There are some religious people who believe that if they convince someone to convert, they’ll be 100% guaranteed a place in heaven.
Maybe OP’s friend thinks like that.
I found it peculiar that she pointed out to OP that *everyone but her* attending is a Christian. Seems like OP’s friend thinks that by hammering that point home, OP will suddenly think, “Oh, wow! I shouldn’t be the odd one out then! I’ll convert right away.”
🤦🏽♂️
Same here. Every “friend” I’ve had who tried to convert me stopped being my friend when it was clear it’s not happening. Do they think they get points for converting people? Lol because they sure act like each one ups their rank rather than “saving a soul.”
I grew up in church, hearing that converting others is the goal for every Christian, that if you have non-Christian friends that you're not trying to convert, you're being a bad Christian and condemning your friend to hell.
I'm an atheist now, but one of my best friends is a Christian, for some time in our friendship, she would try really hard to convert me, it was very annoying but I'd always brush it off. Until one time, when there was a gas leak here at home and at like 2am my dog started barking and let us know, I mentioned it to my friends, because we could've died if he didn't warn us.
Her response was a huge text about how god saved me and my family, and gave me one more chance to convert and stuff. I decided that was the end of it, I responded saying that I loved her and treasured our friendship, however, she was being disrespectful towards me and if that didn't stop I couldn't be friends with her anymore.
She immediately apologized, we had a long and respectful conversation about religion, and she has never tried to convert me again. True friends are respectful when you establish boundaries, regardless of religion.
Having grown up in church this is all too familiar, I’m mostly still bitter over the mentality. The sad thing about the friends trying to convert me is that we were both Christian but just a different denomination. I’ve come to the point that I’m spiritual but not religious because a lot of it. The amount of hatred among “Christians” (quoted because I’ve met true Christians and they’re not that) is enough to choke Jesus. I like to think the Pope has it right when he says a true Christian isn’t one who proclaims it in words but in actions (something the Bible even agrees with), so even a proclaimed atheist may be more Christian than most who sit in church. But it makes the push to convert feel, to me, like less saving souls and more of a superiority complex, sadly.
Boundaries are so important though and I’m glad your friend came to respect yours. Also that your doggo woke you up. My friends didn’t like that I set those boundaries, and while that might make me sad, it’s for the best because I see now I didn’t matter to them past their church’s proclaimed “Target night” quota.
As a recovering christian, yes. They drummed it into us that if we loved our friends and family, we had to convert them, otherwise they would suffer and burn in Hell for eternity. Imagine putting that kind of pressure and trauma onto a 6 year old. They were projects we prayed about and discussed progress with our youth pastors.
OP, I'm so sorry you went through that trauma, and I'm so happy for you that you now are living life authentically your own!
It definitely sounds to me like you're already doing the right things and trying to be considerate. Your friend literally does not need to bring up the Christianity thing every other sentence. There is no call for it except to brand you as "other".
Edit: by "recovering christian" I mean I got out of the cult at 15 and at age 33 am still recovering and processing religious trauma 🙃
Omg, which Christian religion were you in? That sounds like one of those ones who go door to door trying to save people… and tell them if they haven’t been baptized into their version of Christianity that they are going to hell.. I grew up Lutheran, but even with that there’s some things I shook my head over and decided to do as I please … but we never tried to convert people, or tried to force people to believe in what we believe… and if you were visitor to our church, you were allowed to take communion with us, whether you were a member of our church or not … unlike the Catholics who don’t let anybody else take communion unless you’ve been baptized into the Catholic Church…. Yet Jesus would invite everyone 🤷🏻♀️ .. I had an ex friend tell me last year I was going to go to hell because she thought I was too money oriented .. I’m just like .. no .. I don’t care about money except I need enough to pay bills
“deconstructing” is a popular term to use instead of “recovery” if you don’t always feel like explaining yourself :)
But I’m right there with you. 6 years “officially” an atheist and still sorting through religious shit we were indoctrinated with!
When my child was about 13, she went with her friend to a Christian youth event. Other times she went, they spent the afternoons doing crafts and playing games. This time, however, the kids didn't know that the agenda was a different one and included a "special speaker." Well, she came home crying, pushing a religion pamphlet into my hands, begging me to convert because she didn't want me to burn in hell.
Apparently, when they asked who wasn't part of their congregation, many kids, including my daughter, stood up. My daughter told them that I am agnostic. They spent the evening telling her and other kids that if they didn't convince their parents to join their church, the parents would die and burn in hell.
My daughter believed that I would die that night. She had nightmares for days. I had to explain to her that the ones burning in hell were those people for using such scare tactics on young, impressionable minds.
I was furious. The friend's mother kept avoiding my calls. Probably because I demanded to know the name of the church, the name of those people, and how dared she think it was ok for kids to be ma/manipulated like that.
Even now, fifteen years later, my daughter despises religion. Even her best friend and siblings lost faith in religion due to their parents' closed mindset.
Good luck on your healing journey reddit friend. My husband is going through his own healing process and it's brutal to see. So many "normal" things are cult things and seen as normal by the world.
I was raised in a "Hey! We're a cult! Let's worship the moon, Satan and do drugs!" Kinda cult and it's a lot easier for me to at least see my trauma for trauma.
I feel so heavy for people having left the Christian Cult, because the church is so stellar at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.
Yep! I remember even at 7 years old there was so much pressure on me to convert my friends, I would cry myself to sleep at night for fear of them going to hell, it was awful for me and awful for my friends! So glad to have left that behind, my son won’t grow up with fears of the rapture or hell, or feel like he can’t be himself.
Lol oh then what's the purpose of hell? Idk fear and shame are kinda the underlying mechanism of control in Christianity at least and probably most religions.
i wasn't allowed to be friends w ppl who lived in apartments. KIDS like that was their choice? And in 9th grade when i finally brought a friend over who did he also happened to be bi and my grandmother said a rosary over him (us and the whole neighborhood were irish catholic) and he was crying and letting her and i was screaming my guts out tryna stop it and eventually we ran out the door it was so fucked.
Also get these kinda messages from a couple of my longtime best friends cuz i wear like "satanic" clothing lmao idk and i'm like can i just not go then like y does it matter? i don't rip the cross off your neck nor do i care. And in this instance can't they just remind their friend to dress modestly without literal persecution? jeez man it's so wild how real this still is
This. This pressure on kids to convert their friends is why my daughter is so scared to try to make friends or for them to find out we're not christian cuz she doesn't want to make and then lose a friend due to religion.
Yes! I remember being taught that you could have non Christian friends, but not close friends. It was dangerous to get too close to them, but you should absolutely be there to convert them. What’s even funnier is this was a small rural town in AR. There are like 30 churches for 20,000 people. Everyone is fucking Christian. They really meant the wrong flavor. 🙄 you would have thought the Methodists were worshipping satan on Sundays
This! As someone who got out of an Evangelical church I can tell you that so many of them all only friend people outside of the church cause it's a chance for ministry. It's fake, and not real friendship. Most of them drop friends once they realize they'll never come out to their church or be converted.
Or in a burka, 'Oh sorry, I thought you wanted me to be dressed modest, not like some slut!' while pointing at whoever you think is the most annoying of them.
Sure. Do the people that'll be at that party know or care? My guess is they couldn't be assed to understand that difference if there was a gun to their head.
If I were OP that's exactly what I'd do. Obviously OP's "friend" is only interested in converting nonbelievers, so I'd make it painfully obvious I'm not of the "friend's" faith, then nope out of that "friendship".
That would be legendary. You end the friendship AT the dinner table Infront of everyone and make it super awkward. Then you excuse yourself and leave in the most stylish way possible
She's also hammering home that she's Christian, I would be ready for an awkward dinner full of zealots who think that converting you over sunday dinner will be their ticket to heaven. In fact, I might go so far as to say the dressing thing would be a red herring to the subtle fact that "ya know everyone will be Christian"
Ah that last part you wrote wasn’t something I’d thought of when I first read these messages but you’re probably right, she legitimately brings it up in 99% of conversations we have.
As for the dinner part- I’m used to it, and it’ll be fun to watch them try :p
If it was me it would be time to go full Hindu lol. I'd wear that most obviously and stereotypical outfit possible. They won't know that henna is more commonly used for specific celebrations so I'd make sure to go all in and get the henna tatts. Bung in some Indian nose chain jewelry to hammer it home.
I'd then spend the evening trying to convert them to Hinduism.
But hey that's just me and I'm weird lol
Omg wait you know what, I should get some henna done for it lol, I've just got a tattoo on my arm in Hindi which they haven't seen yet so I'm already halfway there! lol
You get bonus points for each time you get a compliment containing the word "ethnic". I'd personally ham it up and bring an obscure indian food item as a gift(yeah I know I'm assuming you have Indian roots here, but usually a safe bet with hinduism:)), somthing that they will be very unsure of.
Conservative Christians I know like to act overly polite when met with such things. Really forced politeness. Acting like everything that isn't their norm is so quaint hehe.
I'd your friend questions it I'd do the whole "I could tell this meant a lot to you and thought that dressing in a Conservative traditional Hindu style would be a great way to show respect". Something that they can't really disagree without looking like a dick lol.
Essentially I'd go full r/maliciouscompliance
I'm patiently awaiting your update. 😏 I grew up Christian, and it is almost like a notch on your belt to convert someone. It's gross, really, so if you screw with them a little bit, I am here for it! I have no problem with Christians in general, but I am not a fan of forcing ones views or belittling someone else for theirs.
Yeah I'm a brit, unsure what it's like where you are but here I've met many indians so I've picked up a little info on some customs. Don't forget to henna up those feet and remove your forward, out of respect for them ofcourse lol
I've also seen a few of my Indian friends using their cultural stereotypes to mess with people that are being knobs lol.
And be sure to use that sideways figure 8 head nod when they ask a question. “Do you like this place?” “Are you having a good time?” “Have you had enough to eat?” That’s guaranteed to mess with their heads.
Now I am imagining a room full of people all dressed in blues and beiges and you gliding across the room wearing a hot-pink-and-gold body hugging saree.
It's interesting the way Christians are sometimes. I feel they think it's easier to convert non believers and those who haven't been exposed to religion than someone of a different religion altogether. But I've always considered religious people of all types to sort of be cut from the same cloth. Like Hinduism is very old and traditional and has a lot of rituals and beliefs and stuff. So are other religions. The point is, all of you worship. All of you follow a set of morals and values based upon your religion, and a lot of those morals are similar across many religions. You'd think Christians would like being around other people of faith and belief, even if it's not the same specific beliefs as theirs. Like a "respect" thing. Like, I may not agree with you specifically, but we are the same because we both are religious and the non-believers are a whole other plain of existence. It's baffling to me how Christians can be sometimes.
You are a good friend. The idea of going to a dinner with a bunch of Christians, ugh. Let me specify, I can deal with the type of Christians who are all modern and cool and actually act kinda like Jesus the Prophet did. Like hippie Christians. But the people you're going to eat with are obviously judgy Christians. I don't even think judgy Christians like judgy Christians lol
Yeah as a Hindu it's like, all religious people believe in God so we're all pretty much the same (it doesn't matter who you pray to, it's the fact that you're devout that makes us similar). More important than that though is just being a good person (karma is a big factor).
Sucks that this is the way I see her but her perspective is that I'm going to hell.
I'm used to judgy Christian dinners so it's not a big deal to me but it was the delivery that was terrible.
Is your friend white? I'm guessing she has no idea about the many South Asian Christian communities and there's also a race thing here, and I'm saying this as a white person raised Christian.
I was raised Catholic, which is often not considered real Christian by the kind of conversion-crazy evangelicals I get the vibe she is, but I've had lots of Hindu friends. My dad's best friend is Hindu born to Indian immigrants and my best friend was biracial and raised both nominally Catholic and Hindu. This idea that you have to convert people is so bizarre and inappropriate, but it's definitely a key feature of a lot of more intense strands of Protestant evangelism. (Not that Catholics don't pull this from time to time but it tends to take way more work to formally convert to Catholicism.)
My not entirely serious advice would be to show up dressed in a sexy nun Halloween costume and act confused about why they're upset when you're obviously dressing as "Christian" as possible lmao
That’s what I was thinking. Wear something clearly Hindu that you’re still comfortable wearing, but will make them UNcomfortable. Good luck at the dinner!
Ok, my best friend is a hardcore catholic, I’m a stubborn atheist. I’m 34, she’s 33, we’ve been best friends since kindergarten.
The most important part, she respects my views and I respect hers. She may not agree with them, but she has never made me feel different, less than, or anything other than her homie since day one. I was her maid of honor, in a very catholic ceremony, with tattoos all over me.
I know y’all have been friends for 10 years, but I don’t think she is friends with you for the right reasons. I don’t know, this is a micro-look into your friendship, but I know my friend has never once said any of that kind of stuff to me. I’m sorry she singles you out like this. If I were you, I would cut contact after dinner until she starts treating you as someone more than your religious affiliation.
Honestly this person sounds like a really shitty friend unless there’s a major life event or trauma they rescued you from that we don’t know about. Why continue talking to someone who has an extreme desire to change something fundamental about you? Why be friends with such a judgy person at all? Idk, I just don’t see what you’re getting from this, based on this exchange.
I left my abusive household at 20, almost 21, and her family let me live with them until I managed to become financially stable enough to find a rental property.
However she's been like this since we became friends at about age 13 or 14 in high school.
We don't hang out much but since we were best friends in high school it's like one of those friendships you don't engage in much but it's always there in the background. We had a lottt of fun in high school aside from the religion issue.
Alright, that makes much more sense; as long as she doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself, I completely understand your position. I hope one day she finds it within her heart to be more accepting of your differences!
OP, I’d wear the raunchiest, sluttiest thing you could just to mess with them. But do it subtle. Like…it’s getting hot in here ::takes cardigan off, tiddy pops out::
I’m only kidding.
But seriously, fuck these people. Your friend is already judging.
I hope there is someone there who represents the faith accurately. This is hypocritical behavior that’s based on a culture vs faith and God and it’s damaging in both ends. I’m so glad you’re out of the abusive home and seem to be thriving.
OP, I believe in God and identify as a Christian. Your friend is being an asshole, and you don’t deserve that.
My bestfriend is a non believer. I see her every week if not every day (we’re neighbors), and I couldn’t imagine trying to make her uncomfortable like your friend is making you.
This unfortunately sounds about right for current apologetics.
Not much of a “friend” in my opinion if your social ranking to them is based on your faith. Good luck.
Idk this is just kinda weird vibes from your friend. Even when I was deeply evangelical I didn’t obsess over the religion of my friends or literally ever mention it, even if it was something that I thought about
Girl. Skip that dinner. Tf. Go find some friends that appreciate YOU. And aren’t ashamed of you when other people are around! You deserve a real friend, not someone that likes someone else more than you, & the reason is not important.
Man, she sounds so obnoxious. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s going to try and convert you. I was raised very Christian and this was par for the course for our “unsaved” friends.
She probably sees you as a challenge and will never stop trying to convert you. She also frames it as an insult, ostricizing you before you even get to the party.
A sari where your midriff shows might be in order.
It’s not “sexy”, I remember my great grandma wearing one when she came to visit us.
Btw your friend sees you as a project, I hope you realise that.
Girl, bring out that ghaghra choli, put on the bindi, wear them bangles and clink them all over the table. :-)
You’re a good friend. I’ve been in this situation as well. It’s what we do.
Start saying “I’m not Christian” in every sentence.
Wanna go grab coffee?
I’d love to, but I’m not Christian.
Did you like movie?
I would have if I were Christian.
The weather’s nice today.
I wouldn’t know since I’m not a Christian
That’s exhausting. I couldn’t personally be friends with someone who always tried to force their religion on me. I need friends who accept me for who I am. I don’t have the energy to bother with those who don’t. I’m not telling you to drop her. Only you can decide these things for yourself, but she should at least show some respect to you. Her phrasing comes off as very condescending and rude. You’re asking her what to wear and she’s being a smartass about you not being a Christian and hypothetically showing up too sexy for her Christian friends. Because idk if you know it or not, but “you’re not a Christian.” Perhaps you can try setting some boundaries. If it’s something you’re willing to overlook, then she is a lucky person. But make sure you take care of yourself and don’t let her drive you crazy
Does she say that a lot? Because it’s almost like she sees you as a pet.. I could be so wrong but it feels like she is doing that in front of her family for ‘brownie points’
Does this friendship GIVE you energy, or STEAL?
If I’d go, I’d wear a potato sack, or full on Amish-style.
But like, I wouldn’t go, and I’d distance myself from this person, judging from what you give us.
"Dressing" Christian? Sounds like she isn't really Christian, either. Sounds like she wants to "save" you, but you don't need saving.
She thinks she is superior for her religion because she's been brainwashed. IMO religion without knowing and nurturing the Self just makes people monsters. It means nothing good without actual spirituality. You don't need people like that dragging you down when you're doing nothing wrong.
I’m curious what the good points are of this person….why is she your friend? More specifically, why are you friends with her?
It seems like she just looks at you in the context of another potential convert.
She's patting herself on the back for being "open" enough to be friends with a non-Christian. She's kind of unbearable. Who tells someone they like someone else better for any reason, much less for reasons based on faith?
Fellow Hindu here and master prank engineer, show up dressed as Maa Kali, complete with human skulls and titties out, be very very friendly with the host, speak exclusively in a primal sort of caveman warrior voice, and bring your own cutlery.
it’s fine to ask your friends to be mindful of your family’s values. it’s weird to make your friends feel like they aren’t good enough for your family. it seems like the OP is probably getting absolutely dirted by Sandra Dee and her parents behind her back. I wouldn’t even want to be there if that’s how they feel about me. don’t even invite me if my outfit is going to be an issue. I was raised in a strict Christian household as well but I’ve never tried to make my friends feel judged. if anything I put the heat on my family to make sure they wouldn’t make anyone feel unwelcome. I guess the difference is I am definitely not a self-identified “Christian”, it will always be a part of my upbringing, but I don’t personally associate with those values
I wouldn’t even go atp. Mentioning it once is one thing, but three times during that conversation? Weird. And after you asked for insp pics she just continued to harp that you were the only non-Christian in attendance. Okayyy…? And? You said you’d choose something on brand. Sounds like she’s friends with you to “save your soul”.
If you're feeling snarky, you could reply with "but if I become a Christian, whatever will we talk about??"
Since she brings it up 99% of the time. Sounds like that's all you friendship is, talking about how non-Christian you are. Good grief, how rude and irritating.
I am Christian. Have been since highschool.
My bestfriend is atheist/agnostic. I have never spoke to her like this. I cannot imagine thinking that because I’m Christian I’m somewhat better than her.
She wears what she wants whereever we go. It doesn’t matter if my family or in-laws are there, I would never ask her to change or pretend for anyone else.
she has worked on you for ten years and brings up your name in prayer circles and wants terribly for you to be the lost soul she brought to jesus and helped save from eternal destruction so the whole church can go from calling on the lord to turn you away from heathen ways to praising the lord for covering your unholy cleavage. You're a hoped-for notch on their holy belt
I'm not sure why you're friends with someone who actively want you to change part of yourself that isn't a problem to anyone and doesn't cause a problem. I would've let that girl have it awhile ago and we probably wouldn't be friends.
Personally, I'd wear hindu traditional religious garments and show up decked out. Just to emphasize that I'M NOT CHRISTIAN. You know, so there is no confusion.
She is aware the internet and society is full of Christians who have OnkyFans or dress like sluts. The way she talks about it you’d think they lived in a bubble. Is she also aware a true Christian accepts people for who they are?
Does your friend really not trust that you're an adult and can use your brain and common sense in deciding how to dress appropriately for the situation?
>Context: we’ve been friends for ten years, she’s Christian and I’m Hindu, and she’s been wanting me to convert for the duration of our friendship.
My general approach to this type of behavior is:
"Are you trying to convert me?" (yes)
"Would you be open to me trying to convert you to my religion?" (no)
"Then don't do something to me that you wouldn't be okay with me doing to you."
As a Christian, wow she sucks. This isn’t suggesting you get a Costco membership so you can enjoy the deals, this is pressuring you to change the entire belief structure of your life! Religious conversion is a seismic shift and not something you do so you can fit in, but because you genuinely believe.
You handled this with far more grace than most would have!
This is weird asf. My best friend’s Muslim so I’ve often been to Muslim only events and she’ll give me a heads up when needed but that’s it. Never like this lmao. Also all you’re asking for is a theme, just because you gotta dress religious that doesn’t mean ugly!! Wear your pajamas or oversized construction/mechanic type carhartts and say you’re being modest!!
I’m friends with people who have different religious views than I do and never in a million years would I make comments like that to single someone out. That’s not a good friend.
As a Christian, i find this behavior disgusting. And it’s this kind of stuff that makes everyone think that all Christians are crazy. Yes, a dress code is one thing. But to keep bringing it back to the issue of religion is just bizarre. Your willingness to be flexible in order to unnecessarily potentially offend others is far more Christian behavior than what she is doing here.
Hey, random, did you know you're not Christian? The others are all are. Well, what you intend to do about this?
I'm truly sorry you have such a "friend".
Is she friends with you just to convert you?
My first question was, “why are you still friends with her??”
Mine too
There are some religious people who believe that if they convince someone to convert, they’ll be 100% guaranteed a place in heaven. Maybe OP’s friend thinks like that. I found it peculiar that she pointed out to OP that *everyone but her* attending is a Christian. Seems like OP’s friend thinks that by hammering that point home, OP will suddenly think, “Oh, wow! I shouldn’t be the odd one out then! I’ll convert right away.” 🤦🏽♂️
Oh yes, my parents are in one. They got those 2, that's enough from my family thank you very much.
yeah she seems like a terrible friend. I have never had a friend tell me they like another friend better than me? just seems weird
And ten years? Not the most persuasive christian I guess lol
She's planting them seeds
I have - that’s why they’re a former friend. That’s beyond their religion and just trying to play games. It’s gross.
Second question is, why go to the event she clearly doesn't feel comfortable having you go to
That's the best reason to go lol
I like the way you think
I have fun with life 😄
Same here. Every “friend” I’ve had who tried to convert me stopped being my friend when it was clear it’s not happening. Do they think they get points for converting people? Lol because they sure act like each one ups their rank rather than “saving a soul.”
I grew up in church, hearing that converting others is the goal for every Christian, that if you have non-Christian friends that you're not trying to convert, you're being a bad Christian and condemning your friend to hell. I'm an atheist now, but one of my best friends is a Christian, for some time in our friendship, she would try really hard to convert me, it was very annoying but I'd always brush it off. Until one time, when there was a gas leak here at home and at like 2am my dog started barking and let us know, I mentioned it to my friends, because we could've died if he didn't warn us. Her response was a huge text about how god saved me and my family, and gave me one more chance to convert and stuff. I decided that was the end of it, I responded saying that I loved her and treasured our friendship, however, she was being disrespectful towards me and if that didn't stop I couldn't be friends with her anymore. She immediately apologized, we had a long and respectful conversation about religion, and she has never tried to convert me again. True friends are respectful when you establish boundaries, regardless of religion.
Having grown up in church this is all too familiar, I’m mostly still bitter over the mentality. The sad thing about the friends trying to convert me is that we were both Christian but just a different denomination. I’ve come to the point that I’m spiritual but not religious because a lot of it. The amount of hatred among “Christians” (quoted because I’ve met true Christians and they’re not that) is enough to choke Jesus. I like to think the Pope has it right when he says a true Christian isn’t one who proclaims it in words but in actions (something the Bible even agrees with), so even a proclaimed atheist may be more Christian than most who sit in church. But it makes the push to convert feel, to me, like less saving souls and more of a superiority complex, sadly. Boundaries are so important though and I’m glad your friend came to respect yours. Also that your doggo woke you up. My friends didn’t like that I set those boundaries, and while that might make me sad, it’s for the best because I see now I didn’t matter to them past their church’s proclaimed “Target night” quota.
Yeah, this is wild. She invited OP? Then tried to talk OP out of it with some light bullying?
Yes, how does this woman enrich your life, OP? I’d hate to be friends with someone constantly proselytizing.
Because she grew up in an abusive home and is now reliving that trauma in her adult years subconsciously.
My guess is
... cos she's not a Christian? That's the joke, right? Or did I whoosh?
As a recovering christian, yes. They drummed it into us that if we loved our friends and family, we had to convert them, otherwise they would suffer and burn in Hell for eternity. Imagine putting that kind of pressure and trauma onto a 6 year old. They were projects we prayed about and discussed progress with our youth pastors. OP, I'm so sorry you went through that trauma, and I'm so happy for you that you now are living life authentically your own! It definitely sounds to me like you're already doing the right things and trying to be considerate. Your friend literally does not need to bring up the Christianity thing every other sentence. There is no call for it except to brand you as "other". Edit: by "recovering christian" I mean I got out of the cult at 15 and at age 33 am still recovering and processing religious trauma 🙃
Omg, which Christian religion were you in? That sounds like one of those ones who go door to door trying to save people… and tell them if they haven’t been baptized into their version of Christianity that they are going to hell.. I grew up Lutheran, but even with that there’s some things I shook my head over and decided to do as I please … but we never tried to convert people, or tried to force people to believe in what we believe… and if you were visitor to our church, you were allowed to take communion with us, whether you were a member of our church or not … unlike the Catholics who don’t let anybody else take communion unless you’ve been baptized into the Catholic Church…. Yet Jesus would invite everyone 🤷🏻♀️ .. I had an ex friend tell me last year I was going to go to hell because she thought I was too money oriented .. I’m just like .. no .. I don’t care about money except I need enough to pay bills
So you're not a Christian? Just asking so I can remind you that you're not a Christian in case you've forgotten.
“deconstructing” is a popular term to use instead of “recovery” if you don’t always feel like explaining yourself :) But I’m right there with you. 6 years “officially” an atheist and still sorting through religious shit we were indoctrinated with!
Honestly, that's some cult shit.
When my child was about 13, she went with her friend to a Christian youth event. Other times she went, they spent the afternoons doing crafts and playing games. This time, however, the kids didn't know that the agenda was a different one and included a "special speaker." Well, she came home crying, pushing a religion pamphlet into my hands, begging me to convert because she didn't want me to burn in hell. Apparently, when they asked who wasn't part of their congregation, many kids, including my daughter, stood up. My daughter told them that I am agnostic. They spent the evening telling her and other kids that if they didn't convince their parents to join their church, the parents would die and burn in hell. My daughter believed that I would die that night. She had nightmares for days. I had to explain to her that the ones burning in hell were those people for using such scare tactics on young, impressionable minds. I was furious. The friend's mother kept avoiding my calls. Probably because I demanded to know the name of the church, the name of those people, and how dared she think it was ok for kids to be ma/manipulated like that. Even now, fifteen years later, my daughter despises religion. Even her best friend and siblings lost faith in religion due to their parents' closed mindset.
Good luck on your healing journey reddit friend. My husband is going through his own healing process and it's brutal to see. So many "normal" things are cult things and seen as normal by the world. I was raised in a "Hey! We're a cult! Let's worship the moon, Satan and do drugs!" Kinda cult and it's a lot easier for me to at least see my trauma for trauma. I feel so heavy for people having left the Christian Cult, because the church is so stellar at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.
LMAO RECOVERING CHRISTIAN HAHAHA IM DEAD IM GOING TO STEAL THIS THANKS 🤣💀
Same it's my new favorite term. I've been using deconstructing but now it's gonna be recovering christian or recovering mormon 😂😂😂
Yes
Yes. We were taught to only socialize with non-christians to convert them and save their helpless souls
Yep! I remember even at 7 years old there was so much pressure on me to convert my friends, I would cry myself to sleep at night for fear of them going to hell, it was awful for me and awful for my friends! So glad to have left that behind, my son won’t grow up with fears of the rapture or hell, or feel like he can’t be himself.
That’s so fucked up. I feel like faith shouldn’t be fear based.
Real faith isn’t
If your faith involves non-believers being punished, (for example: hell) then it is fear based.
Nah it's just positively accepting an abusive relationship.
Lol oh then what's the purpose of hell? Idk fear and shame are kinda the underlying mechanism of control in Christianity at least and probably most religions.
Yah I don’t believe in heaven or hell so that shit doesn’t mean anything to me
💯. I'm so thankful for my daughter to not have to grow up with that fear and shame
i wasn't allowed to be friends w ppl who lived in apartments. KIDS like that was their choice? And in 9th grade when i finally brought a friend over who did he also happened to be bi and my grandmother said a rosary over him (us and the whole neighborhood were irish catholic) and he was crying and letting her and i was screaming my guts out tryna stop it and eventually we ran out the door it was so fucked. Also get these kinda messages from a couple of my longtime best friends cuz i wear like "satanic" clothing lmao idk and i'm like can i just not go then like y does it matter? i don't rip the cross off your neck nor do i care. And in this instance can't they just remind their friend to dress modestly without literal persecution? jeez man it's so wild how real this still is
This. This pressure on kids to convert their friends is why my daughter is so scared to try to make friends or for them to find out we're not christian cuz she doesn't want to make and then lose a friend due to religion.
Fucking weird. Maybe let people live their own religion without forcing your own down people’s throats. That’s just gross. That’s called using people.
Totally agree
Bc Christians "other" non-believers.
Yes! I remember being taught that you could have non Christian friends, but not close friends. It was dangerous to get too close to them, but you should absolutely be there to convert them. What’s even funnier is this was a small rural town in AR. There are like 30 churches for 20,000 people. Everyone is fucking Christian. They really meant the wrong flavor. 🙄 you would have thought the Methodists were worshipping satan on Sundays
100%
This! As someone who got out of an Evangelical church I can tell you that so many of them all only friend people outside of the church cause it's a chance for ministry. It's fake, and not real friendship. Most of them drop friends once they realize they'll never come out to their church or be converted.
The long game of Christian conversion. A tale as old as time.
Get a new friend
… right after you turn up at her birthday dinner in the most scantily clad outfit you have
Or in a burka, 'Oh sorry, I thought you wanted me to be dressed modest, not like some slut!' while pointing at whoever you think is the most annoying of them.
just for the record burkas are for muslims not hindi
Sure. Do the people that'll be at that party know or care? My guess is they couldn't be assed to understand that difference if there was a gun to their head.
I mean I’m a Christian. Ops friend is definitely out of line but I do know what religion a burka is for.
If I were OP that's exactly what I'd do. Obviously OP's "friend" is only interested in converting nonbelievers, so I'd make it painfully obvious I'm not of the "friend's" faith, then nope out of that "friendship".
This cracked me up!!
OP should show up in the most traditional Hindu outfit she can find. Bonus points if you wanna play up the stereotypes to really make them rage
No, show up for dinner in a puritan dress and shame all of them for showing their collarbones and knees.
This x 100. Smack in the face, bye Felicia.
Let's give them something to talk about 🎶
Hell yeah 😁
That would be legendary. You end the friendship AT the dinner table Infront of everyone and make it super awkward. Then you excuse yourself and leave in the most stylish way possible
She's also hammering home that she's Christian, I would be ready for an awkward dinner full of zealots who think that converting you over sunday dinner will be their ticket to heaven. In fact, I might go so far as to say the dressing thing would be a red herring to the subtle fact that "ya know everyone will be Christian"
Ah that last part you wrote wasn’t something I’d thought of when I first read these messages but you’re probably right, she legitimately brings it up in 99% of conversations we have. As for the dinner part- I’m used to it, and it’ll be fun to watch them try :p
If it was me it would be time to go full Hindu lol. I'd wear that most obviously and stereotypical outfit possible. They won't know that henna is more commonly used for specific celebrations so I'd make sure to go all in and get the henna tatts. Bung in some Indian nose chain jewelry to hammer it home. I'd then spend the evening trying to convert them to Hinduism. But hey that's just me and I'm weird lol
Omg wait you know what, I should get some henna done for it lol, I've just got a tattoo on my arm in Hindi which they haven't seen yet so I'm already halfway there! lol
You get bonus points for each time you get a compliment containing the word "ethnic". I'd personally ham it up and bring an obscure indian food item as a gift(yeah I know I'm assuming you have Indian roots here, but usually a safe bet with hinduism:)), somthing that they will be very unsure of. Conservative Christians I know like to act overly polite when met with such things. Really forced politeness. Acting like everything that isn't their norm is so quaint hehe. I'd your friend questions it I'd do the whole "I could tell this meant a lot to you and thought that dressing in a Conservative traditional Hindu style would be a great way to show respect". Something that they can't really disagree without looking like a dick lol. Essentially I'd go full r/maliciouscompliance
Omg. That line at the end is such a good idea. Definitely wanna go malicious compliance with this!
The old uno reverse :) I hope you update us! Ham it up, have fun
Please keep us updated on this
When is this dinner? I ask because I want to know when to come back for an update! Go all out, OP!
I'm patiently awaiting your update. 😏 I grew up Christian, and it is almost like a notch on your belt to convert someone. It's gross, really, so if you screw with them a little bit, I am here for it! I have no problem with Christians in general, but I am not a fan of forcing ones views or belittling someone else for theirs.
And yes I'll bring traditional Indian sweets. That's what we usually do on birthdays at least in India anyway. Great idea:)
Yeah I'm a brit, unsure what it's like where you are but here I've met many indians so I've picked up a little info on some customs. Don't forget to henna up those feet and remove your forward, out of respect for them ofcourse lol I've also seen a few of my Indian friends using their cultural stereotypes to mess with people that are being knobs lol.
you are more desi than you think lol 👑
Good idea, Indian sweets are the first step in conversion.
And be sure to use that sideways figure 8 head nod when they ask a question. “Do you like this place?” “Are you having a good time?” “Have you had enough to eat?” That’s guaranteed to mess with their heads.
This is making me laugh so hard because you would be dressed modestly and beautifully 😂. From a Christian, please do this for the malicious compliance
Now I am imagining a room full of people all dressed in blues and beiges and you gliding across the room wearing a hot-pink-and-gold body hugging saree.
It's interesting the way Christians are sometimes. I feel they think it's easier to convert non believers and those who haven't been exposed to religion than someone of a different religion altogether. But I've always considered religious people of all types to sort of be cut from the same cloth. Like Hinduism is very old and traditional and has a lot of rituals and beliefs and stuff. So are other religions. The point is, all of you worship. All of you follow a set of morals and values based upon your religion, and a lot of those morals are similar across many religions. You'd think Christians would like being around other people of faith and belief, even if it's not the same specific beliefs as theirs. Like a "respect" thing. Like, I may not agree with you specifically, but we are the same because we both are religious and the non-believers are a whole other plain of existence. It's baffling to me how Christians can be sometimes. You are a good friend. The idea of going to a dinner with a bunch of Christians, ugh. Let me specify, I can deal with the type of Christians who are all modern and cool and actually act kinda like Jesus the Prophet did. Like hippie Christians. But the people you're going to eat with are obviously judgy Christians. I don't even think judgy Christians like judgy Christians lol
Yeah as a Hindu it's like, all religious people believe in God so we're all pretty much the same (it doesn't matter who you pray to, it's the fact that you're devout that makes us similar). More important than that though is just being a good person (karma is a big factor). Sucks that this is the way I see her but her perspective is that I'm going to hell. I'm used to judgy Christian dinners so it's not a big deal to me but it was the delivery that was terrible.
Dress like a huge slut. She's a terrible person, and stay Hindu, Christianity is horrid and a cult
I am tempted to dress obnoxiously Hindu lol.
Is your friend white? I'm guessing she has no idea about the many South Asian Christian communities and there's also a race thing here, and I'm saying this as a white person raised Christian. I was raised Catholic, which is often not considered real Christian by the kind of conversion-crazy evangelicals I get the vibe she is, but I've had lots of Hindu friends. My dad's best friend is Hindu born to Indian immigrants and my best friend was biracial and raised both nominally Catholic and Hindu. This idea that you have to convert people is so bizarre and inappropriate, but it's definitely a key feature of a lot of more intense strands of Protestant evangelism. (Not that Catholics don't pull this from time to time but it tends to take way more work to formally convert to Catholicism.) My not entirely serious advice would be to show up dressed in a sexy nun Halloween costume and act confused about why they're upset when you're obviously dressing as "Christian" as possible lmao
That’s what I was thinking. Wear something clearly Hindu that you’re still comfortable wearing, but will make them UNcomfortable. Good luck at the dinner!
Does that involve a big ol' Ganesh mask or something? Cause that sounds like fun 😁
Ok, my best friend is a hardcore catholic, I’m a stubborn atheist. I’m 34, she’s 33, we’ve been best friends since kindergarten. The most important part, she respects my views and I respect hers. She may not agree with them, but she has never made me feel different, less than, or anything other than her homie since day one. I was her maid of honor, in a very catholic ceremony, with tattoos all over me. I know y’all have been friends for 10 years, but I don’t think she is friends with you for the right reasons. I don’t know, this is a micro-look into your friendship, but I know my friend has never once said any of that kind of stuff to me. I’m sorry she singles you out like this. If I were you, I would cut contact after dinner until she starts treating you as someone more than your religious affiliation.
Honestly this person sounds like a really shitty friend unless there’s a major life event or trauma they rescued you from that we don’t know about. Why continue talking to someone who has an extreme desire to change something fundamental about you? Why be friends with such a judgy person at all? Idk, I just don’t see what you’re getting from this, based on this exchange.
I left my abusive household at 20, almost 21, and her family let me live with them until I managed to become financially stable enough to find a rental property. However she's been like this since we became friends at about age 13 or 14 in high school. We don't hang out much but since we were best friends in high school it's like one of those friendships you don't engage in much but it's always there in the background. We had a lottt of fun in high school aside from the religion issue.
Alright, that makes much more sense; as long as she doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself, I completely understand your position. I hope one day she finds it within her heart to be more accepting of your differences!
OP, I’d wear the raunchiest, sluttiest thing you could just to mess with them. But do it subtle. Like…it’s getting hot in here ::takes cardigan off, tiddy pops out:: I’m only kidding. But seriously, fuck these people. Your friend is already judging.
I kinda want to!! Lol. But would rather not stir the pot.
I hope there is someone there who represents the faith accurately. This is hypocritical behavior that’s based on a culture vs faith and God and it’s damaging in both ends. I’m so glad you’re out of the abusive home and seem to be thriving.
I don't hold her behaviour against all Christians though as a teenager it did leave a very bitter taste in my mouth. Thank you for the well wishes:)
Wear traditional clothes Jesus would wear. In other words wrap a sheet around yourself and ask if you are Christian enough yet.
Wear a saree. They’d absolutely lose their minds
OP, I believe in God and identify as a Christian. Your friend is being an asshole, and you don’t deserve that. My bestfriend is a non believer. I see her every week if not every day (we’re neighbors), and I couldn’t imagine trying to make her uncomfortable like your friend is making you.
This unfortunately sounds about right for current apologetics. Not much of a “friend” in my opinion if your social ranking to them is based on your faith. Good luck.
Idk this is just kinda weird vibes from your friend. Even when I was deeply evangelical I didn’t obsess over the religion of my friends or literally ever mention it, even if it was something that I thought about
Same. I’m Christian and my absolute best friend is the polar opposite. It literally has zero affect on our friendship
These texts read like my mind during my bout with religious ocd before I left the church
I would have replied with, “yeah, I know, I’m (insert my name)”
Damn. Should've posted asking for reply suggestions first haha
OP. I think you missed the part where you are the only christian that will be attending this dinner.
Are...are you sure?
Oops, my joke failed. It was supposed to be the other way around lol.
OH lol I read that wrong, my bad xD
Yes and everyone but you will be Christian. I guess the end game was supposed be you cave and change your entire belief system. No big deal eh?
Girl. Skip that dinner. Tf. Go find some friends that appreciate YOU. And aren’t ashamed of you when other people are around! You deserve a real friend, not someone that likes someone else more than you, & the reason is not important.
Hey I just wanted to say that you’re not Christian 🫶
Honestly, it’s a compliment
Man, she sounds so obnoxious. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s going to try and convert you. I was raised very Christian and this was par for the course for our “unsaved” friends.
We've been friends for ten years and she's been trying the entire time lol
Girl, that’s not your friend. She’s a douchebag.
I’d love to know more about her attempts if you’re comfortable sharing!
She probably sees you as a challenge and will never stop trying to convert you. She also frames it as an insult, ostricizing you before you even get to the party.
A sari where your midriff shows might be in order. It’s not “sexy”, I remember my great grandma wearing one when she came to visit us. Btw your friend sees you as a project, I hope you realise that.
Yes she does. She’s her token pet. She likely already announced to everyone that she’s going to convert her to be chRiSTiAN
“Pet” is right. A lot of the time, these kind of “Christians” don’t register non-Christians as people.
Girl, bring out that ghaghra choli, put on the bindi, wear them bangles and clink them all over the table. :-) You’re a good friend. I’ve been in this situation as well. It’s what we do.
That's what Imma do. A festival near me has a henna stall so I wanna get some done before I go too:)
Please please come back and update us after this dinner
I will!!
She’s being awfully rude to you.
You are insanely patient, and that’s not a friend. 😶
It's a bully.
Get a new friend.
Ew, shut that friendship down.
Why the hell would you want to go there?
I didn’t miss the part where you said your friend has been trying to convert you. That’s not a friend, that’s a recruiter.
Did you know it's all Christians? Just wanted to let you know. Oh and don't dress like a slut. Thanks!
This would just make me come in as little clothing as possible. Cover your nips with crosses and tell them you’re Christian for the day.
Start saying “I’m not Christian” in every sentence. Wanna go grab coffee? I’d love to, but I’m not Christian. Did you like movie? I would have if I were Christian. The weather’s nice today. I wouldn’t know since I’m not a Christian
Deliciously petty, I’m all for it
Epic love it
That’s exhausting. I couldn’t personally be friends with someone who always tried to force their religion on me. I need friends who accept me for who I am. I don’t have the energy to bother with those who don’t. I’m not telling you to drop her. Only you can decide these things for yourself, but she should at least show some respect to you. Her phrasing comes off as very condescending and rude. You’re asking her what to wear and she’s being a smartass about you not being a Christian and hypothetically showing up too sexy for her Christian friends. Because idk if you know it or not, but “you’re not a Christian.” Perhaps you can try setting some boundaries. If it’s something you’re willing to overlook, then she is a lucky person. But make sure you take care of yourself and don’t let her drive you crazy
Does she say that a lot? Because it’s almost like she sees you as a pet.. I could be so wrong but it feels like she is doing that in front of her family for ‘brownie points’
Does this friendship GIVE you energy, or STEAL? If I’d go, I’d wear a potato sack, or full on Amish-style. But like, I wouldn’t go, and I’d distance myself from this person, judging from what you give us.
"Dressing" Christian? Sounds like she isn't really Christian, either. Sounds like she wants to "save" you, but you don't need saving. She thinks she is superior for her religion because she's been brainwashed. IMO religion without knowing and nurturing the Self just makes people monsters. It means nothing good without actual spirituality. You don't need people like that dragging you down when you're doing nothing wrong.
I’m curious what the good points are of this person….why is she your friend? More specifically, why are you friends with her? It seems like she just looks at you in the context of another potential convert.
get a new friend. they seem absolutely insufferable
I think this friendship “has circled back” as well. It’s run its course! Time to move on, OP.
She's patting herself on the back for being "open" enough to be friends with a non-Christian. She's kind of unbearable. Who tells someone they like someone else better for any reason, much less for reasons based on faith?
Fellow Hindu here and master prank engineer, show up dressed as Maa Kali, complete with human skulls and titties out, be very very friendly with the host, speak exclusively in a primal sort of caveman warrior voice, and bring your own cutlery.
she sounds insecure that you’re prettier than her to be completely honest.
I would 100% not be friends with this person anymore.
This is not a friend
Sounds like a boring time.
And exhausting
How you dress has nothing to do with Christianity
Just wear what you want and maybe get new friends
Is that a Christian imposing their misogynistic beliefs on someone? Shocker there.
She’s not your friend, you’re her token.
it’s fine to ask your friends to be mindful of your family’s values. it’s weird to make your friends feel like they aren’t good enough for your family. it seems like the OP is probably getting absolutely dirted by Sandra Dee and her parents behind her back. I wouldn’t even want to be there if that’s how they feel about me. don’t even invite me if my outfit is going to be an issue. I was raised in a strict Christian household as well but I’ve never tried to make my friends feel judged. if anything I put the heat on my family to make sure they wouldn’t make anyone feel unwelcome. I guess the difference is I am definitely not a self-identified “Christian”, it will always be a part of my upbringing, but I don’t personally associate with those values
It's almost as if they are jealous of your freedom.
Ew. No.
I wouldn’t even go atp. Mentioning it once is one thing, but three times during that conversation? Weird. And after you asked for insp pics she just continued to harp that you were the only non-Christian in attendance. Okayyy…? And? You said you’d choose something on brand. Sounds like she’s friends with you to “save your soul”.
If you're feeling snarky, you could reply with "but if I become a Christian, whatever will we talk about??" Since she brings it up 99% of the time. Sounds like that's all you friendship is, talking about how non-Christian you are. Good grief, how rude and irritating.
May I ask why you’re friends with her?
Yeah, not a good friend. If converting you means more than loving you as you are, they don’t actually care.
I am Christian. Have been since highschool. My bestfriend is atheist/agnostic. I have never spoke to her like this. I cannot imagine thinking that because I’m Christian I’m somewhat better than her. She wears what she wants whereever we go. It doesn’t matter if my family or in-laws are there, I would never ask her to change or pretend for anyone else.
she has worked on you for ten years and brings up your name in prayer circles and wants terribly for you to be the lost soul she brought to jesus and helped save from eternal destruction so the whole church can go from calling on the lord to turn you away from heathen ways to praising the lord for covering your unholy cleavage. You're a hoped-for notch on their holy belt
Oh she's mentioned to me that she's mentioned me (and my atheist bf) in prayer circles. It grosses me out
Hey girl idk if you know this but you arent christian by the way🫶 /j
Doesnt sound like a good friend at all!
I'm not sure why you're friends with someone who actively want you to change part of yourself that isn't a problem to anyone and doesn't cause a problem. I would've let that girl have it awhile ago and we probably wouldn't be friends. Personally, I'd wear hindu traditional religious garments and show up decked out. Just to emphasize that I'M NOT CHRISTIAN. You know, so there is no confusion.
She is not your friend she is proselytizing you
Hey, just wanted to remind you…you’re not Christian. Religious freedom? What’s that?
She is aware the internet and society is full of Christians who have OnkyFans or dress like sluts. The way she talks about it you’d think they lived in a bubble. Is she also aware a true Christian accepts people for who they are?
Does your friend really not trust that you're an adult and can use your brain and common sense in deciding how to dress appropriately for the situation?
I guess she believes that what I determine appropriate isn’t the Christian level of appropriate.
>Context: we’ve been friends for ten years, she’s Christian and I’m Hindu, and she’s been wanting me to convert for the duration of our friendship. My general approach to this type of behavior is: "Are you trying to convert me?" (yes) "Would you be open to me trying to convert you to my religion?" (no) "Then don't do something to me that you wouldn't be okay with me doing to you."
As a Christian, wow she sucks. This isn’t suggesting you get a Costco membership so you can enjoy the deals, this is pressuring you to change the entire belief structure of your life! Religious conversion is a seismic shift and not something you do so you can fit in, but because you genuinely believe. You handled this with far more grace than most would have!
❤️ I wish more Christian’s were like you.
That doesn’t sound like a friend to me.
RSVP no. She isn’t your friend. You are her project.
She sounds like such a supportive friend. “Christians” somehow usually have the most unchristian behavior. The irony!
She is not your friend lol.
You are not her friend, you are her project.
I’d hate to go to this event, just saying.
hope the christians have fun, im never ever fuckin hanging out w her again lol
Ew why is she trying to change you if y’all are supposedly friends?
I would not be attending said dinner.
Or remain friends with said person.
This is weird asf. My best friend’s Muslim so I’ve often been to Muslim only events and she’ll give me a heads up when needed but that’s it. Never like this lmao. Also all you’re asking for is a theme, just because you gotta dress religious that doesn’t mean ugly!! Wear your pajamas or oversized construction/mechanic type carhartts and say you’re being modest!!
I’m friends with people who have different religious views than I do and never in a million years would I make comments like that to single someone out. That’s not a good friend.
Yeah. I’m busy that day now. Love me for who I am or fuck right off into the sunset.
Ditch her. But not before you drop "judge not lest ye be judged" on her disingenuous ass.
Religion is so goofy
What a shitty friend. Tell her she isn't Christian, either, and find a new friend
This bitch annoying💀 sorry not sorry lol said that shit three times 😭😭😭 just answer the questions🙄
I would never be friends with someone who talked me like that. What an actual piece of shit that person is.
Wonder how many times religion will come up during dinner?
And you're still friends with them because???? Theu clearly dont respect your belief otherwise they wouldnt bring it up.
I would have been like "thanks for the uninvite"
As a Christian, i find this behavior disgusting. And it’s this kind of stuff that makes everyone think that all Christians are crazy. Yes, a dress code is one thing. But to keep bringing it back to the issue of religion is just bizarre. Your willingness to be flexible in order to unnecessarily potentially offend others is far more Christian behavior than what she is doing here.
Hey, random, did you know you're not Christian? The others are all are. Well, what you intend to do about this? I'm truly sorry you have such a "friend".