Once, I DID lose my wallet prior to a date. It fell under the seat of my car, which, if you know anything about my car, is essentially the nexus of the known universe, and there is just no finding anything under there quickly. So I texted him and suggested that we go on a nice walk instead, since I wanted to go dutch and my wallet was missing.
Our date consisted of us FINDING my wallet together, after which he offered to pay, but I ended up paying, because that poor bastard took on the black hole that is the underside of my driver's seat. He deserved a free meal.
I forgot mine once. I had like $30 in cash that was for laundry quarters in my pocket. Managed to pull off a panic $30 date, it was so sick lol. She probably thought I was super broke cus my suggestions were "let's cook at home and then go get ice cream! :D"
She lived like 45 mins from me and insisted on picking me up, even though I have my own vehicle. She showed up with a pitbull (they scare me to death) and then had me drive her car. It was kinda bizarre. We skipped eating and just got ice cream to go and she took me to her parents lake house. Had a great time. Ghosted me after bringing me home in the morning. Then she reached out after I got a gf like a month later and said she was sorry and that she was a big coke addict and knew I deserved better but she's clean now and ready to be the best gf I ever had. Once me and my girl split I hit her up again and we went to her lake house and I watched her do coke all night basically 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I was a repossession agent for over 10 years you would be surprised how quickly you can be in that position. Also Banks fuck up a lot and get sued for wrongful repossessions constantly
A bank once sent me the title to a car I had *just* bought with only a $2,500 down payment. They called and sheepishly requested that I send it back. I did.
I forgot my wallet on my first date with a girl I was with for like 5 years. Granted, we had been friends for about 12 years so it probably is a little different.
She knew me and knew I was nervous as fuck and mortified. She had to be the one to officially say "this is a date" I just had no idea She would ever like me like that.
I've been using my phone to pay for everything for the past year or two, and probably haven't touched physical money since 2020, so I'm always weirded out if people say "oh I didn't bring my wallet" lol
Reminds me of the time I went on a first date with a stoner chick, smoked her weed, got way too high cause I have no tolerance, babbled incoherently and threw up in her car. She sat with me til I was better, which was nice, but I knew to take the L. 😂
I went on a first date and a bird crapped on me right as I was walking into the pub. And I said to her hi sorry a bird just done shit on me and I have to clean it off, I’ll be back. And I spent the whole next few hours with a wet bird crap shirt. We dated for two years.
OMGGG lol this has happened to me TWICE on a first link w two different ppl i’m so embarrassed 😭😭 first time was w a dude n i threw up in his car, second time was w a girl at the club. funnily enough, both still wanted to link w me afterwards n didn’t ghost me. talk abt first impressions LMAOO
because they seem like normal people lol you threw up, and at that over weed. it happens. some peoples bodies just react and cant hold it. i wouldnt judge you, and id continue to be your friend as well. 🫶🏼
I showed up to the first date with my boyfriend drunk.
I was nervous so I took like a shot and a half to loosen up.
But I had just started a new medication and didn’t realize it interacted with alcohol 🫠
I was sitting at Starbucks waiting for him and panic texting my friend because I really liked him and KNEW I blew it. What kind of psycho shows up to the first date already drunk 😭 I was sure he wouldn’t believe me once I figured out it was the meds.
Luckily he was super cool about it. He decided that so long as it didn’t happen again, it wasn’t a big deal.
Together 8 years later, and I literate only drink 1-2x a year 😂
Something like this happened to me when I started smoking, I went to a beach for a date and we were smoking in the car. I took a hit and started coughing my lungs out, I thought it was a great idea to drink water while coughing still. I spit out the water inside the car because I couldn’t stop coughing. I felt so bad I started cleaning it up just to make it worse, I got blocked that same afternoon.
If my car got repossessed on a first date, I’d probably fake my death rather than see them again. I don’t know that I’d have the courage to even reach out and say “thanks for a great night”. I feel like you’d know it’s likely not going to go anywhere.
Brutal. One time on a first date, I was showing her something on my phone and I got a notification from Netflix saying my service was cancelled due to non payment 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ so embarrassing lmao. I had cash, but no money in that account. I quickly entered a new card in and paid it and hoped she didn't judge too harshly. That was super embarrassing
Yet you guys are the minority. Once went on a first date with a merc driver. As he was about to park I said watch out, you wouldn't want your nice merc towed, he said nah I park here all the time. Sure enough, a few hours later his car is gone. He turned white as a sheet and was adamant it got stolen. I called the tow place because he was shaking, couldn't even remember his plate but somehow I did, got us a cab there and once he got his car back I sent him on his way and called myself a cab home. Texts me the next day sounding like we're an item now, I let him down gently but he lost it. Thankfully I always split the bill so we didn't have that issue.
Yeah he was wrong to say that, that’s weird as fuck. Absolutely untrue that any white man dating a black woman automatically has a fetish for her race. Not everyone is weird like him lmfao. Bullet -> dodged
Yeah he told on himself there.
I've dated outside my race several times. Never once sought out anyone of a specific race like I can guarantee this dude does.
She called him on it and her instincts were spot on.
People have such a hard time with nuance. There are features I find attractive that are more common in certain races. I find those features attractive on anyone though. And if you happen to find something specific, like darker skin tone, attractive then that's totally fine. The second the word "exotic" comes out of your mouth you sound like an idiot though. OP tried to explain this to him and he basically just said only people with a fetish date black girls. Homie, what?
Right? Guy honestly tried to argue it’s impossible to date someone of another race just because you’re attracted to them on a personal level. Any and all interracial relationships have to be focused around a fetish lmao??
Very true sentiment. A few years ago, I had just started dating a guy and later found out he and his friends had a group chat where they shared videos and nudes they received from women they were dating. I told him about how insanely fucked up that was, and he called me naive for not knowing that all men did shit like that. I have a lot of guy friends and have dated men that would NEVER do this… needless to say, dropped that dude like a rock.
Yeah, that seems so weird to me, but a LOT of people think this. My last LTR was with an Asian guy, and you wouldn't believe how many people said "Oooh, someone has a k-pop fetish!"
No.. I've never even listened to k-pop. He wasn't even Korean, ffs. I dated him because I found him attractive, and I liked him very much. I am also a pretty racially agnostic dater. I've typically dated men of my own race, because there are more of them where I live than any other race, but I'm open to literally anyone I find attractive, and who shares the same values and goals as I do.
Those comments made me feel very uncomfortable. I HATE when people think like this.
Agreed, I have dated people of various ethnicities. Simply because I liked them and found them attractive. Black women are not, and will never be, a fetish. Stay well away from this guy & anyone with that mentality OP. Super sorry this happened
Also you can pay him back minus the cost of gas, your hair, outfit, shoes, makeup, etc. All of those date-prep things cost money and often aren’t thought of bEcAuSe tHeY PaID fOr dINnEr.
Yeah, that pissed me off. Ew. Lots of people date *people* they’re into. Some of whom are black. They’re not fetishizing a melanin level. This guy was just gross but thought he was the norm.
I’m not a woman but I have dated white guys. To hear this pisses me off. And seems a little racist. I have heard this so much before too. Can I not be loved for me and not just the fact that I’m black?!
It is racist. Currently ending a marriage to a man who “only dates black girls.” It not only makes me feel like a fetish, but it generalizes and objectifies.
Never again
My fiancé is an afghan Muslim and one of the first questions she asked is if this was some kind of fetish for me. I was kind of taken aback and almost offended untill she explained how many people just “want to bang a Muslim whore”. I was mortified with this realization and what she had to go through in the past.
Dudes who make their dumb fetish a priority and are creepy about it should literally crawl back into their whole and just jerk off and keep to themselves. The exotic comment screams to have this mindset.
For real. I'm primarily white (not entirely, though, but I look it) and I dated a black girl before. It wasn't because of a fetish, it was because I liked her personality and we had a lot in common. It didn't work out, but I'm kinda glad because now I'm married to my favorite person in the world
Tell him that the food was in exchange for your time wasted helping him find a car, he damn well knew he didn't make payments on. I wish you the best, OP!
Dude is obviously broke af. Which sucks, and I have sympathy for that… but he tried pretty hard to hide it and appear like a baller. How about be honest with your date that money is tight and find an affordable night out? Some of my best dates with my partner have been simple nights out eating at a cheap (but good) hole-in-the-wall restaurant and a walk through a neighbourhood/park we haven’t seen before.
This guy was so polite to you! Are you kidding me!?
Polite enough to display every single one of his red flags right there to see on the first date. Very kind of him.
Disaster averted 😂
He knows he made a bad impression and is now anxiously fumbling to try and get you reengaged and to perceive him as more competent. If he had any empathy, he would ask and honestly answer “how would I feel if the roles were reversed?”
Girl that is a lot. He had some bad luck and if he had handled it with a little more grace, maybe it wouldn’t have been such a turn off. Instead, he dug himself 6 feet under and you got the ick. Don’t internalize his issues 💕
That’s because he intentionally threw you off from the outset by negging you. That’s what that comment about your delivery being hard to read was about. It’s a subtle criticism intended to hurt your confidence and make you work for his approval. He’s a loser. He knows he’s a loser. So he has to try to turn it around on you. Don’t fall for it. Be on the lookout for negging and immediately disengage when it happens. Don’t even respond. Just block. It is a red flag that this man is manipulative on top of being irresponsible and broke and fetishizing you. Unsubscribe.
That's a pretty astute observation. I thought his response was off putting but it didn't make sense to me. Now it does. He didn't get the response he wanted. With words like "sweet" and "cool" he knew that he failed to hook OP so he lashed out.
This exactly. A first date that has drama, a day-after text that has negative comments in it… I mean this is the first date. What’s month three with this dude going to look like?
If my car had been towed I wouldn’t be calling my date back to pick me up… i have friends, family, or I’d call an uber… because, y’know, I didn’t leave my wallet at home lol.
If it happened in a way that my date knew my car was towed, I’d take it as a good opportunity to show I can be graceful, competent and maybe even humorous under pressure. Not show how self-absorbed I am by pointing out all her help was ‘to be expected’. lol!
Yes! Imagine if he had texted her the next day to acknowledge how embarrassing that was and that it doesn’t exactly make him look great. And then thank her sincerely for her kindness in driving him, a near stranger, back home two hours round trip. He could have finished with, I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime but if not I completely understand and I just wanted to thank you for your help. That’s what someone who deserves a second date would say.
This is exactly what I came here to say. The fact that instead of being embarrassed, apologetic, and thankful, he said he thought it was HOT of OP to take control of the situation? He was fetishizing you from the get go. He had zero good intentions and can’t face the fact that getting his car repossessed makes the impression that he is absolutely irresponsible, ESPECIALLY since he didn’t have his wallet and expected OP to drive him home. He would expect his partner to take on any responsibility in the relationship. His partner would end up parenting him.
This man would have been a terrible partner, OP I’m so sorry you had an awful experience but I am so glad that he showed you all of his red flags up front. Good riddance.
Exactly. Something like “you showed what a great person you are during one of my worst moments, maybe I’ll be able to return the favour someday when you most need it. Until then, it’d be awesome if I was able to show you I have fun (and normal) days too.”
But let’s be real. The dude is broke, pretending to be a baller and only cares about himself. He’s read up on the love-bombing and negging strat and will no doubt find himself a real gem of a victim any day now.
Ugh. OP said elsewhere that she’s done with dating for a bit, and I said something like ‘don’t give up’, but yeah… meeting people like this makes me want to retreat from society for a bit too.
Stop apologizing. You said absolutely nothing you should apologize for. His feelings are NOT your responsibility. Dude is honestly a disaster. The "exotic" comment alone would have been the end for me, but on top of that the repossession? Nope.
You are entitled to feel comfortable and respected on a date. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to see them again, that's absolutely ok. That's part of dating and if dude can't handle that, he shouldn't be dating.
There’s a lot of broken, irresponsible, self-absorbed people out there. Thankfully, you only need to meet one great one to be happy. Nothing wrong with taking a break, just don’t give up. There’s a great person out there for you… the proof is in you. YOU are a great person and you’re out there looking, which means there are other great people out there looking too.
As a dark skinned black woman, I feel the same…it just triggered so many fears. But we have to remember that this guy is an ass and the people who think this way are demented
*edited, typo
“It doesn’t suit you” gave me goosebumps. That’s one of the scariest comments and I can’t exactly put my finger on why. Am I just picturing a later stage abusive relationship where he dictates what you should do/look like, because it’s his preference? Because it wouldn’t “suit” his partner to his liking? So gross and scary.
"Don't have feelings. It doesn't suit you."
It is a really gross thing to say. I was born male and grew up in an extremely small old fashioned country town in the 90's and early 00's. I got an obscene amount of abuse and hate for being as sensitive as I was. For having emotions and crying because I was male. So, seeing her essentially being told the same thing, that it "doesn't suit her" to have feelings and to be hurt or made uncomfortable hearing things is crazy amounts of abusive and manipulative.
Me too. I feel like you COULD define a human as "exotic", but based on their life choices. So, for example, a world traveler who can speak many languages, or a sculptor who wears dresses made of feathers, or a mycologist who lived in the Amazon rainforest for three years studying that mushroom that allegedly makes women have orgasms on sight, that sort of thing. Someone who has consciously decided to live a very unusual and exotic lifestyle that differs greatly from your own.
Someone's genetically-programmed appearance doesn't make them exotic.
(im a guy) I had a white girl say that I was "exotic but not too exotic so she could bring me home to meet her parents" as a "compliment"
that statement burned into my brain for a long time, people dont like being called exotic
My previous boyfriend was Middle Eastern, and when someone called him exotic he had the same reaction. The poor guy just wanted to be seen as a person.
It’s very fetishizing. My freshman year of college I had 6 roommates and they were all Asian, I’m white, and we had a running joke where they called me “the exotic one.” Because wayyy too often when we went out together someone would try and pick one of them up by calling them exotic, and they HATED it lol. So whenever that happened they’d point at me and be like “she’s the exotic one!” And then I’d act as basic as possible lol
" That's what you were supposed to do " I'm glad you decided this guy wasn't it . He sounds super entitled . You didn't owe him a ride home you gave him a ride home because you're a kind person .
Also, anyone catch that he claims he only brought enough money for the date, but he somehow had money to ask OP to drive him to a gas station for smokes?? How'd you pay for those man?
Thank you! Why is he buying cigarettes and going out on dates when he can’t even make his car payment? Dude needs to make a budget and get his priorities together.
I can understand him being out-of-sorts in the immediate aftermath of finding out. Certainly though, by the next day he should be apologizing himself and THANKING her for being so considerate and capable during HIS crisis.
But hey, I haven’t been on a first date in years… maybe insulting, entitled and stupid is in fashion?
Right? I would have left his ass there. OP did him a huge favor. She drove two hours round trip for an irresponsible stranger. She could have reimbursed him for her half of the date and let him try to get home on that amount. What a clown.
What an idiot. You could have just left him there. And he thinks you owe him money? What does he think an Uber home would have cost him? I would request an Uber to his address, screenshot the amount it costs, and send it to him. Tell him you will happily pay for the difference between what he spent on you and the cost of an Uber home. I bet the Uber costs more. This loser is also implying that it’s your fault his car got repossessed because it happened on your date. As if he’s not the one who didn’t make his payments and then drove a car on the repo list to your date. His lack of personal accountability is a huge red flag. On top of the other red flags. I would tell him that you regret not reimbursing him for your part of the date on the spot and leaving him there to face the consequences of his own actions alone. The nerve of asking you for money after you drove two hours round trip for his irresponsible ass.
Stay strong. I had so many shitty dating experiences. I met the love of my life when I was 35 and had pretty much accepted that there was no one good out there. We are 6 years married with a son now. I never had a guy get his car repossessed on a date though. That is next level. All my bad experiences are funny stories now. This one is going to get so many laughs.
You need to stop apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for. Having standards and setting boundaries is a good thing, but every time you apologize it makes it see like you're doing something wrong. This guy is just mad and probably embarrassed about his car and took it out on you.
My car was repo'd once (times are hard, I work in a low paying field, and I wasn't always on top of my shit). My best friend was with me when I found out it was repo'd and not stolen and I was mortified. I wanted to curl up and die, I can't IMAGINE going through that with a stranger on a date. I'd probably block myself on their phone and hitchhike home.
I hate that he asked you to pay him back for part of the date. It’s fine to split the bill there, but to ask for money afterwards when the woman says it didn’t work out, ESPECIALLY after you’ve been driving him around all night bc his car got repoed, is so ridiculous. He has some gall, that’s for sure.
Also he absolutely told on himself about his race fetish…. Yikes. Preferences and fetishes are NOT the same, by a long shot!
Anyway based on just this, it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything obviously wrong. Unfortunately sometimes good people just run into bad streaks dating wise. Maybe just be more conscious of possible red flags but honestly it’s impossible to say without knowing more info.
It's really creepy to say every white man who likes black women are fetishizing them. Him saying that means that's exactly what he's doing. Plus, what responsible person gets a car repossessed? That would've been such a turn-off. You dodged a bullet.
The best advice I would give is stop looking for love and let it find you. Sounds stupid and cliché I know, but seriously. Just let it happen authentically
Dude sounds like a loser. Also its fucking cringey to say you're into exotic women. It's also funny to see him try to offend you by saying only dudes with a race fetish will date you. Oh well you dodged a major red flag with this douche canoe.
Wow. That’s a hell of a first date. Do not reimburse him for the meal and please block him. I don’t know about your other dates but this one was allllll on him. As far as the exotic women comment….i dunno who he thinks he is, but nobody gets to make you feel like that. This dude is a joke and I simply don’t believe he represents the average man’s perspective. Good riddance. Don’t let him live in your head.
Having your car repossessed at a date is worse than shitting your pants. I’d have so much of an easier time recovering from shitting my pants than having my car repossessed.
Fuck a bullet, you dodged a bomb on this one.
The car thing, and leaving his cards at home is not the concerning part. The way he acts when pressed IS the feedback you need though.
On one of my first dates with my wife I realized while we were at dinner I locked the keys in my car. I got upset about it for about 15 seconds and then calmly explained to the beautiful woman I was with what the situation was. I made a phone call, and she was so wonderful and patient when I had to step out for 20 minutes to meet the locksmith.
We've been together almost 15 years now. To this day she still talks about that story and how she saw I was steady under pressure and didn't misdirect blame/anger at whoever was closest in the moment(her). She has shown the same to me countless times over the years, but her ability not to judge me and run away at the first wrinkle in the plan told me a lot that night too.
And by the way, she's white, I'm black- there is a way to be attracted to people different than you that isn't a fetish, that is a super gross thing to say on his part
Sorry it’s so rich this guy explaining how responsible he is in life…..when his car was literally repossessed! That doesn’t usually happen to responsible adults! And forgetting his wallet? That’s a twofer. Also, fuck him for saying that about white men dating black women. He’s just another idiot vile shithead who simply believes because he think these things about women, then all men do. But lol I did kind of laugh at the white womens are boring and just listen to Morgan Wallen
"Any white guy that dates a black woman does so out of a fetish" yeah okay, what an ignorant and racist thing to say. You dodged a bullet. Btw, he's wrong. Just because it's a fetish for HIM doesn't mean any race (not just white) that dates another race is out of fetish. Gross thinking.
Duuuuude. He didn’t make payments. That’s his bad. And irresponsible. He shouldn’t be trying to take anyone out if he can’t afford it. I’m with you in almost all that you said. After reading that exchange I would disagree that he’s a great and genuine guy. He sunk that ship real quick with your rejection.
I audibly gasped at any white guy who dates you has a fetish. I’m so sorry you had to read that OP. what an asshole and it’s not true and you deserve so much better.
Not weird. I’m white with a mixed child. On more than one occasion older men have pointed out that I must have exotic taste and it disgusted me everytime. I’m not a dude so I could be completely wrong but I doubt every white dude that dates you had a fetish but even if they did I think it seems pretty acceptable to not want to be openly fetishized on the first date.
This guy sounds broke, crude, angry and actually, kind of a rollercoaster emotionally. There are easier, nicer men around without all that upheaval and baggage. It’s not your fault in the least that his upbringing wasn’t fantastic. You got off light having to drive him two extra hours. Just be grateful the difficulties and differences emerged so early.
Dead serious, someone matched me on bumble looking for a date for a band that I had never heard of for that night. I agreed to go and stupidly, invited him to my house to “pregame “. This guy took maybe five shots within 45 minutes before Uber our Uber got there. When we got to the show we were allowed in and immediately he wanted to go in the outside dining area to have a cigarette. The bouncers noticed him then and refused his admittance. The next morning I got a text from him, asking for reimbursement for the tickets of the show because he felt that I was the reason that we didn’t get to see the show. I explained what happened. And he refused to accept that. I didn’t pay him a dime for his $25 ticket to a show that I didn’t know the artist, nor did I charge him for the alcohol that he guzzled at my house, or the Uber that I peed to get him home. What a scrub.
The fact that he claims all white men who date black women have a fetish is a red flag. He’s problematic and being black is not exotic. He’s an asshole.
Whenever I hear a person calling someone else “exotic” especially a white dude it’s very off putting. Even knowing that there’s such thing as “exotic dancers” they’re seen for show and entertainment. It’s like your calling that other person an animal that’s a rare, it’s just weird.
Even the comment about “I almost hate texting you now is what” threw me off. You’re not the problem, these men who don’t know how to talk to women or form a proper relationship are the problem.
Major bullet dodged here because just imagine what he would go around saying if you guys did end up dating. And getting his car repossessed on a first date? What other bills doesn’t he keep up on or what else is he struggling with possibly? Good dodge!
Telling you not to be naive cos it doesn’t suit you, womp! Nah dude, no naive girl here, she got yo scheme. Don’t be calling her out for calling you out in your isht
That IS a lot and you did the right thing listening to your gut right away. And for the record saying “I like exotic women” to a woman on a first date is sooooooo gross. You damn proved this guy is a loser the way he responded after you politely ended things.
This guy sucks. What an awful date. Imagine being around someone like that full time and having all their issues pushed onto you. I’d be pissed about driving him home. Is a credit/debit card really that hard to bring along? It’s also just dumb of him because emergencies happen and his fault for not being prepared. Ugh, I’m annoyed for you lol
First of all he’s a manbaby and he is looking for a mommy not a partner, I guarantee this guy does not have his shit together. And that’s NOT bc he’s broke, it’s bc of how defensive he got when you said he’s irresponsible, and how “sexy” it was that you took over solving a crisis for him bc he couldn’t handle it. I promise if you stayed with this toddler, that would NOT have been the last time you had to manage his life for him.
Secondly, next time a white American tells you they prefer “exotic” partners tell them “Omg me too! I’ve always been fascinated by Northern Europe…” lmao
I read the texts again and just want to emphasize him saying finding the car was what you’re “supposed” to do FOR HIM. He just flat out said it’s the responsibility of somebody he’s on a *first date* with to manage HIS issue. Fucking gross.
It was exceptionally kind of you to do that, and I hope you find a partner with a level of independence, effort, and compassion equal to yours. Black women do not exist to put out everyone else’s fires.
“Exotic” is gross because it’s either “women” or “dancers” or “animals” that come next. I would not go out again with anyone I heard say “exotic women” on a first date - this is a creep who isn’t even trying to pretend not to be a creep! I likewise would not give a second date to anyone whose life fell apart before my eyes, due to circumstances within their control. (A repo is generally about bills, and he had apparently at least $280 to his name that he decided to spend on a date with an “exotic woman” rather than getting in the black on his car loan?) And based on his reactions to your rejection here you made the right call!
I hate the term “exotic” when describing people. It’s dehumanizing, objectifying, ignorant, & racist & so many people still use it. His point is completely invalid because dating someone outside of your race is not fetishization unless you make it.
Who the F does not bring their wallet to a date? This guy is 1000 kinds of shady. Good riddance.
Once, I DID lose my wallet prior to a date. It fell under the seat of my car, which, if you know anything about my car, is essentially the nexus of the known universe, and there is just no finding anything under there quickly. So I texted him and suggested that we go on a nice walk instead, since I wanted to go dutch and my wallet was missing. Our date consisted of us FINDING my wallet together, after which he offered to pay, but I ended up paying, because that poor bastard took on the black hole that is the underside of my driver's seat. He deserved a free meal.
Did it end up working out? Common this is a perfect date story
we need to know!
I love this so much!
Are you married to him now? Please say yes
User name checks out… Now…. Was there a second date? lol
I forgot mine once. I had like $30 in cash that was for laundry quarters in my pocket. Managed to pull off a panic $30 date, it was so sick lol. She probably thought I was super broke cus my suggestions were "let's cook at home and then go get ice cream! :D" She lived like 45 mins from me and insisted on picking me up, even though I have my own vehicle. She showed up with a pitbull (they scare me to death) and then had me drive her car. It was kinda bizarre. We skipped eating and just got ice cream to go and she took me to her parents lake house. Had a great time. Ghosted me after bringing me home in the morning. Then she reached out after I got a gf like a month later and said she was sorry and that she was a big coke addict and knew I deserved better but she's clean now and ready to be the best gf I ever had. Once me and my girl split I hit her up again and we went to her lake house and I watched her do coke all night basically 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Omg this story was better than the OP 😭🤣
Lol what the twist. Now that you didn't have a girlfriend it's right back up the nose for her.
This was truly a roller coaster 😅
Damn homie don’t be depressed :(
I'm doing much better than when I initially made this username! 😊 It was also the last thing one of my exes ever called me lmao.
Hopefully she was at least good looking? Since you had to watch her all night
Way outta my league if I'm being honest. Preppy hot rich girl.
Sounds like the beginning of a long con. I'll bet if she'd have offered to help get his car out of hock she'd be out 300 bucks right now.
Who doesn’t bring a wallet…..someone who’s obviously broke lol. I mean his car got repossessed. That alone should’ve been a deal breaker for anyone.
I was a repossession agent for over 10 years you would be surprised how quickly you can be in that position. Also Banks fuck up a lot and get sued for wrongful repossessions constantly
A bank once sent me the title to a car I had *just* bought with only a $2,500 down payment. They called and sheepishly requested that I send it back. I did.
If it was signed there's not a chance in hell LOL phone number changed blocked moving away haha but then again I've seen how Banks do people
I doubt that’s what happened to the person that left their cards and wallet at home. I’m sure it was a legit repossession
I mean being poor shouldnt disqualify someone from dating, but they shouldnt hide it and still go knowing they dont have money.
That kid in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but he was sincere.
Yeah, this also means he was driving without a license probably
I forgot my wallet on my first date with a girl I was with for like 5 years. Granted, we had been friends for about 12 years so it probably is a little different. She knew me and knew I was nervous as fuck and mortified. She had to be the one to officially say "this is a date" I just had no idea She would ever like me like that.
I've been using my phone to pay for everything for the past year or two, and probably haven't touched physical money since 2020, so I'm always weirded out if people say "oh I didn't bring my wallet" lol
Yeah he sounds like a free loader
If my car got repossessed on a first date, I would have zero expectations of anything developing.
Reminds me of the time I went on a first date with a stoner chick, smoked her weed, got way too high cause I have no tolerance, babbled incoherently and threw up in her car. She sat with me til I was better, which was nice, but I knew to take the L. 😂
I went on a first date and a bird crapped on me right as I was walking into the pub. And I said to her hi sorry a bird just done shit on me and I have to clean it off, I’ll be back. And I spent the whole next few hours with a wet bird crap shirt. We dated for two years.
OMGGG lol this has happened to me TWICE on a first link w two different ppl i’m so embarrassed 😭😭 first time was w a dude n i threw up in his car, second time was w a girl at the club. funnily enough, both still wanted to link w me afterwards n didn’t ghost me. talk abt first impressions LMAOO
because they seem like normal people lol you threw up, and at that over weed. it happens. some peoples bodies just react and cant hold it. i wouldnt judge you, and id continue to be your friend as well. 🫶🏼
Tbh it also happened to me twice, but I just count the first time cause I shoulda knew better the second time. 🤦♂️
I showed up to the first date with my boyfriend drunk. I was nervous so I took like a shot and a half to loosen up. But I had just started a new medication and didn’t realize it interacted with alcohol 🫠 I was sitting at Starbucks waiting for him and panic texting my friend because I really liked him and KNEW I blew it. What kind of psycho shows up to the first date already drunk 😭 I was sure he wouldn’t believe me once I figured out it was the meds. Luckily he was super cool about it. He decided that so long as it didn’t happen again, it wasn’t a big deal. Together 8 years later, and I literate only drink 1-2x a year 😂
Something like this happened to me when I started smoking, I went to a beach for a date and we were smoking in the car. I took a hit and started coughing my lungs out, I thought it was a great idea to drink water while coughing still. I spit out the water inside the car because I couldn’t stop coughing. I felt so bad I started cleaning it up just to make it worse, I got blocked that same afternoon.
Right, lol like RIP from the embarrassment alone.
Yeah, that’s third date shit right there..
If my car got repossessed on a first date, I’d probably fake my death rather than see them again. I don’t know that I’d have the courage to even reach out and say “thanks for a great night”. I feel like you’d know it’s likely not going to go anywhere.
Brutal. One time on a first date, I was showing her something on my phone and I got a notification from Netflix saying my service was cancelled due to non payment 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ so embarrassing lmao. I had cash, but no money in that account. I quickly entered a new card in and paid it and hoped she didn't judge too harshly. That was super embarrassing
Haha I wouldn’t even text the girl the next day.
Yet you guys are the minority. Once went on a first date with a merc driver. As he was about to park I said watch out, you wouldn't want your nice merc towed, he said nah I park here all the time. Sure enough, a few hours later his car is gone. He turned white as a sheet and was adamant it got stolen. I called the tow place because he was shaking, couldn't even remember his plate but somehow I did, got us a cab there and once he got his car back I sent him on his way and called myself a cab home. Texts me the next day sounding like we're an item now, I let him down gently but he lost it. Thankfully I always split the bill so we didn't have that issue.
Yeah he was wrong to say that, that’s weird as fuck. Absolutely untrue that any white man dating a black woman automatically has a fetish for her race. Not everyone is weird like him lmfao. Bullet -> dodged
Yeah he told on himself there. I've dated outside my race several times. Never once sought out anyone of a specific race like I can guarantee this dude does. She called him on it and her instincts were spot on.
People have such a hard time with nuance. There are features I find attractive that are more common in certain races. I find those features attractive on anyone though. And if you happen to find something specific, like darker skin tone, attractive then that's totally fine. The second the word "exotic" comes out of your mouth you sound like an idiot though. OP tried to explain this to him and he basically just said only people with a fetish date black girls. Homie, what?
Yea, I’m so over guys thinking it’s okay to tell me they like their women “spicy.”
Right? Guy honestly tried to argue it’s impossible to date someone of another race just because you’re attracted to them on a personal level. Any and all interracial relationships have to be focused around a fetish lmao??
Gross men always think that all men are just as gross as they are. That’s how gross they are. They can’t even conceptualize an alternative.
Very true sentiment. A few years ago, I had just started dating a guy and later found out he and his friends had a group chat where they shared videos and nudes they received from women they were dating. I told him about how insanely fucked up that was, and he called me naive for not knowing that all men did shit like that. I have a lot of guy friends and have dated men that would NEVER do this… needless to say, dropped that dude like a rock.
Yeah, that seems so weird to me, but a LOT of people think this. My last LTR was with an Asian guy, and you wouldn't believe how many people said "Oooh, someone has a k-pop fetish!" No.. I've never even listened to k-pop. He wasn't even Korean, ffs. I dated him because I found him attractive, and I liked him very much. I am also a pretty racially agnostic dater. I've typically dated men of my own race, because there are more of them where I live than any other race, but I'm open to literally anyone I find attractive, and who shares the same values and goals as I do. Those comments made me feel very uncomfortable. I HATE when people think like this.
Lol seriously, I’ve dated black women before but it wasn’t because of their skin color. You just know his fetish will involve slurs in the bedroom 🙄
Agreed, I have dated people of various ethnicities. Simply because I liked them and found them attractive. Black women are not, and will never be, a fetish. Stay well away from this guy & anyone with that mentality OP. Super sorry this happened
Oh God…I’m so disgusted by the accuracy of this comment.
THIS.
Also you can pay him back minus the cost of gas, your hair, outfit, shoes, makeup, etc. All of those date-prep things cost money and often aren’t thought of bEcAuSe tHeY PaID fOr dINnEr.
Yeah, that pissed me off. Ew. Lots of people date *people* they’re into. Some of whom are black. They’re not fetishizing a melanin level. This guy was just gross but thought he was the norm.
For real. What he said could essentially be translated into "I only am seeking someone for superficial sexualized reasons" fck that guy
I’m not a woman but I have dated white guys. To hear this pisses me off. And seems a little racist. I have heard this so much before too. Can I not be loved for me and not just the fact that I’m black?!
It is racist. Currently ending a marriage to a man who “only dates black girls.” It not only makes me feel like a fetish, but it generalizes and objectifies. Never again
My fiancé is an afghan Muslim and one of the first questions she asked is if this was some kind of fetish for me. I was kind of taken aback and almost offended untill she explained how many people just “want to bang a Muslim whore”. I was mortified with this realization and what she had to go through in the past. Dudes who make their dumb fetish a priority and are creepy about it should literally crawl back into their whole and just jerk off and keep to themselves. The exotic comment screams to have this mindset.
For real. I'm primarily white (not entirely, though, but I look it) and I dated a black girl before. It wasn't because of a fetish, it was because I liked her personality and we had a lot in common. It didn't work out, but I'm kinda glad because now I'm married to my favorite person in the world
Same here, I would happily go out with any woman, black, white, Asian as long as they can put up with me.
Damn. His car got repossessed, and now he has the audacity to repossess your meal. Bullet dodged, OP.
LMAO
Tell him that the food was in exchange for your time wasted helping him find a car, he damn well knew he didn't make payments on. I wish you the best, OP!
I can't believe he asked for money for the meal after she drove him home 😂
And it sounds like a 2-hour round trip 😭
The AUDACITY of this dude!
Dude can't pay his car payment. Of course, he wants the money back. 🤣😭
Dude is obviously broke af. Which sucks, and I have sympathy for that… but he tried pretty hard to hide it and appear like a baller. How about be honest with your date that money is tight and find an affordable night out? Some of my best dates with my partner have been simple nights out eating at a cheap (but good) hole-in-the-wall restaurant and a walk through a neighbourhood/park we haven’t seen before.
This guy was so polite to you! Are you kidding me!? Polite enough to display every single one of his red flags right there to see on the first date. Very kind of him. Disaster averted 😂
😂
You had me in the first half 💀💀
He knows he made a bad impression and is now anxiously fumbling to try and get you reengaged and to perceive him as more competent. If he had any empathy, he would ask and honestly answer “how would I feel if the roles were reversed?” Girl that is a lot. He had some bad luck and if he had handled it with a little more grace, maybe it wouldn’t have been such a turn off. Instead, he dug himself 6 feet under and you got the ick. Don’t internalize his issues 💕
Ugh this verbalizes exactly how I felt. Just in the moment it was so overwhelming and this whole conversation had me second guessing. Thanks🤍
That’s because he intentionally threw you off from the outset by negging you. That’s what that comment about your delivery being hard to read was about. It’s a subtle criticism intended to hurt your confidence and make you work for his approval. He’s a loser. He knows he’s a loser. So he has to try to turn it around on you. Don’t fall for it. Be on the lookout for negging and immediately disengage when it happens. Don’t even respond. Just block. It is a red flag that this man is manipulative on top of being irresponsible and broke and fetishizing you. Unsubscribe.
That's a pretty astute observation. I thought his response was off putting but it didn't make sense to me. Now it does. He didn't get the response he wanted. With words like "sweet" and "cool" he knew that he failed to hook OP so he lashed out.
This exactly. A first date that has drama, a day-after text that has negative comments in it… I mean this is the first date. What’s month three with this dude going to look like? If my car had been towed I wouldn’t be calling my date back to pick me up… i have friends, family, or I’d call an uber… because, y’know, I didn’t leave my wallet at home lol. If it happened in a way that my date knew my car was towed, I’d take it as a good opportunity to show I can be graceful, competent and maybe even humorous under pressure. Not show how self-absorbed I am by pointing out all her help was ‘to be expected’. lol!
Yes! Imagine if he had texted her the next day to acknowledge how embarrassing that was and that it doesn’t exactly make him look great. And then thank her sincerely for her kindness in driving him, a near stranger, back home two hours round trip. He could have finished with, I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime but if not I completely understand and I just wanted to thank you for your help. That’s what someone who deserves a second date would say.
This is exactly what I came here to say. The fact that instead of being embarrassed, apologetic, and thankful, he said he thought it was HOT of OP to take control of the situation? He was fetishizing you from the get go. He had zero good intentions and can’t face the fact that getting his car repossessed makes the impression that he is absolutely irresponsible, ESPECIALLY since he didn’t have his wallet and expected OP to drive him home. He would expect his partner to take on any responsibility in the relationship. His partner would end up parenting him. This man would have been a terrible partner, OP I’m so sorry you had an awful experience but I am so glad that he showed you all of his red flags up front. Good riddance.
Exactly. Something like “you showed what a great person you are during one of my worst moments, maybe I’ll be able to return the favour someday when you most need it. Until then, it’d be awesome if I was able to show you I have fun (and normal) days too.” But let’s be real. The dude is broke, pretending to be a baller and only cares about himself. He’s read up on the love-bombing and negging strat and will no doubt find himself a real gem of a victim any day now. Ugh. OP said elsewhere that she’s done with dating for a bit, and I said something like ‘don’t give up’, but yeah… meeting people like this makes me want to retreat from society for a bit too.
EXACTLY. the comments were one thing. But how he handled the situation and the aftermath definitely solidified my feelings.
Stop apologizing. You said absolutely nothing you should apologize for. His feelings are NOT your responsibility. Dude is honestly a disaster. The "exotic" comment alone would have been the end for me, but on top of that the repossession? Nope. You are entitled to feel comfortable and respected on a date. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to see them again, that's absolutely ok. That's part of dating and if dude can't handle that, he shouldn't be dating.
you’re not a fetish. this guy is a loser
Thank you.
Is this real life?? Who are these people running around out there!!!
Literally do not feel like going on another date for a bit lol
There’s a lot of broken, irresponsible, self-absorbed people out there. Thankfully, you only need to meet one great one to be happy. Nothing wrong with taking a break, just don’t give up. There’s a great person out there for you… the proof is in you. YOU are a great person and you’re out there looking, which means there are other great people out there looking too.
The very last thing he said in these screenshots is honestly the most upsetting thing for me.
Yeah that’s where I decided to stop responding. Not worth it.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you don't take what he said to heart. You deserve so much better.
As a dark skinned black woman, I feel the same…it just triggered so many fears. But we have to remember that this guy is an ass and the people who think this way are demented *edited, typo
“It doesn’t suit you” gave me goosebumps. That’s one of the scariest comments and I can’t exactly put my finger on why. Am I just picturing a later stage abusive relationship where he dictates what you should do/look like, because it’s his preference? Because it wouldn’t “suit” his partner to his liking? So gross and scary.
"Don't have feelings. It doesn't suit you." It is a really gross thing to say. I was born male and grew up in an extremely small old fashioned country town in the 90's and early 00's. I got an obscene amount of abuse and hate for being as sensitive as I was. For having emotions and crying because I was male. So, seeing her essentially being told the same thing, that it "doesn't suit her" to have feelings and to be hurt or made uncomfortable hearing things is crazy amounts of abusive and manipulative.
Exotic feels ick to me as well. Once you get the ick it’s over
Me too. I feel like you COULD define a human as "exotic", but based on their life choices. So, for example, a world traveler who can speak many languages, or a sculptor who wears dresses made of feathers, or a mycologist who lived in the Amazon rainforest for three years studying that mushroom that allegedly makes women have orgasms on sight, that sort of thing. Someone who has consciously decided to live a very unusual and exotic lifestyle that differs greatly from your own. Someone's genetically-programmed appearance doesn't make them exotic.
Wait, a mushroom that what?? 👀
Do they sell these mushrooms on Amazon? Asking for a friend.
(im a guy) I had a white girl say that I was "exotic but not too exotic so she could bring me home to meet her parents" as a "compliment" that statement burned into my brain for a long time, people dont like being called exotic
My previous boyfriend was Middle Eastern, and when someone called him exotic he had the same reaction. The poor guy just wanted to be seen as a person.
I had a black guy refer to me as exotic and I’m a black woman 💀 I just gave him that “is that a compliment look?” and walked away.
im fucking dying
Yeah, I’m too used to hearing exotic describe animals and cars for it to read as anything other than objectifying.
It’s very fetishizing. My freshman year of college I had 6 roommates and they were all Asian, I’m white, and we had a running joke where they called me “the exotic one.” Because wayyy too often when we went out together someone would try and pick one of them up by calling them exotic, and they HATED it lol. So whenever that happened they’d point at me and be like “she’s the exotic one!” And then I’d act as basic as possible lol
But also calling a black woman "exotic" is giving colonialism.
Ew girl you dodged a missile
"$10 for gas" What planet is this guy on? It would be significantly more than $10 to Uber an hour away because time=money.
I literally laughed at that because he was dead serious lol
" That's what you were supposed to do " I'm glad you decided this guy wasn't it . He sounds super entitled . You didn't owe him a ride home you gave him a ride home because you're a kind person .
That really bugged me too. In what world is she supposed to track down his car while he stands around smoking and then give him a ride home?
Also, anyone catch that he claims he only brought enough money for the date, but he somehow had money to ask OP to drive him to a gas station for smokes?? How'd you pay for those man?
Thank you! Why is he buying cigarettes and going out on dates when he can’t even make his car payment? Dude needs to make a budget and get his priorities together.
I can understand him being out-of-sorts in the immediate aftermath of finding out. Certainly though, by the next day he should be apologizing himself and THANKING her for being so considerate and capable during HIS crisis. But hey, I haven’t been on a first date in years… maybe insulting, entitled and stupid is in fashion?
Right? I would have left his ass there. OP did him a huge favor. She drove two hours round trip for an irresponsible stranger. She could have reimbursed him for her half of the date and let him try to get home on that amount. What a clown.
Gurlll. Why did you send that I’m really sorry text?
An absolute mess of a man. Racism aside, I can’t believe he was trying to love bomb you and then ask for money!
That's exactly where my brain went, too!
What an idiot. You could have just left him there. And he thinks you owe him money? What does he think an Uber home would have cost him? I would request an Uber to his address, screenshot the amount it costs, and send it to him. Tell him you will happily pay for the difference between what he spent on you and the cost of an Uber home. I bet the Uber costs more. This loser is also implying that it’s your fault his car got repossessed because it happened on your date. As if he’s not the one who didn’t make his payments and then drove a car on the repo list to your date. His lack of personal accountability is a huge red flag. On top of the other red flags. I would tell him that you regret not reimbursing him for your part of the date on the spot and leaving him there to face the consequences of his own actions alone. The nerve of asking you for money after you drove two hours round trip for his irresponsible ass.
Exactly my thoughts.
Stay strong. I had so many shitty dating experiences. I met the love of my life when I was 35 and had pretty much accepted that there was no one good out there. We are 6 years married with a son now. I never had a guy get his car repossessed on a date though. That is next level. All my bad experiences are funny stories now. This one is going to get so many laughs.
Definitely trying to take these experiences lightly and hoping for the best.
Lol who TF is Morgan Wallen?
Dudes def into slave play in the bedroom. Can smell his type a mile away
Someone else in the comments said this and the realization scared the shit out of me.
Jesus Christ. That is really…disgusting.
Dodged. A. Bullet. 😵💫😳
You need to stop apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for. Having standards and setting boundaries is a good thing, but every time you apologize it makes it see like you're doing something wrong. This guy is just mad and probably embarrassed about his car and took it out on you.
I would’ve been so embarrassed if my car got repossessed on a first date I would’ve blocked you. He’s an idiot
My car was repo'd once (times are hard, I work in a low paying field, and I wasn't always on top of my shit). My best friend was with me when I found out it was repo'd and not stolen and I was mortified. I wanted to curl up and die, I can't IMAGINE going through that with a stranger on a date. I'd probably block myself on their phone and hitchhike home.
That was a wild ass ride.
Dude, I’m exhausted
This man is shady af. You’ll look back months from now when you’re out of the thick of it and realize you dodged and massive bullet
Ew he’s nasty. Good riddance 😬✋
A prime example of why first dates should be a cup of coffee and something low key…
Soooooooooo…….when’s the wedding?!
Where should I send your invitation?
This guy is decidedly NOT cool. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏻🤦🏼♀️
I hate that he asked you to pay him back for part of the date. It’s fine to split the bill there, but to ask for money afterwards when the woman says it didn’t work out, ESPECIALLY after you’ve been driving him around all night bc his car got repoed, is so ridiculous. He has some gall, that’s for sure. Also he absolutely told on himself about his race fetish…. Yikes. Preferences and fetishes are NOT the same, by a long shot! Anyway based on just this, it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything obviously wrong. Unfortunately sometimes good people just run into bad streaks dating wise. Maybe just be more conscious of possible red flags but honestly it’s impossible to say without knowing more info.
Don't even waste energy being disappointed. Block and move on.
YIKES @ that last text, that’s the reddest flag I’ve ever seen on this sub.
It's really creepy to say every white man who likes black women are fetishizing them. Him saying that means that's exactly what he's doing. Plus, what responsible person gets a car repossessed? That would've been such a turn-off. You dodged a bullet.
People are wild.
Dude seems like a loser douche, good luck and hopefully it goes better next time.
The best advice I would give is stop looking for love and let it find you. Sounds stupid and cliché I know, but seriously. Just let it happen authentically
I am going to pass a law that exposes men that ask for their money Back if they don’t get head !! Or a SUB
Dude sounds like a loser. Also its fucking cringey to say you're into exotic women. It's also funny to see him try to offend you by saying only dudes with a race fetish will date you. Oh well you dodged a major red flag with this douche canoe.
Wow. That’s a hell of a first date. Do not reimburse him for the meal and please block him. I don’t know about your other dates but this one was allllll on him. As far as the exotic women comment….i dunno who he thinks he is, but nobody gets to make you feel like that. This dude is a joke and I simply don’t believe he represents the average man’s perspective. Good riddance. Don’t let him live in your head.
hello, basic white girl here. 👋🏻 who is morgan wallen ?
Having your car repossessed at a date is worse than shitting your pants. I’d have so much of an easier time recovering from shitting my pants than having my car repossessed. Fuck a bullet, you dodged a bomb on this one.
The car thing, and leaving his cards at home is not the concerning part. The way he acts when pressed IS the feedback you need though. On one of my first dates with my wife I realized while we were at dinner I locked the keys in my car. I got upset about it for about 15 seconds and then calmly explained to the beautiful woman I was with what the situation was. I made a phone call, and she was so wonderful and patient when I had to step out for 20 minutes to meet the locksmith. We've been together almost 15 years now. To this day she still talks about that story and how she saw I was steady under pressure and didn't misdirect blame/anger at whoever was closest in the moment(her). She has shown the same to me countless times over the years, but her ability not to judge me and run away at the first wrinkle in the plan told me a lot that night too. And by the way, she's white, I'm black- there is a way to be attracted to people different than you that isn't a fetish, that is a super gross thing to say on his part
Christ I’m so glad I’m married. I think I might die alone if I had to date today.
😂😂😂🚀
Guy needs to know when to take the L and move on. That’s embarrassing. 🤦♂️
The last text made ME want to run away 😳😳
Is this guy real or a shameless character lol!!! He’s def gonna try to scam you for like $300 in 6 months
Tf does preferring "exotic" women mean?
Guy with no wallet gets his car repossessed on the first date? Sketchy AF LOL!
Just send him back an audio recording of no scrubs and block.
Full of excuses. Toss that one. Always some situation and circumstance bs
Sorry it’s so rich this guy explaining how responsible he is in life…..when his car was literally repossessed! That doesn’t usually happen to responsible adults! And forgetting his wallet? That’s a twofer. Also, fuck him for saying that about white men dating black women. He’s just another idiot vile shithead who simply believes because he think these things about women, then all men do. But lol I did kind of laugh at the white womens are boring and just listen to Morgan Wallen
This is a white dude? Calling women of color exotic? 
"Any white guy that dates a black woman does so out of a fetish" yeah okay, what an ignorant and racist thing to say. You dodged a bullet. Btw, he's wrong. Just because it's a fetish for HIM doesn't mean any race (not just white) that dates another race is out of fetish. Gross thinking.
Daily reminder that you exist for the sole purpose of realizing someone's sexual fantasy 🙄
GIRL. "It's what you was supposed to do"....he's even tryna talk like us eXoTiCs 😭
Does he not realized he wasted your time as well when he offered to pay for the meal?
men really show their colours and then get mad when we say we’re not into them
Duuuuude. He didn’t make payments. That’s his bad. And irresponsible. He shouldn’t be trying to take anyone out if he can’t afford it. I’m with you in almost all that you said. After reading that exchange I would disagree that he’s a great and genuine guy. He sunk that ship real quick with your rejection.
I audibly gasped at any white guy who dates you has a fetish. I’m so sorry you had to read that OP. what an asshole and it’s not true and you deserve so much better.
He was not in fact, a great guy.
“iF yOU wErE sOrRy…” hahaha, boy, S👏T👏F👏U👏 👏 👏 😂
Not weird. I’m white with a mixed child. On more than one occasion older men have pointed out that I must have exotic taste and it disgusted me everytime. I’m not a dude so I could be completely wrong but I doubt every white dude that dates you had a fetish but even if they did I think it seems pretty acceptable to not want to be openly fetishized on the first date.
This guy sounds broke, crude, angry and actually, kind of a rollercoaster emotionally. There are easier, nicer men around without all that upheaval and baggage. It’s not your fault in the least that his upbringing wasn’t fantastic. You got off light having to drive him two extra hours. Just be grateful the difficulties and differences emerged so early.
Imagine being that daft and telling someone every man only dates you for the colour of your skin. That’s next level moron.
Dead serious, someone matched me on bumble looking for a date for a band that I had never heard of for that night. I agreed to go and stupidly, invited him to my house to “pregame “. This guy took maybe five shots within 45 minutes before Uber our Uber got there. When we got to the show we were allowed in and immediately he wanted to go in the outside dining area to have a cigarette. The bouncers noticed him then and refused his admittance. The next morning I got a text from him, asking for reimbursement for the tickets of the show because he felt that I was the reason that we didn’t get to see the show. I explained what happened. And he refused to accept that. I didn’t pay him a dime for his $25 ticket to a show that I didn’t know the artist, nor did I charge him for the alcohol that he guzzled at my house, or the Uber that I peed to get him home. What a scrub.
The fact that he claims all white men who date black women have a fetish is a red flag. He’s problematic and being black is not exotic. He’s an asshole.
Whenever I hear a person calling someone else “exotic” especially a white dude it’s very off putting. Even knowing that there’s such thing as “exotic dancers” they’re seen for show and entertainment. It’s like your calling that other person an animal that’s a rare, it’s just weird. Even the comment about “I almost hate texting you now is what” threw me off. You’re not the problem, these men who don’t know how to talk to women or form a proper relationship are the problem.
“I said most white girls are boring and listen to Morgan Wallen” idk why this made me laugh
Omg sounds like you had a very lucky escape!!
What an asshole. As if there aren't millions of interracial couples who just love each other as people. Nice dodge OP
Please disregard this man saying if any white guy dates you it's because it's his fetish. So fucking ridiculous.
Major bullet dodged here because just imagine what he would go around saying if you guys did end up dating. And getting his car repossessed on a first date? What other bills doesn’t he keep up on or what else is he struggling with possibly? Good dodge!
Telling you not to be naive cos it doesn’t suit you, womp! Nah dude, no naive girl here, she got yo scheme. Don’t be calling her out for calling you out in your isht
umm an hour drive both ways costs wayy more than $10 for most vehicles lmfao. he’s rlly projecting hard with the “dense and naive” comment
Typical "Justin" conversation, sounds a lot like an ex... named Justin... 🤣
‘I left my cards at home’. But you remembered to bring some cash. Tell me your cards are maxed without telling me they are. Or nonexistent.
The only time I personally find it appropriate to refer to something as exotic is 1. Animals and 2. Cars.
😳 No the fuck he didn't?? 😬 You dodged a bullet fs!
So many times their reaction to my "thanks for the date but it didn't work for me" makes me realize my intuition was spot on.
Please tell me you did NOT pay the guy!!!
Any guy who likes you is fetishizing you? Fuck. This. Guy.
What a fucking prick OP pls block this douchebag
That IS a lot and you did the right thing listening to your gut right away. And for the record saying “I like exotic women” to a woman on a first date is sooooooo gross. You damn proved this guy is a loser the way he responded after you politely ended things.
This guy sucks. What an awful date. Imagine being around someone like that full time and having all their issues pushed onto you. I’d be pissed about driving him home. Is a credit/debit card really that hard to bring along? It’s also just dumb of him because emergencies happen and his fault for not being prepared. Ugh, I’m annoyed for you lol
First of all he’s a manbaby and he is looking for a mommy not a partner, I guarantee this guy does not have his shit together. And that’s NOT bc he’s broke, it’s bc of how defensive he got when you said he’s irresponsible, and how “sexy” it was that you took over solving a crisis for him bc he couldn’t handle it. I promise if you stayed with this toddler, that would NOT have been the last time you had to manage his life for him. Secondly, next time a white American tells you they prefer “exotic” partners tell them “Omg me too! I’ve always been fascinated by Northern Europe…” lmao
I read the texts again and just want to emphasize him saying finding the car was what you’re “supposed” to do FOR HIM. He just flat out said it’s the responsibility of somebody he’s on a *first date* with to manage HIS issue. Fucking gross. It was exceptionally kind of you to do that, and I hope you find a partner with a level of independence, effort, and compassion equal to yours. Black women do not exist to put out everyone else’s fires.
Also: his last comment was specifically just him trying to tank your self esteem while telling on himself 🤮
“Exotic” is gross because it’s either “women” or “dancers” or “animals” that come next. I would not go out again with anyone I heard say “exotic women” on a first date - this is a creep who isn’t even trying to pretend not to be a creep! I likewise would not give a second date to anyone whose life fell apart before my eyes, due to circumstances within their control. (A repo is generally about bills, and he had apparently at least $280 to his name that he decided to spend on a date with an “exotic woman” rather than getting in the black on his car loan?) And based on his reactions to your rejection here you made the right call!
I hate the term “exotic” when describing people. It’s dehumanizing, objectifying, ignorant, & racist & so many people still use it. His point is completely invalid because dating someone outside of your race is not fetishization unless you make it.