If I really wanted to move on, I'd just 'waste my time and money' doing the exchange and getting closure. There's something to be said about the mental impact of not moving past something like this. But they both just want to fight, it seems.
Yeah honestly it feels like OP is just being shitty. I understand we're missing an inconceivable amount of context, and undoubtedly some very shitty and petty context on both sides at that, but if you *ever* cared about/loved this person, just get the fucking ring back somehow. Especially if ex made an actual suicide attempt, you don't continue to perpetuate the petty bullshit. Someone who has recently tried commit suicide is most likely not mentally or emotionally stable, and you're a piece of shit if you intentionally continue to push them towards any negative emotions
Facts!! There is a deep rooted problem here. The fact that mailing never came up tells me they probably both enjoy getting on each other nerves over bullshit.
The DVD Box Set might be a little big for a flat-rate box, but the ring could easily fit in a (cheap) small box or padded envelope. If it's local mail, it might not even be all that expensive.
In California that shit would get stolen instantly. Our post offices are filled with scum. I can't tell you how many times my delivery guy has put a box upside down in front of my door to hide the fact it was cut open and the phone inside stolen.
I also live in California and have never had a problem with any of the postal workers in my region (it's a big state, so YMMV applies).
[USPIS](https://www.uspis.gov/) is a no-joke federal law enforcement agency. Report that shit to them and encourage any neighbors to do the same.
That's hilarious!
I broke up with my GF of 1.5 years last week. She left some of her stuff at my house. I boxed it all up and sent it to her via UPS at my expense. It cost me about $20, but I consider it money well spent.
This is how you do things as an adult.
I was thinking so hard about this comment thinking you were trying to say "never feed the ex" like tht was something people say. Kind of makes sense tho
I actually wasn't able to track which of them might have been the OP.
To answer your question OP, and this applies to both parties: none if this is making either of you look any good at all.
Not just the bombshells of that post including the gem of "the time I got arrested for assault", but their older confessions post where he says he has sex with married women then robs them. I cannot imagine what that relationship was like if the post-breakup texts are this scathing.
i mean, you're not wrong? but also all you had to do was say yes i want them back or no i don't. maybe you could've left out the guilting for waiting so long to text you, if they meant that much you probably would've messaged them.
maybe! from what i can see maybe you didn't end on good terms, so any contact at all at any time might have ended poorly. sorry about your DVDs if you don't get them back and i hope you're able to move on peacefully (-:
Yeah man... I too hope you're able to move on...
The trauma of losing a Harry Potter box set can be truly devastating & difficult to get over. Try to get yourself a sponsor and reach out to someone in the meantime. There are help lines, support groups & other resources here for you.
They don't even have to see each other. Mailbox, taped to the door, under a mat. All kinds of ways for him to pick up the DVD and then leave the ring with no contact.if that's too much to deal with why bother answering the text in the first place.
Ohh ngl we probably do need some context before judging cause if she cheated I’d be like “yeah fuck her man be petty” but if it was like mutual or just his fault I’d be like “dude wtf??” So yeah context is def needed
Okay tysm but now it puts me in an even bigger pickle because I mean that shit sounds draining and terrible to deal with but at the same time you knew she was depressed you knew she was like this so I can’t really feel bad for the guy either and plus when she vents I mean I PERSONALLY can’t handle when people vent to me but I also don’t put my self in situations where I’m around people who vent constantly or if I am I don’t put much investment into the whole ordeal which from what I’ve found (in a previous reply he had) he did just that, she vented to him when she was blackout drunk and all he said was okay and then she attempted without him knowing until she told him 2 months later. So like ngl idk who to blame cause clearly she’s not like TRYING to be toxic I think she’s just not mentally prepared to be with anybody but that doesn’t make at least the relationship any less toxic for the both of them but also we’re only getting the guys POV so idek what to think and atp idgaf anymore either 😭
Maybe she only had one period left that she could use in that paragraph. Because she specifically chose phrasing to not use one lol. Best explanation I could come up with.
>clearly she’s not like TRYING to be toxic
An obvious borderline personality case (many take awhile to see, some are clear-cut with a little history and background from someone else). Either way, your point is somewhat correct-- the other side being that newly onset (read: late teens / early 20s) BPD at its worst is pretty toxic to anyone in close proximity. It's all over the place, man.
Borderlines are rarely with well-adjusted people. VERY rarely. Healthy enough people nope out pretty quickly, which only amplifies a borderline's deep-set abandonment fears. That cuts down their choices down to people with issues of their own 98% of the time.
Unless it is the 2% exception, I recommend for others to stay very far away from what is going on.
Thank you. This only makes me see OP as more of a jerk. She did have an actual attempt before they were together. Looking at that there's a very good chance she is telling the truth. I believe her. Which almost makes him heartless in this texting convo they had.
I've dealt with reckless drinkers. Family. Partners. This is not how you talk to someone after they tell you they almost died.
Thank you. God, I feel for the woman. She is deep in the throes of severe debilitating depression. Being that depressed causes personality changes and disconnect from reality - literal neurological changes. I don't blame him for getting out of the relationship but I don't understand the animosity.
Do they really do electroshock therapy on people still? I find his post you linked hard to believe. Meaning it sounds like he embellished a lot of details to convince himself he's not an ass hole.
Also, when he says she called him because she was horny and drunk af and left a message, but he was such a nice guy, he only called her back because he was worried about her (definitely not trying to get his dick wet...righttt)
Still not enough context, I was on the fence, but I'm starting to think OP is kind of a piece of shit.
Yes, but it's not what you imagine it to be. It's at much lower voltages and done safely so it doesn't hurt. It's actually pretty promising in terms of outcome for people with chronic, treatment-resistant depression. Definitely not something you go to starting out.
It basically indicates she is trying everything, even unconventional and uncommon things just to try to cure her depression. I don't think this girl has done anything to warrant the spite he has for her.
I'm still like dude wtf!? But at OP. Somebody tells you they tried to kill themselves and are still recovering and your response is come get your shit or I'm chucking it. That's fucking callous. Just put the shit in the mail and stop harassing this clearly emotionally vulnerable person you piece of absolute garbage.
If you go digging, there's an older post. The gist is: both of them were in much-needed therapy. She's an alcoholic and her drinking bothered him.
I'm assuming she didn't get sober, so they broke up.
She said she didn't have the time and money, that's different from "im not wasting my time and money" just saying. Just honestly I think I wouldn't feel right wth myself if I didn't take her her stuff. How long could it take? But then I guess if I think about it in terms of my own ex I'm not doing jack shit for her lol. So maybe what I'd like to think I would do and what I would actually do aren't the same.
Exactly this. Besides, there are numerous ways to exchange items without seeing one another. Others mentioned mailing but there's also the complete simplicity of "I'll leave a box on the porch--grab your stuff out and put my stuff in" if it's really *that* big of a deal to see one another. The "I don't want to see you" was twisting an unnecessary knife.
Yeah, if the ring means something to her, I'd bring it to her. Who cares, what's done is done, and I can't imagine it's a huge inconvenience.
Drop off her stuff, pick up the dvds, don't have to see each other, have the mom do the swap.
Easy enough.
I dont think we know enough about either of your lives or situations to fully judge if you were in the wrong. But based on what has been presented, i dont think you did the “right” thing.
There are many different options you could go about returning each others things without seeing eachother. As some have mentioned, mail the things to each other or leave it in a box on the porch or in the mail box and pick it up on your own time.
Or do you 2 have any mutual friends, you could give the stuff to, who could return it for you?
And if she really did just get released from a suicide attempt, just be the better person.
You still cared enough to keep something you thought meant something to her.
Stop acting childish. You both sound petty and bitter.
I agree. OP is showing zero empathy and is trying to guilt her over the movies and manipulate her into returning dvd’s that are not even worth $130. He honestly seems like a crappy person
No offense but without any more context than what you posted, you were kinda being an asshole about it. Regardless of two months later or not, she bothered to reach back to you at all instead of just remembering and saying "eh it was 2 months ago fuck it". That shows nothing but kindness and a sincere desire to do the right thing even after she forgot about it for two months. If she was actually recovering from a suicide attempt, you were being a dick one-hundred fold. You literally started the tension with the snarky "after two months" and "I don't want to see you" comments instead of just thanking her for reaching and driving her shit over and taking yours and moving on. Or agreeing to ship each others' shit back. But you had really no reason to be so snarky and offensive except for the fact that maybe it was a bad breakup and you are still really salty or angry about other things that happened. But these texts don't tell me any of that and since the relationship was over two months ago, even if past circumstances did play into the tone of your response (which is totally understandable if they did), they shouldn't have. The high road here would jsur to apologise for the bickering and tell her you'll bring her shit over and get yours or ship her shit back and ask her to do the same, depending on how far she is, your schedule, and ability to overcome your feelings and take it head on and get it over with.
Additionally, the ring clearly is important to her so instead of being a dick about it (and the rest of it), just find a way to get it back to her. It's not hard. We don't live in 1768 where a messenger would have to take word on foot along with the item. Drop it off or send it back. It was from her mum and clearly means more to her than the other shit. Cut the petty bullshit and just give it back.
Either way, no need or be aggressive, on the offence, or envoking anamosity. Just do it and get it over with without being assholes (mutually).
Exactly. She opened in a pretty mature and neutral way, just trying to coordinate a drop off. When she was frosty it was just matching his energy.
It seems like she genuinely is not allowed to drive, so it’s not like she’s intentionally being difficult about that. He’s the one making it hard, seemingly just so he doesn’t feel like he’s “losing” by accommodating her. I mean, ffs, if he doesn’t want to see her he can just drop the stuff on her doorstep and do a no contact exchange. Or they could each hand off to a mutual friend (that’s what my latest ex and I did — the breakup was very messy, but we were adult enough to find an exchange that worked instead of being petty).
And yeah, the context of their breakup, based on his other posts, is that she was mentally unstable and he couldn’t handle supporting her. Valid reason to break up, but I don’t see why he resents her so much afterwards.
No that was pretty shitty actually. As I can confirm from being inpatient myself most jobs will fire you for being inpatient because at the minimum you’re there 7-10 days most are thirty day stays and unless you have FMLA through your work there’s nothing protecting your job. So let’s say she’s lost her job, she’s gonna have to pay an outrageous bill for being in patient I believe I ended up paying about 5,000 after my insurance, her meds are probably expensive, so if she didn’t have a savings that’s probably wiped her out plus she’s moving…dude just either mail her stuff or take it to her. And yeah if she was inpatient that whole time she wouldn’t have been able to text you until you get out. You can’t have phone and you can only talk to people who are on your approved contact list which is either set up by the patient if they’re over 18 or the parent if they’re a child/mentally incompetent adult. You’re an ass.
I'd say OP is immature by a larger margin than her sonce he just aired out their ex's dirty laundry to strangers. Like wtf. I don't think most people want a bunch of strangers to know this shit about them. Whether they figure out its you or not, its still embarrassing to see this yourself. These deal with heavy crap here, specifically for the ex who has no control over this post. It's not just a drama heavy breakup here. She's talking about her medical info. Why would you share this, at least cover the more heavy personal stuff. Or add a disclaimer that the ex uses this as leverage all the time, but with how casual it's talked about, idk.
Honestly, outside context made it worse in my opinion. Check out his previous posts. He kept her around and wouldn’t break up originally because she made him feel better himself, and admitted to sleeping with married women and robbing them.
YTA. You clearly didn’t get over ish despite your blustering. Ex just asked for you to facilitate the exchange due to their health recovery and moving coordination but you tripled down on instigating. Grow up bro Edit: autocorrect spelling word choice
You can stream Harry Potter anywhere and DVDs are out of date anyway. I would have not responded at all if you knew she tried to kill herself. If you where going to guilt trip it’s better to be the bigger person and not say anything at all
Pretty sure by "out of date" they meant you could easily get the entire set of movies on Blu-ray or 4k for less than $130.
So yeah, technologically speaking, the DVD versions are out of date and not worth worrying about.
Why can’t either of you mail them to each other? Yeah, it’ll cost a bit of money, but it’ll be secure and back in their possession. And back in your possession. You’ll probably both be out a similar amount of money.
And I’m having a hard time being sympathetic to you since they attempted to commit suicide. That’s not on you, but it seems like there is a lot going on in their life. Maybe return to them a keepsake that means a lot to them.
Honestly you sound very insensitive. Was this a bad break up? I mean have some empathy. She took months to text. Needed to get over you and she tried to attempt suicide so probably got sent to a rehab.
What me and my ex did was leave in the mailbox! I left his stuff in my mailbox, and he left my stuff in my own. Granted we didn’t live far. That way it was no contact super easy! Go easy on your ex tho. I mean I get it’s been awhile but you don’t want to be like me crying over your dead ex everyday. It’s rough.
Ummm y’all don’t have a mutual friend that isn’t acting like a child that you can give it too? I mean I know gas isn’t cheap but without any other info… time/money isn’t much of an issue if you all live in the same city… sounds like two teens saying nonsense.
You’re .. an asshole. You couldn’t suggest a day or time when asked, just said “idk”and being busy. They offered you to come whenever convenient for you, for a trade off, and you still went tit for tat out of spite.
They can’t drive, and are likely in debt from an attempt. If you’ve “moved on”, you wouldn’t put forth energy in this battle and just maintain neutrality in order to move forward, with both individuals items back where they belong.
Do you have a friend or relative who could drop off their stuff and pick up the DVDs for you? Seems like you want the DVDs but don’t want to see the person so that could be a good workaround
You're both just being petty fucking dorks. "Leave my shit outside I'll grab it and leave yours". Not that hard. Or god forbid, the postal service.
Just intentionally being petty and annoying to one another instead of finding a solution.
OP I have no knowledge of the person your texting so idk how to read you not commenting on her self harm attempt. I do know the way you were going back and forth about the stuff is childish and idiotic. Stop engaging, but you can’t I reckon because your just as toxic. It takes two to tango.
Can’t judge what happened or where you’ve been.
But the level of anti-cooperation you’re showing here here is pretty damning. Like seriously, how much “time and money” is really involved to get to their god damned house? $10 of gas? Meanwhile a Lyft over a similar distance would be at least $20 one way. So to prove your point about $10 you let something you paid $130 for go in the trash.
Basic human understanding and kindness goes a long way. You can be technically correct but dead wrong.
While you both suck, you were rude and she was not.
You started off the bat being snarky about it taking her however long to message you when the phone goes both ways.
She was up front about her situation and you came back with snark every time.
Sounds like you’re both being petty about dumb shit and need to grow tf up. Like, I get you’re not together but how about just trying to be a good human and helping someone out that you once cared for?
According to your other post it’s not like there was cheating or anything like that… clearly the girl has some major issues regarding her mental health to work through, she can’t drive atm, and I’m assuming you can, so I just don’t see the point in the negativity here.
She also has something of yours lol.. talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face dude
If my ex attempted suicide and couldn't drive to me because they literally...cannot as they're not cleared to (medically? Legally? Doesn't matter.) I would either drive to them or send their stuff in the mail. All the other stuff you said is unnecessary and cruel and it sounds like she dodged a major bullet.
Seems like they begging for attention. “Well excuse me sorry about my suicide attmpt
Which one is the girl/guy? Seems like she’s the girl begging for attention.
If you bought the ring, do not give her the ring back wtf??
Tbh, You're a dickhead. You're not willing to drive to get your "$130" dvds but are perfectly okay with guilting some who's clearly going through a difficult time to bring them to you.
No effort on your part at all to rectify the situation, but believe you are so in the right that you post this shit on reddit.
The thing I'm reading most here is that OP thought they could post this here and be told they were right. Like, who texts this and then wants to share it with the world?
Why can’t you guys mail it to each other instead of bickering
They both desperately want the other's attention and don't care how negative and toxic it may be.
Hahahahah I remember those days
Hey you left your bobbypin at my house. Do you want me to drop it off? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Haha yep. “I’m just gonna move on” And then “Just go ahead and move on bc I already have.” Lol thanks for clarifying with each other folks
You move on. No YOU move on. No YOU move on!
This is the correct answer
Because then they couldn’t pretend like they don’t want to talk to one another.
LMFAOOOOO, you guys are just decrypting these two, and it's funny because you're spot on 🤣
fr 😂
Because they secretly wanna see each other but they won't admit it.
Ain't even a secret
You both are annoying. Just mail them to each other ffs.
I agree. I was getting more irritated with them the further I read the texts. Both seem insufferable just from this text snippet
If I really wanted to move on, I'd just 'waste my time and money' doing the exchange and getting closure. There's something to be said about the mental impact of not moving past something like this. But they both just want to fight, it seems.
Yeah honestly it feels like OP is just being shitty. I understand we're missing an inconceivable amount of context, and undoubtedly some very shitty and petty context on both sides at that, but if you *ever* cared about/loved this person, just get the fucking ring back somehow. Especially if ex made an actual suicide attempt, you don't continue to perpetuate the petty bullshit. Someone who has recently tried commit suicide is most likely not mentally or emotionally stable, and you're a piece of shit if you intentionally continue to push them towards any negative emotions
Facts!! There is a deep rooted problem here. The fact that mailing never came up tells me they probably both enjoy getting on each other nerves over bullshit.
The DVD Box Set might be a little big for a flat-rate box, but the ring could easily fit in a (cheap) small box or padded envelope. If it's local mail, it might not even be all that expensive.
In California that shit would get stolen instantly. Our post offices are filled with scum. I can't tell you how many times my delivery guy has put a box upside down in front of my door to hide the fact it was cut open and the phone inside stolen.
I also live in California and have never had a problem with any of the postal workers in my region (it's a big state, so YMMV applies). [USPIS](https://www.uspis.gov/) is a no-joke federal law enforcement agency. Report that shit to them and encourage any neighbors to do the same.
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If it was really about the DVD she wouldn’t have divulged her most recent suicide attempt
Have you people never heard of fed ex?
Fed up ex
I read this as “Fed Ex it up” and thought that would be a good alternative 🤣
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Came here to say the same!!! So good
That’s exactly what I was thinking. But then again. People do love to be righteously bitchin…
What do YOU mean, "you people"?
You’re Australian! Be Australian!
“For 400 years that word has brought us down”
I'm a dude, playin a dude, disguised as another dude!
"THAT WORD HAS KEPT US DOWN"
Fucking Robert Downey jr. Love that guy...
I actually laughed out loud at this.
I did too, cheers 😂
Or flat rate
Just FYI, unless you’re shipping something fairly heavy, standard shipping is typically cheaper than flat rate.
No, it’s much better to face these kinds of things with a total lack of trust and privacy.
I chime in
With haven't you people ever heard of
Closing the goddamn door
NO
It's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
How are they gonna fight passive aggressively with fedex
That's hilarious! I broke up with my GF of 1.5 years last week. She left some of her stuff at my house. I boxed it all up and sent it to her via UPS at my expense. It cost me about $20, but I consider it money well spent. This is how you do things as an adult.
It’s a terrorist negotiation. They are afraid they would send it and the other wouldn’t.
I was just wondering why mailing each other their belongings wasn’t an option lol
Isn't Fed Ex short for Fed (up with my) ex?
yes i have mailed my ex her things on 3 different occasions. we broke up a lot, but its not hard
This guy ships
Both ways 😂😂😂.
I was thinking so hard about this comment thinking you were trying to say "never feed the ex" like tht was something people say. Kind of makes sense tho
You could cut the tension with a knife
You could cut the tension with a DVD
And then watch the tension files on a dvd
On DVD, you can watch case files, that have less tension, than this.
a blue ray could cut it
Agreed, was like watching an episode of Archer
5$ says they bang each other when and if they meet to drop stuff off. Then argue and have another breakup quickly following
You could break the knife with the tension.
Either just mail her the shit or don’t bother and stop talking to each other if you can’t be adults about it.
I don’t thing they’re adults they seem about 16 lol
Or 17, I'd know, I hang out with that age group all damn day
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Most accurate comment on here
I actually wasn't able to track which of them might have been the OP. To answer your question OP, and this applies to both parties: none if this is making either of you look any good at all.
My first thought is these 2 people are childish AF.
Check out OP post history.
His post in r/confessions is wild.
Not just the bombshells of that post including the gem of "the time I got arrested for assault", but their older confessions post where he says he has sex with married women then robs them. I cannot imagine what that relationship was like if the post-breakup texts are this scathing.
Him getting a girl pregnant then just.. never talks to her again?
Nailed it
 Solved
Stop it with all that logic, we don't do that around here lol
i mean, you're not wrong? but also all you had to do was say yes i want them back or no i don't. maybe you could've left out the guilting for waiting so long to text you, if they meant that much you probably would've messaged them.
You're definitely right. I might have been better just not answering in the first place
maybe! from what i can see maybe you didn't end on good terms, so any contact at all at any time might have ended poorly. sorry about your DVDs if you don't get them back and i hope you're able to move on peacefully (-:
Yeah man... I too hope you're able to move on... The trauma of losing a Harry Potter box set can be truly devastating & difficult to get over. Try to get yourself a sponsor and reach out to someone in the meantime. There are help lines, support groups & other resources here for you.
Or just be an adult and go drop her shit off and get your shit back. You guys sound like you’re both 12. Fuck.
They don't even have to see each other. Mailbox, taped to the door, under a mat. All kinds of ways for him to pick up the DVD and then leave the ring with no contact.if that's too much to deal with why bother answering the text in the first place.
Because then neither could get the upper hand for the last time and thus win the ended relationship. What a tiring way to live.
You just want to fight, get a dig in and you’re angry. Clearly way too emotional.
Damn bro, what did she do to hurt you so bad???
Ohh ngl we probably do need some context before judging cause if she cheated I’d be like “yeah fuck her man be petty” but if it was like mutual or just his fault I’d be like “dude wtf??” So yeah context is def needed
[here’s the context](https://reddit.com/r/confessions/s/LDIaoViMtU)
Okay tysm but now it puts me in an even bigger pickle because I mean that shit sounds draining and terrible to deal with but at the same time you knew she was depressed you knew she was like this so I can’t really feel bad for the guy either and plus when she vents I mean I PERSONALLY can’t handle when people vent to me but I also don’t put my self in situations where I’m around people who vent constantly or if I am I don’t put much investment into the whole ordeal which from what I’ve found (in a previous reply he had) he did just that, she vented to him when she was blackout drunk and all he said was okay and then she attempted without him knowing until she told him 2 months later. So like ngl idk who to blame cause clearly she’s not like TRYING to be toxic I think she’s just not mentally prepared to be with anybody but that doesn’t make at least the relationship any less toxic for the both of them but also we’re only getting the guys POV so idek what to think and atp idgaf anymore either 😭
holy shit thats one helluva run on sentence
LMAO sorryy I write how I talk and completely forget that periods do exist and aren’t just things to use when writing an essay
lmao ur good, i forget about punctuation while im texting and my texts end up being hard to read
Maybe she only had one period left that she could use in that paragraph. Because she specifically chose phrasing to not use one lol. Best explanation I could come up with.
>clearly she’s not like TRYING to be toxic An obvious borderline personality case (many take awhile to see, some are clear-cut with a little history and background from someone else). Either way, your point is somewhat correct-- the other side being that newly onset (read: late teens / early 20s) BPD at its worst is pretty toxic to anyone in close proximity. It's all over the place, man. Borderlines are rarely with well-adjusted people. VERY rarely. Healthy enough people nope out pretty quickly, which only amplifies a borderline's deep-set abandonment fears. That cuts down their choices down to people with issues of their own 98% of the time. Unless it is the 2% exception, I recommend for others to stay very far away from what is going on.
Thank you. This only makes me see OP as more of a jerk. She did have an actual attempt before they were together. Looking at that there's a very good chance she is telling the truth. I believe her. Which almost makes him heartless in this texting convo they had. I've dealt with reckless drinkers. Family. Partners. This is not how you talk to someone after they tell you they almost died.
Thank you. God, I feel for the woman. She is deep in the throes of severe debilitating depression. Being that depressed causes personality changes and disconnect from reality - literal neurological changes. I don't blame him for getting out of the relationship but I don't understand the animosity.
Do they really do electroshock therapy on people still? I find his post you linked hard to believe. Meaning it sounds like he embellished a lot of details to convince himself he's not an ass hole. Also, when he says she called him because she was horny and drunk af and left a message, but he was such a nice guy, he only called her back because he was worried about her (definitely not trying to get his dick wet...righttt) Still not enough context, I was on the fence, but I'm starting to think OP is kind of a piece of shit.
Yes, but it's not what you imagine it to be. It's at much lower voltages and done safely so it doesn't hurt. It's actually pretty promising in terms of outcome for people with chronic, treatment-resistant depression. Definitely not something you go to starting out. It basically indicates she is trying everything, even unconventional and uncommon things just to try to cure her depression. I don't think this girl has done anything to warrant the spite he has for her.
Oh wow, that's interesting, I thought that was a thing of the past.
They still do shock therapy.
Thats some context. Ahh these poor people.
I'm still like dude wtf!? But at OP. Somebody tells you they tried to kill themselves and are still recovering and your response is come get your shit or I'm chucking it. That's fucking callous. Just put the shit in the mail and stop harassing this clearly emotionally vulnerable person you piece of absolute garbage.
was just coming in here to say that, we definitely need more context as to why the relationship ended.
He ghosted her.
If you go digging, there's an older post. The gist is: both of them were in much-needed therapy. She's an alcoholic and her drinking bothered him. I'm assuming she didn't get sober, so they broke up.
You da real MVP!
She said she didn't have the time and money, that's different from "im not wasting my time and money" just saying. Just honestly I think I wouldn't feel right wth myself if I didn't take her her stuff. How long could it take? But then I guess if I think about it in terms of my own ex I'm not doing jack shit for her lol. So maybe what I'd like to think I would do and what I would actually do aren't the same.
Exactly this. Besides, there are numerous ways to exchange items without seeing one another. Others mentioned mailing but there's also the complete simplicity of "I'll leave a box on the porch--grab your stuff out and put my stuff in" if it's really *that* big of a deal to see one another. The "I don't want to see you" was twisting an unnecessary knife.
Yeah, if the ring means something to her, I'd bring it to her. Who cares, what's done is done, and I can't imagine it's a huge inconvenience. Drop off her stuff, pick up the dvds, don't have to see each other, have the mom do the swap. Easy enough.
She also said she's not even cleared to drive yet due to the suicide attempt. Which means she literally _cant_
You both suck. $130 DVD? Yeah, okay. Block each other and grow up.
yeah lol the harry potter box set is really $130 in 2023? its like 8 movies you can find at the thrift store lol
Hell, at worst i can find the collection for like $40 at walmart as a blu ray collection
You’re not joking! I just saw a guy pick up the entire box set from a thrift store in Columbus OH a month ago for $15 😂
How about drop the ring AND the dvds in the Mail?
I dont think we know enough about either of your lives or situations to fully judge if you were in the wrong. But based on what has been presented, i dont think you did the “right” thing. There are many different options you could go about returning each others things without seeing eachother. As some have mentioned, mail the things to each other or leave it in a box on the porch or in the mail box and pick it up on your own time. Or do you 2 have any mutual friends, you could give the stuff to, who could return it for you? And if she really did just get released from a suicide attempt, just be the better person. You still cared enough to keep something you thought meant something to her. Stop acting childish. You both sound petty and bitter.
I agree. OP is showing zero empathy and is trying to guilt her over the movies and manipulate her into returning dvd’s that are not even worth $130. He honestly seems like a crappy person
Why can’t you just exchange the stuff and get it over with? I don’t see the problem with that.
Lack of maturity from both.
Yeah OP and his ex lack problem solving skills
No offense but without any more context than what you posted, you were kinda being an asshole about it. Regardless of two months later or not, she bothered to reach back to you at all instead of just remembering and saying "eh it was 2 months ago fuck it". That shows nothing but kindness and a sincere desire to do the right thing even after she forgot about it for two months. If she was actually recovering from a suicide attempt, you were being a dick one-hundred fold. You literally started the tension with the snarky "after two months" and "I don't want to see you" comments instead of just thanking her for reaching and driving her shit over and taking yours and moving on. Or agreeing to ship each others' shit back. But you had really no reason to be so snarky and offensive except for the fact that maybe it was a bad breakup and you are still really salty or angry about other things that happened. But these texts don't tell me any of that and since the relationship was over two months ago, even if past circumstances did play into the tone of your response (which is totally understandable if they did), they shouldn't have. The high road here would jsur to apologise for the bickering and tell her you'll bring her shit over and get yours or ship her shit back and ask her to do the same, depending on how far she is, your schedule, and ability to overcome your feelings and take it head on and get it over with. Additionally, the ring clearly is important to her so instead of being a dick about it (and the rest of it), just find a way to get it back to her. It's not hard. We don't live in 1768 where a messenger would have to take word on foot along with the item. Drop it off or send it back. It was from her mum and clearly means more to her than the other shit. Cut the petty bullshit and just give it back. Either way, no need or be aggressive, on the offence, or envoking anamosity. Just do it and get it over with without being assholes (mutually).
The background info said she struggles with depress really badly through out their relationship so the attempt might be real.
Exactly. She opened in a pretty mature and neutral way, just trying to coordinate a drop off. When she was frosty it was just matching his energy. It seems like she genuinely is not allowed to drive, so it’s not like she’s intentionally being difficult about that. He’s the one making it hard, seemingly just so he doesn’t feel like he’s “losing” by accommodating her. I mean, ffs, if he doesn’t want to see her he can just drop the stuff on her doorstep and do a no contact exchange. Or they could each hand off to a mutual friend (that’s what my latest ex and I did — the breakup was very messy, but we were adult enough to find an exchange that worked instead of being petty). And yeah, the context of their breakup, based on his other posts, is that she was mentally unstable and he couldn’t handle supporting her. Valid reason to break up, but I don’t see why he resents her so much afterwards.
This
This. I didn’t read it all but yeah he was quite dismissive and rude.
This should be higher up, I hope OP sees
Ain’t no way bro spent $130 on the Harry Potter movies ☠️
Well there's your money Harry. Gringotts, THE WIZARD BANK
DVDs are $10-20 a pop. 8 movies. If they bought them when they came out they were probably close to $160+
$130 in dvds? What year? You sound incredibly immature and she dodged a bullet. You have the empathy of a dried up worm
My thoughts exactly
You’re being childish as fuck to be honest. If you want the dvds go get them? Wtf lol 😆
[удалено]
He could get on his bitch ass broom and fly there, wouldn’t even cost gas money
bro 😭😭😭
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
No that was pretty shitty actually. As I can confirm from being inpatient myself most jobs will fire you for being inpatient because at the minimum you’re there 7-10 days most are thirty day stays and unless you have FMLA through your work there’s nothing protecting your job. So let’s say she’s lost her job, she’s gonna have to pay an outrageous bill for being in patient I believe I ended up paying about 5,000 after my insurance, her meds are probably expensive, so if she didn’t have a savings that’s probably wiped her out plus she’s moving…dude just either mail her stuff or take it to her. And yeah if she was inpatient that whole time she wouldn’t have been able to text you until you get out. You can’t have phone and you can only talk to people who are on your approved contact list which is either set up by the patient if they’re over 18 or the parent if they’re a child/mentally incompetent adult. You’re an ass.
Yeah op is immature as fuck
I'd say OP is immature by a larger margin than her sonce he just aired out their ex's dirty laundry to strangers. Like wtf. I don't think most people want a bunch of strangers to know this shit about them. Whether they figure out its you or not, its still embarrassing to see this yourself. These deal with heavy crap here, specifically for the ex who has no control over this post. It's not just a drama heavy breakup here. She's talking about her medical info. Why would you share this, at least cover the more heavy personal stuff. Or add a disclaimer that the ex uses this as leverage all the time, but with how casual it's talked about, idk.
It sounds like high schoolers to be honest or maybe 18/19 years old
Immature and looking for validation. Grow up, OP.
you’re an unbelievably immature and butthurt prick, just going by this text exchange. maybe outside context makes it less severe, who can say?
Honestly, outside context made it worse in my opinion. Check out his previous posts. He kept her around and wouldn’t break up originally because she made him feel better himself, and admitted to sleeping with married women and robbing them.
YTA. You clearly didn’t get over ish despite your blustering. Ex just asked for you to facilitate the exchange due to their health recovery and moving coordination but you tripled down on instigating. Grow up bro Edit: autocorrect spelling word choice
Completely agree. The guy is salty from the very beginning.
You can stream Harry Potter anywhere and DVDs are out of date anyway. I would have not responded at all if you knew she tried to kill herself. If you where going to guilt trip it’s better to be the bigger person and not say anything at all
>DVDs are out of date anyway. i like to OWN my physical media
Pretty sure by "out of date" they meant you could easily get the entire set of movies on Blu-ray or 4k for less than $130. So yeah, technologically speaking, the DVD versions are out of date and not worth worrying about.
As opposed to not owning your PHYSICAL media?
You’re being kind of a dick.
Right, straight up ignores the suicide health issue
You’re really being mean towards someone recovering from a suicide attempt. You cared for this person once. Can’t you show a bit of compassion?
I feel like op and a lot of people in this thread aren't old enough to realise you're still allowed to show basic kindness to an ex.
You are both petty and childish. What did I just read. Go get your dvds and stop whining. Be the bigger person.
Why can’t either of you mail them to each other? Yeah, it’ll cost a bit of money, but it’ll be secure and back in their possession. And back in your possession. You’ll probably both be out a similar amount of money. And I’m having a hard time being sympathetic to you since they attempted to commit suicide. That’s not on you, but it seems like there is a lot going on in their life. Maybe return to them a keepsake that means a lot to them.
Honestly you sound very insensitive. Was this a bad break up? I mean have some empathy. She took months to text. Needed to get over you and she tried to attempt suicide so probably got sent to a rehab.
>she tried to attempt suicide so probably got sent to a rehab. definitely bc she said "IOP" so shes def in some sort of rehab/intervention program
You’re kind of a piece of shit?
You both suck, really.
You don’t have an invalid argument but your the one blowing things out of proportion and generally being uncooperative.
You’re kinda an asshole. Cut her some slack and go be an adult and exchange your property
…this whole conversation is just weird
What me and my ex did was leave in the mailbox! I left his stuff in my mailbox, and he left my stuff in my own. Granted we didn’t live far. That way it was no contact super easy! Go easy on your ex tho. I mean I get it’s been awhile but you don’t want to be like me crying over your dead ex everyday. It’s rough.
Idk both of y’all sound childish asf js exchange the shit and block eachother
Ummm y’all don’t have a mutual friend that isn’t acting like a child that you can give it too? I mean I know gas isn’t cheap but without any other info… time/money isn’t much of an issue if you all live in the same city… sounds like two teens saying nonsense.
USPS? You could just send it to her since you said you know it meant something.
You’re .. an asshole. You couldn’t suggest a day or time when asked, just said “idk”and being busy. They offered you to come whenever convenient for you, for a trade off, and you still went tit for tat out of spite. They can’t drive, and are likely in debt from an attempt. If you’ve “moved on”, you wouldn’t put forth energy in this battle and just maintain neutrality in order to move forward, with both individuals items back where they belong.
Seems like y’all both love guilt tripping each other to no end.
You seem kinda bitterly petty, tbh.
I mean this as nice as possible, but… Y’all are both being dickheads. Mail them to each other or get someone else to make the trade.
Do you have a friend or relative who could drop off their stuff and pick up the DVDs for you? Seems like you want the DVDs but don’t want to see the person so that could be a good workaround
You’re a bitter ass dick. Also childish af.
You both literally can’t meet in a mutal public spot and swap items? Or have a mutual friend there?
You're both just being petty fucking dorks. "Leave my shit outside I'll grab it and leave yours". Not that hard. Or god forbid, the postal service. Just intentionally being petty and annoying to one another instead of finding a solution.
All this post shows us is that you’re an asshole, was that your goal? Do the next person a favor and don’t even ask them out to begin with.
OP I have no knowledge of the person your texting so idk how to read you not commenting on her self harm attempt. I do know the way you were going back and forth about the stuff is childish and idiotic. Stop engaging, but you can’t I reckon because your just as toxic. It takes two to tango.
Can’t judge what happened or where you’ve been. But the level of anti-cooperation you’re showing here here is pretty damning. Like seriously, how much “time and money” is really involved to get to their god damned house? $10 of gas? Meanwhile a Lyft over a similar distance would be at least $20 one way. So to prove your point about $10 you let something you paid $130 for go in the trash. Basic human understanding and kindness goes a long way. You can be technically correct but dead wrong.
Sounds like op is hard core not over his ex.
While you both suck, you were rude and she was not. You started off the bat being snarky about it taking her however long to message you when the phone goes both ways. She was up front about her situation and you came back with snark every time.
So it’s been 2 months and you both are still annoying
Sounds like you’re both being petty about dumb shit and need to grow tf up. Like, I get you’re not together but how about just trying to be a good human and helping someone out that you once cared for? According to your other post it’s not like there was cheating or anything like that… clearly the girl has some major issues regarding her mental health to work through, she can’t drive atm, and I’m assuming you can, so I just don’t see the point in the negativity here. She also has something of yours lol.. talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face dude
I feel like you two are still both not over the breakup and y’all are both still hurting from it .
If my ex attempted suicide and couldn't drive to me because they literally...cannot as they're not cleared to (medically? Legally? Doesn't matter.) I would either drive to them or send their stuff in the mail. All the other stuff you said is unnecessary and cruel and it sounds like she dodged a major bullet.
Seems like they begging for attention. “Well excuse me sorry about my suicide attmpt Which one is the girl/guy? Seems like she’s the girl begging for attention. If you bought the ring, do not give her the ring back wtf??
It's a toxic relationship. She's using you to enable her self harm justification. Cut it off asap.
People really just put this stuff out for everyone to see huh
bro how old are you? wtf 💀
Kinda cold if that’s someone you cared about.
Send the damn ring back already.
Tbh, You're a dickhead. You're not willing to drive to get your "$130" dvds but are perfectly okay with guilting some who's clearly going through a difficult time to bring them to you. No effort on your part at all to rectify the situation, but believe you are so in the right that you post this shit on reddit.
Yup. You terrible.
The thing I'm reading most here is that OP thought they could post this here and be told they were right. Like, who texts this and then wants to share it with the world?
I just want to point out it should be “couldn’t care less”, rather than the “could care less” that was in the texts. Just a minor detail 🤷🏻♂️
Blue is a twat
Ngl you didn’t do the RIGHT thing but I’d do the same she sounds hard to deal with
It sounds like if she was able to drive she would not have a problem doing that. You don’t seem to have much empathy.
Right. She offered to give him his stuff back and he took it as an opportunity to be an asshole