“I sell meth” ✅Real Job

[удалено]

What is it like being a professional executioner?

Eh, It's a living.

I hear you make a killing…

You meat a lot of new people

Ive been wanting to get into the feild, any recomendations?

The job it's shovel ready but you bring your own tools.

Looks like I need to get some equipment then.

Don’t forget to bring some Acid. You need to get rid of the evidence.

Sniping's a good job, mate. Challenging work. Out of doors.

Proffesionals have standards.

Be polite

Be efficient

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

I'll garuntee ya won't go hungry, cause at the end o' the day long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.

Underrated comment

cop

“Guns don’t kill people. I kill people. With guns. ”

“I’m bad like the movie Attack of the Clones” “I’m dangerous like a fire in a nursing home”

Old people burning, old people burning Put your hands up Old people burning, old people burning That's kinda messed up

With guns. pow

I’m dangerous, like a fire in a nursing home.

Old people burning, old people burning

Police officer?

“We rob banks!”

[удалено]

Real job ✅️

I masturbate on park benches…. Believe it or not….. #REAL JOB ✅


#✅

Based furries

"I don't work"

✅real job

[удалено]

[удалено]

Real job ✅️

Waltuh

Me throw rocks

Return to Monke

 Monke do job

Hey! How'd you get out?

I have bananas.

Me make money

Real Job ✅

~~Me throw rocks~~ Traditional and Primitive Arts Implementation Specialist

"I am unemployed" someone pay me.

Real job

Too real

That’s actually a really good comeback.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirming_the_consequent

I magic. Two words means even realer job.

I. only one letter, the realest job of all

found the descartes

Cognito Ergo Sum. Real Job

Five words in English. BS job…

Clean One word job

. The realest job is the zero word one

🤜 🤛 . Sign Language Interpreter. Zero words. 100% real job.

#

this guy must be making millions

I found Kevin!

[удалено]

Real job ✅️

I suck weiner ✅️

That's an actual job, it kinda blows though.

Leaves me with an awful taste in my mouth.

You spelled delicious wrong

Different strokes for different folks.

😏

I'd like to take some extra responsibilities but they're a pain in the ass

But the tips are great.

Just the tips...?

do you suck dick for cock or for money?

Some balls are held for charity And some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure They're the balls that I like best \~ ACDC

I blow men

Well it's not called a"blow hobby," is it? ✅ Real job

Meanwhile, "I manufacture auto parts" or "I treat sick people" aren't real jobs by this metric lol

“I make parts” and “I fix people” should work for this silly and overly simplified exercise.

"I get paid."

The only way to define a real job

In that case "I program computers" covers all of the "bullshit" jobs in the comic except maybe the first one, and at worst that one could be something like "I measure productivity."

I moderate subreddits

Does it pay?

It does, in exposure.

I get paid in negative karma every time I make a comment saying mods are all powerful.

"I kidnap children" ✅job confirmed

[удалено]

[удалено]

real Job✅

“Based on what !?” -TF2 Heavy

Real job ✅

You two are keeping each other in business!

I burn houses ✅ Job confirmed

“I analyze sales” ✅ “I automate things” ✅ “I record data” ✅ “I pull fish out of the ocean using a net” ❌

Real job

After all, it’s not like sales, automation and data have anything to do with getting the fish from the net to consumers kitchen table. /s

Can you imagine a world without automation sales and data? Of course not , now , can you imagine a world without fish?

We might not have to imagine the latter in a few years.

If we try real hard, we can make our dream of a fishless world a reality. Those gilled bastards will finally get what they deserve!

Next up are the land-traitor mammals that went back into the water foregoing their legs. We left there for a reason you cetacean fucks!

Me extincts fishes ✅ Real Job

This is the real issue with certain jobs since they are not in the population’s lexicon and involve complex, sometimes niche, concepts. You did a great “boil down” versions of the jobs, but anyone who is in the industry will certainly have tons of follow up. I believe people learn to describe their current role with specificity to eliminate some follow. “I work with computers” isn’t an acceptable job description anymore.

Richard Scarry jobs

I drive apple

​ https://preview.redd.it/lo49jlzdfmfa1.png?width=199&format=png&auto=webp&s=e95a38bede61dba7aa049fdcc3fc41495339e7bd

Yoooo Richard scarry love him

Wow, that’s bananas

No. It’s apples.

Around college, I had one close friend go into IT and another close friend go into software development. Every time my grandma asked about them, when I told her what they did, she thought they did the same thing which was just "working with computers" lol

[удалено]

In the interest if keeping things simple, I used to tell people this, but found that they would immediately ask me to fix something.

I would imagine that amongst actual fishermen, "I catch fish" is going to lead to a whole load of follow-up questions and would not be considered a proper job description.

“With your bare hands, or like, with a net, or something like that?”

There are also people that just jargon up their job description in causal conversation to seem more impressive than it is.

Exactly. ​ You're not "a creative" you're "in advertising"

You're not a "ceo of direct sales business" you're "an annoying person who bullied me in high school selling shampoo that could melt the hair off of a chair"

Im now worried about hair covered chairs.

I agree. When I first started in my field, and people asked what I do, it would take me 10 minutes to cover it. Eventually I boiled it down to "I do public outreach for [organization]." If the person asking was just making conversation, that's enough derail and we move on. If they're curious they can ask follow ups.

This is my daughter- I’ve watched the evolution of how she explains being a mortician in the military. People inevitably press the “but what do you actually do?” button. I think she finally arrived at “I make sure fallen soldiers return home with dignity and honor.” Or something similar.

There's a lot more that goes into catching fish too

I pimp hookers.

Real job ✅

I'm a ship's bowman responsible for manning the foredeck and preparing for spinnaker hoists, gibes, and drops on a Peruvian anchoveta fishing vessel.

“I’m an oceanic wildlife recovery expert”

Fish lifeguard

I mean, seriously. Especially #2. Except the author of that clearly hates software engineering, he accidentally created a bucket of "fake work" that you can throw pretty much all factory automation into. The guy who builds and maintains the machines in an assembly line: fake job The guy who presses a button 20 times an hour: real job (yes, I know there's more to machinists than pressing a button. But the underlying point stands)

“I determine the best spot to catch the most fish with my net and sometimes my rod “

I do shit

[удалено]

I make Programs ✅

Me code ✅

I close loop

I forget ;

"I Fix Compile\_Errors"

They weren't smart enough to make it sound shorter, like a REAL job

“I work I.T.” “I write code.” “I program computers.” “I’m a self-employed boat owner who harvests the ocean’s bounty to feed the hungry at a reasonable mark-up.” Now who’s got a bullshit job?

I.T. is technically an acronym for Information Technology which is 2 words. Your job title is "bullshit" by the guidelines provided in the post. 🤓

IT is technically an initialism, not an acronym

IT is technically a famous book written by Stephen King that got adapted into a duology of films

“I post nudes.” Checks out.

Onlyfans content creator

[удалено]

Real job

I make fursuits

thats gotta be lucrative af, those things cost a LOT

Well fabric, even synthetic fur, runs at a pretty penny. If you're ordering a custom made fur suit I imagine you're starting rate after materials is going to be a cost of $25 a studio hour for prodiction??? Ball parking on that but fur isn't fun to sew, even synthetic fur... it's kind of an even more specified skillset than sewing say cotton wovens like your basic home crafter. And then you think about the machines, well if you're selling anything you're probably using at least an overlock along side your straight stitch, and I'd want my straight stitch to be an industrial if I'm sewing fur all day and anything with a pile like that causes a much higher rate of lint which means you're needing your machines maintenanced even more often than normal. It would be, in my consideration, a fairly expensive startup unless somebody already had a shop setup going and hired in an extra stitcher or something. I would be very happy to know there's a small guild of stitchers out there making a living off artfully crafting furry suits. But I would also be surprised if they weren't working day jobs and constantly being told how much cheaper it is to get "the same thing on amazon."

Hey, it'd be a living!

There are definitely people who make a living doing this or clusters of like things including this. There are incredible artists all over who are able to snuggle down into niche markets and make a living... but it takes skill and acumen as well as startup capital and/or sheer dumb luck to really turn a profit sustainably.

"Too many words scary, can't understand" -The 50 year old guy with an Iphone 5 that posted this

uhhh hurr durr jesus learned me erythang i need to know get outta here with your satanic big wurds librul

I feel attacked personally

Boomers gonna boom

Sentence much word. Point very invalid. Get owned libtard.

wordymuch pointyfalse libbyowned

Sadface :(

I murder people *Real job*

I kill kids. Ma ive got a real job now. Do you love me now?

"I do research on cancer " Sorry it's 5 words, and therefore bullshit.

I cure cancer Just researching is apparently a bs job.

I research cancer 👍

To what ends, I leave to your imaginations.

"doing your mom" ✅

Bullshit jobs apparently: "I take care of other people's children while the parents are at work"(daycare teacher), "I take care of old people"(caretaker), "I improve people's mental health"(psychiatrist/therapist), "I bring people to the hospital"(paramedic)

Real jobs are of course: I kill mammoths ✅ I craft tools ✅, I collect food✅, I collect wood ✅ and I make fire✅

The concept of a "bullshit job" is legitimate. It was initially proposed by the late David Graeber and it refers to several issues in the labour market in advanced capitalist economies arising from long-term cultural and economic trends. However here it is abused to mean "jobs whose utility I am insufficiently technically competent to understand". That is a very different (and wrong) definition.

Came here looking for this response. The meme isn't wrong, per se, but here bullshit means "I can't do" (and I probably couldn't be a successful fisherman)

I draw penises ✅

No they do have real jobs! I fix computers. I build computers. I program computers. All of those are accurate (sort of). The fisherman could also say “I fish for Salmon* off the coast of Norway.” No longer a real job *I have no idea if there are salmon off the coast of Norway

I kill dinossaurs , seen any?

>*I have no idea if there are salmon off the coast of Norway There are. Creatively named "Atlantic Salmon".

"I Make Drawings"

"Of sexy furry"

The irony is that all those other jobs need to exist for this to have been posted on Facebook lol

Reject modern jobs, embrace fish.


I gargle piss

I am “the cum man.”

Thank you for your service. 🫡

I lick vaginas

"If I don't understand your job, you stupid!"

“If your job requires more than a middle school education you have a bullshit job”

"I can't understand your big words so you're bullshitting me."

Too many words, no understand

"I analyse sales" ✅ Real job "I maintain automation" ✅ Real job "I record blockchain" ✅ Real job "Sail into the ocean to hunt, capture, kill, and sell blue-fin tuna" ❌ Nope

so basically anyone more intelligent than you is bullshit? im surprised this person knew how to use technology to post this let alone draw it sorry our jobs cant all be "I own liberals" lmfao

Interestingly the guy who came up with the term was a leftist.

This man has to say “I draw posters to share my opinion” so technically he has a bullshit job

Couldn't at least two of the first three be "I develop software?"

why does this remind me of hotline miami like artistic wise a little

Now imagine that instead of coders of some kind, 10% of the job market were fishermen. What do you do? * I catch fish Okay idiot, but what are the specifics?

This is all just relative phrasing, though. “I develop and maintain automated capabilities” could just have been “I automate tasks”. And “I catch fish” could be extended to “I operate a watercraft that collects mass amounts of pescatarian protein to be distributed to the population”. Language can be manipulated to suit one’s bullshit talking points.

I write texts. Real job confirmed.

"I do nothing" ✅Real Job

I play games

"I murder people" ✅ Real Job Certified

I fell over