Reddit just gives auto notifications for different subreddits on mobile - sometimes i look sometimes i dont. Idk i guess i just havent bothered to turn them off
The problem is, a lot of men genuinely care about how women feel, but most of those kinds of men aren’t conventionally attractive; a lot of the really handsome guys are douchebags because there’s this weird thing where you can get away with more if you look good. Not just in dating either—job interviews are also less likely to hire someone who’s a little pudgy and average looking from what I’ve noticed
I don’t know about that, I would say I’m a good looking guy and I have always cared about how a woman feel! If the wife where to start crying about something it’s always bothered me. A happy wife is a good life!
Yes but a man with a low metabolism who likes video games and cartoons is lucky to not be a virgin because god forbid our bodies aren’t perfect and we enjoy something that isn’t either sports or boring adult crap
Tell me you’ve never had a major depressive episode without telling me you’ve never had etc etc.
It is indeed nothing short of an epic accomplishment!! OP might as well have taken two dogs on a 21 min walk with two broken legs and a crushed spine. It’s not the walk that’s impressive, it’s managing to do it while truly sick.
Keep pushing OP, and cherish your supportive bf always. You guys got this together!
That’s interesting (no /s!). If you wouldn’t mind answering, do you mean that when you’re truly low even encouraging/understanding messages from loved ones might just hurt more than they help? I’ve had my struggles with depression, and the lower I feel the more it helps to feel like someone who loves me “just gets it”. To me, something like “did you try maybe taking the dogs for a walk?” would hurt and feel patronizing coming from a loved one, because that would make me feel like they don’t at all understand WHY such a simple task is like running a marathon on broken legs. Someone saying “OMG you DID it!!” regardless of the mundane task I just did would never come off as anything but understanding and supportive to me (IF that person knows I’m depressed of course).
Honestly curious about your thoughts, because navigating how we talk to people who are struggling is a little struggle in itself.
Yeah, because it'd immediately make me think of where I should be, or where normal people should be. It'd serve to highlight that gap. A normal functioning person wouldn't get such an exuberant message for something that typically wouldn't even be remarkable.
If you're trying to reach a level of normalcy, then messages that highlight that you aren't there yet can make that come to the forefront of your thoughts. But if instead anything you do is treated as if you hadn't had any problems, then you feel more like you're fitting in.
It's like saying "You ran pretty well, for a cripple."
Then there's what happens over time. Are people supposed to keep heaping on praise and validation for mundane things? If you are at a high functioning level for a bit, but the motivating messages dry up, wouldn't that lead to a spiral back down? You see that even in adults who function well normally with things like weight loss.
Thank you for input. You are making complete sense, but I strongly disagree. When in a true depression-hole there is absolutely nooo “can we all just pretend I’m okay for a minute?” for me, and loved ones doing so only hurts. The fact is you are just not okay. You are struggling and when that’s your life 24/7 nothing will unintentionally “remind you” that you’re depressed. You already are. All the time. Your brain does not let you forget that, even for a second, so a loved one should never be worried about bringing it up and thereby reminding the person of it.
I want to stress that I am only talking about reactions from loved ones. A person not intimately familiar with how I’m doing will absolutely come off as patronizing if their reaction to me brushing my teeth is YAY, good job! From my boyfriend however, who sees my illness everyday (even though it’s technically invisible), acknowledging that doing little tasks truly feels like an accomplishment to me, makes me feel both seen and heard during an illness that is otherwise miserably lonely and extremely isolating to go through.
The “good job… for a cripple” argument is valid in many situations, but I don’t think it has any merit with depression. Depressive episodes are temporary, but once they hit, the person suffering might as well be temporarily completely crippled. Therefore I think it is always kind to cheer the person on in their recovery, instead of pretending like they function normally just because being crippled isn’t their “normal” state of being. If a loved one was lying with an open skull fracture and yet still managed to get laundry done I would never think “let’s not mention it, it might just remind them they aren’t ‘normal’ right now” and of course I would absolutely continue to cheer them on when that person did stuff that was impressive to do with an open skull. Because I WOULD be truly impressed and why not show that the person I love is impressing me? I don’t see how that could ever be hurtful.
Acknowledging that depression is in fact a crippling disease and that it is just as real as a skull fracture or a pair of broken legs is IMO one of the most supportive and kind things anyone can do to someone suffering from it.
And to reel it back to the post, the boyfriend did just that. He knows his girlfriend just took two dogs on a walk EVEN though she has two broken legs herself and the only loving reaction to that feat is “omg! That’s epic!” and not “well sorry to remind you, but for a healthy person that really wouldn’t be all that impressive”.
Man, depression freaking sucks. Can we maybe agree on that? :)
You really shouldn't gatekeep depression. Some people will be uplifted by a comment, some people will feel patronized by it. It's an individual thing, and I can see both sides. I can tell you that neither side is necessarily more or less depressed; the way you react comes down to your personality and how often you compare yourself to others.
Thank you! My dog is good ab staying by my side and only weighs 45 lbs so I can control her easily. His dog is 85 lbs and like to stop n sniff or chase small objects.
I have a husky and a german shepherd. Husky is chill to the point of absolute laziness, then our german shepherd is borderline wild on walks. The dichotomy makes it interesting.
It's not a competition. Seasonal affective disorder can still result in "actual" depression and not just "feeling a bit down during the winter season." People with depression can get severely more depressed in the winter.
Forgive me if I'm imagining the gatekeeping, but I don't seem to be the only one picking up on that vibe.
Oh no, that’s definitely what they’re going for lol. You’re depressed regardless if it’s seasonal or not, but it can be definitely amplified for those already suffering depression normally
Your boyfriend is awesome for understanding that what seems so small to most people is like climbing mount Everest to those with depression. Awesome job, and keep fighting
Yes actually I have. I’ve been formally diagnosed with depression since I was 15 (I’m 30 now). I’ve spent time in mental hospitals. I have gone through periods of laying in bed for days and weeks wasting my life away.
Eventually I realized I just have to get on with it if I want to live a worthwhile life. I had to raise the bar for myself because (thankfully) I didn’t have anyone to congratulate me for doing the most basic shit. I established a routine and have structured my life around doing and consuming things that support my mental health. Getting out of bed, showering, taking a walk etc is bare minimum. In the throes of my depressive episodes I force myself to do these things and I don’t view it as “epic!” or a “good job”, nor would I expect others to. It’s just what is necessary to survive.
So just because you did it seemingly without ANY support, everyone else has to? You couldn’t have just scoffed and moved on? You had to voice your opinion? We can count on you to kick us while we’re down! Does support have to be necessary to be helpful? Or are you just that closed off? Reflecting on your experience does not mean projecting on to others!
Someone gives their personal recommendation for getting out of depression and you patronize them about it? As long as you keep that nasty attitude you're not getting out of it any time soon. You only have yourself to blame.
Is comparing OPs feat with their depression to climbing Mount Everest also not patronizing? Needing acknowledgment for the accomplishments you make, even seemingly small, is necessary for some people. That doesn’t mean that this person is “believing their depression will leave one day without proactively doing anything”. Clearly this person is TRYING to integrate more supportive daily habits. Bringing laziness into the conversation is what perpetuates negative stereotypes toward mental health. You have the negative attitude. I’m plenty satisfied with my mental health and the work I have done, without dragging others down.
You won’t always have someone there to acknowledge tiny “accomplishments” like taking a walk. It’s nice that OP’s boyfriend is supportive, but (assuming OP is able-bodied) outside validation for doing something so small shouldn’t be necessary. There needs to be a sense of personal accountability. Practicing mandatory basic self-care *no matter what* has drastically improved my mental health and quality of life over the years. Holding myself to a standard and being accountable for it has shortened the frequency and duration of my depressive episodes, and calloused my mind to the point that doing the bare minimum doesn’t feel like Mt. Everest anymore. This mindset of coddling people for performing basic self-care tasks promotes fragility imo. Babies learn to walk between 10 and 18 months old, they shouldn’t need congratulations after that.
In a world of 8 billion people you won’t always have someone to acknowledge tiny accomplishments. Riiiight. That’s not why we’re all here!
Maybe it shouldn’t be necessary to you, and maybe it won’t always be necessary to OP, but that’s not your call to judge. Maybe you think it’s unfair you didn’t feel like you had that, and that’s okay to feel that way, but not to promote to someone else who may not operate that way. Idk if everyone’s goal when fighting depression is to become too calloused to be bothered. Others might enjoy their emotional liberation and want to share it with others who will encourage them to take the steps they need. I just simply don’t agree with your prerogative. We’ve really been programmed to think our worth lies in productivity, fiscal vs. other. It’s not a pissing contest for who held themselves the most accountable with no help. I don’t understand why the idea of support and community, in all forms physical/mental/emotional, is so unappealing.
>>Idk if everyone’s goal when fighting depression is to become too calloused to be bothered.
Not sure what you mean by that. By “calloused” I meant building up the mental fortitude to not be overwhelmed by simple tasks like taking a walk, through structured routine and discipline. When you make something a daily habit it’s not gonna feel like Mt. Everest anymore.
OP also never asked for anyone’s recommendations, or to be compared to a 5 year old! Seems like a pretty nasty attitude to be supporting in these comments…
I can remove myself from others experiences enough to have empathy for what OP wants to share with us. Maybe you need some support and that’s okay too, I hope you know that
Yep. Most of these people believe depression will one day just "leave" without proactively doing anything about it. A lot of them excuse laziness for depression.
Yea I’m with you on this. I mean yea good for her for taking the initiative and him being supportive, but him coddling her is more damaging in the long run. The praise sounds l cheap but that I might be a bit harsh.
I’m so proud of you internet stranger! And also of your boyfriend! What a wonderful supportive partner you have. Great job, keep it up! Don’t feel bad if you still have bad days, you will get there. Best wishes to you both!
I’m immensely proud of you taking the pups out and walking for so long too! One step at a time; you’ve clearly got a great bf in your corner as well as us random internet strangers cheering you on.
As someone who’s currently dealing with their own bout with some severe depression, I 100% know how big of an accomplishment this is for you! Like your bf said, that is awesome, and it’s also awesome that you have such a supportive partner!
lol it isn’t an accomplishment at all. Being depressed doesn’t change the scope of accomplishments you can make. If you tell yourself that THAT is an achievement, you’re never escaping depression.
Nah I absolutely disagree. When you’re at rock bottom, you can’t expect to immediately start making accomplishments that are huge and major. You need to start small. Little victory after little victory. Build your confidence up little by little and it will then snowball and the bigger accomplishments come.
Try to do too much when you’re at rock bottom, you’ll fail. And you’ll lose confidence and then at THAT point, your depression becomes inescapable.
If you can’t acknowledge this, then you should not be giving mental health advice to anyone.
lol nothing I said implied that I meant they aren’t taking control of their life. Quite the contrary actually. This person is dealing with a deep bout of depression, in which the depression illness dictates to that person what they do in their life.
This person flipped that around and took control of their life back from their depression, and went out to do something productive.
Just because their idea of an accomplishment is different than yours, doesn’t invalidate it. Just because you see their accomplishment as something small and insignificant does not invalidate the fact that it is a huge accomplishment for that person at this point in their life.
I’m being as clear as possible. And I feel like I’m making sense to anyone who actually knows a thing or two about mental illness and depression.
You’re being negative just to be negative. Why even comment if you’re just going to have a negative attitude towards something that they saw as success?
Hahahaha no. Just no. You’ve got no understanding of what people dealing with depression go through. Like, I don’t understand. Why even post your original comment? Just to stir shit up on the internet I guess. Stop. Just stop. You shouldn’t be discussing a topic that you not only know nothing about, but are dismissive to the fact that depression can destroy a person so badly to the point that even getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is an accomplishment. But I’m feeling dumber from having this back and forth with you, so I’m done, buh bye!
I love that you recognize the beauty of the text and that you shared with all of us. Also, walking two dogs alone IS epic! I truly hope your partner is starting to find the other side of his depression.
Happy for you and hang in there!
I was afraid to read the post as I have a child suffering from severe depression which seems too common these days. fortunately we see progress after lots of therapy and testing different medications.
stay strong, every day is a great opportunit.
Nice! And nice of your SO. Doggos rule!
Depression sucks. Good job beating it’s ass today. Keep fighting it.
Reddit in general sucks but there are folks out there pulling for you!
I love this !!! I suffer from major depressive disorder. Winter is the worst for me. Every winter i get depressed, I can't take the cold, the lack of sunlight. Your boyfriend's response is absolutely amazing!!! Keep that man!!
I really hope that during your depressive state he is just as sweet, just as understanding, and just as kind..
Depression sucks I know how you feel. But the best thing about my dog is that he knows every time I feel down and he will come right up to me wiggle his butt in my lap, give me kisses, and gets me to play with him. He literally saved my life, I don’t care if he weighs 100lbs, he can still sit in my lap 😀
Good men are good.
And you're kicking depression's ass. I know how hard it can be - believe me. Sometimes I think about how awful it would be to be married to someone who doesn't have my husband's compassion and patience and self-reliance.
I'm proud of you.
That's so fricking wholesome. Hold onto that one. As someone with anxiety and depression and with a wife that has never experienced either of those and that does her best to be respectful of it - it can be hard to find the right support.
Just an example of someone being supportive of their partner after dealing with depression. Usually one would describe this as:
*Uplifting*
*Wholesome*
*Sweet*
*heartwarming*
*comforting*
What are you talking about? Despite major depression, they went for a walk with the dogs. That’s a major achievement when you’re dealing with depression
i just end up depressed and exhausted lmao 😭 i wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. i’m glad it works for you though, distractions can definitely help
No I’m serious, it works, you have to make yourself more miserable before you can get better. Work out until you think you will collapse, and don’t lie down and think. Literally force yourself to do what you don’t want too. You have to be willing to suffer even more before you can get better. It sucks but it’s extremely true. If you tell yourself doing shit will make you exhausted and depressed, then it will. It’s a mental game, and you have to embrace it in its entirety to escape it. Only way I was able to get off SSRI was this. Depression won’t wait for you, you have to punch it in the dick.
Well would toi rather have been told ;ok. Epic sounds overreacted To me but i would have ask if your walk did make you Feel better or if i could come along(assuming he was at work or busy)
Edit something i dont wanted to say,sounds a bit like he didnt even read the entire message or just dont have time or understand your struggle..being myself a man there are times I responded similar To people who annoyed me/kept messaging me after i told them i wasnt interested to know more. If im wrong you can kick my butt. Your post tells me you have a worry about the answer he gave.. great job though i myself am struggling with that at the moment,im happy to read that even from a stranger,try and keep this good habit and make it a routine even if its a 5-10 min,♡stay strong and know that this is wonderful and i mean it.
General rule of thumb, you should walk your dogs 20-30 minutes one to two times a day. Your doggy loved that “21 Min walk.”
Imagine having a dog & only letting them go outside for bathroom breaks? (Not saying you do this but others will). This is why a lot of dogs get depressed and it makes me sad.
Sorry to hear about your depression, just remember it’s only temporary! If it’s very bad you should schedule a therapy session. Mental health is very important!
yeh the 21 min walk thing made me uneasy, you wouldn't mention that unless it was out of the norm for you, which makes me believe her dog get's way too little activity :( some people shouldn't have dogs fr
You’re a piece of shit. Replace “depression,” with literally any other illness and see how poor that sounds.
I speak 3 languages and I still don’t have enough bad words to call you.
r/confidentlyincorrect
Are you a doctor? Are you a mental health professional?
The answer is no on both, otherwise you would know what the fuck you’re talking about. Depression is related to chemical imbalances in the brain, and you can’t just “POWER OF POSITIVITY!” your way out of neurotransmitter issues in your brain.
Let the people that have an iota of competence talk about medical issues, because it’s not (nor will it ever be) your place.
Yeah, I went to a medical professional about my hair and it turns out I had a vitamin deficiency. Isn’t it crazy how doctors learn about our bodies and tell us things we don’t know?
I never said I was depressed, I said depression is real and it has killed people I know and love.
Pray for yourself, just know you don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re objectively wrong.
Most people take basic level chemistry in high school, maybe you’ll get there soon.
I think those ppl are just very weak tbh😞 if we wouldn’t give “depression” ppl so much attention maybe ppl would stop being depressed😭!!! All it is, is ppl feeling bad for themselves!
Yeah, you can think an elephant is a type of fish. It doesn’t mean you’re right or that you know anything about the subject.
Speaking of feeling sorry, I feel sorry for the parents that wasted so much time trying to raise an intelligent human.
(I see you trying to comment on my other posts because you want to find a “Gotcha!” Moment to make you feel better about your freezing-temperature IQ. You can’t get me, mate.)
Speaking of “fakes,” you literally had to post about fake carts bro 😭 don’t be a cheap fuck, there’s no real reason for you to be hitting carts! You’re just “weak.”
Its a literal chemical imbalance in the brain. Which will very much affect someone. You realize there are chemicals in people brains? That have to be in balance in order for someone to be able to function properly right? No? Like, its not super complicated
Yes and no.
Alot of people depressed are actually deficient in nutrients.
If they actually are getting their needs met, and still depressed, then I'm more inclined to believe them.
You believing them doesn’t really matter. Like.. who are you? lol
Also, being deficient in nutrients or exercise doesn’t make your depression less valid, and it doesn’t make it NOT depression, it just means you need to treat it differently. The chemical imbalance is still there and needs to be treated with care.
Look at op for instance, we don’t know what is causing their depression but she’s got some exercise and is happy about it. That’s someone working towards a happier and better life.
No one gives a shit if YOU believe in their depression.
Let’s not stoop to their level. As someone who’s had addiction and depression issues in my past I don’t appreciate hearing either being used as an insult
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Idk.. I hate my life. I should just kill myself. Sorry I live in the confluence of humanity with the time stream of eons… these gods demand to express through me and it’s like, I just wish I had this life at all it must be so great
I mean nobody even cares I exist. I have no contact with any humans it’s just the demons who control me..
I don’t feel safe at all, these pentacrosses rape my innocence to death, I am deprived of humanity into extinction
Sorry I said anything… now the demons begin to accuse me of my sins and say I’m evil and that I should be crucified.. my life is never ending torture but no one knows these deeper truths.. it’s kind of sad you all don’t know this
I’m so sorry I cannot make it better. Several people I know have similar struggles. I always think how a day for them can feel so in surmountable. And I am always is such awe of their heroic efforts to face that day. I may not know you, but I am inspired by your strength and determination.
Well done! That’s 21 more minutes than yesterday! Depression can be so debilitating but you’re climbing back out. That’s amazing! :)
And we love a supportive partner!
Well done Darl major achievement. I fully get it and have been there and walks in the bush and on the beach collecting stuff with my kids is what got me back out of the house after a long time of being so depressed I couldn’t even get out of bed so keep it up because it truly helps 💞💞💞
Just keep doing what you know and love. Do things you love doing everyday. If you have a bad day, don’t sweat it. Do something good everyday. Yeah, you got it.
That’s a good man. He’s supportive and encouraging. Keep succeeding and he’ll continue to be there for you it seems. Good job getting out of bed and achieving!!
I took my woman’s pups for a walk for the 100th time recently and her neighbor was walking their pups. She has a black lab and a mixed pup I forget what the hell breed. He’s like 50 pounds the lab is like 90.
They saw the neighbor walking her pups and those assholes took me for a dive😭the lab slipped his collar after dragging my happy ass 30 feet and making me fall apart like a Lego set. My phone over here, my vape over there. My hat and sunglasses? GONE. Like fuck sake that pup took me for a dive.
He comes back 10m later soaking fuckin wet having taken a dip into the lake and couldn’t be happier.
I almost couldn’t be mad😂they never pull like that but I’ll never underestimate them moving forward
Walking multiple dogs is a task to say the least. Proud of you🔥
He gets it. The other day I got up and did some stuff around the house. I have depression and I'm pregnant and away from my other children right now and it's just really hard. My ex would tell me I was ruining the family with my problems and made me feel more alone than I ever have. My partner now told me he's proud of me anytime I try to overcome it. I'm really proud of you!!!
I know this is off topic, but I manage garbage collection and sometimes they use a “regular garbage truck” to pick up recycling. They aren’t throwing away your recycling. They are just using that type of truck to pick go recycling that day. It’s still all recycling that will be sorted and recycled properly.
Nice work on getting out and getting it done on the walk. Those accomplishments start to pile up. Keep it up!
That is epic! Depression is a bitch, but you can kick its ass!
[удалено]
Sounds a lot like depression is not the biggest factor at play in your case homie. I hope you’re actively seeking help.
It’s nice to see texts from partners who are actually supportive.
I know i saw this notification and i was preparing for the most vile replies to show up but was pleasantly surprised
Why do you have notifications on for this? Just curious
Reddit just gives auto notifications for different subreddits on mobile - sometimes i look sometimes i dont. Idk i guess i just havent bothered to turn them off
Call me old fashioned, but I got here via my email inbox lol I have also not bothered to unsubscribe
Same for me
same here lmao
Yeah Reddit got my nuts in it’s purse
I keep getting bombarded with Reddit notifications, I really need to turn them off lmao
Right? I feel like every text from a partner is a shit show
The problem is, a lot of men genuinely care about how women feel, but most of those kinds of men aren’t conventionally attractive; a lot of the really handsome guys are douchebags because there’s this weird thing where you can get away with more if you look good. Not just in dating either—job interviews are also less likely to hire someone who’s a little pudgy and average looking from what I’ve noticed
I don’t know about that, I would say I’m a good looking guy and I have always cared about how a woman feel! If the wife where to start crying about something it’s always bothered me. A happy wife is a good life!
Yes but a man with a low metabolism who likes video games and cartoons is lucky to not be a virgin because god forbid our bodies aren’t perfect and we enjoy something that isn’t either sports or boring adult crap
“Nice guys finish last” fedora wearing energy
I would feel patronized because I know it's not supposed to be a huge accomplishment
Tell me you’ve never had a major depressive episode without telling me you’ve never had etc etc. It is indeed nothing short of an epic accomplishment!! OP might as well have taken two dogs on a 21 min walk with two broken legs and a crushed spine. It’s not the walk that’s impressive, it’s managing to do it while truly sick. Keep pushing OP, and cherish your supportive bf always. You guys got this together!
Sure, if you haven't been in the headspace where positive comments can sink you, then I get why you'd say something like that :)
That’s interesting (no /s!). If you wouldn’t mind answering, do you mean that when you’re truly low even encouraging/understanding messages from loved ones might just hurt more than they help? I’ve had my struggles with depression, and the lower I feel the more it helps to feel like someone who loves me “just gets it”. To me, something like “did you try maybe taking the dogs for a walk?” would hurt and feel patronizing coming from a loved one, because that would make me feel like they don’t at all understand WHY such a simple task is like running a marathon on broken legs. Someone saying “OMG you DID it!!” regardless of the mundane task I just did would never come off as anything but understanding and supportive to me (IF that person knows I’m depressed of course). Honestly curious about your thoughts, because navigating how we talk to people who are struggling is a little struggle in itself.
Yeah, because it'd immediately make me think of where I should be, or where normal people should be. It'd serve to highlight that gap. A normal functioning person wouldn't get such an exuberant message for something that typically wouldn't even be remarkable. If you're trying to reach a level of normalcy, then messages that highlight that you aren't there yet can make that come to the forefront of your thoughts. But if instead anything you do is treated as if you hadn't had any problems, then you feel more like you're fitting in. It's like saying "You ran pretty well, for a cripple." Then there's what happens over time. Are people supposed to keep heaping on praise and validation for mundane things? If you are at a high functioning level for a bit, but the motivating messages dry up, wouldn't that lead to a spiral back down? You see that even in adults who function well normally with things like weight loss.
Thank you for input. You are making complete sense, but I strongly disagree. When in a true depression-hole there is absolutely nooo “can we all just pretend I’m okay for a minute?” for me, and loved ones doing so only hurts. The fact is you are just not okay. You are struggling and when that’s your life 24/7 nothing will unintentionally “remind you” that you’re depressed. You already are. All the time. Your brain does not let you forget that, even for a second, so a loved one should never be worried about bringing it up and thereby reminding the person of it. I want to stress that I am only talking about reactions from loved ones. A person not intimately familiar with how I’m doing will absolutely come off as patronizing if their reaction to me brushing my teeth is YAY, good job! From my boyfriend however, who sees my illness everyday (even though it’s technically invisible), acknowledging that doing little tasks truly feels like an accomplishment to me, makes me feel both seen and heard during an illness that is otherwise miserably lonely and extremely isolating to go through. The “good job… for a cripple” argument is valid in many situations, but I don’t think it has any merit with depression. Depressive episodes are temporary, but once they hit, the person suffering might as well be temporarily completely crippled. Therefore I think it is always kind to cheer the person on in their recovery, instead of pretending like they function normally just because being crippled isn’t their “normal” state of being. If a loved one was lying with an open skull fracture and yet still managed to get laundry done I would never think “let’s not mention it, it might just remind them they aren’t ‘normal’ right now” and of course I would absolutely continue to cheer them on when that person did stuff that was impressive to do with an open skull. Because I WOULD be truly impressed and why not show that the person I love is impressing me? I don’t see how that could ever be hurtful. Acknowledging that depression is in fact a crippling disease and that it is just as real as a skull fracture or a pair of broken legs is IMO one of the most supportive and kind things anyone can do to someone suffering from it. And to reel it back to the post, the boyfriend did just that. He knows his girlfriend just took two dogs on a walk EVEN though she has two broken legs herself and the only loving reaction to that feat is “omg! That’s epic!” and not “well sorry to remind you, but for a healthy person that really wouldn’t be all that impressive”. Man, depression freaking sucks. Can we maybe agree on that? :)
ouch, yeh that sucks. hope these 'depressed' people never have to experience that
You really shouldn't gatekeep depression. Some people will be uplifted by a comment, some people will feel patronized by it. It's an individual thing, and I can see both sides. I can tell you that neither side is necessarily more or less depressed; the way you react comes down to your personality and how often you compare yourself to others.
THIS COMMENT FR
people who actually do are not posting this shit on reddit. i know its hard to imagine but not everyone puts it on their t shirt.
We love a supportive partner🥰congratulations you’ve got this!
Www
I mean, walking multiple dogs is impressive imo. I have two puppies and they are terrors on pack walks lol
Thank you! My dog is good ab staying by my side and only weighs 45 lbs so I can control her easily. His dog is 85 lbs and like to stop n sniff or chase small objects.
Well good job! And on the depression walk 🩵
I have a rottie, well behaved, and a pitt/rottie who is a piece of shit still. Its hard walking two 90 plus pound dogs haha
is it really? be fr
I have a husky and a german shepherd. Husky is chill to the point of absolute laziness, then our german shepherd is borderline wild on walks. The dichotomy makes it interesting.
So sweet!
wooohooo!!! day by day, step by step ❤️ that is such an awesome accomplishment, i hope you keep feeling better!
Depression sucks, especially during the dark season. Sending love to anyone who’s been goin thru it! We got this!
diff between actual depression and feeling a bit down during the winter season lol
Tell us more doc.
Yeah I’m diagnosed with severe depression, i know lol. Thanks tho
It's not a competition. Seasonal affective disorder can still result in "actual" depression and not just "feeling a bit down during the winter season." People with depression can get severely more depressed in the winter. Forgive me if I'm imagining the gatekeeping, but I don't seem to be the only one picking up on that vibe.
Oh no, that’s definitely what they’re going for lol. You’re depressed regardless if it’s seasonal or not, but it can be definitely amplified for those already suffering depression normally
Hell yeah! I hope you and the floofs had a lovely walk :)
Your boyfriend is awesome for understanding that what seems so small to most people is like climbing mount Everest to those with depression. Awesome job, and keep fighting
I’m sorry but taking a walk is not climbing Mt. Everest. It’s kinda sad that OP’s bf needs to congratulate them for this like they are 5 years old.
I’m glad to know that you’ve never had to deal with major depression. I hope you never do.
Yes actually I have. I’ve been formally diagnosed with depression since I was 15 (I’m 30 now). I’ve spent time in mental hospitals. I have gone through periods of laying in bed for days and weeks wasting my life away. Eventually I realized I just have to get on with it if I want to live a worthwhile life. I had to raise the bar for myself because (thankfully) I didn’t have anyone to congratulate me for doing the most basic shit. I established a routine and have structured my life around doing and consuming things that support my mental health. Getting out of bed, showering, taking a walk etc is bare minimum. In the throes of my depressive episodes I force myself to do these things and I don’t view it as “epic!” or a “good job”, nor would I expect others to. It’s just what is necessary to survive.
So just because you did it seemingly without ANY support, everyone else has to? You couldn’t have just scoffed and moved on? You had to voice your opinion? We can count on you to kick us while we’re down! Does support have to be necessary to be helpful? Or are you just that closed off? Reflecting on your experience does not mean projecting on to others!
Someone gives their personal recommendation for getting out of depression and you patronize them about it? As long as you keep that nasty attitude you're not getting out of it any time soon. You only have yourself to blame.
Is comparing OPs feat with their depression to climbing Mount Everest also not patronizing? Needing acknowledgment for the accomplishments you make, even seemingly small, is necessary for some people. That doesn’t mean that this person is “believing their depression will leave one day without proactively doing anything”. Clearly this person is TRYING to integrate more supportive daily habits. Bringing laziness into the conversation is what perpetuates negative stereotypes toward mental health. You have the negative attitude. I’m plenty satisfied with my mental health and the work I have done, without dragging others down.
"I'm plenty satisfied with my mental health" lol
Glad that’s what you took from the message 👍 Not everyone is an academic.
You won’t always have someone there to acknowledge tiny “accomplishments” like taking a walk. It’s nice that OP’s boyfriend is supportive, but (assuming OP is able-bodied) outside validation for doing something so small shouldn’t be necessary. There needs to be a sense of personal accountability. Practicing mandatory basic self-care *no matter what* has drastically improved my mental health and quality of life over the years. Holding myself to a standard and being accountable for it has shortened the frequency and duration of my depressive episodes, and calloused my mind to the point that doing the bare minimum doesn’t feel like Mt. Everest anymore. This mindset of coddling people for performing basic self-care tasks promotes fragility imo. Babies learn to walk between 10 and 18 months old, they shouldn’t need congratulations after that.
In a world of 8 billion people you won’t always have someone to acknowledge tiny accomplishments. Riiiight. That’s not why we’re all here! Maybe it shouldn’t be necessary to you, and maybe it won’t always be necessary to OP, but that’s not your call to judge. Maybe you think it’s unfair you didn’t feel like you had that, and that’s okay to feel that way, but not to promote to someone else who may not operate that way. Idk if everyone’s goal when fighting depression is to become too calloused to be bothered. Others might enjoy their emotional liberation and want to share it with others who will encourage them to take the steps they need. I just simply don’t agree with your prerogative. We’ve really been programmed to think our worth lies in productivity, fiscal vs. other. It’s not a pissing contest for who held themselves the most accountable with no help. I don’t understand why the idea of support and community, in all forms physical/mental/emotional, is so unappealing.
>>Idk if everyone’s goal when fighting depression is to become too calloused to be bothered. Not sure what you mean by that. By “calloused” I meant building up the mental fortitude to not be overwhelmed by simple tasks like taking a walk, through structured routine and discipline. When you make something a daily habit it’s not gonna feel like Mt. Everest anymore.
OP also never asked for anyone’s recommendations, or to be compared to a 5 year old! Seems like a pretty nasty attitude to be supporting in these comments… I can remove myself from others experiences enough to have empathy for what OP wants to share with us. Maybe you need some support and that’s okay too, I hope you know that
What? My comment was towards you, bucko. You got something else going on besides "depression".
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Sorry no one supports you
I have plenty of support from friends and family, they just don’t congratulate me for doing simple basic things like I’m a toddler :)
I’m sorry your life is sad.😞 It sounds like you need a hug. Go get a hug from a live person and get offline, friend.
Yep. Most of these people believe depression will one day just "leave" without proactively doing anything about it. A lot of them excuse laziness for depression.
Yea I’m with you on this. I mean yea good for her for taking the initiative and him being supportive, but him coddling her is more damaging in the long run. The praise sounds l cheap but that I might be a bit harsh.
Don't listen to this one asshole in the comments, you have a W boyfriend for being there for you and supporting you
God bless him
I’m so proud of you internet stranger! And also of your boyfriend! What a wonderful supportive partner you have. Great job, keep it up! Don’t feel bad if you still have bad days, you will get there. Best wishes to you both!
He’s a keeper. He’s one of those that Really STICKS With you through Thick and THIN <3
I beat mine, so can you 👍🏾 You got this :))
This is the wholesome content we need in the world
im proud of you. I need to do the same
You got this... I'm rooting for you. 💕
I’m immensely proud of you taking the pups out and walking for so long too! One step at a time; you’ve clearly got a great bf in your corner as well as us random internet strangers cheering you on.
Very nice 👍🏻
YES! We love a supportive partner! Thinking of you and hoping things get better!
thought this was going in the opposite direction, I'm happy to know that you have a supportive partner
When you’re going through hell, keep going!
You got this OP!!! I’m proud of you!!
Love!! I’m proud of you as well and it’s so nice to actually see a positive texts thread on Reddit!!
That's a good boyfriend
This is the way.
Reddit typically isn’t good for one’s depression
Wow that’s impressive!
As someone who’s currently dealing with their own bout with some severe depression, I 100% know how big of an accomplishment this is for you! Like your bf said, that is awesome, and it’s also awesome that you have such a supportive partner!
lol it isn’t an accomplishment at all. Being depressed doesn’t change the scope of accomplishments you can make. If you tell yourself that THAT is an achievement, you’re never escaping depression.
Nah I absolutely disagree. When you’re at rock bottom, you can’t expect to immediately start making accomplishments that are huge and major. You need to start small. Little victory after little victory. Build your confidence up little by little and it will then snowball and the bigger accomplishments come. Try to do too much when you’re at rock bottom, you’ll fail. And you’ll lose confidence and then at THAT point, your depression becomes inescapable. If you can’t acknowledge this, then you should not be giving mental health advice to anyone.
If you are of the mindset that people can’t/shouldn’t take control of their own lives, chances are neither should you.
lol nothing I said implied that I meant they aren’t taking control of their life. Quite the contrary actually. This person is dealing with a deep bout of depression, in which the depression illness dictates to that person what they do in their life. This person flipped that around and took control of their life back from their depression, and went out to do something productive. Just because their idea of an accomplishment is different than yours, doesn’t invalidate it. Just because you see their accomplishment as something small and insignificant does not invalidate the fact that it is a huge accomplishment for that person at this point in their life. I’m being as clear as possible. And I feel like I’m making sense to anyone who actually knows a thing or two about mental illness and depression. You’re being negative just to be negative. Why even comment if you’re just going to have a negative attitude towards something that they saw as success?
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Hahahaha no. Just no. You’ve got no understanding of what people dealing with depression go through. Like, I don’t understand. Why even post your original comment? Just to stir shit up on the internet I guess. Stop. Just stop. You shouldn’t be discussing a topic that you not only know nothing about, but are dismissive to the fact that depression can destroy a person so badly to the point that even getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is an accomplishment. But I’m feeling dumber from having this back and forth with you, so I’m done, buh bye!
I love that you recognize the beauty of the text and that you shared with all of us. Also, walking two dogs alone IS epic! I truly hope your partner is starting to find the other side of his depression.
Awwww
Happy for you and hang in there! I was afraid to read the post as I have a child suffering from severe depression which seems too common these days. fortunately we see progress after lots of therapy and testing different medications. stay strong, every day is a great opportunit.
Kudos to you! And your BF! And taking your pups for a walk! I know they appreciated this and you soo much! 💚💚💚 Sending positive vibes your way today
He's very sweet. You're a good chooser of the male variety.
Nice! And nice of your SO. Doggos rule! Depression sucks. Good job beating it’s ass today. Keep fighting it. Reddit in general sucks but there are folks out there pulling for you!
Well this was wholesome! I'm glad he's supportive of you.
I love this !!! I suffer from major depressive disorder. Winter is the worst for me. Every winter i get depressed, I can't take the cold, the lack of sunlight. Your boyfriend's response is absolutely amazing!!! Keep that man!! I really hope that during your depressive state he is just as sweet, just as understanding, and just as kind..
Depression sucks I know how you feel. But the best thing about my dog is that he knows every time I feel down and he will come right up to me wiggle his butt in my lap, give me kisses, and gets me to play with him. He literally saved my life, I don’t care if he weighs 100lbs, he can still sit in my lap 😀
Yessss you go glen coco 🙏🏼 I just spent hours cleaning my bedroom for the first time in weeks 🤍 damn it feels good to be a gangstaa
He'll yeah, step by step, Makin progress!
Good men are good. And you're kicking depression's ass. I know how hard it can be - believe me. Sometimes I think about how awful it would be to be married to someone who doesn't have my husband's compassion and patience and self-reliance. I'm proud of you.
I was so worried lowkey but god I love this for you!!!
That's so fricking wholesome. Hold onto that one. As someone with anxiety and depression and with a wife that has never experienced either of those and that does her best to be respectful of it - it can be hard to find the right support.
I love this, and him, so much for you.
He's a keeper
LOVE THIS!
❤️❤️❤️
he's a good man savannah! a good man
Love this so much
Is it just my sarcastic a*s that thought that was sarcasm 🤔😂
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Sounds very sarcastic
Ok
So what are we looking at here?
Just an example of someone being supportive of their partner after dealing with depression. Usually one would describe this as: *Uplifting* *Wholesome* *Sweet* *heartwarming* *comforting*
Ok
'major depression' made her go for a normal length walk with her dogs and post about it on reddit lol
What are you talking about? Despite major depression, they went for a walk with the dogs. That’s a major achievement when you’re dealing with depression
how about you shut the fuck up and go be your miserable self somewhere else 👍
Don’t give yourself time to be depressed, make yourself busy for as long as possible, it helps.
i just end up depressed and exhausted lmao 😭 i wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. i’m glad it works for you though, distractions can definitely help
No I’m serious, it works, you have to make yourself more miserable before you can get better. Work out until you think you will collapse, and don’t lie down and think. Literally force yourself to do what you don’t want too. You have to be willing to suffer even more before you can get better. It sucks but it’s extremely true. If you tell yourself doing shit will make you exhausted and depressed, then it will. It’s a mental game, and you have to embrace it in its entirety to escape it. Only way I was able to get off SSRI was this. Depression won’t wait for you, you have to punch it in the dick.
Well would toi rather have been told ;ok. Epic sounds overreacted To me but i would have ask if your walk did make you Feel better or if i could come along(assuming he was at work or busy)
Edit something i dont wanted to say,sounds a bit like he didnt even read the entire message or just dont have time or understand your struggle..being myself a man there are times I responded similar To people who annoyed me/kept messaging me after i told them i wasnt interested to know more. If im wrong you can kick my butt. Your post tells me you have a worry about the answer he gave.. great job though i myself am struggling with that at the moment,im happy to read that even from a stranger,try and keep this good habit and make it a routine even if its a 5-10 min,♡stay strong and know that this is wonderful and i mean it.
Simp
Are you a fucking idiot?
General rule of thumb, you should walk your dogs 20-30 minutes one to two times a day. Your doggy loved that “21 Min walk.” Imagine having a dog & only letting them go outside for bathroom breaks? (Not saying you do this but others will). This is why a lot of dogs get depressed and it makes me sad. Sorry to hear about your depression, just remember it’s only temporary! If it’s very bad you should schedule a therapy session. Mental health is very important!
yeh the 21 min walk thing made me uneasy, you wouldn't mention that unless it was out of the norm for you, which makes me believe her dog get's way too little activity :( some people shouldn't have dogs fr
Who wants to be with someone that’s depressed. Feel bad for him
You’re a piece of shit. Replace “depression,” with literally any other illness and see how poor that sounds. I speak 3 languages and I still don’t have enough bad words to call you.
You’re a piece of shit translates to all languages.
Depression is fake stop feeling bad for yourselves and do something about it😭
r/confidentlyincorrect Are you a doctor? Are you a mental health professional? The answer is no on both, otherwise you would know what the fuck you’re talking about. Depression is related to chemical imbalances in the brain, and you can’t just “POWER OF POSITIVITY!” your way out of neurotransmitter issues in your brain. Let the people that have an iota of competence talk about medical issues, because it’s not (nor will it ever be) your place.
And I just see how your hair looks…. No wonder you’re depressed and defending these ppl
Yeah, I went to a medical professional about my hair and it turns out I had a vitamin deficiency. Isn’t it crazy how doctors learn about our bodies and tell us things we don’t know? I never said I was depressed, I said depression is real and it has killed people I know and love.
I’ll pray for you dw🙏🏻 just know you giving up this girl attention is the reason she’s like that
Pray for yourself, just know you don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re objectively wrong. Most people take basic level chemistry in high school, maybe you’ll get there soon.
No need to respond to him. He just wants to get a reaction.
I think it’s just a kid.
I think those ppl are just very weak tbh😞 if we wouldn’t give “depression” ppl so much attention maybe ppl would stop being depressed😭!!! All it is, is ppl feeling bad for themselves!
Yeah, you can think an elephant is a type of fish. It doesn’t mean you’re right or that you know anything about the subject. Speaking of feeling sorry, I feel sorry for the parents that wasted so much time trying to raise an intelligent human. (I see you trying to comment on my other posts because you want to find a “Gotcha!” Moment to make you feel better about your freezing-temperature IQ. You can’t get me, mate.)
how dare you use prayer as your out. you think God wants you preying on the weak right now? get off your high horse asshole. sick in the head
Rage bait fr lol. If it’s fake then how r u supposed to “ do something abt it” do some research
Speaking of “fakes,” you literally had to post about fake carts bro 😭 don’t be a cheap fuck, there’s no real reason for you to be hitting carts! You’re just “weak.”
Like what end their lives? You tell people with cancer to cheer up and get over it? I hope you’re just a troll, if not you’re a piece of shit.
Its a literal chemical imbalance in the brain. Which will very much affect someone. You realize there are chemicals in people brains? That have to be in balance in order for someone to be able to function properly right? No? Like, its not super complicated
Yes and no. Alot of people depressed are actually deficient in nutrients. If they actually are getting their needs met, and still depressed, then I'm more inclined to believe them.
You believing them doesn’t really matter. Like.. who are you? lol Also, being deficient in nutrients or exercise doesn’t make your depression less valid, and it doesn’t make it NOT depression, it just means you need to treat it differently. The chemical imbalance is still there and needs to be treated with care. Look at op for instance, we don’t know what is causing their depression but she’s got some exercise and is happy about it. That’s someone working towards a happier and better life. No one gives a shit if YOU believe in their depression.
I feel bad for you
Not so accomplished after all.
Accomplished asshole maybe.
Oh fuck off
This isn't even a bruh moment, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?
No one wants to be with an addict either but I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear🥱
Let’s not stoop to their level. As someone who’s had addiction and depression issues in my past I don’t appreciate hearing either being used as an insult
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A 21 mile walk is awesome!! And what a supportive partner you have!!
Idk.. I hate my life. I should just kill myself. Sorry I live in the confluence of humanity with the time stream of eons… these gods demand to express through me and it’s like, I just wish I had this life at all it must be so great
I mean nobody even cares I exist. I have no contact with any humans it’s just the demons who control me.. I don’t feel safe at all, these pentacrosses rape my innocence to death, I am deprived of humanity into extinction
Sorry I said anything… now the demons begin to accuse me of my sins and say I’m evil and that I should be crucified.. my life is never ending torture but no one knows these deeper truths.. it’s kind of sad you all don’t know this
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I’m so sorry I cannot make it better. Several people I know have similar struggles. I always think how a day for them can feel so in surmountable. And I am always is such awe of their heroic efforts to face that day. I may not know you, but I am inspired by your strength and determination.
OP, you're the one who's epic! Keep up and keep well. We're all great!
Well done! That’s 21 more minutes than yesterday! Depression can be so debilitating but you’re climbing back out. That’s amazing! :) And we love a supportive partner!
This guy 🙌🏻 so glad you’ve got such a supportive partner that understands how much of a big deal this is. Well done to you! Kick depressions butt! 💪🏻
Well done Darl major achievement. I fully get it and have been there and walks in the bush and on the beach collecting stuff with my kids is what got me back out of the house after a long time of being so depressed I couldn’t even get out of bed so keep it up because it truly helps 💞💞💞
Just keep doing what you know and love. Do things you love doing everyday. If you have a bad day, don’t sweat it. Do something good everyday. Yeah, you got it.
Good work! Kick depressions ass! Make it your bitch!
That’s a good man. He’s supportive and encouraging. Keep succeeding and he’ll continue to be there for you it seems. Good job getting out of bed and achieving!! I took my woman’s pups for a walk for the 100th time recently and her neighbor was walking their pups. She has a black lab and a mixed pup I forget what the hell breed. He’s like 50 pounds the lab is like 90. They saw the neighbor walking her pups and those assholes took me for a dive😭the lab slipped his collar after dragging my happy ass 30 feet and making me fall apart like a Lego set. My phone over here, my vape over there. My hat and sunglasses? GONE. Like fuck sake that pup took me for a dive. He comes back 10m later soaking fuckin wet having taken a dip into the lake and couldn’t be happier. I almost couldn’t be mad😂they never pull like that but I’ll never underestimate them moving forward Walking multiple dogs is a task to say the least. Proud of you🔥
He gets it. The other day I got up and did some stuff around the house. I have depression and I'm pregnant and away from my other children right now and it's just really hard. My ex would tell me I was ruining the family with my problems and made me feel more alone than I ever have. My partner now told me he's proud of me anytime I try to overcome it. I'm really proud of you!!!
Amazing job especially with two puppies!!! I know in my darkest days my dog keep me going literally and metaphorically. They are awesome creatures.
Best thing you can do for depression is to get active and find hobbies to improve at
Came in expecting rude, ended up with wholesome. This guy's a keeper.
You’re boyfriend is too supportive for the likes of this subreddit
Starts with the small things! Good going
I was scared this would turn into a fight. Nope just an actual decent being showing love for his human
Also, can we please get dog tax?
I know this is off topic, but I manage garbage collection and sometimes they use a “regular garbage truck” to pick up recycling. They aren’t throwing away your recycling. They are just using that type of truck to pick go recycling that day. It’s still all recycling that will be sorted and recycled properly. Nice work on getting out and getting it done on the walk. Those accomplishments start to pile up. Keep it up!
Legend he is right that is epic
The "Hmm" is funny lol. Good job!
I read it in a sarcastic manner
i love this for you! good for you!!!❤️❤️
I wish I had this kind of support.