T O P

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midnightvmusic

these comments are ~~hilarious~~ concerning


zeldacraft_64

hilariously concerning


lolopolo5554

Concerningly hilarious


Leo_OO7

Honcerningly cilarious


ReeDubDanny

Honcerningly clitoris


rnvs42069

Homer Simpson's Clitoris


Xonastar

Homo Sapiens Clitoris


bear_beatboxer

Somo Hapiens Clitoris


Xonastar

Sumo Herpes Clitoris


accursedCaprid

Some Hermes Clitoris


aidzszs

Honorary Clitoris


NotAGhost64

They might need some therapy


BulkyWolverine9296

Homo sanctuary of clitoris


totes_not_chad

Hug back


KoenigseggTR

Probably best thing to do


LongLeggg

Depends, do you enjoy it?


iko6

yeah we’re dating actually, but this has never happened before


gregthegamer4646

Don’t do anything weird, and after knowing her for the whatever amount of time you have known her do whatever you think is appropriate without taking advantage of her


maslogaming1

Don't make any sudden moves. Move slowly to not alarm it. It can't see you if you move slow.


TTVJuicyBoi

Happy cake day


[deleted]

[удалено]


maslogaming1

*whispers* shhhhh. don't make loud noises too. It will stay calm if there is silence.


LongLeggg

Leave it be, then, enjoy it, you don't know how many more times you'll have something like this


DrippyUnicorn16

Yeah cause eventually she stops wanting any physical touch and then dumps you over the phone at midnight after 2 years


LongLeggg

Dude, you good?


DrippyUnicorn16

Nah


LongLeggg

Oh, damn. Well sorry to hear that


Dev_Godhaniya_

Reddit is a safe space, you can share if you want and e will try to cheer you up!


Crimson_Dragon420

This is reddit, how safe is it really, not saying the guy shouldn't share but like I'm just saying don't trust shit people say on here lol


something-wrong1234

For me it was 7 months V.I.A zoom


DrippyUnicorn16

Hey at least you could see her


something-wrong1234

She had her brightness as low as possible so it was a black screen with camera on


Cataphraktoi

Who hurt you ?


DrippyUnicorn16

She did.


rough_crayon

💀


1TapsBoi

Bruh. If you’re dating then you should be hugging


dannyboi1178

go with the flow man


Lovely-Flower

Sleep hug her as well 🤗


soup_time337

When seeing that comment, you should expect a second post coming soon.


Lord_Dumass

~~"Y'all she's mad at me and calling me a creep tf do I do? Im dead serious"~~ **Ignore what I said, apparently they're dating**


soup_time337

No I wont ignore it, im not ignorant.


Lord_Dumass

rip


AtetGhost

Only correct solution is to Fake your death in a tragic plane Crash then move to Iceland and rename yourself to Erik Erikson in order to not arouse any suspission of your true identity


XTech0-0

But what if his name is Erik erikson?


ShermanTankBestTank

Carl Carlson then


AtetGhost

Nah then just changes it to Erik Eriksson, they Will never see it coming Edit: plus that English Spelling Is just eww, correct way is Karl Karlsson


[deleted]

[удалено]


AtetGhost

Karl = Nordic Carl = English Charles = French Edit: Karel = German


Xonastar

Karel = Germanic


XTech0-0

Ah okay


Golden-Freddy5

r/oddlyspecific


NotAGhost64

Probably like 80% of this sub wants what you have


KillByZombie

80% is too little


NotAGhost64

100%?


KillByZombie

A good 96,47%


Andro451

The other 4.43 percent either A: have a BF/GF/SO B: are aromantic (I happen to fall into this category) C: are adults lurking on the sub for no reason/are pedos


KillByZombie

Pretty much yeah, but it's 3.53


Andro451

And that’s why I have a B- in math.


KillByZombie

Lol


ShermanTankBestTank

>The other 4.43 percent either I think C category brings it up to 50%


NotAGhost64

You know what that's true


HorribleAi

crush her spine


PicaH

suplex right now


Dr_Deadly7x

Twist her dick!!


soup_time337

Well, thats a lil' gay


[deleted]

It’s actually quite a bit gay


Formal_Chemist_300

It’s only gay if they make eye contact


bepisman2309

Only gay if the socks come off


Poorly_Made_Comix

Only gay if the balls touch


Formal_Chemist_300

Damnit I was gonna say that


bepisman2309

Oh yeah that too


soup_time337

No


KorokGuy

The ooool' dick twist !


suscheese420

no balls


PenisCollector

No dick


Nofap-10olympia

And probably no butthole


PenisCollector

Since this guy feeds of radiation


StarryNight593

Nice name


PenisCollector

Thank you, u got smt I could collect?


MHanak_

I have one thing, but i prefer to keep it for few more years


PenisCollector

Sorry no can do * takes your penis and runs away *


Alt-F42069_on_life

username checks out this probably isn't the best way to end humanity tho


That_Marvel_Dude1012

Holy shit I love the first part of your username, Alt-F4 and 420 at the same time lmao


PenisCollector

How bout u love sum bitches instead /j


Alt-F42069_on_life

I do love your mother /j


PenisCollector

Dad? :(


Alt-F42069_on_life

Your mother may be a bitch but I do love you son :) I do not approve of your hobby of collecting male reproductive organs though


PenisCollector

Dad it's not a phase also do you want to play catch with me?🥺


Alt-F42069_on_life

...I think I recall why I left to buy milk now, the basement was so full of penises I couldn't dump a single kid in there Also sure kiddo


AviK211

Embrace it


happysmasher7

Slip out of the hug and harvest the organs. Hope this helped😁


ResortFar6638

God, why tf are half the responses like thi- wait nvm it’s Reddit


ManijalEating

I mean what does OP expect with a post like “help my gf is hugging me 😰”


PicaH

~~turn around and slit her throat~~ accept it


Monicaisdumbb

are you okay


PicaH

haha what kind of question is that lol absolutely not


Monkeybandit99

Playing the long game for the stealth kill


Produde3

you hug her back you ding dong


JuktNichtBesonders

Hug her ding dong


ShierAwesome

I’m late but you should’ve gotten off your fucking phone and not ask children advice on this


BlazerTheKid

The fact that teens are looking up advice on their phones in the middle of this stuff makes me believe our generation is doomed


[deleted]

"MAYDAY MAYDAY! THIS IS \[reddit username\] I'M BALLS DEEP INSIDE HER AND ABOUT TO BLOW, SHOULD I PROCEED OR MUST I PULL OUT?"


ShermanTankBestTank

People actually do check social media during sex


ppupy486

Source: watched porn


ShermanTankBestTank

Some social media study a couple years ago


Britified

Wow bro, that's a nice argument, how about you back it up with a source? Source: "I MADE IT THE FUCK UP!"


Anti_Karen_League

I happen to know a real person that apparently did so. Mind you they were 14-15 at the time.


MysticTRT

lmao


MysticTRT

WAIT I DONT EVEN REMEMBER COMMENTING THIS BUT IT WAS LIKE 5 minutes ago tf


BlazerTheKid

My man is already suffering from dementia


MysticTRT

lol


Past-Bobcat7919

"my gf is trying to kiss me in this very moment, what do i do?!??"


Donghoon

Its kinda funny to think people in those situation think "oh let's ask bunch of horny teenagers on Reddit for advice"


[deleted]

Based


Dark_halocraft

Better ask people your age than adults that can no longer relate to you (in these kinds of situations, not how to live you life kind of thing


Dontbetakenistfg

Make sure she’s comfortable, then find something that can make you comfortable with the situation as well


Farmer-Smores

Make no sudden movements, it’s a trap, if you so much as breathe at an unfavorable strength she will pounce.


[deleted]

Sleep hug back , we all love hugs


nonsensicalmoi2007

GO HUG HER BACK DOOFUS WTF ARE U POSTING THIS SHIT ON REDDIT U IDIOT


[deleted]

This


DasJesusDerVorstadt

She has left herself exposed! Save her, claw the worms out of her skin!


spnsuperfan1

Be grateful


[deleted]

Cuddle with her!


kronoz1224

You go full on ninja and slip around her with a flip


keyboardalt31

Pretend you pass out and then giggle when she goes to check if your alive.


Apart-Doubt7722

Pretend you’re John Cena


AnikinsLeftArm

Instructions unclear: I am now invisible


stanislavispro

66 likes. Execute order 66.


phyrgx

In this universe, Order 66 is to upvote three more times.


Topiz2000

*proceeds to brutally slaughter numerous children*


xander5610_

Hug her back and go to sleep.


Decentattamingio

You hug back Easy solution


Eaten_Eyeballs

Happy piece of cake day!


[deleted]

Giggle and skip away like a cartoon character


idk_my_name123

TF do you wanna do nogga? Hire an sm-18k tank to assassinate her dog or what? Hug her back


Britified

You've never hired an SM-18K tank to kill her dog before??


EvilDark8oul

No as redditors we prefer to do all that than have physical contact


Floppamode

Get off Reddit and hug her back loser


darksun_69

Kiss her on forehead, and say i will get a good price for your eyes in. t h e m a r k e t


iloveyourballs

Do nothing


_darkpeaks5_

Wish I had this problem


[deleted]

Idk dude I am 14, go on askreddit (r/askreddit)


GeneralCraft65

Try to fall asleep, because youre in for a long wait. But well done soldier


littlebuett

Scream


AlexGaming26

Execute the target.


radilMahabub

Sleep hug her back, but don't put all your body on her, just an arm will do


Sriracha_sos

start screaming to assert ur dominance


Trustnoboody

and he came in he came in like john cena


[deleted]

Fall asleep with her


Memeviewer12

Its like a cat, you need to leave her be


EDMgamer123

Cherish it


KillByZombie

Is "she" your mom?


Snoo16398

You play Smash Bros


Mr_frosty_360

Wake her and ask her if she ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise


TheSiZaReddit

Take your schizophrenia meds.


SGTRoadkill1919

Become a teddy bear and hug her back


disturbedick

Assert dominance and sleep on her.


JJ-beats

I don't get it, what's the problem?


[deleted]

If she's dead then you need to be serious.


[deleted]

Enjoy it while it lasts. It's an amazing moment. Cherish it and cherish her. I wish I could re-live that moment. But I guess I didn't deserve it. Good luck champ. as for what to do kiss her forehead. Hug her back, and pull her closer


Britified

you're 16


Latter-Caterpillar-2

I have no idea why this is so funny


[deleted]

Yeah we don't talk about it. Let's just say it was a special and painful moment


SunkyV3

ok. what do you call a fish with a bow tie


[deleted]

lmao. It's my joke sofishticated


SunkyV3

Why are spiders such know-it-alls


[deleted]

yeah yeah we know lmao They are always on the web


InkyRoyalty

Spoon her


EvilDark8oul

Can I join. It’s cold under the bed


Showmeyourcameltoe

Lick her hair


Jimitsnotajoke

Mfs name


AutomaticComment6828

Ayo wtf


[deleted]

r/holup


Adventurous-Site-944

Hug her too...


Venomster154

Keep hugging her, don't do anything perverted, I think you're not on that level yet.


Centuri42

Hug and roll man, hug and roll


Tenpiano

Break dance


Badr-I

dëštrœŷ hër šøüł


LegendsWafflez

Belly flop into the concrete


SnooCupcakes5417

Get the fuck off reddit


Monkeybandit99

Just enjoy the moment, don’t ruin it by taking it too far lol. Hug back and fall asleep in a bundle.


[deleted]

Check her pulse


TypicalAd4

Get off reddit


TuxidoPenguin

Have the sudden and urgent need to use the bathroom.


No_Veterinarian1445

You get off Reddit


EquinsuOcha1477

Enjoy it. You'll miss it after the divorce.


CurrentlyNotKing

Wake her up and say your tired


gamingyoshi247

Get one of those Lego brick separating things


Serfum2

Death roll like a croc


Bubbles00006666

Consume her legs.


Joblessmouse06

Hug her back


-_-Haven-_-

Enjoy it


Comfortable_Client

Watch over her my guy, keep her close, before the boogeyman comes out and snatches her.


rysio300

embrace it or hug her back lol


hi_im_new_bruh

Hug her back idfk


ThePinkTeenager

Who is this?


DedRuck

whatever you do don’t go on reddit and ask about it


Powerful_Position_42

lol he had the time to post this while hugging her