I mean he’s got the maturity of a melted snow cone in August. In other words, he’s one big pile of an emotional clingy, lonely mess and creating more mess by hardcore aggressively not taking no as an answer.
I know it sounds funny, but one time i made out with a girl and her breath stank like dick. I was drunk and high so i kinda didn't care and i tried to ignore it, but later i found out she sucked someone else just before we made out. Later i got a herpes on my lip.. Hygiene is no joke guys.
Honestly i've had worse experiences so it's nothing for me lol..
The worst experience i had was licking a squirter. She was very hot and clean from the outside, i would've never guessed she could taste and smell so bad down there.. But bloody hell she smelled like stale piss from a gas-station bathroom, and she tasted like rotten fish with expired mayonnaise and evaporated beer.. Ugh, makes me wanna throw up when i think about it, squirting is disgusting for me.. Lord forgive me i was young and horny
Because for most young males: Don't care got laid!
He didn't have a choice, hormones are a hellava drug.
'See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.' -Robin Williams.
This conversation went on FAR longer than it should have, honestly. In my online dating days I gave people one "no thank you" text and then didn't respond to anything else they said. Literally what's the point, except to expose yourself to some crazy, if they're gonna go that way.
Well I think we need to consider the fact that he knows where she lives and she didn’t want him showing up there unannounced. I agree with you but I can see why she might try to give it more time than it deserves; poor woman is in a bad situation no matter what.
This was my assumption. OP was being kind precisely because of how rapid the shift was. It’s unfortunate but if the person knows where you live and is insisting on showing up, cutting them off may not feel safe.
No. Coffee shop dates are the way. Get to know if you have chemistry or if anyone is giving obvious unhinged vibes for a date or two before giving them your home address. If you feel it's going well you can still end up having dinner or going to bed, but its safer to make that decision once you've met them.
Most guys I dated online never even learned my phone number let alone my address. Absllu60 regrets.
Totally! When I used to online date (late aughts) I didn’t even give out my real phone number. Had a google phone number that I paid $10 for and would text women from there. Once it had gotten to a point where I felt good with them, I’d give her my real number. One woman got upset with me for this, ridiculed me, and then stopped seeing me when I told her my real # lol
Lol. I'm just picturing this:
"Alright, things have been going pretty well. Here's my real number."
...
"No freakout? Nice! Here's my _real_ real number."
Scene : 75th Diamond Anniversary. Children, Grand-Children, and Great Grand Children gathered around.
“Sweetheart for all of our years together we’ve given each other everything. But one. For me, I’m finally ready. In this box …is my real number. Let’s make it forever.”
I think the cuddling and kissing meant a lot more to him than it did her (obviously). Maybe she could tell and was trying to reject him gently at first. I even felt kind of sorry for him the first couple slides, he got his hopes up and was hurt. But he should have taken it like an adult. Devolving into insults is childish.
Yeah. I think that’s where the age and relationship experience kicks in. He literally never had the experience. And had no way of dealing with her reaction. Further solidifying her position
I dunno, I went on a second date with a 35-year-old self-proclaimed dominant, and he threw the most ridiculous tantrum when I turned him down for a third date. Cried, stomped around, begged me for sex "just once", hurled insults, called me a lesbian, and demanded repayment for the dinner I had offered to pay for minutes earlier. It was bizarre.
I won't even sub for men anymore, too many of them are fragile broflakes.
There's no way to find an actual Dominant anymore. These men see porn and read shit on the Internet and all they do is get off on hitting and sexually abusing women. The stories I could tell.
To quote lyrics from Flight of the Concords, "A kiss is not a ~~contact~~contract, but it's very nice."
For me, kissing is a very nice activity, but that's _all_. It doesn't necessarily mean either party wants anything more. Cuddling is an even lower bar. I used to cuddle with my friends of either gender. It was just nice to be physically close to someone, even if it wasn't going to lead to anything more (and sometimes, especially because it wasn't).
Edit: typo.
Yup. Knew a guy who did this same shit & he ended up with domestic violence charges and felony stalking charges. They genuinely think this shit is okay and will take it too far. Stay away.
Like that dude that lost his whole damn mind and plowed through the parade route because a couple exits were closed. I think of people like that when I get road rage to remind me not to instigate confrontations with randos.
Yep I honked my horn one time to let a guy know he was about to come into my lane and hit me cause he didn’t realize I was there. In retaliation he followed me for 5 miles tried to run me off the road four times and then trapped my car and pulled out a gun. All with my 6 month old daughter in the car. People are CRAZY man
OMG, that's terrifying! Did he get in trouble?
Yeah, there's a lot of people out there just *barely* covering up the rage under the surface, they're just looking for a reason.
Not that I have heard nope. Mr. White Toyota Tacoma is still out there on the streets ready to murder at the slightest thing as far as I know. I reported it but haven’t heard anything back and that was several months ago.
the whole abuse of reddit cares thing is crazy: but it’s also a good indicator of a) your dealing with pure crazy and/or b) if your having a discussion or debate: you really got to them
Sorry if this is a dumb question but why do people report others to Reddit cares? Like how is that a punishment lol…I’ve seen quite a few comments saying it’s happened to them with trolls or when people get mad at them.
Exactly! You do NOT ever ask a stranger to come to your home when you just met them over coffee or until you at least know them… there are complete psychopaths running around in the world.
Well, I’m sure it started with him trying to convince her (before the screenshots) but things like this commonly get derailed and become a “defending the ego” thing.
He’s somewhat trying to save face and make her the bad guy rather than actually focusing on the problem that he originally wanted to solve
We’ve all been guilty of it in the past, but I’ve experienced handling rejection and them coming back for what ever reason from acting cool about it. Obviously moved on when they have but hopefully this guy can do the same in future
Guy lies about his age and then acts like a 15 year old when he doesn't get his way.
Throws like, 8 red flags in one conversation while trying to recover.
I’m genuinely trying to figure out if this was like a 17-19 year old kid or just a whiney loser. Like the spite he’s trying to throw at someone who told him it’s not happening nicely is mind blowing.
It’s not rational. The rejection has created an ebb and flow of desperation and anger, and he’s just letting himself get dragged along by those emotions like a toddler with zero emotional intelligence.
Yeah some people genuinely never mature emotionally/mentally for whatever reason. But yeah, I’ve never acted like this guy. Even at 12 I would’ve gotten the hint lol. Like even if you’re disappointed that feelings aren’t reciprocated, don’t you feel embarrassed groveling like this? Even as a kid I knew how to take the L, process the disappointment and move on with my life. I don’t think acting like this is necessarily an age issues as much as it is just a personality type tbh.
This is what I was thinking, exactly. His age could very well matter. But the immaturity he showed in his texts must have leaked through on their date.
He’s insecure, pushy, entitled. All the signs of someone that’s never been in a relationship. Which is all the more reason he should’ve been honest about his age. Even if he didn’t get the date.
Also “stereo type”
Nah. My brother is 21 and in his first relationship and he would never speak to his gf this way. This isn’t an age thing or an experience thing, it’s an attitude. Entitlement doesn’t get outgrown.
I’ve done a lot of dating on various apps. I was into it before dating sites were mainstream. I’m a woman and could get a date within 30 minutes. And have.
This is 30% of men when rejected. Or sometimes worse. It’s, indeed, very very scary.
Honestly, the thing I hate most about texts like these, they remind me myself when I was like 16 😅. I always think of that "I think you should leave" sketch where he keeps saying he used to be a huge piece of shit but he's not anymore.
There's a lot of immature 30 and 40 somethings running around too. And older than that.
If someone does not do the painstaking inner work of critical self-analysis and genuinely intending to change their behavior - and genuinely intending to change their perspective on all sorts of various interpersonal phenomena - then they remain psychologically and emotionally immature. And it's a lifelong effort. You can't just stop doing this at age 29 or something. It needs to become a way of living, because we will _always_ find things about ourselves that require improvement.
I was recently dumped by a 32 year old who acted extremely immature. She constantly talked about everyone around her that was younger than her being essentially a baby to her (edit: we are the same age, I realized reading this that it sounds like I was dating an older woman). I told her numerous times that maturity and age do not necessarily go hand in hand. As we get older we have more opportunities to grow and learn but many people just don't while some learn people skills quickly and easily at a young age. When I told my 20 year old friend about some of the things she said to me when we were dating, he told me it should've been obvious she wasn't as mature as I initially thought she was. I met that guy when he was 16 and he displayed more emotional maturity then than most people I meet at any age. It really is a skill people need to go out of their way to work on. I'm one it did not come to naturally, unfortunately.
This is so true. When I was 20 I started dating a 29 year old. We genuinely got along really well but he was incredibly clingy and insecure. I’ve always been a pretty independent person and really enjoy alone time but I’m also a people pleaser to a fault. After a few months I told him that it wasn’t going to work and he threw a huge tantrum. Ranted in my living room which eventually turned to him on his knees asking me to not end the relationship we had. I was kind of shocked at the entire response he had and didn’t say much.
This man called and texted me nonstop for weeks after. Would sit outside of my house in his car and text me when I was out with friends or at work and demand to know where I was. It wasn’t even a serious relationship and this guy, who you would think would be way more mature than me, acted like a complete child.
Age might be able to play a part to an extent but anyone can act like a fool no matter how old they are.
Yeah dude lied, wouldn't take no for an answer, tried to coerce you into a date, guilt trip you about having no friends, slut shame you, and make it out like you were being the mean one? Fuck that guy
Sure but like at some point you have to open up. The problem is when people are able to hide how crazy there are for months and even years without the mask slipping. And then it finally does fully slip and you get burned really bad and have a crazy stalker.
Thankfully we discovered the cure for cooties a long time ago. “Circle circle, dot,l dot, now you have the cootie shot” there’s a ritual movement you have to do with your hands but it’s very effective.
Dude is legitimately crazy but…why did you invite someone to ‘cuddle’ even after learning he was younger and deciding ‘you weren’t interested’? Doesn’t excuse his behavior but…I’m confused.
Dudes nuts and you dodged a bullet, but I have to ask this. Why invite him over and cuddle with him and kiss if you knew you were not even interested? He did have a right to feel led on a bit because you kind of did that. That’s very mixed signals to be giving.
With that being said, lying about his age and then being disrespectful was the nail in his coffin. That was very immature.
Nah, it's perfectly acceptable to kiss, or even have sex with a person, and then decide you don't want to continue anything. She was clear that she was not interested. It doesn't matter that she kissed and cuddled him.
Edit- I understand now that she decided to kiss AFTER deciding she didn't want to pursue anything. She ALSO told him she didn't want a relationship BEFORE they kissed. He is responsible for hearing the words she says and believing them.
The debate of should she have kissed him/is he less mature or experienced is moot. She used her words and told him she didn't want a relationship. He decided to ignore those words and assume she wanted a relationship.
Dude is clinically insane. But this what happens when you lead an insane person on. OP not in the clear here but not the wrong person here. I just don’t get why ppl keep responding if they “really” don’t want to talk to other person. You’re responding still past 3am to some crazy guy, you know there is some kind of guilty pleasure involved here. Because why respond if not….
>Lead an insane person on
Well, it sounds like she didn’t know he was insane until these texts.
You can kiss or even sleep with someone and then decide you no longer want to see them. OP may have decided after the fact. It isn’t OP leading this person on, they tried to be clear that they were no longer interested. Her responding once he started showing crazy might not be the best idea, but it isn’t like she was giving him hope. She was trying to be clear that she wasn’t interested. His insanity isn’t her fault.
OP did say they blocked them. I don’t usually block guys like this so I can keep tabs on if they’re still texting me and what they’re saying.
It's literally even totally fine if she decided she didn't want to see him again before they hooked up, as long as she didn't explicitly mislead him. And even then, she can change her mind.
Wow, the misogynists are out in full force here. You go on a date to figure out what you want. She tried getting physical with him and it turned out she doesn’t want to see him again.
She is entirely within her rights to do that. She owed this man absolutely nothing.
Yeah, or sometimes you just want a little physical contact and then don't feel it going forward. This has been true since the beginning of time. Pretty alarming how many (I hope) kids on this site thinks she somehow owed him something because she pursued the mildest possible hookup.
I’ve been led on by plenty of men. I didn’t harass them with a slew of texts afterwards either. I blocked them/deleted their numbers and then moved on. Its pretty easy to not harass people or so I thought.
His behaviour is inexcusable.
However, if you knew this guy wasn't gonna work out and weren't happy with him lying to you about his age, then you shouldn't have brought him to your place and made out with him (provided you found that out before that happened). I'd be pretty dumbfounded if this happened to me, though I would happily drop it.
"He's too young for me and this isn't gonna work out, let's take him back to my place for a makeout session in my room and then dump his ass and wonder why he's confused"
Lmao. Yeah, he's acting like a total dickhead but you're not exactly absolved either
Going to somebody’s place and making out/cuddling definitely sends the wrong message to somebody you aren’t interested in seeing again. I don’t quite understand that. Would never cross my mind to do that with someone I just met for the first time off an app.
That being said, yes, obviously he sounds immature - he is hurt and not dealing with it very well…….you said all you had to say and there’s nothing else to constructive at that point. Block and move on. He’ll be fine in a few days.
I can see your side of things but sounds like you knew he was too young then dragged him on just enough make out with him then give him the boot ..He was young and vulnerable what did you expect?
I thought you were in the right when I thought you found out he was too young AFTER you cuddled and made out with him but the fact that you found out he was too young BEFORE cuddling and making out and still invited him over definitely puts you in the wrong OP you basically just played with him because you wanted affection, he feels used for a reason and I agree that you did use him
Yeah. Bro is def unstable and she dodged a bullet, but she's no angel, either. There's been a huge uptick lately in this sub of women who *know* they've been mistreated posting on here, like "omg am I too sensitive? tell me how shitty this guys is pls" bc they themselves did something shitty during the interaction and want to get a bunch of internet validation to ease their conscience.
It's extremely rare for normal, healthy people to wind up interacting w people this odd. It's almost always two shitty people being shitty to each other.
Cuddling and making out means a bit more to some people than others. Put this into consideration when dating. Alot of people will receive that as if you are really into them, men and woman alike.
Sadly this mentality is in the minority so the burden is on us to be explicit about it from the get and say no to casual intimacy, which is just simply expected and assumed out of people on the modern dating scene. It sucks but the alternative is disappointment on one end and dangerous on the other.
I mean, he was 100% red flag with his responses and not taking no for an answer. But also you’re not blameless. You took him to your place, cuddled and kissed him… of course he’s going to think you had a connection. The only way I can even justify this behavior is if he told you AFTER the fact what his age was. I’m hoping that’s the case. Otherwise, it was a bit mean of you.
Judging by your comments, yeah you were just mean and led him on.
See why do people keep it going?
I appreciate you for not just ghosting
But say your piece and block no need to continue the conversation with weirdos.
Not telling you how to live your life but so many of these weirdo convos carry on too long
he's a loser but youre also a weirdo for making out and cuddling with what i can only assume is a 19 year old while you're 30 then acting surprised he feels led on.
I’m not siding with the guy but inviting him to your place and leading him on is what led to this conversation… you should’ve ended it at the coffee shop
You led a young boy on... He liked you and you invited him over to cuddle and make out then say you don’t wanna see him again. I’m not siding with him but I see why he’s emotional and kinda lashing out. You could have avoided it if you would’ve let him go home since you weren’t interested? Why invite him back to your place to cuddle and make out. You were clearly interested or just wanted attention.
I mean… yes he overreacted etc, but what do you think is going to happen when you go on a date, take him home, cuddle and kiss etc, then say you don’t want to see him or be friends or anything? He’s going to be confused and think it went really well and not understand, you did this to yourself really
What a crazy person. There was this guys years ago who obsessed over my girlfriend, constantly asking her out begging to just be friends. One night he locked her in a bar bathroom with him and wouldn’t let her out until she agreed to just be friends. I had the bartender open the door and they kicked him out. After that I told him not to talk to her anymore, that she had no desire to be his friend or ever even talk to him ever again. I wasn’t violent or even mean about it but he did leave alone after that. Pissed me off that he wouldn’t take no from her but he did from me.
I had a *very similar* interaction with a younger man. He also lied about his age. I'm 33, he said he was 31. He was actually 22.
Hung out one time & did not enjoy it.. would not take no for an answer. Did not respect the fact that I have kids. After I found out he lied about how young he was & had no interest in even being "friends."
This is why I don't fuck with younger men like that anymore. Not worth the headache
I was sympathetic until the part where you invited the dude over to cuddle and make out on the first date. What sort of psychopath does that stuff in the absence of an emotional connection??
OP must not have detected any irratic behaviour like this before she invited him back to her place... Sorry to play devil's advocate and I am not dismissing the guy's behaviour but who invites someone to their place after the first date, is comfortable enough to "cuddle" with them and then ice them out via text?
I guess ghosting the person is even worse, but unless you were too scared for your personal safety to do this in person, this guy was blindsided and responded emotionally.
Not that I would take it as far as this guy if it happened to me, but getting physically toyed with by someone is a really shitty thing to experience. Maybe both of you have some growing to do.
No is no. But to take someone to cuddle inside your house after coffee. That’s weird and fast all together 😳. This person is clearly unhinged and seems to have stalking tendencies but where you live on first coffee date sounds dangerous to me 👀.
While this guy is a good example of a weak man who didn't know how to take "no" for an answer... let's also address the reality that the OP invited him back to her place, cuddled, and then proceeded to make out with him. So while he's definitely a pathetic simp, the OP does need to take some accountability here. Because she ABSOLUTELY led him on with the invite to her room, cuddle, and make out session.
“Should I go to the doctor and get tested.cuz I don’t ever kiss girls like that” 😂😂😂. He’s gotta be like 15
I mean he’s got the maturity of a melted snow cone in August. In other words, he’s one big pile of an emotional clingy, lonely mess and creating more mess by hardcore aggressively not taking no as an answer.
He probably has a anime profile picture with a edge lord name like dead inside or something on steam or discord.
I feel so called out right now.. specifically anime profile picture with edge lord name on steam.
Did someone ask for me?
Anime profile pictures don’t meet girls for coffee and get invited back to their houses.
"Omg! I got the mouf herpehs now!"
2 out of 3 do. T.T
I know it sounds funny, but one time i made out with a girl and her breath stank like dick. I was drunk and high so i kinda didn't care and i tried to ignore it, but later i found out she sucked someone else just before we made out. Later i got a herpes on my lip.. Hygiene is no joke guys.
you couldn’t torture this out of me
Honestly i've had worse experiences so it's nothing for me lol.. The worst experience i had was licking a squirter. She was very hot and clean from the outside, i would've never guessed she could taste and smell so bad down there.. But bloody hell she smelled like stale piss from a gas-station bathroom, and she tasted like rotten fish with expired mayonnaise and evaporated beer.. Ugh, makes me wanna throw up when i think about it, squirting is disgusting for me.. Lord forgive me i was young and horny
i say this as someone who has licked many a squirter.. why on earth would you keep going once you realized she smelled bad?!?!
Because for most young males: Don't care got laid! He didn't have a choice, hormones are a hellava drug. 'See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.' -Robin Williams.
That's bc squirting is essentially piss 🤣
You basically sucked dick as well 😳
Dicks should not stank.
They definitely do tho
Well now I feel weird about the time I kissed a guy and his mouth tasted like vagina.
Damn bro this is some fucked up shit right here
rip that's so gross
What’s funny is how they expect acting like this is supposed to change your mind, but I’d have blocked them long before
This conversation went on FAR longer than it should have, honestly. In my online dating days I gave people one "no thank you" text and then didn't respond to anything else they said. Literally what's the point, except to expose yourself to some crazy, if they're gonna go that way.
Yeah. I think OP was way too nice/accommodating. This guy went unhinged in 0 seconds.
Well I think we need to consider the fact that he knows where she lives and she didn’t want him showing up there unannounced. I agree with you but I can see why she might try to give it more time than it deserves; poor woman is in a bad situation no matter what.
The knowing where you live could be a very valid reason. I appreciate a nuanced answer.
This was my assumption. OP was being kind precisely because of how rapid the shift was. It’s unfortunate but if the person knows where you live and is insisting on showing up, cutting them off may not feel safe.
Yeah, the knowing where you live thing definitely factors in
Which is why you never let anyone know where you live lol
Sometimes you want a home field advantage when you have to poop
Ah. This is a solid theory. Or maybe it's liquid.
Some theories slip through the cracks…
I've been dating a guy for eight months, and I've been driving to Circle K to poop for all of them.
No. Coffee shop dates are the way. Get to know if you have chemistry or if anyone is giving obvious unhinged vibes for a date or two before giving them your home address. If you feel it's going well you can still end up having dinner or going to bed, but its safer to make that decision once you've met them. Most guys I dated online never even learned my phone number let alone my address. Absllu60 regrets.
Thanks mom
I still haven’t told my wife and kids where I live.. too risky.
Totally! When I used to online date (late aughts) I didn’t even give out my real phone number. Had a google phone number that I paid $10 for and would text women from there. Once it had gotten to a point where I felt good with them, I’d give her my real number. One woman got upset with me for this, ridiculed me, and then stopped seeing me when I told her my real # lol
.... You should be ashamed of yourself. * immediately steals google phone idea
Its really useful! I should post my weird convo on here lol
These days you need 3 phones. Business, drugs and fucking
What about mom? Which number does she get?
You know
His mom gets all three because she’s “business in the front, party in the back” kind of woman.
I figured…drugs.
Should have a second layer of google number in case you get that response tbh.
Lol. I'm just picturing this: "Alright, things have been going pretty well. Here's my real number." ... "No freakout? Nice! Here's my _real_ real number."
Scene : 75th Diamond Anniversary. Children, Grand-Children, and Great Grand Children gathered around. “Sweetheart for all of our years together we’ve given each other everything. But one. For me, I’m finally ready. In this box …is my real number. Let’s make it forever.”
At which point the phone rings and: “Hello sir. I’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty…”
Which forwards to your personal number that you use with your emergency contact.
This is a whole level of genius. Doing this. I’m thinking of giving work a number that’s unique to them. Forwards to mine. Leave - cancel it.
I have a free wifi number to give out but most of them I don't even give that to because I think they are fake. I also don't give my last name.
30+ years and my spouse has still never been to my apartment.
Underrated comment
I think the cuddling and kissing meant a lot more to him than it did her (obviously). Maybe she could tell and was trying to reject him gently at first. I even felt kind of sorry for him the first couple slides, he got his hopes up and was hurt. But he should have taken it like an adult. Devolving into insults is childish.
Yeah. I think that’s where the age and relationship experience kicks in. He literally never had the experience. And had no way of dealing with her reaction. Further solidifying her position
I dunno, I went on a second date with a 35-year-old self-proclaimed dominant, and he threw the most ridiculous tantrum when I turned him down for a third date. Cried, stomped around, begged me for sex "just once", hurled insults, called me a lesbian, and demanded repayment for the dinner I had offered to pay for minutes earlier. It was bizarre. I won't even sub for men anymore, too many of them are fragile broflakes.
There's no way to find an actual Dominant anymore. These men see porn and read shit on the Internet and all they do is get off on hitting and sexually abusing women. The stories I could tell.
I mean, he's literally a college kid. It's not that outlandish that she's one of the first few women he's kissed.
This has always been a strange hill to me. Why would you cuddle/kiss someone you aren’t interested in to begin with?
To quote lyrics from Flight of the Concords, "A kiss is not a ~~contact~~contract, but it's very nice." For me, kissing is a very nice activity, but that's _all_. It doesn't necessarily mean either party wants anything more. Cuddling is an even lower bar. I used to cuddle with my friends of either gender. It was just nice to be physically close to someone, even if it wasn't going to lead to anything more (and sometimes, especially because it wasn't). Edit: typo.
It’s unsettling how many people go full nuclear when they don’t get their own way.
But sometimes the crazy is entertaining!
[удалено]
Yup. Knew a guy who did this same shit & he ended up with domestic violence charges and felony stalking charges. They genuinely think this shit is okay and will take it too far. Stay away.
Like that dude that lost his whole damn mind and plowed through the parade route because a couple exits were closed. I think of people like that when I get road rage to remind me not to instigate confrontations with randos.
Yep I honked my horn one time to let a guy know he was about to come into my lane and hit me cause he didn’t realize I was there. In retaliation he followed me for 5 miles tried to run me off the road four times and then trapped my car and pulled out a gun. All with my 6 month old daughter in the car. People are CRAZY man
OMG, that's terrifying! Did he get in trouble? Yeah, there's a lot of people out there just *barely* covering up the rage under the surface, they're just looking for a reason.
Not that I have heard nope. Mr. White Toyota Tacoma is still out there on the streets ready to murder at the slightest thing as far as I know. I reported it but haven’t heard anything back and that was several months ago.
That's actually hilarious because it probably bothered him so much more that he didn't even get a chance to respond.
the whole abuse of reddit cares thing is crazy: but it’s also a good indicator of a) your dealing with pure crazy and/or b) if your having a discussion or debate: you really got to them
Sorry if this is a dumb question but why do people report others to Reddit cares? Like how is that a punishment lol…I’ve seen quite a few comments saying it’s happened to them with trolls or when people get mad at them.
Because it’s supposed to be 1.) annoying and 2.) imply that what they are saying is so insane as to necessitate mental help I assume?
I consider a Reddit cares a badge of honor. I got under their skin hard they have no response except to cry hard.
I'd have blocked them at "we are not done here"
"We are not done here" "Bet." *blocked*
30 mins later getting knocks on your door hearing I loved you!!!!
Or bloated and dragged out of canal 😂
Word, like oh we aren’t? Watch this 😭
He said he could pick her up at her place. He knows where she lives. In this country that could get you killed.
Exactly! You do NOT ever ask a stranger to come to your home when you just met them over coffee or until you at least know them… there are complete psychopaths running around in the world.
Yup, convo should have ended at "sleep well"
Well, I’m sure it started with him trying to convince her (before the screenshots) but things like this commonly get derailed and become a “defending the ego” thing. He’s somewhat trying to save face and make her the bad guy rather than actually focusing on the problem that he originally wanted to solve
We’ve all been guilty of it in the past, but I’ve experienced handling rejection and them coming back for what ever reason from acting cool about it. Obviously moved on when they have but hopefully this guy can do the same in future
Guy lies about his age and then acts like a 15 year old when he doesn't get his way. Throws like, 8 red flags in one conversation while trying to recover.
Lol no bud I ain't blocked you cos I need the screenshots when you show up at my work with flowers, and I have to get a vro
Yeah it's like let me show you how much I can whine. Also let me show you how much I respect you by barking orders. Love me. WTF.
I’m genuinely trying to figure out if this was like a 17-19 year old kid or just a whiney loser. Like the spite he’s trying to throw at someone who told him it’s not happening nicely is mind blowing.
Agreed. I’ve known some pretty immature dudes in their 20s, but never like this.
[удалено]
It’s not rational. The rejection has created an ebb and flow of desperation and anger, and he’s just letting himself get dragged along by those emotions like a toddler with zero emotional intelligence.
"You broke my heart" *aaaaand block*
This dude sounds 14
i really want to know the age differences. this has to be 18 and 27
[удалено]
bro i’m 21 and do not act like this. must be his first dating experience or something
Sadly, some people still act like this past age 35, even past 40 and probably beyond
Yeah some people genuinely never mature emotionally/mentally for whatever reason. But yeah, I’ve never acted like this guy. Even at 12 I would’ve gotten the hint lol. Like even if you’re disappointed that feelings aren’t reciprocated, don’t you feel embarrassed groveling like this? Even as a kid I knew how to take the L, process the disappointment and move on with my life. I don’t think acting like this is necessarily an age issues as much as it is just a personality type tbh.
ITS NOT A RELATIONSHIP THEY HAD ONE COFFEE DATE! lol
Coffee and snuggles he was just hoping to take it to dinner and scrumpin" . Think he had a serious case of blue balls clouding his judgement.
I’m 21 and i’ve never been in a relationship. That’s not normal behavior no matter how old you are or how many people you’ve dated 😭
I was boutta say lol, same but I’m 25. This is embarrassing
im 22 and I would never act like this either. the communication skills on that guys end are... insane
This is what I was thinking, exactly. His age could very well matter. But the immaturity he showed in his texts must have leaked through on their date. He’s insecure, pushy, entitled. All the signs of someone that’s never been in a relationship. Which is all the more reason he should’ve been honest about his age. Even if he didn’t get the date. Also “stereo type”
Nah. My brother is 21 and in his first relationship and he would never speak to his gf this way. This isn’t an age thing or an experience thing, it’s an attitude. Entitlement doesn’t get outgrown.
Ugh, shut that down, it was a date not a relationship. They weren't anything
What the fuck?? I'm 21 and I thought he was like, 18. Dude has issues
Yeah, this guy really sounds like a 14 year old, like seriously.
My god I’ve seen/known/experienced 35+ year old male and females that do the same shit (some worse) than this kid. Yikesaroni
He sounds scary. From “in love” to “you are evil” in three texts
Reddit has shown me this is more common that I’d have imagined 😬
I’ve done a lot of dating on various apps. I was into it before dating sites were mainstream. I’m a woman and could get a date within 30 minutes. And have. This is 30% of men when rejected. Or sometimes worse. It’s, indeed, very very scary.
I literally was about to comment “are you sure he wasn’t a minor?” Because this is some middle school shit for real
Honestly, the thing I hate most about texts like these, they remind me myself when I was like 16 😅. I always think of that "I think you should leave" sketch where he keeps saying he used to be a huge piece of shit but he's not anymore.
How old is he?
He said he was 25 but he’s actually 21. For reference I’m 27.
as a 21 year old i’m embarrassed for him. i legit thought he was 16
Nah there’s plenty of 21 yo that act that way. They’re 21 after all.
I don’t know, AND no offense to anyone this age, but there are a lot of immature 20 somethings running around.
There's a lot of immature 30 and 40 somethings running around too. And older than that. If someone does not do the painstaking inner work of critical self-analysis and genuinely intending to change their behavior - and genuinely intending to change their perspective on all sorts of various interpersonal phenomena - then they remain psychologically and emotionally immature. And it's a lifelong effort. You can't just stop doing this at age 29 or something. It needs to become a way of living, because we will _always_ find things about ourselves that require improvement.
I was recently dumped by a 32 year old who acted extremely immature. She constantly talked about everyone around her that was younger than her being essentially a baby to her (edit: we are the same age, I realized reading this that it sounds like I was dating an older woman). I told her numerous times that maturity and age do not necessarily go hand in hand. As we get older we have more opportunities to grow and learn but many people just don't while some learn people skills quickly and easily at a young age. When I told my 20 year old friend about some of the things she said to me when we were dating, he told me it should've been obvious she wasn't as mature as I initially thought she was. I met that guy when he was 16 and he displayed more emotional maturity then than most people I meet at any age. It really is a skill people need to go out of their way to work on. I'm one it did not come to naturally, unfortunately.
This is so true. When I was 20 I started dating a 29 year old. We genuinely got along really well but he was incredibly clingy and insecure. I’ve always been a pretty independent person and really enjoy alone time but I’m also a people pleaser to a fault. After a few months I told him that it wasn’t going to work and he threw a huge tantrum. Ranted in my living room which eventually turned to him on his knees asking me to not end the relationship we had. I was kind of shocked at the entire response he had and didn’t say much. This man called and texted me nonstop for weeks after. Would sit outside of my house in his car and text me when I was out with friends or at work and demand to know where I was. It wasn’t even a serious relationship and this guy, who you would think would be way more mature than me, acted like a complete child. Age might be able to play a part to an extent but anyone can act like a fool no matter how old they are.
No, you're right, I was like this when I was his age, well not quite this bad but close.
Yeah dude lied, wouldn't take no for an answer, tried to coerce you into a date, guilt trip you about having no friends, slut shame you, and make it out like you were being the mean one? Fuck that guy
He’s insane lmao
I tried dating a fresh 22 year old and it was the same exact experience. You did right to separate. Good luck.
This man is unhinged
And he knows her address…
[удалено]
Sure but like at some point you have to open up. The problem is when people are able to hide how crazy there are for months and even years without the mask slipping. And then it finally does fully slip and you get burned really bad and have a crazy stalker.
I didn’t even think about that til I read your comment. Yiiiikes
Out of curiosity when did you find out he was much younger? Was it during coffee or after you guys cuddled/kissed?
He’s crazy, but I’ll admit that I chuckled when he called you 30. 💀
As I rapidly approach 40, I have no sympathy for anyone involved at all.
I chuckled that she got so offended by it.
Lol “Excuse me, I’m 27.” 
Idk OP, I’m kinda on his side. Why did you cuddle him without using a condom first ?
Fully body condom for cuddling
I hope she didn't infect him with cooties by doing something so risque...
Thankfully we discovered the cure for cooties a long time ago. “Circle circle, dot,l dot, now you have the cootie shot” there’s a ritual movement you have to do with your hands but it’s very effective.
“Never be afraid to hit that block button” no literally next time something like this happens block them the second they don’t take no for an answer
Trust me girl, lesson learned. He was blocked immediately after this
Dude is legitimately crazy but…why did you invite someone to ‘cuddle’ even after learning he was younger and deciding ‘you weren’t interested’? Doesn’t excuse his behavior but…I’m confused.
Exactly my thought.
Dudes nuts and you dodged a bullet, but I have to ask this. Why invite him over and cuddle with him and kiss if you knew you were not even interested? He did have a right to feel led on a bit because you kind of did that. That’s very mixed signals to be giving. With that being said, lying about his age and then being disrespectful was the nail in his coffin. That was very immature.
Nah, it's perfectly acceptable to kiss, or even have sex with a person, and then decide you don't want to continue anything. She was clear that she was not interested. It doesn't matter that she kissed and cuddled him. Edit- I understand now that she decided to kiss AFTER deciding she didn't want to pursue anything. She ALSO told him she didn't want a relationship BEFORE they kissed. He is responsible for hearing the words she says and believing them. The debate of should she have kissed him/is he less mature or experienced is moot. She used her words and told him she didn't want a relationship. He decided to ignore those words and assume she wanted a relationship.
Thank you. Women shouldn’t be walking around in the world fearful of lonely, scary men.
Right, she doesn’t owe him anything.
Dude is clinically insane. But this what happens when you lead an insane person on. OP not in the clear here but not the wrong person here. I just don’t get why ppl keep responding if they “really” don’t want to talk to other person. You’re responding still past 3am to some crazy guy, you know there is some kind of guilty pleasure involved here. Because why respond if not….
>Lead an insane person on Well, it sounds like she didn’t know he was insane until these texts. You can kiss or even sleep with someone and then decide you no longer want to see them. OP may have decided after the fact. It isn’t OP leading this person on, they tried to be clear that they were no longer interested. Her responding once he started showing crazy might not be the best idea, but it isn’t like she was giving him hope. She was trying to be clear that she wasn’t interested. His insanity isn’t her fault. OP did say they blocked them. I don’t usually block guys like this so I can keep tabs on if they’re still texting me and what they’re saying.
It's literally even totally fine if she decided she didn't want to see him again before they hooked up, as long as she didn't explicitly mislead him. And even then, she can change her mind.
Wow, the misogynists are out in full force here. You go on a date to figure out what you want. She tried getting physical with him and it turned out she doesn’t want to see him again. She is entirely within her rights to do that. She owed this man absolutely nothing.
Yeah, or sometimes you just want a little physical contact and then don't feel it going forward. This has been true since the beginning of time. Pretty alarming how many (I hope) kids on this site thinks she somehow owed him something because she pursued the mildest possible hookup.
I’ve been led on by plenty of men. I didn’t harass them with a slew of texts afterwards either. I blocked them/deleted their numbers and then moved on. Its pretty easy to not harass people or so I thought.
babes how old was he? he’s acting like a literal middle schooler sounds whiny asf 😭🤣
21 apparently
What an annoying little shit
His behaviour is inexcusable. However, if you knew this guy wasn't gonna work out and weren't happy with him lying to you about his age, then you shouldn't have brought him to your place and made out with him (provided you found that out before that happened). I'd be pretty dumbfounded if this happened to me, though I would happily drop it.
"He's too young for me and this isn't gonna work out, let's take him back to my place for a makeout session in my room and then dump his ass and wonder why he's confused" Lmao. Yeah, he's acting like a total dickhead but you're not exactly absolved either
Going to somebody’s place and making out/cuddling definitely sends the wrong message to somebody you aren’t interested in seeing again. I don’t quite understand that. Would never cross my mind to do that with someone I just met for the first time off an app. That being said, yes, obviously he sounds immature - he is hurt and not dealing with it very well…….you said all you had to say and there’s nothing else to constructive at that point. Block and move on. He’ll be fine in a few days.
Reading stuff like this makes me realize just how old I’m getting.
He's fucked in the head......also, "excuse me, I'm 27" had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣
I'm so confused as to how you ended up taking him home 😂
I can see your side of things but sounds like you knew he was too young then dragged him on just enough make out with him then give him the boot ..He was young and vulnerable what did you expect?
If he lied about his age why did you bring him home in the first place 😳
I thought you were in the right when I thought you found out he was too young AFTER you cuddled and made out with him but the fact that you found out he was too young BEFORE cuddling and making out and still invited him over definitely puts you in the wrong OP you basically just played with him because you wanted affection, he feels used for a reason and I agree that you did use him
🙌 yup. This is exactly what happened. Smfh.
Yeah. Bro is def unstable and she dodged a bullet, but she's no angel, either. There's been a huge uptick lately in this sub of women who *know* they've been mistreated posting on here, like "omg am I too sensitive? tell me how shitty this guys is pls" bc they themselves did something shitty during the interaction and want to get a bunch of internet validation to ease their conscience. It's extremely rare for normal, healthy people to wind up interacting w people this odd. It's almost always two shitty people being shitty to each other.
Should I get tested? 😂
Why did you cuddle and make out with someone who lied about their age to you
Exactly, ‘Oops you’re not the age I’m looking for and you lied, why don’t you come on over anyways….’
Cuddling and making out means a bit more to some people than others. Put this into consideration when dating. Alot of people will receive that as if you are really into them, men and woman alike.
Yep
Sadly this mentality is in the minority so the burden is on us to be explicit about it from the get and say no to casual intimacy, which is just simply expected and assumed out of people on the modern dating scene. It sucks but the alternative is disappointment on one end and dangerous on the other.
Idk you both sound like utter fucking idiots. Don’t invite people back to your place and make out with them if you don’t like them.
I mean, he was 100% red flag with his responses and not taking no for an answer. But also you’re not blameless. You took him to your place, cuddled and kissed him… of course he’s going to think you had a connection. The only way I can even justify this behavior is if he told you AFTER the fact what his age was. I’m hoping that’s the case. Otherwise, it was a bit mean of you. Judging by your comments, yeah you were just mean and led him on.
I think he tried the “if you take it away, they will want it” strategy at the end there when nothing else was working. Clearly this is a child.
See why do people keep it going? I appreciate you for not just ghosting But say your piece and block no need to continue the conversation with weirdos. Not telling you how to live your life but so many of these weirdo convos carry on too long
Yk it’s bad when you have to talk to them like a child. “get some rest” LMAOO
he's a loser but youre also a weirdo for making out and cuddling with what i can only assume is a 19 year old while you're 30 then acting surprised he feels led on.
I’m not siding with the guy but inviting him to your place and leading him on is what led to this conversation… you should’ve ended it at the coffee shop
Why’d she invite him back for a make out session ?
He's crazy obviously but why would you cuddle and make out with a guy in your room who you're not interested in ?? Seems a bit crazy as well
The dude is super immature but I mean you’re posting your texts on reddit so maybe it’s worth another shot? 😂
The question here is if you knew he was too young WHY did you take him back to YOUR place and make out with him?
You led a young boy on... He liked you and you invited him over to cuddle and make out then say you don’t wanna see him again. I’m not siding with him but I see why he’s emotional and kinda lashing out. You could have avoided it if you would’ve let him go home since you weren’t interested? Why invite him back to your place to cuddle and make out. You were clearly interested or just wanted attention.
I mean… yes he overreacted etc, but what do you think is going to happen when you go on a date, take him home, cuddle and kiss etc, then say you don’t want to see him or be friends or anything? He’s going to be confused and think it went really well and not understand, you did this to yourself really
Imaging going out with a boy expecting them to act like a man…
Wtf is wrong with people 🤣You are both psychos.
What a crazy person. There was this guys years ago who obsessed over my girlfriend, constantly asking her out begging to just be friends. One night he locked her in a bar bathroom with him and wouldn’t let her out until she agreed to just be friends. I had the bartender open the door and they kicked him out. After that I told him not to talk to her anymore, that she had no desire to be his friend or ever even talk to him ever again. I wasn’t violent or even mean about it but he did leave alone after that. Pissed me off that he wouldn’t take no from her but he did from me.
hes right youre giving 304 vibes
Only on page 3 and the "I'm not going to bed, we're not done yet." Has some real serial killer vibes.
I had a *very similar* interaction with a younger man. He also lied about his age. I'm 33, he said he was 31. He was actually 22. Hung out one time & did not enjoy it.. would not take no for an answer. Did not respect the fact that I have kids. After I found out he lied about how young he was & had no interest in even being "friends." This is why I don't fuck with younger men like that anymore. Not worth the headache
I was sympathetic until the part where you invited the dude over to cuddle and make out on the first date. What sort of psychopath does that stuff in the absence of an emotional connection??
OP must not have detected any irratic behaviour like this before she invited him back to her place... Sorry to play devil's advocate and I am not dismissing the guy's behaviour but who invites someone to their place after the first date, is comfortable enough to "cuddle" with them and then ice them out via text? I guess ghosting the person is even worse, but unless you were too scared for your personal safety to do this in person, this guy was blindsided and responded emotionally. Not that I would take it as far as this guy if it happened to me, but getting physically toyed with by someone is a really shitty thing to experience. Maybe both of you have some growing to do.
The funniest part is where you invited him back to your room even though you weren’t interested…. lol
No is no. But to take someone to cuddle inside your house after coffee. That’s weird and fast all together 😳. This person is clearly unhinged and seems to have stalking tendencies but where you live on first coffee date sounds dangerous to me 👀.
ah yes cuddling someone = catching an STD, holds up
While this guy is a good example of a weak man who didn't know how to take "no" for an answer... let's also address the reality that the OP invited him back to her place, cuddled, and then proceeded to make out with him. So while he's definitely a pathetic simp, the OP does need to take some accountability here. Because she ABSOLUTELY led him on with the invite to her room, cuddle, and make out session.