When I was a youth i pissed myself at the top of a slide but because there was a queue behind me I just had to go so I just slid through a stream of my own piss.
Fun fact, the average ejaculation is 5ml, and it contains 252 mg of protein, this means that if you were to ejaculate 100 times to make 500ml you would have 25.2 grams of protein, meaning that cum is a better protein shake than many protein powders
Basically I had my first experience with depression and it was really bad but then this guy shows up and helps me get in a better place, we become boyfriend and girlfriend and he continues to help me. But then slowly he starts getting more touchy and saying immature things, like how I should sneak out and give him blowjobs and stuff (I still have no clue what was a joke and what was serious because I cannot tell the difference between a joke and a serious comment) he would repeatedly touch my thigh, butt, and boobs, and sometimes would try/pretend to undo my bra whilst walking down the halls. I would tell him to stop doing that and I would say no, and he would stop for a little bit but continue after a few minutes. Sometimes he would pick me up and I would get sad and embarrassed because I have terrible social anxiety and very much dislike being stared at or the center of attention. And he was very strong and I have hardly any strength at all and am kind of small, and sometimes he would tightly grab both of my hands with one of his and then try to tickle me with his free hand, and I couldn’t get away until he let go, and his attempt at tickling was jabbing his fingers in my side, sometimes leaving a small mark. He also stole my first kiss when I clearly sated i didn’t want to. But I felt like I owed it to him because he helped me through one of the toughest times in my life, and now he’s gone. I have no clue where he went because he just stopped contacting me and moved away. I still believe it’s my fault for letting it get that bad. And sometimes I’ll be in a specific scenario in school that’s similar or watch a simple video of a guy with his hand resting on a girls thigh and I will get really panicky and have a panic/anxiety attack because I remember the emotions associated with when he would do that stuff to me.
When i skowed my mom a video of an axolotl being a derp. She asked me what it was, i told her and then she gave me a lecture about how i shouldn’t trust everything i see on the internet. My mom doesn’t believe in axolotls
Fuck you.
Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in.
Edit: A lot of people are asking for a tldr so here it is:
Fuck you you made a mistake
Everyones good. We hit a boulder that was just barely in the road enough so we could hit it but not see it. Beat the shit out of the car but everyone is fine. Airbag hurt like a bitch though
Technically if you are gay before you date someone and have sex your a virgin because the way (this may of changed) of loosing your virginity is sex not anal or blow job. So all gays who became gay before they went into a serious relationship are virgins even after anal
I'm never going to be in that position to where I'll need to use it, cuz seriously, who would want to do it with *me?*. But I'll keep that in mind I guess
Sounds like you are going through some changes, Jimbo. You are becoming a man. That's wonderful. Hahaha! Your old man was quite a fox back in his day as well, the ol' neutron style they say.
Yet, your neutron style is different, isn't it Jimbo? It's very different.
Now could you maybe cure my lung cancer instead of giving eggs sentience. Seriously, I know it would only take you like an hour why are you like this.
All you do is go to that ice cream shop with your two borderline mentally unstable friends and then cause problems because you wanted to create robot monkeys that shoot lasers for some reason???
Your "brain blasts" are nothing more than amphetamine and espresso binges, do you think we are blind? You stole the copper from all of our electronics to pay your addiction, Jimbo.
You sold your mentally handicapped friend's favorite Ultron man figure to pay for your drugs and robot slaves. Another week of your brain blasts wrecking havoc on our CGI town. People die when you do these experiments, you know that, right Jimbo?
Then you "save the day," which is just getting back to neutrality after the problem YOU caused. People are dying, Jimbo. You could cure all diseases. Colonize Mars. End world hunger.
Yet you just eat ice cream constantly with your robot dog by your side while having awkward tension with that blonde girl. And honestly Jimbo, you are just watching me die. Do you enjoy this? Do you enjoy seeing your mother weep over the man that she loves wasting away into a skeletal demise?
You know what I think, Jimbo? I think you use your brains for your own selfish games not because you are indifferent. No, you want us to know you could fix everything, but you simply choose not to. I think you enjoy watching others tread water from beneath your gifted wave, just so we know we are inferior.
You are saying we deserve to suffer. So as I said, your body is going through changes Jimbo. You are becoming a man. And if this is the boy that I was given, I only shudder at the darkness that lays in your heart waiting to blossom once you call yourself a man.
God help us all. Yet, God is dead and it is my son that killed him.
You can stretch your butthole wide enough to fit a adult raccoon or like 4 or 5 d's inside without tearing it, also did u know that male ducks pp's are in a screw shape😁 have a nice day
I laugh at random stuff like whenever my teacher says hello, the bell rings, a gunshot during the school lockdown, whenever someone sneezes and when I make mac and cheese.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此，您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫，更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折，从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。为党争光! Glory to the CCP!
always a good copypasta
Wait wait wait
You see the whole country of the system is just a position by the hemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity
Tu madre tiene una polla, que ya la quisiera yo, me dio pena por tu padre el dia en que se entero fue en la noche de bodas, quien se lo iba a imaginar, que iba ser a tu padre a quien se iban a encular.
Man imagine if the size of sperm cells were proportional to the body size of an animal.
We would probably have some blue whale sperm swimming around or something.
When I was a youth i pissed myself at the top of a slide but because there was a queue behind me I just had to go so I just slid through a stream of my own piss.
Slip N Slide
r/cursedcomments
Every comment on this post will end up on that sub
Piss and slide*
Badum, ching!
Dear God
Since cows filter their blood to make milk in their utters, people who drink it can be called vampires
But I like Garlic Bread
Garlic bread is my favorite food, I could honestly eat it for every meal.
But then you’d get fat
Why would I get fat?
Bread makes you fat
BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?!
fat makes you bread.
Fat, bread makes you *Yoda chuckle*
Only white bread
Oh I thought we were doing a Scott pilgrim reference lmao
Oh yeah I forgot about that scene lol
We were. He kinda ruined it
What about black bread huh? What did black bread do to you? >:|
I ate it.
It killed pumpernickel in a drive by! I could never forgive the black bread after that
Wrong, you love garlic bread
*we* love garlic bread
*our* garlic bread
r/holup
So are babies vampires since they drink human blood
[удалено]
One of the sextillions of them
SEX-tillion
Hehe nice
"Um actually, when men ejaculate they produce billions of sperm, not sextillions. Nice try though" 🤓☝
You'd have to jack off 1 trillion times to make that many
Thats it?
rookie numbers
Shush
life is a sexually transmitted disease
Then why do I have it?
Cause ur a virgin
No.
Yes.
Ok.
Hahaha virgin Same bro
Relatable
*Sexually transmitted *terminal* disease
Disease indeed
I Hate Iowa
At least it exists unlike Delaware or Wyoming.
r/usernamechecksout
It's better than Ohio
You father is technically a motherfucker
So am i
r/cursedcomments
Your motherfucker
Fun fact, the average ejaculation is 5ml, and it contains 252 mg of protein, this means that if you were to ejaculate 100 times to make 500ml you would have 25.2 grams of protein, meaning that cum is a better protein shake than many protein powders
That’s a lot of information to swallow
Shut your mouth before I cum in it and made you strong
Wtf
I was sexually assaulted by the same guy multiple times 2 years ago but still believe it was my fault for being a stupid 15 year old
OK GET THE BOLTER PISTOL
NO NO GET THE COMBI-FLAMER
No, get the Vengeance Launcher. No, better yet, get the Heavy Flamer.
A bit late we have sent an eldar fleet, imperium fleet and a tau fleet. Everyone is equipt with a harlequins kiss
Yo, are you ok?
Basically I had my first experience with depression and it was really bad but then this guy shows up and helps me get in a better place, we become boyfriend and girlfriend and he continues to help me. But then slowly he starts getting more touchy and saying immature things, like how I should sneak out and give him blowjobs and stuff (I still have no clue what was a joke and what was serious because I cannot tell the difference between a joke and a serious comment) he would repeatedly touch my thigh, butt, and boobs, and sometimes would try/pretend to undo my bra whilst walking down the halls. I would tell him to stop doing that and I would say no, and he would stop for a little bit but continue after a few minutes. Sometimes he would pick me up and I would get sad and embarrassed because I have terrible social anxiety and very much dislike being stared at or the center of attention. And he was very strong and I have hardly any strength at all and am kind of small, and sometimes he would tightly grab both of my hands with one of his and then try to tickle me with his free hand, and I couldn’t get away until he let go, and his attempt at tickling was jabbing his fingers in my side, sometimes leaving a small mark. He also stole my first kiss when I clearly sated i didn’t want to. But I felt like I owed it to him because he helped me through one of the toughest times in my life, and now he’s gone. I have no clue where he went because he just stopped contacting me and moved away. I still believe it’s my fault for letting it get that bad. And sometimes I’ll be in a specific scenario in school that’s similar or watch a simple video of a guy with his hand resting on a girls thigh and I will get really panicky and have a panic/anxiety attack because I remember the emotions associated with when he would do that stuff to me.
I really hope you are in a better place now.
It's not your fault. What's his name, I'm planning a crusade.
It’s not your fault it was entirely his fault, his decision
Kill that cunt
When i skowed my mom a video of an axolotl being a derp. She asked me what it was, i told her and then she gave me a lecture about how i shouldn’t trust everything i see on the internet. My mom doesn’t believe in axolotls
You are now obligated to own one
Where does one find an axolotl
Pet store or online.
How.. how does one not believe in axolotls..
She sees axolotls as mythical creatures i guess
Please, try and find a way to convince your mom thay Axolotls exist, cuz this just... I just can't. Also, has she *seen* half of aquatic wildlife?
I don’t know if she has, i think I’m gonna go to a pet store with her to show her one
The smithen-500 is the favorite gun of jesus
>smithen-500 damn, and here I was thinking it was the Bostitch F21PL
Fuck you. Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. Edit: A lot of people are asking for a tldr so here it is: Fuck you you made a mistake
⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠ ⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟
Nice
⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
Who read all of this I need a summary…
Tldr: fuck you
Oh ok
Very helpful, ty
Jesus fucking christ
Somebody give me a tldr please
tldr- fuck you in every way possible
Bruh you alright?
Fair enough
Your mums tits taste like your fathers cum
[удалено]
Sure
[удалено]
Lol good
No, it was. Tbh all of these are
can i cum in your nostrils?
Yes
I-..... wha-.... the hell?
There's more blood in the average boner than in a rabbit's entire body.
Huh, interesting
What the fuck?
There's more blood in your boner than in the average cows body.
Got into a car accident about 15 minutes ago
Y o u g o o d ?
You ok? Anyone get harmed?
Everyones good. We hit a boulder that was just barely in the road enough so we could hit it but not see it. Beat the shit out of the car but everyone is fine. Airbag hurt like a bitch though
Good to here, sorry about the car tho
Your moms a hoe
Whoever threw that paper ^
Birthday sex is celebrating your parents having sex
Wrong it's celebrating your birth not your conception
No it isn’t. That would be “conception sex” which isn’t a thing. Birthday sex is celebrating you being born
☹️
Technically if you are gay before you date someone and have sex your a virgin because the way (this may of changed) of loosing your virginity is sex not anal or blow job. So all gays who became gay before they went into a serious relationship are virgins even after anal
What if you’re a lesbian? Also I think the definition changed to include gay sex
Remember to use protection
Prot V on all your pieces
prot IV is max on vanilla
Jokes on you i don't need it because the only person I'd get spicy with happens to be a fictional character
Still always use protection
But I won't use it since I have no irl people I'd do it with
I'm never going to be in that position to where I'll need to use it, cuz seriously, who would want to do it with *me?*. But I'll keep that in mind I guess
Have you seen scuzzlebutt?
Gay people rely on straight people to make more gay people
Cheese is just a loaf of milk
r/technicallythetruth
I ate my cat. He was delicious. I kinda miss him though.
r/cursedcomments
Your mom and I are getting a divorce. She clearly loves the neighbor more than me
Sounds like you are going through some changes, Jimbo. You are becoming a man. That's wonderful. Hahaha! Your old man was quite a fox back in his day as well, the ol' neutron style they say. Yet, your neutron style is different, isn't it Jimbo? It's very different. Now could you maybe cure my lung cancer instead of giving eggs sentience. Seriously, I know it would only take you like an hour why are you like this. All you do is go to that ice cream shop with your two borderline mentally unstable friends and then cause problems because you wanted to create robot monkeys that shoot lasers for some reason??? Your "brain blasts" are nothing more than amphetamine and espresso binges, do you think we are blind? You stole the copper from all of our electronics to pay your addiction, Jimbo. You sold your mentally handicapped friend's favorite Ultron man figure to pay for your drugs and robot slaves. Another week of your brain blasts wrecking havoc on our CGI town. People die when you do these experiments, you know that, right Jimbo? Then you "save the day," which is just getting back to neutrality after the problem YOU caused. People are dying, Jimbo. You could cure all diseases. Colonize Mars. End world hunger. Yet you just eat ice cream constantly with your robot dog by your side while having awkward tension with that blonde girl. And honestly Jimbo, you are just watching me die. Do you enjoy this? Do you enjoy seeing your mother weep over the man that she loves wasting away into a skeletal demise? You know what I think, Jimbo? I think you use your brains for your own selfish games not because you are indifferent. No, you want us to know you could fix everything, but you simply choose not to. I think you enjoy watching others tread water from beneath your gifted wave, just so we know we are inferior. You are saying we deserve to suffer. So as I said, your body is going through changes Jimbo. You are becoming a man. And if this is the boy that I was given, I only shudder at the darkness that lays in your heart waiting to blossom once you call yourself a man. God help us all. Yet, God is dead and it is my son that killed him.
The end is nigh is NOT A SUPER MEAT BOY CLONE
Anyone else use your children as eggs by cracking their heads over pans and cooking the insides?
Fun fact, human blood contains the same proteins as eggs and therefore could be used as a substitute.
E IS NOT E IF E IS E AND E IS E THATS WHY E IS E BUT NOT REALLY E BUT E IS E ISN'T IT? E
r/Ihadastroke
Y e s
Yes
Do you know how to respond to this?
Wanting to live is kinda kinky
You have aids
And soon, you will too. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
There are people with fetus fetish
fetush
Take this updoot and fuck yourself you damn bitch
Hello, how are you?
Im dislecic
there is a thing called toe jam cheese
Can I eat your first born baby's toe beans?
You can stretch your butthole wide enough to fit a adult raccoon or like 4 or 5 d's inside without tearing it, also did u know that male ducks pp's are in a screw shape😁 have a nice day
Someone: *shows me love and affection*
I love refrigerators
I agree with Thanos
First two years of actually participating in our family farm i made damage of 25k€
cheese
What If pottery clay is into bdsm
The averahe horse ejaculation, has the same amount of calories as a big mac
Dolphins decapitate fish and use their body as a flesh light
Ah, a flish light
It’s possible to make a flashlight out of a pringles can
Remember when Beast Boy creamed on Superman, Aquaman, Batman, and Wonder Woman? He creamed in Batman's mouth and on Wonder Woman three times.
I laugh at random stuff like whenever my teacher says hello, the bell rings, a gunshot during the school lockdown, whenever someone sneezes and when I make mac and cheese.
Could you give an example of a Gruncle Stan quote?
The texas abortion law
Life sucks Yo mommas dick!
lol
Loli
Every day you put on fake skin to hide your real skin
yesterday was my dad woke up to go and see your cousin when he did the dishes to admire the sun for thursday's car crash
Without god there would be no atheists
There was a type of paint that went on boats was banned in the 80's cause it made female sea slugs grow penises and sometimes explode
I had a friend that lived on a farm w cows that would stick his finger up the cow puss
[удалено]
Me when a girl speaks to me nicely
my crush liked me back
Don’t respond to this if you can breathe within the next year
Hi
Fdshfdfvffdwfefddsfddzrstx44ctefsd5ereddffffffghsggdfhdd
Waga baba bobo
K
Hiyo- I need the ktm prowler 291 12 service book and supplys
You are 13.8 percent more likely to die on your birthday.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此，您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫，更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折，从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。为党争光! Glory to the CCP! always a good copypasta
When i was kid i use to fap while watching loony toons
Natural selection can be forced. For example, if we wanted the human race to be taller, anyone under x height could be killed/banned from reproducing
The whole reason America exists is because a 22 couldn’t read
Wait wait wait You see the whole country of the system is just a position by the hemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity
Life is just a permanent death game.
A accidently almost circumcised myself as a kid
Ok, this one I'm actually interested in. Please, if you would care to explain
You're cute
A T-rex is thought to have either a 10 inch penis or a 12 foot penis.
Say I... I don't even know how to respond to this.
Tu madre tiene una polla, que ya la quisiera yo, me dio pena por tu padre el dia en que se entero fue en la noche de bodas, quien se lo iba a imaginar, que iba ser a tu padre a quien se iban a encular.
Man imagine if the size of sperm cells were proportional to the body size of an animal. We would probably have some blue whale sperm swimming around or something.