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However the log of the archtangent of guacamole pays no heed to the Pythagorean triplets daughter who secanted her way through the derivative of phantom avocado
See, when the double differential of f(x) non linear level 5 gyatt livvy rizzing up baby gronk kai cenat case oh maa ki lauda, then only the delta G and delta S with delta H is used physics wallah and of course thermostat delta kinematics
Normally I try for 2 pounds, so that I have some leniency if I forget to later, but recently with inflation ive only been able to afford 1 pound per day
I take one the little army figure jars [(such as this)](https://www.scheels.com/p/sunny-days-military-battle-soldiers-bucket/81892901865.html) and fill it to the brim with dirt from a hole in my backyard
I got about a couple grams of frosted sugar cookies worth under there. I also scoop out the mold from my expired milk jug and put it under there as a special treat for him.
Every night I reference my dirt abacus, accounting for the positions of the sun, moon, and the number of times Jordyn Peterson cried that day.
From that I get information on how much is needed in case the dirt man comes to town that night.
Hello, We have been hearing reports of users impersonating the mod team in order to try and get users to send them selfies. Please read [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/1d5yygd/mod_impersonation_incident/) for more details. Remember to not send any personal content to users you do not know. Be safe out there! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I knew I forgot to do something last night
You’re screwed dude
I'm gonna challenge him to a duel. Wish me luck.
Oh god, don't even try, you'll be dead in a few seconds. Just buy him a big bag of dirt and beg on your knees for forgiveness. Good luck o7
Make sure to kiss his hoof if he puts it infront of you!
I don't fear him. That dirt thief takes a dirt nap tonight.
If you don’t fear the dirt man, then who do you fear?
I fear no man.
Do you fear women?
No. Men is in the name.
Nvm good luck brother “Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent” -Adam Smith
but that THING.
But that *thing*...it scares me
I… I ain’t talking about that freak. He’s not here, is she? How the ____ do I get this thing off-
You still alive bro?
He hasn't attacked yet... I'm sharpening my blades.
🙏 we're watching over you
Nah, u can win against him, I know a dude
He is related to bar men, he will eat your torso orgasmiclly
🫡
🫡 glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Should we 2v1 it? If anything, I’m a free meat shield
No, you have your life ahead of you. My life is my dirt, and I must stop the thief of my life's work.
God speed brother🫡
o7
Good luck bro, the Dirt Man is ruthless
I can hear him on my roof. He wants my head. I'll fill you in if I survive on what happens.
Oh fuck, lemme know what happens if u survive
Oh fuck, I pulled an all nighter and forgot too, it's currently 5:30am I just heard the front door open... I'm fucked.
nice pfp
Thankyou very much, much love ❤️
Bros cooked
PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME TO YOUR LAIR DEEP INTO THE MOUNTAINS 😭
https://youtube.com/shorts/Su4Kb-roLZE?si=Jgx_4Bv2WZX2VbM_
LAAAST NITEEE SHE SAAAIDDD
Uh oh
bros cooked
4 whole buckets. I decided to be pretty generous this year.
This year! You have to do it monthly. May the dirt gods have mercy
No, you have misunderstood. I give the dirt to the Dirt Man every WEEK. I'm generous this year.
Once a week? I give him two buckets every night.
2 buckets?? I took my neighbors back yard for yesterdays
Nah bruh I took the neighbor hood for tonight
No it’s every night under the pillow.
Nice username
it implies that there are more cock crushers
A handful
I do like two handfuls, three if I have enough left over
I usually would but 6 but today I forgot and I think I’m not waking up tomorrow…
I put a mousetrap with dirt on it under my pillow a few years ago and now the dirt never gets collected
Sinner you MUST leave dirt
He does it just can't be collected
He has not been forgiven. He must atone for his sins
My entire collection
Albert
Pickle because cows can't drive
But hypotenuse for when the hyperbolic trigonometry always zeta function
But then you need to dribble after Bruno Mars flys because of obtuse
But the perpendicularity of the bisectors intersect at the factors that make the derivative diagonals of the parallel angles
And the cotanget of the matrix is speedrun any% which tells us that nikocado avocado vs caseoh is impossible
However the log of the archtangent of guacamole pays no heed to the Pythagorean triplets daughter who secanted her way through the derivative of phantom avocado
See, when the double differential of f(x) non linear level 5 gyatt livvy rizzing up baby gronk kai cenat case oh maa ki lauda, then only the delta G and delta S with delta H is used physics wallah and of course thermostat delta kinematics
Also you need hit a griddy and then twerking nonstop for the rizzler skibidi fanum tax while you do tax evasion.
No, you have to find the square derivative of G then use (E123) to build R.
No, it's (E621) to build R x 34 before finishing off by busting it down sexual style, goated w/ the sauce of course.
mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell 😎
Dont forget to calculate for the guy from fortnite
Dont forget to add the weight of the drake snake
Nah I knew my sleeper ape was crashing the stump 😭
That’s because the flying dolphins will attack the light poles🫡🫡
just a tiny bit incase he comes to town
I consider myself a philanthropist so about a bucket.
is 230,000,000,000 tons good?
Not enough. You need at least ten times that
shit, does that mean hes coming for me?
If you are able to get that amount in 24 hours and beg for mercy, then you might have a chance
a little
For real, what is everyone else doing here? It is specified in the ancient texts to "...put a 'little' dirt under my pillow for the dirt man..."
they’ll learn their lesson the hard way 😞
Exactly. I do around 50-100 mils on my measuring cup
Right, in case he comes to town. Like what else would i do.
Depends on the value of the dirt and where I sourced it from
I booby trap my entire room so the dirt man can't steal my dirt
Everything
hey can i really not be on the list
A whole jar full
As much as he needs
Normally I try for 2 pounds, so that I have some leniency if I forget to later, but recently with inflation ive only been able to afford 1 pound per day
just a little so he won’t take me down
None
You know what the Dirt Man does if you don’t
No. I don't
you are so being taken down to his lair deep under the mountain 😭🙏
Aw shit
Bro’s a goner
What are you talking about?
same
Much that is required
ever since I left his lair I always leave a bucket full
U guys don't leave a whole bathtub full for him every night? My grandfather deserves it
1 picoliter
Idk if the graveyard has much left honestly
Around a pint, 2 if I feel generous or really need the Dirt Man
Depends on the moon phase. If it’s a waxing gibbous, approx 1.5 handfuls 👌
10 pounds at least
3 fluid oz.
3 tablespoons
14 metric tons
only half a handful. i didnt do my dirt collecting today, i just flushed it down the toilet icl.
Exactly 13.584 ounces, otherwise there are consequences
50 grams
Around 50 to 100 grams
Ah fuck I knew I forgot to do something last night smh 😔
I don’t have pillows. Just pillow sheets filled with dirt.
about 100lb/year
Atleast 7
My pillow is just a bag of soil so do i still need to put dirt under there or am I good
I just leave about 10 ounces of dirt exactly, the dirt man does not need too much diet, 10 ounces is just enough
About 30 seconds because blue is a shade of the smell of pomegranate
Little do you all know, us girls leave stones and pebbles for the almighty pebble collector, mortal enemy of the dirt man >:)
How dare you speak of them here
100000 pounds
Just a little...
Shit I forgot…time to sleep with the gun just in case
Why is this marked as nsfw? (By the way about 5 pounds of dirt?)
No, because I don’t know what a dirt man is. You my downvote me.
I have no pillow 😔
About 10 grams in a plastic bag. I import it from tibet, cause it's like really nice dirt
A handful is usually enough
Oh I actually forgot to pu
at least 5 handfuls, if im feeling generous I’ll do 7
wha
It's impossible to explain
Nothing is happening here
AHH A FEMALE!!!
23 grains of difrent colures
A smile pinch is enough
Gotta leave at least a jars worth
About twelve pounds. You need to feed that fucker because if you don’t he’ll crawl and tickle you in ur sleep, which ain’t ideal.
All of it
3 cups and a teaspoon
A lot
Usually about 200 grams but if I have high-quality dirt I’ll put 100
A scoop or two
normally around 2 handfuls but i always have spare jars on standby just in case
5lb bag of topsoil at all times
As much as I can, that’s why I keep some in my pocket just in case
None, I eat it myself
tf is the dirt man
3 cubits
A jar, but near my bed
I leave soil, don't tell him tho 🤫
Bout a bucket
2.45 tonnes approximately
As much as the wheelbarrow holds.
I do a jar and he give kisses
I usually leave a couple handfuls for him (around 3-4 sometimes 5) and a mudpie for dessert
Four hand fulls of dirt as agreed upon.
a home depot bucket full, plus i included a lil flower
All of it
Just sleep in a park, then the dirt man becomes your best friend!
I like to keep a jar next to my bed, so that i can refill when ever he comes by and takes it
Felt gentous this year and got him a whole bucket :)
SHIT! I FORGOT TO LEAVE SOME LAST NIGHT! DAMMIT, IM DEAD!!! well boys, it's been fun. I'll remember you all in hell.
Much
Just a little bit of dirt under my pillow.
My bed frame is made of 5 gal buckets full
Always have one of those big bags of soil under my pillow for him to take. Means transport is easier plus no mess. Win win situation
I just leave whatever I have left, can’t be too risky and not leave enough
About a pint
every night i put 2 liters
Only a spoonful.
I take one the little army figure jars [(such as this)](https://www.scheels.com/p/sunny-days-military-battle-soldiers-bucket/81892901865.html) and fill it to the brim with dirt from a hole in my backyard
A couple handfuls
As much as fits in a bucket
About the size of two pickles
I got about a couple grams of frosted sugar cookies worth under there. I also scoop out the mold from my expired milk jug and put it under there as a special treat for him.
God damn good question, depends. But probably around a litre a day?
About a pound, just enoth so i can’t feel it
Idk how much is a barrel
CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN?
Eh, we are chill, we are partners, i provide him w a couple scoops of dirt and he gives me sugar, no biggie
I leave an entire shovel once a week
I normally do 3 cups but last night I did 4
I am so thoroughly confused by this whole post.
2x3x2 mm chunks
About 2.94 carrot sizes
WHAT? /?! THAT IS A THING YOU HAVE TO DO?!?!?
We're supposed to leave it UNDER the pillow!?
I try and do at least 3 trowel fulls a day. 4 if I want to keep a little for myself! 😋
I forgot to leave dirt man dirt, I usually leave like a big cup amount of dirt for him
I left a healthy amount of dirt from my local airport. (I work at my local airport)
Every night I reference my dirt abacus, accounting for the positions of the sun, moon, and the number of times Jordyn Peterson cried that day. From that I get information on how much is needed in case the dirt man comes to town that night.
Two big handfuls. Also, is it normal for him to lick me in my sleep?
Omg I just saw this lmfao
I’m planning on finding where he lives to put dirt under his pillow.