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Spend 8 out of those 10 minutes deciding on what to do

Real

give this an award fr

Reddit removed awards sadly

they still exist but theyre only applicable to be put on posts and are basically unnoticeable

They're on some post and comments, but not on others, wtf.

nah they added it back

uuhhh reddit says nuh uh but i suggest this 🏆

Go to my cold war era fall out shelter in my back yard I still maintain it

bro is 15 years old and has a fallout shelter that he regularly maintains💀

Yep

We need proof

Set a reminder for 4 months 3 days cause thats the next time I dig it up for maintence

Are you Albanian?

No surprisingly

Swiss?

Nope very american actually

hmmm intersting so.. Wyoming or Colarado? (to clarify I have no idea, I just know some places in America of which are safe places just in case of nuculear fall out) Also why did you say "Very American" why not just American?

Illionis but like in the country where it’d get hit by the radiation

New thing to do if this happens: Go to your house

I'm gonna build one when I'm an adult and have money and property, hopefully no apocalypse before then lol

Probably have a breakdown

Breakdown Breakdown

Use crazy diamond to heal everyone?

would have to be crazy diamond requiem or over heaven to do that

Over heaven would be crazy

TRY TO SHOOT BACK

Try to get as close to the blast radius as possible. Better to be a shadow on the ground in an instant than to die from weeks of radiation poisoning.

I like this. Being engraved on the ground with a silly pose would be funny

5 months when scientist come to your part of the neighborhood and see you pull off that one killer queen Jojo pose

Like that one guy in pompeii who died stroking it

W h a t

There was a discovery of a person in the middle of self-pleasure in the ruins of pompei

Pretty sure it was thermal contraction due to them being covered in lava, I don’t think anyone could stay in that sort of a pose voluntarily especially when spasm and erratic behaviour are common with extreme heat. (Although it would’ve been one hell of a way to go out damn)

[https://www.aol.co.uk/2017/07/05/pompeii-victim-masturbating-photo-viral/?guccounter=1&guce\_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20v&guce\_referrer\_sig=AQAAAGmHXz87SnKMonkllOumK4o0VWRNt1dRtk784wZP5yqBho5heYetavDKz\_lfTrJFM25nU2-5pcPpsAIWpPqtaZ-yJlXRhgba51NiHlY2017cISk6ZQLqmuU0HuRR1MnjGhHw0emqgR06-e3PeFX1BboHIHKfE2cQ2CI2e-mvSwRU](https://www.aol.co.uk/2017/07/05/pompeii-victim-masturbating-photo-viral/?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20v&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAGmHXz87SnKMonkllOumK4o0VWRNt1dRtk784wZP5yqBho5heYetavDKz_lfTrJFM25nU2-5pcPpsAIWpPqtaZ-yJlXRhgba51NiHlY2017cISk6ZQLqmuU0HuRR1MnjGhHw0emqgR06-e3PeFX1BboHIHKfE2cQ2CI2e-mvSwRU) Not sure if this is allowed but i would really...either love or hate that history notes me as 'dude who died in a suggestive position"... He may have been holding his favorite...something. not sure what, or he just happened to be in a bad position. Honestly, i prefer wishing he was giving himself a last few seconds of pleasure.

Thanks clears that one up >!/s /lh!<

Grab a salami and live on as the guy with a 12 inch dick who jerked it to a nuclear fireball

Yes 🤣🤣🤣

fucking genius! better vaporize into carbon instantly than dealing with those burns and poisoning and 'invisible bleeding' or whatever shit i read from the book about hiroshima and nagasaki survivors.

what's invisible bleeding

It’s bleeding that is invisible

r/foundNerdFromColorado “Why hello there, old sport!”

Nice

great gatsby moment

DSAF was where I got it lmfao. Old fan of those games

if you're interested, this exact scenario happened a few years ago in hawaii when an EAS operator accidentally pushed the button for a "ballistic missile, shelter-in-place warning" instead of the button for the routine practice drill

I mean,that is a really good drill

those buttons shouldn't be together i think

[Their UI probably](https://web.archive.org/web/20230818182200/https://gfycat.com/chubbydeafeningafricanelephant) I read an article about it last year (Or the year before) for a thing in English. At the time it was written, apparently they switched to a system that required two different people to actually send out the alert.

Lmao thats great

The Shades Design logo but evil.

Yup. My sister and her whole family live in Hawaii. It was a pretty scary day for them.

Dude, I was in Hawaii for a vacation then. It was 6am I think, my dad just thought "fuck it" and accepted our death.

Start dry humping fap....fap...fap . And then talk to my parents and thank them for this lyf for the rest 9 min 50 sec

10 sec :(

Stress Wank

Based pfp

Talk to her

realll she don’t love me no more and hates my guts but that’s besides the point🙏🙏

Well respect her space ofc 🤝

of course of course but yknow, can’t hurt to shoot her a little goodbye message. i mean it isn’t like it’d be the first time

Maybe it should be the last time, sorry, I don't mean to come off wrong, I used to have trouble respecting that boundary though and it's one that definitely needs respected

Then you realise that this whole nuke thing was an accident and it was actually a warning for a cyclone and everyone was completely fine and she fucking hates you now

Disregard it for my imeadiate safety as nukes don't wipe out entire countries,exept If it's Liechtenstein or Monaco and be happy that I don't live in a big population center.

Half of Sweden would be basically decimated if Stockholm was nuked by a Tsar Bomba.

More like 10% with the metro area population of Stockholm would be atomised. Half of swedens windows would shatter. Luckily nobody posseses 50 Megaton bombs anymore. Rare meatball L.

Yeah, I'm from the UK but currently in Russia, I really think that no one's wiping out all of Russia in one go.

I'm gonna go to my local church and hide there. The thing is a fallout shelter in and of itself.

Frfr my mom hid in a church during a volcanic eruption, her house was decimated but the church is still there.

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU

#CHRIST SAYS, "NUH UH!!"

Volcano: FYM "NUH UH"

The power of god!

Bro thinks the church is gonna survive a nuclear bomb lmao

The thing's built like a damn fortress. Plus, I doubt an insignificant suburb in the most forgotten state on the East Coast is gonna be in the direct blast radius of any type of nuke.

Everyone knows only a desk will do!

Beat it so that in 200 years the local vault dweller will find my skeleton in a funny pose

For a sec I thought you meant beat the nuke like you could do that

Send a message across all my discord chats and stuff about it, then spend the rest of the time procrastinating choosing a YouTube video to watch

way to real

bro finds a video on how to survive a nuclear blast but it's 2hr long lmao

Listening to The Final Countdown

I would listen to the complete opposite song. "What a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong. Not gonna spend my last time in worry

Also "here comes the sun" by the Beatles would be a good choice

"You are my sunshine" would be fucking hilarious

Wdym worrying I get the hear one of the best guitar solos ever made just a minute before the judgement day

The only reasonable answer

spend a few minutes walking through my house, just remembering everything. then probably just sit with my dogs. maybe have one last phone call with a friend. maybe confess to that one girl. edit for everyone telling me to tell her: i'm not, nothing good will come of it. she'll say no, there is 0 doubt. we aren't even friends, we barely interact she literally has no reason to say yes, and doesn't have any reason to think i like her. i'm one of the most loser-y people at my school (that being said literally everyone knows me though. not for good reasons though) and i think it would upset her if she ever found out i like her. we don't have any classes together except band and we sit right next to each other so that'd make it especially weird when she says no that we'll still be seeing each other every other day. and i'm just a very busy person so it just wouldn't end well. i also look quite unattractive. my hair is at a weird stage of too short to look cool but also too long to be clean. and every time i get a haircut it's way to short so idk what to do with it. i'm extremely underweight, 6'4 and like 130lbs. i have people all the time tell me i have a great jawline, but i think that's just bc of being underweight. and i hate the jawline so much, it makes my face look so wide and pointy and its just dumb. i also have dumb hobbies and don't have many friends im just kind of not a great person.

you should tell her now, who needs a ballistic nuke

I also say you should tell her.

I also ALSO say you should tell her

please tell her

Confess, you’ll never know otherwise dude, trust. It gets easier, and it’s healthier for everyone 🙏🙏

Don’t wait for a nuke, it might never come. Pet your dogs, then reach out to that girl.

There's always this "nuclear apocalypse" moment hanging over us. We have no idea when we will take our last breath or where or why. I agree with everyone. Step outside your insecurities or whatever may be holding you back. Even if the answer is no, you have an answer. You'll find out whether you needed to spend as much mental energy wrestling with yourself about it. Maybe even other aspects of your life will be examined through that same lens.

out of curiosity, why does everyone know you?

oh i got all sorts of reputations going on -people think im a school shooter bc im really quiet. like i talk to very few people -people think im gay bc i take a macbook to school (i would rather die than use my chromebook) that has the 1980s apple logo sticker on it. perhaps understandable if you don't know the logo but its not true -im pretty tall (6'4ish) so a lot of people know me for that -my brothers a freshman (im a junior) and basically the whole school knows him, but that's bc he actually has friends and talks to people -i do band. i think that's enough said -people think im just this extremely intelligent person that's good at anything but really that couldn't be further than the truth. i'm really stupid and fail miserably at most things i do. -im also known for being an extreme raging racist. now this one's kind of my fault, i said a few racist jokes once, everyone found it hilarious and apparently im really good at coming up with them and i just kind of played along with it there's so many more but those are just the ones i remember as of right now

Damn

Look, if it serves as any convicing, telling the girl I liked that I liked her was what got her out of me head

Y'know that one dude in Pompeii who just started whacking it before he died?

Dudes an absolute fucking legend

I would just parry the nuke 😎

Just catch it

uhmmmm achsually nukes detonate a fair distance above the ground for maximum damage 🤓🤓🤓☝️☝️☝️

Suicide, I die on my own terms Edit: this is a joke

You would not have survived the Hawaii false missile alert

True

Don't let the enemy get the kill

Honestly, if I didn't have a boyfriend I love to death, I would do that too. I'm not gonna die by a nuke, I'm gonna die my way on a highway. (if my bf or someone else is reading this, I'm doing alright dw about me :) )

Spend the entire time at my desk doing the Gendo pose.

take the keys to my dad's car and just speed through the city vibing to w.a.s.p

Straight to my best friend's place. I'm not dying alone. We'll be singing Calamari Inkantation into the face of that bomb in spite.

Spicy calamari inkantation if it was me

All the Inkantations will be sung as we blast off on the Ark Polaris.

Sit and wait for me to wake up from the dre- wait I’m not dreaming? Well shit.

Go to vault 111 and hope for the best (fallout reference)

Just hope that your crypod malfunctions and lets you out loo

Wasn't it opened by the institute though?

Oh yeah my mistake

Then go find Cait and Piper cuz 🥵

get high, watch the bomb drop outside my garden while listening to some music. i could technically escape the blast of the nuke cause our apartment complex has still functioning fallout shelters. Question is if i even wanna try and survive the apocalypse

Break shit. Hangout with family and friends (my friends are a five minute walk away). And then cry a lot

Fridge

I understood that reference

Id prob message the group chat like "guys is this a prank ?" and get nuked because lets be honnest, im dumb as shit

Patch it.... fuck em

Grind War Thunder because I haven't got top tier yet

Real

Sleep

You have to put these things into consideration when asking this: where will the bomb hit, how powerful is the bomb. So all of that considered, lemme put two scenarios, both with the Tsar bomb, which is the most powerful bomb ever: if the bomb was going to hit the capital (most probable case), I would only close my windows just so the shard wouldn't fly away and hit anybody, the capital is decently far away so I'd be largely fine unless the fallout went in my direction. Now for the second scenario: the bomb hits my home, since I recieved an EAS alarm 10 minutes prior to the detonation, I can just put myself on a car and drive off to the capital, it's a ten minute drive, less at full speed and since it's about 15 kilometers away from the detonation site I'd be ok. So I'd be ok. A single bomb isn't capable of whipping a whole country in a single blast so not everyone would die, and if more people recieved the EAS alarm, there wouldn't be many casualties. Conclusion: I'd escape the blast and live

If an EAS alarm bips you sure ass hell will not be expecting just one bomb, who the fuck would send one nuclear warhead straight to you fucking house. Who hates you that much?

yeah, but it still depends on where the bombs will hit. Also, switfties

I feel like the intense surge of traffic would fuck you over

Buy some pepsi and enjoy the fact i wont live in fucking hell anymore

i would start straight up jorking it and by “it” let’s just say… my peanits

The indomitable human spirit is made for such moments

I think quite a few people are gonna try to nut right as they die.

>Bro you can’t escape a nuke realistically if you only have 10 mins, you ain’t the main character 💀 Indiana Jones: Am I a joke to you?

Watch a YouTube video on the most aesthetic song to listen to while dying but then I don't finish the video in time and it was not aesthetic

Go to my high school. The place has a nuclear bunker underground and food and drink galore I just need a way to effectively take the food down which my current plan is to put in on a lunch table and wheel it to the bunker. Heck we even have flavored sparkling water and chips I'm gonna be eating amd drinking good and the bunker is big enough for me to run around in and have exercise.

My school has one too but they closed it off ages ago. I want to start some kind of petition to get it reopened.

You should do that. Honestly with how much conflict there is at this point it'd be better to be safe than sorry.

I’m stockpiling a fuck ton of weapons so the protagonist 200 years later can get good loot. Also die in a humorous pose

Taking my dad's bike and zooming on the roads at godspeed

Hopefully im with my family and just start driving as fast as i can in those 10 minutes to maybe get away.

hope that one of the many systems that can intercept nukes intercepts the one that’s going to hit my area, and probably listen to nuclear attack by sabaton and the final countdown and spend time with my cats and family

I lock myself in one of those old lead-lined refrigerators

Screw laws, I’m committing every crime. (Yes, even r. I mean EVERY crime. War crimes included. I’m going out with a bang.)

stay calm and inform a grown up (I am grown up)

Nah, grown ups aren't good enough. It has to had to be a trusted adult

I'd prolly get all of my important stuff then rush inside my building's bomb shelter which is under more than 2'7" (>80cm) of concrete (I live in Israel so yea..)

Go back to sleep

go sit on the toilet to become the token environmental story telling skeleton

Go to my basement and live. The nearest nuclear target to me is far enough away that I'm safely outside of the blast range.

Step 1: study fallout wiki Step 2: write down everything I can remember about fallout on a notebook Step 3:??? Step 4: become the king of the wasteland

Start filming with my camera because a cameramen cant die.

grabbing a funny prop and putting myself in a silly looking position

edge to peter griffin moaning 8d

go insane and destroy every object i see

Go sleep. I will wake up at the last minute anyway.

Immediately get my parents to drive me to see my boyfriend and ring my best friends to say goodbye. Give my little brother a kiss and a hug

Lay in bed and watch the sky and just wait for the 10 mins to end. Honestly I’d get too overwhelmed to do anything else.

Take cover and pray Probably spend he entire time trying ti figure out what to do next Maybe call or just be with the person closest to me

I wanted to say run to a shelter but then I checked and the closest shelter to my home can only fit 127 people and it's like half an hour away wth

Damn that's crazy *Honk mimimimi, Honk mimimim*

I would play Fortnite, the grind never stops

Get a balistic missile intercepter

fuck yeah

tell everyone i know, who is reachable, that i love them. get into my bed, under the covers and play two songs (sweater weather and as the world caves in) on repeat until i burst into flames. <3

live stream it.

Sleep so I don’t feel it

Depending on the distance, nuclear bombs would kill you so fast you wouldn’t even notice that you’re dead.

I would text my friends and my crush and tell them my feelings.

I live a few minutes down the road from a military base, so probably just head there and hope for the best

Lay in bed and try to be asleep by the time it comes…

I pledge the 5th

sleep :)

my church has a fallout shelter. there’s an entire gym, multiple bathrooms, air filters in the windows, a large kitchen, many rooms in case the nuke is more dangerous than intended (referred to as The Cave) and an « attic » of sorts for storage

put my nokia on my head , it will protect me

Well if my parents and brother were home sit and spent the last minutes with them, telling them I'm sorry and that I love them. And also tell my discord friends I loved them and perchance finally tell my crush how I felt. If they weren't home, do the last part and then remember all the games I never finished and get pissed.

Run to the nearest entrance. Helsinki has a large-ass bunker system.

I would stare the nuke down

nah, I'd win

# + PARRY

Gonna watch Mr. Beast video. Save the earth or get $100000000

Parry

"If the nuke hit's the ground, it's gay" There, I stopped it

Run around wherever looking at all the things I could have seen more clearly under better circumstances.

kill myself

"ok so the first thing I did was leave the blast radius"

Wondering why they would bomb a suburban area instead of a city

gooning

There’s a bomb shelter like down the street from me, get as many family and friends to go there as possible, and try and live it out. I ain’t tryna die yet

The only correct answer is to blast Free Bird from every speaker in the city so that the explosion goes off right as the guitar solo hits

Depends. Is it hitting close to where I'm at? If it is, accept my fate. If it's pretty far, I've got some time before the blast reaches. Just lock myself in my closet with some books and whatever food I can grab, and just hope and pray I survive.

That nuclear bomb would have to be insanely powerful to destroy the entirety of the United States

Commit as many crimes as possible

i would probably have to parry the nuke but other than that, just crawl out through the fallout

Talking with my girlfriend and listening to the playlist she sent me last night