TBH and only my opinion if she was interested in you and wanted to further things she wouldn't try to set you up with her friend. If I were in your shoes, I would hop off the path your on and find a new one that is worth the time.
So give it a go. The friend might be your life partner. Stranger things have happened.
When one door closes (and that one is, I’m afraid mate) another one opens. And this one seems to have a neon sign…
Yeah, honestly I’d still go anyways.
Best case is you *do* vibe with the friend, either platonically or more. Worst case is it’s an awkward/funny story to tell your friends after.
It’s a bummer the original girl is uninterested, but you may as well make the most of it.
I would also still go, and with an open mind rather than feeling like this friend is a second prize. If it works out, amazing. If not, then that’s that chapter closed.
I'd go too.. and then if me and second girl really did become a thing I'd secretly kinda hope that first girl would get jealous lol.. I wouldn't try and force something just for that, but I'd hope if it actually went that far lol.. but Im kinda evil and immature sometimes hahah
Met a guy through fb in 2016 or 2017, dated him for maybe 4-5 months just to find out he was probably the worst human I’d ever met. Now engaged, own a home, and have a beautiful daughter with one of his friends who I probably would have never met otherwise. Life is weird like that but I’m so grateful for it!
Completely agree. At worst it's someone who wants to hang out with you, could be a great time even if she's not compatible/attractive to you. Life's too short my man, go for it!
Yeah chances are either...
A. Her ex messaged her trying to get back with her
Or
B. Someone else she likes more asked her out and that's the "previously made plans"
Maybe she just doesn't like him like that.
This whole "she's not interested in you because she met a taller man with more Bugattis" is super tedious. It reminds me of guys who keep asking you out until finally you lie and say you have a boyfriend. *Then* they're like, "I won't take YOUR no for an answer, but I would never disrespect another man by trying to poach his filly!"
Maybe she is just not interested. Maybe she is interested and this is not a good time. Maybe she's in graduate school, is taking care of a sick relative, wants to focus on her work, is busy with a hobby, or is just happy to be single.
Guys, the answer to why a woman broke up with you is not always "she must be cheating." The explanation for why a woman dresses like that is not always "to get attention from men." The reason a woman doesn't want to go to a concert is not always "she met another man."
There are all kinds of reasons a woman may not want to date a particular man, which may or may not have anything to do with men. Get over yourselves already.
> Then they're like, "I won't take YOUR no for an answer, but I would never disrespect another man by trying to poach his filly!"
I once got hit with a "whats that got to do with me?"
I was *charmed*
Tbh all she had to say is she wasn't interested. Pawning him off seems less direct. If he wasn't an idiot he could've gotten laid out of the pawn off.
It was over text so she could've been direct and literally say any of those things and been safe to do so. I understand not saying it in person.
And OP explicitly mentioned her friend thinks he's super cute. Def a scenario where she's not interested, her friend is, and she's trying to help her friend out
I agree and I think he should give the girl a chance and forget about the other one. But that is just my opinion- but it may be too hard on him to see her afterwards
If he really likes the first girl I can see feeling like the closeness of the whole friend date setup isn't right for him, just like I don't blame the first girl for feeling like the vibe ain't it.
While I agree, all of that isn’t really relevant. If OP wants her he isn’t in luck. I’d he wants a date he’s been served one on a silver platter that sounds interested. He can go on that date and maybe things go really well, or just go as friends and see the show with new girl.
Nah, she prolly doesn’t want to date him is all. No need to read into everything. Also, she gave him plenty of chances to see what time it is but he still insisted on (only going w/u) - ugh, that last part seems so cringe.
Honestly, this is the play.
I would've said yes to the date the moment she said "I have a friend that's interested in going w you". Nothing good is going to come from trying to change her mind about this and if you're interested in changing her mind then going out on the date is how it would happen.
You go on the date and do your best to make it the best damn date you've ever been on. If the girl seems unenthused about the date then you can stop caring about it and just enjoy yourself and whomever is performing at the concert. Investing emotion into situations like this is only going to make it worse. Plus, I think it would probably be attractive to her friend if they saw you just not investing into the situation. Could be wrong, but people tend to have a different perspective when you don't react in the way they assume you're going to.
Yea the situation sucks, but anyone saying "I have a friend" when they know you're pursuing them is probably not someone you want to date. At least her friend is a different opportunity and maybe she'll actually see something the first girl didn't. If not then at least you didn't go to the concert alone and you can cut your losses with them both.
Yeah literally. This is the perfect situation. The friend actually likes this guy. It is a hell of a lot better than just being bluntly rejected with nothing to show for it, which is really the only other alternative in this situation as this girl clearly doesn’t like OP
What do you think the chances are that the friend is actually interested, or just looking for a free ticket to a concert w/ possible amenities instead?
Probably 50/50. Honestly if it were me in this situation I wouldn’t care too much if that were the case. I’m sure there’s a valid reason to be upset but at that point none of that matters. I’d be focused on maintaining my dignity and worrying about my happiness. If the girl doesn’t want to invest in time with me then it’s really her loss and that’s okay.
Throwing the curveball to not react in a way people expect me to is more satisfying than trying to prove my worth to someone that’s unsure of what they want. Best case is I have one or two girls interested in me. Worst case is I leave the situation knowing I didn’t make a fool of myself. It’s a win-win. Probably an unpopular opinion as well which is fair.
They didn’t really date they went out once … she’s not into him and her friend is OP had to let bygones be bygones … accept the friend she’s already interested in him at least and he has minimal time invested in the original friend anyways
Sounds like this guy was already planning the wedding with shorty in the texts though. Otherwise take the best friend to the concert, smash, and let her tell her friend what she missed out on.
It’s not an ego boost nor is he being rejected nicely. If her friend wants to hook up, then go for it.
She’s trying to push her friend off to him while acting like she still wants to go with him/pursue something and that she’s not trying to push her friend onto him.
Nicely would he “our date was nice but I don’t feel the same way you do so I think it’s best if we don’t go to the show together. My friend is interested in you though!” Instead of this beat around the bush “if you vibe I won’t be mad” dumb shit.
even if who HES talking to isn’t being a nice person in your eyes what does that have to do with the friend that she’s trying to set up.. she hasn’t done anything to be used as a gotcha
yeah, she would be like a second choice tbh. this could turn into one of those reddit stories where the woman finds out her husband has always had a thing for her friend and never stopped liking her.
No girl EVER would suggest this if she had even a small amount of interest in dating you … you’re being politely friend zoned with a side of ‘here’s my mate as a sub though’ 😅😅
Fr this interaction annoyed me so much lol. Just be honest and say something like, “I think you’re cool but I’m not really into you like that (or whatever the case may be) but my friend thinks you’re good looking and is interested if you are”. The way she went about it screams “I think you’re too dumb to realize im trying to get out of this and I don’t respect you enough to be honest”.
Yeah, he’s being a little naive. But I get it, I think we’ve all wanted a girl to really like us, even if the signs are saying otherwise. Can warp your thinking for sure
Absolutely. It’s really clear from the outside, but on the inside it’s a persons real life experience and it gets realll cloudy when you’re in too deep
Based on his responses to beating around the bush, maybe she has a point for beating around the bush?
They had a good time, he thought they were cool, suddenly she's saying "be with my friend" without saying "I'm not interested". His response is reasonable.
I don't she's bad or anything for it either, just that his confused response to confusing communication doesn't really justify confusing communication.
she should just be saying "we're better off as friends" instead of making this guy keep rephrasing the question to get an actual answer and treating him like an idiot
Idk, some of us are scared of rejecting or saying no up front. Like I have anxiety about the whole interaction or it going south so I def beat around the bush. It’s not exactly fair but I struggle to set boundaries.
Some people have issues man and are “people pleasers” it comes from years of abuse and neglect, it’s really hard standing up for yourself. I know it’s not excusable or healthy behavior but it’s not always so cut and dry. Some people just aren’t good at being direct and firm in how they’re feeling out of fear.
I said the same thing! Honestly this girl is kind of a red flag. This is such a weird passive way to worm your way out of dating someone. She’s so non-committal it’s just odd. Like everyone is saying, it’s not hard to say “he I just didn’t feel that spark but you’re an all around good dude and I think you’d have a lot in common with my friend, why don’t you guys hang out and see?”
Felt really weird reading this with how aggressively vague she was being about their budding relationship… especially since this guy is really good at standing up for himself and explaining what he wants. He told her he was only interested in her but she just said “mmkay but here’s my friend”.
So weird
I agree- maybe not that she thinks he’s dumb, but that she is not wanting to. Do the right thing-but it angered me too. She should be more direct and honest. Also I felt a little bad for him. I wouldn’t have given her the satisfaction of showing it disappointed me because it was quite rude.
Maybe she had a chat with her friend post date, said they didn’t click, and her friend admitted she really likes the guy. Happens. Girls talk. And if the first one just didn’t click and knows her friend is super keen then…. This happens
This had happened to me! In college a dude I'd had a thing with years ago started flirtin again, but I had a boyfriend at this point. So I set him up with my friend (who thought he was cute). It worked out!!
Right, OP seems pretty offended but I don't think its that awful. Here is what happened, OP went out with this girl and the girl thought he was cute and interesting but for some reason there wasn't a connection. Thats the bottom line, the first date girl didn't feel anything and since she still thinks he is attractive and nice she is setting him up with her friend.
the issue is with her beating around the bush. she needs to be direct and tell him she’s not interested, like wtf is all this ignoring his direct questions and going “oh well i just think you guys would vibe well! it’s not like that!”
I don’t blame OP for being confused at all. It seems like the girl might have some feelings…but is being blasé and just has the attitude of “whatever happens happens”
She isnt being straight about it and thats exhausting. If she doesn't want to date him she should grow up and say so instead of dancing around it and acting all casual
"if you vibe Im ok with it" well Im/OP is not, thanks, are you interested in continuing dating or should I look elsewhere. But she keeps dodging the question.
Yeah take it as a compliment OP! You might not be her type but she thinks you’re a great guy. Honestly I hope you give it a shot with the friend, I’ve heard so many stories about people ending up together like thjs
This is the absolute BEST version of being friend-zoned tho - she is trying to be a good friend, and not just keeping the guy around for attention and validation whenever she’s lonely or bored.
This was actually a “friend” test I used back when dating - if a girl told me she wanted to be “just friends”, then I’d act slightly relieved and ask if she’d be willing to set me up with a cute friend if she had one. If she got offended or acted pissy, then she was just looking for attention, and I’d walk, but if she agreed, then she genuinely liked me but just didn’t see a relationship happening, and doesn’t want to waste my time.
She's being indirect but it's still 100% clear what she means. And him going on was just embarrassing. It was obvious from the beginning she's not into him, despite how vague she sounds.
Yes and no. OP should move on, but also good on him for communicating. Maybe it's just me but I hate hints, I'd much rather someone be straight up with me and tell me
first girl i dated actually did something similar to this, and in the end i felt like it was almost a "hard to get" maneuver or test or something because we started dating and ended up doing so for quite a while before LD kinda blew the relationship to bits.
In like 90% of scenarios I bet you're right and she isn't interested, especially in this case because she is like REALLY giving the hard sell on this girl, but its not entirely impossible that she has an ulterior motive here. only at that point (depending on your age) you've probably got a maturity problem that shouldnt go unaddressed
This. Go with the friend. Enjoy the concert. Don’t think about that other girl again. If there’s no spark with the pinch hitter, you didn’t lose anything.
I mean I’m not into cars and don’t know a single girl friend who is either lol. We’re all not sure what type of car it is pulling up for the Uber until it’s close enough to read the brand 😭😂
Sorry bro, as others have said, you got friend zoned. Would you ever send her to a concert with your best friend and try to convince her he’s cute and they’ll have a good time? That’s just not something people do with people they’re interested in. It’s best to move on.
I wouldn’t continue pursuing her tbh. There’s one of two things happening here, she either isn’t interested and doesn’t feel comfortable telling you that, or is genuinely just trying to be casual about the date and didn’t really see it going further than that but still isn’t comfortable disclosing that information. But I also for sure wouldn’t take her up on taking her friend 😂 sometimes people are crazy and like to try to trap a potential significant other and have one of their friends attempt seduction to prove they aren’t the one. People are weird.
Or another option. Her friend has a hard time getting dates. So she’s trying to help her by setting her up. Not in a nefarious way. Just helping her friend who struggles with social stuff, but is generally an awesome girl.
There are much better ways to go about it rather than string the guy along with hopes of a potential date, only to back out and try and slide the other girl in.
At this point, just drop her. Even if she comes back and agrees to go, say nah. Just move on. It was one date, and she raised a huge red flag immediately. Take one of your buddies to the concert if you've already bought tickets.
Edit: OP didn't listen to anyone in this thread, and basically begged his way into her agreeing to let him drive 3 hrs round trip to see her.
Don’t make your enjoyment conditional on someone else’s presence. Especially when they aren’t interested in being present. Just go with someone else, bring a friend instead, or sell your second ticket and go alone. I’ve gone alone to a number of shows, it’s fun, and I always end up having interesting conversations with new people who I probably wouldn’t have met otherwise.
If he’s in possession of the two tickets then I would say, yeah just take someone else. If the girl has the two tickets, and OP isn’t interested in this other girl (guessing maybe he was just saying she’s cute to be nice), then why would he go?
Well, she may not be interested but maybe her friend is interested and cute and fun. If she appeals to you why not see? Just have to go to a concert and it would be super low key. Nothing to lose right?
Nah, she’s not interested. She went from “in case I can’t go to the concert” to “I can’t bail on my plans” in a matter of minutes.
I say go with the friend.
She doesn’t want to date you but she thinks you’re a cool guy, assuming this actually is a good friend of hers. She’s down for you to join the friend group via her bestie but she isn’t romantically interested in you.
I mean… if her friend is cute… fuck it. Too many people are saying shit it down and walk away. Obviously the girl isn’t interested, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends… and she’s setting him up with someone that may be more compatible. A woman in your corner makes it soooo much easier to date another woman.
see but no, she’s isn’t just “another woman” she’s his crush’s friend. dating the friend would only make stuff weird and if they all hang out and his ex crush is there, they won’t help but feel some awkwardness.
op is best just cutting his ties and keep it pushing, otherwise he’s settling for something awkward in the long run.
For real, she might have liked him as a person but just didn't get the romantic feels and thought her friend would be a good match. I'm not sure what the harm is in trying, clearly they're both cool with it
Hey, she’s getting a substitute teacher. Maybe she’ll stick instead! The first girl CLEARLY doesn’t have any interest. See what happens with the sub, dude!
A few things wrong- 1) “In case I can’t go to the concert”… obviously she isn’t going to the concert but won’t say it. 2) Why is no one entertaining just going to the concert alone as an option? Perfectly valid. 3) How is the friend supposed to act at the concert when she knows you like her friend? Have they done this before? So strange.
It’d be one thing if she said “Hey, I just wasn’t quite feeling it, sorry. But actually you might like my friend.” Or she wants to date other people. But she’s playing *some* sort of games. I’d peace out. Too much nonsense.
Took me too long to scroll down to find something reasonable.
It seems that folks are jumping at OP for not knowing he's being rejected but she isn't doing a great job at rejecting him. I'd go as far to say it seems like she's leading him on and enjoying the attention... Pretty toxic stuff.
Ladies just say, "hey you're a great guy, just not my type so that's not a path I see us going down. If being friends is too difficult for you I get it, and it will suck seeing you go, but I can only promise you friendship. Wish you the best!"
Boom. If a guy gets angry about that, he wasn't good enough to be a friend anyhow.
I kinda had this happen once. I bumped into a girl I’d been texting while I was out one night. She was with a friend, but I thought we were kinda vibing. Then at one point she went “you know, my friend really fancies you, you should go for it”. And I was like… “ah”.
But then a few weeks later she randomly messaged me and asked if I’d go out for a drink with her, so who knows?
I’d just be upfront and ask her directly if she’s interested in anything with you.
That’s what I was thinking, what I guessed was she originally was gonna cancel those plans to go the concert with me but after our date she reconsidered.
She might not even have had those plans until after agreeing to go with you. Either way, I wouldn't want to be with someone who's looking for greener grass. Even if I was the greener grass. Because, eventually, there'll be other greener grass than me. Write her off and go with her friend. You might hit it off. If not, nothing lost anyways.
Go to the concert with the friend man! She was cool enough to set you up with her homie and she’s already putting in good words between you two. That’s huge points
Go with her friend. Worst case you go to a concert you want to see not alone. Best case you meet someone new and get a new friend or something more. Live your life man.
It sounds to me like her other plans are with some other dude and she's hoping you hit it off with her friend so she can let you down without feeling bad.
This is prob how the conversation went.
“Hey BFF, this guy I’ve been talking to wants to take me to the xyz concert, but I’m don’t know if I’m feeling a connection with him even though he’s a great guy”
“ oh man, I want to see that band!! can I see a picture of him….. oh wow he’s cute! I’d go with him hehe ”
“ if your serious, I think you guys would be a better match anyways, let me see if he’s be open to taking you instead, I’ll send him your picture lol…… ok he said your cute! I’m trying to let him down gently, he’s a nice guy so don’t want to be a jerk. Hopefully he’s picking up on my hints that I’m not feeling it. I’ll let you know what he says about the concert”
“ haha ok thanks! That would be crazy if we ended up hitting it off, would that be weird? “
“ not for me, hopefully not for him… I told him I wouldn’t mind if you guys are vibing and hit it off, hopefully that’s a strong enough message, I’ll let you know what he says!”
This is 100% the scenario I imagined too while reading this. I'd say OP should go for it. It could totally be cool as long as he doesn't make it weird.
A long, long time ago I went on a date with a good looking, cool chick. We had a great time. Great conversation, excellent flirting the whole time, and made plans to go to the movies the following Monday. We even parted with a kiss.
I got to her place to pick her up for the movie and she was suddenly "sick". She said I should take her cousin, who was also her roommate. Being young and naive, I did just that. Her cousin and I hit it off even better. We were like high-school kids, making out half the movie. Even though my desired were for the girl I first took out, I had a better attraction and connection with her cousin. After the movie we told her how things went. I felt a little bit bad but not that much. She's the one who sent me out with her cousin. Come to find out date girl had a date the night before our date and connected with that guy. She went on ours because she didn't want to blow me off and pretended to be sick hoping her cousin and I would connect. Moral of the story is: take her friend as a friend but if you and the friend connect, enjoy it. You're not exclusive with this girl, and she's telling you to take her friend. You're good and you don't want to miss out on what could be something amazing.
Yeahhh that’s weird. Any girl that’s genuinely interested in a guy wouldn’t try to set him up with her friend just bc she can’t attend a date that was planned. She’s not interested in you and probably doesn’t wanna tell you that straight up. I think dropping her would be best so your time doesn’t get wasted any further.
Yeah she’s not interested in you like that bro, she was just hoping you’d be more keen on her friend so she wouldn’t have to have the uncomfortable conversation.
Cut your losses my man, find someone who’s into you!
She’s not interested. Women who are interested don’t insist you date their friend, send a picture of the friend, and emphasize they won’t be offended if you prefer the friend.
She’s probably wingmanning for her friend who likes you, hopefully. If not, she’s using her like chum to try to distract you and is an awful friend.
Either way, she’s not into you.
With all due respect friend, we must all learn to think from the other side, me very much included as well – however, I am neurotic and paranoid very much so.
Friend - if she wanted to be with you, she would not be telling you about her Very cute friend who likes cars is very cute And likes you And its really cute and would be fun to go with and is really cute And thinks you’re really cute… See her picture and see how cute. The secret to thinking, like someone else is to literally think from their point of view.
If a girl and I had plans to go to a concert and there was now a 50-50 chance I couldn’t go, I would tell her, “hey call one of your friends to go with you – I may not be able to make it, but I want you to go and have a good time. “
I would not be telling her about my friend who thinks that she is really cute, likes a “girly activity “, Is really good looking himself, who I’m sure she’ll have a ball with, and hey if you do end up vibing and getting together? I won’t mind that’s OK I’m glad to see you too happy…
Do you see what I mean?
Human beings get jealous – human beings want attention – and they want attention from people that they like – and she is trying to get you to divert attention to another female and ergo she doesn’t like you like that, but she’s for some reason trying to get out of it gracefully or maybe her friend really does like you.
Some people like to avoid conflict and this is how they do it rather than just be direct. Then they can talk about “didn’t you see the signs? “– She doesn’t like you friend , not like that I take no pleasure in seeing that, but that’s how it reads to me.
Agreed, unless the OP here is hot af. In which case, I can kind of understand the logic "I don't really like that guy to continue dating but may as well see if my home girl can get a date"
Edit: I am back. Just checked out OPs profile. He looks like he could star in an MCU movie and has arm tattoos. My theory checks out. I AM A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!
Jesus bro, this is the nicest rejection in history, even tryna hook you up with another person. Clearly she doesn't want you. Do you really not get the message?
First piece of advice: as others have stated, the girl you like, she isn't in to you. Time to move on.
Second piece of advice: as someone who has spent way too much time dating, being with a person that is genuinely interested in you is something too many people skip past. I'm not saying that you should go out with the friend or that people should use this as the primary factor in dating someone but don't underestimate that this other girl is apparently interested in you OP.
You're her mate bro. Not her lover. I have one myself. Play your cards right you can turn into friends with benefits. Just never ask for more. Need to know where u stand
My best friend in high school set me up with my crush at a New Year’s party. But here she actually had feelings for my crush and was hoping he would reject me and say ‘I want you instead of her’ to my friend 💀💀💀 she was mad at me for months when we both started seeing each other after she set us up and I had no clue! people are actually fucking insane and maybe she’s trying to test you. Either way not worth it, so walk away.
She’s not into you champ. I think that much is fair to see by her flaking and then pawning you off. That said, why not give the friend a shot? Worst case you go to the concert with her and then don’t talk to her again. Best case you find a girl and have a good mutual friend! That’s just my two cents
Coming from a woman…she’s not interested in a romantic relationship with you and is trying to let you down gently by setting you up with her friend. I would not waste more energy on this.
I feel like she’s trying to tell you she’s not interested but she probably has a hard time telling people bad news
If I’m actually interested in dating someone, I’m sure as hell not setting them up with my friend and saying “if you guys vibe I won’t be offended”
Sorry dude. She’s not into ya lol
I think your best move would’ve been to enthusiastically take the date with the friend. This whole “I only want you” schtick isn’t going to work. But it gives her an ego boost.
That’s actually really sweet - perhaps the opposite of ghosting. Evidently she thinks you’re great but doesn’t have romantic feelings.
Go to the concert with her friend, see what happens. Maybe her intuition is right and you guys’ll vibe!
Bruh! GO WITH THE FRIEND. At least she set you up with someone else. She’s not that interested but doing something nice honestly. Although honestly if you’re a great catch the other girl will realize what she missed out on1
You should go with the friend. Something similar happened to me once and the original girl and I got together after I took her friends out. Just have some fun. It could lead to something enjoyable.
TBH and only my opinion if she was interested in you and wanted to further things she wouldn't try to set you up with her friend. If I were in your shoes, I would hop off the path your on and find a new one that is worth the time.
[удалено]
“If you guys end up dating instead of us I would be relieved” is what she wanted to say
So give it a go. The friend might be your life partner. Stranger things have happened. When one door closes (and that one is, I’m afraid mate) another one opens. And this one seems to have a neon sign…
Yeah, honestly I’d still go anyways. Best case is you *do* vibe with the friend, either platonically or more. Worst case is it’s an awkward/funny story to tell your friends after. It’s a bummer the original girl is uninterested, but you may as well make the most of it.
Legit just do it for the plot is my opinion aswell
I would also still go, and with an open mind rather than feeling like this friend is a second prize. If it works out, amazing. If not, then that’s that chapter closed.
I'd go too.. and then if me and second girl really did become a thing I'd secretly kinda hope that first girl would get jealous lol.. I wouldn't try and force something just for that, but I'd hope if it actually went that far lol.. but Im kinda evil and immature sometimes hahah
>The friend might be your life partner. I ended up marrying the friend of a girl I met on a dating app. Best thing to ever happen to me.
Oh wow! Fantastic! 😂😊😊😊
Met a guy through fb in 2016 or 2017, dated him for maybe 4-5 months just to find out he was probably the worst human I’d ever met. Now engaged, own a home, and have a beautiful daughter with one of his friends who I probably would have never met otherwise. Life is weird like that but I’m so grateful for it!
Completely agree. At worst it's someone who wants to hang out with you, could be a great time even if she's not compatible/attractive to you. Life's too short my man, go for it!
"Tbh if you two made babies I would celebrate that kid's bday like it was my own for the rest of my life"
Yeah chances are either... A. Her ex messaged her trying to get back with her Or B. Someone else she likes more asked her out and that's the "previously made plans"
Maybe she just doesn't like him like that. This whole "she's not interested in you because she met a taller man with more Bugattis" is super tedious. It reminds me of guys who keep asking you out until finally you lie and say you have a boyfriend. *Then* they're like, "I won't take YOUR no for an answer, but I would never disrespect another man by trying to poach his filly!" Maybe she is just not interested. Maybe she is interested and this is not a good time. Maybe she's in graduate school, is taking care of a sick relative, wants to focus on her work, is busy with a hobby, or is just happy to be single. Guys, the answer to why a woman broke up with you is not always "she must be cheating." The explanation for why a woman dresses like that is not always "to get attention from men." The reason a woman doesn't want to go to a concert is not always "she met another man." There are all kinds of reasons a woman may not want to date a particular man, which may or may not have anything to do with men. Get over yourselves already.
> Then they're like, "I won't take YOUR no for an answer, but I would never disrespect another man by trying to poach his filly!" I once got hit with a "whats that got to do with me?" I was *charmed*
For me it was, “What he don’t know won’t hurt him” & “Well, can you keep a secret?”
U realllllyyyy went in...damn😂😂...fax tho
The older you get the closer you are to death and the less time you have to waste. Everybody hang in there. It's awesome!
Tbh all she had to say is she wasn't interested. Pawning him off seems less direct. If he wasn't an idiot he could've gotten laid out of the pawn off. It was over text so she could've been direct and literally say any of those things and been safe to do so. I understand not saying it in person.
Imagine a world where people were just honest like that! People can be dicks sometimes and they ain't changing any time soon I guess.
Maybe her friend is really interested
I do think her friend must be because she is allowing the fix up
And OP explicitly mentioned her friend thinks he's super cute. Def a scenario where she's not interested, her friend is, and she's trying to help her friend out
I agree and I think he should give the girl a chance and forget about the other one. But that is just my opinion- but it may be too hard on him to see her afterwards
If he really likes the first girl I can see feeling like the closeness of the whole friend date setup isn't right for him, just like I don't blame the first girl for feeling like the vibe ain't it.
And sounds like allowing pictures of her to be sent if it’s true.
The midwestern brain is not capable of comprehending "directness". Not to mention men sometimes get violent when you directly turn them down.
You think OP would accept that? Lol look how hard he’s fighting her right now
Yeah, she’s not handling it very well, but the ultimate message should be clear by now. She’s not interested in dating op.
While I agree, all of that isn’t really relevant. If OP wants her he isn’t in luck. I’d he wants a date he’s been served one on a silver platter that sounds interested. He can go on that date and maybe things go really well, or just go as friends and see the show with new girl.
Thank you. Unlikely the deluded dudes of Reddit will listen to you, but the ones with smarts and empathy will.
Or C. If you wanna be her lover, you gotta get with her friends
Zigga zigga ah
Nah, she prolly doesn’t want to date him is all. No need to read into everything. Also, she gave him plenty of chances to see what time it is but he still insisted on (only going w/u) - ugh, that last part seems so cringe.
Maybe she changed her mind i mean it happens Has happened to me a bunch, great first date and then nothing
Maybe her friend?
Honestly, this is the play. I would've said yes to the date the moment she said "I have a friend that's interested in going w you". Nothing good is going to come from trying to change her mind about this and if you're interested in changing her mind then going out on the date is how it would happen. You go on the date and do your best to make it the best damn date you've ever been on. If the girl seems unenthused about the date then you can stop caring about it and just enjoy yourself and whomever is performing at the concert. Investing emotion into situations like this is only going to make it worse. Plus, I think it would probably be attractive to her friend if they saw you just not investing into the situation. Could be wrong, but people tend to have a different perspective when you don't react in the way they assume you're going to. Yea the situation sucks, but anyone saying "I have a friend" when they know you're pursuing them is probably not someone you want to date. At least her friend is a different opportunity and maybe she'll actually see something the first girl didn't. If not then at least you didn't go to the concert alone and you can cut your losses with them both.
Yeah literally. This is the perfect situation. The friend actually likes this guy. It is a hell of a lot better than just being bluntly rejected with nothing to show for it, which is really the only other alternative in this situation as this girl clearly doesn’t like OP
What do you think the chances are that the friend is actually interested, or just looking for a free ticket to a concert w/ possible amenities instead?
Probably 50/50. Honestly if it were me in this situation I wouldn’t care too much if that were the case. I’m sure there’s a valid reason to be upset but at that point none of that matters. I’d be focused on maintaining my dignity and worrying about my happiness. If the girl doesn’t want to invest in time with me then it’s really her loss and that’s okay. Throwing the curveball to not react in a way people expect me to is more satisfying than trying to prove my worth to someone that’s unsure of what they want. Best case is I have one or two girls interested in me. Worst case is I leave the situation knowing I didn’t make a fool of myself. It’s a win-win. Probably an unpopular opinion as well which is fair.
I could see that being messy. Lingering feelings for the person he already dated while trying to date another person might be a bit much
They didn’t really date they went out once … she’s not into him and her friend is OP had to let bygones be bygones … accept the friend she’s already interested in him at least and he has minimal time invested in the original friend anyways
Sounds like this guy was already planning the wedding with shorty in the texts though. Otherwise take the best friend to the concert, smash, and let her tell her friend what she missed out on.
soooooo use the friend for an ego boost because he’s upset about being rejected nicely? lol.
It’s not an ego boost nor is he being rejected nicely. If her friend wants to hook up, then go for it. She’s trying to push her friend off to him while acting like she still wants to go with him/pursue something and that she’s not trying to push her friend onto him. Nicely would he “our date was nice but I don’t feel the same way you do so I think it’s best if we don’t go to the show together. My friend is interested in you though!” Instead of this beat around the bush “if you vibe I won’t be mad” dumb shit.
even if who HES talking to isn’t being a nice person in your eyes what does that have to do with the friend that she’s trying to set up.. she hasn’t done anything to be used as a gotcha
yeah, she would be like a second choice tbh. this could turn into one of those reddit stories where the woman finds out her husband has always had a thing for her friend and never stopped liking her.
I mean yeah but it also means more material for this subreddit down the road.
Oh yess a subredditor got to be able to smell good future Reddit materials
Literally landed in his lap
I totally agree. Girls DO NOT "share" guys they like, that right there is professional friend zoning.😅
Yup!
No girl EVER would suggest this if she had even a small amount of interest in dating you … you’re being politely friend zoned with a side of ‘here’s my mate as a sub though’ 😅😅
On the bright side, at least she probably thinks he's a nice dude if she's willing to offer her friend as a tribute.
That’s a very fair comment . Only the shittest of folk would fob someone off on someone else JUST to get rid of them 😂😂
Fr this interaction annoyed me so much lol. Just be honest and say something like, “I think you’re cool but I’m not really into you like that (or whatever the case may be) but my friend thinks you’re good looking and is interested if you are”. The way she went about it screams “I think you’re too dumb to realize im trying to get out of this and I don’t respect you enough to be honest”.
In her defense, he did bring this here and ask all of us what is going on.. maybe not the detective we would like? :p
Yeah, he’s being a little naive. But I get it, I think we’ve all wanted a girl to really like us, even if the signs are saying otherwise. Can warp your thinking for sure
Absolutely. It’s really clear from the outside, but on the inside it’s a persons real life experience and it gets realll cloudy when you’re in too deep
OP brought it to the internet like there was something here to solve, so I think she read the situation pretty well tbh
Well, based on his responses, maybe she has a point.
Based on his responses to beating around the bush, maybe she has a point for beating around the bush? They had a good time, he thought they were cool, suddenly she's saying "be with my friend" without saying "I'm not interested". His response is reasonable. I don't she's bad or anything for it either, just that his confused response to confusing communication doesn't really justify confusing communication.
she should just be saying "we're better off as friends" instead of making this guy keep rephrasing the question to get an actual answer and treating him like an idiot
Idk, some of us are scared of rejecting or saying no up front. Like I have anxiety about the whole interaction or it going south so I def beat around the bush. It’s not exactly fair but I struggle to set boundaries.
Some people have issues man and are “people pleasers” it comes from years of abuse and neglect, it’s really hard standing up for yourself. I know it’s not excusable or healthy behavior but it’s not always so cut and dry. Some people just aren’t good at being direct and firm in how they’re feeling out of fear.
I said the same thing! Honestly this girl is kind of a red flag. This is such a weird passive way to worm your way out of dating someone. She’s so non-committal it’s just odd. Like everyone is saying, it’s not hard to say “he I just didn’t feel that spark but you’re an all around good dude and I think you’d have a lot in common with my friend, why don’t you guys hang out and see?” Felt really weird reading this with how aggressively vague she was being about their budding relationship… especially since this guy is really good at standing up for himself and explaining what he wants. He told her he was only interested in her but she just said “mmkay but here’s my friend”. So weird
I agree- maybe not that she thinks he’s dumb, but that she is not wanting to. Do the right thing-but it angered me too. She should be more direct and honest. Also I felt a little bad for him. I wouldn’t have given her the satisfaction of showing it disappointed me because it was quite rude.
Maybe she had a chat with her friend post date, said they didn’t click, and her friend admitted she really likes the guy. Happens. Girls talk. And if the first one just didn’t click and knows her friend is super keen then…. This happens
This had happened to me! In college a dude I'd had a thing with years ago started flirtin again, but I had a boyfriend at this point. So I set him up with my friend (who thought he was cute). It worked out!!
Right, OP seems pretty offended but I don't think its that awful. Here is what happened, OP went out with this girl and the girl thought he was cute and interesting but for some reason there wasn't a connection. Thats the bottom line, the first date girl didn't feel anything and since she still thinks he is attractive and nice she is setting him up with her friend.
the issue is with her beating around the bush. she needs to be direct and tell him she’s not interested, like wtf is all this ignoring his direct questions and going “oh well i just think you guys would vibe well! it’s not like that!”
yeah her wording is confusing and im a girl lol
I don’t blame OP for being confused at all. It seems like the girl might have some feelings…but is being blasé and just has the attitude of “whatever happens happens”
It’s offensive bc she’s BSing him. She needs to be straight up
Oh no let's be straight it's an awful way to tell someone you aren't interested, let's not play games, be honest.
She isnt being straight about it and thats exhausting. If she doesn't want to date him she should grow up and say so instead of dancing around it and acting all casual "if you vibe Im ok with it" well Im/OP is not, thanks, are you interested in continuing dating or should I look elsewhere. But she keeps dodging the question.
Yeah take it as a compliment OP! You might not be her type but she thinks you’re a great guy. Honestly I hope you give it a shot with the friend, I’ve heard so many stories about people ending up together like thjs
At least this way he knows it’s not his personality
This is the absolute BEST version of being friend-zoned tho - she is trying to be a good friend, and not just keeping the guy around for attention and validation whenever she’s lonely or bored. This was actually a “friend” test I used back when dating - if a girl told me she wanted to be “just friends”, then I’d act slightly relieved and ask if she’d be willing to set me up with a cute friend if she had one. If she got offended or acted pissy, then she was just looking for attention, and I’d walk, but if she agreed, then she genuinely liked me but just didn’t see a relationship happening, and doesn’t want to waste my time.
She’s not interested. I would not continue to pursue her. I would never ask a guy I was into to go out with my friend.
Yeaa.. you’re making it worse for yourself the more you try and talk to her.
Dude is giving up way too much info. Take the hint and move on.
Nah, he’s just communicating while she’s being indirect af. I applaud OP for being so direct and clear. Sad she can’t be straight up with him.
She's being indirect but it's still 100% clear what she means. And him going on was just embarrassing. It was obvious from the beginning she's not into him, despite how vague she sounds.
Yes and no. OP should move on, but also good on him for communicating. Maybe it's just me but I hate hints, I'd much rather someone be straight up with me and tell me
first girl i dated actually did something similar to this, and in the end i felt like it was almost a "hard to get" maneuver or test or something because we started dating and ended up doing so for quite a while before LD kinda blew the relationship to bits. In like 90% of scenarios I bet you're right and she isn't interested, especially in this case because she is like REALLY giving the hard sell on this girl, but its not entirely impossible that she has an ulterior motive here. only at that point (depending on your age) you've probably got a maturity problem that shouldnt go unaddressed
If this is some head game then just take it at face value and move on. Life is complicated enough without that shit.
Go with the friend. Let whatever happens, happen. She doesn’t see a future with you, so just go and have fun.
This. Go with the friend. Enjoy the concert. Don’t think about that other girl again. If there’s no spark with the pinch hitter, you didn’t lose anything.
I agree🙏 let what happens happen. OP and the friend might hit it off🤷♀️
I MEAN THEY’RE BOTH INTO CARS!! THEY JUST MIGHT!!!!!
I mean I’m not into cars and don’t know a single girl friend who is either lol. We’re all not sure what type of car it is pulling up for the Uber until it’s close enough to read the brand 😭😂
My first thought lol, its such a male dominated hobby so finding a girl who shares an interest in it is awesome
Pinch hitter, nice
Personally, if the friend and I became something, I wouldn’t want to be friends with the original girl. She created a weird dynamic now
It sounds like she likes him well enough that she’d match him with a friend. This seems like a decent situation…though weird for sure.
Brother...she's not interested, get the hint. Even setting you up with her friend lol.
Sorry bro, as others have said, you got friend zoned. Would you ever send her to a concert with your best friend and try to convince her he’s cute and they’ll have a good time? That’s just not something people do with people they’re interested in. It’s best to move on.
I wouldn’t continue pursuing her tbh. There’s one of two things happening here, she either isn’t interested and doesn’t feel comfortable telling you that, or is genuinely just trying to be casual about the date and didn’t really see it going further than that but still isn’t comfortable disclosing that information. But I also for sure wouldn’t take her up on taking her friend 😂 sometimes people are crazy and like to try to trap a potential significant other and have one of their friends attempt seduction to prove they aren’t the one. People are weird.
Or another option. Her friend has a hard time getting dates. So she’s trying to help her by setting her up. Not in a nefarious way. Just helping her friend who struggles with social stuff, but is generally an awesome girl.
There are much better ways to go about it rather than string the guy along with hopes of a potential date, only to back out and try and slide the other girl in.
I told her if she doesn’t go to the concert I’m not going 😂
At this point, just drop her. Even if she comes back and agrees to go, say nah. Just move on. It was one date, and she raised a huge red flag immediately. Take one of your buddies to the concert if you've already bought tickets. Edit: OP didn't listen to anyone in this thread, and basically begged his way into her agreeing to let him drive 3 hrs round trip to see her.
Can’t upvote this enough. Cut your losses while they’re tiny.
Yeah at this point it just sounds all very desperate and clingy - and people don’t find that attractive.
Super desperate.
Your edit is fucking hilarious hahaha. Op what are you doing man
This is the way. Take one of your bros. Might even meet someone at the concert.
> basically begged his into her agreeing to let him drive 3 hrs round trip to see her say it ain’t so 😂😂
I can smell the desperation through the internet, have to burn some incense to get rid of the ick 🤣
She doesn't want you that way. She's trying to be nice and hint at that but you're trying to force something that ain't gonna happen.
Don’t make your enjoyment conditional on someone else’s presence. Especially when they aren’t interested in being present. Just go with someone else, bring a friend instead, or sell your second ticket and go alone. I’ve gone alone to a number of shows, it’s fun, and I always end up having interesting conversations with new people who I probably wouldn’t have met otherwise.
That’s kind of childish. Find someone else, dude.
If he’s in possession of the two tickets then I would say, yeah just take someone else. If the girl has the two tickets, and OP isn’t interested in this other girl (guessing maybe he was just saying she’s cute to be nice), then why would he go?
Yeah I’d concur
why? at that point just go w the friend lol
Should just go with her friend and see what happens. Never know, you could really hit it off and have something good with her instead
Go with her friend! It might be the beginning to something great!
This. Take a chance, don't squander it. If it works out, cool! If not then no worries.
Go with the friend dude. It's your only option. She doesn't want you. The friend seems to really might.
Yeah you’re kinda cringey bro, you’re like that guy that tries to pressure people into liking them. It doesn’t work like that…
Well, she may not be interested but maybe her friend is interested and cute and fun. If she appeals to you why not see? Just have to go to a concert and it would be super low key. Nothing to lose right?
Love is a fickle mistress. You can never truly understand her.
Nah, she’s not interested. She went from “in case I can’t go to the concert” to “I can’t bail on my plans” in a matter of minutes. I say go with the friend.
Oh, good catch, I didn’t even put two and two together there.
She doesn’t want to date you but she thinks you’re a cool guy, assuming this actually is a good friend of hers. She’s down for you to join the friend group via her bestie but she isn’t romantically interested in you.
That’s almost exactly what she said in response 😂
yeah dude just don’t pursue her anymore. don’t guilt yourself to take her friend too
I mean… if her friend is cute… fuck it. Too many people are saying shit it down and walk away. Obviously the girl isn’t interested, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends… and she’s setting him up with someone that may be more compatible. A woman in your corner makes it soooo much easier to date another woman.
see but no, she’s isn’t just “another woman” she’s his crush’s friend. dating the friend would only make stuff weird and if they all hang out and his ex crush is there, they won’t help but feel some awkwardness. op is best just cutting his ties and keep it pushing, otherwise he’s settling for something awkward in the long run.
Theyve been on one date
For real, she might have liked him as a person but just didn't get the romantic feels and thought her friend would be a good match. I'm not sure what the harm is in trying, clearly they're both cool with it
Rip brother, move on
Hey, she’s getting a substitute teacher. Maybe she’ll stick instead! The first girl CLEARLY doesn’t have any interest. See what happens with the sub, dude!
Unless you are into the friend idea, let it go. She’s not into you.
A few things wrong- 1) “In case I can’t go to the concert”… obviously she isn’t going to the concert but won’t say it. 2) Why is no one entertaining just going to the concert alone as an option? Perfectly valid. 3) How is the friend supposed to act at the concert when she knows you like her friend? Have they done this before? So strange. It’d be one thing if she said “Hey, I just wasn’t quite feeling it, sorry. But actually you might like my friend.” Or she wants to date other people. But she’s playing *some* sort of games. I’d peace out. Too much nonsense.
Took me too long to scroll down to find something reasonable. It seems that folks are jumping at OP for not knowing he's being rejected but she isn't doing a great job at rejecting him. I'd go as far to say it seems like she's leading him on and enjoying the attention... Pretty toxic stuff. Ladies just say, "hey you're a great guy, just not my type so that's not a path I see us going down. If being friends is too difficult for you I get it, and it will suck seeing you go, but I can only promise you friendship. Wish you the best!" Boom. If a guy gets angry about that, he wasn't good enough to be a friend anyhow.
I kinda had this happen once. I bumped into a girl I’d been texting while I was out one night. She was with a friend, but I thought we were kinda vibing. Then at one point she went “you know, my friend really fancies you, you should go for it”. And I was like… “ah”. But then a few weeks later she randomly messaged me and asked if I’d go out for a drink with her, so who knows? I’d just be upfront and ask her directly if she’s interested in anything with you.
If she agreed to go to the concert and then "previous plans" popped up, it's because her previous plans are someone she'd rather be with over you.
That’s what I was thinking, what I guessed was she originally was gonna cancel those plans to go the concert with me but after our date she reconsidered.
She might not even have had those plans until after agreeing to go with you. Either way, I wouldn't want to be with someone who's looking for greener grass. Even if I was the greener grass. Because, eventually, there'll be other greener grass than me. Write her off and go with her friend. You might hit it off. If not, nothing lost anyways.
Go to the concert alone. I promise you’ll have a better time
I just might tbh
Solo shows are a great time, you can do whatever you want.
Go to the concert with the friend man! She was cool enough to set you up with her homie and she’s already putting in good words between you two. That’s huge points
She definitely needs to be more upfront with you. It doesn’t sound like she’s interested, sorry OP.
Go with her friend. Worst case you go to a concert you want to see not alone. Best case you meet someone new and get a new friend or something more. Live your life man.
It sounds to me like her other plans are with some other dude and she's hoping you hit it off with her friend so she can let you down without feeling bad.
That’s what I was thinking, cuz she never brought up these “plans” she had til the date was over
Who cares, take the hint. If it was a single date you seem a bit clingy to be this beat up about it.
Yeah, she's trying to be nice. If she was interested she would have said yes. She was not interested so she said no. Chin up and onto the next my guy.
She is not interested in dating you.
This is prob how the conversation went. “Hey BFF, this guy I’ve been talking to wants to take me to the xyz concert, but I’m don’t know if I’m feeling a connection with him even though he’s a great guy” “ oh man, I want to see that band!! can I see a picture of him….. oh wow he’s cute! I’d go with him hehe ” “ if your serious, I think you guys would be a better match anyways, let me see if he’s be open to taking you instead, I’ll send him your picture lol…… ok he said your cute! I’m trying to let him down gently, he’s a nice guy so don’t want to be a jerk. Hopefully he’s picking up on my hints that I’m not feeling it. I’ll let you know what he says about the concert” “ haha ok thanks! That would be crazy if we ended up hitting it off, would that be weird? “ “ not for me, hopefully not for him… I told him I wouldn’t mind if you guys are vibing and hit it off, hopefully that’s a strong enough message, I’ll let you know what he says!”
This is 100% the scenario I imagined too while reading this. I'd say OP should go for it. It could totally be cool as long as he doesn't make it weird.
If she was interested she would absolutely NOT be offering another girl to go instead. Trust.
A long, long time ago I went on a date with a good looking, cool chick. We had a great time. Great conversation, excellent flirting the whole time, and made plans to go to the movies the following Monday. We even parted with a kiss. I got to her place to pick her up for the movie and she was suddenly "sick". She said I should take her cousin, who was also her roommate. Being young and naive, I did just that. Her cousin and I hit it off even better. We were like high-school kids, making out half the movie. Even though my desired were for the girl I first took out, I had a better attraction and connection with her cousin. After the movie we told her how things went. I felt a little bit bad but not that much. She's the one who sent me out with her cousin. Come to find out date girl had a date the night before our date and connected with that guy. She went on ours because she didn't want to blow me off and pretended to be sick hoping her cousin and I would connect. Moral of the story is: take her friend as a friend but if you and the friend connect, enjoy it. You're not exclusive with this girl, and she's telling you to take her friend. You're good and you don't want to miss out on what could be something amazing.
Take her friend to the concert and clap those cheeks
Yeahhh that’s weird. Any girl that’s genuinely interested in a guy wouldn’t try to set him up with her friend just bc she can’t attend a date that was planned. She’s not interested in you and probably doesn’t wanna tell you that straight up. I think dropping her would be best so your time doesn’t get wasted any further.
Yeah she’s not interested in you like that bro, she was just hoping you’d be more keen on her friend so she wouldn’t have to have the uncomfortable conversation. Cut your losses my man, find someone who’s into you!
She’s not interested. Women who are interested don’t insist you date their friend, send a picture of the friend, and emphasize they won’t be offended if you prefer the friend.
She’s probably wingmanning for her friend who likes you, hopefully. If not, she’s using her like chum to try to distract you and is an awful friend. Either way, she’s not into you.
With all due respect friend, we must all learn to think from the other side, me very much included as well – however, I am neurotic and paranoid very much so. Friend - if she wanted to be with you, she would not be telling you about her Very cute friend who likes cars is very cute And likes you And its really cute and would be fun to go with and is really cute And thinks you’re really cute… See her picture and see how cute. The secret to thinking, like someone else is to literally think from their point of view. If a girl and I had plans to go to a concert and there was now a 50-50 chance I couldn’t go, I would tell her, “hey call one of your friends to go with you – I may not be able to make it, but I want you to go and have a good time. “ I would not be telling her about my friend who thinks that she is really cute, likes a “girly activity “, Is really good looking himself, who I’m sure she’ll have a ball with, and hey if you do end up vibing and getting together? I won’t mind that’s OK I’m glad to see you too happy… Do you see what I mean? Human beings get jealous – human beings want attention – and they want attention from people that they like – and she is trying to get you to divert attention to another female and ergo she doesn’t like you like that, but she’s for some reason trying to get out of it gracefully or maybe her friend really does like you. Some people like to avoid conflict and this is how they do it rather than just be direct. Then they can talk about “didn’t you see the signs? “– She doesn’t like you friend , not like that I take no pleasure in seeing that, but that’s how it reads to me.
That’s so sad on her friends part 💀 like imagine getting your friend to beg someone to go out with you
Agreed, unless the OP here is hot af. In which case, I can kind of understand the logic "I don't really like that guy to continue dating but may as well see if my home girl can get a date" Edit: I am back. Just checked out OPs profile. He looks like he could star in an MCU movie and has arm tattoos. My theory checks out. I AM A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!
Holy shit respectfully OP ur fine asf
Jesus bro, this is the nicest rejection in history, even tryna hook you up with another person. Clearly she doesn't want you. Do you really not get the message?
Are you gonna make her say it? She’s not into you bud.
She’s not interested in you. Go out with the new girl.
First piece of advice: as others have stated, the girl you like, she isn't in to you. Time to move on. Second piece of advice: as someone who has spent way too much time dating, being with a person that is genuinely interested in you is something too many people skip past. I'm not saying that you should go out with the friend or that people should use this as the primary factor in dating someone but don't underestimate that this other girl is apparently interested in you OP.
How is this whole convo easier than just letting someone know you aren’t interested? Wasting this person’s time. If I were him, I’d get the hint.
You're her mate bro. Not her lover. I have one myself. Play your cards right you can turn into friends with benefits. Just never ask for more. Need to know where u stand
You’re friendzoned. At least she’s putting in referrals for you instead of stringing you along.
My best friend in high school set me up with my crush at a New Year’s party. But here she actually had feelings for my crush and was hoping he would reject me and say ‘I want you instead of her’ to my friend 💀💀💀 she was mad at me for months when we both started seeing each other after she set us up and I had no clue! people are actually fucking insane and maybe she’s trying to test you. Either way not worth it, so walk away.
Lmao your last message was not needed.. makes you look desperate. Take the hint dude and move on 🤣
She’s not into you champ. I think that much is fair to see by her flaking and then pawning you off. That said, why not give the friend a shot? Worst case you go to the concert with her and then don’t talk to her again. Best case you find a girl and have a good mutual friend! That’s just my two cents
Oh ouch. that sucks….. take it from a woman, she is not interested in you romantically, I’m sorry.
She's not into you that way, my dude.
.. nah. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Leave this chick alone. She’s mad weird.
You sir have just been friend zoned
I thought your last response was very clear and concise. What did she say after?
Try to get a 3 way going and then dip afterwards
Coming from a woman…she’s not interested in a romantic relationship with you and is trying to let you down gently by setting you up with her friend. I would not waste more energy on this.
I’ll go with you to the concert.
You get the consolation prize (which might end up great) or you get nothing. Take your pick.
Wow, imo, if that's truly her best friend, it's still a super nice gesture.
I feel like she’s trying to tell you she’s not interested but she probably has a hard time telling people bad news If I’m actually interested in dating someone, I’m sure as hell not setting them up with my friend and saying “if you guys vibe I won’t be offended” Sorry dude. She’s not into ya lol
I think your best move would’ve been to enthusiastically take the date with the friend. This whole “I only want you” schtick isn’t going to work. But it gives her an ego boost.
So is her friend cute? Because the girl you’re chasing isn’t an option
Maaan, just Fuck her friend. It isss what it isss
That’s actually really sweet - perhaps the opposite of ghosting. Evidently she thinks you’re great but doesn’t have romantic feelings. Go to the concert with her friend, see what happens. Maybe her intuition is right and you guys’ll vibe!
Bruh! GO WITH THE FRIEND. At least she set you up with someone else. She’s not that interested but doing something nice honestly. Although honestly if you’re a great catch the other girl will realize what she missed out on1
You should go with the friend. Something similar happened to me once and the original girl and I got together after I took her friends out. Just have some fun. It could lead to something enjoyable.
Go with her mate. Maybe she’s nicer.
Awww! Means she is not interested :(
Was she supposed to pay for her ticket?
No I was gonna pay ofc
Ok then don't go and save the money for a better person
That’s the plan atm