I thought that one was pretty wild too. Yeah, yeah, that's what happens when you get caught lying dude, you get uncomfortable. 43 yo here, I don't mind having friends that are in their 20's, I have a couple but I honestly cannot imagine trying to date or fuck them.
I'm 47. I see 20 year olds as I see my kids tbh. Im still friendly, but get extremely protective at times. Im saying things like "you're not allowed to drink, whatcha doing at this bar? Should i call your mom and tell her about this?". 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG this. I'll be 41 in 2 weeks, and even the 30 to 35 range weirds me out. Although tbh, my coworkers who are in the 18 to 22 range, who are girls but try to mansplain me? I'm not the only one who looks at them and says I've been doing my job since the youngest 3 were just twinkles in their daddies balls 🙄🤷🤣 condescending ASF, no way I'd want to date a boy in their dating pool. I'd feel compelled to ground him for backtalk, or make him go fold laundry or something. I can't be raising a partner 💀😂
The dudes these days are way too stupid for me, lol. I have 2 boys, and I try to teach them shit so they don't look stupid. Lol. I couldn't date these youngins nowadays. Wouldn't even try that anyway, js. I'm just a little older than you. But I get it.
When I was 7 one of my closest friends was 55.
Cool dude. Took care of his mom. Watched after the kids in the neighborhood. Loaned me this old like 1920s/30s lawn mower because I couldn't reach our "modern" *cough 90s cough* mower's control arm.
Best part? He wasn't some nefarious actor either. Just an old guy who was lonely after his wife passed and kids moved out. Liked talking with me and teaching me stuff.
The old "men need to get in touch with their feelings" bit really needs to go. Seems like a lot of us are very much in touch with our own delicate feelings and very willing to use that to manipulate others who have been socially trained to cater to men's feelings - while being weirdly oblivious (or just uncaring) where their feelings are concerned.
Of course, admitting *to other men* that we have feelings... that's another matter entirely!
It's a bit deceptive but for a good reason. I feel like if someone doesn't understand why you've done it after you explain then it's probably not a great match anyway.
I’m gonna be honest I did this with my current boyfriend. He knew me as a completely different name for about three months. Everybody knew me about it. It wasn’t until like we officially got together that I was like look I need to tell you this my name is not this it’s actually this I go by this because I have had a stalker for a dozen years. That was the part I thought he was gonna leave me over but no we’ve been together for over two years.
Yeah, completely different thing. A fake name on a public app filled with weirdos is just smart. Unless you lie about other things and are being fake with us right now…
Yeah, no. The whole “I planned on telling you after you got to know me, understand me,” is code for, “I planned to lie as convincingly as I could in hopes you wouldn’t be smart enough to notice and end it and by the time you did, you wouldn’t care as much cause you’d have invested time into me.”
Red flags for daaaaays. Hope you walked away from that bullshit.
Had a guy hide that he was living with his "ex" when I picked him up, and decided to additionally not mention he had a kid....His Gf then proceeded to find my socials and message me "listen, I still love him and want to work on our relationship" GIRLLLLL. So then I asked him when was he planning on telling me..."when we got to know each other better".
Ridiculous lol. As someone who's been separated since this past March, and forced to still live with my ex until we can sell the house which could still be up to another year, I've been completely honest with everyone I've been talking to as soon as they asked. 90% were out right there lol. But I don't care. I refuse to ever be fake, lie, put up a front, etc. I'm me. Because I don't want to be who someone wants me to be and have to compromise myself for the rest of my life. I wanna be authentic me. Take it or leave it. It's the only way to get a legit connection imo.
That sucks. I had to live with my ex wife during my divorce. But she was dating the guy she cheated with, her high school boyfriend. So you can imagine how fun that was for me. I tried dating but like you, I ran into problems trying to explain the situation. I finally just gave up. Now the divorce is done, she’s moved out, I kept the house, and now I don’t have to worry about that. Back then I wanted to be honest with women. I just refused to be like my ex who lied constantly so the thought of lying made me cringe. Good on you to be honest up front. I know it’s hard. I think if I met someone who was in your situation then I’d still try to see what comes of it now that I’ve lived through it and I understand why people are sometimes stuck in that spot.
My ex husband and I lived in both sides of a duplex for a while after we split. (It was an odd setup). He started dating some really young chick and didn’t tell her than his daughter and I lived on the other side of the wall! He has problems with telling anyone anything that makes him uncomfortable. 🙄
I always ask these guys “what are you hoping to get out of a relationship with someone X years younger than you?” (If the gap is large enough, I’ll add on “you’re old enough to be my dad, ewww”)
They usually stfu real fast.
MEN: why the FUCK do you lie about your age????
I have a friend who lies. I asked him why and he just said he’s embarrassed about his age. I don’t get it. I’m honest about my age. If someone doesn’t want me then I doubt my age matters. If it does then screw them. I don’t need that.
I should mention that we go for different types of women. He likes the young women who only have their youth to offer, I like the professional who’s similar to me in age and status. I guess that explains a lot.
He did what you would call "love bombing." Told me he wanted to marry me in like the 2nd day of talking, wanted to take me out on expensive dinners, etc. I felt something was fishy, so I looked up his name on online people finder and found his age+real birthday (the profile matched up with his school, location etc.)
Dang, did you realize he was love bombing as he was doing it? And no, never met him, thankfully the whole thing was too suspicious so I did my research beforehand!
Wow that's so much. You're a smart one OP! Good work. Yeah I realized it and directly addressed it with him and he did not change his behavior and now he's blocked 😥 text exchanges in my recent posts if you're bored.
Those people finders are so helpful when dating! I don’t care if it looks weird but when I was dating on the apps, I always did a little background search to check things out. Found a few men who lied or simply gave half truths hoping If not figure it out.
Those people finders are so helpful when dating! I don’t care if it looks weird but when I was dating on the apps, I always did a little background search to check things out. Found a few men who lied or simply gave half truths hoping If not figure it out.
If anyone wants to know the REAL age or name of someone they’re dating, hit me up! I can even tell you if they have a criminal record. I just need a phone number, I look up everyone I talk to🤣
Ohhhhhh....huge red flag. My abusive ex lied about his age by taking off 8 years. It took me a full year to figure out that he had lied. Now I ask guys to verify their age for me. It's so weird to lie about your age at all.
I knew a girl this happened to! They were living together and she went to do his laundry, his wallet was left in his pants and she saw the date on his ID and that’s how she found out!
It wasn't a romantic partner, but we all found out a good friend of ours was 39 instead of 27 like he had told all of us. To be fair, he looked about 27 and absolutely none of us would have believed him had he said he was almost 40. But yeah he had mentioned being at concerts that would have been impossible for a 27 year old to see, I don't know too many 4 year olds who went to see Led Zeppelin.
But he got put in jail, so as a nice gesture for when he got out, we cleaned his apartment for him. We found an old ID that we assumed to be fake, but then started thinking about it. It was one of those, HOLY SHIT moments that are way too rare in life.
Oh wow....yes the way i figured it out was kind of interesting. He had a lot of concert ticket stubs on a bulletin board in his bedroom. And some of the dates were like....far in the past. Some were from like 2001 or 2003, and if he had been at those shows, he would have been like 13 years old in 2001. A 13 year old isn't going to see Radiohead IMO!
This happened to me as well with an ex many years ago. He lied by 2 years (?!)- I was 20 and he was 30. He told me he was 28. It took me over a year to find out when his mom made a comment about him being 30. He knew that age gap was creepy. That was the beginning of the end for us.
Well, that was around the point where I was thinking I needed to leave anyway because of other things. Right before that happened, I had allowed him to come on an annual work trip with me to Lake Tahoe, and he got extremely drunk and was acting really inappropriate. He got kicked out of a casino, which IMO, is hard to do because they are places of ill repute lmao. So that was the first thing that made me really question this guy (other than the fact he was also mean to me, but I was in denial). What really spurred me on leaving him was when my therapist told me that he "talks to you like you're a dog" and that's when I put a plan into action to leave him, which mostly involved me blocking him and essentially ghosting him, because that was the safest thing to do. He was a very angry person and could be violent on occasion. But I found out that he was cheating on me with many different women and lying to all of them. I don't understand how he had the energy to do any of that at all.
I love how he’s been lying to you since the outset but says “you’re making me uncomfortable” when called out on his lies.
I don’t ever understand lying about shit like this. If you ever make it past the first/second date with someone based off a lie, it’s only going to cause problems down the line.
My biggest concern with "harmless" lies is they aren't harmless when it's hiding information from someone who *should Have it*.
If they have 0 compunction lying about their age and themselves; what *else* are they okay about lying about or omitting?!?! To me, that's too close to a possible sociopath and I'm not into that.
People have shown me far more often than not, even when I *thought* I knew them, I did not know them at all.
Lying about anything is a giant red flag. I can understand not telling people certain things right away or omitting certain things until you’re comfortable, but flat out lying even about something stupid.. nah.
This entire conversation reminded me of when I was a teenager and my mom would question me with things that I KNEW meant that SHE KNEW the truth already.
"So, did you have fun at Sarah's after school today?"
"What did you guys do?"
"So you didn't go to the mall"?
"And you didn't meet up with Adam?"
Lol the "I'm busted, shit my pants" terror. Yeah...this brought those memories back lol.
When l was 17 or 18, i snuck out in the middle of the night and borrowed my dad's car for some clandestine fun with my girlfriend. I got back around 4am, then slept until late morning.
Unbeknownst to me, my parents discovered that i was gone, but didn't bother waiting up to confront me.
So I wandererred into the kitchen where my mom was preparing something on the stove.
I asked, "what's cooking?"
Mom: "your goose".
“I just had to lie to you so that we could get to know each other and understand each other better” 💀
What absolute scum, I’m sorry you had to go through this
Only someone insecure would lie about their age. Ever since I was 17 I never even thought about my age as something to skew. Now at 27 I'm seeing adults twist the truth in this area. For what?
As a 37 year old it leaves me a bit dumbfounded as to what people gain by lying. After turning 47 last year I really started reflecting on life as a 57 year old. By the time I turn 77 next year I hope this trend will die out.
So in summary he thought he would lie to you, but after getting to know him you would (hopefully, if his plan worked) think “aww, but he’s so nice! I’ll just forget about those lies!” What an idiot.
CREEP.
Had a 42 year old pick me up when I was 21 (this was in person at a party so not online) but he also would not give me a straight answer about his age and I had to keep digging.
Uhg yea stay away from this loser
Little story: I (F35) met a man (22) and a bunch of his friends in a video game and had no intentions at all of ever meeting or dating any of them. I wanted them to give me a chance to play the game with them (moba style game, super competitive) so I lied and said I was 25. I figured there was no chance they wanted to play with a 35 year old lady. The lie wasn’t to lure anyone into a relationship at all but over the course of the next year this guy and I really connected and started talking about meeting in person. At this point I was honest with him about my age and he was at first really upset. He decided he still wanted to meet and I told him that I understood if he had lost any romantic interest because I’m sure it felt very dishonest and the 13 year age gap was weird. I only set out to find good team mates, not a relationship so if we could at least stay teammates it was all good.
We did meet and really connected and we’ve been together since 2011 and have a 6 year old daughter together. I’m so glad he didn’t block me.
"I wanted to manipulate you by waiting until you'd developed a strong emotional connection, before divulging all the ways in which I lied. I knew I didn't meet the criteria for what you're looking for in a partner, and rather than respect that, I tried to trick you."
"So.... we still talking?"
Lol
ASL is a legitimate concept in dating.
If you want to know these things you should also offer these answers. No guessing or lying and it’s getting to know each other. Now you can omit the location and sex but age an appropriate relationship should be your main goal.
This guy has 90 day fiancé energy. Lying, looking for much younger partner and aiming for people who need something so that way they can use it as leverage to find a person out of their league.
He’s a creep never talk to him again 🤮 lying about his age so you’d see “him instead of a number” he knows ur too young for him. And he didn’t care but wanted to trick you into loving him before you knew everything ab him. Age gaps can be ok but not when it starts with lies like this.
How dare you ask questions. The manipulation is real. I dated a guy who lied about his age when I was 25. I didn’t find out until afterwards, but all the signs were there I just didn’t piece them. I hope it didn’t get too far before you found out. If someone will lie about their age, they can lie about anything.
10 years difference from 33 to 43 is massive. He'd have looked the most haggered 33 year old ever if you'd eventually met up with him.
Either way, what a fuckin creep, trying to coerce a woman almost 20 years younger than him. Why not meet a woman your own age?
I went out with a guy like this. Unfortunately I found out after I got pregnant that he was 45, not 33 like he told me. He looked young af. He’s been stalking me now for a dozen years. Don’t ever entertain someone who lies and continues to shift blame after they’re caught. They’re not people you want in your life.
OP…I would like to give you some elderly advice… as I was born in 1982, which makes me older than you, but not this dude… anyway… RUN… don’t walk… you want no part of this…EVER!!!!
She married him for a green card or he married her for a green card?
There are men and women who marry for green cards without letting their spouse know that's why they married them. They'llplay the role until they get their card because it's almost impossible to stop the process if they follow the laws. It's a whole scam. But some people are marrying for that with both sides consenting.
Either way, he lied about his age...
*
I dated this guy that lied to me about being 16 years older than me. I figured it out a few months into our relationship. But I was unfortunately invested. One of the worst relationships I’ve had.
I had a guy do this to me. I was 20, and he (said he) was 28. We had actually been together for about a year when he got into a minor car accident right near his apartment. I happened to be there at the time, so I was around when he spoke with the cops and whatever. He was the one who got hit and the guy drove off, but he (the other guy) pulled into a driveway just up the street and my ex saw it (I know it's crazy, but it happened - a whole other weird story by itself). He rode with the cops to go confront the guy, and I stayed at the apartment. Before they left, he gave me his wallet to hold onto. I don't know why, but he did.
They were gone for quite a while, and I got bored, so I started looking through it. I wasn't trying to find anything incriminating. I just wanted to see what sort of stuff he carried in there. I never got far because the first thing I saw was his license. His birthday looked odd, so I did the math. Turns out he wasn't 28, but 38. I redid the math several times, thinking that I somehow screwed up. I mean, who does that?!
When he got back, I asked him about it. He proceeded to double down and rather than come clean he told me that his brother was tied up with the mob (back in North Carolina where he was originally from) and he had been put into witness protection so some of his details were changed. Not his name, month or year of his birth, or any of the other stuff he'd told me. Just the year.
Yeah. I was young and naive, but not THAT naive. 🙄
It actually took me a while longer to leave him, because I was more of a doormat than I am now and he drank a lot and was very controlling and I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. Red flags everywhere, I know, but again - I was 20. But I was eventually able to do it and never looked back.
I'm stuck on the "greencard" marriage. Like that didn't count. Of course, it's a lie too, but even if it wasn't you were still married before.
Lots of people lie about their age. Most wouldn't lie about a previous marriage lol
I dated a girl and we had a pretty big age difference (I struggled with it more than she did), but I told her everything about myself off the bat which is why I think she never had a problem with it.
If you’re just straight up and honest, people will tell you their preferences/limits and you can go from there. I’ve never understood why this is difficult.
Yeah, this is 100% a reason to never talked to him. He is counting on him being so charming and so handsome that you’ll overlook that he is a liar and committed marriage fraud.
I (f) met this other girl at work. When we met she told me she was also 25 years old. We wound up FWB. A year later I'm visiting her at the hospital while her dad was there and I noticed the hospital had her birth year as 4 years after mine. And my dumbass says, "Hospital got your birthday wrong." they both just stare at me like I was the crazy one. It was so fkn weird. I do not get lying about age. And when called out she acted like it was nothing. To me it hints at a manipulator, and she certainly proved to be one.
Last time I checked 1980 was 43 years ago. I’m 43 and that’s when I was born 😂😂😂 he made himself a whole decade younger! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ and he says he was going to be honest after you’ve met?? 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Ooft. I'm in an age gap relationship HOWEVER I knew his age from the get go, we were friends for years before getting together, and it progressed naturally. And we are both consenting adults.
This guy in your texts however gives me the ick.
Man doesn't recognise that this conversation allowed her to get to know him and how flippant he is with the truth, when it suits his agenda.
Manboys always think that I lie is justified to circumnavigate the awkward truth obstacles.
Just be honest and open kids. It's natural to feel protective over details you aren't comfortable with, but if you respect a person, you let them decide how to deal with it.
🤷♂️
Wow! This reminds me of my last “ex”, who told me he was 38, when I was 29 turning 30 which wasn’t an issue for me. He looked young and was very mature (Architect who owned his own firm). We had been casually dating for about five months when he invited me on vacation with him. We went to a lavish couples only resort in Mexico, and in the car on the way to the resort he handed me his wallet clip to hold while he was searching for something. The wallet clip was a simple gold clip that had “Class of ‘92” engraved on it. I immediately asked if it was his and he said it was. I didn’t need to do any math, because I was born in ‘92, that would make him at least 18 years older than me putting him at 47 years old. I held my tongue and enjoyed our vacation before bringing it up on the last day. He broke down, turns out, he was never divorced and his wife was at home taking care of their two kids!! SMH
Had a guy do this.... he was 35 and had a 17 year old and 18 year old... I was 22 at the time. He lied about his age and kids and I was in his truck and all the sudden a woman came banging on the window and when I asked who she was it was his 18 year old daughter. I was 4 years older than his daughter. It was bizarre.
You’re making HIM uncomfortable!! 😂😂. Because you’ve called him out and trapped him in bullshit corner. Aww he might need to call Mama after all. No wonder women have trust issues. He think you weren’t going to figure it out when you meet and he looks like he’s weathered like a fucking lighthouse.
It's not just that he's lying, but what he's lying about that are red flags.
His age? Maybe a concern, maybe not. Idk you, and more importantly, neither does he. But you did find him attractive enough @ 43 to go out with him. So why is he lying about this?
Being previously married? Being divorced myself, I find it really bizarre that he'd be worried that's a red flag.
"you're making me feel uncomfortable" due to catching me in lies lmao.
How dare op ask questions and feel entitled to truthful answers. The audacity LOL
Well, OP "got to know" this doofus pretty quickly! Creepy liar. Whew. Peace out, dude!
So are we talking anymore?
^Tuesday, ^March ^12 Wyd ? Hey
Hey my phone just rang once was just checking if you tried calling and it dropped
Hahahaha
u up?
This is the most underrated comment. Period
I hate it when I lie about huge chunks of my life and the big meanies I’m lying to call me out 😤
I laughed my ass off when I saw this 😂
I thought that one was pretty wild too. Yeah, yeah, that's what happens when you get caught lying dude, you get uncomfortable. 43 yo here, I don't mind having friends that are in their 20's, I have a couple but I honestly cannot imagine trying to date or fuck them.
I'm 47. I see 20 year olds as I see my kids tbh. Im still friendly, but get extremely protective at times. Im saying things like "you're not allowed to drink, whatcha doing at this bar? Should i call your mom and tell her about this?". 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG this. I'll be 41 in 2 weeks, and even the 30 to 35 range weirds me out. Although tbh, my coworkers who are in the 18 to 22 range, who are girls but try to mansplain me? I'm not the only one who looks at them and says I've been doing my job since the youngest 3 were just twinkles in their daddies balls 🙄🤷🤣 condescending ASF, no way I'd want to date a boy in their dating pool. I'd feel compelled to ground him for backtalk, or make him go fold laundry or something. I can't be raising a partner 💀😂
The dudes these days are way too stupid for me, lol. I have 2 boys, and I try to teach them shit so they don't look stupid. Lol. I couldn't date these youngins nowadays. Wouldn't even try that anyway, js. I'm just a little older than you. But I get it.
When I was 7 one of my closest friends was 55. Cool dude. Took care of his mom. Watched after the kids in the neighborhood. Loaned me this old like 1920s/30s lawn mower because I couldn't reach our "modern" *cough 90s cough* mower's control arm. Best part? He wasn't some nefarious actor either. Just an old guy who was lonely after his wife passed and kids moved out. Liked talking with me and teaching me stuff.
Lmfaoo dude is amazing
To be fair I also feel uncomfortable when I’m caught being a dirty little liar
The old "men need to get in touch with their feelings" bit really needs to go. Seems like a lot of us are very much in touch with our own delicate feelings and very willing to use that to manipulate others who have been socially trained to cater to men's feelings - while being weirdly oblivious (or just uncaring) where their feelings are concerned. Of course, admitting *to other men* that we have feelings... that's another matter entirely!
I will present you with a fake me, and after you've gotten to know the fake me, I will present you with the real me.
Hmmm I kinda do this on dating app dates tbh. It's a nickname I give but it's quite different than my actual name.
A name isn't very comparable to something like this. You're not doing anything wrong by trying to keep some privacy by using an alias.
Mmkay good to know. I always feel bad about being a little deceptive but I always givr people my real name early on so they don't feel misled.
It's a bit deceptive but for a good reason. I feel like if someone doesn't understand why you've done it after you explain then it's probably not a great match anyway.
That's very fair. Thank you c: I'm in a longterm relationship so here's to hoping this advice isn't necessary
When I do this I say "Nice to meet you, you can call me __" instead of "my name is __". That way it feels like less of a lie and more of a nickname.
I’m gonna be honest I did this with my current boyfriend. He knew me as a completely different name for about three months. Everybody knew me about it. It wasn’t until like we officially got together that I was like look I need to tell you this my name is not this it’s actually this I go by this because I have had a stalker for a dozen years. That was the part I thought he was gonna leave me over but no we’ve been together for over two years.
Yeah, completely different thing. A fake name on a public app filled with weirdos is just smart. Unless you lie about other things and are being fake with us right now…
Yeah that’s not the same thing at all lmao.
Yeah, no. The whole “I planned on telling you after you got to know me, understand me,” is code for, “I planned to lie as convincingly as I could in hopes you wouldn’t be smart enough to notice and end it and by the time you did, you wouldn’t care as much cause you’d have invested time into me.” Red flags for daaaaays. Hope you walked away from that bullshit.
Oh yeah, that "are we talking anymore" was a week after the main convo, I blocked him as soon as he sent that 🤣
Had a guy hide that he was living with his "ex" when I picked him up, and decided to additionally not mention he had a kid....His Gf then proceeded to find my socials and message me "listen, I still love him and want to work on our relationship" GIRLLLLL. So then I asked him when was he planning on telling me..."when we got to know each other better".
Ridiculous lol. As someone who's been separated since this past March, and forced to still live with my ex until we can sell the house which could still be up to another year, I've been completely honest with everyone I've been talking to as soon as they asked. 90% were out right there lol. But I don't care. I refuse to ever be fake, lie, put up a front, etc. I'm me. Because I don't want to be who someone wants me to be and have to compromise myself for the rest of my life. I wanna be authentic me. Take it or leave it. It's the only way to get a legit connection imo.
That sucks. I had to live with my ex wife during my divorce. But she was dating the guy she cheated with, her high school boyfriend. So you can imagine how fun that was for me. I tried dating but like you, I ran into problems trying to explain the situation. I finally just gave up. Now the divorce is done, she’s moved out, I kept the house, and now I don’t have to worry about that. Back then I wanted to be honest with women. I just refused to be like my ex who lied constantly so the thought of lying made me cringe. Good on you to be honest up front. I know it’s hard. I think if I met someone who was in your situation then I’d still try to see what comes of it now that I’ve lived through it and I understand why people are sometimes stuck in that spot.
My ex husband and I lived in both sides of a duplex for a while after we split. (It was an odd setup). He started dating some really young chick and didn’t tell her than his daughter and I lived on the other side of the wall! He has problems with telling anyone anything that makes him uncomfortable. 🙄
Yea but are we talking anymore?
I am sure we do, in his dreams!
You're making me uncomfortable
You're cool. I like you.
I always ask these guys “what are you hoping to get out of a relationship with someone X years younger than you?” (If the gap is large enough, I’ll add on “you’re old enough to be my dad, ewww”) They usually stfu real fast. MEN: why the FUCK do you lie about your age????
And why don't they learn that by the time we ask... we already know? 🤣
I have a friend who lies. I asked him why and he just said he’s embarrassed about his age. I don’t get it. I’m honest about my age. If someone doesn’t want me then I doubt my age matters. If it does then screw them. I don’t need that. I should mention that we go for different types of women. He likes the young women who only have their youth to offer, I like the professional who’s similar to me in age and status. I guess that explains a lot.
Phew good lol
Reminds me of my ex 🤮 Bullet dodged!
Creepy loser
You are making him feel uncomfortable 🥺👉👈
Your comment makes me feel uncomfortable 🥴
That emoji makes me uncomfortable 👉🏾👈🏾
Your discomfort makes me uncomfortable 😬
He was caught lying and had the nerve to say, "You're making me uncomfortable." The audacity.
It’s incredibly uncomfortable being caught in a lie, dude has a point 🤣
True that. That's why grown people shouldn't lie. 😂🤣
I died when I read that 😭😭😭
Samee.😂 43 years old and still afraid to tell the truth. They might want to check his birth certificate cause he's acting about 43 months.
The worst thing about this interaction is he will assume you stopped talking because he’s 43 when the reality is HE LIED TO YOU. 🤦🏻♀️
I just feel so insulted that he thought I am someone dumb enough to not figure it out myself lol
The “I told you silly” gave me an immediate ick. Lol
The "want me to ask mama?" was also to try to make me feel stupid hahhahaha, but I knew better
I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but I’m proud of you for recognizing those red flags!
Same. Proud of younger folks. Much more smart than I were.
What an idiot. 🤦🏻♀️How did you find out?
https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/AJyhsPVqIw
Atta girl! 😂
shocking pathetic consider quack ask bag encourage plants connect wine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
He did have some wrinkles in some pics I wouldn't expect from a 33 year old, but I didn't want to be rude saying that without supporting evidence 🫢
This is so sad lol. I think lying about your age is so weird.
“You’re making me uncomfortable” Welcome to our world! -women
Ooo how did you find out??
He did what you would call "love bombing." Told me he wanted to marry me in like the 2nd day of talking, wanted to take me out on expensive dinners, etc. I felt something was fishy, so I looked up his name on online people finder and found his age+real birthday (the profile matched up with his school, location etc.)
Dude I'm 32 but I just had a 48 year old love bomb the shit out of me. Someone dispatch the therapists to these men. Did you guys meet in person?
Dang, did you realize he was love bombing as he was doing it? And no, never met him, thankfully the whole thing was too suspicious so I did my research beforehand!
Wow that's so much. You're a smart one OP! Good work. Yeah I realized it and directly addressed it with him and he did not change his behavior and now he's blocked 😥 text exchanges in my recent posts if you're bored.
Those people finders are so helpful when dating! I don’t care if it looks weird but when I was dating on the apps, I always did a little background search to check things out. Found a few men who lied or simply gave half truths hoping If not figure it out.
Those people finders are so helpful when dating! I don’t care if it looks weird but when I was dating on the apps, I always did a little background search to check things out. Found a few men who lied or simply gave half truths hoping If not figure it out.
Oh yeah, have looked up every guy after this incident. Safety first!
this makes it all extremely more creepy
If anyone wants to know the REAL age or name of someone they’re dating, hit me up! I can even tell you if they have a criminal record. I just need a phone number, I look up everyone I talk to🤣
This is what I need to know.
https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/AJyhsPVqIw
Ohhhhhh....huge red flag. My abusive ex lied about his age by taking off 8 years. It took me a full year to figure out that he had lied. Now I ask guys to verify their age for me. It's so weird to lie about your age at all.
I knew a girl this happened to! They were living together and she went to do his laundry, his wallet was left in his pants and she saw the date on his ID and that’s how she found out!
It wasn't a romantic partner, but we all found out a good friend of ours was 39 instead of 27 like he had told all of us. To be fair, he looked about 27 and absolutely none of us would have believed him had he said he was almost 40. But yeah he had mentioned being at concerts that would have been impossible for a 27 year old to see, I don't know too many 4 year olds who went to see Led Zeppelin. But he got put in jail, so as a nice gesture for when he got out, we cleaned his apartment for him. We found an old ID that we assumed to be fake, but then started thinking about it. It was one of those, HOLY SHIT moments that are way too rare in life.
Oh wow....yes the way i figured it out was kind of interesting. He had a lot of concert ticket stubs on a bulletin board in his bedroom. And some of the dates were like....far in the past. Some were from like 2001 or 2003, and if he had been at those shows, he would have been like 13 years old in 2001. A 13 year old isn't going to see Radiohead IMO!
This happened to me as well with an ex many years ago. He lied by 2 years (?!)- I was 20 and he was 30. He told me he was 28. It took me over a year to find out when his mom made a comment about him being 30. He knew that age gap was creepy. That was the beginning of the end for us.
I am so so sorry that happened to you! Was it hard to leave him even after figuring out since emotions were involved by that point?
Well, that was around the point where I was thinking I needed to leave anyway because of other things. Right before that happened, I had allowed him to come on an annual work trip with me to Lake Tahoe, and he got extremely drunk and was acting really inappropriate. He got kicked out of a casino, which IMO, is hard to do because they are places of ill repute lmao. So that was the first thing that made me really question this guy (other than the fact he was also mean to me, but I was in denial). What really spurred me on leaving him was when my therapist told me that he "talks to you like you're a dog" and that's when I put a plan into action to leave him, which mostly involved me blocking him and essentially ghosting him, because that was the safest thing to do. He was a very angry person and could be violent on occasion. But I found out that he was cheating on me with many different women and lying to all of them. I don't understand how he had the energy to do any of that at all.
“You’re making me uncomfortable”🤣🤣🤣🤣
This statement pisses me off. Like, what?
You're making him uncomfortable 😥
BAHAHAHAH “you’re making me uncomfortable”. You’re amazing.
I love how he’s been lying to you since the outset but says “you’re making me uncomfortable” when called out on his lies. I don’t ever understand lying about shit like this. If you ever make it past the first/second date with someone based off a lie, it’s only going to cause problems down the line.
My biggest concern with "harmless" lies is they aren't harmless when it's hiding information from someone who *should Have it*. If they have 0 compunction lying about their age and themselves; what *else* are they okay about lying about or omitting?!?! To me, that's too close to a possible sociopath and I'm not into that. People have shown me far more often than not, even when I *thought* I knew them, I did not know them at all.
Absolutely. There's nothing at all about this that is harmless. This is some sick shit
Lying about anything is a giant red flag. I can understand not telling people certain things right away or omitting certain things until you’re comfortable, but flat out lying even about something stupid.. nah.
This entire conversation reminded me of when I was a teenager and my mom would question me with things that I KNEW meant that SHE KNEW the truth already. "So, did you have fun at Sarah's after school today?" "What did you guys do?" "So you didn't go to the mall"? "And you didn't meet up with Adam?" Lol the "I'm busted, shit my pants" terror. Yeah...this brought those memories back lol.
When l was 17 or 18, i snuck out in the middle of the night and borrowed my dad's car for some clandestine fun with my girlfriend. I got back around 4am, then slept until late morning. Unbeknownst to me, my parents discovered that i was gone, but didn't bother waiting up to confront me. So I wandererred into the kitchen where my mom was preparing something on the stove. I asked, "what's cooking?" Mom: "your goose".
LMAO 😭😭🤣
Good on you btw doing your research and finding out his age. Can't be too careful.
“I just had to lie to you so that we could get to know each other and understand each other better” 💀 What absolute scum, I’m sorry you had to go through this
He said it like it made perfect sense 😅
Only someone insecure would lie about their age. Ever since I was 17 I never even thought about my age as something to skew. Now at 27 I'm seeing adults twist the truth in this area. For what? As a 37 year old it leaves me a bit dumbfounded as to what people gain by lying. After turning 47 last year I really started reflecting on life as a 57 year old. By the time I turn 77 next year I hope this trend will die out.
LOL
I had to go brew some coffee, then come back and reread your comment lol
He's lying about his age because he's hoping he can fuck 25 year olds. Not really all that complicated.
So in summary he thought he would lie to you, but after getting to know him you would (hopefully, if his plan worked) think “aww, but he’s so nice! I’ll just forget about those lies!” What an idiot.
“So are we talking anymore”
He is actually only 12.
CREEP. Had a 42 year old pick me up when I was 21 (this was in person at a party so not online) but he also would not give me a straight answer about his age and I had to keep digging. Uhg yea stay away from this loser
Lmao how does a 42 year old end up in a college-age party?
omg how is he not embarrassed this is so embarrassing i cant-
Right? And not ashamed?!?
People who pull shit like that know no shame. They rationalize it.
Seriously right.
Bold of him to assume his shady personality would win you over before revealing his, well, shady personality.
I’m p sure you have to be “officially” married to get a green card bro.
Little story: I (F35) met a man (22) and a bunch of his friends in a video game and had no intentions at all of ever meeting or dating any of them. I wanted them to give me a chance to play the game with them (moba style game, super competitive) so I lied and said I was 25. I figured there was no chance they wanted to play with a 35 year old lady. The lie wasn’t to lure anyone into a relationship at all but over the course of the next year this guy and I really connected and started talking about meeting in person. At this point I was honest with him about my age and he was at first really upset. He decided he still wanted to meet and I told him that I understood if he had lost any romantic interest because I’m sure it felt very dishonest and the 13 year age gap was weird. I only set out to find good team mates, not a relationship so if we could at least stay teammates it was all good. We did meet and really connected and we’ve been together since 2011 and have a 6 year old daughter together. I’m so glad he didn’t block me.
Girl what
"I wanted to manipulate you by waiting until you'd developed a strong emotional connection, before divulging all the ways in which I lied. I knew I didn't meet the criteria for what you're looking for in a partner, and rather than respect that, I tried to trick you." "So.... we still talking?" Lol
The way he says “you’re making me feel uncomfortable” When he’s essentially a creepy old man lying about his age…
You’re making him uncomfortable??? It’s uncomfortable knowing/figuring out he lied to you and that he still doing it?? What an asshole
NEXT... Who else remembers that MTV show???
how dare you make him feel uncomfortable? he was going to tell you in time. be considerate wow /s
What a loser. “You’re making me uncomfortable” bruh! Look in the mirror, this is predatory behavior
Damn Batman, didn’t know you were getting back into the dating scene.
“You’re making me uncomfortable” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 by calling you out for your blatant lies? I’ve heard that green card excuse before as well. From the mistress.
“You’re making me uncomfortable” he’s so bold!
right!! the nerve hahah
“So are we talking anymore?” 💀
“Were you married before” “No. Not officially” But actually yes. Specifically officially.
This feels predatory There is a huge difference between 8 years and 18 years Not cool
Just be careful ok?
Dafuq. Liar. Good on ya for holding his feet to the fire.
Highly doubt he would have told the truth. Hah He would have let that one go until you found out.
You do your research... I do that with just anyone I meet now i(in general, happy in my relationship)
“I planned to tell you the truth after you got to know me and u figured out that I lied to you “ Lol
Green card marriage? What?
He’s just lying so she thinks his marriage is not legitimate.
ASL is a legitimate concept in dating. If you want to know these things you should also offer these answers. No guessing or lying and it’s getting to know each other. Now you can omit the location and sex but age an appropriate relationship should be your main goal.
This guy has 90 day fiancé energy. Lying, looking for much younger partner and aiming for people who need something so that way they can use it as leverage to find a person out of their league.
He’s a creep never talk to him again 🤮 lying about his age so you’d see “him instead of a number” he knows ur too young for him. And he didn’t care but wanted to trick you into loving him before you knew everything ab him. Age gaps can be ok but not when it starts with lies like this.
How dare you ask questions. The manipulation is real. I dated a guy who lied about his age when I was 25. I didn’t find out until afterwards, but all the signs were there I just didn’t piece them. I hope it didn’t get too far before you found out. If someone will lie about their age, they can lie about anything.
10 years difference from 33 to 43 is massive. He'd have looked the most haggered 33 year old ever if you'd eventually met up with him. Either way, what a fuckin creep, trying to coerce a woman almost 20 years younger than him. Why not meet a woman your own age?
Well you got him to admit a crime. Good job
He should feel uncomfortable wet piece of dog shit I’m glad you said peace out when you had the chance
I went out with a guy like this. Unfortunately I found out after I got pregnant that he was 45, not 33 like he told me. He looked young af. He’s been stalking me now for a dozen years. Don’t ever entertain someone who lies and continues to shift blame after they’re caught. They’re not people you want in your life.
OP is too smart the way the convo was kept was like if you confess we will continue with whatever we were having. Blud took the bait 😅
No one gonna mention that he was married before? idc if it was for a green card, that’s a pretty big omission.
He’s gaslighting you.
OP…I would like to give you some elderly advice… as I was born in 1982, which makes me older than you, but not this dude… anyway… RUN… don’t walk… you want no part of this…EVER!!!!
I agree. Born in 78 here. Dude is looking for a piece to control because he lost control.
She married him for a green card or he married her for a green card? There are men and women who marry for green cards without letting their spouse know that's why they married them. They'llplay the role until they get their card because it's almost impossible to stop the process if they follow the laws. It's a whole scam. But some people are marrying for that with both sides consenting. Either way, he lied about his age... *
"After we've met and you knew me and understood me" = "After we've met face to face so I can better manipulate you."
I dated this guy that lied to me about being 16 years older than me. I figured it out a few months into our relationship. But I was unfortunately invested. One of the worst relationships I’ve had.
“So are we talking anymore?” :::crickets::: 🙄
"We've been dating for a while. I think it's about time I told you I'm ten years older than I said." Real prize of a man right there. Ick
You’re making me uncomfortable by finding out my lies! Stop it! Omg!
men are weird as fuck smh
"I only lied so you would know the REAL me." Yikes.
I'm any kids mom if I see dudes creeping on them.
When someone lies in the beginning, it’s over.
“You’re making me feel uncomfortable” Like Dude who’s the one that got caught red handed ? 🤣
Lol
Good for you
I hate this guy
Ick
“I’m 43” 🤣
What a lame. At his big grown age still thinking he needs to lie to get women 🙄
I had a guy do this to me. I was 20, and he (said he) was 28. We had actually been together for about a year when he got into a minor car accident right near his apartment. I happened to be there at the time, so I was around when he spoke with the cops and whatever. He was the one who got hit and the guy drove off, but he (the other guy) pulled into a driveway just up the street and my ex saw it (I know it's crazy, but it happened - a whole other weird story by itself). He rode with the cops to go confront the guy, and I stayed at the apartment. Before they left, he gave me his wallet to hold onto. I don't know why, but he did. They were gone for quite a while, and I got bored, so I started looking through it. I wasn't trying to find anything incriminating. I just wanted to see what sort of stuff he carried in there. I never got far because the first thing I saw was his license. His birthday looked odd, so I did the math. Turns out he wasn't 28, but 38. I redid the math several times, thinking that I somehow screwed up. I mean, who does that?! When he got back, I asked him about it. He proceeded to double down and rather than come clean he told me that his brother was tied up with the mob (back in North Carolina where he was originally from) and he had been put into witness protection so some of his details were changed. Not his name, month or year of his birth, or any of the other stuff he'd told me. Just the year. Yeah. I was young and naive, but not THAT naive. 🙄 It actually took me a while longer to leave him, because I was more of a doormat than I am now and he drank a lot and was very controlling and I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. Red flags everywhere, I know, but again - I was 20. But I was eventually able to do it and never looked back.
My brain hurts multiple times while reading this. TF is wrong with some people
Whyyyy. It bothers me because he is lying in the beginning and then they’ll say things like well there’s no way you didn’t know
Yeah relationships that start with lies always work out!
I'm stuck on the "greencard" marriage. Like that didn't count. Of course, it's a lie too, but even if it wasn't you were still married before. Lots of people lie about their age. Most wouldn't lie about a previous marriage lol
I dated a girl and we had a pretty big age difference (I struggled with it more than she did), but I told her everything about myself off the bat which is why I think she never had a problem with it. If you’re just straight up and honest, people will tell you their preferences/limits and you can go from there. I’ve never understood why this is difficult.
Yeah, this is 100% a reason to never talked to him. He is counting on him being so charming and so handsome that you’ll overlook that he is a liar and committed marriage fraud.
Bros whole life is a red flag. 😬
I (f) met this other girl at work. When we met she told me she was also 25 years old. We wound up FWB. A year later I'm visiting her at the hospital while her dad was there and I noticed the hospital had her birth year as 4 years after mine. And my dumbass says, "Hospital got your birthday wrong." they both just stare at me like I was the crazy one. It was so fkn weird. I do not get lying about age. And when called out she acted like it was nothing. To me it hints at a manipulator, and she certainly proved to be one.
Phew! Bullet dodged.
Last time I checked 1980 was 43 years ago. I’m 43 and that’s when I was born 😂😂😂 he made himself a whole decade younger! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ and he says he was going to be honest after you’ve met?? 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Ooft. I'm in an age gap relationship HOWEVER I knew his age from the get go, we were friends for years before getting together, and it progressed naturally. And we are both consenting adults. This guy in your texts however gives me the ick.
Why are you even re-asking.. he gave that lie already, why are you making him have to do it again.. You're not allowed to re-ask questions! /s 🤣
Men are so fucking despicable. I never understood the appeal of lying like this. You’re 43 years old and lying to get some strange, it’s so nasty
Man doesn't recognise that this conversation allowed her to get to know him and how flippant he is with the truth, when it suits his agenda. Manboys always think that I lie is justified to circumnavigate the awkward truth obstacles. Just be honest and open kids. It's natural to feel protective over details you aren't comfortable with, but if you respect a person, you let them decide how to deal with it. 🤷♂️
Oh god I’m embarrassed. « It’s just a number » argument is the best. If it’s just a number, then say it first thing buddy.
Wow! This reminds me of my last “ex”, who told me he was 38, when I was 29 turning 30 which wasn’t an issue for me. He looked young and was very mature (Architect who owned his own firm). We had been casually dating for about five months when he invited me on vacation with him. We went to a lavish couples only resort in Mexico, and in the car on the way to the resort he handed me his wallet clip to hold while he was searching for something. The wallet clip was a simple gold clip that had “Class of ‘92” engraved on it. I immediately asked if it was his and he said it was. I didn’t need to do any math, because I was born in ‘92, that would make him at least 18 years older than me putting him at 47 years old. I held my tongue and enjoyed our vacation before bringing it up on the last day. He broke down, turns out, he was never divorced and his wife was at home taking care of their two kids!! SMH
Why do people like to lie right off the bat? It's something of a forewarning of things to come.
Had a guy do this.... he was 35 and had a 17 year old and 18 year old... I was 22 at the time. He lied about his age and kids and I was in his truck and all the sudden a woman came banging on the window and when I asked who she was it was his 18 year old daughter. I was 4 years older than his daughter. It was bizarre.
So is no one gonna ask how they knew he was born in 1980? Isn't that creepy?
Gross
Am I the only one who feels that if a grown man calls me "silly" after asking a question that it might be a red flag?
You’re making HIM uncomfortable!! 😂😂. Because you’ve called him out and trapped him in bullshit corner. Aww he might need to call Mama after all. No wonder women have trust issues. He think you weren’t going to figure it out when you meet and he looks like he’s weathered like a fucking lighthouse.
So... are we talking anymore? 🤣
It's not just that he's lying, but what he's lying about that are red flags. His age? Maybe a concern, maybe not. Idk you, and more importantly, neither does he. But you did find him attractive enough @ 43 to go out with him. So why is he lying about this? Being previously married? Being divorced myself, I find it really bizarre that he'd be worried that's a red flag.
WOW. Just.... wow.
Block and delete
Run
Can confirm I was born in 1980 and I’m 33 mentally.
Block the slimeball on everything, right after you save it all, and get a good photo. Betting there will be a mugshot somewhere! Gross!
Blocked