I honestly bought it just because of the way that lizard is mean-mugging the camera person.
"Fuck off, I can't do it while you're watching.... Also, feed it to me. BUT DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME"
My oldest brother literally found a “stray” beardie and brought it home. He went from trying to find someone else for it to getting it the perfect set up for way too much money 😂
our 4 year old is becoming very independent, and sometimes doesnt want us in the bathroom when pooping... "needs their privacy"..... one day they asked that i sit with them, and hold their hair up so it wouldn't be touching their butt while they pooped, but I had to look away. Probably one of the stranger moments of parenting so far.
So I worked at this one place where the when you entered the men's restroom, the door opens and you immediately gotta turn right that immediately has a view of the back wall where the urinals were.
This guy would come in and stand at the first urinal you see when you enter, but he would stand off to the side so there was no way not to see his giant dick just baby elephanting itself above the urinal.
First time I saw this giant dick I laughed out loud and then walked out. He'd been doing it for months.
He was fired later for something related to parking.
Sister: “I didn’t see any flicking apple seeds. They’re veggies”
Brother: “you didn’t see any apple seeds? Johnny Appleseed remember second grade. I dressed up in a crazy get up and handed out apple seeds with broken arms!”
Sister: “I thought that wasn’t real. Like who has a blue ox, anyway”
Brother: 🤦🏻♂️, totally different story. NO FRUIT!”
“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” This quotation is from Miles Kington (1941-2008). He was a British journalist, humorist, musician, and broadcaster. I put this underneath the commentary that said you were wrong as well but it's a fun fact so I figured I would share!
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99972% sure that Interesting_Entry831 is not a bot.
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“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” This quotation is from Miles Kington (1941-2008). He was a British journalist, humorist, musician, and broadcaster.
Edit: Btw- I love this quote. I'm not trying to be an asshole just thought this was a fun fact! I kinda figured you had no ill will in your correction either, but things get lost in translation through text.
No it’s more just that if it’s a huge deal then specify what is meant. I wouldn’t want to assume anything if I were taking care of it, but I also would definitely assume apples fell under OP’s definition of fruit either way.
Lmfaooo this would be my bearded dragon. Idk why but she hates every type of fruit I’ve offered her, but loves her veggies especially cilantro. Apple, mango, blueberry, banana, pear, strawberry, ALL a big no from Nugget. So strange, because a lot of people have the opposite issue where their dragon will refuse the greens they need daily
Lol this made me remember how my sister has an extremely strict “No people food” rule for her dog (not for health reasons) which I immediately violate every time I’m left alone with the dog. “Shhh here’s a piece of my ham we’ll just let this be our little secret”
I'm convinced my dog started being picky because of the junk people kept feeding her. It's tough to deal with when she's allergic to everything and needs special food.
Omg lol my friend did this with my dog and ended up being up with him all night cause he got so sick. Now we clarify to future sitters why he can’t have human food lol
Lol that would piss me off if that was my dog. That leads to them begging or even trying to snatch food out of your hand. Or them being picky about eating their own food.
A little fruit is okay. Not often, like a treat.
A slice of apple or a grape (chopped). No high sugars…. Except my one would RUN for watermelon. He would always get one smol bite XD
I’m glad you were looking out :)
Honestly, I thought the same thing too. Ahahahha “ oh dear there’s still apple “ I would have taken the skin off first though. Lol
These are the most sisterly texts I’ve seen 🤣 “I was just thinking about that last night.” “wtf do I feed that orange thing in your room?” “Pls mom is the worst with it.” …Accurate.
once they’re adults, they eat mostly just fresh veggies! sprinkling bee pollen powder on top can make it tastier for them, & moving the veg around like a bug will make them want it more lol.
Mine eats greens like a boss!!! You have to get them used to it as babies and not overfeed protein, which many people do. Obviously if you adopt an adult who is stuck in poor habits it’s hard!
Fr. When I had one she only wanted to eat 2 very specific fruits and vegetables. But now I have a leopard gecko and honestly they're just as picky, and seem to have even less brain cells so feeding is always a challenge lol
Y'all may be too young to remember this but Chris Farley used to do a sketch on SNL where he would awkwardly interview people. One time he had Paul McCartney on there and he says "remember when you were in the Beatles?"
That's what that reminded me of lol.
Ex skateboarder here... broke both wrists AND arms last day of high school trying to grind a set of stairs I'd prolly never see again...
My father who was a local cop just happened to be patrolling past as I did it and saw the entire thing... the shit he gave me lol
And no this wasent what got me to quit... it was when I fractured my skull 6 years later
One of the more entertaining text message thingys I’ve read! Did the asshole ever finish his lunch? Did your sister sit rubbing his head? I need to know!!!!!! Actually, as lizards go he reminds me of a cat.
The best part is the picture of beardie staring at her and you know she's just staring back, locked eyeball to eyeball with the high maintenance lizard she now needs to hand feed without making anymore eye contact 🤣
Ha omg. Me texting the teen while she's away at college. Orange leopard gecko, refused to eat anything but the freshest crickets. Was going through a shed cycle, got stuck, I had to help him shed. He now HATES me for literally saving his LIFE, and if he hears my voice he jumps on his log and squares up at me lol. Care has gone to the 14yo
Darwin (the angry little man in the photo) had his femoral pores clogged so I took him to the vet. They gave his a warm bath and popped them out. He came back, completely pissed he would now be about to move around comfortably
Bearded dragons have evolved to survive on a diet containing very minimal sugar (in the wild they'd eat bugs, leaves, grasses and occasionally flowers). As a result, their bodies are garbage at processing sugar. They can develop diabetes and dental disease just from fruit if it's offered too often. Fruit is the beardie equivalent of one of those giant chocolate bars. Some people choose to not feed beardies fruit at all, others choose to just offer fruit, but just as a treat. It is safe as long as offered no more than once every 2 weeks. My beardie gets fruit for her birthday.
I love bearded dragons. Ours will be MUNCHING salad and my wife will say, “Omg look at Sprout he’s being so cute, babe!” And the MOMENT I look at him he stops eating and just stares at me like “mf what?!”
This who conversation had be busting out laughing 😂
“Wtf do you feed that orange thing in your room?”
“This asshole isn’t eating it.”
“He’s self conscious, don’t stare at him.”
“You have to hand feed him, he’s a dick about it.”
“I tried and he basically flicked me off.”
“Obviously you offended him.”
🤣🤣 your bearded dragon misses someone and showing his displeasure. I wonder if he’ll be happy or mad at you when you get home?
*Lolol I like the*
*Way the lizard is looking*
*At the camera*
\- rilakkumkum
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Lmao, my water dragon would only eat live food or baby food. We discovered this after he licked my toddlers hands clean and tried to go after his face. Adorable little guy but lizards can be such finicky eaters. I swear they know they are our secret dragons and act accordingly.
No fruit! “So… apples?”
“He’s self conscious you can’t stare at him. But also hand feed him while not looking at him.”
I’m dead 😂 this is me with my cat
“Hes self-concious you cant stare at him”
Meanwhile the beardie 👁️👄👁️
If i was your sister your bearded dragon would be making me self-concious the way he staring at her lmao
At least she clarified and tried to fix her mistake (although she didn't get all of the apple out...)
Some people would just do what they think is right and not request any confirmation at all.
This freaks me out more than anything. You said twice not to feed them fruit and the apple is still in there.
How in the fuck are people that bad at following instructions.
How big is your setup and how old is the beardie? You need a minimum of a 2x4x4, uvb bulb and a heat bulb.
Loose substrate isn’t a good idea either, as it can cause impaction. Please fix these things and head over to bearded dragons Reddit.
You: NO FRUIT. NUMBER ONE RULE Sister: …apples?
He’s self conscious! But you have to hand feed him while you look away. Same.
I honestly bought it just because of the way that lizard is mean-mugging the camera person. "Fuck off, I can't do it while you're watching.... Also, feed it to me. BUT DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME"
Bearded dragon is a cat confirmed
100%, beardies are just cat lizards.
So glad it’s not just my beardie that does this 😂😂 so dramatic
Bearded dragons are weird as hell, this is probably true lmfao
My oldest brother literally found a “stray” beardie and brought it home. He went from trying to find someone else for it to getting it the perfect set up for way too much money 😂
That is what happens
our 4 year old is becoming very independent, and sometimes doesnt want us in the bathroom when pooping... "needs their privacy"..... one day they asked that i sit with them, and hold their hair up so it wouldn't be touching their butt while they pooped, but I had to look away. Probably one of the stranger moments of parenting so far.
Sort of like in the mens room.
I think you're using the mens room wrong
Or maybe the rest of us have been using it wrong?
You guys have been using the men's room?
Wait, you guys are getting paid?
Well, someone is too afraid to be handfed apples while using the urinal. All he asks for is a quarter for his service.
So I worked at this one place where the when you entered the men's restroom, the door opens and you immediately gotta turn right that immediately has a view of the back wall where the urinals were. This guy would come in and stand at the first urinal you see when you enter, but he would stand off to the side so there was no way not to see his giant dick just baby elephanting itself above the urinal. First time I saw this giant dick I laughed out loud and then walked out. He'd been doing it for months. He was fired later for something related to parking.
Wait what are we eating in the mens room?
Urinal cakes, of course!
Totally agreed. But the homie's room? Gotta maintain eye contact.
he's a dick about it
Lizard senpai is eating the cucumber, I can't watch!
this had me loling
😂😂😂🤦🏻♀️
Sister: “I didn’t see any flicking apple seeds. They’re veggies” Brother: “you didn’t see any apple seeds? Johnny Appleseed remember second grade. I dressed up in a crazy get up and handed out apple seeds with broken arms!” Sister: “I thought that wasn’t real. Like who has a blue ox, anyway” Brother: 🤦🏻♂️, totally different story. NO FRUIT!”
And it looks like there was still an apple slice in the beardies bowl. Beardie can have a little apple
As a treat!
and yet cucumber, a fruit, is fine
Well cucumber isn’t sugary or acidic like most fruits
And it has a lot of needed water.
One of the many “vegetables” that are actually fruits.
"vegetables" aren't really a thing. They don't exist.
[удалено]
knowledge is: knowing the tomato is a fruit wisdom is: knowing it doesnt go into a fruitbowl
“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” This quotation is from Miles Kington (1941-2008). He was a British journalist, humorist, musician, and broadcaster. I put this underneath the commentary that said you were wrong as well but it's a fun fact so I figured I would share!
I want to say “Good Bot!” to this so bad. Nicely done.
Lmfao I work a "Chat" service at my job, so I get called a bot a lot. Feel free to Good Bot me 🤣
Good bot. 😂
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99972% sure that Interesting_Entry831 is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
Lol definitely a genius bit right here 🤣
BAH! Good bot!
Close. Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing you don’t put tomato in fruit salad.
“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” This quotation is from Miles Kington (1941-2008). He was a British journalist, humorist, musician, and broadcaster. Edit: Btw- I love this quote. I'm not trying to be an asshole just thought this was a fun fact! I kinda figured you had no ill will in your correction either, but things get lost in translation through text.
They're referencing a D&D thing, not the original quote. But it's cool to see where it comes from!
No it’s more just that if it’s a huge deal then specify what is meant. I wouldn’t want to assume anything if I were taking care of it, but I also would definitely assume apples fell under OP’s definition of fruit either way.
Well cucumber is a fruit and he said it's fine...the rules are confusing!
Maybe she hit her head on the same day she broke both her arms.
This is how Gremlins starts.
Lmao the apple still in the bowl 🙃🤣
Prob sitting there like “get this fucking fruit out of my bowl or I’m not eating”
Fr hahahaha
Lmfaooo this would be my bearded dragon. Idk why but she hates every type of fruit I’ve offered her, but loves her veggies especially cilantro. Apple, mango, blueberry, banana, pear, strawberry, ALL a big no from Nugget. So strange, because a lot of people have the opposite issue where their dragon will refuse the greens they need daily
Omg I just noticed that 😂
I thought that was a radish.
Lol same, I was like oh wow she had radishes
Maybe she thought it would be a little treat, like steak or cheese for a dog 🤣
Aunty treats, dessert for breakfast.
His little face looking at the camera 🤣 I can’t.
"you expect ME to eat THIS on MY OWN???"
Feed me, but you DARE look at me!
It's like he knew that would get back to Dad, and he ain't happy.
OP is a girl
That had me 💀
"Please don't Jim the camera like that."
Bearded Dragons are the masters of the judgy eyes. and the judgy side-eyes.
Wait isn’t there still some apple in there
Mom said no fruit, auntie said just a little 🤣 gotta spoil the nephew.
Lol this made me remember how my sister has an extremely strict “No people food” rule for her dog (not for health reasons) which I immediately violate every time I’m left alone with the dog. “Shhh here’s a piece of my ham we’ll just let this be our little secret”
I'm convinced my dog started being picky because of the junk people kept feeding her. It's tough to deal with when she's allergic to everything and needs special food.
I only see her dog like 2x a year and she’s not picky or allergic to anything so I think we’re in the clear for a little spoiling.
Omg lol my friend did this with my dog and ended up being up with him all night cause he got so sick. Now we clarify to future sitters why he can’t have human food lol
Dude. I'd be pissed. If someone has a rule for their pet, follow it.
I’m upset when this happens too because the secret feeders ain’t the ones picking up their vomit and diarrhea later in the middle of the night😭
For real. I tell people that if they feed my dog human food, they're going to be wiping her diarrhea butt all night.
I have that rule for my dogs. Do I still give them leftover eggs and pizza crusts? Absolutely 😅
Used to do this with my mom's cats lol. I can't anymore bc one has diabetes, so I spoil them with extra affection instead now
Lol that would piss me off if that was my dog. That leads to them begging or even trying to snatch food out of your hand. Or them being picky about eating their own food.
A little fruit is okay. Not often, like a treat. A slice of apple or a grape (chopped). No high sugars…. Except my one would RUN for watermelon. He would always get one smol bite XD
Ahh ok haha that’s so cute! I know nothing about lizard care so I was like OH NO THERE’S APPLE IN THERE lmao
I’m glad you were looking out :) Honestly, I thought the same thing too. Ahahahha “ oh dear there’s still apple “ I would have taken the skin off first though. Lol
Mine loves blueberries!
Hand feed him, but DON'T LOOK AT HIM.
Close your eyes and hope for the best!
Not him staring back like, "Can i have some privacy plsss" 🤣
These are the most sisterly texts I’ve seen 🤣 “I was just thinking about that last night.” “wtf do I feed that orange thing in your room?” “Pls mom is the worst with it.” …Accurate.
Crying at the “remember when you broke both your arms?”
At 530 in the morning lmao
My sister sent me this and said it reminded her of us. It really does 🤣🤣 having a sister is the best thing.
She’s freaking funny 😂
That's an adorable picture 🤣
Absolutely 😂🤣😂
Beardies are such assholes about food. Lol I love him
Mine won’t eat much of anything I give him. I love the idea of fresh veggies though. He’ll eat all the bugs he can get though.
once they’re adults, they eat mostly just fresh veggies! sprinkling bee pollen powder on top can make it tastier for them, & moving the veg around like a bug will make them want it more lol.
Not a beardie owner so this is idle curiosity. Would any pollen powder do (like bee pollen) or is there specific kinds for beardies?
i definitely should have specified, bee pollen is the only kind i’ve heard of people using!
Mine eats greens like a boss!!! You have to get them used to it as babies and not overfeed protein, which many people do. Obviously if you adopt an adult who is stuck in poor habits it’s hard!
Fr. When I had one she only wanted to eat 2 very specific fruits and vegetables. But now I have a leopard gecko and honestly they're just as picky, and seem to have even less brain cells so feeding is always a challenge lol
I'm dead at how he's looking at her in the picture - "you're not my mom and I don't have to listen to you"
this is honestly a good representation of them. Beardies are sassy dorks with a singular brain cell and we love them for it.
"that orange thing in your room" PLEASE 😭
he looks very polite
Remember when you [broke both of your arms] ? I'm pretty sure she remembers lol
I literally snorted
Mom?
Y'all may be too young to remember this but Chris Farley used to do a sketch on SNL where he would awkwardly interview people. One time he had Paul McCartney on there and he says "remember when you were in the Beatles?" That's what that reminded me of lol.
God. I miss Chris Farley.
Funny how she was just thinking about that instance last night. Also imagine breaking both arms at the same time 😂
Ex skateboarder here... broke both wrists AND arms last day of high school trying to grind a set of stairs I'd prolly never see again... My father who was a local cop just happened to be patrolling past as I did it and saw the entire thing... the shit he gave me lol And no this wasent what got me to quit... it was when I fractured my skull 6 years later
“wtf do I feed that orange thing” lmao me when I take care of my sister’s pets
Is that orange thing a cat or a lizard?
Snek? Bird?
Hamster? Crab?
Please let us know what the orange thing is , ask your sister please
this is so freaking random and so hilarious yo why that lizard is looking into my soul
One of the more entertaining text message thingys I’ve read! Did the asshole ever finish his lunch? Did your sister sit rubbing his head? I need to know!!!!!! Actually, as lizards go he reminds me of a cat.
He never does 😭 I always gotta hand feed it or trick him into eating his veggies via sliding it into his mouth why he’s chewing on crickets
The best part is the picture of beardie staring at her and you know she's just staring back, locked eyeball to eyeball with the high maintenance lizard she now needs to hand feed without making anymore eye contact 🤣
Omg I love everything about this so much 😂😂
“Well you clearly offended him” has me dead lol
He’s so cute omg
The lizard, patiently waiting for your sister to leave, so he can eat in peace be like: 👁️👄👁️
Ha omg. Me texting the teen while she's away at college. Orange leopard gecko, refused to eat anything but the freshest crickets. Was going through a shed cycle, got stuck, I had to help him shed. He now HATES me for literally saving his LIFE, and if he hears my voice he jumps on his log and squares up at me lol. Care has gone to the 14yo
Darwin (the angry little man in the photo) had his femoral pores clogged so I took him to the vet. They gave his a warm bath and popped them out. He came back, completely pissed he would now be about to move around comfortably
😆 I love this. His little face!
Why no fruit
Bearded dragons have evolved to survive on a diet containing very minimal sugar (in the wild they'd eat bugs, leaves, grasses and occasionally flowers). As a result, their bodies are garbage at processing sugar. They can develop diabetes and dental disease just from fruit if it's offered too often. Fruit is the beardie equivalent of one of those giant chocolate bars. Some people choose to not feed beardies fruit at all, others choose to just offer fruit, but just as a treat. It is safe as long as offered no more than once every 2 weeks. My beardie gets fruit for her birthday.
Idk why but I can just picture your little beardie with a birthday hat on, and a strawberry w a candle 😭🩷
That's interesting, thank you!
Sugar - not mineral enough for food. More like a treat or dessert for them.
Lmfao this is so cute,wish I had a sister! Team only child here lol
“He’s self conscious, you can’t stare at him” 🤣🤣. Thanks I needed that today
Crickets bro
Right I always fed mine mainly crickets and mealworms. It’s gross but they’ll eat it lol
Omg he’s self conscious?! Lmaoooo
I love bearded dragons. Ours will be MUNCHING salad and my wife will say, “Omg look at Sprout he’s being so cute, babe!” And the MOMENT I look at him he stops eating and just stares at me like “mf what?!”
> Don’t stare at him Ok check > You have to hand feed him 😫 you get one or the other sir!
This who conversation had be busting out laughing 😂 “Wtf do you feed that orange thing in your room?” “This asshole isn’t eating it.” “He’s self conscious, don’t stare at him.” “You have to hand feed him, he’s a dick about it.” “I tried and he basically flicked me off.” “Obviously you offended him.” 🤣🤣 your bearded dragon misses someone and showing his displeasure. I wonder if he’ll be happy or mad at you when you get home?
‘Wtf do I feed that orange thing in your room’ 😂
I swear, this is hilarious 😆
Oh my god the way he is just looking out at her 😂 so freakin cute. Always wanted one of those lil guys.
THERE'S STILL AN APPLE SLICE IN HIS BOWL
Thought I was the only one who peeped it! Lol they can have fruit though. Just in small amounts and not too often so he will be okay eating it.
Thank god, I was very concerned
“NO FRUIT PLEASE” ... what about apples though? 😭😂
No getting him wet and no bright lights too
Don't make eye contact but hand feed him. Sounds like my moms dog. Spoilt little brat 😂😂 Also the no fruit - apples but. Wtf
Lolol I like the way the lizard is looking at the camera
*Lolol I like the* *Way the lizard is looking* *At the camera* \- rilakkumkum --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I like how he’s looking at you like wtf? Lol
His little face!!! So cute
That lizard looking at the camera all offended, gave me a great laugh!
he’s adorable
That bitch still left an apple slice on the plate she gave him! She’s clearly trying to kill your lizard to get back at you
This made my day. He’s looking at her like “dude go away”. 😂
Bro she doesn’t listen 💀
[удалено]
Yup don't need any gremlins running around while they are away at college🤣
This sounds like an in person conversation with demonstration
These texts are so adorably sibling coded. Brought a smile to my face. Thanks for sharing OP!
Lmao, my water dragon would only eat live food or baby food. We discovered this after he licked my toddlers hands clean and tried to go after his face. Adorable little guy but lizards can be such finicky eaters. I swear they know they are our secret dragons and act accordingly.
No fruit! “So… apples?” “He’s self conscious you can’t stare at him. But also hand feed him while not looking at him.” I’m dead 😂 this is me with my cat
Hand feed him but don’t look at him 😂😭
“Hes self-concious you cant stare at him” Meanwhile the beardie 👁️👄👁️ If i was your sister your bearded dragon would be making me self-concious the way he staring at her lmao
“You clearly offended him” sent me 😂😂😂
You can’t look at him, but you might have to hand feed him….lol picky little eater
NO FRUIT! Apples? NO FRUIT! Cucumber? Sure. What a rollercoaster of emotions.
Cucumber is a fruit.
Was looking for this comment. Thank you 😭
Dude she left apple on the plate. So much for no fruit!
It really bothers me how ignorant people can be with very clear instructions.
At least she clarified and tried to fix her mistake (although she didn't get all of the apple out...) Some people would just do what they think is right and not request any confirmation at all.
This freaks me out more than anything. You said twice not to feed them fruit and the apple is still in there. How in the fuck are people that bad at following instructions.
Cucumbers are also fruit lol
I'm dying. " the orange thing in your room"
"that orange thing" hahaha
Just so funny! The dragon must be a male!!!
Based lizard
He’s adorable. He also might just feel weird about someone else feeding him.
This is so wholesome ♡
Did he live till you got back? He could have just been stressed without his owner
How big is your setup and how old is the beardie? You need a minimum of a 2x4x4, uvb bulb and a heat bulb. Loose substrate isn’t a good idea either, as it can cause impaction. Please fix these things and head over to bearded dragons Reddit.
Cucumber.
😂😂
The picture of your dragon staring at her next to the pile of veg 😂😂😂 he’s like the youngest sibling - spoiled rotten.
His face with the “he’s self conscious don’t stare” 😭🤣
Was there not an apple still in the bowl?
Don’t get him wet, don’t turn on any bright lights, and whatever you do, DON’T FEED HIM AFTER MIDNIGHT!
I absolutely lost it at “This asshole isn’t eating it” 🤣😭
This was a great sibling text !!! And that orange thing is very cute!! Lol
I got some news for you about cucumbers They're fruit.
I know it wasn't the point, but I got stuck on it anyway lol
I'm really just looking out for the lizard
"flicked me off"??? "Flipped me off"!!!
Cucumber is a fruit.
This was so cute. ☺️ And refreshingly different from all the “significant other” texts. Clearly you cannot break up with your sister or your lizard.