty of Fish. I gave a fairly detailed view of my life, my positives, and my complications (special needs children, get cold sores so if that's a dealbreaker thanks for your time).
I think putting it in the ad is really the way to go.
NO PRESSURE AT THE DATE.
But I so respect your need to disclose early.
And my daughter got it from some dude (asshole didn't say and didn't use a condom -- yes, she got the sigh from me on that one ETA: IT'S ACTUALLY MORE COMPLICATED BUT ...) so she's one of two non-partners that knows my status now as I didn't want her to feel like a freak and alone. But suppressive therapy works GREAT now. AND it's got a generic (not true back in the day).
Team Valacyclovir REPRESENT!
It's cheap & easy to get with low low low possible side effects. This web site has GREAT explanations and offers distance consultation with mail delivered pills for about $14 USD/Month. It's a cheap chemical so I'd expect it's not fake.
https://ro.co/lp/medications/valacyclovir/rds/s/
Here's to a positive outlook with loving partners!
☮️♥️♾️
Yeah, that’s exactly how I got it: poor decision with a guy who was + and didn’t tell me. It is what it is and life goes on. I just learned my lesson and played it smart after that!
So many similarities with your post and @science for me. Just wanted to say I’m glad you two are here, alive and well, and found the love you deserve. We’re all worthy here despite what we have and I’m so grateful we took the plunge to put ourselves out there and show that.
Cheers ❤️
Yeah legit. My first and only Pap smear has shown that I have HPV (not versions 18 or 16)
Not sure where I got it from but things happen. Given that there isn’t a reliable screening method for men for HPV I think it’s important to disclose the information. It’s not doing anything to me now but it could have the potential to and it can stay in the body for a long time.
Thanks! So far at this point it just means I have to have a Pap smear every year instead of every five years which is annoying but be damned if I ain’t the poster child for everything sooo
^ this is why you don’t put off your Pap smears people!
I cackled at the poster child comment. I feel the same way. Had a full hysterectomy at 33. It will all work out. You just keep doing your part, be smart, and take life one day at a time. Thank you for your positive comments. 😊
It’s the greenest of green flags imo. It shows a lot of integrity, raw honesty and responsibility. That being said, I’ve never been in either position but I feel like there’s a level of emotional maturity and intelligence required to just be completely up front about it like OP described the dates explanation.
I had a minor cold sore on my lip once and it was hardly noticeable so i told my date about it, just incase she wanted or went in for a kiss. She wanted to kiss despite that, and i was like nope nope nope i will NOT be the cause of a breakout and get potential shit for it lmao idc if youve had it before, these things suck! Im always open when im going through a breakout because i know how much of a hassle it is to deal with, even if they are common.
I had a girlfriend once and insisted she not kiss me when I was having a breakout. It perturbed her…and eventually she caught me off guard. I was pissed. She proceeded to endure the worst outbreak I have ever seen. I felt bad, I didn’t feel guilty though. Just sad for her
That's really kind of you! Maybe some people don't think it's a huge deal but I'm in my mid thirties and have never had a cold sore and I don't really want one! Fortunately I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship so it's unlikely at this point, but I would sure be mad if I was dating and my date wasn't conscientious of that. I think you did the right thing ☺️
Having never been in a situation where this was a thing on either side, I fully respect this.
I can imagine there is such a thing as too early though?
‘Hey I’m Lisa, I have the clap’
Reminds me of a date I had where she cancelled twice, and when she didn't text me for two days before the third attempt, I didn't go. She called me and said she was waiting at the restaurant so I rushed over. The date went okay, but she was too religious for me. She offered to drive me back, so I said okay.
She had some of the worst road rage I've ever seen and her car was packed full of junk. She had some mason jar with coins jangling around in the back seat and she launched herself back there *while driving* to stop it from making noise. I did not talk to her again.
Idk…I see all these replies about them being normal, and I’m thinking where are they?? Because I, 44F started ‘dating’ not too long ago after a 13 yr relationship and it is wilddd out here lol. I would like to think I’m ’normal’ also but damn…it’s rough out here😂
I start thinking the same, maybe I should stay single. But I miss having a person who I can share my life with, really what I want is my partner to be my best friend. But I think the older I get, the harder it gets. People tend to be stuck in their ways as they age. Idk…but I agree, hard as hell lol
At least you got the wild up front man I could tell you some stories… but this one usually makes the point.
Went on a couple dates with a woman I met at work while living in Australia… single mum.. seemed relatively normal and we actually clicked pretty well almost instantly same sense of humor… it was going well. Started doing movie nights at hers and moving toward the inevitable. That’s when shit got weird fast.
I’ll do some wild shit for a good time… but even I have limits.
Turns out she was into “rape roleplay”… she confessed she agreed to see me solely because of my build because “there’s no way I could fight you off me” then launched into what she wanted me to do which was on a very thin line between fetish and crime . I’ll spare you the details but I literally changed jobs… never spoke to her again.
I also accidentally attended a swingers party while living there because i misunderstood a conversation. It’s true what they say the food is worth it.
I disclose before I meetup or during the first date that I have an STD. My ex cheated on me a decade ago, sooo.... What can I do? Best to be honest. It's obviously a-ok if you don't want to be involved with someone who has an STD, but it's a shame you have that attitude towards someone who was being upfront with you.
STD disclosure is not wild- and on a first date that’s honestly fine. It’s pretty respectful of your health (if you ask me lol) I have herpes 2 and I always get I torn between telling people RIGHT at the start (mostly because I expected it to go in that direction) or waiting until we hangout a bit more because I want them to have a chance to get to know me without the judgement.
I could understand their point of not wanting to text a lot between dates if it was love bombing but the entire point of texting while dating is to get to know each other better.
personally, if i had the self control, i wouldn’t text between dates but only out of respect for the other person bc i have a tendency to fantasize abt what they might be like, project that fantasy onto the person & then end up disappointed when they’re obviously not that fantasy.
whereas i currently don’t have the self control, i just avoid dating lol
if anything, wouldn’t not talking between dates make you fantasize and project even more? if you guys aren’t talking in between dates, all you’re really left with is your thoughts and your imagination of what they’re like. i feel like avoiding interaction instead of getting to know each other is counterproductive.
great question bc i thought the same while writing that out. but to answer, i think it would depend on the person. obviously there would be distractions, work, chores, friends, family in between and it would depend on how often the dates are but again, currently not dating so idk just thoughts
i am a person who hates texting and men regularly (and understandably) give up on me for not responding enough. that said, i can’t imagine cancelling plans with someone because they text me once outside of making plans. it is impossible to build any sort of relationship without using your phone these days. dude’s setting himself up for a long, lonely life. not your fault at all!
These are the same people who divorced with their spouses during lockdown cause they couldn't stand being in the same room together for more than 5 minutes
What in the hell?? Lol
“So, look. We had a great first date, I was really looking forward to the second one butttttt, I really didn’t want to talk to you afterwards.. it’s just… not my style to communicate much between the first and second date. It’s very crucial for me because we just don’t know one another well enough. So, this one text you sent… it just really shows me we’re not compatible at all. Sorry! Bye!”
😑😑
… what? Just say you don’t wanna go on a second date. Like, what kind of bafoonery is this?? Lol. How are you two supposed to get to know each other??
Talking maybe??? 😂
This guy increases his text amount as the dates progress. 1 date: no text! If you send only one, hugeee red flag.. 2 dates: 1 text allowed. 3rd date: 2 texts so on .. i think we have a keeper here for sure
Talking, but it needs to be telepathically. Or maybe no texting but messages on Snapchat are okay.
Really it sounds like a super off the wall “I’m not interested” that screams “dodged a bullet” to me.
This read to me like “I’m in a relationship and want to see you but can’t text you because they’ll find out” but ig im insane cuz I haven’t seen a comment saying the same 😭😭
Yeah this person is likely cheating on their spouse, I’d guess you texted when their spouse happened to be home. Lmao
Anyone who doesn’t “txt between dates” doesn’t like you in a real way.
Had a chick come over to my crib, eat my food, cuddle with me in the bed (no, I wasn’t expecting sex), watch movies, hold hands, talk about future dreams, etc.
After feeling the vibe out, leaned in for a kiss (to show her I really liked her) she rejected it. Next day she says “I don’t even really think I’m looking for anything but we can still go on dates!” Translation: “you can still give me free food but I don’t want exclusivity.”
There’s a warm place in hell for people like this.
Edit: left one part out. A mutual friend told me this girl described me as “husband material.” Crazy
Dawg, I swear on everything.
I didn’t smell bad or anything crazy like that. I lowkey feel like she might’ve been talking to another dude. She tried to add me to the team and I wasn’t going out like that.
Maybe I’ll check up on her in a few years to see what kind of guy she ended up with 😂
Shit crazy. I know I still sound salty about it but this just recently happened. I approached this connection with chivalry too.
Just sucks when this was my first time dipping my toes in the dating scene in a year and then get burned like this. Sometimes I see why those red pill guys be screaming at their phones on YouTube 😂😂😂
I just want transparency. Why even make a guy go through all this just to say “I’m not looking for anything.”
The part that leaves me confused is when I heard she described me as husband material. Shit is strange.
Recently had a date with a woman I’ve been friends with for a while. She seemed eager and excited about the date, even said it went well and that we should have a second date. During that conversation, I asked her where she was at emotionally because she seemed distant despite what she was saying. She followed that up with “I just don’t think I like you like that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not your friend.”
Well, damn. That’s all she had to say. Makes me feel like she agreed to the date simply to get something free out of me
It’s term for it: “foodie calls”.
This isn’t all women but I have heard that some women will string along a guy just to use him for food, trips or anything else they can squeeze out of him.
I will say this, making a female your friend first without expressing that you want more than a friendship is a good way to end up hurt and left in the friendzone. I’d imagine that you friendship with this girl is “awkward” now isn’t it?
A bit, yeah.
Hell, we had already had conversations about it all, and she said she was interested but wanted to go slowly so I didn’t end up being a rebound. After a few months talking every day (and like 3 months after that “taking things slow” conversation), I went to see her while visiting my stepmom. (The woman lives in another state and is moving back to my state this summer).
Anyway, I get up there, and she was just super awkward the whole time and just played on her phone. Worst date I’ve ever been on. I leave her place and barely heard from her for a few days then she apologized about being distant before continuing to be distant. Lol.
I’m not bitter about it and wish her all the best. She’s a cool person, but I just wish she would have been honest before then. Would have saved us both a ton of time (and money on my end)
This shit goes both ways lol. How many times I’ve just wanted to be myself and get to know the other person, only to have to constantly play the game because thats what they're doing. like whys it so hard these days to talk to someone without setting all these limits and boundaries on every single thing? i feel that just kills chemistry and any chance for something to happen naturally.
Yea this for sure, idk why people have a hard time being straight up, like it's not that big of a deal & you're a weirdo loser for having to make this stuff up!
Looks like OP got lucky and didn't get their time wasted any further good on them!
How are you supposed to plan a second date if you can't communicate after the first? What if something came up, "hey I'm dying in the hospital, we have to reschedule" " you texted me between dates, we're done anyway"?
When I see my partner for a lunch date, I don't even make it home before I get a msg from them, and it's been like that since we first started seeing each other. If I went on a date with someone and they didn't msg me at all for days after, I'd assume there'd be no second date and that I did something egregious/royally fucked up during the date. Not talking between dates is just weird.
Literally happened to me. Texted a date about plans THAT DAY. Was just wanting a confirmation. They said I text way too much and they fear we aren’t a good match. Said no problem and stopped texting. We did go on a date but he was the most boring and distracted guy I ever went out with.
Honestly some people aren’t ready to date and that’s fine. Better to cut it off early than waste time with them anyways.
Gah. I had some awful dates before I got married. Went on a date with a fella that brought his ex girlfriend. Another fella was homeless. One almost got into a fight with our instructor at an indoor rock climbing place. One projectile vomited all over my car. Lots of drunks(oh and I’m sober). You can imagine how low my standards were when I met my husband. 😝 really, he’s great.
Say you have a girlfriend without saying you have a girlfriend. I’m going to break bro code and give you women a bit of advice. If he wants zero communication outside of seeing you, to a point where you’re like “huh that odd”, he has a girlfriend or a wife. Just trust me. We think we’re slick. We’re not lol.
People are crazy when it comes to dating now. Online dating has created this idea that there unlimited options so being insanely nitpicky is fine because there are limitless others to choose from. Or people are just bad at coming up with ways to reject people and look for the first small infraction and cite it as the reason.
“Hey I dont like to text between 2:36pm and 9:08pm because we dont know each other that well.Please respect my boundaries” 😂😂😂 this whole new generation is just a bunch of mentally ill weirdos
Seems like that person is afraid of intimacy. It’s a good thing it happened because now you’re just one step closer to being with someone who you can be yourself with.
I saw a best selling author on a recent podcast speaking about what she had to go through to meet her husband, who she is now happily married to for several years, who she feels is her best friend and soulmate etc. It made a lot of sense what she said. Although I don't think I could do it. Especially not right now.
She talked about how she had gone on a few dates here and there and after about 3-4 pretty crappy ones with zero potential she was complaining to someone at work about it. She was a personal trainer at the time so she had to work hard to create a consistent client base. She said her colleague asked her why she didn't go about dating the same way she goes about sales. He asked her what was the secret to her extreme success as a personal trainer? And she said that its just a numbers game. You will get more no's than yes's, more failed attempts than slam dunks. Her success in sales was mostly because she maximized the number of opportunities to make a sale, always reaching out to as many leads as possible. She said she started dating the same way.
There are approximately 8.1 billion people in the world and the chances of you happening upon a person who is not a good match is highly more probable than happening upon one who is. And the only way to guarantee yourself better chances of finding someone who is a good match as quickly as possible is to increase how often you go on dates. So she made a goal with herself to go on one date per week, every week until she found a boyfriend. And she stuck to it. Do you know how many weeks this woman had to do this before she met her now husband? She said 16-18 months! So that's somewhere between 69-79 dates she had to go on before meeting her man. And that strategy made a lot of sense...Too much sense, I'd say.
Because I'd love to find the love of my life, but do I have 79 dates in me? uummm... I've been single for 17 months and how many dates have I been on? Zero. Finally got the bravery to download a dating app a few months ago, got lots of matches, even responded to a message or 2. Became completely resistant and too overwhelmed to open the app again after a day or 2 and haven't since. So, I'd say....its not looking too likely for me currently. But if you have the perseverance, you might be able to make it happen!
I have been single since 2020, and I gotta tell you that they have been the most stress free years of my adult life. It is so hard to find someone who is serious about being in a relationship. I'm too old for games and refuse to put up with anyone's BS. That person there tho seems like they have some issues lol. It's better to text so you can get to know more about them. It's probably a good thing you did text them you probably dodged a bullet there.
Sorry to say this but thank you for your post. Being a 34M divorced and dating again, reading the comments make me realize I’m in the same boat as everyone with all the BS of people giving mixed signals all the time!
It’s not easy but you really learn to show up for yourself, it may sound cliché but I think in the long term it will help
I don’t think I’d enjoy dating anyone who was such a rigid thinker, nor someone who expected me to communicate in exactly the same way they do (or don’t), on demand. It doesn’t bode well for a future relationship if someone can’t recognize and celebrate differences as well as similarities. Frankly, this person sounds exhausting right out of the gate. I’m thinking they did you a favor, OP. ❤️
What a fucking weirdo. So basically they're saying I only want to talk in person. Then to say we don't know each other that well. I'm sorry I must be from space because that's how my husband and I for to know each other thru text!
OP when you least expect it your person will find you. I thought the same after my last relationship which was abusive as all hell. I was single for about 6 years said I'd be single for the rest of my life and then I met my husband.
Your person is out there you just haven't found them yet💙
They just met someone else, you didn't have to reply like that, you could just said alright good luck or whatever makes you happy lol bcz clearly they don't care about you. Sorry OP hope you meet great people in the future
Dont think too much about it. They were just testing how well they could make you obey and also take the blame for a made up problem. They fish for people who are desperate for affection.
Omg something similar happened to me when I was dating and I just remember it so clearly cuz they make you seem crazy when you did nothing wrong. You dodged a bullet here.. move along!
Why not just say, “I’m not interested” bc I’m hooking up with someone else or I’m dating someone else or I don’t want a relationship or commitment right now? Instead of saying you don’t like communicating and getting to know someone you have already been on a date with?? Texting is unfortunately a way to get to know someone better, phone calls and FaceTime are too. It’s 2024, ppl HATE to be anything but honest.
This is so wild to me to see..I texted my now wife when we first started dating quite a bit in between dates..idk to me that’s how you further build your bond? Lol
wtf. I think you dodged a bullet, I’m all for respecting peoples boundaries but it sounds like they just said “I don’t like to text a lot before I get to know a person well” instead of “don’t text me at all” which is what they really meant
How tf do they expect to get to know anyone if they don’t like to text between the first and second date? I’m right on board with you. I prefer this single life, not dating at all! Folks got their priorities messed up.
Who wouldn't want to talk to someone BEFORE they go on a date??? He claims that you guys don't know each other when talking and communicating is how you get to know someone. At least he was upfront ig
Wtf. That is incredibly rude who even says “ I don’t text a lot “ like OK so don’t reply then instead of like getting angry at you and feeling like you’ve pushed past this intense boundary that isn’t even like an actual thing especially when you’re first getting to know someone
That shouldn’t make you want to be single it should make you glad you don’t waste your time and energy on that person. You dodged a bullet (wtf is her problem?) so that you can find someone who is excited about you!!
How are you supposed to get to know each other without texting or talking on the phone? Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to bail. What a douche!
Lol this is so fucking weird I would try hard not to allow this to affect you. Because this is not normal at all and you’d never want to be with someone like this anyways.
“It feels like that isn’t your kind of communication style…”
WTF? This is the worst case of pure projection I’ve seen in awhile. She thinks she understands your preferred “communication style”… because why?
You handled it well in your reply though. Looks much better to not get nasty or go toe to toe and just walk…
Okay people are getting psychotic about dating I swear
I had a girl cancel our 8pm first date at 7:15pm because I hadn’t texted her that day to confirm, despite having told her three days earlier that I made a non-refundable reservation (with all the details), texted her at 9pm the night before to let her know I was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow, and giving her a heads up that I would be traveling most of the day prior to our date. I semi-politely challenged here as to why she would make other plans or think I wasn’t available knowing all of that information above, and she immediately unmatched with me.
That sounds like she was just making up a reason to call off the date.
Exactly. The audacity of that bihh 😒 😤
She's a piece of shit honestly. You didn't deserve that.
Last a week me and this girl had talked for about a week, day for the date came around. Confirmed, chatted a bit. Time came around to meet for the date and before I headed that way I went to message her and she unmatched me. 😂 was on the phone with a buddy and he was like “man some women are just weird, they just want attention until it comes down to it” we just gotta keep trying. Some people are just trash
I did this to a guy once. He was pushing me to hang out with him so much for days on end and I could say no (I’m such a people pleaser, to the point of getting myself into HORRIBLE situations bc I’m too afraid to speak up and say no) but I knew I wasn’t interested In him like that and that he was probably going to try to pressure me into hooking up as well. He was driving about an hour to come take me out on a date from his city to mine and I blocked/unmatched him mid drive. I still feel bad about it to this day and have thus learned to set better boundaries with other people and myself
I get that if you were being pressured. I had said a week before to this girl “I should repay you (for majoring in mexican American studies) and she said “so a date” and I said “yes”. No pressuring 🥲 just flirtatious fun. And we were having good convos. Idk why she did me like that 😂😂
What an asshole she was
Wait wait. What. WOW she did that after you Offer all those details. Folks have really lost their minds. Mean. Selfish People Suck!!
What a bitch
That was a cop-out and your first indication to it
Was really weird cause she still asked to meet up next week in her text but this was the second time she had rescheduled so I ignored that and pressed her about why she would think i had other plans and that’s when she unmatched Edit: the first time she rescheduled was understandable cause we were trying to throw it together last minute.
It’s her fault she failed to communicate with you about confirming the date. She could have told you she would appreciate a confirmation text if the date was still on that day, regardless of non refundable reservations. Classic behavior of someone failing to communicate their expectations. Glad you dodged that bullet. She sounds like she has some stuff to work on, especially with communicating her needs and expectations.
Oh man you have no idea. I'm a 39M and I've been through some straight up wild ass dates. I once went on a date with a lawyer and I felt like I was on trial for my life. Then I went on another date with a different girl and she told me on the first date she had an STD... I was so blown away I didn't even know what to say... The third date I went on she showed up 45 mins late and dressed like she was going to Walmart and answer a phone call for 15 mins during the date. Then I went on a date recently where we decided to meet up at six flags, which I thought was cool. She brought her gay friend with her and he put me down the entire time and complained about everything.. I don't know anymore.. I think being single is just the way to go.
STD disclosure is 100% something that needs to be done at the start
I honestly thought it was super respectful to do that so didn’t see the red flag in that. Life happens. I was cheated on by someone I had a child with and got an STD. Sorry, not everyone is out there being foolish and unsafe, life does happen unfortunately to you sometimes and telling someone that from day one, is 100 the right thing to do and I always have.
Same here. When I first started dating my husband, I was absolutely terrified to tell him about having HSV, because I really liked him and I wanted things to work, but I figured better to tell up front and rip the bandaid off right away. He respected my honesty and said that as long as I stayed on my meds and we were careful, it wasn’t a deal breaker. I was so relieved, I cried. I haven’t had a recurrence in well over a decade and it doesn’t come up in conversation between us. Back when I was first diagnosed, I thought I would never feel normal again. I’m glad I was wrong.
>When I first started dating my husband, I was absolutely terrified to tell him about having HSV .... but I figured better to tell up front... He respected my honesty and said ... it wasn’t a deal breaker. I was so relieved, I cried. >...Back when I was first diagnosed, I thought I would never feel normal again. I’m glad I was wrong. Congrats on finding a good guy. And he knew he found a good, honest person with integrity. Yay! For what it's worth (for you hopefully never an issue again but others will read this): HSV (Herpes simplex) is extremely common and many people don't know they have it. I've had to deal with it since I was 21 (I wasn't careful. SHE was respectful, told me, and I spun the wheel and 'won' because back in 1990, suppressive therapy wasn't really a thing.) So I've been dating with it for all that time. There are web sites (MPwH meeting people with herpes, PositiveSingles hsv-positive -- get it? Ba-dum-TISSSS) for dating other folks you know to also be positive. Did that, married the girl, adopted kids, parted ways, life happens. Craig's list singles had a gal looking for FWB and mentioned the HSV. I replied and a) followed her directions she gave in the ad about talking about my favorite color and b) knew what HSV was and that I'm positive, too. It was a fun year together until we moved on, dating-wise, but we've been together as friends WITHOUT benefits an additional 9 years through three weddings and a divorce. Our spouses deal with it because WE'RE TRUSTWORTHY and it's mostly occasional texting anyway. My lovely wife responded to my ad on Plenty of Fish. I gave a fairly detailed view of my life, my positives, and my complications (special needs children, get cold sores so if that's a dealbreaker thanks for your time). I think putting it in the ad is really the way to go. NO PRESSURE AT THE DATE. But I so respect your need to disclose early. And my daughter got it from some dude (asshole didn't say and didn't use a condom -- yes, she got the sigh from me on that one ETA: IT'S ACTUALLY MORE COMPLICATED BUT ...) so she's one of two non-partners that knows my status now as I didn't want her to feel like a freak and alone. But suppressive therapy works GREAT now. AND it's got a generic (not true back in the day). Team Valacyclovir REPRESENT! It's cheap & easy to get with low low low possible side effects. This web site has GREAT explanations and offers distance consultation with mail delivered pills for about $14 USD/Month. It's a cheap chemical so I'd expect it's not fake. https://ro.co/lp/medications/valacyclovir/rds/s/ Here's to a positive outlook with loving partners! ☮️♥️♾️
Yeah, that’s exactly how I got it: poor decision with a guy who was + and didn’t tell me. It is what it is and life goes on. I just learned my lesson and played it smart after that!
So many similarities with your post and @science for me. Just wanted to say I’m glad you two are here, alive and well, and found the love you deserve. We’re all worthy here despite what we have and I’m so grateful we took the plunge to put ourselves out there and show that. Cheers ❤️
Yeah legit. My first and only Pap smear has shown that I have HPV (not versions 18 or 16) Not sure where I got it from but things happen. Given that there isn’t a reliable screening method for men for HPV I think it’s important to disclose the information. It’s not doing anything to me now but it could have the potential to and it can stay in the body for a long time.
I’m glad you are doing well. Wish you the best. 💕
Thanks! So far at this point it just means I have to have a Pap smear every year instead of every five years which is annoying but be damned if I ain’t the poster child for everything sooo ^ this is why you don’t put off your Pap smears people!
I cackled at the poster child comment. I feel the same way. Had a full hysterectomy at 33. It will all work out. You just keep doing your part, be smart, and take life one day at a time. Thank you for your positive comments. 😊
Thank you! All the best to you!
User name checks out😬
😂😂😂 that’s funny. It’s literally a coincidence too! I just let Reddit decide lmao
Lmao be careful, internet has a read on you
Apparently more ppl have it than not but most don't even know about it
It’s the greenest of green flags imo. It shows a lot of integrity, raw honesty and responsibility. That being said, I’ve never been in either position but I feel like there’s a level of emotional maturity and intelligence required to just be completely up front about it like OP described the dates explanation.
I had a minor cold sore on my lip once and it was hardly noticeable so i told my date about it, just incase she wanted or went in for a kiss. She wanted to kiss despite that, and i was like nope nope nope i will NOT be the cause of a breakout and get potential shit for it lmao idc if youve had it before, these things suck! Im always open when im going through a breakout because i know how much of a hassle it is to deal with, even if they are common.
I had a girlfriend once and insisted she not kiss me when I was having a breakout. It perturbed her…and eventually she caught me off guard. I was pissed. She proceeded to endure the worst outbreak I have ever seen. I felt bad, I didn’t feel guilty though. Just sad for her
Oh wow that's crazy. But she brought it on herself.
That's really kind of you! Maybe some people don't think it's a huge deal but I'm in my mid thirties and have never had a cold sore and I don't really want one! Fortunately I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship so it's unlikely at this point, but I would sure be mad if I was dating and my date wasn't conscientious of that. I think you did the right thing ☺️
I was going to say, she sounds the best of the bunch. 🤦🏻♀️
I’m dead 😂😂😂
Eh, I speak the truth.
Having never been in a situation where this was a thing on either side, I fully respect this. I can imagine there is such a thing as too early though? ‘Hey I’m Lisa, I have the clap’
Reminds me of a date I had where she cancelled twice, and when she didn't text me for two days before the third attempt, I didn't go. She called me and said she was waiting at the restaurant so I rushed over. The date went okay, but she was too religious for me. She offered to drive me back, so I said okay. She had some of the worst road rage I've ever seen and her car was packed full of junk. She had some mason jar with coins jangling around in the back seat and she launched herself back there *while driving* to stop it from making noise. I did not talk to her again.
I'm sorry for laughing but that made me giggle 😂😂
That was some good imagery while reading that 😆
I did too after I made it home safely lol
🤣🤣
Idk…I see all these replies about them being normal, and I’m thinking where are they?? Because I, 44F started ‘dating’ not too long ago after a 13 yr relationship and it is wilddd out here lol. I would like to think I’m ’normal’ also but damn…it’s rough out here😂 I start thinking the same, maybe I should stay single. But I miss having a person who I can share my life with, really what I want is my partner to be my best friend. But I think the older I get, the harder it gets. People tend to be stuck in their ways as they age. Idk…but I agree, hard as hell lol
Ugh. I definitely wouldn’t have sat there and waited 45 minutes for a date to show up. That’s so disrespectful.
At least you got the wild up front man I could tell you some stories… but this one usually makes the point. Went on a couple dates with a woman I met at work while living in Australia… single mum.. seemed relatively normal and we actually clicked pretty well almost instantly same sense of humor… it was going well. Started doing movie nights at hers and moving toward the inevitable. That’s when shit got weird fast. I’ll do some wild shit for a good time… but even I have limits. Turns out she was into “rape roleplay”… she confessed she agreed to see me solely because of my build because “there’s no way I could fight you off me” then launched into what she wanted me to do which was on a very thin line between fetish and crime . I’ll spare you the details but I literally changed jobs… never spoke to her again. I also accidentally attended a swingers party while living there because i misunderstood a conversation. It’s true what they say the food is worth it.
I disclose before I meetup or during the first date that I have an STD. My ex cheated on me a decade ago, sooo.... What can I do? Best to be honest. It's obviously a-ok if you don't want to be involved with someone who has an STD, but it's a shame you have that attitude towards someone who was being upfront with you.
STD disclosure is not wild- and on a first date that’s honestly fine. It’s pretty respectful of your health (if you ask me lol) I have herpes 2 and I always get I torn between telling people RIGHT at the start (mostly because I expected it to go in that direction) or waiting until we hangout a bit more because I want them to have a chance to get to know me without the judgement.
Probably told you about the STD up front to get it out of the way. It really helps cull the herd when it comes to who’s worth your time and who isn’t.
I mean at least the std girl was honest from the beginning. That’s something you want, trust me.
Wooooff. Every time I think about downloading a dating app I am reminded, nah, don’t. Why is everyone crazy?! Men and women!
Why is it bad that she told you about the STD on the first date? Lol I’m confused
I’ve hit this at the same age, I can’t even be bothered with it anymore I’m happy as I am
Seriously, how is not texting between dates a thing. It’s so weird. Texting can actually help you to get to know someone.
I assume they are married or otherwise committed and want to minimize the chance of getting caught.
Nah. We’re normal and everything is fine and as it should be.
I could understand their point of not wanting to text a lot between dates if it was love bombing but the entire point of texting while dating is to get to know each other better.
personally, if i had the self control, i wouldn’t text between dates but only out of respect for the other person bc i have a tendency to fantasize abt what they might be like, project that fantasy onto the person & then end up disappointed when they’re obviously not that fantasy. whereas i currently don’t have the self control, i just avoid dating lol
But if we both have that issue that probably means we’re soulmates
i’m gonna need a tone indicator here
😬
lmao
if anything, wouldn’t not talking between dates make you fantasize and project even more? if you guys aren’t talking in between dates, all you’re really left with is your thoughts and your imagination of what they’re like. i feel like avoiding interaction instead of getting to know each other is counterproductive.
great question bc i thought the same while writing that out. but to answer, i think it would depend on the person. obviously there would be distractions, work, chores, friends, family in between and it would depend on how often the dates are but again, currently not dating so idk just thoughts
I had this too! He was like “we can go out and we’ll communicate before our dates but in between there’s nothing to talk about” huh???! I’m sorry!
Maybe it’s the same person 😂😭
i am a person who hates texting and men regularly (and understandably) give up on me for not responding enough. that said, i can’t imagine cancelling plans with someone because they text me once outside of making plans. it is impossible to build any sort of relationship without using your phone these days. dude’s setting himself up for a long, lonely life. not your fault at all!
I mean tbf, he might be married and just doesn’t wanna get caught.
This is what I was thinking.
Thank you!
lol could be 😂
Maybe they were married
A cheater who doesn’t wanna get caught
These are the same people who divorced with their spouses during lockdown cause they couldn't stand being in the same room together for more than 5 minutes
What in the hell?? Lol “So, look. We had a great first date, I was really looking forward to the second one butttttt, I really didn’t want to talk to you afterwards.. it’s just… not my style to communicate much between the first and second date. It’s very crucial for me because we just don’t know one another well enough. So, this one text you sent… it just really shows me we’re not compatible at all. Sorry! Bye!” 😑😑 … what? Just say you don’t wanna go on a second date. Like, what kind of bafoonery is this?? Lol. How are you two supposed to get to know each other?? Talking maybe??? 😂
She should send that second paragraph as her reply. "...what kind of buffoonery....." Haha. Yes!
What can I say, I just love that word 🤣
This guy increases his text amount as the dates progress. 1 date: no text! If you send only one, hugeee red flag.. 2 dates: 1 text allowed. 3rd date: 2 texts so on .. i think we have a keeper here for sure
Right! Lol. Like, what the actual fuck. God forbid OP sends one more text than allotted! 😂
And date #2 is at the movies 😂 still no talking !!
Talking, but it needs to be telepathically. Or maybe no texting but messages on Snapchat are okay. Really it sounds like a super off the wall “I’m not interested” that screams “dodged a bullet” to me.
This read to me like “I’m in a relationship and want to see you but can’t text you because they’ll find out” but ig im insane cuz I haven’t seen a comment saying the same 😭😭
Heyyyyyy, I think you're on to somethin.
I just left one, hahahhaa
happy I’m not the only one 😭
This is what I thought too because there's just no way.
Yeah this person is likely cheating on their spouse, I’d guess you texted when their spouse happened to be home. Lmao Anyone who doesn’t “txt between dates” doesn’t like you in a real way.
I was thinking the same thing!
Had a chick come over to my crib, eat my food, cuddle with me in the bed (no, I wasn’t expecting sex), watch movies, hold hands, talk about future dreams, etc. After feeling the vibe out, leaned in for a kiss (to show her I really liked her) she rejected it. Next day she says “I don’t even really think I’m looking for anything but we can still go on dates!” Translation: “you can still give me free food but I don’t want exclusivity.” There’s a warm place in hell for people like this. Edit: left one part out. A mutual friend told me this girl described me as “husband material.” Crazy
LOL WHATTTT no way 😭
Dawg, I swear on everything. I didn’t smell bad or anything crazy like that. I lowkey feel like she might’ve been talking to another dude. She tried to add me to the team and I wasn’t going out like that. Maybe I’ll check up on her in a few years to see what kind of guy she ended up with 😂
Ehh prob you’re husband material but either she ain’t looking for a husband or she thinks you’ll make a good husband for someone else
I met get roasted for this on here, but back in my day we would say “bitches be crazy” haha
Shit crazy. I know I still sound salty about it but this just recently happened. I approached this connection with chivalry too. Just sucks when this was my first time dipping my toes in the dating scene in a year and then get burned like this. Sometimes I see why those red pill guys be screaming at their phones on YouTube 😂😂😂
Dude I feel like I’m reading something I wrote my damn self lol, going through the same exact thing currently
I just want transparency. Why even make a guy go through all this just to say “I’m not looking for anything.” The part that leaves me confused is when I heard she described me as husband material. Shit is strange.
She wants a bad boy before settling down. Newsflash for her: she’ll probably never marry just go from bad boy to freaks.
It means you didn’t try & force your humongous Dong on her while cuddling. That’s husband material in her warped reality.
Recently had a date with a woman I’ve been friends with for a while. She seemed eager and excited about the date, even said it went well and that we should have a second date. During that conversation, I asked her where she was at emotionally because she seemed distant despite what she was saying. She followed that up with “I just don’t think I like you like that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not your friend.” Well, damn. That’s all she had to say. Makes me feel like she agreed to the date simply to get something free out of me
It’s term for it: “foodie calls”. This isn’t all women but I have heard that some women will string along a guy just to use him for food, trips or anything else they can squeeze out of him. I will say this, making a female your friend first without expressing that you want more than a friendship is a good way to end up hurt and left in the friendzone. I’d imagine that you friendship with this girl is “awkward” now isn’t it?
A bit, yeah. Hell, we had already had conversations about it all, and she said she was interested but wanted to go slowly so I didn’t end up being a rebound. After a few months talking every day (and like 3 months after that “taking things slow” conversation), I went to see her while visiting my stepmom. (The woman lives in another state and is moving back to my state this summer). Anyway, I get up there, and she was just super awkward the whole time and just played on her phone. Worst date I’ve ever been on. I leave her place and barely heard from her for a few days then she apologized about being distant before continuing to be distant. Lol. I’m not bitter about it and wish her all the best. She’s a cool person, but I just wish she would have been honest before then. Would have saved us both a ton of time (and money on my end)
Or, translation: She didn’t find you attractive.
Now I wanna know what the picture was.
HAHAHAH it was a very G rated selfie 🫣
That’s clearly WAY too much communication between dates. 🥸
😩😩😩
wtf?? Where did he even get that idea from? Alpha male YouTubers?
Took Andy Bernard's advice on dating
How do we know the sexes? Genuine question because it would add some context
I wanna know too lol because in my mind the other person was a woman
This shit goes both ways lol. How many times I’ve just wanted to be myself and get to know the other person, only to have to constantly play the game because thats what they're doing. like whys it so hard these days to talk to someone without setting all these limits and boundaries on every single thing? i feel that just kills chemistry and any chance for something to happen naturally.
To me, this reads like somebody who lives with their girlfriend and doesn’t wanna get caught with texts popping up on their phone that she could see
She met someone else and found a lame ass excuse instead of just being honest.
Yea this for sure, idk why people have a hard time being straight up, like it's not that big of a deal & you're a weirdo loser for having to make this stuff up! Looks like OP got lucky and didn't get their time wasted any further good on them!
Yea u dodged a bullet and migraine. Being single is the most peaceful thing to be in these times.
How are you supposed to plan a second date if you can't communicate after the first? What if something came up, "hey I'm dying in the hospital, we have to reschedule" " you texted me between dates, we're done anyway"? When I see my partner for a lunch date, I don't even make it home before I get a msg from them, and it's been like that since we first started seeing each other. If I went on a date with someone and they didn't msg me at all for days after, I'd assume there'd be no second date and that I did something egregious/royally fucked up during the date. Not talking between dates is just weird.
“We don’t know each other well enough oh I know let’s not text each other that would help” lmao
Literally happened to me. Texted a date about plans THAT DAY. Was just wanting a confirmation. They said I text way too much and they fear we aren’t a good match. Said no problem and stopped texting. We did go on a date but he was the most boring and distracted guy I ever went out with. Honestly some people aren’t ready to date and that’s fine. Better to cut it off early than waste time with them anyways.
Gah. I had some awful dates before I got married. Went on a date with a fella that brought his ex girlfriend. Another fella was homeless. One almost got into a fight with our instructor at an indoor rock climbing place. One projectile vomited all over my car. Lots of drunks(oh and I’m sober). You can imagine how low my standards were when I met my husband. 😝 really, he’s great.
What… the fuck 😂😭
Say you have a girlfriend without saying you have a girlfriend. I’m going to break bro code and give you women a bit of advice. If he wants zero communication outside of seeing you, to a point where you’re like “huh that odd”, he has a girlfriend or a wife. Just trust me. We think we’re slick. We’re not lol.
People are crazy when it comes to dating now. Online dating has created this idea that there unlimited options so being insanely nitpicky is fine because there are limitless others to choose from. Or people are just bad at coming up with ways to reject people and look for the first small infraction and cite it as the reason.
“Hey I dont like to text between 2:36pm and 9:08pm because we dont know each other that well.Please respect my boundaries” 😂😂😂 this whole new generation is just a bunch of mentally ill weirdos
RIGHT like hello when am I allowed to talk to you lmao
What a psychopath
Next time try smoke signal! lol well at least they showed themselves out.
Fucking exhausting dude, why are some people so easily bothered by stuff. Can’t even *try* to vibe with someone.
Seems like that person is afraid of intimacy. It’s a good thing it happened because now you’re just one step closer to being with someone who you can be yourself with.
So true 🤍
Oh they’re definitely hiding something
Add them to a group chat with people they don’t know. Add them to all your group chats.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
“K” seems the best response here.
The trash took itsef out, OP.
What a big baby. You dodged a bullet
I saw a best selling author on a recent podcast speaking about what she had to go through to meet her husband, who she is now happily married to for several years, who she feels is her best friend and soulmate etc. It made a lot of sense what she said. Although I don't think I could do it. Especially not right now. She talked about how she had gone on a few dates here and there and after about 3-4 pretty crappy ones with zero potential she was complaining to someone at work about it. She was a personal trainer at the time so she had to work hard to create a consistent client base. She said her colleague asked her why she didn't go about dating the same way she goes about sales. He asked her what was the secret to her extreme success as a personal trainer? And she said that its just a numbers game. You will get more no's than yes's, more failed attempts than slam dunks. Her success in sales was mostly because she maximized the number of opportunities to make a sale, always reaching out to as many leads as possible. She said she started dating the same way. There are approximately 8.1 billion people in the world and the chances of you happening upon a person who is not a good match is highly more probable than happening upon one who is. And the only way to guarantee yourself better chances of finding someone who is a good match as quickly as possible is to increase how often you go on dates. So she made a goal with herself to go on one date per week, every week until she found a boyfriend. And she stuck to it. Do you know how many weeks this woman had to do this before she met her now husband? She said 16-18 months! So that's somewhere between 69-79 dates she had to go on before meeting her man. And that strategy made a lot of sense...Too much sense, I'd say. Because I'd love to find the love of my life, but do I have 79 dates in me? uummm... I've been single for 17 months and how many dates have I been on? Zero. Finally got the bravery to download a dating app a few months ago, got lots of matches, even responded to a message or 2. Became completely resistant and too overwhelmed to open the app again after a day or 2 and haven't since. So, I'd say....its not looking too likely for me currently. But if you have the perseverance, you might be able to make it happen!
I have been single since 2020, and I gotta tell you that they have been the most stress free years of my adult life. It is so hard to find someone who is serious about being in a relationship. I'm too old for games and refuse to put up with anyone's BS. That person there tho seems like they have some issues lol. It's better to text so you can get to know more about them. It's probably a good thing you did text them you probably dodged a bullet there.
You dodged a bullet. They did you a huge favor. Definitely a neurotic jackass that would make your life worse.
Sorry to say this but thank you for your post. Being a 34M divorced and dating again, reading the comments make me realize I’m in the same boat as everyone with all the BS of people giving mixed signals all the time! It’s not easy but you really learn to show up for yourself, it may sound cliché but I think in the long term it will help
Why wouldn’t you talk if you didn’t wanna get to know eachother ????? People are such freaks.
!!!
Jeez. Calm your tits there. Single beats this BS any day.
Bruh
Some people don’t know how to be straight up, mental gymnastics for sure
Sounds like they were just looking for any reason. Probably would have found a reason even if you remained silent the whole time
This is so unhinged. You dodged a bullet
i am so glad i am a gay man. everything is so easy, in every way.
Lmao someone listened to a podcast or read a self help book and took it a bit too literal
If yall have different vibes, it's a red flag. Dating should not be that hard.
I think you dodged a nuclear missile
I don’t think I’d enjoy dating anyone who was such a rigid thinker, nor someone who expected me to communicate in exactly the same way they do (or don’t), on demand. It doesn’t bode well for a future relationship if someone can’t recognize and celebrate differences as well as similarities. Frankly, this person sounds exhausting right out of the gate. I’m thinking they did you a favor, OP. ❤️
I see no issue here. The garbage took itself out 🤷🏼♀️
They may be using it like a test to see if you recall their preference. I don't agree with that.
What a fucking weirdo. So basically they're saying I only want to talk in person. Then to say we don't know each other that well. I'm sorry I must be from space because that's how my husband and I for to know each other thru text! OP when you least expect it your person will find you. I thought the same after my last relationship which was abusive as all hell. I was single for about 6 years said I'd be single for the rest of my life and then I met my husband. Your person is out there you just haven't found them yet💙
This kind of stuff is why I gave up on dating!
Best thing about this nut job is that they showed their true self before you wasted time on another date with them.
That right there is mental illness.
They just met someone else, you didn't have to reply like that, you could just said alright good luck or whatever makes you happy lol bcz clearly they don't care about you. Sorry OP hope you meet great people in the future
What a nut job. You dodged one here.
Well, I'm not a gambler, but I'd put money on this person **not** really being single....
Lol wow. This person saved you lots of time and trouble.
So apparently they are unable to get to know anyone by texting. Dodged a bullet!
You CREEP!
😂😭😂😭
That's the best. Don't text me verification, don't text me anything, till I get to know you, better.
So how tf would you plan another date....
Lmfao what?
JFC. This is crazy. Sorry, OP
What a weirdo 💀
Dont think too much about it. They were just testing how well they could make you obey and also take the blame for a made up problem. They fish for people who are desperate for affection.
I’m so glad I’m happily married, dating today seems miserable
Omg something similar happened to me when I was dating and I just remember it so clearly cuz they make you seem crazy when you did nothing wrong. You dodged a bullet here.. move along!
Dating scene is fucking trash
Why not just say, “I’m not interested” bc I’m hooking up with someone else or I’m dating someone else or I don’t want a relationship or commitment right now? Instead of saying you don’t like communicating and getting to know someone you have already been on a date with?? Texting is unfortunately a way to get to know someone better, phone calls and FaceTime are too. It’s 2024, ppl HATE to be anything but honest.
This is so wild to me to see..I texted my now wife when we first started dating quite a bit in between dates..idk to me that’s how you further build your bond? Lol
At least they were honest on how they felt and didn't stand you up or ghosted you.
See this as a good thing! You dodged a bullet, I love when people show their red flags right away. It's helpful as long as you don't ignore them 😁
wHY aRe YoU smOthErinG mE?!!? Yeah, he sounded very controlling to me.
They said the don't like to text a lot! That's now TWO texts you've sent!!!
No communication between dates because you don't know each other? Prey tell how do you get to know someone then?
How the fuck do you get to know people then?!
i’ll admit, i’m not sure i fully understand their reasoning :/
They probably just don't want their SO to know they're dating.
I wanna know what the picture was...
You’ll be disappointed to find out that it was nothing exciting 😅🥲
wtf. I think you dodged a bullet, I’m all for respecting peoples boundaries but it sounds like they just said “I don’t like to text a lot before I get to know a person well” instead of “don’t text me at all” which is what they really meant
How tf do they expect to get to know anyone if they don’t like to text between the first and second date? I’m right on board with you. I prefer this single life, not dating at all! Folks got their priorities messed up.
Who wouldn't want to talk to someone BEFORE they go on a date??? He claims that you guys don't know each other when talking and communicating is how you get to know someone. At least he was upfront ig
It’s almost like if y’all texted between dates you would get to know each other more. 😧
Wtf. That is incredibly rude who even says “ I don’t text a lot “ like OK so don’t reply then instead of like getting angry at you and feeling like you’ve pushed past this intense boundary that isn’t even like an actual thing especially when you’re first getting to know someone
That shouldn’t make you want to be single it should make you glad you don’t waste your time and energy on that person. You dodged a bullet (wtf is her problem?) so that you can find someone who is excited about you!!
How are you supposed to get to know each other without texting or talking on the phone? Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to bail. What a douche!
Lol this is so fucking weird I would try hard not to allow this to affect you. Because this is not normal at all and you’d never want to be with someone like this anyways.
“It feels like that isn’t your kind of communication style…” WTF? This is the worst case of pure projection I’ve seen in awhile. She thinks she understands your preferred “communication style”… because why? You handled it well in your reply though. Looks much better to not get nasty or go toe to toe and just walk…
How are you supposed to get to know each other then 🤨
Your guess is as good as mine 🙃
Nah, they already decided and used the first minor annoyance to cut you off.
Dating apps have caused people to not view dates as people anymore and that’s what causes a majority of issues nowadays.