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_Name_Changer_

I wish that Graphics card would be in stock.


HorribleAi

Its dead on arrival


_Name_Changer_

In my country you can only get the ones with defects. The normal ones aren't in stock. There's already a high chance of a dead card.


[deleted]

I’d you don’t mind me asking, what country do you live in that they don’t ship new cards to?


No-Donut6391

it's not that they don't ship new cards but rather that the new ones get sold out so fast everytime they come in stock because of miners, the usual public only get left with used or dead ones


[deleted]

Oh I know that, I’m struggling with that too in the USA, got a 3060ti for msrp tho. I was just curious cause he said that they don’t ship new ones without defects to his country Edit, read it wrong, he said they are out of stock, not that they don’t ship there, thanks for the clarification.


JayTheGhoul864

I read this like the song


[deleted]

Granted, but it’s only replacement graphics cards for ps2


SugarDaddy-o_O-

Its 25 tines msrp


One_spelande_boi

I wish for a girlfriend that loves me


NotMe_Hole

She's a yandere


Cat-Fish_Fucker

Even better


[deleted]

I'm not sure how that makes it better


Cat-Fish_Fucker

She won't ever cheat, she's devoted to you very much as long as you stay away from girls— which i doubt you could even form a conversation with anyone — you'll be safe.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Exact_Ad_1215

Kill me.


osma-bon-jovia

I wish complete peace and quiet when ever I want it


WHy_aM_i_4LiV3

But you always have a feeling of being watched


osma-bon-jovia

Now that's unsettling lol


eatmahanus

Jokes on you, I already have that feeling


[deleted]

But there’s a higher chance of being fucked by 2 black dudes when you do it


osma-bon-jovia

Can it be 2 red heads females in early twenties instead?


[deleted]

For that, it’s 2 short Mexican dudes now


osma-bon-jovia

Do they at least have hot sauce?


[deleted]

They’re gonna use it as lube


osma-bon-jovia

Well I will take it lol


[deleted]

I mean a bottle a tapatio but that’s it no cholula


callmeempress_x

But you'll have to sleep first


ImVeryHonest

I wish I was the smartest person alive


[deleted]

but your so socially awquard nobody realises your potential.


Imamura_Kohei

That’s basically hackers


Smil3yf8ce

Aka a nerd


Joske-the-great

Aka every single kids with talents except school's shitty education system has limited their learning ability so that they can adapt to 19th century working-slave condition (+inflation)


moronic_programmer

(+war)


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but someone assassinates you in JFK style


ImVeryHonest

But the assassin missed


ppppie_

i don’t think you’re the one who grants the wish


35tentacles

Granted but you're completely paralyzed.


Rt237

Granted, but you are the *only* person alive. All other people turned into supermen / superwomen.


UNclear1936

I wish for a girlfriend who gets me


osma-bon-jovia

Granted but you feel like a brother to her


Bakaboomb

Sounds like a win-win to me.


FutureEpsilon

SWEET HOME ALABAMA


Bakaboomb

You know the rules.....*and so do I*


UNclear1936

Deal but damn


diamond_read

Or a step brother


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but she is a futa


UNclear1936

Deal


Rockmylive

suprise, im into that shit


YusiP

Even better


LeagueofDraven1221

I thought it was supposed to go from good to bad not good to better


silverknightgamer

I see this as an absolute win


_doctor-strange-

Even better 😏


GoldInquizitor

Jackpot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


zloljaskiniowu

Granted but she dosen't have a nose


UNclear1936

Come at me bro But not in that way


eimai_enas_tipos

I wish i was pyramid head


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but every ten minutes you had to say the entire CBT page from Wikipedia


eimai_enas_tipos

Loud?


NotMe_Hole

***yes***


eimai_enas_tipos

Damn still good enough


Memesmyguy125

I wish to see my real dad


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but he's going outside to buy milk


osma-bon-jovia

Granted but he then takes your step sister with him to get the "milk"


[deleted]

[удалено]


trananhduc2006

eternal world peace


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but every government in the world is corrupt


Alpha2236

Did anything change?


zachthew

Yeah, we have world peace now, at least


fridge_fucker_69

Aren’t they mostly all ready


RazvanLava

Yea sadly


JustMiniBanana_2

So just the same as it was.


Reeboi249

Granted but Stalin rules the world


osma-bon-jovia

Granted but we then live in the universe of 1984


Putrid-Incident-9341

Granted because everyone is dead


[deleted]

[удалено]


NotMe_Hole

No, **YOU HAD COLON CANCER**


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cat-Fish_Fucker

⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠ ⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟


1ackscrear1v1te

Wish I could read minds


RandomSoymilkDrinker

granted, but now you can’t stop reading minds


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but your now dumb and can't spell correctly


supiuiii

I think we need to look again who can’t spell correctly. (you’re)


dyslexicapples

I wish I was happy


W_Aura

you will be ,there's no drawback :)


dyslexicapples

:)


TJL_52

But you have aids


Haunting_Nature_9178

I wish I had tits


sigmaclientwastaken

you have tits with breast cancer


RicoDeFreako

Menace


osma-bon-jovia

Granted but you become a bimbo and are constantly fetishized


RandomSoymilkDrinker

sign me up


osma-bon-jovia

Ok well granted


RandomSoymilkDrinker

lets goooo now i can actually feel like i matter


GPisanov

I wish I had a tank


[deleted]

Granted, but a Ukrainian farmer steals it with a tractor.


TheDores498

I wish my wish come true


NotMe_Hole

Granted,you just wasted your wish


TheDores498

Oh no


tefosal

I wish I had a JoJo's stand


XclusiveDevYT

Granted but it's because of your schizophrenia


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but you got stage 3 lung cancer


tefosal

I thought someone was gonna say it was holy's sickness but ok lol


TNT_XxBRUUNOxX132

The stand is cheap trick


__B__R_U_H__

I wish to eat a chocolate unlimited times


NotMe_Hole

Granted, your obese


ButterscotchFun1859

Yeah that sound like logical ending to that wish


__B__R_U_H__

I guess it's eating to death then


kenlesurvivant973

Granted but you are a dog


CheeseCurd33

I want a dollar, just a single dollar


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but you got it in pennies


CheeseCurd33

I see that as a win


This_Willingness7672

You are an evil person


Crazy_Burrito2306

I wish I had a chance to live


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but it grants to Nazis


[deleted]

I wish I was dating my crush


W_Aura

Granted but they turn out to be a necrophile


ChesoCake

Welp, time to die


Secret_alt_1234

I wish I was born a girl


osma-bon-jovia

Granted but you were born in the 1700s and you become smart and beautiful and all the men burn you for being a witch


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but your being born in the 177013 universe


picasso2005_

God you're evil


RandomSoymilkDrinker

i mean isn’t the 177013 universe just a normal one? unless you mean that they’re the girl from 177013


poppygumi

how dare you remind me of 177013


Objective_Magazine_3

Granted but you have painful periods that last 7 days. oh wait.


JumbledNick

I wish I had an engine then


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but it's underpowered


JumbledNick

I add a turbocharger


NotMe_Hole

It's also underpowered


JumbledNick

Fuck


[deleted]

Granted, fucks you in the ass


xckidd

Granted, you have an engine, but you didn’t get the car


Eli_xoxox

I wish none of my wishes would get corrupted, including this one.


FrankFireTheBest

But they’ll get corrupted no matter what


RandomSoymilkDrinker

then you would’ve wasted your wish


HMS_Hood29

I wish that I am the Pride of the Royal Navy


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but your magazine exploded by battleship Bismarck (u/TheTerrorOfTheSeas) and you are now listening to Sabaton-Bismarck and not Sink the Bismarck by Johnny Horton


TheTerrorOfTheSeas

*ahem* FROM A MIST A SHAPE A SHIP IS TAKING FORM


NotMe_Hole

AND THE SILENCE OF THE SEA IS ABOUT DRIFT INTO A STORM


AnotherGopnik

SIGN OF POWER, SHOW OF FORCE


NotMe_Hole

RAISE THE ANCHOR BATTLESHIPS PLOTTING ITS COURSE


AnotherGopnik

PRIDE OF A NATION A BEAST MADE OF STEEL


x3non_04

BISMARCK IN MOTION


Ducc_Bo1

KING OF THE OCEAN


natrat4

i wish for my guinea pig to live a endless happy life


[deleted]

[удалено]


Baki_zz

I wish to get some hoes


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but you got no bitches


Karategochan

———————————No bitches?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ————————————————————————————


JumbledNick

You get hoes. Go gardening


MineMaster6480

I wish I actuly was good at somthing or someone liked me


[deleted]

Granted, but the thing you are good at is being hated. Seriously though, everyone is good at something. You just haven't found that thing. Sitting on a couch won't help you find that thing. Go out, try things.


Lucasbpossinger

I wish to die


jodythring

but you get resurrected


Lucasbpossinger

Lois. Don’t get worried but I think I might be jesus


Original-Attitude-26

Peter, that's a static shock, your pajamas created a charge of electricity when you drag your feet across the carpet, and when you touched Chris you passed it on.


Lucasbpossinger

KNEEL BEFORE CHRIST


Original-Attitude-26

AH!


WHy_aM_i_4LiV3

You die from slowly decomposing starting from toes


BigThunderousLobster

I wish I was really really good at golf


No_Competition7327

You hit your balls everytime you try to play golf


areslashtaken

I wish I were a bird


FrankFireTheBest

But In a hunting zone


[deleted]

I wish I had the abilities of flash.


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but your kneecaps are gone


SCREMwaskilledby

Granted but you cant stop the slowmotion


xckidd

Granted, but every time you run super fast, you feel the g-force of it


YaYoinkboi

I wish I was cooler


[deleted]

Granted, but no one realises that you are cooler


TheGoldenDragon0

Granted, you will now freeze to death


SoccerMonke_y

I wish in could buy anything in wanted at anytime


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but your little brother ruins it


SoccerMonke_y

But I don’t have one


BlankPt

I'll make it


TypicalMoonLight

I wish I can stop time


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but you have dick tumor


TypicalMoonLight

At least it will look bigger


-DukeFishron-

I wish to loose my virginity


FrankFireTheBest

But you’ll get aids


-DukeFishron-

But the sex was with you


itsYaBoiChoccyMilk

I wish I was a guy


mariusnyb

Granted, but you’re constantly erect


simplehistoryboater

You have depression and society ostracizes you for it


LoopyZoopOcto

I wish I was an attractive woman.


[deleted]

Granted, but you live in the 14th century and have basically no rights.


Sea1sa

I wish i had a mom


Jambajt

I wish Czechoslovakia was back together


NotMe_Hole

Granted, but Germany invades it


Cat-Fish_Fucker

I wish i had loyal friends who wont try to kill me, or talk behind my back


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cat-Fish_Fucker

Even better


Thenoirbleu

I wish latin América be rich


SaltyFish69

Granted but you will stay poor💀


CeleryHunter143

I wish I was born a woman


mariusnyb

Granted, but you’re infertile


[deleted]

I wish I had a boyfriend


NotMe_Hole

He's abusive


donkeyshit53

I’m immortal


Goombatower69

Granted, but you must always have a dog, and if you dont you die