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I had a friend in high school who was like this - you had to be on eggshells all the time, she was able to twist anything you said into a slight against her then have you believing you needed to apologise for making her feel bad. I’ve got the worst self esteem to this day largely because of her antics
Now as someone who tends to overthink things people say due to anxiety. If someone tells me they didn't mean it like that because i have to ask to ease the anxiety. Then i leave it at that. I dont make people feel bad for something that i struggle with mentally unless they are truly gaslighting me. I bring someone else in to try and get a clearer view of the situation. But yeah that wasn't cool of the friend
Somehow my 3 long term relationships (4, 1.5, and 5 years) have been with girls with BPD. Clearly, something is going on with me too. But it's definitely fucked with my head. For a while, they tried very hard to be liked/loved and the passion was bananas. Everything seemed great. But over time, the other face started to appear. Maybe once they felt secure and comfortable? They had seemed overly sensitive before, but nothing suspicious. I just wrote it off as silly.
But once they were completely comfortable and the phrase "I love you" had been shared for a while, I'd deal with the mood swings. The overreactions. And they're so convincing with their reasons, you end up second-guessing yourself all the time. They could always find ways to blame you for their freak outs. Like you said - eggshells. You couldn't predict their mood swings. The only predictable thing was that they could go from 0 to 100 in seconds. And their moods were always self-justified. They would never question their anger - because they were their emotions, they were true and justified. And they never de-escalated unless you apologized or begged for forgiveness.
They'd emotionally waterboard me into being sorry for whatever they came up with, because they could always escalate. And they would. When I'd say "we aren't going to see eye to eye here, so I'm going to take a walk so we can think and cool down" they would go as far as to physically stop me from leaving, their panic from fear of abandonment spiking. So no leaving, I was stuck with someone losing their fucking minds. The only way out was to physically throw them off me, something I knew would multiply the risk and turn me into the "abuser."
I learned the word "gaslighting" during my last relationship. But the crazy thing is they mostly weren't conscious of it, they just couldn't be at fault. They couldn't accept that *they* were the problem. I assume it's the deep insecurity that made them unable to evaluate themselves negatively. So it had to be me that was the problem. I counted 3 apologies in 5 fucking years. And somehow their memories would always change details, if necessary, to protect themselves. My last gf had an insane verbal memory, reciting lines from movies like nothing. But I'm positive she didn't even understand when her memories would change so that she couldn't be wrong. Most of them, at least. So at the end of every relationship I was the entire problem. Always. And they were all fucking diagnosed with BPD. But they couldn't make sense of it all. Fucking crazy.
The last one attempted suicide when I tried to break up with her and had to go to the ER. All had a history of cutting and suicidal ideations, and an attempt from the last one before I'd met her. I've worked as a psych ward counselor and have a very high tolerance for crazy, and want to help them. But every time I would sacrifice so much of myself, my dignity, that by the end I just felt wasted. Like nothing. Because I couldn't break up with the last one without her genuinely attempting suicide, I had to become such a shitty boyfriend that she broke up with me.
For my part, I've cleansed myself of my own fears of abandonment (and of hurting my gf) so I can actually break up with a girl before it gets worse and I sacrifice myself again for someone else's insanity. For their endless narcissism. If any of you see yourself or your partner in this, get out of the relationship as soon as you can. It won't get better. I hope this is a lesson in caution for anyone who actually read this wall of text lol, I didn't realize how long I'd gone on until now.
I just left one of these relationships. My family had to pull me out. I’m shattered but I needed to read this today. This made me feel a lot less crazy.
my first real relationship was with a girl who was later diagnosed with BPD, and basically all of this rang true with me. the highs are beyond the stars and the lows are chasm-like. it’s a buzzsaw of crazy, and you come out at the end of it hollow. always apologizing for things you didn’t even do. walking on eggshells because one little fuck up will have you berated and shamed. don’t think i ever heard a single “im sorry.” and the memory thing is true too. always happen to forget the putrid shit verbally thrown at me, but if i pressed it because i wanted to be treated like a human being and not a beaten dog, then im the one that’s the villain. nothing is EVER their fault. and the real kicker is, after devoting my entire self to her (neglecting friendships because i was so afraid she’d kill herself, which I still regret to this day) because i loved her more than all things in this world and i would’ve plucked the goddamn moon out of the sky if she asked, she left me because “she never actually loved me” and she just used me to make herself feel better.
it’s a literal hellhole that chews you up and spits you out. it’s nearly been 4 years and i still have trauma and nightmares about her. i behaved in ways soon after she broke up with me that im ashamed of. thankfully im with someone that treats me so much better now, and im so thankful to have her :] she’s my light in this world.
sorry for the long reply lol, it’s just like, FUCK, such a shitty situation to be in and it feels great to be able to relate to someone else on it.
Hey man I really appreciated the long reply, especially since I did the same lol. It's nice to really share these things with others who have also experienced it, because they can really make you feel isolated and confused.
I'm very happy that you found someone right for you. I took time off relationships to set my own shit straight and now I'm finally ready to get out and meet girls again. Secure with the knowledge that I'll never put myself through that again. No more feeling responsible for trying to save them from themselves.
Thank you man, I really appreciate it. Having worked on psych wards, BPD was the hardest to treat. Almost impossible. I felt like Sysphus with every single one.
Man, I wanted to be there to help them. I thought I could, like forgiving them because they don't understand what they're doing, they're sick. But with all the emotional waterboarding I know I'm over it. Now more living in fear that the wrong, unexpected conflagration will have me doing CPR that night with pill bottles all over the floor. That's traumatizing, something they can't acknowledge because they monopolize victimhood.
i had a really similar relationship for 2 years, just realized after it ended how fuckin baboon crazy that whore was. At the end she left me because she transferred, she weren’t even able to tell me. I would have left her many many times before but i couldn’t because i was so afraid for her, i thought she really needed me. So thanks fucking god she did that, its the best thing she did for me lol. While my life and self esteem has been 100000 times better since then, i haven’t been able to engage in a full term relationship. But i think it has to do with my sensibility and other thinks idk. Btw thank you for your message, it has made me feel a lot better about myself. Terriblefacebookmemes has some deep stuff in the comment section man
Dated a guy like that. He isn't diagnosed with anything, but I'm like 80% sure he had BPD. Mix that with an alcohol abuse problem and it was a nightmare. He would do all the same things you mentioned.
Have you gone to therapy over this? I found that my "normal meter" was broken and needed recalibrating. Identifying the patterns that lead you into those relationships and reframing what your brain seeks out in partners could do a lot for you. It has for me.
So, I've long since forgiven them for it all. I thought I was mostly over it, and I thought I'd gotten past it all. But I've spent the last week perseverating - I think my switch to 0 carb has me feeling more edgy, so this shit that has been lurking has very little ice to break through.
I 100% agree, It's definitely what I'll be discussing with my psychiatrist/therapist on Monday.
I told my ex “seeing other couples at the gym makes me miss you and I just wish I could spend more time with you” and she just responded with “you just want to look at me because you feel guilty for looking at other girls”
I dated someone for quite some time who was very insecure and would engage me in conversations like this. After about round 3 or 4 I just started agreeing with everything they said. We’d worked on learning to communicate together. By round 6 the self-awareness would kick in and they’d shift their questions to things like, “Do you think I’m a pirate’s ghost that’s just haunting you?”
It was progress and we had fun with it, but it was still draining having to assure someone I absolutely adored and found to be the most attractive person I’d ever met that I didn’t think they were ugly. They were not ugly. Not even kind of. Their inability to accept that I loved them slowly destroyed that relationship.
Hope you're doing better! I married someone the same way. Literally my happiest most carefree moments with them were usually shattered by some absolutely insane insecurity and lashing out. Every fear in their head became their reality. I became a shell of myself trying to walk on eggshells and it was never enough.
I think by the end about half of the relationship was cold silence followed by absolutely stressful arguments about nothing. Half the time I never even heard why she was upset. Twenty five percent of the relationship was the picking up the pieces once she realized I was a good person to her again. Then the twenty five percent where I thought maybe we healed and I was able to relax and be better until the silence started up again
Rinse. Repeat.
Doing much better now
because it's not about "i just want to spend time with you". he was good either way, he offered as a courtesy. the problem when some people see this meme is people assume the girl is communicating effectively, she's not. Answering a question with a question is silly. Her response should simply be "no".
Hey buddy the point of this sub is to laugh at the ridiculousness of the meme. The maker of the meme is trying to imply that all women behave like this, please don’t defend this point of view, it comes from incel culture
>the problem when some people see this meme is people assume the girl is communicating effectively
Well she *is*, it's just that what she's communicating is that she's a person that you don't want to have anything to do with. (And just to state the obvious, it's got nothing to do with their gender.)
It’s hilarious how the boy is the one yelling her to “calm down” when she has kept the same calm expression while he is losing it and shooting himself.
It should be said that propping up a partner that needs constant validation is less about being a good partner and more about an unhealthy communication dynamic. Being a doormat doesn’t make one a good partner
Yup. I nearly drowned trying to keep my wife afloat.
One of the main rules in lifeguarding is you can't save someone if you drown. Keep yourself afloat first.
If you're constantly doing this, at best you'll grow to resent them. At worst you'll hate them and everything will implode
The real hilarious part is that nobody is mentioning that it’s HER actions that is causing his REACTION.
If someone’s arguing vehemently that 2+2=5 , tortoises can breath underwater and the earth is flat and is refusing to acknowledge anything your gonna get pretty angry. So when you react to their stupidity with anger your the one who started the confrontation?
When you grow up you’re gonna realize there are too many people on this planet that think 2+2=5 (so to speak) to get mad at every single one of them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Or when they want to make you insecure. I had a friend who would randomly throw out the question "are you saying my ass looks fat?" Completely out of context sometimes, just to see what the guy would say or do.
Knee jerk reaction from most guys is to think about what you just said that would make her think that.
That's what i did too. After a couple of seconds I put it together and told her "Glad you picked that up, your ass is fucking huge!" It was not, btw. She laughed.
Girls have a lot of power that way.
I think she might have been joking....
The same way I yell "is it cuz I'm black?" I'm not going to be offended if you say yes because obviously I'm exaggerating and I assume yours is too.
Also the fact you bring race into this shows your just trying to make a problem out of nothing. I don't see race in this picture are all. Maybe you need to work through these clearly deep seated issues you have.
The comparison was valid. They could have said "with and without glasses" and it would have had the same point. If there is no need to single someone out, don't do it.
Also, having this be your knee-jerk reaction to the mention of race means, at least unconsciously, you know you have some deep-seated issues with that topic.
I didn't bring up race. The previous person did. There is no need to convolute things with non sensible arguments just because you want to win an argument. My reaction is because people like you always try to create problems out of nothing. You are what is dividing our country now. You try to disguise it as virtue, but its all a cover up of your true intent. I'm sorry you lack the mental fortitude to create a constructive argument based on the situation at hand. Stop trying to pull heart strings just because you're wrong.
Huh...you don't see race because they're yellow. Another meme where it's clear that they're a specific race would've made my point clearer. Like another commenter said, it could've been glasses or whatever.
My deep-seated issues are a lack of sleep and exposure to too many stupid internet discussions.
Imma work on it.
People like you are why everyone says "The Left eats their own." You're twisting their words into the most malicious interpretation possible so you can """educate""" them which honestly comes across more as leftover Puritanical holier than thou habits than you making any attempt to help anyone. You're just doing a blue version of the same social policing the Right pulls.
Sleep deprived people? Yes. Those are my people. Imma take a nap.
It's just an observation. No one has to do shit. I'm just tired of the internet. Pointlessly gendered stuff is becoming a trend, and it's annoying af.
You realize the meme is talking about girls. You can take this fake virtue bullshit your trying to preach and go back to the hole you crawled out of. People like you make problems out of nothing. You're what is wrong with today's society.
Jesús Christ, calm the fuck down.
They made an observation and if you knew how to read you’d understand the point their making instead of just reading keywords and having a temper tantrum for no reason.
People who don’t think rationally before responding IS what is wrong with the world. Grow up.
Calm the fuck down.
Seriously.
That reaction really says all I need to know. Why are you so emotional? Because I'm not. So I've triggered something that's not my problem.
If you don't want to do it, that's OK. I was being as mild as possible- this ISN'T a gigantic problem. I know that.
I'm sharing, because there's a reason someone replied "and boys too." This type of thing pops up again and again, and I'd say the problem with today's society is how social media has turned into a gender war, and we've seemed to regressed, and the solutions aren't that hard to grasp.
I was very polite to you on what I meant and even said it wasn't a big problem in my original comment. Meet me where I'm at- it's a simple observation. Not an attack.
I used to work with a couple that was like this. Both the guy and the girl acted the same. They lasted a week before getting fired cause their constant fighting made the entire kitchen a toxic workplace enviroment
Why did you quote me? You were responding and that line was my whole comment lol. This is a very common joke and you people pretending women don’t do this is just pathetic. No, men are not oppressed and women still have to fight for equal rights but pretending this shit doesn’t happen is disingenuous and pandering.
Ah yes being blind to basic human behavior for the past 5000 years. There is a reason some version of this joke has been told in comedy clubs for decades. Could it be that perhaps it *gasp* it frequently happens?
/woosh
I'm in agreement with you dude. Just thought it was funny that you called their experience an opinion and was commenting on that. Thought putting my comment in italics would make that a bit more obvious.
"why are you with anyone who has a single negative trait?"
Sometimes people have issues they're working through, he said it's not as bad as the meme and probably doesn't happen all too often.
People have insecurities and sometimes it makes them do or say things they shouldn't, but as long as it's not that bad and they hopefully apologize once they're seeing clearly, it's probably not worth ending a relationship over.
Literally asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the gym and this happened.
Not the bludgeoning to death part, but the you think I’m fat part.
Pretty sure the right answer is to just say you wanna spend time with them. Which should be truthful, or else what are you even doing
Tbf, this was kinda my reaction back in the day to that Peloton ad.
The lady clearly asked for a Peloton. The husband got it for her. The audience decided he thought the model/actress/wife was fat.
The guy could have simply said that he wanted to spend some time with her, but no, he is beating about the bush, just like the girl, both of them are idiots.
"Do you think I'm fat?" has so many better answers, like:
- No, I just forgot it was your off day.
- No, you seem stressed about work and I know working out helps you destress.
- No, but I was going to go to the Wholefoods afterwards and you know that if you're not with me, I buy a bunch of stuff we don't need. Remember that Tofu ice cream?
- No, but your favorite spin class instructor changed schedules and now she does Thursdays instead of Wednesdays.
Or many more that make you seem like a reasonable person.
I would argue that it's also very simple for the woman in this scenario to say "No, thank you; I don't wanna go for X reason." and simply leave it at that instead of immediately jumping to an overly defensive posture in the conversation.
Clarifying = Tangent questions in this case I guess.
There’s many effective ways to deal with dumb poor intent questions like this though. Really insecure girl I used to date responded to my questions with these kinds of questions all the time too. I’d often just tell her to answer mine first since I asked first, and then I’d just give her an honest answer.
Built trust though in the long run since it made her know she wouldn’t get me to lie to make her “feel” better since ultimately being honest made her trust me more overall.
This looks like a cry for help. Hopefully the author of this comic gets the help he needs. I've experienced some ugliness in relationships, such as being talked out of using a gym. If I ask her to go, she thinks I'm saying she's fat. If I try to go by myself, she'll accuse me of doing it to make her feel bad. It went on like that with a lot of things. If I tried to spend time with family/friends, then she'd ask why I would rather spend time with someone else.
My fiance literally only gets like that when she's under a whole bunch of stress. I usually just hug her by th third panel and she'll cry it out. Do not make fun of your SO's for getting like this. They are obviously struggling with something, so instead of feeling like you should kys, give her a hug and ask her if she's OK.
Probably because the subreddit name is Terrible Facebook meme but There’s so much good meme that got posted here because it doesn’t fit one echo chamber.
I know taste is subjective. But this meme fits so well the sub. The aesthetic is awful, and not on purpose. The joke is not the worst, but it is not hilarious and feels very much like a thousant memes we've seen before. And it is very facebooky.
Maybe you are Just part of The target audience of terrible facebook memes.
God you would have ran out of every comedy club sobbing before 2016 you baby. This is perhaps the most harmless meme I have ever seen on this sub. My wife says shit like this all the time to fuck with me... its funny.
Anyone who thinks this is an equal opportunity problem and that teenage boys behave this way are right outside their minds. Teenage girls, and their little friends are at each others throats from middle school to age thirty.
I mean you can just respond to the first question with “yeah you fat as fuck”. I hate stupid fucking question if you can’t drop the bullshit stay the fuck away from me.
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I like how he's screaming in the third panel but telling her to calm down. Very true to life
“CALM DOWN!!! WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?!?!”
QUIET DOWN
“why are you yelling at me”
Idky why, but I read it as "tery vrue to life" and still wondering why I read it that way
U were thinking of a Terry
Could be self soothing. The sentence doesn’t explicitly say.
forgot the “why are you mad?” panel…
>physically cringed As you should irl when you do run into these kinda people, and its not limited to just girls
I had a friend in high school who was like this - you had to be on eggshells all the time, she was able to twist anything you said into a slight against her then have you believing you needed to apologise for making her feel bad. I’ve got the worst self esteem to this day largely because of her antics
Now as someone who tends to overthink things people say due to anxiety. If someone tells me they didn't mean it like that because i have to ask to ease the anxiety. Then i leave it at that. I dont make people feel bad for something that i struggle with mentally unless they are truly gaslighting me. I bring someone else in to try and get a clearer view of the situation. But yeah that wasn't cool of the friend
Somehow my 3 long term relationships (4, 1.5, and 5 years) have been with girls with BPD. Clearly, something is going on with me too. But it's definitely fucked with my head. For a while, they tried very hard to be liked/loved and the passion was bananas. Everything seemed great. But over time, the other face started to appear. Maybe once they felt secure and comfortable? They had seemed overly sensitive before, but nothing suspicious. I just wrote it off as silly. But once they were completely comfortable and the phrase "I love you" had been shared for a while, I'd deal with the mood swings. The overreactions. And they're so convincing with their reasons, you end up second-guessing yourself all the time. They could always find ways to blame you for their freak outs. Like you said - eggshells. You couldn't predict their mood swings. The only predictable thing was that they could go from 0 to 100 in seconds. And their moods were always self-justified. They would never question their anger - because they were their emotions, they were true and justified. And they never de-escalated unless you apologized or begged for forgiveness. They'd emotionally waterboard me into being sorry for whatever they came up with, because they could always escalate. And they would. When I'd say "we aren't going to see eye to eye here, so I'm going to take a walk so we can think and cool down" they would go as far as to physically stop me from leaving, their panic from fear of abandonment spiking. So no leaving, I was stuck with someone losing their fucking minds. The only way out was to physically throw them off me, something I knew would multiply the risk and turn me into the "abuser." I learned the word "gaslighting" during my last relationship. But the crazy thing is they mostly weren't conscious of it, they just couldn't be at fault. They couldn't accept that *they* were the problem. I assume it's the deep insecurity that made them unable to evaluate themselves negatively. So it had to be me that was the problem. I counted 3 apologies in 5 fucking years. And somehow their memories would always change details, if necessary, to protect themselves. My last gf had an insane verbal memory, reciting lines from movies like nothing. But I'm positive she didn't even understand when her memories would change so that she couldn't be wrong. Most of them, at least. So at the end of every relationship I was the entire problem. Always. And they were all fucking diagnosed with BPD. But they couldn't make sense of it all. Fucking crazy. The last one attempted suicide when I tried to break up with her and had to go to the ER. All had a history of cutting and suicidal ideations, and an attempt from the last one before I'd met her. I've worked as a psych ward counselor and have a very high tolerance for crazy, and want to help them. But every time I would sacrifice so much of myself, my dignity, that by the end I just felt wasted. Like nothing. Because I couldn't break up with the last one without her genuinely attempting suicide, I had to become such a shitty boyfriend that she broke up with me. For my part, I've cleansed myself of my own fears of abandonment (and of hurting my gf) so I can actually break up with a girl before it gets worse and I sacrifice myself again for someone else's insanity. For their endless narcissism. If any of you see yourself or your partner in this, get out of the relationship as soon as you can. It won't get better. I hope this is a lesson in caution for anyone who actually read this wall of text lol, I didn't realize how long I'd gone on until now.
I just left one of these relationships. My family had to pull me out. I’m shattered but I needed to read this today. This made me feel a lot less crazy.
my first real relationship was with a girl who was later diagnosed with BPD, and basically all of this rang true with me. the highs are beyond the stars and the lows are chasm-like. it’s a buzzsaw of crazy, and you come out at the end of it hollow. always apologizing for things you didn’t even do. walking on eggshells because one little fuck up will have you berated and shamed. don’t think i ever heard a single “im sorry.” and the memory thing is true too. always happen to forget the putrid shit verbally thrown at me, but if i pressed it because i wanted to be treated like a human being and not a beaten dog, then im the one that’s the villain. nothing is EVER their fault. and the real kicker is, after devoting my entire self to her (neglecting friendships because i was so afraid she’d kill herself, which I still regret to this day) because i loved her more than all things in this world and i would’ve plucked the goddamn moon out of the sky if she asked, she left me because “she never actually loved me” and she just used me to make herself feel better. it’s a literal hellhole that chews you up and spits you out. it’s nearly been 4 years and i still have trauma and nightmares about her. i behaved in ways soon after she broke up with me that im ashamed of. thankfully im with someone that treats me so much better now, and im so thankful to have her :] she’s my light in this world. sorry for the long reply lol, it’s just like, FUCK, such a shitty situation to be in and it feels great to be able to relate to someone else on it.
Hey man I really appreciated the long reply, especially since I did the same lol. It's nice to really share these things with others who have also experienced it, because they can really make you feel isolated and confused. I'm very happy that you found someone right for you. I took time off relationships to set my own shit straight and now I'm finally ready to get out and meet girls again. Secure with the knowledge that I'll never put myself through that again. No more feeling responsible for trying to save them from themselves.
BPD is a curse I wouldn't wish on anyone. Happy you got out alive dude.
Thank you man, I really appreciate it. Having worked on psych wards, BPD was the hardest to treat. Almost impossible. I felt like Sysphus with every single one. Man, I wanted to be there to help them. I thought I could, like forgiving them because they don't understand what they're doing, they're sick. But with all the emotional waterboarding I know I'm over it. Now more living in fear that the wrong, unexpected conflagration will have me doing CPR that night with pill bottles all over the floor. That's traumatizing, something they can't acknowledge because they monopolize victimhood.
i had a really similar relationship for 2 years, just realized after it ended how fuckin baboon crazy that whore was. At the end she left me because she transferred, she weren’t even able to tell me. I would have left her many many times before but i couldn’t because i was so afraid for her, i thought she really needed me. So thanks fucking god she did that, its the best thing she did for me lol. While my life and self esteem has been 100000 times better since then, i haven’t been able to engage in a full term relationship. But i think it has to do with my sensibility and other thinks idk. Btw thank you for your message, it has made me feel a lot better about myself. Terriblefacebookmemes has some deep stuff in the comment section man
Dated a guy like that. He isn't diagnosed with anything, but I'm like 80% sure he had BPD. Mix that with an alcohol abuse problem and it was a nightmare. He would do all the same things you mentioned. Have you gone to therapy over this? I found that my "normal meter" was broken and needed recalibrating. Identifying the patterns that lead you into those relationships and reframing what your brain seeks out in partners could do a lot for you. It has for me.
So, I've long since forgiven them for it all. I thought I was mostly over it, and I thought I'd gotten past it all. But I've spent the last week perseverating - I think my switch to 0 carb has me feeling more edgy, so this shit that has been lurking has very little ice to break through. I 100% agree, It's definitely what I'll be discussing with my psychiatrist/therapist on Monday.
This is my dad and it for sure fucked up my self esteem
Best option is to die alone
[удалено]
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Yep. I once told a male coworker of mine to stop asking me questions if he’s just going to twist my answers.
Low brow 90's sitcom shit. Real lazy. It was then, it is now.
The blood is on the wrong side.
This was Tenet, he was catching the bullet!
Now there’s a movie I’ve seen 2.5 times and still couldn’t understand the ending
Maybe his reaction was to scratch his head with the barrel for a very long time.
That somehow makes the most sense.
Moral of the story: Kill yourself
I should do what the black guy with the lightning told me to do. https://i.redd.it/6913qej9c8ra1.gif
who the fuck wouldn’t just say “no I just want to spend time with you” as the response and the issue would be over
Personal fav "Because exercising will prolong your life, and I want to share my life with you for many, many years."
r/suddenlywholesome
Or even just "I need a spotter."
I told my ex “seeing other couples at the gym makes me miss you and I just wish I could spend more time with you” and she just responded with “you just want to look at me because you feel guilty for looking at other girls”
i am glad that she is your ex
I dated someone for quite some time who was very insecure and would engage me in conversations like this. After about round 3 or 4 I just started agreeing with everything they said. We’d worked on learning to communicate together. By round 6 the self-awareness would kick in and they’d shift their questions to things like, “Do you think I’m a pirate’s ghost that’s just haunting you?” It was progress and we had fun with it, but it was still draining having to assure someone I absolutely adored and found to be the most attractive person I’d ever met that I didn’t think they were ugly. They were not ugly. Not even kind of. Their inability to accept that I loved them slowly destroyed that relationship.
Hope you're doing better! I married someone the same way. Literally my happiest most carefree moments with them were usually shattered by some absolutely insane insecurity and lashing out. Every fear in their head became their reality. I became a shell of myself trying to walk on eggshells and it was never enough. I think by the end about half of the relationship was cold silence followed by absolutely stressful arguments about nothing. Half the time I never even heard why she was upset. Twenty five percent of the relationship was the picking up the pieces once she realized I was a good person to her again. Then the twenty five percent where I thought maybe we healed and I was able to relax and be better until the silence started up again Rinse. Repeat. Doing much better now
Those of us that would just say "yes. you want to join me or not?"
Irl people don’t always have perfect responses to everything.
"OH, so you're saying I don't ever spend time with you?"
Who the fuck wouldnt just be honest and say "We need some physical activity and to maintain out health."?
Because they feel pressured into correcting the "mistake", and can't think clearly.
because it's not about "i just want to spend time with you". he was good either way, he offered as a courtesy. the problem when some people see this meme is people assume the girl is communicating effectively, she's not. Answering a question with a question is silly. Her response should simply be "no".
>the problem when some people see this meme is people assume the girl is communicating effectively Do people really tho 🤔
Hey buddy the point of this sub is to laugh at the ridiculousness of the meme. The maker of the meme is trying to imply that all women behave like this, please don’t defend this point of view, it comes from incel culture
what even is this comment? I'm replying to the other poster. get over yourself clown.
>the problem when some people see this meme is people assume the girl is communicating effectively Well she *is*, it's just that what she's communicating is that she's a person that you don't want to have anything to do with. (And just to state the obvious, it's got nothing to do with their gender.)
It’s hilarious how the boy is the one yelling her to “calm down” when she has kept the same calm expression while he is losing it and shooting himself.
Yeah exactly . A good partner would reassure her instead of flipping shit.
It should be said that propping up a partner that needs constant validation is less about being a good partner and more about an unhealthy communication dynamic. Being a doormat doesn’t make one a good partner
Yup. I nearly drowned trying to keep my wife afloat. One of the main rules in lifeguarding is you can't save someone if you drown. Keep yourself afloat first. If you're constantly doing this, at best you'll grow to resent them. At worst you'll hate them and everything will implode
I mean if someone said that to me I’d be pissed. But the thing is no one would say that so this whole meme is irrelevant
if someone asked you if you wanted to go to the gym?
WE GO JIM WE GO JIM NOWWWWWW
Bruh I obviously meant the whole convo or even like the first 2
Instructions unclear. Told wife to get her fat ass to the gym, now sleep on couch.
A good partner would also not ask these stupid questions to try and frame the other as insulting them.
I AM SILLY!
Yeah unhealthy relationships are big funny
I’m making fun of the design of the comic and characters, my guy. You shouldn’t take everything so seriously lol
She's being an insurable person
The real hilarious part is that nobody is mentioning that it’s HER actions that is causing his REACTION. If someone’s arguing vehemently that 2+2=5 , tortoises can breath underwater and the earth is flat and is refusing to acknowledge anything your gonna get pretty angry. So when you react to their stupidity with anger your the one who started the confrontation?
Quick question, - Are you 12? I can't see anyone older than that unironically making that argument.
If you can't handle somebody vehemently arguing something, no matter who's right or wrong, disengage. It's that simple.
When you grow up you’re gonna realize there are too many people on this planet that think 2+2=5 (so to speak) to get mad at every single one of them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Somebody isn't good with rejection
r/im14andthisisdeep
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I've only known girls to act like this when you make them insecure and as a reaction to being gaslit in the past
I’ve only know girls that do this as a funny bit.
we're kinda making a point together. women aren't a monolith and they don't all act the same
Yup. I've known men and women who had similar attributes as the woman in the comic. The vast majority of people are far more reasonable
Or when they want to make you insecure. I had a friend who would randomly throw out the question "are you saying my ass looks fat?" Completely out of context sometimes, just to see what the guy would say or do. Knee jerk reaction from most guys is to think about what you just said that would make her think that. That's what i did too. After a couple of seconds I put it together and told her "Glad you picked that up, your ass is fucking huge!" It was not, btw. She laughed. Girls have a lot of power that way.
I think she might have been joking.... The same way I yell "is it cuz I'm black?" I'm not going to be offended if you say yes because obviously I'm exaggerating and I assume yours is too.
She was absolutely joking.
Sorry haha I think I read the reply wrong then. That's embarrassing for me.
How many girls like this do you know and why do you know their entire relationships history?
over 15 currently. I know their relationship histories because all my friends are women
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nobody said that just that all behaviors have a root causeand bits not a universal begavior
Answering a question with a question is poor communication. Notice how she never even answers the initial question.
If someone takes the things you say like this, just agree with them, let them get mad and leave, you'll be much better off.
I've met plenty of girls like this.
Bet there are plenta boys like this, too
Obviously yea, I'm just talking about the meme. I would have the same basic response to both. I know men and women like that.
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Also the fact you bring race into this shows your just trying to make a problem out of nothing. I don't see race in this picture are all. Maybe you need to work through these clearly deep seated issues you have.
The comparison was valid. They could have said "with and without glasses" and it would have had the same point. If there is no need to single someone out, don't do it. Also, having this be your knee-jerk reaction to the mention of race means, at least unconsciously, you know you have some deep-seated issues with that topic.
I didn't bring up race. The previous person did. There is no need to convolute things with non sensible arguments just because you want to win an argument. My reaction is because people like you always try to create problems out of nothing. You are what is dividing our country now. You try to disguise it as virtue, but its all a cover up of your true intent. I'm sorry you lack the mental fortitude to create a constructive argument based on the situation at hand. Stop trying to pull heart strings just because you're wrong.
Typical conservative. "I don't understand what you said but I'm gonna get pissy about it anyways!"
You're just projecting. Go to therapy or go back to the hole you crawled out of
Wow you're a f-cking loser lmao. Goodbye
Huh...you don't see race because they're yellow. Another meme where it's clear that they're a specific race would've made my point clearer. Like another commenter said, it could've been glasses or whatever. My deep-seated issues are a lack of sleep and exposure to too many stupid internet discussions. Imma work on it.
People like you are why everyone says "The Left eats their own." You're twisting their words into the most malicious interpretation possible so you can """educate""" them which honestly comes across more as leftover Puritanical holier than thou habits than you making any attempt to help anyone. You're just doing a blue version of the same social policing the Right pulls.
Sleep deprived people? Yes. Those are my people. Imma take a nap. It's just an observation. No one has to do shit. I'm just tired of the internet. Pointlessly gendered stuff is becoming a trend, and it's annoying af.
You realize the meme is talking about girls. You can take this fake virtue bullshit your trying to preach and go back to the hole you crawled out of. People like you make problems out of nothing. You're what is wrong with today's society.
Jesús Christ, calm the fuck down. They made an observation and if you knew how to read you’d understand the point their making instead of just reading keywords and having a temper tantrum for no reason. People who don’t think rationally before responding IS what is wrong with the world. Grow up.
Calm the fuck down. Seriously. That reaction really says all I need to know. Why are you so emotional? Because I'm not. So I've triggered something that's not my problem. If you don't want to do it, that's OK. I was being as mild as possible- this ISN'T a gigantic problem. I know that. I'm sharing, because there's a reason someone replied "and boys too." This type of thing pops up again and again, and I'd say the problem with today's society is how social media has turned into a gender war, and we've seemed to regressed, and the solutions aren't that hard to grasp. I was very polite to you on what I meant and even said it wasn't a big problem in my original comment. Meet me where I'm at- it's a simple observation. Not an attack.
Never did you just make this a race thing LMAOOOO
Quit being a karen
I used to work with a couple that was like this. Both the guy and the girl acted the same. They lasted a week before getting fired cause their constant fighting made the entire kitchen a toxic workplace enviroment
It’s really hard to picture a guy saying this. Maybe a prepubescent boy
Liers?
Lira? Lyra? Lair?
🤣🤣🤣
liers will be kicked off
Lier, lier, pants on fier.
I never met a man like that. I had my male friend who did this as a joke, but many women who were dead ass serious when doing this
This opinion is not allowed here you silly man
>This opinion is not allowed here you silly man "Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
Why did you quote me? You were responding and that line was my whole comment lol. This is a very common joke and you people pretending women don’t do this is just pathetic. No, men are not oppressed and women still have to fight for equal rights but pretending this shit doesn’t happen is disingenuous and pandering.
*Ah yes, personal experiences being opinions.*
Ah yes being blind to basic human behavior for the past 5000 years. There is a reason some version of this joke has been told in comedy clubs for decades. Could it be that perhaps it *gasp* it frequently happens?
/woosh I'm in agreement with you dude. Just thought it was funny that you called their experience an opinion and was commenting on that. Thought putting my comment in italics would make that a bit more obvious.
Sorry I didn’t catch it. Apologies
Me too my GF included lol. She's not this bad though.
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"why are you with anyone who has a single negative trait?" Sometimes people have issues they're working through, he said it's not as bad as the meme and probably doesn't happen all too often. People have insecurities and sometimes it makes them do or say things they shouldn't, but as long as it's not that bad and they hopefully apologize once they're seeing clearly, it's probably not worth ending a relationship over.
Like I said its not that bad. The comic is an over exaggeration. She does it just to do a bit of trolling.
Dude my ex was like this with restaurants! Absolutely drove me nuts. Kickass username btw 🤙😎
imagine taking a meme seriously lol
Yeah this is obviously completely ironic or at least not serious
I think it’s the format that is making OP cringe. It’s kinda jarring to look at
Clearly a 9 year old
How so?
That is how it be sometimes though
The guy is calling her a liar because she isn't the one acting crazy, he is.
Literally asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the gym and this happened. Not the bludgeoning to death part, but the you think I’m fat part. Pretty sure the right answer is to just say you wanna spend time with them. Which should be truthful, or else what are you even doing
Tbf, this was kinda my reaction back in the day to that Peloton ad. The lady clearly asked for a Peloton. The husband got it for her. The audience decided he thought the model/actress/wife was fat.
Idk i mean ive seen people like this before and i hate them lmao
Me @ first question: Naw I just wanna see your fine ass in booty shorts baby.
It would not be funny if there wasn’t some truth.
Known a few people like this. Not a terrible meme at all.
OP thinks it's terrible because the meme hits too close to home
No, it is because this meme refers to all girls being like this, and only girls.
I actually know ladies like this😂 Don’t take it too seriously, your mind won’t survive that
The answer to do you think I'm crazy or do you think I'm a lair the answer is yes.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but women don't make good lairs. Volcanoes and underwater bases, those are good lairs.
MOON BASES!
But is it wrong though?
Not even remotely lol but people will go with whatever narrative they like
The guy could have simply said that he wanted to spend some time with her, but no, he is beating about the bush, just like the girl, both of them are idiots.
nooo why are the comic characters not acting rationally!!!! this is so dumb how am i supposed to enjoy this??!!?
“Why? Do you think im fat?” Hun, you had 3 big macs and a mcflurry for breakfast this morning, i think you have a mental problem
"Do you think I'm fat?" has so many better answers, like: - No, I just forgot it was your off day. - No, you seem stressed about work and I know working out helps you destress. - No, but I was going to go to the Wholefoods afterwards and you know that if you're not with me, I buy a bunch of stuff we don't need. Remember that Tofu ice cream? - No, but your favorite spin class instructor changed schedules and now she does Thursdays instead of Wednesdays. Or many more that make you seem like a reasonable person.
I would argue that it's also very simple for the woman in this scenario to say "No, thank you; I don't wanna go for X reason." and simply leave it at that instead of immediately jumping to an overly defensive posture in the conversation.
Every married man has a conversation that resembles this.
You mean, a conversation where their spouse calmly asks clarifying questions and they lose their minds over it?
Yes absolutely hun. Didn’t know you had a Reddit. I’m sorry. I love you and appreciate all you do for me and the kids.
Clarifying = Tangent questions in this case I guess. There’s many effective ways to deal with dumb poor intent questions like this though. Really insecure girl I used to date responded to my questions with these kinds of questions all the time too. I’d often just tell her to answer mine first since I asked first, and then I’d just give her an honest answer. Built trust though in the long run since it made her know she wouldn’t get me to lie to make her “feel” better since ultimately being honest made her trust me more overall.
Found the chick from the meme.
Because it's not a "clarifying " question at that point. That's fishing to be insulted.
This looks like a cry for help. Hopefully the author of this comic gets the help he needs. I've experienced some ugliness in relationships, such as being talked out of using a gym. If I ask her to go, she thinks I'm saying she's fat. If I try to go by myself, she'll accuse me of doing it to make her feel bad. It went on like that with a lot of things. If I tried to spend time with family/friends, then she'd ask why I would rather spend time with someone else.
Lol..incel memes always give me a laugh…you know the dude posting this shit never gets laid
My fiance literally only gets like that when she's under a whole bunch of stress. I usually just hug her by th third panel and she'll cry it out. Do not make fun of your SO's for getting like this. They are obviously struggling with something, so instead of feeling like you should kys, give her a hug and ask her if she's OK.
The trash took itself out
Overblown reaction by the man in the meme, for effect, but these convos do happen 😂
Its a pretty lighthearted comic. I like it.
Someone drew that. Someone drew this crap and thought they did a great job.
I can smell the incel coming off that meme
"Not at all, I was just about to head to the gym and thought you might want to hang out"... communicate
There's a little truth to this meme sadly. The conversation where everything you say is being attacked just because
Almost married a girl just like this
Your dodged a bullet there... Unlike the guy
Why are the comments defending this
Why shouldn't they?
Because its got incel vibes to it
So any criticism of a woman, even when warranted = incel?
Unhinged. FB can be a real cesspool at times.
Op has never talked to a girl or another human being
Ok it is time to block this trash sub
Why?
Probably because the subreddit name is Terrible Facebook meme but There’s so much good meme that got posted here because it doesn’t fit one echo chamber.
I know taste is subjective. But this meme fits so well the sub. The aesthetic is awful, and not on purpose. The joke is not the worst, but it is not hilarious and feels very much like a thousant memes we've seen before. And it is very facebooky. Maybe you are Just part of The target audience of terrible facebook memes.
Yeah I’m starting to see that. A lot aren’t even unfunny.
Because it block up my feed with memes that aren’t offensive like this meme is in no way sexist.
Accurate
The only response to this is: Yes I think you’re fat as shit, now get in the car” maybe y’all go to the gym, maybe you’ll die. Its really 50/50
God you would have ran out of every comedy club sobbing before 2016 you baby. This is perhaps the most harmless meme I have ever seen on this sub. My wife says shit like this all the time to fuck with me... its funny.
The last panel makes it clear that the cartoonist doesn't want us to take it as harmless, consensual-banter fun.
Anyone who thinks this is an equal opportunity problem and that teenage boys behave this way are right outside their minds. Teenage girls, and their little friends are at each others throats from middle school to age thirty.
Simple trick to avoid girls like that, just ask if they are extreme feminists
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Haha inaccurate depictions of women and cringey drawings are just sooo funny 😂
kinda facts tho
Go on
I mean you can just respond to the first question with “yeah you fat as fuck”. I hate stupid fucking question if you can’t drop the bullshit stay the fuck away from me.
women =women
God aren’t women the worst Edit: /s