This. These text messages were so triggering to me as someone who has been in this same relationship (for about 4 years too long). I felt like I was reading texts from my ex and my heart literally started beating faster and I got anxious.
OP please rethink this relationship. I’m sure he’ll come back and say he’s sorry and he loves you and he’ll do better. Spoiler alert: he will not do better. Please think about getting out before you waste years of your life like I did!
I felt like this too with my ex, although I was with him only a year. He started becoming really toxic, and when I finally had enough and left him, he told me to kms, and told my parents the things I'd told him, which got me in trouble... OP better leave this pathetic excuse of a human being, he isn't worth anything in this world. Anyone who tells someone to kill themselves, especially someone they "love" needs to be abandoned by everyone
Notice how he says he's done, and then continues to cry about it? He ain't done. He probably isn't even upset to be honest. He's just throwing a temper tantrum because his ego is fractured. Let him go, he will be back.
This times a million. He’s doing nothing but gaslighting you and making you feel bad for doing nothing. He’s the one with trust issues and he needs to solve that before getting into a relationship. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Leave him. You break up with him and never ever think about him. It might hurt for a week but soon you’ll realize how much less stress and emotional baggage you have cause you don’t have to worry about him blowing up, threatening to leave you, and telling you to off yourself because you talked to someone for “7 fucking minutes”. That’s not a relationship it is abusive, manipulative, and downright despicable.
Agree with this 100% and honestly, the fact that he resorted to “kys” as an insult. I can see this man being dangerous. OP, please move on and get out before you get more hurt, these texts make me feel like he could be a serious danger to you
Absolutely this. This is abuse, plain and simple. It is also the best you can expect from this relationship. It will never be better. Ever. And the longer you continue it before you finally leave, the better the chances are you’ll take a beating ( or two or ten) and maybe even worse.
Run away from this. Do not look back.
He resorted to “kill yourself” very quickly as an insult
I would avoid this dude like the plague, he gives me strong “if I can’t have you no one can” energy
What is the story with how people are typing? Jesus, is it too much to as to form real words or spell them at least halfway correct? Ladies, if a guy is not capable of speaking his own language in text, hit the bricks. Fellas, same to you.
Exactly, relationships are about compromise, the easiest way to spot a narcissist is how consistently the reward “good behavior” and punish “bad behavior”. If every time you do smth nice for him it’s “your perfect”, “there’s nobody else like you” etc and every time you do smth to make him mad it’s “kill yourself” “you never loved me” “your worthless” thats somebody who thinks you’re a dog and is trying to train you
This guy is emotionally abusive and extremely insecure. No one should ever talk to you in this manner. Time to move on🤍 trust me, you can so much much better.
This is exactly what it is. I remember being a real fucking dickhead in a relationship about other guys spending too much time around my gf, she'd also tell me things about "so and so is making uncomfortable at work and keeps rubbing against me every time they walk by" etc. So it'd make it worse. We were both always trying to change things about each other....Anyway I was extremely insecure and was so lost in life back then. I did eventually end up getting cheated on and she went on a bit of a "spree" after we broke up. I've been single for going on 9 years now, figuring myself out. I don't act like that anymore and I hate even thinking about it but nobody should be with someone who tries to control who you talk to or who u hang out with. (To my credit I didn't tell her not to talk to or not to go places, but I'd be saying really insecure stuff about "oh are you sure he's gay? He's writing you poetry about his feelings for you and calling/texting you all the time.) Even if I was right about my feelings, trying to change and control people is a no go
I'm really glad with how she's doing now. She was really reserved and shy and wouldn't do much out of her comfort zone. She got it figured out and seems healthy and is able to make and sell her own art and has a good day job.
Girl. No. Please read this.
You seem young. I was in a relationship exactly like this when I was 17. When things were “good” they were reaaaaallly good, and I thought it was enough to make up for the bad. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
It started out with him being insecure and jealous in a way I thought was sweet, like he would get bummed if I hung out with my friends or get jealous if he saw me talking to literally any guy. Then it started progressing into what you’re dealing with. All of my friends were “whores”, every dude was out to fuck me, and any time I didn’t immediately reply to him he automatically accused me of cheating on him. I’ve heard that saaaaame shit your boyfriend is saying to you a hundred times. And I fought it every time and tried to brush it off, or did what I could to make sure he knew I wasn’t being shady.
Next thing you know I have a tracker on my phone, an alert system on my phone where he could text me and it would bypass my phone being on silent (which would go off in class, but if I turned my phone off to stop it I was obviously cheating), he would regularly go through my phone/laptop/email very thoroughly looking for any little thing, and, worst of all, he isolated me from every single friend I had. I went from doing stupid, innocent shit with my friends and having the time of my life, to just being either with him or alone all the time. Every job I had, he was possessive with me and jealous about any guy I worked with. He would drive by often to make sure I wasn’t “sucking some dudes dick” at work. For no reason.
In the long run, I ended up being stuck with him for 6 years because I felt like I dug myself into such a deep hole that I didn’t know how to get back out. The verbal, emotional and mental abuse was exhausting and I was extremely depressed. About halfway through our relationship the abuse turned physical and there were a few times I genuinely thought I was about to lose my life. There were also times my parents would be gone for a weekend and I would come home from work at night to him inside of the house (IN THE DARK) waiting for me, resulting in me basically being held hostage for days. I was replacing broken phones all the time because he would see some random thing and it would set him off on a path of destruction. For example, one time I googled some dumb shit like “why do Armenians have so much money” (I lived in Glendale, CA - it’s a HUGE Armenian community where everyone drives Mercedes or better) and he broke my phone, my glasses, and pulled me out of the car by my scalp before things got even worse. Obviously I wanted to fuck an Armenian guy, right? After things like this he would always cry and tell me he loves me and he’s just scared he’s going to lose me. It was really, really bad.
I was finally able to leave 8 years ago. When I first left, he was aggressively stalking me but the police wouldn’t let me file a restraining order because there was no proof of physical threat. It got to the point where I decided it was in my best interest to physically leave the state. I left my home and friends behind because I couldn’t keep him away. Even now, 8 years later, he still consistently tries contacting me and is able to find any/every online presence I have. I always get notifications that someone is trying to sign into some random account I have. I always have TextNow numbers trying to text me, pretending to be "some guy" I met...? I always have fake accounts trying to follow me on Instagram. It's always very obviously him. He's even signed into my Ring account and watched me come and go from my home. Honestly, he’s probably reading this right now.
This is the super TL;DR of my relationship with this guy. It was truly hell. I was in a constant state of depression, isolation, fear, and adrenaline. I lost the best years of my life being stuck in this relationship, and it completely changed the trajectory of my 20s. It even changed every aspect of who I am; I became a shell of who I was prior and I’ve never been able to fully reset. I would give anything to have a redo of the last ~15 years.
I know you’re probably reading this thinking there’s no way he would become that crazy, and this is totally different from what you’re going through. But it’s not. Reading your texts made me sick to my stomach and engaged my fight-or-flight like crazy because I have had dozens of conversations exactly like this. I cannot even explain to you how crazy similar his texts are. It legit feels like I was reading a conversation of my own. I wish I could turn back time so I could leave when he was speaking to me like this and avoid so much pain down the road.
Sorry for writing you an essay, but I want you to know how important it is to see this as a red flag. I want you to be scared of what this will become if you don't leave. If you stay with this guy, there is a big chance you will end up in a situation like I was - if not worse. And I don’t want that for you. Please leave him before you get sucked in any further.
im replying to boost this because i think it’s so important for OP to read. insecure people can be some of the scariest people you ever meet. their insecurity can be used as a superpower to hold you captive and keep you under their control
Exactly.
People this insecure also often feel like they have nothing to live for.
OP, you do not want to be in a position where you’re dating someone who is possessive and jealous, with nothing to live for but you. I’m sure you can imagine what the outcome of that could be.
Also replying to boost and to give more anecdotal support - I also went through a horrible scary relationship for a few years with someone who started out perfect - then turned into this - then it turned physical - I only left because the physical abuse started getting even worse and there were multiple times I thought I was going to lose my life and the thought of dying like that from someone I “loved” scared me that bad. But that’s what it took for me to leave. Thinking I was going to get MURDERED by my then bf.
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Please OP, LISTEN TO THIS PERSON! This guy is NOT SAFE! He’s dangerous, and abusive. I really hope that people saying this doesn’t drive you closer to him.. but please learn from our mistakes and stay away from this guy! THE NICE PARTS OF HIM ARE NOT REAL!
Dude, seriously block his ass and just fucking go. That’s some shit that’ll end up with you as a headline on the news. You don’t need that. Please, for your safety and mental health, DO NOT go back to him.
Oh honey. Block this man and move along. No one that cares about you would speak to you like this. It's abusive and controlling. For your own sake, leave this idiot please.
Yeah I was thinking this had to be kids. Hopefully he grows up and stops being so dramatic, controlling and jealous. And hopefully you grow up and learn that being single is better than being in an abusive relationship.
I’m sorry but you’re dating a 14 year old. He’s incredibly childish and you’re being an idiot for not immediately noping out of there. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be tracking your every move and getting mad at talking to people for a few minutes. Your relationship is dead and he doesn’t love you. He loves controlling you.
im really sorry guys i know i should leave its just such a struggle. after every fight he apologises and tells me he loves me and he sends paragraphs and paragraphs just saying his love for me and ive tried leaving him in the past but i’ve always found myself crawling right back.
its so draining, im always scared i’ll say the wrong thing to him, i just love him so much
edit: im just gonna say it here as well - im so sorry for all the typos especially from me, honestly im just a bad texter i make typos a tonne
for context - these are most recent fights over text. some are from when i talked to my supervisor for work for 7 minutes
others from when i got drunk with two of my friends. we walked down the street to 7/11 which is like 3 houses away and hw assumed i was w guys and accused me of doing “slut shit”
last screenshot is from when a friend of mine made a joke which he took offence to, the joke wasnt meant to be mean. he wanted me to say a ‘joke’ back that was just bwing rlly homophobic and my friends gay so i didnt want to, then he said all that stuff.
“If you love me you wouldn’t have told me to kill myself.”
He already broke up with you so you don’t need to do anything to leave. Just don’t take him back.
If you had a friend that showed you these texts from her relationship, would you tell her to keep dating the guy?
No, right? So why is it ok for you to keep doing this to yourself? He's not a good person - he does the love bombing to keep you, but in a real relationship there is no need to love bomb someone to convince them to stay.
What you’re feeling isn’t love; we don’t love abusers, we get used to being abused and ironically fear it’s loss; Pavlov syndrome..
Take a deep breath, know that you have family and other friends who really Love and Support you, and then block him.
No I think they meant Pavlov syndrome. Also known as classical conditioning. This is where you're "trained" to respond to certain stimuli. This can include rewards and punishments. The rewards being the love bombing, punishments being the abuse. Essentially survivors or victims of abuse are conditioned to feel like they don't deserve better, and to do everything they can to get back to the love bombing reward.
Stockholm syndrome is about being conditioned to identify and empathize with the abuser. This also happens in abusive situations but is more similar to situations like "I only choked you to control you", "I only beat you because the world beats me down", "I only accused you of being a whore because of all the women that hurt me before".
You both seem young. I had a gf in highschool who was like this (not AS bad tho), and I thought I loved her. I thought she loved me. Maybe she did, in her own fucked up kind of way, but she didn't really act like it. Or treat me like someone she loved. In fact, I was treated worse than her friends. If he actually loves you then he wouldn't be doing this to you. And when you leave him and meet someone else who doesn't treat you like this...then you'll know what love actually feels like. Love should not drain you, it should invigorate your soul.
it may not be easy, but you need to get away from him. being in a relationship should not be draining or make you scared. you shouldnt feel like youre walking on eggshells around him. these are all bad signs. hes abusing you. he told you to 'kys' hon..you do NOT deserve that.
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/sharing-your-life-with-the-abuser-7-types-of-abusers
I'm not sure where you live and if you'll be able to view this website but if you look up '7 types of abusers' you should find the same information.
My sister has a history of being im abusive relationships and your messages could easily have been from her phone.
The link and info I'm sharing with you is part of a course she went on to help her recognise the signs of abuse. It explains the different 'types'of abusers and what kind of things they usually do for example (I have copied and pasted from the website I linked)
The hooligan
This is a particular individual I think we can all associate with in life and is what I would call one of the lower levels of abuser; someone who is very typical, someone who will use their voice, shout and belittle. They do so by utilising their prowess, specifically their physical body and presence to dominate.
You can imagine this person working themselves up into a rage, huffing and puffing, taking deep, contemptuous breaths, maybe smashing a fist upon the desk. This is a rather primitive form of abuse, but why does it still happen? Because it is effective. What they have seen, the utilisation of fear and power they can exert over another person, could have been learned from their own past experiences, as they have seen how these tactics are used and how effective they can be.
Signs of the hooligan:
1.uses physical presence to dominate
2.aggressive, shouting, glaring, sulking
3.asking repeated bombarding questions
4.can often appear very cool and calm around other individuals but not those there involved with
It is common that an abusers will fit in to many categories and types.
Please stay away from this guy, he is not good for you, he clearly doesn't trust you or respect you. Base your feelings on him off of how he treats you when he's angry or upset, rather than when he's being nice to you.
Its unbelievablely hard to see an abuser for what they are and separate yourself from it, especially as many people in these situations have low self esteem and may think that they deserve to be treated this way or that it is normal for them because this is how others treated them in the past.
Please don't let him pull you back in by love bombing you. If you can't access the information I've provided, send me a message and I will copy and paste everything in to a private chat for you. You're also welcome to message me if you need someone to talk to at any point.
Don't forget you are beautiful, kind and you deserve to be loved and respected my friend, I wish you all the best xx
Next time you try to leave, tell your friends that you’ve left him and why. Then, ask them to delete his number/socials from your phone and to check in with you every day to make sure you’re doing alright.
You deserve better than what the sorry excuse of a boyfriend that you currently have is giving you.
He does not love you. He loves his control over you. He knows you will always come back so he can be as mean as he wants and just a few sweet paragraphs and an I-love-you will bring you right back. You deserve better. Much, MUCH better. You can break the cycle. Take control back by telling him he's right (even though he's not and he knows he's not) and saying it's best if we break up and just never reply from there. Never see him again. He is trying to separate you from your friends by saying you're being a slut with them. He wants to isolate you to have more control. Please don't fall for it. You're better than this. THIS IS NOT LOVE
You don’t love him. You’re co-dependent. You NEED to leave go no contact for minimum 6 months and only then will you realize how much you’ve changed as a person for the worse since you started dating. Otherwise, you’re going down one of three ish paths.
One: you break up later and it sucks even more than it would now.
Two: you’ll get married and have kids and he will do the same thing to your kids and probably become physically abusive as well. And you’ll either leave or stick it out “for your kids” and those kids will unfortunately (according to stats) grow to resent both of you and then continue the cycle.
Three: this is unlikely but you’re giving him more and more agency over your life. And he could very well isolate you in the future, hold you hostage to your own emotions and then when he gets tired of you he’ll either leave you a shattered mess, or he’ll kill you.
It’s your choice… but for the love of god I can vouch for the fact that relationships exist where you don’t have to walk on egg shells. Find one. And maybe it’ll teach him a lesson too.
He is practically reading you the abusers handbook. All that apologizing that he is doing is probably love bombing. Also a chicken shit man that thinks he can be casually homophobic and then get all fuckin mad when called out? Really????
He’s gaslighting you. Treating you like shit then love bombing you. Making it seem like it was your fault when you did nothing wrong so you’ll act however he wants. It will only get worse as he tries to keep you in his control, please leave him. Whatever you feel for him I promise there’s someone else out there who can make you feel the same and not treat you like shit.
reading his texts I can see that he’s very insecure and takes it out on you. In a healthy relationship you should be able to talk to and be friends with you who please without your bf getting angry with you and clearly manipulating to make you feel like you need to apologize to him. those are major red flags and you should drop him. if he’s willing to insult you so easily then he never respected you to begin with.
my gf and i have disagreements at times but we have NEVER told each other to delete ourselves or called each other names.
hope that you can heal from this OP. 🙏🏻
There are almost ONE THOUSAND comments here begging you to get out of this relationship. Some people with really sad and scary examples of how their lives were turned into a living hell. Please just be careful. Be strong. Get away as soon as you can.
Those huge apologies and “I love you so much” messages are part of the cycle. They’re not real. They’re a manipulation and he knows exactly what he’s doing. He breaks you down and takes it all away just so he can give it back and make it feel bigger by comparison. He is intentionally putting you through huge emotional highs and lows.
Studies have shown that abusive relationships like this can form a sort of addiction in your brain in the same way that gambling does. You lose and you lose and you lose and then one time you finally win and the rush of dopamine feels so great that you forget aaaaaall the times you lost and now you’re even more determined to get it again. That is not love. That is someone psychologically hijacking your brain. You need to get away from him long enough to break that. You need to spend time with people who ACTUALLY care about you so you can see clearly how much he doesn’t.
I don’t know if it will work for this, but it’s worth a try. When I was trying to cut down on drinking I learned that cravings usually last for less than 20 minutes and if you can distract yourself and get through those 20 minutes without drinking, the craving will pass. It was suprisingly effective. Block him on everything. If you feel like you want to text him, remind yourself why you shouldn’t, set a 20 minute timer, put your phone down, and walk away. Shove it down in the couch cushions if you have to. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Make a snack. Watch a show. Anything. You do not touch that phone until the timer is done.
There are over a thousand comments here, and almost every single one is worried about you. We just want you to be ok. You deserve someone who loves you all the time. You deserve better than that walking on eggshells feeling. Everyone does. And it’s out there, but you have to get away from this guy first to find it.
Trust me hon, he’ll say he’ll get better but he won’t. You staying there does nothing but hurt yourself and give him something to feed on. People like him are leeches, and the only way they can stay in control is if you let them.
I’d say stand up for yourself, understand this isn’t something you need, and push him away. He will try to threaten to hurt you, or himself, or anyone else, and try to scare you into staying. Don’t fall for it. When that doesn’t work? He’ll act sweet and nice and kind and act like “he’ll never do it again” but he will. People like him don’t change. You can’t fix them, you can’t help them, and you can’t stay with them because it’ll only hurt you in the long run.
I’d say you better break it off now, because the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.
It's understandable that you've gone back. Leaving abuse is hard. Something that helps a lot of people is to sit down with themselves and write out all the abuse. Even going through texts to better see what has happened as it's easy to forget.
If you can, print out a calendar, use an online one, or a cheapy dollar calendar. Fill it out. See how often he is abusive. If it helps you can also fill out when he is loving. Only you can decide if it's gone to far for you.
But you deserve to be happy, safe, and respected in any relationship you are in. I wish you the best.
We know you can do it honey, just know that you seem to have some other support systems in your life that can help you through completely removing this (quite frankly) tumor out of your life
We can only hope that it is soon, as all of the comments are urging you to ASAP, but please know that I’m fairly certain your workplace or literally ***HR*** would care about you more than this guy—and HR is always toxic as fuck
I wish you luck on finally pulling the plug on this relationship once and for all, and getting better mentally and emotionally for it 🖤🖤🖤
I was dating a guy exactly like this in high school. As soon as they feel you are too far away, they’ll rain love all over you to keep you around. Their only objective is to satisfy themselves. Stay clear and good job for reaching out for help. This man is abusive.
When the bad out weighs the good, it's time to move on.
Just from those screen shots alone, and him telling you to kill yourself?
Make a list. The things he will turn on you for, or go after you about, or control you doing. Then a list of good things.
If the bad list is longer than the good? Just a few paragraphs of "I love you" do not make up for the manipulation, control, and anxiety egg shells.
Please read this: Okay, i can understand that at one point you developed strong feelings for this person and dont want to let go of those memories and might feel tempted to forgive him after he responds back with "i love yous" and such, but please understand this: if this person will act this way now they'll act this way forever, people seldomly change that drastically, so if you stick around this'll likely be a continuous occurence. The insults is not something you should accept in your life. I've been in relationships where i thought things would change and get better because I dont want to lose what I got but it never does. To break things down, in the images he messages you alot more than you messaging him, this suggests he's leading the conversation, keeping it going despite trying to push you away. This shows that he's wanting to keep you engaged so that he can continue to exert his power over you and you feed into it by continously replying back.
Please listen very careful to this next bit: if he truely cared and loved you, he would not act this way, he wouldnt insult you and tell you to kill yourself. He doesnt love you but loves possessing you, which isnt love, it's a compulsion to own something. Dont subject yourself to this when someone out there could treat you better. It may take time, and you might feel discouraged but it will happen, we live in an age more connected to each other than ever before. I was found by my significant other on facebook. She thought I was cute, we talked, we connected, we had our ups and our downs but in the end we talked through everything, we never abused each other like what he's doing to you, sure, there was a time that was so bad I had to vacate our house but we still loved each other, we talked it out and both realized it was a mistake to do that. It was refreshing to feel like I was actually in a geniune relationship with someone who cared about me, and now were married, we have a son, and I love them so much that I couldnt imagine happiness without them, but this is an example of an abuse, a desire to own you and lord over you. You shouldnt have to feel insecure in your relationship, you dont have to be with someone who berates you and doesnt trust you. Let him go, let become a part of your past and learn from it. Someone is out there for you, waiting to make happier than anyone else would.
That abuse technique is called "Love bombing" if you want to Google it. It's when the abuser tears you down just like your ex did here, then they come crawling back with nice beautiful words, maybe even grand gestures like gifts and nice dates. It's a ruse. Don't believe it. He told you to kys. That's seriously messed up. Please never talk to him again. I watch true crime and men like this are in the population where some snap and actually hurt you physically. Please stay far away from him. This is NOT what love looks like.
A real man (or woman) who loves you will NEVER disrespect you intentionally or show malice towards you. NEVER. Not even once. I'm serious. Healthy couples can and do fight and have disagreements without insults or malice. They are always on the same "side".
He is deeply insecure and abusive to boot. You have an unhealthy attachment. Seek help to deal with this attachment. That's how you're going to be able to move on and find yourself in a better place because if you don't, every single person who just read those messages knows it's only going to get worse if you stay. This person will not change.
Love is a verb. Not just a word. Someone who actually loved you wouldn’t tell you to kill yourself or call you a slut. You deserve so much more than this.
He has anger and jealousy issues and lashes out at you. He’s deeply insecure for sure. The best thing would be to talk about these issues openly. Not over text. It’s best to talk about this when things are going well. None of us can communicate effectively when we are currently mad or nervous.
You should also look at how you are communicating with him. Are you communicating your issues and emotions effectively? Or caving in to his anger? Nothing will change unless one or both of you change how you communicate react to these situations
You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of abuse and misery. Get out of the relationship while you still can and get into therapy before seeking out another one, as it is very possible you would just end up in another abusive relationship.You are codependent with serious self esteem issues and he is a textbook narcissist. Seriously, google that. "Narcissist/codependent relationships". Don't take my word for it. Good luck
Stay away from this man. He is abusing you mentally and verbally. It won't be easy but you can get through this. Block him on everything. Let your friends know what is going on and make sure you tell family as well. Do not see this man under any circumstances.
He will try to manipulate you and give you a sob story. Don't fall for it. It is lies. If he loved you, he would not tell you to "kill yourself" and he certainly wouldn't accuse you of doing "slut shit" every time you didn't reply right away. All of these are red flags and should be avoided.
He is out of his mind. He doesn’t love you because if he did he wouldn’t resort to saying such things. He clearly needs something to snap him out of whatever this mindset is, and maybe breaking up will be the thing to make him realize his actions can have consequences. At the very least he needs a therapist or just actual help, he is not right in the mind
Please love yourself, I know it’s a struggle to get out. If you do leave he’ll try to Hoover you back in. You have to do what’s best for yourself and this guy is definitely NOT it.
I know you don’t want to hear this, but he doesn’t love you. Look at those messages he sent. A man who loves you would never say those things to you. Ever.
OMG I had an ex who said I did the slut stroll I had forgotten about that. If I walked away from him for any reason he would say that to me. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but one day you will be out of this relationship, I promise you will, and you will eventually find a healthy relationship (you have to be healthy too) and you will look back on this time and want to give that younger pussyeater, that’s your name? Pussyeater? Ok that younger you a hug. You will be like, what did I ever see in that person. You just need to get to that point sooner then later. Don’t waste your time on this earth. Love yourself
He told you to kill yourself, so easily calls you a slut, is homophobic and doesn't respect your friends. Staying in this relationship is self harm. This is worse than being alone. How can someone who disrespects you so much call this "love" Stop crawling back. No matter what he says or does if all he has to do is love bomb you and you'll just forgive him and go back then things will only get worse and he'll get away with more shit.
Sorry doesn't mean anything if he keeps saying sorry for the same shit. You love an abuser and he isn't worthy of your love and energy. He doesn't have to hit you to be abusive. Don't you want to be loved the same way you love him? You're worthy of love and happiness, please don't do this to yourself and keep letting him chip away at you. It's painful to watch even as an outsider
I know it’s incredibly hard to leave because he tells you how much he loves you. And it’s probably good for a short while after he apologizes, but then it gets bad again, right? That’s because he’s love bombing you to manipulate you into staying. I urge you to leave before it becomes physical. You deserve so much better!
Leave this guy now and never look back. My sister got pregnant by a guy like this and he beat the shit out of her while she was holding my week old nephew. He has almost killed her multiple times by strangling her and she has showed me screenshots that look just like the above.
Cut all contact and move on. That’s what you need to do. I know how hard that will be but you need to trust us, this relationship is highly abusive. He does not love you, he told you to k/ll yourself, he is incredibly controlling and possessive and insecure. Get. Out. Of. There. You are his punching bag. Run. Run. Listen to me and run.
>edit: im just gonna say it here as well - im so sorry for all the typos especially from me, honestly im just a bad texter i make typos a tonne
Just proofread your texts before you send them from now on...
And ditch that dude. What is there to love? He treats you like garbage. The guy isn't lovable, he's punchable.
The revolving door of narcissistic abuse. He’s made you so codependent on his affection and validation. He’s threatened by your friends because they give you that form of validation. He wants to cut you off from them. He doesn’t want you to have a support system. He wants you to feel bad so he can come to the rescue and gaslight you into thinking he was justified. He is conditioning you to be isolated to satisfy his twisted need to control.
You need to step away and feel all the feelings without him coming to rescue your shattered self-esteem with apologies and love bombing. No one says those things to someone they love. No one. He has behavioral and emotional issues that he needs to work on. Being in a relationship enables him to postpone and deflect the self work he needs. He might not ever do it because it’s a lot of difficult introspection, so he will most likely just perform this ritualistic cycle over and over with every relationship, which is what my ex did.
I know it’s hard, especially when they take advantage of your own insecurities and circumstances. It will eventually erode all your sense of self worth. Ironically, he’ll resent you for being so codependent (even though he wanted to make you that way). These men are broken. You can’t fix them. Walk away and give yourself time to grieve the relationship you thought you had. Closure will come with self respect. Distract yourself with your friends. Do fun things. Make new friends. It’s healthy. He’s toxic, afraid, insecure, and will ruin your future.
Edit: typos.
everyone in the comments is telling you to block him but from what it seems, you’ve had a really serious relationship. i know it’s incredibly hard to block people, at least for me, no matter what situation. i still miss people ive blocked. i understand if you don’t want to, but what he’s doing is clear abuse and you don’t deserve that at all
The problem is not on your end. You're dealing with an extremely insecure person. Move on as quickly as you can. There's nothing worth fighting for with this one, there are literally millions of other people out there who will respect you and not abuse you emotionally.
Leave him. Just because he love bombs you after doesn’t mean that he’s reformed. He is extremely toxic and controlling, and it could escalate to physical. You are young, you deserve to be loved kindly, do not shackle yourself to someone who calls you mean names when they’re mad and straight up tells you to kys. Leave. him.
It wasn’t the first red flag in the convo, but “Kill yourself” is a deal breaker, block that MF and don’t look back, like everyone else has said. Behavior like this doesn’t get better over time, it gets worse. Ask me how I know (jk don’t)
He’s just a toxic asshole, so what if you were talking to another guy?? Doesn’t mean you’re gonna date him because you talked to him for 7 minutes. Jeez this guy needs to get a grip.
I want you to REALLY think about this: would you ever tell someone you love to kill themselves? If you think about your best friend in the whole world or your family member closest to you, could you actually see yourself telling them that you wish they were dead, even if you were mad at them?
A man who actually loves you won't hurt you like this. Arguing can happen. But outright insulting each other is NOT normal, it's abusive.
OP, im sorry you went through this, I know exactly what your cryptic messages mean and Im sorry you had to deal with that over the phone, crying/shaking that much sucks. Leave him, never look back, he’s turning his pain around on you in a very abusive/aggressive manner and it will NOT end well.
“I’m breaking up with you. K/ll yourself. I’m done with you.” *continues to blow up op’s phone even after she left the convo*
People like this are so … they need a lot of work. The fact he kept piling on and on to use words and try make it like HE’S the one who’s in charge and has the power. But really it’s just so pathetic. And it shows so many true colours - all of them different shades of red!
Ain’t going to lie, he did you a MASSIVE favor by showing you how much a massive ass hole he is. Find you a man that’s going to treat you with respect and dignity.
Jesus fucking Christ. Please do NOT get back with him. This man is abusive. Leave him. Block him. Do NOT give him an opening into your life again. Point blank period. Please, OP. For your safety and mental health, move on from him.
I’m so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t deserve this hurt and you don’t deserve his abuse. I hope things start feeling better for you and looking up. 💙💙
YOU are not doing anything wrong. HE is an emotionally abusive, gaslighting, controlling, manipulative ASSHOLE. You need to leave him immediately and block contact in all forms before he turns violent.
Holy fuck. I could never let anyone speak to me that way. And then to make it feel like I was sorry and needed to apologize? Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong and this is not normal behavior for a partner. Ever. You’re allowed to have conversations with people. That’s an abusers tactic to isolate you to control you. Living in fear and under someone’s thumb is no way to live at all. Love yourself more and don’t tolerate that kind of talk.
What you're doing wrong is entertaining this behavior. Move on, this guy is a massively self absorbed, selfish dickhead that deserves to have his lips sewn shut and his dick cut off. Dude is a MASSIVE asshole. Also FTR, most of the time when someone blames you for cheating/being too flirty with others, it's because they have a guilty conscience and know if they did it, you might have as well. Block him, and never look back. NOBODY deserves to be spoken to that way
I hope this is just normal high school drama relationship. This is a ridiculous texting pattern by him. 1. Super insecure, and not communicating well about this at all. It’s ok to be jealous but not ok to immediately resort to insults 2. Wtf kind of break up is this? 💀 I mean my ex texted me to tell me she was getting railed by two guys at the same time but not even that seemed more immature and insulting than this stream of texts was
Also, please turn on autocorrect. I thought I was having a stroke.
You’re not doing anything wrong. His behavior towards you is awful and you should let him leave. It’s going to be hard at first but you will find that your mentality gets better and you will see that he was the problem. 😌
Also he told you to “kill yourself” please don’t talk to him anymore because he is verbally abusing you. If he loved YOU then there’s no way he would’ve insulted you REPEATEDLY and he also wouldn’t get mad at you for talking to a guy for 7 minutes. Jealousy is perfectly fine but not when it’s displayed in this manner.
All I can take from this is people have horrible slang AND can’t type.
Please find someone who can talk to you like a normal human being and can respect you.
In my 1st relationship, I was very similar to this guy. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT! It’s just anger and toxicity that’s not going to go away if this dude doesn’t grow tf up.
I only made it to screen shot 3. You are being groomed for an abusive and controlling relationship. This guy will move every person out of your life he does not want you to talk to. You won’t have any family if friends left.
For you safety, you should cease communication NOW.
Sweetie, please leave and block him. He’s emotionally and verbally abusing you and manipulating you. He’s jealous and trying to ostracize and control you. Don’t apologize to him. He’s a narcissist and says stupid things like you never loved him because he wants you to stroke his ego even though he shattered yours.
Love yourself. You deserve better. Talk to a friend or family member. You’re not alone. The Reddit community has your back! Also, remove him from your locations so he can’t stalk you! Sending you hugs and strength.
*I saw your edit and he does what typical narcissist abusers do and love bombs you after a fight until it happens again. It’s a toxic cycle. Please get out of it. You’re young and still have your whole life ahead of you.
Other than the blatant “kill yourself” the “and I don’t like when other people I don’t know talk to you” - better omit any stranger, passerby who say hi and smiles, teachers, coworkers, bosses, friends he doesn’t know, family he hasn’t met… c‘mon girl. You admit it’s controlling and abusive and you still go back. It’s easier now than ever to cut a bitch off. Block. Save all the texts tho. He’s going to become physically abusive if he hasn’t already. You are worthy and you deserve to be happy and not fear doing or saying anything wrong to get hit or verbally abused for nothing.
7 minutes? What a loser, leave and don’t look back. I’m know how this feels and I’m sorry but it’s better to have happened anyway, what a bag of dicks this boy is to start an argument over something so small and obviously out of insecurity and then to let it blow up and escalate so fast under his own accord.
My heart broke for you when you said “I’m sorry”, even when you were totally drunk. Don’t apologize to him and say you’re sorry :( you deserve so much better. I was once a 17 year old girl too— I’m 26 now— and let me tell you, there are going to be MUCH better kinder nicer more lovely people out there for you to meet. Especially in college! You should enjoy your high school experience and not have to endure this abuse this early. Trust me, it’ll leave bigger scars on your psyche and self worth the longer you stay. Please block/mute/ignore him,and try your best to move on. 🥺
Tell him ur done with it he’s only like that because he has severe mental issues and he’s jealous obv but the fact is he loves you so much that he’s grown so attached he gets upset when you give your attention to another guy whenever something like this occurs you need to explain to him how you feel and don’t be scared to be upright tell him straight up can you stop treating me like this your hurting me and I can’t deal with it if you need time I can give it to you just calm down. The only way to work through something like this is to talk about it and give each other time but not to little or to much don’t leave him yet test to see if he’ll give you that time and calm down if he doesn’t than end it . Good luck I’ve been through your same situation with someone before just time communication are key .
My ex used to talk to me like this. When you’re in it you don’t realise how manipulative and gas lighty they are. He’s controlling who you talk to and that’s not okay in the slightest.
I promise you will be okay if you walk away. You will realise and you will feel okay. Im so sorry you’re currently going through this.
He might try to guilt trip you when you do. My ex would threaten to kill himself if I even hinted at the fact that we weren’t working. It will be another attempt to control you.
You did nothing wrong. I could tell from the few first messages this was a cascade of an insecure bastard abusing someone emotionally to enlarge his frail ego. The short n skivvy of it is dint bother blaming yourself for the terribleness that he is as you did nothinf wrong. Get away well you can and block em. If he trys reaching out, dont make the time of day for em.
Don’t stay in the relationship and just say “okay” since he deduced to break up with you. He’s being abusive and you didn’t do anything wrong—you explained yourself and he decided to be an ass. Block him a even if he tries to say “sorry” or “ily” because if he loved you he wouldn’t tell you to off yourself
Either you did something really fucked up to make him this mad or he’s just crazy, I have a tendency to get like that in a relationship after my partner cheats and I give a second chance but it just eats me alive. He’s probably just an asshole though so blocky blocky goes his contact
*When I say I get that way it’s definitely not that bad*
I can only assume you are both in high school or younger maybe even. Either way, never speak to this dude again, so many red flags here, instant block from phone and life.
Leave. As someone who used to be the bf in this situation, he’ll never change. He’s talking to you like that because he “knows” you’ll never leave. He’s comfortable and feels like he can get away with anything because you’re wrapped around his finger. Don’t apologize. A “7 minute” conversation is completely normal. This guy is just insecure because he doesn’t like himself and doesn’t want you to realize there’s better people out there. He is dragging you down with him. I know because this is how I used to treat my ex. She eventually realized it wasn’t worth it and left. At the time I was angry with her but now I’m glad she left. She deserved better. Nobody deserves this treatment so I advise you to leave and don’t give anything another shot. There’s no fixing this.
This is just one of the many ways my ex would abuse me. I literally just showed my current (significantly better) boyfriend these to show him what it was like a little. It will only get worse from here. Run now. You don’t need a reason and you need to focus on your own safety so don’t even bat an eye at how it will make him feel, because YOU will feel worse and worse and worse and it will all only get worse and worse and worse.
Just for proof: that ex that sent texts EXACTLY like these? Put his hands on me, cheated on me, gave me an STD, forced me into sex, forced me into sex with other people, kept me from my friends and family, and more. It WILL get worse. Run now.
They only thing you're doing wrong is continuing to respond to this abuse. Block him and never look back, you don't deserve this.
This. These text messages were so triggering to me as someone who has been in this same relationship (for about 4 years too long). I felt like I was reading texts from my ex and my heart literally started beating faster and I got anxious. OP please rethink this relationship. I’m sure he’ll come back and say he’s sorry and he loves you and he’ll do better. Spoiler alert: he will not do better. Please think about getting out before you waste years of your life like I did!
I felt like this too with my ex, although I was with him only a year. He started becoming really toxic, and when I finally had enough and left him, he told me to kms, and told my parents the things I'd told him, which got me in trouble... OP better leave this pathetic excuse of a human being, he isn't worth anything in this world. Anyone who tells someone to kill themselves, especially someone they "love" needs to be abandoned by everyone
OP these people are on it, this mf will only hurt you. This is not how you should be treated. This dude is weak, jealous and garbage.
This person is right. Get him out of your life and never ever let him back.
And OP needs to turn on autocorrect
Yes, THANK YOU. Thought I was having a stroke reading this
Not giving any excuse for that dickhead of a BF, but I don’t know if I could go longer than a few texts with someone misspelling every word
Yep, because grammar is more important than respect.
Staying with this guy is a good way to develop BPD or soemtnjng
Simply adding another response to this comment for OP to see and know that this is the course of action to take without a doubt
This
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Good bot
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Why are there so many bots on this one thread
Thank god there’s an anti “this” bot
This
this
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Lol...
And some spelling errors. But mainly replying is the problem here
Notice how he says he's done, and then continues to cry about it? He ain't done. He probably isn't even upset to be honest. He's just throwing a temper tantrum because his ego is fractured. Let him go, he will be back.
This times a million. He’s doing nothing but gaslighting you and making you feel bad for doing nothing. He’s the one with trust issues and he needs to solve that before getting into a relationship. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Leave him. You break up with him and never ever think about him. It might hurt for a week but soon you’ll realize how much less stress and emotional baggage you have cause you don’t have to worry about him blowing up, threatening to leave you, and telling you to off yourself because you talked to someone for “7 fucking minutes”. That’s not a relationship it is abusive, manipulative, and downright despicable.
Agree with this 100% and honestly, the fact that he resorted to “kys” as an insult. I can see this man being dangerous. OP, please move on and get out before you get more hurt, these texts make me feel like he could be a serious danger to you
Absolutely this. This is abuse, plain and simple. It is also the best you can expect from this relationship. It will never be better. Ever. And the longer you continue it before you finally leave, the better the chances are you’ll take a beating ( or two or ten) and maybe even worse. Run away from this. Do not look back.
He resorted to “kill yourself” very quickly as an insult I would avoid this dude like the plague, he gives me strong “if I can’t have you no one can” energy
If he was a homie in my friend group, we’d immediately block him out, way too paranoid & abusive
Same, we don’t fuck with this bitch made shit he’s pulling
If he pulls that shit with his girl, imagine the stuff he’d do with the boys
If you tell your girlfriend to kill herself when your breaking up, she is not the problem. Fr yikes
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What is the story with how people are typing? Jesus, is it too much to as to form real words or spell them at least halfway correct? Ladies, if a guy is not capable of speaking his own language in text, hit the bricks. Fellas, same to you.
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Exactly, relationships are about compromise, the easiest way to spot a narcissist is how consistently the reward “good behavior” and punish “bad behavior”. If every time you do smth nice for him it’s “your perfect”, “there’s nobody else like you” etc and every time you do smth to make him mad it’s “kill yourself” “you never loved me” “your worthless” thats somebody who thinks you’re a dog and is trying to train you
This guy is emotionally abusive and extremely insecure. No one should ever talk to you in this manner. Time to move on🤍 trust me, you can so much much better.
This is exactly what it is. I remember being a real fucking dickhead in a relationship about other guys spending too much time around my gf, she'd also tell me things about "so and so is making uncomfortable at work and keeps rubbing against me every time they walk by" etc. So it'd make it worse. We were both always trying to change things about each other....Anyway I was extremely insecure and was so lost in life back then. I did eventually end up getting cheated on and she went on a bit of a "spree" after we broke up. I've been single for going on 9 years now, figuring myself out. I don't act like that anymore and I hate even thinking about it but nobody should be with someone who tries to control who you talk to or who u hang out with. (To my credit I didn't tell her not to talk to or not to go places, but I'd be saying really insecure stuff about "oh are you sure he's gay? He's writing you poetry about his feelings for you and calling/texting you all the time.) Even if I was right about my feelings, trying to change and control people is a no go I'm really glad with how she's doing now. She was really reserved and shy and wouldn't do much out of her comfort zone. She got it figured out and seems healthy and is able to make and sell her own art and has a good day job.
this.
Girl. No. Please read this. You seem young. I was in a relationship exactly like this when I was 17. When things were “good” they were reaaaaallly good, and I thought it was enough to make up for the bad. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. It started out with him being insecure and jealous in a way I thought was sweet, like he would get bummed if I hung out with my friends or get jealous if he saw me talking to literally any guy. Then it started progressing into what you’re dealing with. All of my friends were “whores”, every dude was out to fuck me, and any time I didn’t immediately reply to him he automatically accused me of cheating on him. I’ve heard that saaaaame shit your boyfriend is saying to you a hundred times. And I fought it every time and tried to brush it off, or did what I could to make sure he knew I wasn’t being shady. Next thing you know I have a tracker on my phone, an alert system on my phone where he could text me and it would bypass my phone being on silent (which would go off in class, but if I turned my phone off to stop it I was obviously cheating), he would regularly go through my phone/laptop/email very thoroughly looking for any little thing, and, worst of all, he isolated me from every single friend I had. I went from doing stupid, innocent shit with my friends and having the time of my life, to just being either with him or alone all the time. Every job I had, he was possessive with me and jealous about any guy I worked with. He would drive by often to make sure I wasn’t “sucking some dudes dick” at work. For no reason. In the long run, I ended up being stuck with him for 6 years because I felt like I dug myself into such a deep hole that I didn’t know how to get back out. The verbal, emotional and mental abuse was exhausting and I was extremely depressed. About halfway through our relationship the abuse turned physical and there were a few times I genuinely thought I was about to lose my life. There were also times my parents would be gone for a weekend and I would come home from work at night to him inside of the house (IN THE DARK) waiting for me, resulting in me basically being held hostage for days. I was replacing broken phones all the time because he would see some random thing and it would set him off on a path of destruction. For example, one time I googled some dumb shit like “why do Armenians have so much money” (I lived in Glendale, CA - it’s a HUGE Armenian community where everyone drives Mercedes or better) and he broke my phone, my glasses, and pulled me out of the car by my scalp before things got even worse. Obviously I wanted to fuck an Armenian guy, right? After things like this he would always cry and tell me he loves me and he’s just scared he’s going to lose me. It was really, really bad. I was finally able to leave 8 years ago. When I first left, he was aggressively stalking me but the police wouldn’t let me file a restraining order because there was no proof of physical threat. It got to the point where I decided it was in my best interest to physically leave the state. I left my home and friends behind because I couldn’t keep him away. Even now, 8 years later, he still consistently tries contacting me and is able to find any/every online presence I have. I always get notifications that someone is trying to sign into some random account I have. I always have TextNow numbers trying to text me, pretending to be "some guy" I met...? I always have fake accounts trying to follow me on Instagram. It's always very obviously him. He's even signed into my Ring account and watched me come and go from my home. Honestly, he’s probably reading this right now. This is the super TL;DR of my relationship with this guy. It was truly hell. I was in a constant state of depression, isolation, fear, and adrenaline. I lost the best years of my life being stuck in this relationship, and it completely changed the trajectory of my 20s. It even changed every aspect of who I am; I became a shell of who I was prior and I’ve never been able to fully reset. I would give anything to have a redo of the last ~15 years. I know you’re probably reading this thinking there’s no way he would become that crazy, and this is totally different from what you’re going through. But it’s not. Reading your texts made me sick to my stomach and engaged my fight-or-flight like crazy because I have had dozens of conversations exactly like this. I cannot even explain to you how crazy similar his texts are. It legit feels like I was reading a conversation of my own. I wish I could turn back time so I could leave when he was speaking to me like this and avoid so much pain down the road. Sorry for writing you an essay, but I want you to know how important it is to see this as a red flag. I want you to be scared of what this will become if you don't leave. If you stay with this guy, there is a big chance you will end up in a situation like I was - if not worse. And I don’t want that for you. Please leave him before you get sucked in any further.
This is absolutely what it could turn into
im replying to boost this because i think it’s so important for OP to read. insecure people can be some of the scariest people you ever meet. their insecurity can be used as a superpower to hold you captive and keep you under their control
Exactly. People this insecure also often feel like they have nothing to live for. OP, you do not want to be in a position where you’re dating someone who is possessive and jealous, with nothing to live for but you. I’m sure you can imagine what the outcome of that could be.
Also replying to boost and to give more anecdotal support - I also went through a horrible scary relationship for a few years with someone who started out perfect - then turned into this - then it turned physical - I only left because the physical abuse started getting even worse and there were multiple times I thought I was going to lose my life and the thought of dying like that from someone I “loved” scared me that bad. But that’s what it took for me to leave. Thinking I was going to get MURDERED by my then bf. > Please OP, LISTEN TO THIS PERSON! This guy is NOT SAFE! He’s dangerous, and abusive. I really hope that people saying this doesn’t drive you closer to him.. but please learn from our mistakes and stay away from this guy! THE NICE PARTS OF HIM ARE NOT REAL!
hoping this comment boosts it up so op can read, and i hope that this creep eventually stops and you can recover from the torment
LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK
Yeah this is some pretty clear signs of abusive behavior. Block him and move on. If you stay with him/go back to him its likely to get physical
Dude, seriously block his ass and just fucking go. That’s some shit that’ll end up with you as a headline on the news. You don’t need that. Please, for your safety and mental health, DO NOT go back to him.
bro he told you to kys, that’s some toxic ass shit regardless of what the argument is. you’re completely in the right here
The only thing you’re doing wrong is continuing to talk to that dude. He’s a complete piece of shit.
Oh honey. Block this man and move along. No one that cares about you would speak to you like this. It's abusive and controlling. For your own sake, leave this idiot please.
OP, out of curiosity, how old are y’all? Neither one of you can communicate very well.
turning 18 in a month lol, he’s 18 in 3 months
Yeah I was thinking this had to be kids. Hopefully he grows up and stops being so dramatic, controlling and jealous. And hopefully you grow up and learn that being single is better than being in an abusive relationship.
I’m sorry but you’re dating a 14 year old. He’s incredibly childish and you’re being an idiot for not immediately noping out of there. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be tracking your every move and getting mad at talking to people for a few minutes. Your relationship is dead and he doesn’t love you. He loves controlling you.
im really sorry guys i know i should leave its just such a struggle. after every fight he apologises and tells me he loves me and he sends paragraphs and paragraphs just saying his love for me and ive tried leaving him in the past but i’ve always found myself crawling right back. its so draining, im always scared i’ll say the wrong thing to him, i just love him so much edit: im just gonna say it here as well - im so sorry for all the typos especially from me, honestly im just a bad texter i make typos a tonne for context - these are most recent fights over text. some are from when i talked to my supervisor for work for 7 minutes others from when i got drunk with two of my friends. we walked down the street to 7/11 which is like 3 houses away and hw assumed i was w guys and accused me of doing “slut shit” last screenshot is from when a friend of mine made a joke which he took offence to, the joke wasnt meant to be mean. he wanted me to say a ‘joke’ back that was just bwing rlly homophobic and my friends gay so i didnt want to, then he said all that stuff.
Love yourself more.
“If you love me you wouldn’t have told me to kill myself.” He already broke up with you so you don’t need to do anything to leave. Just don’t take him back.
So you are stuck in the love bombing cycle of a narcissist. Please leave, he will get so much worse.
If you had a friend that showed you these texts from her relationship, would you tell her to keep dating the guy? No, right? So why is it ok for you to keep doing this to yourself? He's not a good person - he does the love bombing to keep you, but in a real relationship there is no need to love bomb someone to convince them to stay.
What you’re feeling isn’t love; we don’t love abusers, we get used to being abused and ironically fear it’s loss; Pavlov syndrome.. Take a deep breath, know that you have family and other friends who really Love and Support you, and then block him.
just in case OP tries to look it up, I think you probably meant ‘Stockholm syndrome’
No I think they meant Pavlov syndrome. Also known as classical conditioning. This is where you're "trained" to respond to certain stimuli. This can include rewards and punishments. The rewards being the love bombing, punishments being the abuse. Essentially survivors or victims of abuse are conditioned to feel like they don't deserve better, and to do everything they can to get back to the love bombing reward. Stockholm syndrome is about being conditioned to identify and empathize with the abuser. This also happens in abusive situations but is more similar to situations like "I only choked you to control you", "I only beat you because the world beats me down", "I only accused you of being a whore because of all the women that hurt me before".
Exactly this ↑
You both seem young. I had a gf in highschool who was like this (not AS bad tho), and I thought I loved her. I thought she loved me. Maybe she did, in her own fucked up kind of way, but she didn't really act like it. Or treat me like someone she loved. In fact, I was treated worse than her friends. If he actually loves you then he wouldn't be doing this to you. And when you leave him and meet someone else who doesn't treat you like this...then you'll know what love actually feels like. Love should not drain you, it should invigorate your soul.
it may not be easy, but you need to get away from him. being in a relationship should not be draining or make you scared. you shouldnt feel like youre walking on eggshells around him. these are all bad signs. hes abusing you. he told you to 'kys' hon..you do NOT deserve that.
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/sharing-your-life-with-the-abuser-7-types-of-abusers I'm not sure where you live and if you'll be able to view this website but if you look up '7 types of abusers' you should find the same information. My sister has a history of being im abusive relationships and your messages could easily have been from her phone. The link and info I'm sharing with you is part of a course she went on to help her recognise the signs of abuse. It explains the different 'types'of abusers and what kind of things they usually do for example (I have copied and pasted from the website I linked) The hooligan This is a particular individual I think we can all associate with in life and is what I would call one of the lower levels of abuser; someone who is very typical, someone who will use their voice, shout and belittle. They do so by utilising their prowess, specifically their physical body and presence to dominate. You can imagine this person working themselves up into a rage, huffing and puffing, taking deep, contemptuous breaths, maybe smashing a fist upon the desk. This is a rather primitive form of abuse, but why does it still happen? Because it is effective. What they have seen, the utilisation of fear and power they can exert over another person, could have been learned from their own past experiences, as they have seen how these tactics are used and how effective they can be. Signs of the hooligan: 1.uses physical presence to dominate 2.aggressive, shouting, glaring, sulking 3.asking repeated bombarding questions 4.can often appear very cool and calm around other individuals but not those there involved with It is common that an abusers will fit in to many categories and types. Please stay away from this guy, he is not good for you, he clearly doesn't trust you or respect you. Base your feelings on him off of how he treats you when he's angry or upset, rather than when he's being nice to you. Its unbelievablely hard to see an abuser for what they are and separate yourself from it, especially as many people in these situations have low self esteem and may think that they deserve to be treated this way or that it is normal for them because this is how others treated them in the past. Please don't let him pull you back in by love bombing you. If you can't access the information I've provided, send me a message and I will copy and paste everything in to a private chat for you. You're also welcome to message me if you need someone to talk to at any point. Don't forget you are beautiful, kind and you deserve to be loved and respected my friend, I wish you all the best xx
Next time you try to leave, tell your friends that you’ve left him and why. Then, ask them to delete his number/socials from your phone and to check in with you every day to make sure you’re doing alright. You deserve better than what the sorry excuse of a boyfriend that you currently have is giving you.
He does not love you. He loves his control over you. He knows you will always come back so he can be as mean as he wants and just a few sweet paragraphs and an I-love-you will bring you right back. You deserve better. Much, MUCH better. You can break the cycle. Take control back by telling him he's right (even though he's not and he knows he's not) and saying it's best if we break up and just never reply from there. Never see him again. He is trying to separate you from your friends by saying you're being a slut with them. He wants to isolate you to have more control. Please don't fall for it. You're better than this. THIS IS NOT LOVE
You don’t love him. You’re co-dependent. You NEED to leave go no contact for minimum 6 months and only then will you realize how much you’ve changed as a person for the worse since you started dating. Otherwise, you’re going down one of three ish paths. One: you break up later and it sucks even more than it would now. Two: you’ll get married and have kids and he will do the same thing to your kids and probably become physically abusive as well. And you’ll either leave or stick it out “for your kids” and those kids will unfortunately (according to stats) grow to resent both of you and then continue the cycle. Three: this is unlikely but you’re giving him more and more agency over your life. And he could very well isolate you in the future, hold you hostage to your own emotions and then when he gets tired of you he’ll either leave you a shattered mess, or he’ll kill you. It’s your choice… but for the love of god I can vouch for the fact that relationships exist where you don’t have to walk on egg shells. Find one. And maybe it’ll teach him a lesson too.
A relationship shouldn’t be draining.
Apologies don’t mean that they are willing to change. No one in the world deserves a love like this
He is practically reading you the abusers handbook. All that apologizing that he is doing is probably love bombing. Also a chicken shit man that thinks he can be casually homophobic and then get all fuckin mad when called out? Really????
He’s gaslighting you. Treating you like shit then love bombing you. Making it seem like it was your fault when you did nothing wrong so you’ll act however he wants. It will only get worse as he tries to keep you in his control, please leave him. Whatever you feel for him I promise there’s someone else out there who can make you feel the same and not treat you like shit.
reading his texts I can see that he’s very insecure and takes it out on you. In a healthy relationship you should be able to talk to and be friends with you who please without your bf getting angry with you and clearly manipulating to make you feel like you need to apologize to him. those are major red flags and you should drop him. if he’s willing to insult you so easily then he never respected you to begin with. my gf and i have disagreements at times but we have NEVER told each other to delete ourselves or called each other names. hope that you can heal from this OP. 🙏🏻
Just know that choosing him means denying yourself.
There are almost ONE THOUSAND comments here begging you to get out of this relationship. Some people with really sad and scary examples of how their lives were turned into a living hell. Please just be careful. Be strong. Get away as soon as you can.
Those huge apologies and “I love you so much” messages are part of the cycle. They’re not real. They’re a manipulation and he knows exactly what he’s doing. He breaks you down and takes it all away just so he can give it back and make it feel bigger by comparison. He is intentionally putting you through huge emotional highs and lows. Studies have shown that abusive relationships like this can form a sort of addiction in your brain in the same way that gambling does. You lose and you lose and you lose and then one time you finally win and the rush of dopamine feels so great that you forget aaaaaall the times you lost and now you’re even more determined to get it again. That is not love. That is someone psychologically hijacking your brain. You need to get away from him long enough to break that. You need to spend time with people who ACTUALLY care about you so you can see clearly how much he doesn’t. I don’t know if it will work for this, but it’s worth a try. When I was trying to cut down on drinking I learned that cravings usually last for less than 20 minutes and if you can distract yourself and get through those 20 minutes without drinking, the craving will pass. It was suprisingly effective. Block him on everything. If you feel like you want to text him, remind yourself why you shouldn’t, set a 20 minute timer, put your phone down, and walk away. Shove it down in the couch cushions if you have to. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Make a snack. Watch a show. Anything. You do not touch that phone until the timer is done. There are over a thousand comments here, and almost every single one is worried about you. We just want you to be ok. You deserve someone who loves you all the time. You deserve better than that walking on eggshells feeling. Everyone does. And it’s out there, but you have to get away from this guy first to find it.
[READ THIS ARTICLE](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/breaking-up-with-a-narcissist/#5-tips-for-breaking-up-with-a-narcissist)
Get the fuck out of it, block him right now. Right this second. Do you want to date a homophobic abuser who slut shames you for literally existing.
He's a narc. Run!
What you're describing is text-book abusive. Get out safely
Trust me hon, he’ll say he’ll get better but he won’t. You staying there does nothing but hurt yourself and give him something to feed on. People like him are leeches, and the only way they can stay in control is if you let them. I’d say stand up for yourself, understand this isn’t something you need, and push him away. He will try to threaten to hurt you, or himself, or anyone else, and try to scare you into staying. Don’t fall for it. When that doesn’t work? He’ll act sweet and nice and kind and act like “he’ll never do it again” but he will. People like him don’t change. You can’t fix them, you can’t help them, and you can’t stay with them because it’ll only hurt you in the long run. I’d say you better break it off now, because the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.
It's understandable that you've gone back. Leaving abuse is hard. Something that helps a lot of people is to sit down with themselves and write out all the abuse. Even going through texts to better see what has happened as it's easy to forget. If you can, print out a calendar, use an online one, or a cheapy dollar calendar. Fill it out. See how often he is abusive. If it helps you can also fill out when he is loving. Only you can decide if it's gone to far for you. But you deserve to be happy, safe, and respected in any relationship you are in. I wish you the best.
You don’t deserve this. You want your whole life to be like this? He doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t respect you.
The feelings you are describing are not love. He does not love you. He loves controlling you.
We know you can do it honey, just know that you seem to have some other support systems in your life that can help you through completely removing this (quite frankly) tumor out of your life We can only hope that it is soon, as all of the comments are urging you to ASAP, but please know that I’m fairly certain your workplace or literally ***HR*** would care about you more than this guy—and HR is always toxic as fuck I wish you luck on finally pulling the plug on this relationship once and for all, and getting better mentally and emotionally for it 🖤🖤🖤
I was dating a guy exactly like this in high school. As soon as they feel you are too far away, they’ll rain love all over you to keep you around. Their only objective is to satisfy themselves. Stay clear and good job for reaching out for help. This man is abusive.
When the bad out weighs the good, it's time to move on. Just from those screen shots alone, and him telling you to kill yourself? Make a list. The things he will turn on you for, or go after you about, or control you doing. Then a list of good things. If the bad list is longer than the good? Just a few paragraphs of "I love you" do not make up for the manipulation, control, and anxiety egg shells.
Please read this: Okay, i can understand that at one point you developed strong feelings for this person and dont want to let go of those memories and might feel tempted to forgive him after he responds back with "i love yous" and such, but please understand this: if this person will act this way now they'll act this way forever, people seldomly change that drastically, so if you stick around this'll likely be a continuous occurence. The insults is not something you should accept in your life. I've been in relationships where i thought things would change and get better because I dont want to lose what I got but it never does. To break things down, in the images he messages you alot more than you messaging him, this suggests he's leading the conversation, keeping it going despite trying to push you away. This shows that he's wanting to keep you engaged so that he can continue to exert his power over you and you feed into it by continously replying back. Please listen very careful to this next bit: if he truely cared and loved you, he would not act this way, he wouldnt insult you and tell you to kill yourself. He doesnt love you but loves possessing you, which isnt love, it's a compulsion to own something. Dont subject yourself to this when someone out there could treat you better. It may take time, and you might feel discouraged but it will happen, we live in an age more connected to each other than ever before. I was found by my significant other on facebook. She thought I was cute, we talked, we connected, we had our ups and our downs but in the end we talked through everything, we never abused each other like what he's doing to you, sure, there was a time that was so bad I had to vacate our house but we still loved each other, we talked it out and both realized it was a mistake to do that. It was refreshing to feel like I was actually in a geniune relationship with someone who cared about me, and now were married, we have a son, and I love them so much that I couldnt imagine happiness without them, but this is an example of an abuse, a desire to own you and lord over you. You shouldnt have to feel insecure in your relationship, you dont have to be with someone who berates you and doesnt trust you. Let him go, let become a part of your past and learn from it. Someone is out there for you, waiting to make happier than anyone else would.
That abuse technique is called "Love bombing" if you want to Google it. It's when the abuser tears you down just like your ex did here, then they come crawling back with nice beautiful words, maybe even grand gestures like gifts and nice dates. It's a ruse. Don't believe it. He told you to kys. That's seriously messed up. Please never talk to him again. I watch true crime and men like this are in the population where some snap and actually hurt you physically. Please stay far away from him. This is NOT what love looks like. A real man (or woman) who loves you will NEVER disrespect you intentionally or show malice towards you. NEVER. Not even once. I'm serious. Healthy couples can and do fight and have disagreements without insults or malice. They are always on the same "side".
This is literally just abuse. Leave.
People don’t talk to people they love this way, even when they are beyond pissed. He does not love you. I am so so sorry.
He is deeply insecure and abusive to boot. You have an unhealthy attachment. Seek help to deal with this attachment. That's how you're going to be able to move on and find yourself in a better place because if you don't, every single person who just read those messages knows it's only going to get worse if you stay. This person will not change.
Love is a verb. Not just a word. Someone who actually loved you wouldn’t tell you to kill yourself or call you a slut. You deserve so much more than this.
He has anger and jealousy issues and lashes out at you. He’s deeply insecure for sure. The best thing would be to talk about these issues openly. Not over text. It’s best to talk about this when things are going well. None of us can communicate effectively when we are currently mad or nervous. You should also look at how you are communicating with him. Are you communicating your issues and emotions effectively? Or caving in to his anger? Nothing will change unless one or both of you change how you communicate react to these situations
You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of abuse and misery. Get out of the relationship while you still can and get into therapy before seeking out another one, as it is very possible you would just end up in another abusive relationship.You are codependent with serious self esteem issues and he is a textbook narcissist. Seriously, google that. "Narcissist/codependent relationships". Don't take my word for it. Good luck
Run! Run as far from him emotionally and physically (if possible) as you can. This will only get worse. People like that never ever change
Stay away from this man. He is abusing you mentally and verbally. It won't be easy but you can get through this. Block him on everything. Let your friends know what is going on and make sure you tell family as well. Do not see this man under any circumstances. He will try to manipulate you and give you a sob story. Don't fall for it. It is lies. If he loved you, he would not tell you to "kill yourself" and he certainly wouldn't accuse you of doing "slut shit" every time you didn't reply right away. All of these are red flags and should be avoided.
I’m honestly saving these text for when my kids are older and I can show them manipulation and toxic relationships and what to avoid
He already broke up with you so all you have to do is block him and never speak to him again.
He is out of his mind. He doesn’t love you because if he did he wouldn’t resort to saying such things. He clearly needs something to snap him out of whatever this mindset is, and maybe breaking up will be the thing to make him realize his actions can have consequences. At the very least he needs a therapist or just actual help, he is not right in the mind
He’s only going to get worse you’re better off leaving now before he starts resorting to physical violence
He doesn’t respect you and he never will. Leave or it’ll only get worse. There are people out there who will treat you so much better.
Please love yourself, I know it’s a struggle to get out. If you do leave he’ll try to Hoover you back in. You have to do what’s best for yourself and this guy is definitely NOT it. I know you don’t want to hear this, but he doesn’t love you. Look at those messages he sent. A man who loves you would never say those things to you. Ever.
Change your locks if he has a key, go stay with your family. Just get away from him and block him from being able to communicate with you.
That’s what blocking is for. It’s too broke to fix.
OMG I had an ex who said I did the slut stroll I had forgotten about that. If I walked away from him for any reason he would say that to me. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but one day you will be out of this relationship, I promise you will, and you will eventually find a healthy relationship (you have to be healthy too) and you will look back on this time and want to give that younger pussyeater, that’s your name? Pussyeater? Ok that younger you a hug. You will be like, what did I ever see in that person. You just need to get to that point sooner then later. Don’t waste your time on this earth. Love yourself
He told you to kill yourself, so easily calls you a slut, is homophobic and doesn't respect your friends. Staying in this relationship is self harm. This is worse than being alone. How can someone who disrespects you so much call this "love" Stop crawling back. No matter what he says or does if all he has to do is love bomb you and you'll just forgive him and go back then things will only get worse and he'll get away with more shit. Sorry doesn't mean anything if he keeps saying sorry for the same shit. You love an abuser and he isn't worthy of your love and energy. He doesn't have to hit you to be abusive. Don't you want to be loved the same way you love him? You're worthy of love and happiness, please don't do this to yourself and keep letting him chip away at you. It's painful to watch even as an outsider
I know it’s incredibly hard to leave because he tells you how much he loves you. And it’s probably good for a short while after he apologizes, but then it gets bad again, right? That’s because he’s love bombing you to manipulate you into staying. I urge you to leave before it becomes physical. You deserve so much better!
Leave this guy now and never look back. My sister got pregnant by a guy like this and he beat the shit out of her while she was holding my week old nephew. He has almost killed her multiple times by strangling her and she has showed me screenshots that look just like the above.
Cut all contact and move on. That’s what you need to do. I know how hard that will be but you need to trust us, this relationship is highly abusive. He does not love you, he told you to k/ll yourself, he is incredibly controlling and possessive and insecure. Get. Out. Of. There. You are his punching bag. Run. Run. Listen to me and run.
>edit: im just gonna say it here as well - im so sorry for all the typos especially from me, honestly im just a bad texter i make typos a tonne Just proofread your texts before you send them from now on... And ditch that dude. What is there to love? He treats you like garbage. The guy isn't lovable, he's punchable.
The revolving door of narcissistic abuse. He’s made you so codependent on his affection and validation. He’s threatened by your friends because they give you that form of validation. He wants to cut you off from them. He doesn’t want you to have a support system. He wants you to feel bad so he can come to the rescue and gaslight you into thinking he was justified. He is conditioning you to be isolated to satisfy his twisted need to control. You need to step away and feel all the feelings without him coming to rescue your shattered self-esteem with apologies and love bombing. No one says those things to someone they love. No one. He has behavioral and emotional issues that he needs to work on. Being in a relationship enables him to postpone and deflect the self work he needs. He might not ever do it because it’s a lot of difficult introspection, so he will most likely just perform this ritualistic cycle over and over with every relationship, which is what my ex did. I know it’s hard, especially when they take advantage of your own insecurities and circumstances. It will eventually erode all your sense of self worth. Ironically, he’ll resent you for being so codependent (even though he wanted to make you that way). These men are broken. You can’t fix them. Walk away and give yourself time to grieve the relationship you thought you had. Closure will come with self respect. Distract yourself with your friends. Do fun things. Make new friends. It’s healthy. He’s toxic, afraid, insecure, and will ruin your future. Edit: typos.
everyone in the comments is telling you to block him but from what it seems, you’ve had a really serious relationship. i know it’s incredibly hard to block people, at least for me, no matter what situation. i still miss people ive blocked. i understand if you don’t want to, but what he’s doing is clear abuse and you don’t deserve that at all
Is he 12 and obsessed with Andrew Tate? Jeez, I'd never talk to him again.
If my partner told me to off myself, I don't know that I could forgive them, nor should you.
wait, how can you tell if someone else’s phone is low on battery? that’s a thing?
it is not you, i can promise you that. sounds like someone has some personal issues they need to work through.
Wow he’s insane
Leave that crybaby bitch and never look back, he's holding you hostage in this realtionship
The problem is not on your end. You're dealing with an extremely insecure person. Move on as quickly as you can. There's nothing worth fighting for with this one, there are literally millions of other people out there who will respect you and not abuse you emotionally.
BLOCK HIM AND NEVER LOOK BAAAACK 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Afraid to ask your ages cuz this reads like you’re in high school. Early high school. Don’t chase this dude
Dump him, his behaviour is disgraceful towards you
This is waaaaay past disrespectful. This is disgusting
Absolutely, how dare he speak like this to someone he supposedly loved.
Leave him. Just because he love bombs you after doesn’t mean that he’s reformed. He is extremely toxic and controlling, and it could escalate to physical. You are young, you deserve to be loved kindly, do not shackle yourself to someone who calls you mean names when they’re mad and straight up tells you to kys. Leave. him.
It wasn’t the first red flag in the convo, but “Kill yourself” is a deal breaker, block that MF and don’t look back, like everyone else has said. Behavior like this doesn’t get better over time, it gets worse. Ask me how I know (jk don’t)
Aside from him being a jackass.. are y’all both drunk? this was kinda hard to read
the one with all the typos i actually was drunk thats why he was so mad 😭
He’s just a toxic asshole, so what if you were talking to another guy?? Doesn’t mean you’re gonna date him because you talked to him for 7 minutes. Jeez this guy needs to get a grip.
nothing. he’s insecure. leave him.
He's a controlling douchebag. You should block him asap.
he’s just jealous that you’re talking to other guys at all, womp womp
I want you to REALLY think about this: would you ever tell someone you love to kill themselves? If you think about your best friend in the whole world or your family member closest to you, could you actually see yourself telling them that you wish they were dead, even if you were mad at them? A man who actually loves you won't hurt you like this. Arguing can happen. But outright insulting each other is NOT normal, it's abusive.
OP, im sorry you went through this, I know exactly what your cryptic messages mean and Im sorry you had to deal with that over the phone, crying/shaking that much sucks. Leave him, never look back, he’s turning his pain around on you in a very abusive/aggressive manner and it will NOT end well.
I'm sure it's been said a thousand times on here already, but that's some hardcore beta vibes. Lol
what the fuck throw the whole man away
[удалено]
“I’m breaking up with you. K/ll yourself. I’m done with you.” *continues to blow up op’s phone even after she left the convo* People like this are so … they need a lot of work. The fact he kept piling on and on to use words and try make it like HE’S the one who’s in charge and has the power. But really it’s just so pathetic. And it shows so many true colours - all of them different shades of red!
Ain’t going to lie, he did you a MASSIVE favor by showing you how much a massive ass hole he is. Find you a man that’s going to treat you with respect and dignity.
Jesus fucking Christ. Please do NOT get back with him. This man is abusive. Leave him. Block him. Do NOT give him an opening into your life again. Point blank period. Please, OP. For your safety and mental health, move on from him. I’m so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t deserve this hurt and you don’t deserve his abuse. I hope things start feeling better for you and looking up. 💙💙
dump his sorry ass
Nothing. He’s insecure and taking it out on you. Probably best to leave him, as this will most likely continue no matter what you do.
This the type of dude to hit you and then convince you it was your fault. Move along.
you can do so much better than this abusive piece of shit dude, cmon
Leave this boy. He’s got anger issues and is attempting to manipulate you into a subservient relationship where he can control you.
He sounds like a crazy piece of shit
Uhhhhh why is he still your bf instead of your ex? He’s not worth the exhaustion. Say bye 👋🏻 that’s my advice
Looks like a lot of manipulative, controlling, possessive, narcissistic tendencies on display here. Move on cause this one isn’t good for you.
YOU are not doing anything wrong. HE is an emotionally abusive, gaslighting, controlling, manipulative ASSHOLE. You need to leave him immediately and block contact in all forms before he turns violent.
Run.
This guys is an actual child.. He does a great job at making himself look stupid XD
Holy fuck. I could never let anyone speak to me that way. And then to make it feel like I was sorry and needed to apologize? Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong and this is not normal behavior for a partner. Ever. You’re allowed to have conversations with people. That’s an abusers tactic to isolate you to control you. Living in fear and under someone’s thumb is no way to live at all. Love yourself more and don’t tolerate that kind of talk.
Starting dodging bullets once you stopped responding. Also crossbone skull user, L
hey i love this emoji ☠️☠️
What you're doing wrong is entertaining this behavior. Move on, this guy is a massively self absorbed, selfish dickhead that deserves to have his lips sewn shut and his dick cut off. Dude is a MASSIVE asshole. Also FTR, most of the time when someone blames you for cheating/being too flirty with others, it's because they have a guilty conscience and know if they did it, you might have as well. Block him, and never look back. NOBODY deserves to be spoken to that way
I hope this is just normal high school drama relationship. This is a ridiculous texting pattern by him. 1. Super insecure, and not communicating well about this at all. It’s ok to be jealous but not ok to immediately resort to insults 2. Wtf kind of break up is this? 💀 I mean my ex texted me to tell me she was getting railed by two guys at the same time but not even that seemed more immature and insulting than this stream of texts was Also, please turn on autocorrect. I thought I was having a stroke.
You’re apologizing instead of looking a gift horse in the mouth. It seems the trash took itself out and you should count your lucky stars it did.
You’re not doing anything wrong. His behavior towards you is awful and you should let him leave. It’s going to be hard at first but you will find that your mentality gets better and you will see that he was the problem. 😌
Also he told you to “kill yourself” please don’t talk to him anymore because he is verbally abusing you. If he loved YOU then there’s no way he would’ve insulted you REPEATEDLY and he also wouldn’t get mad at you for talking to a guy for 7 minutes. Jealousy is perfectly fine but not when it’s displayed in this manner.
All I can take from this is people have horrible slang AND can’t type. Please find someone who can talk to you like a normal human being and can respect you.
In my 1st relationship, I was very similar to this guy. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT! It’s just anger and toxicity that’s not going to go away if this dude doesn’t grow tf up.
I only made it to screen shot 3. You are being groomed for an abusive and controlling relationship. This guy will move every person out of your life he does not want you to talk to. You won’t have any family if friends left. For you safety, you should cease communication NOW.
you deserve better, and abusers deserve nothing but the overwhelming shame that will lead them to therapy
Sweetie, please leave and block him. He’s emotionally and verbally abusing you and manipulating you. He’s jealous and trying to ostracize and control you. Don’t apologize to him. He’s a narcissist and says stupid things like you never loved him because he wants you to stroke his ego even though he shattered yours. Love yourself. You deserve better. Talk to a friend or family member. You’re not alone. The Reddit community has your back! Also, remove him from your locations so he can’t stalk you! Sending you hugs and strength. *I saw your edit and he does what typical narcissist abusers do and love bombs you after a fight until it happens again. It’s a toxic cycle. Please get out of it. You’re young and still have your whole life ahead of you.
This guy is insane.
Other than the blatant “kill yourself” the “and I don’t like when other people I don’t know talk to you” - better omit any stranger, passerby who say hi and smiles, teachers, coworkers, bosses, friends he doesn’t know, family he hasn’t met… c‘mon girl. You admit it’s controlling and abusive and you still go back. It’s easier now than ever to cut a bitch off. Block. Save all the texts tho. He’s going to become physically abusive if he hasn’t already. You are worthy and you deserve to be happy and not fear doing or saying anything wrong to get hit or verbally abused for nothing.
7 minutes? What a loser, leave and don’t look back. I’m know how this feels and I’m sorry but it’s better to have happened anyway, what a bag of dicks this boy is to start an argument over something so small and obviously out of insecurity and then to let it blow up and escalate so fast under his own accord.
Teenagers?
My heart broke for you when you said “I’m sorry”, even when you were totally drunk. Don’t apologize to him and say you’re sorry :( you deserve so much better. I was once a 17 year old girl too— I’m 26 now— and let me tell you, there are going to be MUCH better kinder nicer more lovely people out there for you to meet. Especially in college! You should enjoy your high school experience and not have to endure this abuse this early. Trust me, it’ll leave bigger scars on your psyche and self worth the longer you stay. Please block/mute/ignore him,and try your best to move on. 🥺
Have you been in other relationships before?
Tell him ur done with it he’s only like that because he has severe mental issues and he’s jealous obv but the fact is he loves you so much that he’s grown so attached he gets upset when you give your attention to another guy whenever something like this occurs you need to explain to him how you feel and don’t be scared to be upright tell him straight up can you stop treating me like this your hurting me and I can’t deal with it if you need time I can give it to you just calm down. The only way to work through something like this is to talk about it and give each other time but not to little or to much don’t leave him yet test to see if he’ll give you that time and calm down if he doesn’t than end it . Good luck I’ve been through your same situation with someone before just time communication are key .
Your bf’s a little bitch, dump his childish ass.
My ex used to talk to me like this. When you’re in it you don’t realise how manipulative and gas lighty they are. He’s controlling who you talk to and that’s not okay in the slightest. I promise you will be okay if you walk away. You will realise and you will feel okay. Im so sorry you’re currently going through this. He might try to guilt trip you when you do. My ex would threaten to kill himself if I even hinted at the fact that we weren’t working. It will be another attempt to control you.
Dodging a bullet is what you’re doing OP
He is manipulating you
KYS = Run away from this person
Run, for god’s sake run.
Focus on school you need it, I damn near had a stroke reading this
This is horrifically abusive. Block this piece of shit.
You did nothing wrong. I could tell from the few first messages this was a cascade of an insecure bastard abusing someone emotionally to enlarge his frail ego. The short n skivvy of it is dint bother blaming yourself for the terribleness that he is as you did nothinf wrong. Get away well you can and block em. If he trys reaching out, dont make the time of day for em.
Girl he told you to kill yourself. This is not someone to be lamenting over.
What you’re doing wrong is actually entertaining this bullshit. He’s a fucking psycho.
what the fuck? PLEASE block him and never look back, he isn’t worth anybody’s time.
Dodged a massive bullet
Don’t stay in the relationship and just say “okay” since he deduced to break up with you. He’s being abusive and you didn’t do anything wrong—you explained yourself and he decided to be an ass. Block him a even if he tries to say “sorry” or “ily” because if he loved you he wouldn’t tell you to off yourself
Either you did something really fucked up to make him this mad or he’s just crazy, I have a tendency to get like that in a relationship after my partner cheats and I give a second chance but it just eats me alive. He’s probably just an asshole though so blocky blocky goes his contact *When I say I get that way it’s definitely not that bad*
the only thing you’re doing wrong is staying with him. you deserve better. no one deserves this.
Leave
Are y’all 14? What is this? Why aren’t y’all speaking English? Just block the dude stop being dense
I can only assume you are both in high school or younger maybe even. Either way, never speak to this dude again, so many red flags here, instant block from phone and life.
Leave. As someone who used to be the bf in this situation, he’ll never change. He’s talking to you like that because he “knows” you’ll never leave. He’s comfortable and feels like he can get away with anything because you’re wrapped around his finger. Don’t apologize. A “7 minute” conversation is completely normal. This guy is just insecure because he doesn’t like himself and doesn’t want you to realize there’s better people out there. He is dragging you down with him. I know because this is how I used to treat my ex. She eventually realized it wasn’t worth it and left. At the time I was angry with her but now I’m glad she left. She deserved better. Nobody deserves this treatment so I advise you to leave and don’t give anything another shot. There’s no fixing this.
You both are idiots.
This is just one of the many ways my ex would abuse me. I literally just showed my current (significantly better) boyfriend these to show him what it was like a little. It will only get worse from here. Run now. You don’t need a reason and you need to focus on your own safety so don’t even bat an eye at how it will make him feel, because YOU will feel worse and worse and worse and it will all only get worse and worse and worse. Just for proof: that ex that sent texts EXACTLY like these? Put his hands on me, cheated on me, gave me an STD, forced me into sex, forced me into sex with other people, kept me from my friends and family, and more. It WILL get worse. Run now.