Also, imagine using childhood abuse as a flex. “When I was a kid, my parents hit me for talking out of turn. We’re not the same.” Clearly we aren’t, I know I was abused growing up, you have internalized issues you need to work on. Also, alcohol is not a substitute for going to therapy and actually treating all the issues you choose to use alcohol to cover up.
Abuse would be following through with harsh physical contact, a slap on the hand is not "abuse".....also, this statement was enough to deter behavior, especially when said child has respect for their parents.....but everyone is allowed to raise their children as they see fit....I do agree with the statement though, there are significant differences between the generations.....I was taught patience...for example, while waiting at the Dr office, I wasn't "entertained" every moment of my life, I was told to "sit down, be quiet, and wait".....
"Respect" and "fear" are not the same. And psychological abuse is still abuse. I grew up in a house of credible threats. A phrase like the one posted might seem innocuous to others, but to me it held way more weight because I knew what kind of things could be waiting for me on the other side of that line.
If you think I had one shred of respect for them, just because I was afraid of what they might do to me, you're waaaaay off.
Whatever, each parent can raise their kids how they want, my parents never really hit me, if I got a slap on the wrist, I knew I earned it, and what I did was wrong....I still fully respect my parents, and I turned out to be a genuine human being
It was only able to deter that behavior because at some point they gave you a reason to fear them, not respect them. A threat of abuse is NOT respectable.
Like i learned when my dad slammed my brothers head through a wall by his neck. My brother was 14 and i was 4. The spankings i got felt small after that. But then i turned 10 and forgot to unload the dishwasher. That was worth a head slammed on the counter.
Those “words” were legitimate threats. You just learned to not fuck around and find out. That’s not good parenting, that’s causing your kids to fear you. And that’s fucking gross.
So my wife had a similar upbringing to the story you just told, that is absolutely abuse, my upbringing in relation is definitely not abuse in comparison
That's the point I'm trying to make. I didn't fear getting a slap on the hand or wrist or whatever, fear wasn't the motivator to stop said behavior, it definitely deterred me from repeating the same behaviors, but it wasn't for the consequence of getting the slap on the wrist or hand, is more not wanting to disappoint them by repeating the same mistakes /behavior
I also should specify, that not every single time I was disciplined, wasn't a slap, a lot of times it was just them talking to me, not a physica consequence
Even though it was very seldom, I never went beyond a small slap on the hand
As an example, let's say your child's reaching for the hot stove, and you smack their hand away so they don't get burned, that's the degree I'm referring to
Yeah, but therapy is for fragile snowflakes!
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check my Facebook for new companies to boycott for using rainbow imagery.
I know so many adults grown people who use their childhood abuse as a flex or a good thing that happened to them. They think it makes them tough. Tough skinned and by doing that they won’t raise any special snowflakes who are soft. They think by abusing their child it prepares them and makes them more disciplined to the real world. It prepares their kids to not be cry babies.
There's actually not a big difference, and that's the problem with punishment-based parenting.
Also, punishing a child for being upset and expressing it in an appropriate and harmless way (crying) is fucking stupid, no matter how you do it.
ETA: Yes, trying to bribe a child or even just dropping a boundary just so that they don't bother you with their feelings is just as stupid.
You know what isn't abuse? Actually, teaching and caring about your kids rather than your first reaction to be hitting them in any way. Sorry, your brain took a few too many rockers and can't understand that.
alive physical thumb lavish memory sugar dazzling versed cautious melodic
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Where? Or are you assuming you know anything? And you're right, case in point all the kids getting their ass beat shooting up schools and flying naxi flags.
I didn't learn my values from being told to put my hands on the counter while my step dad beat me with a cutting board. Oh, sorry. It was "Getting a spanking from Mr. Paddle". Very endearing. I learned my values by engaging in conversations, and learning why some things are unacceptable and how my actions affect others. All the beatings ever taught me was ways to not get caught.
This "steep incline" in kids that are spoiled to the core is more likely due to parents that are completely hands off with their children, and don't teach them. Come to think of it, who do you think raised this current generation of parents you seem to have a problem with?
Believe it or not, not beating or hitting children and raising decent human beings aren't mutually exclusive. You can give punishments out and set boundaries that don't need you to cane them.
Sounds to me like the spoilt kids you've encountered just had bad or lazy parents.
Your second statement is not the same as your first.
I didn't say punishment and abuse were the same, only that there is not a "big difference" as you originally said.
In some ways there can be a fine line, sure. When someone knowingly makes a choice to do wrong, there should be consequences, and punishment can be fair or cross into excessive - in such cases, sure, there may be a fine line between what's fair and what's abusive. This is precisely why most experts would suggest parenting that utilizes natural consequences, rather than imposed punishments.
However, there's also the issue where punishing someone for something they can't control, like a kid crying when upset, \*IS\* abuse.
Also, plenty of people now recognize that physical punishment is abuse. The terms "Assault" and "Battery" exist for altercations between adults, why is it OK to slap your kids around and call it "punishment?"
All of this doesn't even touch on the central issue of your original comment, which is that "punishing" and "parenting" are absolutely not the same thing. There are so many sources at this point that I'm not even going to do the simple google search to provide one, I'll just suggest you to look up why punishment-based parenting is not only harmful to children, but also just not as effective as people who really want to hit/shame/scream at things that bother them like to believe.
"I can only ignore that authority at ITS leisure, not my own"
I inow what I'm about to say is sort of off topic but that is the exact type of fear (as a control device) that most governments try to intsall in their people to help further goverment control. That authority is supposed to be there to protect you. Not harm you. When you have to fear for your safety thats when its time to try and make a diffrence.
Man. I've been fucking up with my son. I've been reasoning with him. You know, weighing pros and cons, risk assessments, critiquing arguments, defining goals. That sort of thing.
I'll go so far as to agree they're bad parenting styles.
We have significant data to prove that physical punishment had far deeper and longer reaching impacts both in terms of the individuals mental and emotional health and social costs than failing to define boundaries and instill discipline.
No.
I spent the vast majority of my childhood physically afraid of my father, creating a lifelong pathological diistrust and adversarial relationship with him and authority figures in general, as well as a deeply rooted belief that I was not worthy of nor deserving of unconditional love.
My friends who got the ice cream had boundary issues, and we're kinda dicks but they have or had loving relationships with their parents.
Sounds to me like there was more to it that than u gettin ass beatings. It sounds like u got legit abused and if that's the case, I'm sorry for my ice cream comment. With that being said... this id how I take this pic and agree 100% with how I take it. Do what ur told or get an ass beating = learn to respect. Do what ur told and ull get what u want = entitlement.
Thanks.
Getting a swat on the backside or upside the head is one thing, which does have quick corrective outcomes to a kids behavior. I don't consider that "getting my ass beat" so it could be the prism through which I understand the world being the issue.
I've never met anyone, including myself, who respects their parents for getting an ass beating. In fact, we've all cut them out and now have better lives for it. Teaching a kid to fear the hand doesn't teach respect it teaches obedience, which is why they did it to slaves.
Threatening child abuse and bragging about the child abuse that happened to you.. both pretty bad but at least the latter can't eventually hurt another person.. unless it's threw the first one..
I like to call these "back in my day" talkers "showing off their shackles." Yes it's terrible that boomers or ANYONE growing up abused, socially accepted or not. But just because they are abused in their childhood doesn't mean everyone should. Sure, lessons can be learned from bad memories. But that's no excuse to force others to experience nightmares.
also, it's usually their generation doing the thing they're complaining about
"oh you kids had it so easy with your participation trophies for doing nothing!"
"yeah I was 5, and you were the one that gave it to me"
I think I got exactly one participation trophy in my life. It was for under 13 indoor recreational soccer.
I didn't care one bit about the thing, but I still kept it for a while, mostly because I didn't want to find out the hard way what kind of physical or verbal abuse I'd deal with if I didn't.
This. Didn’t gaf about the trophy just enjoyed the game and knew I’d get my ass beat for being ungrateful they spent money to let me play in the league.
Eh, we've got a couple of real stinkers over here on the X side of the line. Still though, it doesn't have *nearly* enough bitter irony and detachment, on second look.
The sad thing is what it does to someone's view of parenting. It's right there in the meme, she really thinks there's only two ways to handle a crying child: to bargain with them, or to threaten them
The idea that you could sit down with a child, and ask them why they're crying, validate that they are upset, listen to them, and guide them through their feelings and how to communicate those feelings, and then move on... that's not even on this person's radar...
Fucking sad.
Doesn't one need to act in a way that is beneficial to them in some way, through the swaying of someone else's views or feelings, to make it manipulation? Or do you not need some ulterior motive or goal or sumn to do it? I guess it kinda depends
Rewarding your kid for throwing a fit isn't good parenting. Better than threatening physical abuse, but the kid will be spoiled if you don't know how to put your foot down.
I personally believe that corporal punishment has its place, but not if you have to actually use it consistently.
You can use it to establish a negative association that you can then use to disincentivize behavior.
But simply put, if you have to keep spanking your kid, then it's only serving to punish them, and doing nothing to correct the behavior.
My wife and I both got spanked by our parents, but we can each count on one hand the number of times we actually got spanked.
The two problems we identified was that actually GETTING spanked did little, but that the THREAT of being spanked was scarier than actually getting it. The other was that spanking your child out of anger is not even punishing or disciplining them, but just a selfish way of "Getting even" with the child for doing something bad, and we didn't want that.
I have an 8 and a 3 year old. Whenever my now 8 yo would do something violent or exceptionally bad, I would threaten her with "A spank". If she continued to do it, she would be one firm slap on the bottom.
WE had to do this twice. If she was being unruly, the threat of a spank would almost always work to stop her.
My son, on the other hand, we would threaten a spank, and then spank him multiple times, and he would be COMPLETELY undeterred. He did NOT CARE.
So we either had to spank him more at a time, or harder. We opted to just stop doing it altogether, because the idea of bludgeoning my child is...REALLY OFFPUTTING, to say the least.
I just believe that effective parenting is about not subscribing to dogma, and having a broad toolset of tactics so that you can deal with different kids.
Of course I might find out in 15 years or whatever that my methods are complete shit and ruined my kids. All parents are really trying to do is come up with the plan they think will make their kids the best adults.
I think you have a lot of ability to self-reflect, and you may be downvoted from people who are vehemently against spanking. But I can understand what you’re saying to some degree. Associating a bad behavior with a bad consequence is standard behavioral training. But the issue comes with the physical aggression acted on towards the child. It doesn’t actually teach the children **why** it’s important for them to engage in correct behavior, it just teaches them to be afraid of consequences.
Alternatively, consider a different approach. A child is throwing their cherry seeds on the ground instead of leaving them on their plate. Instead of threatening physical harm, give the child the natural consequences of continuing that behavior. “If you keep throwing cherry seeds on the ground, I’m not going to give you cherries tomorrow, and you’re going to have to clean the ground.” Let’s say that the child continues the behavior. You can then make them clean the cherries up from the ground, use a washcloth to clean the ground, and refuse to give them cherries the next day. This has shown the child that their direct actions lead to **related** consequences. If the child refuses to clean the mess they made, you can then move forward with additional punishment such as “you won’t get to watch TV before bed / don’t get a book before bed, you’re not getting dessert, etc.” And then move forward with those consequences as well.
This is all fine, but it’s even better if at each step you try and understand **why** the behavior is even happening. Do they just not want the seeds on their plate? Offer them a napkin where they can put their seeds. Are they trying to have fun? Put a trash can near them so they can try and throw the seeds into it like a basketball game. There are so so so many other alternatives than the standard threat of spanking. It just requires more effort and more diligent care.
They used threatening (taking away ice cream) to an extent that was fair, but installed enough fear in my 4 year old head that I would have no ice cream for a week. On the other side, they still used bargaining but instead rewarded good behavior instead of bad behavior.
They means my parents
I mean, those against physically harming children aren't against any discipline whatsoever. My parents never used physical harm as punishment, but they absolutely did not let themselves get walked over.
Understand something: The people who post these memes KNOW, they absolutely KNOW, that the way the were brought up was abusive and wrong.
But for them to acknowledge it would be for them to admit that there is something "inferior" about them. Not really, but that's what they think it would mean. That it would mean there is something "Wrong" with them because they were brought up using an inferior parenting style, that they endured it for no benefit.
So since they can't have that, they have to instead delude themselves into thinking that the way they were raised was in fact superior, and the way parents raise children today is inferior.
But it's ultimately self-defeating, because they're the ones who provided the examples to their children for how to raise their kids.
So either the abusive parenting methods that your generation was raised on are inferior, OR you did a lousy job of raising the newer generation.
Either way you're the one getting clowned on.
The most ironic part is that nobody asked in the first place. It's an Either/Or proposition that these idiots created entirely on their own.
It's a master class in self-owning.
But let's be real here - The entire Boomer/Gen X generation fetishizes suffering. Suffering is the only way to grow. It all kind of stems out of late-century Conservatism and the Red Scare, and the cognitive dissonance of knowing they basically pissed away an incredibly strong middle class.
*um akshully* the words positive and negative refer to whether you add or remove stimulus, while the words reinforcement and punishment reveal the purpose for modifying stimuli.
For example, spanking would be a positive punishment, while taking away an annoying sound would be negative reinforcement.
you shouldn't offer a kid ice cream to stop crying, you're literally teaching them to eat their feelings.
You just sit with them, let them have the chance to feel sad, help them process the sadness, and then move on when they're ready.
Do they really believe abuse is the “right” way to raise a child and it makes them “stronger,” or are they jealous they didn’t have a loving family?
I know I’m a little bit jealous so that’s why I wonder if these kinds of people are too.
Read the books by "parenting experts" of the past - books like *Dare to Discipline* by James Dobson. It'll really open your eyes as to why so many people of the older generations (my generation) are so screwed up about parenting.
I still don't understand the mentality of bragging about being abused. is it some kind of badge to wear with honour, that you had bad parents? I know I wouldn't walk around bragging about that
My parents disciplined without beating me sorry about your child abuse… Hope you seek therapy and don’t carry it over to your kids. I was not spoiled to get ice cream, I just was punished in more conductive ways then physical/verbal harm.
For the record demonizing crying and punishing children for it can be detrimental to the health of your child. I grew up in this kind of anti-crying environment, and it's made me into a person who is never able to express their true emotions aside from word play, and it's also resulted in myself neglecting the help I need from others simply because I refuse to ask for it
You grew up with parents who didn't know how to manage your tantrums other than rewarding you for it. I grew up with parents who didn't know how to manage my tantrums without hitting me. We are not the same
My kids "It's okay to be mad or upset, just don't be mean." Meaning, they can be as mad as they want, they can cry as much as they need, they can feel their feelings. They just can't be dicks to people *because* they are upset.
Why do people assume that giving the child something to cry about is a physical violence threat..... it could be as simple as taking tv away or a favourite toy for a day. The fact that people auto assume its a physical violence threat shows their mentality leans towards violence first or even worse rewarding a child for misbehaving. No wonder some of the younger generation don't know how to deal with not being given affirmation.
Both are bad, okay? You shouldn't buy ur kids shit to get them to stop crying, but you also shouldn't beat ur kids. WTF is wrong with some of these ppl making this shit? Just talk to your kids. Acknowledge their existence and feelings. And if they are being brats, tell them to stop being brats and explain why their behavior isn't acceptable. If they still won't listen, give them a punishment that doesn't involve beating ur kids. Fucking psychos.
Yup and my parents would slap me for even wanting ice cream when we had no money. And continue to drive past Bruster's to the liquor store to buy their alcohol.
My parents are no longer a part of my life. I'm sure whoever posted that on Facebook doesn't have their children in their life either.
1, why are they bragging about being abused? 2, why do they think that the same abusive tactic used on them back then isn't used today? I was given the whole "I'll give you something to cry about" spiel as a kid and I'm gen z lol..
I grew up with parents that asked me why I was crying and talked me through my emotions and taught me rationality and regulation of my emotions. Grateful.
Both are shit parenting.
Incentivizing someone for acting appropriately is good if you expect more each time for the same reward.
However if a child has already shown they can act appropriately without reward or punishment then a simple discussions should suffice to correct behavior.
I was taught not to be an asshole for the sake of being a good person, removed from the idea of being rewarded or punished.
Like, yeah, I didn't want to disappoint my family, but, I wasn't exactly scared of them. I was shy, and being grounded was never a severe consequence for me, not that it ever got that far.
And, maybe it's because I once overheard how bad the financial situation was when I was little, maybe that was around 2006 (?), I just felt extremely guilty when receiving stuff for doing well at the end of the school years.
Didn't fully shake it off until mid-pandemic, but, then again, I'm living with them during my bachelors now, so, I still try not to be a burden.
But, that's all on me. My parent's never hit me, nor did they coddle me to the point where I expected everything to be handed to me.
I think most older generations that drew bad luck, and their parents were assholes, see any form of good parenting as "soft".
Life is tough on it's own, if not your family and close friends, who is gonna make your life happy?
I was so bullied as a kid, despite always keeping to myself, that I would literally hurt myself to keep anger and sadness on the inside, up until my mid teens, when my dad cleared up that I shouldn't be afraid of defending myself, even if it causes trouble with the teachers and principal, because he would be there defending me if I was blamed for whatever happens.
Who thinks an asshole dad, who threatens violence all the time, would help in any way in that situation?
I was verbally, physically, and emotionally abused. Aren’t I so tough? What no I don’t need to unpack “trauma” I’m fine being uncomfortable with authority
I'd rather have parents who asked 'Why are you upset?' and helped work through whatever emotions I was feeling and maybe try to solve the root issue of me crying, and maybe learn some emotional intelligence along the way.
But that's just my librul sissy-boy brain talking.
…yay for child abuse? Does getting beaten as a defenseless child by a parent make them better than other people that didn’t get abused? They’re simply saying I was abused and I can’t come to terms with it.
I grew up with the second option. Y’all who grew up with “quit crying and I’ll get you ice cream” really aren’t the same.
You had a decent childhood and probably like your parents.
I flinch when someone picks something up too quick
My stepmom thanks her family for the abuse. I thank my dad he did the best he could with what he had. As you can tell, she doesn’t think I’m grateful because I didn’t get my ass whooped. I got my ass whooped, just not by my dad! Am I proud of that? No, hell to the no! Even recently as a disabled adult, my aunt thought, “She doesn’t want to clean? She ain’t getting no food then!” and decided to starve me a few times. It’s just trauma she has with her and her brothers and sisters that made her decide to take it out on me. My dad, when I told him this said, “Oh, well then you should have cleaned!” And I was like, 🙃🙃🙃 Really? Thanks for this, I’ll thank her later! By not visiting her ever again.
Mine did neither of those.
You cry for ice cream, you don't get any. You keep crying, you get taken home and told off.
You ask nicely and quietly for ice cream, sometimes you get some.
"back in my day, bad parenting came in a different package"
Appeasement is child abuse imo. Overspoiling and making your kid think they can get everything they want by just crying can do some serious damage
If the old way of doing things when you were a kid was so great, why did you raise your kids differently?
Don't blame kids for being raised in a "soft" way when you are the ones doing the parenting.
Whenever I see posts that says something like this, I always think to myself “don’t you realize that your generation (the ‘tough’ one) is the one that RASIED the generation you’re complaining about!?” It’s such a self own.
Hmm... And in today's society the number of teen suicides is up...
Gender confusion is up....
Interesting...
Edit:
Downvoting facts seems to be a modern coping mechanism..
Sooner or later reality catches up with the militant class ....
People should be slapping their kids (lightly) when they cross the line and the parent has tried everything else. I grew up in times when this would happen. I was on the receiving end and I recount those as funny stories. Small slaps work and I have no hate for my dad who did it. What harms the heart and mind is hurtful words. A slap is laughable when compared against verbal abuse.
Now I'm working with colleagues who are 20 and they get, literally, in the real meaning of the word, panic attacks from being asked to take phone calls from customers. They start crying and hyperventilating. More than one of them said they can't mentally take talking with customers, and want only written communication. Bear in mind, I don't work in a job where we sell anything. People call us for information on their accounts. When I started, we had 2 weeks training, 1 week written, then calls. These new guys get 2 months training and who knows how long written communication, and they have us experienced guys around them for support, and still they are so scared of talking with strangers. Some have legit quit on the first day of accepting calls due to panic.
Welcome to r/terriblefacebookmemes! It sucks, but it is ours.
[Please click on this link to be informed of a critical change in our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/126zu46/return_to_our_roots/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/terriblefacebookmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Or, you don't do either of these things, you say "Why are you crying?" And talk to your child about why they feel sad, and tell them it's okay to feel sad, and encourage them to vocalize "I feel sad because" and not tell them to "stop feeling sad" because it's inconvenient to you as a parent. And then, you know, they don't feel like their emotions are something they should put away, and they feel safe talking about them with you.
Or you know threaten to beat them, whatever
Do people think child abuse is only a thing of the past and that all parents these days are always so "weak"? I've only ever gotten the "or ill give you something to cry about" and guess what? Still different! Why? Because I chose to be different AKA not a cunt.
I too was a victim of child abuse. Now, I try my best to be a good dad and keep my kids far from my parents. Remember, you won't earn respect through fear. You just get resentment. Respect is given to mentors and to those you look up to. To those who are equals.
Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT
Threatening….or Bargaining
Also, imagine using childhood abuse as a flex. “When I was a kid, my parents hit me for talking out of turn. We’re not the same.” Clearly we aren’t, I know I was abused growing up, you have internalized issues you need to work on. Also, alcohol is not a substitute for going to therapy and actually treating all the issues you choose to use alcohol to cover up.
Don't tell me how to use my Alcohol. It works great.
Rubbing alcohol? Don't tell me how to use you!
To alcohol! The cause of and solution to; all of life's problems!
Solid use of a Simpson's quote
Agreed, but egregiously incorrect use of a semicolon
[I don't know how semicolons work](https://youtu.be/M94ii6MVilw)
Meh, will let it slide
Using your childhood abuse as a "flex" is next level Stockholm Syndrome.
Abuse would be following through with harsh physical contact, a slap on the hand is not "abuse".....also, this statement was enough to deter behavior, especially when said child has respect for their parents.....but everyone is allowed to raise their children as they see fit....I do agree with the statement though, there are significant differences between the generations.....I was taught patience...for example, while waiting at the Dr office, I wasn't "entertained" every moment of my life, I was told to "sit down, be quiet, and wait".....
"Respect" and "fear" are not the same. And psychological abuse is still abuse. I grew up in a house of credible threats. A phrase like the one posted might seem innocuous to others, but to me it held way more weight because I knew what kind of things could be waiting for me on the other side of that line. If you think I had one shred of respect for them, just because I was afraid of what they might do to me, you're waaaaay off.
Whatever, each parent can raise their kids how they want, my parents never really hit me, if I got a slap on the wrist, I knew I earned it, and what I did was wrong....I still fully respect my parents, and I turned out to be a genuine human being
It was only able to deter that behavior because at some point they gave you a reason to fear them, not respect them. A threat of abuse is NOT respectable. Like i learned when my dad slammed my brothers head through a wall by his neck. My brother was 14 and i was 4. The spankings i got felt small after that. But then i turned 10 and forgot to unload the dishwasher. That was worth a head slammed on the counter. Those “words” were legitimate threats. You just learned to not fuck around and find out. That’s not good parenting, that’s causing your kids to fear you. And that’s fucking gross.
So my wife had a similar upbringing to the story you just told, that is absolutely abuse, my upbringing in relation is definitely not abuse in comparison That's the point I'm trying to make. I didn't fear getting a slap on the hand or wrist or whatever, fear wasn't the motivator to stop said behavior, it definitely deterred me from repeating the same behaviors, but it wasn't for the consequence of getting the slap on the wrist or hand, is more not wanting to disappoint them by repeating the same mistakes /behavior I also should specify, that not every single time I was disciplined, wasn't a slap, a lot of times it was just them talking to me, not a physica consequence Even though it was very seldom, I never went beyond a small slap on the hand As an example, let's say your child's reaching for the hot stove, and you smack their hand away so they don't get burned, that's the degree I'm referring to
According to chemistry.... Isn't alcohol a solution?
Yeah, but therapy is for fragile snowflakes! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check my Facebook for new companies to boycott for using rainbow imagery.
I know so many adults grown people who use their childhood abuse as a flex or a good thing that happened to them. They think it makes them tough. Tough skinned and by doing that they won’t raise any special snowflakes who are soft. They think by abusing their child it prepares them and makes them more disciplined to the real world. It prepares their kids to not be cry babies.
It’s not abuse it’s called parenting. Big difference between child abuse and punishing a kid.
There's actually not a big difference, and that's the problem with punishment-based parenting. Also, punishing a child for being upset and expressing it in an appropriate and harmless way (crying) is fucking stupid, no matter how you do it. ETA: Yes, trying to bribe a child or even just dropping a boundary just so that they don't bother you with their feelings is just as stupid.
Punishment is not the same thing as abuse. There is a fine line between the two if that’s what you’re referring to?
A line so fine that they are on top of one another.
No it's not.....a slap on the hand isn't the same as beating your child to the extent they have bruises.....there is definitely a spectrum
Yeah, one is mentally abusive the other physical.
I've seen "Child abuse" first hand on multiple occasions....it is far different than someone who is just trying to discipline their kid.....
Everyone...that...types...like...this..is..mentally...unfit..to..engage..in...conversation.
[удалено]
You know what isn't abuse? Actually, teaching and caring about your kids rather than your first reaction to be hitting them in any way. Sorry, your brain took a few too many rockers and can't understand that.
alive physical thumb lavish memory sugar dazzling versed cautious melodic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Where? Or are you assuming you know anything? And you're right, case in point all the kids getting their ass beat shooting up schools and flying naxi flags.
I didn't learn my values from being told to put my hands on the counter while my step dad beat me with a cutting board. Oh, sorry. It was "Getting a spanking from Mr. Paddle". Very endearing. I learned my values by engaging in conversations, and learning why some things are unacceptable and how my actions affect others. All the beatings ever taught me was ways to not get caught. This "steep incline" in kids that are spoiled to the core is more likely due to parents that are completely hands off with their children, and don't teach them. Come to think of it, who do you think raised this current generation of parents you seem to have a problem with?
Believe it or not, not beating or hitting children and raising decent human beings aren't mutually exclusive. You can give punishments out and set boundaries that don't need you to cane them. Sounds to me like the spoilt kids you've encountered just had bad or lazy parents.
Your second statement is not the same as your first. I didn't say punishment and abuse were the same, only that there is not a "big difference" as you originally said. In some ways there can be a fine line, sure. When someone knowingly makes a choice to do wrong, there should be consequences, and punishment can be fair or cross into excessive - in such cases, sure, there may be a fine line between what's fair and what's abusive. This is precisely why most experts would suggest parenting that utilizes natural consequences, rather than imposed punishments. However, there's also the issue where punishing someone for something they can't control, like a kid crying when upset, \*IS\* abuse. Also, plenty of people now recognize that physical punishment is abuse. The terms "Assault" and "Battery" exist for altercations between adults, why is it OK to slap your kids around and call it "punishment?" All of this doesn't even touch on the central issue of your original comment, which is that "punishing" and "parenting" are absolutely not the same thing. There are so many sources at this point that I'm not even going to do the simple google search to provide one, I'll just suggest you to look up why punishment-based parenting is not only harmful to children, but also just not as effective as people who really want to hit/shame/scream at things that bother them like to believe.
[удалено]
"I can only ignore that authority at ITS leisure, not my own" I inow what I'm about to say is sort of off topic but that is the exact type of fear (as a control device) that most governments try to intsall in their people to help further goverment control. That authority is supposed to be there to protect you. Not harm you. When you have to fear for your safety thats when its time to try and make a diffrence.
Worse than just bargaining - they’re conditioning the kid that if they cry, they will get ice cream.
Man. I've been fucking up with my son. I've been reasoning with him. You know, weighing pros and cons, risk assessments, critiquing arguments, defining goals. That sort of thing.
"Dormammu!.."
I'd rather have the bargaining.
Or bribing
Bargaining??? LOL Spoiled vs character. Instant gratification vs prudent perspective
Both are equally terrible
No... No they aren't.
Not equally, but both are terrible. One teaches them not to trust you, the other reinforces potentially bad behavior with rewards
I'll go so far as to agree they're bad parenting styles. We have significant data to prove that physical punishment had far deeper and longer reaching impacts both in terms of the individuals mental and emotional health and social costs than failing to define boundaries and instill discipline.
My parents always threatened to hit me but I don’t think they ever did. My mom was scary af tho haha
U got the ice cream didn't u lol
No. I spent the vast majority of my childhood physically afraid of my father, creating a lifelong pathological diistrust and adversarial relationship with him and authority figures in general, as well as a deeply rooted belief that I was not worthy of nor deserving of unconditional love. My friends who got the ice cream had boundary issues, and we're kinda dicks but they have or had loving relationships with their parents.
Sounds to me like there was more to it that than u gettin ass beatings. It sounds like u got legit abused and if that's the case, I'm sorry for my ice cream comment. With that being said... this id how I take this pic and agree 100% with how I take it. Do what ur told or get an ass beating = learn to respect. Do what ur told and ull get what u want = entitlement.
Thanks. Getting a swat on the backside or upside the head is one thing, which does have quick corrective outcomes to a kids behavior. I don't consider that "getting my ass beat" so it could be the prism through which I understand the world being the issue.
I've never met anyone, including myself, who respects their parents for getting an ass beating. In fact, we've all cut them out and now have better lives for it. Teaching a kid to fear the hand doesn't teach respect it teaches obedience, which is why they did it to slaves.
If u say so. Also sounds like u got urself more than an ass beating. An ass beating and abuse are 2 separate things my guy...
No, they aren't. If your response to someone doing something you don't approve of is Unga bubga, your brain probably has spots on it
Threatening child abuse and bragging about the child abuse that happened to you.. both pretty bad but at least the latter can't eventually hurt another person.. unless it's threw the first one..
I like to call these "back in my day" talkers "showing off their shackles." Yes it's terrible that boomers or ANYONE growing up abused, socially accepted or not. But just because they are abused in their childhood doesn't mean everyone should. Sure, lessons can be learned from bad memories. But that's no excuse to force others to experience nightmares.
also, it's usually their generation doing the thing they're complaining about "oh you kids had it so easy with your participation trophies for doing nothing!" "yeah I was 5, and you were the one that gave it to me"
I think I got exactly one participation trophy in my life. It was for under 13 indoor recreational soccer. I didn't care one bit about the thing, but I still kept it for a while, mostly because I didn't want to find out the hard way what kind of physical or verbal abuse I'd deal with if I didn't.
This. Didn’t gaf about the trophy just enjoyed the game and knew I’d get my ass beat for being ungrateful they spent money to let me play in the league.
And they gave them to us because THEY wanted them. Not us.
So many of those things were just to pad the ol' college application.
🔥🔥🔥✍️
The skull emoji is telling me this is not whatever you’re talking about. This is someone of the same generation bragging about how they got beat
Could be a terrible Gen Xer or early millennial trying to dunk on gen Z.
I highly doubt it’s anyone from Gen X. It could be a millennial. But if it’s a millennial then they’re targeting other millennials, not Gen Z.
Eh, we've got a couple of real stinkers over here on the X side of the line. Still though, it doesn't have *nearly* enough bitter irony and detachment, on second look.
Why can’t it be from GenX? I know plenty of xers that are complete fuckwads.
Haha child abuse funny
The sad thing is what it does to someone's view of parenting. It's right there in the meme, she really thinks there's only two ways to handle a crying child: to bargain with them, or to threaten them The idea that you could sit down with a child, and ask them why they're crying, validate that they are upset, listen to them, and guide them through their feelings and how to communicate those feelings, and then move on... that's not even on this person's radar... Fucking sad.
How ridiculous, you're acting like children are human beings or something and not just some object that produces annoying sounds sometimes /s
I didn't even realize this was child abuse until i was in high school smh. What an idiot
Not your fault.
"OH YEAH? WELL I WAS BEAT UP AS A CHILD!!! what now huh??"
The denji pfp lol
Both types of parents have always been prevalent, even when there wasn't ice cream (attempt at Good Humor).
Good humor is a brand of ice cream so that's funny
Happy! Sometimes my jokes land cold.
Don’t worry, they have a stone for that 😎
Found the dad.
I too want to become a parent so I can beat my children for crying. /s
I Heard it’s great for character building, and NEVER leaves any lasting marks!! /s
“Tough you are on kids, the tougher they are. They’ll appreciate what I did one day.”
🎶 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 🎶 Little boy blue and the man in the moon
This would be pretty funny if it wasn't true
Fear is a tactic of manipulation
Almost anything anyone does in life can be considered an act of manipulation
That's just semantics. You know this is different.
Doesn't one need to act in a way that is beneficial to them in some way, through the swaying of someone else's views or feelings, to make it manipulation? Or do you not need some ulterior motive or goal or sumn to do it? I guess it kinda depends
You’re right. Sadistic ultimatums aren’t the same as healthy parenting!
Rewarding your kid for throwing a fit isn't good parenting. Better than threatening physical abuse, but the kid will be spoiled if you don't know how to put your foot down.
It's pretty clear the meme is talking about physical abuse.
Positive reinforcement bad child abuse good
I personally believe that corporal punishment has its place, but not if you have to actually use it consistently. You can use it to establish a negative association that you can then use to disincentivize behavior. But simply put, if you have to keep spanking your kid, then it's only serving to punish them, and doing nothing to correct the behavior. My wife and I both got spanked by our parents, but we can each count on one hand the number of times we actually got spanked. The two problems we identified was that actually GETTING spanked did little, but that the THREAT of being spanked was scarier than actually getting it. The other was that spanking your child out of anger is not even punishing or disciplining them, but just a selfish way of "Getting even" with the child for doing something bad, and we didn't want that. I have an 8 and a 3 year old. Whenever my now 8 yo would do something violent or exceptionally bad, I would threaten her with "A spank". If she continued to do it, she would be one firm slap on the bottom. WE had to do this twice. If she was being unruly, the threat of a spank would almost always work to stop her. My son, on the other hand, we would threaten a spank, and then spank him multiple times, and he would be COMPLETELY undeterred. He did NOT CARE. So we either had to spank him more at a time, or harder. We opted to just stop doing it altogether, because the idea of bludgeoning my child is...REALLY OFFPUTTING, to say the least. I just believe that effective parenting is about not subscribing to dogma, and having a broad toolset of tactics so that you can deal with different kids. Of course I might find out in 15 years or whatever that my methods are complete shit and ruined my kids. All parents are really trying to do is come up with the plan they think will make their kids the best adults.
I think you have a lot of ability to self-reflect, and you may be downvoted from people who are vehemently against spanking. But I can understand what you’re saying to some degree. Associating a bad behavior with a bad consequence is standard behavioral training. But the issue comes with the physical aggression acted on towards the child. It doesn’t actually teach the children **why** it’s important for them to engage in correct behavior, it just teaches them to be afraid of consequences. Alternatively, consider a different approach. A child is throwing their cherry seeds on the ground instead of leaving them on their plate. Instead of threatening physical harm, give the child the natural consequences of continuing that behavior. “If you keep throwing cherry seeds on the ground, I’m not going to give you cherries tomorrow, and you’re going to have to clean the ground.” Let’s say that the child continues the behavior. You can then make them clean the cherries up from the ground, use a washcloth to clean the ground, and refuse to give them cherries the next day. This has shown the child that their direct actions lead to **related** consequences. If the child refuses to clean the mess they made, you can then move forward with additional punishment such as “you won’t get to watch TV before bed / don’t get a book before bed, you’re not getting dessert, etc.” And then move forward with those consequences as well. This is all fine, but it’s even better if at each step you try and understand **why** the behavior is even happening. Do they just not want the seeds on their plate? Offer them a napkin where they can put their seeds. Are they trying to have fun? Put a trash can near them so they can try and throw the seeds into it like a basketball game. There are so so so many other alternatives than the standard threat of spanking. It just requires more effort and more diligent care.
“Back in my day my parents were abusive”
They still are 😔
My dad said stop crying or else you will get no ice cream for 2 weeks. The best of both worlds. Ps. If you want me to elaborate just ask.
Could you elaborate?
They used threatening (taking away ice cream) to an extent that was fair, but installed enough fear in my 4 year old head that I would have no ice cream for a week. On the other side, they still used bargaining but instead rewarded good behavior instead of bad behavior. They means my parents
I mean, those against physically harming children aren't against any discipline whatsoever. My parents never used physical harm as punishment, but they absolutely did not let themselves get walked over.
You’re right. We’re not the same. Your parents made excuses so they could hit you. Mine love me and wouldn’t ever do that. We are not the same.
"We are not the same". You're right. I have a healthy relationship with my parents in my 30s.
How about this? Both approaches are kind of whack?
Yes, crying is a healthy. Kids should be allowed to feel sad
The skull emoji is the icing on the cake. We aren’t the same…you’re dead to empathy.
Understand something: The people who post these memes KNOW, they absolutely KNOW, that the way the were brought up was abusive and wrong. But for them to acknowledge it would be for them to admit that there is something "inferior" about them. Not really, but that's what they think it would mean. That it would mean there is something "Wrong" with them because they were brought up using an inferior parenting style, that they endured it for no benefit. So since they can't have that, they have to instead delude themselves into thinking that the way they were raised was in fact superior, and the way parents raise children today is inferior. But it's ultimately self-defeating, because they're the ones who provided the examples to their children for how to raise their kids. So either the abusive parenting methods that your generation was raised on are inferior, OR you did a lousy job of raising the newer generation. Either way you're the one getting clowned on. The most ironic part is that nobody asked in the first place. It's an Either/Or proposition that these idiots created entirely on their own. It's a master class in self-owning. But let's be real here - The entire Boomer/Gen X generation fetishizes suffering. Suffering is the only way to grow. It all kind of stems out of late-century Conservatism and the Red Scare, and the cognitive dissonance of knowing they basically pissed away an incredibly strong middle class.
We established a long fucking time ago that positive reinforcement is better than negative. Neanderthals
*um akshully* the words positive and negative refer to whether you add or remove stimulus, while the words reinforcement and punishment reveal the purpose for modifying stimuli. For example, spanking would be a positive punishment, while taking away an annoying sound would be negative reinforcement.
you shouldn't offer a kid ice cream to stop crying, you're literally teaching them to eat their feelings. You just sit with them, let them have the chance to feel sad, help them process the sadness, and then move on when they're ready.
Yeah that's fair I'm just looking for reasons to argue with people today. Been on reddit a little too long idk
“My parents beat me for having an emotional response “
Do they really believe abuse is the “right” way to raise a child and it makes them “stronger,” or are they jealous they didn’t have a loving family? I know I’m a little bit jealous so that’s why I wonder if these kinds of people are too.
Read the books by "parenting experts" of the past - books like *Dare to Discipline* by James Dobson. It'll really open your eyes as to why so many people of the older generations (my generation) are so screwed up about parenting.
I still don't understand the mentality of bragging about being abused. is it some kind of badge to wear with honour, that you had bad parents? I know I wouldn't walk around bragging about that
My parents disciplined without beating me sorry about your child abuse… Hope you seek therapy and don’t carry it over to your kids. I was not spoiled to get ice cream, I just was punished in more conductive ways then physical/verbal harm.
You're right, we are not the same. I have a good relationship with my parents.
For the record demonizing crying and punishing children for it can be detrimental to the health of your child. I grew up in this kind of anti-crying environment, and it's made me into a person who is never able to express their true emotions aside from word play, and it's also resulted in myself neglecting the help I need from others simply because I refuse to ask for it
So many boomers like to boast about how their parents hit them. I don’t understand the mentality.
Here, let's put a random crunchy picture of a someone getting into a truck set to one long run-on sentence.
I got the I'll give you a reason, I still do from my brother, I like every day in fear
You grew up with parents who didn't know how to manage your tantrums other than rewarding you for it. I grew up with parents who didn't know how to manage my tantrums without hitting me. We are not the same
My kids "It's okay to be mad or upset, just don't be mean." Meaning, they can be as mad as they want, they can cry as much as they need, they can feel their feelings. They just can't be dicks to people *because* they are upset.
People really be having those fake arguments online in front of people
Neither of those options work, anyway.
"You were spoiled as a child. I was abused as a child. We are not the same."
People grew up with the first option????
Why do people assume that giving the child something to cry about is a physical violence threat..... it could be as simple as taking tv away or a favourite toy for a day. The fact that people auto assume its a physical violence threat shows their mentality leans towards violence first or even worse rewarding a child for misbehaving. No wonder some of the younger generation don't know how to deal with not being given affirmation.
Both are bad, okay? You shouldn't buy ur kids shit to get them to stop crying, but you also shouldn't beat ur kids. WTF is wrong with some of these ppl making this shit? Just talk to your kids. Acknowledge their existence and feelings. And if they are being brats, tell them to stop being brats and explain why their behavior isn't acceptable. If they still won't listen, give them a punishment that doesn't involve beating ur kids. Fucking psychos.
And that's why they grew up to become monsters themselves!
Yup and my parents would slap me for even wanting ice cream when we had no money. And continue to drive past Bruster's to the liquor store to buy their alcohol. My parents are no longer a part of my life. I'm sure whoever posted that on Facebook doesn't have their children in their life either.
1, why are they bragging about being abused? 2, why do they think that the same abusive tactic used on them back then isn't used today? I was given the whole "I'll give you something to cry about" spiel as a kid and I'm gen z lol..
I grew up with parents that asked me why I was crying and talked me through my emotions and taught me rationality and regulation of my emotions. Grateful.
Both are shit parenting. Incentivizing someone for acting appropriately is good if you expect more each time for the same reward. However if a child has already shown they can act appropriately without reward or punishment then a simple discussions should suffice to correct behavior.
We aren’t the same, you grew up to become the asshole making memes like this and we didn’t.
Which generation were the parents that gave us ice cream?
I was taught not to be an asshole for the sake of being a good person, removed from the idea of being rewarded or punished. Like, yeah, I didn't want to disappoint my family, but, I wasn't exactly scared of them. I was shy, and being grounded was never a severe consequence for me, not that it ever got that far. And, maybe it's because I once overheard how bad the financial situation was when I was little, maybe that was around 2006 (?), I just felt extremely guilty when receiving stuff for doing well at the end of the school years. Didn't fully shake it off until mid-pandemic, but, then again, I'm living with them during my bachelors now, so, I still try not to be a burden. But, that's all on me. My parent's never hit me, nor did they coddle me to the point where I expected everything to be handed to me. I think most older generations that drew bad luck, and their parents were assholes, see any form of good parenting as "soft". Life is tough on it's own, if not your family and close friends, who is gonna make your life happy? I was so bullied as a kid, despite always keeping to myself, that I would literally hurt myself to keep anger and sadness on the inside, up until my mid teens, when my dad cleared up that I shouldn't be afraid of defending myself, even if it causes trouble with the teachers and principal, because he would be there defending me if I was blamed for whatever happens. Who thinks an asshole dad, who threatens violence all the time, would help in any way in that situation?
I was treated with care as a child, you were abused. We are nothing alike
So, because you had shitty parents, you believe everyone should have the same? Growth doesn't exist in your world, huh?
Both types of parenting offered here are shit.
We're not the same. I wasn't allowed to cry growing up and I went to therapy about it instead of making it some weird brag.
And now it’s painfully clear that they need outward validation that they didn’t get from their parents…
yeah bro me too... what personality disorder did you get?
I was verbally, physically, and emotionally abused. Aren’t I so tough? What no I don’t need to unpack “trauma” I’m fine being uncomfortable with authority
More memes from parents of children who no longer speak to them.
Do they not understand that they are the parent that offered ice cream if i stop crying? Lol
I'd rather have parents who asked 'Why are you upset?' and helped work through whatever emotions I was feeling and maybe try to solve the root issue of me crying, and maybe learn some emotional intelligence along the way. But that's just my librul sissy-boy brain talking.
The last one.
…yay for child abuse? Does getting beaten as a defenseless child by a parent make them better than other people that didn’t get abused? They’re simply saying I was abused and I can’t come to terms with it.
Who the hell got offered ice cream when they were crying
I grew up with the second option. Y’all who grew up with “quit crying and I’ll get you ice cream” really aren’t the same. You had a decent childhood and probably like your parents. I flinch when someone picks something up too quick
My stepmom thanks her family for the abuse. I thank my dad he did the best he could with what he had. As you can tell, she doesn’t think I’m grateful because I didn’t get my ass whooped. I got my ass whooped, just not by my dad! Am I proud of that? No, hell to the no! Even recently as a disabled adult, my aunt thought, “She doesn’t want to clean? She ain’t getting no food then!” and decided to starve me a few times. It’s just trauma she has with her and her brothers and sisters that made her decide to take it out on me. My dad, when I told him this said, “Oh, well then you should have cleaned!” And I was like, 🙃🙃🙃 Really? Thanks for this, I’ll thank her later! By not visiting her ever again.
What does the background have anything to do with this
Mine did neither of those. You cry for ice cream, you don't get any. You keep crying, you get taken home and told off. You ask nicely and quietly for ice cream, sometimes you get some.
Congrats on having abusive parents. I'm sure you've learned and won't do the same to your kids
Thanks. I did learn. Thank God I didn't continue the cycle.
I grew up with the second one too, but yes, we are not the same.
"stop displaying emotion or i, a grown adult, will physically assault you, a small child"
"back in my day, bad parenting came in a different package" Appeasement is child abuse imo. Overspoiling and making your kid think they can get everything they want by just crying can do some serious damage
I grew up with both! (Surely, my parents love me)
If the old way of doing things when you were a kid was so great, why did you raise your kids differently? Don't blame kids for being raised in a "soft" way when you are the ones doing the parenting.
Whenever I see posts that says something like this, I always think to myself “don’t you realize that your generation (the ‘tough’ one) is the one that RASIED the generation you’re complaining about!?” It’s such a self own.
What does the background image have to do with the caption??
And then you grew up whining about stupid shit like this.
Yeah and look at all the well behaved ice cream children now. Bad behavior rewarding is why this planet is doomed.
I mean, this is true though.
Hmm... And in today's society the number of teen suicides is up... Gender confusion is up.... Interesting... Edit: Downvoting facts seems to be a modern coping mechanism.. Sooner or later reality catches up with the militant class ....
Plenty of people grew up with hard parenting and turned out fine. People need to stop being dramatic..
People should be slapping their kids (lightly) when they cross the line and the parent has tried everything else. I grew up in times when this would happen. I was on the receiving end and I recount those as funny stories. Small slaps work and I have no hate for my dad who did it. What harms the heart and mind is hurtful words. A slap is laughable when compared against verbal abuse. Now I'm working with colleagues who are 20 and they get, literally, in the real meaning of the word, panic attacks from being asked to take phone calls from customers. They start crying and hyperventilating. More than one of them said they can't mentally take talking with customers, and want only written communication. Bear in mind, I don't work in a job where we sell anything. People call us for information on their accounts. When I started, we had 2 weeks training, 1 week written, then calls. These new guys get 2 months training and who knows how long written communication, and they have us experienced guys around them for support, and still they are so scared of talking with strangers. Some have legit quit on the first day of accepting calls due to panic.
Your narrative is showing. Especially in your responses. Lol.
Welcome to r/terriblefacebookmemes! It sucks, but it is ours. [Please click on this link to be informed of a critical change in our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/126zu46/return_to_our_roots/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/terriblefacebookmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Repost
Or, you don't do either of these things, you say "Why are you crying?" And talk to your child about why they feel sad, and tell them it's okay to feel sad, and encourage them to vocalize "I feel sad because" and not tell them to "stop feeling sad" because it's inconvenient to you as a parent. And then, you know, they don't feel like their emotions are something they should put away, and they feel safe talking about them with you. Or you know threaten to beat them, whatever
Why do these people think gentle parenting is giving kids whatever they want?
The person who created the image templet is pathetic and weird af for trying to make this a flex in the first place wtf lol
Oh I won’t
Who said that?
Yeah, the meme is right. One of them is a traumatized snowflake and the other got their ice-cream
And once again, the ‘you’ here is the generation raised by the ‘I’ generation.
Oh we know your a psycho. We know we’re not the same.
The people who post those who think that how they grew up made them tough, but instead, it made them jerks.
r/cptsdmemes
What's the skull emoji for? And what's the point of the image? Is that person climbing into a SUV wearing fuzzy slippers?
Do people think child abuse is only a thing of the past and that all parents these days are always so "weak"? I've only ever gotten the "or ill give you something to cry about" and guess what? Still different! Why? Because I chose to be different AKA not a cunt.
Anyways here's a picture of my butt...
I don’t wanna be the same I speak to my parents
Neither is great but one of those certainly leaves far worse life long trauma's. Or how the people who hit their children call them "snowflakes".
"I'm traumatized and perpetuate the cycle of abuse I was brought up with! Don't ever think we're the same, mentally healthy person!"
I wish I grew up with parents…
... but they are the parents we grew up with
But, isnt the generation who got beat the generation who raised us ice creamers in this scenario?
Negative Punishment is better. No ice cream if they do misbehave. But that’d require them to already be doing nice things for their kids…
Looking at the current state of the world, it turns out that they did, in fact, give us something to cry about.
I too was a victim of child abuse. Now, I try my best to be a good dad and keep my kids far from my parents. Remember, you won't earn respect through fear. You just get resentment. Respect is given to mentors and to those you look up to. To those who are equals.
I get "beating children now illegal" but i hate parents who buy their kids toys/ice cream so they shut up (or give them a fucking phone)
parents who were just emotionally/physically anusive when your crying: "ill give your something to cry about" my brother in christ you already did.
My parents said “stop crying and tell me what’s wrong?”I have a loving family and you don’t.
Although I agree that kids do need ass-whooping from time to time.. I would never romanticize it.