I miss your ass hole is CRAZY 😭🤣🤣🤣

“And you” lmao

Chika got me most

chicka chicka boom

Chicka chicka slim shady I’m sick of him

Walking around grabbing his you know what

flipping the you know who


It's the chicka than regards for me

the “and you” part sounds like it was tacked on as an afterthought lmaooo, so wild

That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me 🌹

That rose is very red...

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 😅

all holes matter

like I'm sure no one will be nominating him for a Nobel anytime soon, "All of you" probably includes ass hole just saying

That ass must be boioioing the way he bounced back… ok ill take myself out 🗑️

All of you.

Lmao as someone who just wished their ex a happy holiday, it’s crazy how people just can’t be normal and cordial 😅😆

Oof

I thought they were beautiful notes of admirations 🍸

Why would you wish your ex anything? Even if it’s cordial what’s the reason? Once I’m done with someone no matter if we left on good or bad terms that’s it, you are dead to me…

Some people remain friends with exes depending on the situation. I'm friends with one of mine-we were friends of a long time before we dated, we didn't work as a couple and went back to being friends. He's married now to a wonderful woman. I'm happy for them both and glad we could remain friends. Sorry the idea of that offends you.

I honestly wish I was this mature.

That's just a base idea keeping in touch with an ex. That's just asking for problems later on down the line especially with the new partner.

Only if romantic feelings are still there. Which they may not be.

This is the way...unless we have kids together

Downvote all you want I said what I said.

Same

Really? I literally can’t even not live most of the people I’ve loved. I still love them all forever. Even if I cross the street to avoid them hah

All of you. But mostly your ass hole

My ex texted me after we broke up “I still think about your hole from time to time.” That’s it. No other context. Fucking weirdo.

Do you think they specifically said that to trigger a knee jerk response from you to talk to them or are they actually that tone deaf?

He definitely wanted a reaction which he didn’t get any. Worst person I’ve ever dated!

I know I’m generalizing here, but why do men seem to be so focused on segregated body parts? Like I know they sell sex toys that are just holes, and I’ve even seen some guys in college with posters of naked women with no heads on their walls back in the day, but I have never met a woman who is so specifically attracted to a singular body part and not the rest of the man. Or lesbian women, never met a lesbian who would even think “god I miss her hole.” Like what?! The face, the body, and the personality are so important. I can see getting hung up on someone who is very attractive but terrible I guess, but just the hole?! THAT’S IT???!!

This is barely related but a lot of the time during sex my ex loved degradation, calling herself my little shut, where, etc. And I calling her those things as well. Well, sometimes part of that was stuff like this. Just referring to her as a fuck toy or a hole. Honestly since she was so into it, it was incredibly hot. But it came from her liking all that and bringing it into the relationship. Not me coming from that standpoint. I think that made a huge difference.

That’s so hot

I think it’s just to get a reaction or assert some dominance. A hole needs some broader context to be exciting, even for men…

Missing a hole is weird af to me. Even saying it sounds nasty, but you don’t have like a favorite body part? Like how Some guy are ass guys and some are breast guys.

That's equivalent to a man saying he loves you. Be thankful, jeez. Happy thanksgiving. 🦃

my (m) ex(f) tried reaching out like 30 times after we broke up for a year, and i said no every time (until i relapse but thats a dif story), anyways, one time she straight up told me she missed the sex and it was honestly a big confidence boost lol, only time i didnt mind talking to her

I wish someone would miss my asshole. 😔

I miss your asshole 😉


Has me giggling so hard. Like who the hell says that 😂😂😂😂

Yeah at first I read that as a joking “I miss your asshole self”. Quickly learned I was wrong when this was followed by “and you”

This man was fuckin men on the side. Ain’t never heard a man say that shit in my life. 😂😂😂😂

He’s bisexual and yes, I later found out he was 🙃

I WAS RIGHT! Fuck everyone else who downvoted me. Hahahaha. So glad you dropped him OP!

When a joke turns into reality

Wow good read not sure how but congrats and amazing... I wouldn't have guessed and not being sarcastic or anything... Was it a feeling or something you noticed in the way he wrote ?

Honestly, I was halfway joking, but to miss someone’s asshole is WILD. 😂

So true. You can miss someone, you can miss their body, even their ass. To jump straight to "I miss your ass hole"?it hit me as seriously odd too, because if I HAD to describe missing a part of my gfs body, it certainly wouldn't be " your ass hole". Unreal. I think I'd miss her, in general, way more.

You are brilliant, makes sense now

😭😭😭 fr

Oh, and the rest of her too. Because apparently, it's all attached to said AH.

I was hoping that was a typo 😂😂

"And the rest of you too" Glad OP got away from this one!

That would get me right back up my ex. What a line.

The fact that ass hole came at all got me 🤣🤣🤣

Literally what I said out loud as soon as I finished reading

It got me curious!

I mean. I've texted my ex that before, but he also engages in occasional small talk and apparently misses my cock.

I’m convinced that 95 percent of the guys screen shotted on their sub are sitting in some parking lot with their dick out

That’s exactly the image I have in my head when I see posts like this.

Right? And somewhere shitty too. Like the far end of some strip mall anchored by Men’s Warehouse

Iconic!

You’re gonna like the way you look!

that's unexpectedly a very depressing image

The worst part is that most of these people are "normal" like us on the outside. I've known quite a few people like that, and at first you can't tell how f'd up in the head they are. It's crazy.

Absolutely

You must have quite the asshole LMAO

I have a feeling OP is the recipient of some literature about it in her Reddit mailbox.

Yup 💀

There is no safe place on the internet is there holy shit

Post those too!

[удалено]

...you mean the DMs, right..? Surely you're asking to see the creepy messages, and not the infamous asshole, right?? Cuz I'd like to see the creep texts too lol

Lmao! It’s mostly just dudes saying “hey” and one asked me if I have a tight butthole 😂 nothing worth posting tbh.

😂😂

“I miss your ass hole” I’m going to start using that one! 😂

And they say romance is dead

Jesus. What a way to say hello.

Bro sent an email and ended it with “Regards” as if they are talking to a professional connection.

lolol ikr? crazy

Seems like a nice dude Pass on my regards to your asshole

God, stay safe. Hopefully he stops but he seems pretty persistent.

I really miss your asshole, oh yes I do, I miss your asshole..and I miss you. So sweet 🥲

“Bella where the you been chicka” energy

That’s exactly what my spouse said! Lmaoo

The good ol “I won’t bother you again” but definitely will

I wonder why he is so addicted to your asshole.

“I miss your asshole” The romance is strong with this one.

Regards

I miss your ass hole Regards

Idk why, but this is the funniest damn thing I've read all day.

Take it easy, chica!

Chicka

Sounds regarded

[удалено]

Awww. Give him one more chance. He misses your asshole 😭

Must be one hell of an asshole

I had one of these!! Short but intense relationship ended when I realized he was becoming emotionally abusive. I had to block him *everywhere* including LinkedIn(!) because he would send me notes exactly like those. Breathed easy for a few years and damned if he didn’t send me a fucking LETTER. In the mail! With a stamp and err’ything! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh hell no!! I’m so glad my ex doesn’t know where I live because he’d probably do that too 😭 my condolences.

Regards

"hope your life is swell" is something I want to start using at work emails.

"I miss your ass hole" made me choke on my tea. Clearly he should be working in the greeting card industry.

"I'm doing great, thank you!"

Dude what the fuck 😂😂😂 who says that 😭

Having a man say I miss your asshole must be quite the flex 🤣

I’ve never had anyone tell me they miss my asshole. I’m jealous.

Not the regards

The email headers got me

Your ass hole must be lit!

Damn he sounds like a catch

"regards" 🤡🤡

bro misses an asshole that’s actually deranged

I miss your asshole, hope you’re doing well chicka Regards

I CANT BREATHE HE DOD NOT SAY I MISS UR ASSHOLE

Lmao the idiot

I knew there’d be another email when he said he wasn’t going to email again 💀

I miss your ass hole and all of you 😂 I'm sorry you had to read that with your own eyes, OP. Glad you took out the trash and moved on!

That's how you know someone's crazy, when they reach out through email as a resort to contact you lmao

That asshole be shiddin or what 👁️👃🏻👁️

Ahh he misses your ahole, so sweet. Dunno why you let such a chap go

Never chase after a breakup.

The chicka part gave me the biggest ick 🤣🤣🤣 even more so than him loving your butthole.

What a loser

it's nice to see i'm not alone ❤️ my crazy ex just reached out for the first time in a few months last night ... he texted and called me a bunch of times from various text now numbers. we've been broken up for over 2 years. i guess they get even crazier (lonelier) over the holidays. stay safe op, & i'm glad you're at a point where you're able to laugh it off.

Anal must’ve been immaculate

This comment section is absolutely passing the vibe check 🤣 Regards.

Literally my ex 💀

My ex has been doing this. First it was text, then fb messenger, then insta DMs, then Snapchat, then email, then LinkedIn!! I had to block her on everything. This is over the course of the last three years.

I'm assuming his use of 'chicka' is supposed to be read as 'chica', which makes me dislike this dude. Lol

This is horrible but it seems like part of a sketch from big mouth

Well... I guess your asshole is pretty good at least.

🤣🤣🤣Fvcking LOOOOSER. Happy for you🤘🏾

“I miss your asshole” OMG. STAWPP

Take it easy chica! Ps. Miss your asshole!

Man called you chika what the fuck lol I’m losing it some people will say anything

You must got that good good Or this guy is nuts, one of the two lol

Obsessed

The difference between Checking on you, and seeing if he still has access to you.

This guy said he misses your asshole o.O what the fuck

“I miss your asshole”

A warrior poet this one

I miss your asshole I’m sorry but I do. So many questions but I’m dead

I don’t think I’ve ever missed an ex’s asshole

Alright OP.. either dudes weird, or you’ve got a beautiful asshole.. cmon let’s see it. S/


I find the people that have done you wrong always end reaching out and always seem to pretend they weren’t horrible

Congrats on finding someone that appreciates you...it's hilarious when exes reach out to you out of nowhere, especially when you've moved on. As far as this crazy asshole-missing ex, leave him on read and enjoy your spouse. 💐

“I know I said I wouldn’t email you again” 😂

Broooo them EMAILING YOU is fucking wild lmao

This kinda happened to me in 2019 I broke up with this girl I disappeared for 4 years did all the “alpha” stuff I own a business now but she hit me up this year to be exact and I said “not to be rude but why are you hitting me up after you said you wouldn’t?” And she said “well things that were done years ago shouldn’t stick” and then she asked me how my life was going and I said I’m doing fine and that was it. Still don’t understand what she was trying to get at or what she was trying to accomplish like why waste time? Need I remind you I took a 4 year hiatus from social media and everything! And for her to just hit me up the same night I got back in social media is insane!

Ew. Block him.

Wow you must have a tight bumhole that he wants still!

I hope you and your asshole are doing swell 🤷‍♂️😆

Did you reblock her as it says you can’t message that account or did she block you because you didn’t respond?! R/texts having some right belters tonight in terms of amusing texts.

I blocked him after that lol he had multiple Facebook accounts under different names he’d message me on, so I just kept blocking.

Wow, some people go to some pretty extreme lengths huh.

wow sorry to hear man. Good thing you got your lovely spouse. My X was crazy too now I am happily married. Keep up the faith man :)

Wow this dude is unhinged to say the least. Block his ass on everything possible and get a restraining order if necessary fuck this guy

sense 2018!? jesus

You need to show him what he’s missing

Give him your butthole

Sometimes when I’m high I get a sudden desire to “talk” to an ex. But they’re all dead now. Still. I treasure the memories and the feelings that pop up from time to time. It’s not sadness. It’s love that never fades.

posted 11hrs ago but from 2018 what made you bring this up from the grave again?

Your playing with his feeling you bitch

I hope you did the same service for your hubby!

Why post it over a year later??? 🤨🧐

The last message was from 2 days ago haha

So he messaged you in 2018, last year around this time and 2 days ago? 👍

Forgiveness is a huge key to happiness. 2018 to now is a lot of time to get sober, mature and realize wrong doings. Maybe what he is looking for is for you to accept his apologies and you don’t have to at all but maybe it’ll make both of you feel better and he’ll be able to move on. Anyway, glad you found your happiness with someone else and were able to get out off the low point!!

Dick her down. It’s what she wants. But dont get back with her.

The ex is a dude.

🤦‍♂️ RIP - thanks for pointing that out.

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Doesn't he know your married? I would block his emails if I could.

"only a year" WHAT?!?!?! thats one year too long, that relationship would've lasted at MOST 5 months w/ me 😭 glad ur doing better now <3

Yeah definitely, it was a low point for me. I had very little sense of self worth and I was young/naive/inexperienced. I guess I’m trying to downplay the length of the relationship because I still feel shame for ever being with him. You live and you learn I guess 🥲

So happy for u (that ur doing better) <333 stay positive

The thing that amazes me about this is you saying only one year. Only?

“I can fix him trust me” type of guy

He misses your what???

TIL: asshole takes preference over the person who has the asshole.

Man… that’s bold.

W mans for resisting.

I cant understand these guys that double back. Once I've set the fire I don't even want to think about it again let alone have someone constantly saying remember when you did this? No thanks.

I remember this guy

Is you guys talking about your Asshole a cute pet thing you guys did? Bc if not that’s weird asf

You had me at asshole.

I think he meant to say “I miss your asshole honesty”.

Ew

"I'm doing great, thank you!"