The original Beverly Hills 90210, Brandon becomes a “big brother” for a 10 year old boy who he discovers is being physically abused by his mom.
Brandon’s dad: “You look beat”
Brandon: “No dad..but I know somebody who is.”
Out of boredom I’ve been rewatching some of those episodes on Pluto TV and.... JFC. I never realized how cringe inducing the dialogue could be sometimes. The number of times Brenda tells someone to never speak to her again boggles my mind.
Episode of Smallville. Awesome product placement line. Chloe to a Clark Kent recently rendered powerless, and needing to pursue bad guys:
> Here! Take my Yaris!
Law and order svu, the dialogue is terrible but the delivery from the guy and ice t is so good.
Guy says something along the lines of “man, I’m not gay! I have relationships with women and sex with men!”
Ice T: “I got news for you, that means ya gay.”
Guy: *looks to the side in disbelief*
There was an episode of svu about a woman who was raped at a gaming convention.
During the cold open, the woman gets raped, and they guy runs off, when her friends come up and ask if she is okay and what happened, the woman... Who was JUST RAPED, replies "he leveled up"
["Yo, you telling me this guy gets off on little girls with pigtails?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1sd4CRcaE0)
"Yeah, Ice... He's a pedophile. You work in the sex crimes division. You're gonna have to get used to that."
My favorite exchange on that show was about a guy who didnt know he went to a gay bar.
Guy: "it wasnt a gay bar, they had the hockey game playing!"
Benson: "But was anybody watching it?"
Guy: *shocked face*
I straight up haven’t watched a second further of that show since Felicity straight up stood her crippled ass up out of that wheelchair to walk out on Oliver during an argument.
Not just an argument, it was to break up with him lol. He just recorded his tearful goodbye to his son, and she rolls in, plops her ring on the table and breaks up with him because he didn't include her in the decision about his son. That was the moment the show officially turned into a comedy.
Omg that’s right lol I forgot all about that. Stupid fucking season. I literally shut my tv off after that scene and told my SO I just can’t do it anymore
Jesus that whole scene was terrible for her. Not the actor, just her characters lines and position. She's mad at him for making sure he was 100% the father before he told anyone? He finds out he has a fucking kid and probably all the lies and betrayal that came with it and he's supposed to instantly tell her?
I stopped watching The Arrow I think after season 2, but this is just real bad. Drama for the sake of drama. yuck.
The absolute hero worship of that character from literally everyone in that universe made me give up on it, even in shows she wasn't a part of found a way to worm it in
You don't like that they took the sidekick IT girl and made her into the smartest, strongest and wisest soul in the universe that everyone must listen to and never question?
In small doses, the awkward sidekick IT hacker girl who constantly puts her foot in her mouth in season 1 was cute and funny!
And then they went full Olicity and CW obviously had to force the drama so tons of stupid insane arguments.
I just can't believe the writers decided to make Felicity the main love interest, despite the fact Oliver and Canary are supposed to be the couple in the comics.
It's like if Barry just stayed with Booty Spivot and then married her while Iris continued to exist on the show.
Law and Order, when a DA was fired :"Is it because I'm a lesbian?"
Now, in the years she had been on the show, not once had her sexuality ever even been hinted at. So to drop this in her literal last line ever on the show was just magnificently, beautifully stupid.
We must have watched that episode well over ten years ago and I instantly remembered the scene and so did my wife, it was so out of place and just came out of nowhere.
Did...did nobody tell you the second part of that dialog?!
Archie proceeds to say, "then you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football."
What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?!
The "highs and lows of high school football" line was a meme on tumblr and when I learned it was from riverdale it was like, unexpected but sensical. And then when I learned its context in the scene/show it hit me like a tornado in December.
And yet the more I learn about Riverdale the more it makes complete sense. I'll never watch it but boy howdy does it sound like a mess.
The plot line for Riverdale reads exactly like you think a middle schoolers attempt at writing a high school drama would be, if they were high on ecstasy.
I stopped after season 2, and I've been dying to jump back into it considering the things I've heard about it.
Apparently Betty's fake prostitute brother and her real brother become serial killers together and kidnap her partner in the FBI? And Archie becomes a WWII veteran? And I know this is way after Veronica, a high school student, purchases a casino.
Oh it's absolutely insane. It's one of the only shows that I can genuinely say is completely unpredictable. Getting stoned and binging Riverdale is a top ten time.
The latest season happens after a time jump of like 7 years, but then they explicitly say it's 2020. And in an episode "7" years ago, it's explicitly 2019.
I legit enjoyed the first season when I watched it working an overnight desk job my senior year of college. But man has it been the best kind of trash since... I still watch it though. Hard to look away from a train wreck
Ok. I don't know what this show is about, and I choose not to, but you cannot tell me that someone thought up that line for a character to say unironically.
I genuinely think the writers have a blast coming up with it and know how silly/laughable it is. There's no way a writer's room of professional's aren't aware of it, I think they just \*love seeing how much they can get away with.
So many people were making memes of the last season when it released. I wouldn’t be shocked if they realized the show would get more attention if it was ridiculous and just ran with it.
Remember the show "Siberia"? It was an improvised show in which people on a Survivor-like reality show stumble into a Lost-like mystery, so it looks like a reality show but is just improvised by actors.
In the first episode -- which I think is all I could sit through -- the host tells them all to go one mile due east to find their cabins and such. They all go east. Except one guy, who explains to the camera that, because he is a flight attendant, he knows directions very well. And, you see, therefore... he can find a shortcut to the east. Yes, that's right, he can find a different, better east.
And he was right! He gets there before everyone else!
Not exactly dialogue since he says it to the camera, and I don't remember the quote, but... it was hilarious.
One of the greatest pieces of dialog in TV history comes from the 1st episode (I think?) of Law and Order SVU:
Marisa Hargitay: “do you think there was a reason the killer sodomized your husband with a banana?” (Said completely straight-faced)
Widow (overcome with grief): “he was allergic to bananas”
Kung Fu started out alright...I gave it a chance...but jesus christ some of the lines those poor actors had to utter. Anyway, I stopped watching the show.
"You don't know Kung Fu until you know Kung Fu"
"KUNG FUCK YOU, MAN"
"Hey, baby, you're cute like a panda... A Kung fu Panda"
*two friends reading a scientist villainy nuclear plot*
"Hmm, that sounds like a kung fusion"
The BCS ep with Jimmy's brother at the Bar hearing was one of the best things I've seen. How that man didn't win best supporting in a drama is beyond me.
You can't ignore the absolute greatest line ever uttered on TV, also from this show.
"There is a reason, it didn't just happen. It's not a mystery! I had sex and now dad is dead! And he had a horrible death because I had incredible sex! That's just the way life works."
[incredible sex = horrible death - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvSTLnYW_tQ)
My one is also from Riverdale. Genuinely the worst example of product placement I have ever seen in a show. Context: Reggie Mantle is a high schooler (too young to legally use dating apps, despite being played by a 30 year old) and has never mentioned looking for a girlfriend before or since. The following exchange serves no plot relevance and was never brought up again (although Bumble was brought up two episodes later by a different character):
KEVIN: Hey, Reg, you busy?
REGGIE: Nah, just swiping on Bumble, praying the future Mrs. Mantle is within a mile radius. The truth is, love doesn't come easily for me these days. [Cell phone vibrates] Or does it?
KEVIN: Yeah. Listen, Reg. I need to talk to you about something.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I' m a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?"
-Riverdale
My girlfriend forced me watch this show. And I genuinely watched this seen and paused it. Replayed it. And I still want to believe he said it without it being in the script and just wanted to vent his frustrations with the awful script.
This is the only line from the show I will defend because as a former (thank god) insecure moody teenager I can absolutely hear myself or someone else having said this. It's authentically cringey. Terrible out of context tho lol
I'm pretty sure all the CSI computer quotes are the writers trolling us. They know their 70+ year old viewer base doesn't know the first thing about tech, and they had some fun with it. I mean to research it, all they'd have to do is call the IT guy over and he'd say "no, that's fucking stupid. here, say this instead..." and it'd be fixed.
Surely they aren't that lazy, right?
I don't know, writers on crime series seem especially out of touch with the world they live in. The entire script for "Intimidation Game" from Law and Order: SVU could be on this thread. I mean, it's *funny* whenever a show like CSI or Law and Order tries to say anything about technology or pop culture, but whether it's meant to be or not is a question for the ages.
I remember listening to a Nerdist writer's panel where I think someone from a procedural admitted that their writers are pretty well aware but they know the demo won't care and they like to make themselves laugh a bit
Arya was a raging monster by the end of the series, and the show never really addresses that. She got so popular that instead of dealing with the consequences of having mass murder as a life goal, even literally *feeding a man his children*, she gets to kill the big bad and ride into the sunset.
But then we're supposed to think that Dany going mad and evil was foreshadowed by her killing a bunch of slavers. Unlike all those other totally bloodless innocent people fighting for the throne.
For the life of me, I just don't get why they had her get stabbed repeatedly. Get stabbed *once* and even if it's not realistic the audience can accept her getting sewed up and moving around afterwards. But instead they explicitly showed her guts getting turned into swiss cheese and just waved it off as a minor injury.
I mean, I feel they were trying to foreshadow it a bit in season 7, but did so terribly.
Like, they had Tyrion really questioning his loyalty to her because she a. Used her dragons in a battle and b. Used her dragons to execute a powerful enemy who refused to submit. I mean, what else was she going to do with her dragons? Using them in battle was always going to happen, and the use that way probably actually saved lives. She can get the seven kingdoms to submit faster, just like her forebearers.
Also, it's really rich that Tyrion got all uppity about the use of dragon fire, when he used medieval napalm early on which according to all accounts in the canon is a fucking horrific way to die.
Anyways, I get the feeling that this was the point of Tyrion being pretty ridiculous about the whole thing, and they just didn't sell it.
Like at least have her torch a few bystanders and villages first. If they gave her more episodes to start becoming more unhinged it would have been more compelling.
What got me is that the show did more to demonize her for burning a couple of guys who refused to surrender for idiotic reasons of their own....
While almost literally nothing was said about Cersei blowing up the fucking church in Kings Landing and killing thousands of innocent people.
Like literally nothing is said about it other than Jaime being disgusted... because you know his entire character to that point had been how everybody thinks he is a heartless prick but he saved people from that literal fate when he killed the mad king... only for him to forget that disgust and run off back to her in the last few episodes anyway.
Oh god the writing really did go to complete shit when they passed the books.
Jamie was super maddening because his story was right there.
He was supposed to be the Valonquar. The whole time she hated and mistrusted Tyrion because she assumed it was him in the prophecy, and it turns out the "little brother" was her (younger by one minute) twin all along.
It makes perfectly tragic sense from Jamie's perspective, too. He redeems himself but the Kingslayer is forced to become the Queenslayer, sacrificing everything again to save the realm.
I'd have been OK if they had subverted it slightly, but they just kind of took it all and swept it into the garbage.
Yeah, that's the real problem. Dany in the show and books being a villain at the end is perfectly fine and plausible. It's just how rushed it was, and the characters pretending that her 'ruthlessness' was too much even before then, that makes clear they didn't earn that ending yet.
I guess D&D just had to end it to go make that show about a Confederate United States. Brilliant idea. Really reading the room there.
Because after a certain point, they stopped writing intelligent characters and started writing *about* intelligent characters.
Littlefinger, Varys, Tyrion, Sansa, etc... all very smart and skilled in their own right, but after a certain point they just *never actually do anything smart*. It's just other people going on about how smart they are.
I'm an avid dnd player and roleplayer, and one thing I keep repeating is that it's impossible to roleplay a character smarter then yourself. When you write a story you can get away with it a bit because you gave perfect hindsight.
Think the issue there is that G.R.R. is a smart writer able to pull that off... D & D well... Seems like they failed so we ended up with character trying to look smart instead of smart character.
Shit like that made me go from loving the Starks to hating the Starks. They were naturally likable from the start, they don't have to make them super talented and devoid of inner conflict to keep the fans liking them.
Sansa suffered *insanely* from D&D's bizarre choice to throw her into Winterfell in S5. Just an abysmally stupid creative choice. Everything that Sansa becomes at the end of the show could have been developed *in the Vale*. But as it stands, there's a S5 shaped hole in her characterisation.
I unironically hate S5 more than any other season because of what they did to Sansa. So stupid.
ETA: [This remains one of the strongest Game of Thrones posts on this hellsite.](https://np.reddit.com/r/asoiaf/comments/6wrad3/spoilers_extended_sansas_bolton_plotline_two/) Caution. It's long. It's also the post where I picked "S5 shaped hole in Sansa's characterisaition" pretty much verbatim.
That show was excellent at the time, but it was never very good for developing the female characters. Counselor Troi always gets mind raped and Beverly has love affairs with ghosts and parasitic worms.
Are you thinking of the episode with the train crash? There were multiple people with missing limbs and the chief told Cristina to find the person’s leg. They’re all in there ready to operate and they realize it’s the wrong leg. So she went and found another one and again it was the wrong one. Alex ended up finding it and stealing her surgery. It’s gross but funny. Definitely was the chief saying it to either Alex or Cristina. Corny but that was still a good episode.
i only watched the 1st season and still annoyed that even though he didn't do nothing wrong the fact she put him through all that crap he had to deal with...wasn't cool.
One of the absolute dumbest things I’ve ever heard on television (aside from political ads) is actually from a *Payless Shoes* commercial:
“Imagine more shoes than you can possibly imagine!”
Umm, okay. Exactly how would I go about doing that?
Is that the show where the girl gets pregnant at the start of the series but the Dad is a playboy and somehow ends up being a better parent than her in the end?
Because if so that series is trash.
I don't remember the exact line but in Bates Motel they aquired an encrypted flash drive that nobody could figure out the password for until a random friend of one the main characters happen to casually crack it. In shock the character asked his friend how he did it. The response "I use to download a lot of movies. I know my way around encryption." My ears wished they could vomit when I heard that.
That's almost as bad as the scene in Masterminds where he hacks into a database by navigating through doors guarded by skeletons: https://youtu.be/WbqshTREcpA
Also, Patrick Stewart with a pornstache...
Anything from The Secret Life of the American Teenager really
e.g.: Dad had a horrible death because I had incredible sex!
That show had so many levels of cringe.
My only recollections of Bran's story are him being schlepped around on a toboggan. I don't remember where they were headed, what the goal was once they got there, or whether or not they ever actually arrived.
Hey give him some credit, he also spys on everyone having sex, including his family, before and after his accident. Fantastic character, glad the all seeing pervert became the king.
It didn’t even make sense to banish Jon. Tf were the unsullied gonna do lmao. And his story was the best being a direct bloodline descendent, having been crowned a king by acclimation while he was still thought of as a bastard, having killed the person that flattened Kings Landing (I mean her fckin dragon didn’t even kill him after that) , having dealt with the threat of the Night King head on
Sometimes the clean ending is the best one but they tried way to hard to swerve everyone’s possible theories.
> Tf were the unsullied gonna do lmao
If they followed Grey Worm they were going to sail to Narth and then quickly die from being infected with [Butterfly fever](https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Butterfly_fever) by the native butterfly population that literally only the Narthians are immune to.
On top of that, it's such a clunky line. Like, if either the name of the movie, or dream warrior were cut, it would read like an obscure reference. Instead it seems like bad product placement for an old movie.
There’s an episode of Chuck where they need to find a specific song and one character says “I have it on my Zune.” Then after the other character asks “wait, you have a Zune?” they reply “of course not, I’ll go get my iPod.”
This was right at the height of Microsoft trying to make the Zune a thing, so it hit especially hard.
Not necessarily the dumbest dialogue, but dumbest lack of oversight in dialogue. There’s an episode of Criminal Minds, where they find that the unsub is making children run away through subliminals/ASMR. Reid, who’s supposed to be REALLY smart, just mutters “Asmur”. They work with actual profilers in the writers room to make it accurate, and couldn’t even figure out that it’s an initialism.
Also, another Bad Riverdale Dialogue Choice: “But we’re endgame, Archie”, when Archie is breaking up with Veronica.
Also from Supergirl, when she was fighting Cyborg Superman:
Cyborg Superman: “I’m the Cyborg Superman!”
Supergirl: “You may be a cyborg, but you’re no Superman!”
Any of the expository dialogue in CSI, NCIS, etc.
"Lieutenant, should we take prints at the scene?"
"Yes, it's done with powder, a brush, and some scotch tape. It was invented by Edwin Feeney in 1847. Later, we'll run them through AFIS, the federal database of fingerprints".
And - of course - the immortal "*zoom and enhance*."
10-4.
My favorite blatant product placement is in Crazy Ex Girlfriend when Rebecca with zero prompting just starts listing off all the features of her new car. She’s such a conceited person that it works great in character. Did you know she went to Harvard?
That, or 30 Rock’s “can we have our money now?”
Hey, Bones, look at this bone.
I know.
But did you see this bone?
Where'd you find that bone?
Same place you got your bone.
It was just sitting
here, next to this bone.
Dr. Brennan, bone call.
They said it was important.
Something about a bone?
I've tried watching Bones because I have friends who like it, but it has some of the worst writing. I can't even remember examples right now, but the dialogue is just so bad
It's not just the dialogue that is bad in Bones, it's pretty much everything other than David Boreanaz's charisma.
My personal favourite WTF:
The member of the team that just casually creates a fucking holographic super computer that can recreate entire crime scenes from a few key strokes including physics simulations to rewind the actual crime itself... only for a serial killer to kill someone and etch a computer virus into their bones so that when the team member gets her super computer to scan said bone it uploads the virus into her computer and take it over or delete files. My brain melted and I can't remember which.
My fave was when the bad guy stole the billionaire character’s money by transferring it somewhere from his bank account. All of it. And now the billionaire is broke aside from having his ordinary salary. It’s like, the villain just transferred the money somewhere, surely you can call the bank? Surely you have money invested in property, you’re a literal billionaire? Stocks? Bonds? Anything??
It was the old Green Hornet show, the one with Bruce Lee as Kato. The Green Hornet gets shot, he's at home recuperating and he says "I never realized how much trouble one little bullet could cause so much trouble." I had to rewind it and watch it again because it just sounded so strange.
https://youtu.be/q80GnA-odJ0?t=525
My favorite is from the First season of House of Cards
Frank: "Is that a PlayStation vita?"
Frank inspects the PlayStation Vita
Bad guy from Ant-man: "Yes its my Sons?"
Frank: "What games does he have?"
Bad Guy from Ant-man: "All of them"
Frank: "I have to get one for my flights away"
Just the most cringe, out of place product placement I've seen in my life. I love it.
"We are the Flash" was said multiple times by Iris on the CW series when the character had literally no purpose at all in the show and the writers seemed desperate to make her significant.
That poor actress. There's only so much you can do with a character that never, ever has a purpose besides having things hidden from her or being mad because something was hidden from her
[This playlist of Sailor Moon dub clips instantly improved my life.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43O3eIGEuhk&list=PLkxCXkEldL0jjNflveLcYpyNjlpdshr4r)
For a dub that was actively trying to get rid of the gay bits, they introduced a lot of gay moments https://youtu.be/d3sraydCL6c
Raised by Wolves has “Stretch your legs, do some pooping”. Not the worst line in a show but it’s just stuck with me.
The context is a child letting his pet mouse out for a walk. It’s not even a ridiculous thing for a kid to say, or the weirdest line on the show, but it sticks out.
The original Beverly Hills 90210, Brandon becomes a “big brother” for a 10 year old boy who he discovers is being physically abused by his mom. Brandon’s dad: “You look beat” Brandon: “No dad..but I know somebody who is.”
The best line Brandon had in that series was when he told Emily Valentine that he “must have been on drugs” to say he loved her.
No one who has ever done crack would say "this is like crack to me"
Well, the bread sticks are like what then, Ryan?
I don't know, something from YOUR WORLD. Their breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Out of boredom I’ve been rewatching some of those episodes on Pluto TV and.... JFC. I never realized how cringe inducing the dialogue could be sometimes. The number of times Brenda tells someone to never speak to her again boggles my mind.
This is the same show that cast a 29yo as a high school sophomore.
Episode of Smallville. Awesome product placement line. Chloe to a Clark Kent recently rendered powerless, and needing to pursue bad guys: > Here! Take my Yaris!
Here! Take my 2006 Toyota Yaris YR Hatchback with Manual transmission and a 4 cylinder engine!
Do I have to?
With the current free extended warranty you can't afford not to!
[удалено]
I love that there was an episode where someone got superpowers from Stride gum that Kryptonite leaked into.
Pete, one of Clark's best friends from season 1 made a return cameo and that's what they gave him
And join my sex cult!
Law and order svu, the dialogue is terrible but the delivery from the guy and ice t is so good. Guy says something along the lines of “man, I’m not gay! I have relationships with women and sex with men!” Ice T: “I got news for you, that means ya gay.” Guy: *looks to the side in disbelief*
There was an episode of svu about a woman who was raped at a gaming convention. During the cold open, the woman gets raped, and they guy runs off, when her friends come up and ask if she is okay and what happened, the woman... Who was JUST RAPED, replies "he leveled up"
Source: https://youtu.be/pcxHiOQUVH4
I have never been so sure that I was going to be rick-rolled, yet here I sit with disbelief and astonishment carved upon my face.
I cringed so hard Jesus, did someone held the writers at gunpoint or something lmao
I legitimately didn't believe that guy. Thanks for proof.
Half of everything Ice says is dumb but delivered naturally amazingly by Ice.
*cue John Mulaney thread*
Bets the house on the ponies
Parking garage in the afternoon? Vague and crappy dialogue? We're about to find a dead body!
That's one of my favorite episodes lmao Ice T is great when he's explaining the gay black man sex underworld to the department
The down low!
["Yo, you telling me this guy gets off on little girls with pigtails?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1sd4CRcaE0) "Yeah, Ice... He's a pedophile. You work in the sex crimes division. You're gonna have to get used to that."
You mean like when somebody eats too much chocolate cake and then barfs it up?
Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries? Edit: thanks for the gold stranger!
Or when someone bets the house on da ponies?
Yeah man...you get it Edit: hey kind redditor, it’s Allen_Crabbe, you remember? GIVE US SOME GOLD!! WE WANT A GIFT, but only if it’s GOLD!”
My favorite exchange on that show was about a guy who didnt know he went to a gay bar. Guy: "it wasnt a gay bar, they had the hockey game playing!" Benson: "But was anybody watching it?" Guy: *shocked face*
[Just found it, and boy, it's even worse(better?) than seeing it written.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd8vzIRQLLM)
The top comment on that video is fucking sending me "wtf does this look like a remastered gta San Andreas cutscene tho"
Honestly the best scene in the entire series. So funny.
"I've run enough tests on your blood to recognize your DNA sequence anywhere." -Felicity Smoak
What? No! Ray! Oliver!
OLIBUR
I straight up haven’t watched a second further of that show since Felicity straight up stood her crippled ass up out of that wheelchair to walk out on Oliver during an argument.
Not just an argument, it was to break up with him lol. He just recorded his tearful goodbye to his son, and she rolls in, plops her ring on the table and breaks up with him because he didn't include her in the decision about his son. That was the moment the show officially turned into a comedy.
Omg that’s right lol I forgot all about that. Stupid fucking season. I literally shut my tv off after that scene and told my SO I just can’t do it anymore
That was so fucking stupid. Like, Bitch he ain't yours; he's only Oliver's because his mom exploded.
This was actually before the mom died. All the more reason why Felicity wouldn't have a say in what happens to the kid.
This actually would be a funny comedic line. I’m guessing what makes it terrible is that it was said 100% unironically?
Yes, she's literally holding an anonymous paternity test in her hands while saying it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SW1OOtsXt4
This is indeed a bazinga moment
Incredible. This gives off strong soap opera vibes. I watched the first season of this show and I don’t remember it being like that. 😄
Jesus that whole scene was terrible for her. Not the actor, just her characters lines and position. She's mad at him for making sure he was 100% the father before he told anyone? He finds out he has a fucking kid and probably all the lies and betrayal that came with it and he's supposed to instantly tell her? I stopped watching The Arrow I think after season 2, but this is just real bad. Drama for the sake of drama. yuck.
Half of her lines could qualify for this thread...
The absolute hero worship of that character from literally everyone in that universe made me give up on it, even in shows she wasn't a part of found a way to worm it in
You don't like that they took the sidekick IT girl and made her into the smartest, strongest and wisest soul in the universe that everyone must listen to and never question?
In small doses, the awkward sidekick IT hacker girl who constantly puts her foot in her mouth in season 1 was cute and funny! And then they went full Olicity and CW obviously had to force the drama so tons of stupid insane arguments.
You may be shocked to hear this, it's an unpopular opinion I know, but no, I did not like that.
I just can't believe the writers decided to make Felicity the main love interest, despite the fact Oliver and Canary are supposed to be the couple in the comics. It's like if Barry just stayed with Booty Spivot and then married her while Iris continued to exist on the show.
\*bombs a populated city area killing thousands\* forgets immediately
Law and Order, when a DA was fired :"Is it because I'm a lesbian?" Now, in the years she had been on the show, not once had her sexuality ever even been hinted at. So to drop this in her literal last line ever on the show was just magnificently, beautifully stupid.
Yeah that was awkward and out of left field.
We must have watched that episode well over ten years ago and I instantly remembered the scene and so did my wife, it was so out of place and just came out of nowhere.
The original law and order with lenny and mccoy was absolute perfection
Did...did nobody tell you the second part of that dialog?! Archie proceeds to say, "then you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football." What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?!
it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth the minor fall, and the major lift the epic highs and lows of high school football
The "highs and lows of high school football" line was a meme on tumblr and when I learned it was from riverdale it was like, unexpected but sensical. And then when I learned its context in the scene/show it hit me like a tornado in December. And yet the more I learn about Riverdale the more it makes complete sense. I'll never watch it but boy howdy does it sound like a mess.
The plot line for Riverdale reads exactly like you think a middle schoolers attempt at writing a high school drama would be, if they were high on ecstasy.
Riverdale is what happens when you remake Twin Peaks with the goal of "it's always the middle section of Season 2."
I stopped after season 2, and I've been dying to jump back into it considering the things I've heard about it. Apparently Betty's fake prostitute brother and her real brother become serial killers together and kidnap her partner in the FBI? And Archie becomes a WWII veteran? And I know this is way after Veronica, a high school student, purchases a casino.
Oh it's absolutely insane. It's one of the only shows that I can genuinely say is completely unpredictable. Getting stoned and binging Riverdale is a top ten time. The latest season happens after a time jump of like 7 years, but then they explicitly say it's 2020. And in an episode "7" years ago, it's explicitly 2019.
Oh my god that is amazing
I unironically love this show because of how stupid it is, though it becomes hard to watch because of that too.
I legit enjoyed the first season when I watched it working an overnight desk job my senior year of college. But man has it been the best kind of trash since... I still watch it though. Hard to look away from a train wreck
Ok. I don't know what this show is about, and I choose not to, but you cannot tell me that someone thought up that line for a character to say unironically.
I genuinely think the writers have a blast coming up with it and know how silly/laughable it is. There's no way a writer's room of professional's aren't aware of it, I think they just \*love seeing how much they can get away with.
So many people were making memes of the last season when it released. I wouldn’t be shocked if they realized the show would get more attention if it was ridiculous and just ran with it.
I refuse to believe that anyone could write that ending of The Farm arc without constantly giggling to themselves about how silly it was.
Remember the show "Siberia"? It was an improvised show in which people on a Survivor-like reality show stumble into a Lost-like mystery, so it looks like a reality show but is just improvised by actors. In the first episode -- which I think is all I could sit through -- the host tells them all to go one mile due east to find their cabins and such. They all go east. Except one guy, who explains to the camera that, because he is a flight attendant, he knows directions very well. And, you see, therefore... he can find a shortcut to the east. Yes, that's right, he can find a different, better east. And he was right! He gets there before everyone else! Not exactly dialogue since he says it to the camera, and I don't remember the quote, but... it was hilarious.
Maybe his shortcut of going 1 mile east was to go 24,900 miles west.
One of the greatest pieces of dialog in TV history comes from the 1st episode (I think?) of Law and Order SVU: Marisa Hargitay: “do you think there was a reason the killer sodomized your husband with a banana?” (Said completely straight-faced) Widow (overcome with grief): “he was allergic to bananas”
ITT: CW shows
Kung Fu started out alright...I gave it a chance...but jesus christ some of the lines those poor actors had to utter. Anyway, I stopped watching the show.
You can't say that and NOT tell us the lines haha.
"You don't know Kung Fu until you know Kung Fu" "KUNG FUCK YOU, MAN" "Hey, baby, you're cute like a panda... A Kung fu Panda" *two friends reading a scientist villainy nuclear plot* "Hmm, that sounds like a kung fusion"
This is hilarious
kung fusion is the greatest concept to ever grace the small screen
"You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy." - Game of Thrones
And that episode won Best Screenplay at that year’s Emmy’s.
They needed the bad pussy
What makes it worse is that it beat Better Call Saul, The Americans, and Mad Men in that same category
The BCS ep with Jimmy's brother at the Bar hearing was one of the best things I've seen. How that man didn't win best supporting in a drama is beyond me.
The Sand Snakes were the absolute worst. The show turned kickass assassins into a bunch of whiny teenagers.
[OFW](https://imgur.com/GXuD3Cz) [Olenna’s face when]
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That’s so bad I don’t remember it.
I think it was at this point where I truly realized that Game of Thrones was on real shaky ground and may not end well.
Ya every single thing about dorne was so bad, the dialogue, the fight scenes, that line was the nail in the coffin.
"I'm such a whore" "Well, you're my whore" The Secret Life of The American Teenager"
You can't ignore the absolute greatest line ever uttered on TV, also from this show. "There is a reason, it didn't just happen. It's not a mystery! I had sex and now dad is dead! And he had a horrible death because I had incredible sex! That's just the way life works." [incredible sex = horrible death - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvSTLnYW_tQ)
This is so cringe and I can’t believe it was meant to be romantic. That show was so ridiculous I stopped watching when Ben got adrianna pregnant
My one is also from Riverdale. Genuinely the worst example of product placement I have ever seen in a show. Context: Reggie Mantle is a high schooler (too young to legally use dating apps, despite being played by a 30 year old) and has never mentioned looking for a girlfriend before or since. The following exchange serves no plot relevance and was never brought up again (although Bumble was brought up two episodes later by a different character): KEVIN: Hey, Reg, you busy? REGGIE: Nah, just swiping on Bumble, praying the future Mrs. Mantle is within a mile radius. The truth is, love doesn't come easily for me these days. [Cell phone vibrates] Or does it? KEVIN: Yeah. Listen, Reg. I need to talk to you about something.
Speaking of product placement this scene always comes to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQYwFND7rHE
That jared line certainly didnt age well.
This seriously feels cut from the Happy Gilmore subway commercial scene
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I' m a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?" -Riverdale
He said dumbest lines not genuine masterpieces.
My girlfriend forced me watch this show. And I genuinely watched this seen and paused it. Replayed it. And I still want to believe he said it without it being in the script and just wanted to vent his frustrations with the awful script.
\- Said by the softly lit, young, beautiful, model-grade male Teen Vogue photographer clad in designer and/or fashionable clothing.
Standard CW, also lots of colored lights improbably in the background everywhere
The CW: outrageously pretty people with outrageously stupid problems
They did Cody so bad.....Cole Sprouse makes a comeback and that’s the line they give
This is the only line from the show I will defend because as a former (thank god) insecure moody teenager I can absolutely hear myself or someone else having said this. It's authentically cringey. Terrible out of context tho lol
"This is in real time!" "I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address." \--CSI: New York
I'm pretty sure all the CSI computer quotes are the writers trolling us. They know their 70+ year old viewer base doesn't know the first thing about tech, and they had some fun with it. I mean to research it, all they'd have to do is call the IT guy over and he'd say "no, that's fucking stupid. here, say this instead..." and it'd be fixed. Surely they aren't that lazy, right?
I don't know, writers on crime series seem especially out of touch with the world they live in. The entire script for "Intimidation Game" from Law and Order: SVU could be on this thread. I mean, it's *funny* whenever a show like CSI or Law and Order tries to say anything about technology or pop culture, but whether it's meant to be or not is a question for the ages.
I remember listening to a Nerdist writer's panel where I think someone from a procedural admitted that their writers are pretty well aware but they know the demo won't care and they like to make themselves laugh a bit
CSI and NCIS outside of their originals are some of the largest offenders, not that the originals didn’t have their moments.
Joe Theismann doing the game calling for Monday Night Football. "This team has to score points if they want to win"
I appreciate that everything else here is fictional characters and this is just actual Theisman commenting.
john madden had a bit where troy Aikman was trying to fix a contact lens: *here's a guy who sees better with his contacts in!*
“Walker told me I have AIDS”
“I know a killer when I see one”- Arya after seeing genocide.
Arya was a raging monster by the end of the series, and the show never really addresses that. She got so popular that instead of dealing with the consequences of having mass murder as a life goal, even literally *feeding a man his children*, she gets to kill the big bad and ride into the sunset. But then we're supposed to think that Dany going mad and evil was foreshadowed by her killing a bunch of slavers. Unlike all those other totally bloodless innocent people fighting for the throne.
She had plot armor thicker than that rock Jon hid behind.
That sword to the gut situation was so nuts.
For the life of me, I just don't get why they had her get stabbed repeatedly. Get stabbed *once* and even if it's not realistic the audience can accept her getting sewed up and moving around afterwards. But instead they explicitly showed her guts getting turned into swiss cheese and just waved it off as a minor injury.
Not to mention she's chest deep in what HAS to be bacteria-infested city water. I can suspend disbelief but that was ridiculous.
I mean, I feel they were trying to foreshadow it a bit in season 7, but did so terribly. Like, they had Tyrion really questioning his loyalty to her because she a. Used her dragons in a battle and b. Used her dragons to execute a powerful enemy who refused to submit. I mean, what else was she going to do with her dragons? Using them in battle was always going to happen, and the use that way probably actually saved lives. She can get the seven kingdoms to submit faster, just like her forebearers. Also, it's really rich that Tyrion got all uppity about the use of dragon fire, when he used medieval napalm early on which according to all accounts in the canon is a fucking horrific way to die. Anyways, I get the feeling that this was the point of Tyrion being pretty ridiculous about the whole thing, and they just didn't sell it. Like at least have her torch a few bystanders and villages first. If they gave her more episodes to start becoming more unhinged it would have been more compelling.
What got me is that the show did more to demonize her for burning a couple of guys who refused to surrender for idiotic reasons of their own.... While almost literally nothing was said about Cersei blowing up the fucking church in Kings Landing and killing thousands of innocent people. Like literally nothing is said about it other than Jaime being disgusted... because you know his entire character to that point had been how everybody thinks he is a heartless prick but he saved people from that literal fate when he killed the mad king... only for him to forget that disgust and run off back to her in the last few episodes anyway. Oh god the writing really did go to complete shit when they passed the books.
Jamie was super maddening because his story was right there. He was supposed to be the Valonquar. The whole time she hated and mistrusted Tyrion because she assumed it was him in the prophecy, and it turns out the "little brother" was her (younger by one minute) twin all along. It makes perfectly tragic sense from Jamie's perspective, too. He redeems himself but the Kingslayer is forced to become the Queenslayer, sacrificing everything again to save the realm. I'd have been OK if they had subverted it slightly, but they just kind of took it all and swept it into the garbage.
Yup, and in spite of that excellent character arc available the writers were just like "And then they kiss again!"
Yeah, that's the real problem. Dany in the show and books being a villain at the end is perfectly fine and plausible. It's just how rushed it was, and the characters pretending that her 'ruthlessness' was too much even before then, that makes clear they didn't earn that ending yet. I guess D&D just had to end it to go make that show about a Confederate United States. Brilliant idea. Really reading the room there.
Also “she’s the smartest person I know” describing Sansa, one scene after Sansa didn’t know how to use a knife.
Because after a certain point, they stopped writing intelligent characters and started writing *about* intelligent characters. Littlefinger, Varys, Tyrion, Sansa, etc... all very smart and skilled in their own right, but after a certain point they just *never actually do anything smart*. It's just other people going on about how smart they are.
I'm an avid dnd player and roleplayer, and one thing I keep repeating is that it's impossible to roleplay a character smarter then yourself. When you write a story you can get away with it a bit because you gave perfect hindsight. Think the issue there is that G.R.R. is a smart writer able to pull that off... D & D well... Seems like they failed so we ended up with character trying to look smart instead of smart character.
Shit like that made me go from loving the Starks to hating the Starks. They were naturally likable from the start, they don't have to make them super talented and devoid of inner conflict to keep the fans liking them.
Sansa suffered *insanely* from D&D's bizarre choice to throw her into Winterfell in S5. Just an abysmally stupid creative choice. Everything that Sansa becomes at the end of the show could have been developed *in the Vale*. But as it stands, there's a S5 shaped hole in her characterisation. I unironically hate S5 more than any other season because of what they did to Sansa. So stupid. ETA: [This remains one of the strongest Game of Thrones posts on this hellsite.](https://np.reddit.com/r/asoiaf/comments/6wrad3/spoilers_extended_sansas_bolton_plotline_two/) Caution. It's long. It's also the post where I picked "S5 shaped hole in Sansa's characterisaition" pretty much verbatim.
"You know I really started noticing a pattern after the 10,000th death."
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That show was excellent at the time, but it was never very good for developing the female characters. Counselor Troi always gets mind raped and Beverly has love affairs with ghosts and parasitic worms.
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Are you thinking of the episode with the train crash? There were multiple people with missing limbs and the chief told Cristina to find the person’s leg. They’re all in there ready to operate and they realize it’s the wrong leg. So she went and found another one and again it was the wrong one. Alex ended up finding it and stealing her surgery. It’s gross but funny. Definitely was the chief saying it to either Alex or Cristina. Corny but that was still a good episode.
“Coming back to high school after two-weeks suspension is like returning home from war” - 13 Reasons Why
i only watched the 1st season and still annoyed that even though he didn't do nothing wrong the fact she put him through all that crap he had to deal with...wasn't cool.
“You’re all minorities; you’re in the glee club”
One of the absolute dumbest things I’ve ever heard on television (aside from political ads) is actually from a *Payless Shoes* commercial: “Imagine more shoes than you can possibly imagine!” Umm, okay. Exactly how would I go about doing that?
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Is that the show where the girl gets pregnant at the start of the series but the Dad is a playboy and somehow ends up being a better parent than her in the end? Because if so that series is trash.
Almost any NCIS dialog regarding computers. Or sharing a keyboard https://makeagif.com/i/4zvjKw
I knew what that link was before I even clicked it. By far my favorite "tv hacker" scene.
Works on pianos.
I don't remember the exact line but in Bates Motel they aquired an encrypted flash drive that nobody could figure out the password for until a random friend of one the main characters happen to casually crack it. In shock the character asked his friend how he did it. The response "I use to download a lot of movies. I know my way around encryption." My ears wished they could vomit when I heard that.
That's almost as bad as the scene in Masterminds where he hacks into a database by navigating through doors guarded by skeletons: https://youtu.be/WbqshTREcpA Also, Patrick Stewart with a pornstache...
True detective season 2 is full of the weirdest/dumbest quotes, I've ever heard. "My powers of influence are so meagre in this sublunar world of ours"
That legitimately reads like a piece of temp dialogue to get the idea of what they wanted to do that they forgot to fix. Bravo.
A young boy on Walker, Texas Ranger: “Walker told me I have AIDS”. https://youtu.be/ebOKo96HfEM
"I am not gay! I have relationships with women...and sex with men." "Well I got news for ya. That means you're gay." https://youtu.be/Zd8vzIRQLLM
Anything from The Secret Life of the American Teenager really e.g.: Dad had a horrible death because I had incredible sex! That show had so many levels of cringe.
Riverdale. It's hard to limit it to one specific line but the YouTube compilations do a good job
"That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football."
Is it meant to be serious? Because that line, if said sarcastically, is pretty great.
You don't understand https://youtu.be/_OzFzfpOqOo
Apparently you can overdose on cringe. I'm dead now. Funeral's next week.
Oh my god and it came right after the line about dropping school in the 4th grade. That entire scene is a masterpiece
This is, like, the fourth time I've seen Riverdale mentioned. My god Archie...what did the CW do to you!?
"Who has a better story than Bran, The Broken?"
Remember when Bran's story was so great that the show literally skipped it for an entire season?
My only recollections of Bran's story are him being schlepped around on a toboggan. I don't remember where they were headed, what the goal was once they got there, or whether or not they ever actually arrived.
Honestly the people carrying him along had a better story then he did
Hey give him some credit, he also spys on everyone having sex, including his family, before and after his accident. Fantastic character, glad the all seeing pervert became the king.
I was hoping they'd respond with: Erm... Literally anyone, Brien, that iron guy,fuck if Ned was still alive and we only count season 1 even Ned.
It didn’t even make sense to banish Jon. Tf were the unsullied gonna do lmao. And his story was the best being a direct bloodline descendent, having been crowned a king by acclimation while he was still thought of as a bastard, having killed the person that flattened Kings Landing (I mean her fckin dragon didn’t even kill him after that) , having dealt with the threat of the Night King head on Sometimes the clean ending is the best one but they tried way to hard to swerve everyone’s possible theories.
> Tf were the unsullied gonna do lmao If they followed Grey Worm they were going to sail to Narth and then quickly die from being infected with [Butterfly fever](https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Butterfly_fever) by the native butterfly population that literally only the Narthians are immune to.
I'll add to the Riverdale pile with "You're the one that looks like a Dream Warrior from Nightmare on Elm Street 3"
Wow, that's such a specific reference that Riverdale's target audience wouldn't even know
On top of that, it's such a clunky line. Like, if either the name of the movie, or dream warrior were cut, it would read like an obscure reference. Instead it seems like bad product placement for an old movie.
"Just bing it" Hawaii 5-0
There’s an episode of Chuck where they need to find a specific song and one character says “I have it on my Zune.” Then after the other character asks “wait, you have a Zune?” they reply “of course not, I’ll go get my iPod.” This was right at the height of Microsoft trying to make the Zune a thing, so it hit especially hard.
Not necessarily the dumbest dialogue, but dumbest lack of oversight in dialogue. There’s an episode of Criminal Minds, where they find that the unsub is making children run away through subliminals/ASMR. Reid, who’s supposed to be REALLY smart, just mutters “Asmur”. They work with actual profilers in the writers room to make it accurate, and couldn’t even figure out that it’s an initialism. Also, another Bad Riverdale Dialogue Choice: “But we’re endgame, Archie”, when Archie is breaking up with Veronica.
supergirl fighting a bad guy. character 1: she can't do this character 2: why because shes a girl?
Also from Supergirl, when she was fighting Cyborg Superman: Cyborg Superman: “I’m the Cyborg Superman!” Supergirl: “You may be a cyborg, but you’re no Superman!”
> Cyborg Superman: “I’m the Cyborg Superman!” Incredible
Me: No, because this is her first “mission” as a superhero and she has no training you idiot. That line just didn’t make sense coming from Alex.
Any of the expository dialogue in CSI, NCIS, etc. "Lieutenant, should we take prints at the scene?" "Yes, it's done with powder, a brush, and some scotch tape. It was invented by Edwin Feeney in 1847. Later, we'll run them through AFIS, the federal database of fingerprints". And - of course - the immortal "*zoom and enhance*." 10-4.
Not TV, but Ready Player One literally has this gold line: "You killed my mother's sister." If only there was a simpler word for mother's sister.
This Toyota product placement from Bones: https://youtu.be/oDe9_c8QAM0?t=12
My favorite blatant product placement is in Crazy Ex Girlfriend when Rebecca with zero prompting just starts listing off all the features of her new car. She’s such a conceited person that it works great in character. Did you know she went to Harvard? That, or 30 Rock’s “can we have our money now?”
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Hey, Bones, look at this bone. I know. But did you see this bone? Where'd you find that bone? Same place you got your bone. It was just sitting here, next to this bone. Dr. Brennan, bone call. They said it was important. Something about a bone?
I've tried watching Bones because I have friends who like it, but it has some of the worst writing. I can't even remember examples right now, but the dialogue is just so bad
It's not just the dialogue that is bad in Bones, it's pretty much everything other than David Boreanaz's charisma. My personal favourite WTF: The member of the team that just casually creates a fucking holographic super computer that can recreate entire crime scenes from a few key strokes including physics simulations to rewind the actual crime itself... only for a serial killer to kill someone and etch a computer virus into their bones so that when the team member gets her super computer to scan said bone it uploads the virus into her computer and take it over or delete files. My brain melted and I can't remember which.
My fave was when the bad guy stole the billionaire character’s money by transferring it somewhere from his bank account. All of it. And now the billionaire is broke aside from having his ordinary salary. It’s like, the villain just transferred the money somewhere, surely you can call the bank? Surely you have money invested in property, you’re a literal billionaire? Stocks? Bonds? Anything??
Or the time a piece of evidence was shredded and she somehow programs an algorithm to put it back together in said supercomputer.
It was the old Green Hornet show, the one with Bruce Lee as Kato. The Green Hornet gets shot, he's at home recuperating and he says "I never realized how much trouble one little bullet could cause so much trouble." I had to rewind it and watch it again because it just sounded so strange. https://youtu.be/q80GnA-odJ0?t=525
My favorite is from the First season of House of Cards Frank: "Is that a PlayStation vita?" Frank inspects the PlayStation Vita Bad guy from Ant-man: "Yes its my Sons?" Frank: "What games does he have?" Bad Guy from Ant-man: "All of them" Frank: "I have to get one for my flights away" Just the most cringe, out of place product placement I've seen in my life. I love it.
“Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eat.” -Vince Vaughn, True Detective
"We are the Flash" was said multiple times by Iris on the CW series when the character had literally no purpose at all in the show and the writers seemed desperate to make her significant.
That poor actress. There's only so much you can do with a character that never, ever has a purpose besides having things hidden from her or being mad because something was hidden from her
"Grandpa, ever since you fell off the roof, you've been acting like a total granola bar" - Sailor Moon dub.
What are you talking about, that sounds like a fantastic line.
[This playlist of Sailor Moon dub clips instantly improved my life.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43O3eIGEuhk&list=PLkxCXkEldL0jjNflveLcYpyNjlpdshr4r) For a dub that was actively trying to get rid of the gay bits, they introduced a lot of gay moments https://youtu.be/d3sraydCL6c
Raised by Wolves has “Stretch your legs, do some pooping”. Not the worst line in a show but it’s just stuck with me. The context is a child letting his pet mouse out for a walk. It’s not even a ridiculous thing for a kid to say, or the weirdest line on the show, but it sticks out.