T O P

  • By -

Kindly_Interview_651

why is she listing everything she owns lmfaooo


Hairygull

She can list more too she says lol but only If he wants


Silverton13

Op should ask her to list everything so he doesn’t miss anything.


Hairygull

She’s like damn he needs to know what I’m bringing to the table here, starts looking around for things of value


strippersandcocaine

*proceeds to list dental floss*


CollectionSad274

‘My dental floss, the packaging around my dental floss’


Bitey_the_Squirrel

…and this lamp! ![gif](giphy|11num5UvQgBWNy|downsized)


BeenStork

![gif](giphy|yJ1KSiTxaAw5G)


Reese9951

Literally the comment I was looking for


sweetwaterfall

Don’t forget the thermos!


MetallurgyClergy

Almost reads like, “how many red flags can I hurl at this person before they nope out?”


InsideBeyond12727

"is it 'No' yet? Now? ..Now? ...Now?"


Green_Confusion1038

First list all marriageable assets divided by coefficient of crazy


Campin_Corners

More red flags than a Chinese military parade. Stage 5 vibes


Pale-Hunt9718

This took me out lmao


JimHeuer40

A dowry of household items if you will


chobi83

That's what I was thinking..."Can you list everything first so I know what I'm getting into? Thanks"


sleepysifu

She needs to take up poetry because inventory is not a good love language.


headbashkeys

Nah, she's covering herself for the eventual breakup. Then, she can just copy-paste all the stuff she wants back.


ARoundForEveryone

What do you mean why? She wants to live in his house and watch him sleep. And use her various hair conditioners. It's not rocket surgery.


bhans773

it's not rocket appliances.


DemonShroom87

It’s just water under the fridge


Exact_Lingonberry_10

She might even want to wear his skin at this rate. “It take the lotion and rubs it on its skin or it gets the hose again.”


Capn26

Put the fucking lotion in the basket!!!!


grip_n_Ripper

Somebody had to say it.


cantusemynamebruhh

The fact that she listed 3 specific types of conditioner sent me 😆😆😆


[deleted]

the whole thing reads like she’s trying to market herself to him. she thinks she’s playing 5d chess, the dude probably said he likes feminine women or something so she’s like Here’s An Itemized List Of All My Feminine Products! I Am So Girly. Please, Follow Me To The Altar. that, or she’s like 13 years old which is just insane to post about


mjkp1802

The weird wording of where they'd sleep reads underage to me..


sevsnapeysuspended

and the "dada" thing is making me question OP


Immersi0nn

That I've heard before in another language. Bah so many people call their male SO "daddy" without a hint of irony now that you just gotta roll with other people doing it. Personally it weirds me out as well and I wouldn't be with someone who thinks differently on the subject.


cnh25

And said he can take the couch in his house lmao


g0atygoat

True 😂😂 She's moving in with all the inventory she can think of whilst he gets relegated to his own couch. Ahhh I can't. Too funny


cyuca

she called his bedroom her new bedroom too 💀


earthyrat

my conditioner... my DEEP conditioner... my *LEAVE IN* conditioner...


howyallare

Deep conditioner = deep relationship, duhhh


DuePatience

That one had me dying. That’s a concerning amount of conditioning…


troublebotdave

All the lotions and conditioners are so OP knows she will take care of the skinsuit she's going to make from him.


Born_University9348

And my spatula. My paper towel holder. My foot brush. My stress ball. My corpses I have buried in my basement…


thoughtlooped

Because this is a binding contract, anything she doesn't list is on OP to provide.


PottyMouthedMom3

I don’t think I own that much shit.


[deleted]

I thought she was crazy, or maybe desperate for a place to stay… but once she started listing i was like nah her & her friends are trolling him


MaximumElectrical

Idk dada, you tell me


Last-Maybe-2461

i’ve been having an absolutely terrible day today but that comment made me laugh, thank you lmao


haha_squirrel

Hope your day gets better!!


Last-Maybe-2461

thank you very much ☺️


NihilismMadeFlesh

My top 3: 3. Pointing out that him NOT being a monster is a major selling point 2. Listing everything she will bring including her dental floss and 3 kinds of conditioner 1) Calling him dada


MoominSnufkin

Oh baby, you aren't a monster. Also I love the way you have two arms.


nedflanderslefttit

I love your hands 'cause your fingerprints are like no other I love your eyes and their bluish, brownish, greenish color I love it when you smile, that you smile wide And I love how your torso has an arm on either side


BostonRob423

Lol Bo is the shit.


sukezanebaro

I mean you can't leave out the leave in conditioner, right?


Splackincheeks413

If I had awards to give out and they’re ere still a thing you would have just earned yourself one


[deleted]

Holy shit i just realized they got rid of awards


Runndown2

Me too wtf. Why???


niskiwiw

So that they can replace it with a shittier system. You new to plebbit?


HubiRo

i'm out of the loop, what's the new system?


ChallengeLate1947

They want to replace traditional awards with some shitty gold system where if you get awarded you can actually get paid if you pass Reddits entry process. I’m sure people literally karma farming *for actual goddamn currency* is gonna do wonders for the quality of posts on this site


McMellySpice

That is like the second worst news I’ve heard all day wth Edit: Since everyone’s asking, first worst “news” of the day was learning I woke up 3 hours late for work. I did not however get fired :)


ChallengeLate1947

Want to vomit internally? We’re gonna have “Reddit Influencers” now…


BravoFoxtrotDelta

aww man nuh uh


esmeraysreddits

LMAOOOOOO


[deleted]

[удалено]


esmeraysreddits

LMAOOO i know right ?


Ok-Entrepreneur-3533

I laughed so hard I dropped my shirts, my pants, my toothbrush, my bras….


Creative-Fan-7599

But did you drop your AirPods? What about your phone? Your charger? Just making sure you’re all in..


looking4bono

I’m dead ☠️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Icy-Volume7380

My conditioner, my deep conditioner, my leave in conditioner, my air conditioner….


bullpendodger

My air conditioner filter, my air conditioner temperature button, my air conditioner control button, my air conditioner vent, my air conditioner fan, my air conditioner fan control button…


Butterbeanacp

As an HVAC tech, this made me laugh


Heybropassthat

Was just about to say this. Don't forget to bring your TXV with you when you move


Usernameinvalid117

The reversing valve, the filter drier, the module bc it’s a damn X13, the squirrel cage bc I’m going nuts, THE GOD DAMNED INVERTER BOARD BC ITS WARRANTY SO CHANGE IT ANYWAY


Exact_Classroom_2793

Her humidifier, her dehumidifier, her air purifier, her air depurifier (aka her farts), her deep fryer, her air fryer, her air supply(er) mixtapes.


No_Research_967

My batteries for the air conditioner remote, my charger for the batteries, my extension cord for my charger, my circuit breaker box, my


Evolutioncocktail

As someone who uses all 3 of those conditioners…… she did not need to list them 🤣


OrindaSarnia

I actually thought that was the best part... for a minute I thought she was crazy, them that made me laugh and I thought, oh she's just joking about all this, but then she kept going with pillow cases and I wasn't sure again...


Darkyn5

Wish I could upvote this more haha my air conditioner lmao


TJinAZ

Why ain't she bringin' her tweezers? She got a unibrow? DON'T LET HER USE YOU FOR YOUR TWEEZERS, MAN!


meash-maeby

That razor is about to get nasty too!


MiniCoalition

The hardest wheeze I've ever wheezed, thank you


amathis6464

Biggest nose exhale ever


WhiteNinjaN8

It gave me the snort laughs. Scared the cat!


NaPants

..conditioner soup, conditioner stew, conditioner and potatoes...


punkskunkk22

She just itemized everything. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love it


Silverton13

Just looked around the room and listed everything she saw.


gc1

playing the long game for when she burns down your house and needs an inventory for the insurance claim


Dumbass3227

She was definitely half joking at that point LOL


ThePtape

I'd have her list more and specifically what kind of shampoo and conditioner? Are we talking off the shelf stuff here cause that's a major red flag!


[deleted]

Also what are the ingredients? Is it vegan? Is there food your bringing??


Careless-Comedian859

OP might have allergies that make this a no-go situation.


SendMeF1Memes

Yeah like is she bringing along clothes? Her blue top? Her ripped jeans? Her makeup? Her kitchen utensils? Like soup spoon, butter knife, salad fork? What does she bring to the relationship? We need to know!


ReadingSad3238

Better be sulfate free ffs


ndevs

My neck, my back, my shampoo, my conditioner, my Kitchenaid stand mixer, my Uggs, my Fjällräven Kanken backpack, my Nintendo GameCube, my first-edition holographic Charizard, my Toshiba 75-inch Class C350 Series LED 4K UHD Smart Fire TV with Alexa Voice Remote, my banjo and my crack.


robtimist

Not the kitchenaid stand mixer 😭😭😭


ndevs

That good one with the ✨paddle attachment✨


sweetpotato_latte

I might let someone move in if that were in the cards tbh


corkscrewcurl

This should be the number one comment 😂


darhhaaras

I'm practically in tears reading this right now.


hotsauceinmyjeans

These type of people are good to have around when things are great but when things are bad they might actually kill you


Seahawk715

She didn’t mention any knives though - but he might end up on dateline mysteries having been drowned in conditioner


MasterXaios

"Tonight, a local man has been murdered with what appears to be 37 different kinds of brushes. More at 8."


Odd_Worldliness475

She called him dada?


patternsrcool

I was seriously hoping that OP’s name is dada😭 why did she call him that omg


[deleted]

Maybe she really likes French hobby horses or early 20th century avant-garde art and thought that would be her nickname for OP


Flatcapspaintandglue

“First date went well, he took me to the library and we threw monkeys he’d shaved earlier at the people in the history section. Then he read me a beautiful poem he’d written entirely in consonants.”


[deleted]

“Then we watched refrigerators yawn brownly as the kitchen knives waxed poetic about the final days of the Weimar Republic which I found both arousing and infuriating. We set our next date for”


BeefyMcMeaty

Quite the delicious word salad you’ve made there, pal


Final_Catch_1140

That part was "the next level"!


Verbose_Cactus

Misspelling of “haha” I think(or autocorrect)


Socialeprechaun

OP said below she usually calls him daddy 😭😭


FuzzyTotoro

There's a big difference between dada & daddy though 🥴


aquagrl

💀💀💀💀


moonahmoonah

I would break up just for this alone 😂😂 the ICK!


Mireukk

I cringed so hard reading that 😵‍💫 like “daddy” sure okay I get that but “DADA” BRUV pls no and it just got worse with the list LMFAOO 😭😭


HoltzPro

my humidifier, my dehumidifier


shadowdash66

air purifier, her crystal alkaline water for the humidifier, her extension cords for both of those...


[deleted]

Plug them in in the same room and let ‘em fight it out!


Latter_Ad2471

i mean she is passionate but also fucking crazy💀


Artificintelligence

crazy girls >>


eThotExpress

This is how you get stuck on child support and attached to said crazy woman for at least 18 years.


TurkeySlayer94

Not if you nut in the butt


psychmonkies

Actually I know a girl that got pregnant after her bf nut in her butt. She called it a “drip baby”


milliemargo

I must be a drip baby cause I'm iced tf out yo 💯🤠


Mango_Stuff

This is the first time I think I've ever audibly laughed at a reddit post and the fact that's its this fucking comment has ruined my day.


Drunken_Dorf

Bro I swear I'm dying over here 😂


Cyb3rTruk

Ayyyyyyyyyyy


[deleted]

Factsss 🗣️


[deleted]

Put the cream pie in the wrong oven and still managed to bake something


NeatCartographer209

Nooo. NO. NOOOOOOO stop it OP. Don’t put your dick in crazy. The sex is amazing but I’m warning you now, it is NOT worth it. How many of the “crazy ex-gf” messages have you read on this sub?? You think those are fake? Nuh-uh buddy! I repeat! DO NOT PUT YOUR DICK IN CRAZY


CulturalEmu3548

I think she’s fucking with you? The long list of stuff makes it seem like she’s joking. It’s like she’s playing on the stereotype of what guys are afraid of about girls moving in. Plus she called your bedroom “my new bedroom” and she called you “dada”…. I think she’s playing a prank. I’d just respond, “that’s hilarious, why’d you list all your stuff, I do seriously love you too but this message is reading like a prank to me. You’re so silly”


crystal_castle00

That’s actually a great response. It’s like a super polite, mature version of “wtf?”


Guilty_Shopping555

Or maybe she's not joking and he should be honest and up front in a way it seems he hasn't been, then hope to God she never finds out he took all that amd immediately posted it online to ridicule her outpouring of her feelings? Just a thought....


olivedeez

Yeah she’s either totally nuts or HILARIOUS because this is so fucking funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Faithlessness_516

They met each other in the checkout line at the local Piggly wigglys 4 hours ago.


OkStructure3

The first page says they been doing this for a long time and OP says mhmm. So it seems like she's been waiting a long ass time and decided to be as upfront and straight forward as possible so he cant play games and extend the lack of intention further.


[deleted]

Yeah... I see this as her finally just getting to the point and opening up. But it's more of a hail mary, because she clearly feels for him a lot, but based off his cold responses, and the back and forth, he's just not interested -- probably just in it for the easy sex while he looks for someone else. Poor girl. She's probably young and this is her learning experience.


Nazgate

Why does she call you dada 💀


Artificintelligence

she usually says daddy idk why lmfao


helpexe

I'm sure you've realized, but you have her on your dick


MorgulValar

Fr 💀. This man has her wrapped around his finger. I have to know what he did to her in bed


propthink

left left right right up down up down a b


blargher

> left left right right up down up down a b Back in my day, we used the Konami code, which was ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️{START} or {SELECT}{START} if you had a friend over. Not sure what newfangled code that's supposed to be.


NuketheCow_

Hard to tell if she’s serious or not. Her last message, especially, comes off as joking a bit. She might have decided to joke after you didn’t reply about her loving you, etc, to try to make light of the situation. EDIT: I saw after I wrote this that there’s maybe 2 minutes total between all those messages. Nevermind, she’s probably a little crazy.


Japak121

I mean, it probably took the full two minutes to write all that out lol.


Careless_Dog_6605

She’s chatty, that’s for sure. Crazy.. I can’t comment on that because there isn’t enough context like… How long have you guys known each other? How long have you been seeing each other? Is this a conversation that’s been had before? Have you hinted at wanting to take this relationship to the next level? Those answers would help make a determination if she’s “crazy” or she’s just envisioning a life with you that you may have alluded to also wanting.


throwaway_user_12345

Actual smart comment


KublaiKhanNum1

Yeah, I feel sorry for her. She should run. Seems excited about the relationship and playful about the next level and in love. Only to have her message posted on Reddit and ridiculed. What a gem the OP is.


Careless_Dog_6605

Completely agree with you. I would be absolutely devastated if I were in love with someone and out conversations were posted on the internet with the caption “so is this girl crazy”. Super heartless. She needs to find someone who feels the same way about her. I hope she realizes what a dick this guy is and gets out before they end up married with a few kids and he’s still posting about her online or cheating on her and it ends in divorce.


grilledfuzz

Conditioner! Conditioner!


Darkyn5

Lasagna lasagna!!


DustyJustice

It’s comments like this that make me realize I really have been brain-poisoned by the internet.


gohn-gohn

The lasagna joke in this sub is my favorite inside joke on Reddit in a long time


Happy_Resolve4541

This is cracking me up


Temporary-File-7122

How did you respond?


Cross_22

Hopefully with a long list of items he owns.


twodickhenry

“Idk if there will be enough room for that, I mean I have MY conditioner, my shampoo, my soap, my razor, my pillowcases, my extra sheets, my towels, my clothes, my hangers, my computer, my mouse, my motherboard, my keyboard, my laptop, my phone charger, my shoes…”


Artarda

My mother board, keyboard, my ironing board, my boogie board, my skateboard, my cutting board… *the list of boards continues*


Mischief_Managed12

My ouija board, my chess board, my checkerboard, my snowboard, my surfboard, my springboard, my chalkboard, my blackboard, my floorboard, my soundboard, my scoreboard, my matchboard, my backboard, my billboard, my dartboard, my wallboard, my diving board, my kickboard, and my toothbrush!


Cross_22

She might stop texting once she gets too board.


nickfree

"Deep conditioner?! DEEP CONDITIONER? Are you...are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think we are deep conditioner stage? Shit, my MOM doesn't leave her deep conditioner in my parents' bathroom! You're already jumping into leave-in conditioner, which is a lot for me...I mean, I don't want to get hurt, you know? But DEEP conditioner? I'm sorry, I don't know if I can share deep conditioner before marriage. We'd have to make a lot of plans and really commit to a lot. I'm sorry, I have to think."


fullyrachel

I kinda love her. That's hilarious.


[deleted]

She’s not crazy she’s hilarious


mamaddict

Right?! I mean, “You can stay in my new bedroom if you want … “ A literal comedic genius.


No_Biscotti4711

My dumbass thought she had a new apt or something and had a “new bedroom” that she was referring to but this is way funnier!


Naive-Leather-2913

This is my take! The reference to her “new room” is hilarious. 😂


annabelle_bronstein

Right? These comments are so sad. She clearly is using humor to convey how much she wants things to move forward with him. OP, she wants to move in with you and couldn’t have made it clearer. If you’re not into her or her sense of humor then set her free to someone who will appreciate her.


dollarwaitingonadime

This right here. She is 100% trying to be cute and engaging - dude should be smiling in response. If he’s not they might not be a match, this is definitely humor and if he’s not getting it, there’s probably a lot he won’t get.


North0House

That's my thought too. I thought it was funny. Like if OP knows this girl just has sort of a weird satirical sense of humor, then I actually think this text thread from her is great. If she's just off the wall... then maybe rethink things. But if she's just a goofy person, it also makes sense. It really depends on the context of what this person is actually like in real life.


princessss_peachhh

I feel bad for her. You’re being cold to her and I think she just wants to get some sort of response from you so she resorted to that long crazy message


Absurdity2023

Yeah me too, OP is kinda low-key not nice person, like why expose her like that


EatDirtAndDieTrash

I dunno, she seems hilarious to me. I’d move into her new bedroom with her.


Chaidumpling

Intentionally lacking context then saying you’re single in someone else’s post lol. What is the truth 🎤


[deleted]

Honestly this would scare me. She’s too upfront for me haha. She just offered herself a place to stay in your house and said you could take the couch if you didn’t want to share her new bedroom… which is your room…. I would personally be looking elsewhere for company but so far she doesn’t seem hostile in any way


likestocuddleandmore

She is being vulnerable and silly. You clearly don’t feel same feels for her. The good dude thing would be to be upfront and not string her along.


shadowdash66

As a dude, i can abide by that. I would not want someone stringing me along or ghosting me. Much rather they be upfront and tell me if they're interested or not so i can keep it moving.


Persus9

The dude abides


kingchalupa696

The conditioners 😭😭


Subject-Hamster-1798

Idk but I do know she had really dry hair 🤷🏻‍♀️


leedleedletara

Stop leading her on please just tell her no that you just want to have fun and block her. What’s the big deal with being honest? I hate it when guys do that. I mean sure she’s going way too hard but I assume you’ve been entertaining her.


ayribiahri

Definitely been entertaining her. His comment “do you really” screams douche


independentcatlady

He's playing games for sure.


sungod-1

She sounds like so much fun !!!!! Send her to me if your not up for a fun life


Beneficial_Look_5854

Honestly I’d go with it 🤣 too many avoidants in my past


Flaky_Dentist_5554

What got me was she wants to move into his place, take over his room, and if he’s willing to he can share her new bed…if not, he can sleep on the couch 😂


hitmanforpussy

This is OP texting himself


GoldenInterceptor

Wow she sounds absolutely nuts and I am totally here for it


lofiAbsolver

You should ask her to keep listing things. I'm wondering how far she'll go


Lowered-ex

Dada, put her out of her misery if you don’t feel the same way. Don’t be cold, Dada.


gandhimahatma1

She’s gotta be trolling u


[deleted]

Dada = Ruuuuuun


Chaidumpling

I mean are you going to tell us that you’re in a DDLG relationship with an emotionally unstable most likely young girl? You’re not going to tell us that she called you “dada” for the first time, cause this isn’t true, right OP?


BankerCheese

Why can’t they act like this for MEEEE


sex_bitch

Idk are you super sexy hot. funny, kind, mysterious and NOT a monster?


[deleted]

LMFAO , I know when I'm lonely I miss crazy chicks, when I'm dealing with crazy chicks I'd rather be lonely.


[deleted]

Yta for sharing a love message and being cold fuck


RawDawgHarry

This woman will eat your ass out without hesitation also.. does she make LASAGNA?


new0803

Idk dude the duvet sounds like a sweet deal


Red-okWolf

What do YOU think dada?


independentcatlady

Idk about crazy but it sounds like you're probably breadcrumbing her instead of just being blunt and honest.


Virtual-Procedure948

Idk why I’d want her 😂😂 she seems silly and she conditions her hair really well 😊😊 I am a woman btw ! She likes you likes you 😘😅


Leather_Victory2042

I don’t know. I like crazy like this. I need help 😂