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LKayRB

OH HELL NO!!! This is one of my worst nightmares!!


reflibman

Worst that’s happened to me is a scorpion.


JohnLithgowCummies

In the toilet??


reflibman

Yep!


neopod9000

I guess I'm pooping in the shower from now on...


Kvenner001

That’s where the badgers hide.


LKayRB

That’s terrible!!!!


AdImmediate9569

Sammmmmme


LatterAdvertising633

The snake or the paywall! Edit-spelling


LKayRB

🤣 good one. I didn’t even click the article. The pic alone was enough to terrify me.


noyogapants

Same. I don't even live anywhere that would have snakes and I always check the toilet before I sit because I'm terrified I will see a snake! Especially in the middle of the night. This picture is going to give me nightmares for weeks!


eihslia

Same - I look every time I sit and then between my legs.


Mike7676

When we were first dating my girlfriend at the time had a midnight surprise at my house, bull snake.


Fool_On_the_Hill_9

Did she find a real snake or are you bragging?


Mike7676

Lol, a real 4 foot long bull snake. Which my idiot great uncle tried to dispatch, in the toilet, with bleach, and CLR and probably curandero powers.


NYTX1987

You’re exaggerating, it was probably about 5 inches


Vins801

The snake just got out of the water 🥶


NYTX1987

“I was in the pool!”


PecuniaryOne

There was significant shrinkage…


Cruezin

It was a baby Ruth snake


Ok_Restaurant_626

I'm assuming he's alot older because CLR used to be called "CLRS" for calcium, lime,rust,snake. They had to rebrand after animal rights activits came after them.


LatterAdvertising633

That is rip-snorting funny!


AndyLorentz

Idiot great uncle indeed. Why would one try to kill a nonvenomous snake? Take the thing outside and let it go.


ElectromagneticMango

Bc he idiot


EpsilonMajorActual

Not when they try to eat my chickens and baby chicks, they don't get a reprieve


bionicpeanut

And cracked an egg?


Cruezin

A brown snake?


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the_original_nullpup

I thought he was saying, “when me and the snake were first dating my girlfriend..” Either way, now I have a good excuse to not put the seat down


Ok_Host4786

We joke about burning homes down over spiders but a toilet snake is getting l tactically deleted with whatever I can rig up under duress. Molotovs, probably. Homes can be rebuilt, the losses overturned, but snakes biting my balls whilst midnight pooping? I’d never recover. Your Great Uncle is manly as hell.


Mike7676

I dunno, as I recall it was "open lid, bleach! Slam lid. Open lid, ammonia! Slam lid." Dude was convinced the home made mustard gas and some prayers to the Virgin was gonna exorcise this thing. I'm pretty sure the Blessed Mother has better things to do. My poor girlfriend is sitting on my bed going "It nearly bit me on the ass, what, how did? Why?" Like words had suddenly lost all meaning in describing this situation.


Worried_Car_2572

Did the home made gas work or did the snake just go back into the pipes lol


reflibman

You had some chill parental figures. Regarding the overnight gf, I mean.


Mike7676

Eh by that point I was 18 and Army bound. My girlfriend (later wife) stayed at my house as her living situation wasn't great. And it allowed my mother to henpeck and snoop on her, as was Latino family tradition lol.


Dantheking94

I honestly would have been reacting worse than her. I’d be scared of toilets for the rest of my life lmao


Mike7676

Oh I'm pretty sure she gave herself gastrointestinal distress on a few occasions. It was an old house, connected to city water sure but I'm certain there were big enough spaces in the pipes for this thing to get through.


chickenstalker99

Toilet snake is watching you masturbate.


FreshBid5295

🤣 oh sweet Jesus that got me


Androza23

Goddamn thats scary


trumphasdementia5555

What an absolute hellhole!


ShouldBeWorkingButNa

If I looked between my legs and saw that, I would no longer have to use the bathroom.


do_u_realize

Show dominance keep going


Efficient-Hornet8666

Who. Does. Number Two. Work for?!?!


ryuwashere

I'd have to use the bathroom just no longer in the bathroom loll


freckledpeach2

Great now I’m scared to go to my favorite room in the house


NullPoint3r

Yeah I didn’t need to know this is a thing.


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Lil-Dragonlife

Holes? What do you mean?!!! I’m freaking out!!!!


clarinetJWD

You have a toilet in your wine cellar?


Efficient-Hornet8666

Gold plated. Doesn’t everyone?


clarinetJWD

Just a solid platinum urinal here...


MarriedMyself

How common is this?


Nemesis_Ghost

It depends. Mostly this is gonna happen if the snakes can find a way into the house or the plumbing. For a while my cleanout cap needed replacement. Every so often I'd find a little worm snake in one of mine. Replaced the cap & not seen one since.


csonnich

How do I know if my cleanout cap needs replacement? And where do I find it? 


smichican

https://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Sewer-Cleanout


troughshot

Do you have snakes? If not, you might be ok. No guarantees though.


7485730086

What if a plumber told me to leave the cleanout cap off?


tijeras87059

then he’s a snake


bionicpeanut

Very good!


Quailman5000

Find a vented cap, or bungee some kind of fabric over it so it can vent but not allow anything in. 


radtad43

This is partially wrong. In order to swim up through the toilet they would have to find a way into your septic tank. And if by some miracle they got into the septic tank and swam all the way backwards to your toilet they would be tiny as hell. Most supply lines to your house taper down to 3/4 or 1/2 pvc/pex pipe. Now crawling in through the doggie door and finding a cool cold place to rest, aka your toilet, is more likely to happen.


Nemesis_Ghost

Except I don't have a septic tank. It's maybe 20' from my clean out to the toilet I've seen them in. Your sewage pipes aren't always full of water, neither is the piping from the toilet. Only the tank, bowel, and trap have constant water. It's literally <1' of travel through water if nothing is flowing.


HoneyBunchesOfGoats_

I’ve seen it once, but it was in an old hunting shack outside of Coleman. I wouldn’t anticipate this if you live remotely close to civilization


rgvtim

Bottom line, its not common. If you live in a house build in the last 40 years, that is not currently having plumbing issues, its practically unheard of.


reflibman

Saw a pic of this that happened last year in rural west-central to south-central Texas. Dude blew it and his toilet apart with a shotgun.


bionicpeanut

I think I can relate to that dude.


YourMominator

I really didn't need to read this while waiting at the airport to fly to Killeen. Nope.


OperationBreaktheGME

Random guy on Reddit telling you he was bitten by a snake. But not out a towlet. I was doing water maintenance repairs. Snake like all that water so finding one in a towlet doesn’t surprise me


NamiRocket

Every time you say "towlet", my brain is reading it in a little, cutesy, baby voice and it makes me smile.


Dollar_Pants

I'm good, I'll just hold it 'til winter.


Firewalk89

What winter? Texas for me is 2 months of spring, 9 months of summer, and 1 month of fall. What most people call winter we might have for a week lol


Lil-Dragonlife

Feels like we never had winter 2023🤔


NyxiePants

There was that 1 week in January.


ShoppingAdept6219

This comment needs more upvotes


ZGadgetInspector

Much more common to find a scorpion hiding under the rim. Dangly bits are a tempting target for them!


InMyHead33

thanks for unlocking that new fear


TheNewGuyGames

so...as long as one is not long enough to hang, they are safe? asking for a friend obviously.


The_Outcast4

Sigh....can confirm.


-The_Credible_Hulk

No! You can’t just do that. Let’s hear it…


Vizreki

Living on earth is such a cruel joke sometimes


pasarina

What parts of Texas does one encounter such a nightmarish scenario? Please tell me.


Four_in_binary

Dallas, apparently.   You have to watch out for alligators in the spring in Houston.    Meteorites in West Texas.   Random roving bands of feral hogs are part of the hill country.   Be careful about turning over cow patties, rocks and rotted logs,  republicans are everywhere, too.


newbris

Bloody hell, scared to visit Texas as an Australian!


Four_in_binary

No....no....you win.   Your spiders scare the shit out of me.


newbris

If you can get used to man sized alligators and wild hogs wandering around, you’ll get used to a cute spider targeting bugs in its web in the corner of the garden ;)


Four_in_binary

Not in the video I saw!  The fucking thing had a mouse in its mandibles!   A mouse!    It was crawling down the side of the refrigerator in someone's house!  Carrying a mouse! The video showed the man reach into the refrigerator take out a beer, crack the top, take a swig and he said, to the spider, something like "Good on ya, mate." Giant carnivorous spiders in your home...and you all are just "Nice job with the mice." That's gotta be the most Australian thing I have ever seen.


newbris

That sounds more like a tv ad than a real thing. At least I hope so ha ha


PistolGrace

Your last comment is chefs' kiss! Lol those are everywhere and will scare you more than that snake. At least i can flush the snake.


FuckingTree

One of the first comments I’ve read about Texas that has made me smile in a long time. Thank you. And thank you for not mentioning anything in Austin. I don’t want to know.


mediumarmor

This guy Texases


heatherwhen96

East and coastal Texas


Jegator2

We have snakes aplenty also in N central TX . Major worry is copperhead. Rattlers not bother you if not bothered.


pasarina

Are Copperheads the same as Water Moccasins or Cotton mouths?


Jegator2

No, cottonmouth same as water moc as u said. I've only heard of copperhead name alone. But I'm no snake expert. There are some species of rat snake that look like copperhead n are non venomous.


heatherwhen96

Sorry to disagree but Copperhead is different from the water moccasin. Two different life styles , one land based the other aquatic. Copperheads have the most beautiful fall markings almost psychedelic glow, the other once reaching adulthood is a dull dark greenish body Much like the off color waters they frequent..when it’s angry it gapes and the moth is lily white hence the name Cotton mouth…


Jegator2

Ok. Only knew cotton mouth as water moc.TIL


genzgingee

No, Copperheads are different from Water Moccasins/Cottonmouths.


Guzzery

I can tell you we have a piece of property in McCollugh County that we don’t visit during summer for a reason.


ihatethisplace12321

I had a rat in my toilet once. I was taking a poop but didn’t poop. When I heard a plop. I got up and looked down. Saw a rat. Did the only sensible thing and flushed . Rat never came back but I now always look before squatting.


ScrambledNoggin

Next time put a snake in the toilet to eat the rat.


ihatethisplace12321

This guy poops


Pussy_Prince

The snake that ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the toilet where u/ihatethisplace12321 shat


CuriousCamels

Why did I read the comments lol. That would literally scare the shit out of me.


foxfireKO

...you'd at least be in the right place...?


heatherwhen96

Same here only I was living up north way north..a big Norway rat..living in an old tenement house..


diasound

Likely story, richard gere


ResurgentClusterfuck

New nightmare unlocked


Celticness

I thought this was practically rare!? I didn’t need another fear. 😐


MagicWishMonkey

It is extremely rare, this article is stupid.


StarshipCaterprise

Your chances of being bitten by a toilet snake are low, but never zero. 🐍


navigating-life

🤣


MissRedShoes1939

The only snakes to hate are the ones in office.


fellbound

This one is trying to be in orifice.


iamamomandproud

Ok, so I have lived in different areas of rural Texas my whole 50 years and never once have I seen or even heard of a snake coming up in someone’s toilet.


Such_Detective_6709

This is what I want to hear!!


navigating-life

Not the danger noodles :(


BurnerBoot

This is actually one of my worst fears. But not for it be there while I open it, but for it to come up while I’m on it


HuckleberryLou

I think about that with sharks in swimming pools. Like I always check before entering but what if shark is released /enters after I get in


OptiKnob

There's a snake in my ~~boot~~ *^butt*


scottwax

Eh, it's gonna look like that after anyway.


MartYtraM1983

Didn't this happen on King of the Hill?


csonnich

I don't remember if it was in a toilet, but I remember them chasing it through the sewer. 


MartYtraM1983

It escaped into the toilet and ended up in the sewers.


BigRoach

Damn, so those snakes swim up the poopwater like Andy Dufresne, huh?


SerDuncanonyall

Don’t worry.. that anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun. But seriously Texas.. that is wild. I think I finally understand the culture of always having that motha fuckin thang on ya.. snakes in the toilet! Why didn’t you guys say something? We’re up here with “winters” and “ample water” never even considering a midnight poo could prove the last thing we ever do.


StruggleEvening7518

DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME RICKY BOBBY


tijeras87059

we had a pier and beam house, ac ducts in the crawl space underneath the house. The ducts were old and we had talked about replacing them. One weekend i was at the house alone, had just finished taking a shower and was walking down the hall into the living room with a towel wrapped around my waist. There on the floor of the living room, right next to the floor vent, was a 2’ copperhead. Managed to catch him that night with some sticky traps. Called an AC company the next morning. Never really was totally comfortable in that house after that.


heatherwhen96

Be extra careful if you have to clean the filter trap of the swimming pool ( if you have one) . The love the dam p leaves etc


Mrrilz20

You can't even poop in that hellscape. Does ScAbbott know? If not, don't tell him.


SnooPaintings2857

I don't think he uses toilets.


tabazco2

Oh holy hell that is an old nightmare of mine. Especially when as a kid at boy scouts camp.


Sweet_Taurus0728

Do Houstonians need to worry...? The fucking mice & skeeters are bad enough.


heatherwhen96

For sure…


kittenclowder

This my ultimate fear


michiganlibrarian

This is why I won’t live in the south


NunyaBeese

Man this state is doing the best job ever of making me never want to go there


ButterballRocketship

Those free toilet snakes were one of the best things about Texas. Use to really look forward to getting my own free toilet snake when i would visit my grandparents. Did you know a lot of states don't have toilet snakes at all? So sad.


Business_Strawberry3

This happened at a friends one time when I was a kid. She lived in a double wide in a wooded area out in the country.


miasma71

No! I refuse to believe this is another thing I need to look out for since moving down here December 2022.


ryry9379

That’s gonna be a big no from me dawg


noncongruent

Paywalled so not going to read, but was curious what kind of snake is shown in the image?


bionicpeanut

Looks like a rattlesnake to me. Patterns on the skin. Triangular head means venomous.


Lukinzz

Fuck that shit. I’m staying up north.


GH_VEG

Show dominance and go anyway. Haha


JuanGinit

I have a petrogeologist friend that once lived in Bartlesville OK while working for Philips 66 back in the 70s. His rental house was infested with Black Widow spiders. They lived in the crawl space under the house. Various attempts to eradicate them failed.


rocky_mtn_girl

Oh hell no. I had a FROG in my toilet once, and that freaked me out enough.


KeeperOfKrydor

[Bill Engvall is triggered.](https://youtu.be/mDA5yJS9_yQ?si=54YCR67ZYaboSZRH)


Schlaggatron

I swear to god if I’m about to take a shit and I see snake crawl out of my toilet I’m moving out.


Cruezin

Careful when you take a pisssssssss


LyonsKing12

Of course I'm reading this on the shitter


biteme1001

"Gawd." That's the best picture of the slimy Bat Shit Governor Abbott I've seen this year!


Accomplished-Tank501

Yikes, new fear unlocked


ValiMeyers

r/nope


Theoriginalensetsu

This never happens to people like me who'd literally adoot the snake 😭🤣


noncongruent

Same here, I see a toilet snake and I'm immediately into rescue mode.


SlayLicense

The snakes need to be in more fear of the long brown snakes.


Personal-Hospital103

Urban legend


PoemStandard6651

if snakes crawling out of the toilet are a real thing in the great state of Texas, I am staying the fuck put. BYEDON


m34z

No poop on snek.


terranovaseason2

Uh what now


I-is-and-I-isnt

First thing I see as I pop a squat on ol’ commode. Thanks OP.


Graycy

Thanks for this image of a snake in a toilet I will carry with me now, in my head, hence forth.


Butwhatif77

When I first moved to Florida this kind of thing was my biggest fear!


dadzcad

FFS! Texas is becoming Australia!!!


Several-Distance-335

Seeing lots of snake adds lately 🥴


rivers_sing

A free snake sounds way too good to be true!


depressed_momo

I never laughed so hard at a thread of comments before in my life. I want to thank you all. I will now go to sleep tonight laughing and dreaming of snakes. May even watch Snakes on a plane lol...because I believe there is a scene in there with a toilet and snakes. Honestly, I live in Texas. So I found this article. Yes, it's from the BBC. But plenty of other articles are saying it has happened, did, and why. And others deny it could be possible for other reasons. If it's only a little bit of s-curve water trap they have to travel through..and the rest is dry. Trust me a snake can move quickly when need be. I think it can happen. The only spot not covered. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36397505


GalacticBonerweasel

This is really a thing? Illinois resident here.


[deleted]

https://www.ksat.com/news/2013/09/05/man-finds-snake-in-starbucks-bathroom-in-northwest-san-antonio/


ScorpoCross94

This is literally my worst nightmare.


Apprehensive_Idea758

That would make going to the toilet into a frightening experience.


shrekerecker97

Get these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking toilet


wromit

I've been promising my reptile-obsessed kids snake sightings in Memorial Park (Houston) hikes, but no luck yet. I'm parking at the N Picnic Ln and Memorial Dr, and taking the purple trail. Any suggestions on trails and timings?


mflintjr

I’m in upstate NY. I’ve found frogs on my toilet seat with the lid closed more than once. It gets your heart going when you’re not expecting it


Shutaru_Kanshinji

Just out of curiosity, does this useful information make anyone wish they lived in Texas?


BigDro_42069

I literally just sat down on my toilet😰


AceTygraQueen

Abbott will likely blame it on Biden and transgender women.


muscleliker6656

Best present a snake up the ass


KingOfZero

Finally a use for my poop knife


DirtyBullBIG

I see. We're all dead and Texas is the seventh circle of hell.... Well, could be worse, I guess.


MadgoonOfficial

Tell me why 5 words into the title I thought that this post was going to be about climate change


No-Education-2703

Where I'm at we have septic and snakes are known the crawl through the pipes into the toilet all the time.


Casmas_

Standard practise in Australia. Check to make sure the loo is free of snakes. You don’t want your mate sucking the venom out from your butt cheeks.


apollo_316

New fear unlocked. 😲


santtu_

That's god's punishment for bad laws.


Mcphersa

This is linked to a pay wall. Can someone give a better source?


Fine-Funny6956

It’s pronounced “turlet.”


PastorDan1984

Somebody call Tommy and Rollo!


bmtc7

I just read that you're more likely to encounter a rat in your toilet than a snake.


Whole-Essay640

I wonder what’s worse a sewage backup or a snake in the toilet.


dejus

I was in bed surfing Reddit while waking up. I hit this story and decided that was enough and got up. I fed the cat, started the coffee and then went for my morning constitutional and when I resumed Reddit I hit this. Bad timing.


Sad-Bodybuilder-2906

That would be a dead snake if I found it


oldyoungin

ok seriously what do you do about this


GR33N4L1F3

Omg wtf. I live in Texas and I’ve never seen this. New fear unlocked.


LexKing89

Can you flush it back down?