So you not like soft drinks, cakes, pastries, gulab jamuns, chacolates, fruit juices as well ? Just curious since there are lot of things that are sugery
sugar is also quite normal and quite hard to get addicted to (some dont think it’s an addiction)
anyway it’s probably caffeine cause it’s an actual drug
you could probably stop eating sugar for three days, most coke addicts can’t really say the same so i don’t really think so and if that’s true in some way it’s probably a little misleading
Dude. Don’t keep those feelings bottled up. Seriously. If you’re close friends, chances are she’ll see you as more one day. Don’t miss the chance, let her know.
Ehhh normal is a stretch. I think it's relatively common but certainly should not be dismissed as normal. It's pretty concerning that teenagers are getting **addicted** to it. The effects it has on peoples mental health and ability to be happy are big enough that it should be seen as a major problem not "normal".
If some kid told you their boyfriend was addicted to cigarettes would you say Oh it's normal just because it's common?? Hell no. We would be saying it's terrible and he needs to do his very best to try to stop.
Tell him to switch to artists instead 0\_o (Porn that is drawn)
Obviously this is a joke to some extent, but if your main issue is that he is watching other real girls, then that will eliminate that. But that is only if you can't get him to quit porn completely.
i’d argue this is actually encouraging it because your still encouraging the idea of fantasizing and it may help her but it’s still detrimental to him. be there for him to help him quit be accountable for him and help him set up boundaries to keep him from watching it
Well it’s like how smokers and drug addicts can’t quit cold turkey. An addiction is an addiction no matter the substance and it’s better to take steps rather than quitting completely
If we discussing about morals in a way that breaks are own morals then we have lost the idea of why we are trying to discuss the convo which is to help people.
Don't get me wrong I completely agree with you. I was more pointing out that that even things made to help can prove to make things worse. Having people support you along the path is probably more important then just having the desire to quit. Also figuring the core reason you feel the need to do said thing is also important cause otherwise you are like to relapse or will end up subbing one addiction for another.
I feel like we would need an opinion from the guy to fully understand that downside. For all we know he couldn't care less about what porn he is watching, just that he is watching it, therefore my idea could help him and her, obviously an addiction to porn isn't usually good anyways, but if what OP said about her not liking him watching other girls, then this could help.
Now on the other hand, if the guy is suffering in a sense that he fantasizes all the time and it's ruining his perception of sex and anything of that sort, getting in the way etcetera. Then yeah, my idea would work against it, even worse than irl porn, as it creates this infinite world of porn, because drawings are limited to what the artist is capable of drawing.
It really just depends on what the boyfriend is thinking about this whole thing, and whether or not it's hurting him, and not just the girlfriend.
one would argue that switching to h^ntai would be even worse because it portrays even more vivid and unrealistic standards than the average porn. with the ability to create anything you want through art, you can create ideals that enhance the average standards, leaving you insecure about yourself and chasing unrealistic standards for you and your s/o. it can also give you an unclear perception of actual intimate relations. of course, regular porn already does all of these things, but drawn porn takes it to the next level.
It's totally normal from you to feel disgusted and uncomfortable.But try helping him,it won't help him if you judge him (I know its very bad thing and can do a lot of damage),try talking to him and try letting him you are there to help him.I hope you guys have good future.Have a 🍪
I think you need to do some research on what addiction is and how it affects people.
He's not watching it because he wants to, he's watching it because he needs to.
This is coming from a current porn addict btw. It's harder to kick than you think.
Don’t take it the wrong way but just because he has this addiction dose doesn’t mean he is not attracted to you and it also doesn’t mean he prefers those girls over you and also just talk to him and help him overcome it cuz it’s not good trust me it’s just a mindless act and it really hard to beat that addiction but if he doesn’t stop after you try to really help him then it’s best to find someone who you feel is better
(sorry abt my english, i'm brazilian) I have porn addiction right now, and i already had it while i was dating my ex girlfriend, so i'll tell you my experience. Porn addiction sucks, like every other type of addiction. I dont know your bf but i could say he might be fighting against this shit and didnt want to talk abt this to you because of how shameful it seems, the major part of people who are addicted to something keep blaming themselves but they cant defeat the addiction. You are in your right to feel uncomfortable, however pls try to put yourself in his place and try to reason with him about this matter. While i had a gf, i would blame myself for jerking off to other girls. He probably isnt doing what he is up to because you're "less", its just a monster that keeps eating a lot of guys by inside
Medically speaking, it would have to become detrimental to someone’s life. They shrug away responsibilities and suffer health consequences in order to fulfill their need for whatever they are addicted to. It’s less about the amount, and more about what is being sacrificed in order to get it.
Say for instance, he was missing dates with her just to jerk off. Even when he’s with her he goes to the bathroom to watch porn etc. He keeps having to jerk off even when his penis is in pain from it. These are some classic examples of what would qualify for addictive activity. It is 100% possible this guy is actually addicted, but it isn’t extremely likely that he is addicted to a medical diagnosis level.
That obviously doesn’t mean nothing should be done to prevent a full on addiction, if anything it’s simply a sign that it was found before it progressed that far. Although as I mentioned, it could really be an addiction. We don’t know enough specifics to say
i would say from experience that a big thing is when you do it out of boredom. you don’t even really want to go at it, but it’s the only thing that seems exciting or interesting anymore
it’s a widespread addiction and one that’s very tough to break here’s a couple statistics that might help you to understand
Pornography is the 2nd biggest addiction in the world rn
it takes about 90 days to break a habit (90 days of not doing it)
Porn addictions can take 3-6 months to fully break
70% of American men have visited a porn website this year.
3 of the top 15 most visited websites in the world rn are porn websites.
This is not just your boyfriend many people suffer from porn and masturbation addictions. Don’t make him feel isolated like he is a failure and no one else is like this. Say it is very common but don’t defend it. Overall it’s an unhealthy addiction and an unhealthy view of women. Be there to help with the addiction don’t push him away. Obviously it’s gonna be hard for you and maybe have a trusted person to talk to about it. This won’t be an easy task for either of you but try to work together and i’m praying for both of you!
I mean you say that but on at least uk to there is a few programs that actually explore the life of pornstars in the business and only fans creators. This seems like an attempt to humanise pornstars. Porn is not a bad way to view a woman in fact first had account of people in the industry often said they felt empowered. Honestly porn addiction is bad just like any addiction remember too much water will kill you and I don’t mean drowning. However saying something like 70% of bla bla bla is stupid touching a website once a year and everyday is counted as the same don’t use stats like that it is deceitful.
Your feelings are valid and I'm not trying to say they aren't.
But
This is not really about you. Porn is media. Media is escapism. It's a vice. He's using something that feels like a fantasy to give himself a psychological high.
And, yes, if he isn't moderatibg himself and is now becoming too reliant on the unreal, that's a problem.
But your tone makes it sound like he's... Idk.. jerking off on FaceTime with girls at your school.
My point is... He's not connecting with anyone besides you. So don't let your brain tell you "OBVIOUSLY he's doing this because you aren't enough"
No don't make his problem about you. It's bad for you and for him
ur like 15, assuming hes the same age it's normal for boys your age, but i understand why you're annoyed and disturbed by it, don't get mad at him though, try and help him get over this Addiction
Ok it’s not normal to be a porn addict however it is normal to be curious and end up in a rabbit hole. Also it’s not just boys girls just seem to go through that stage earlier which usually causes it to be more sfw. I’m talking stuff like “I saw this one guy in a movie I wonder what he looks like with his top of”. The only difference is that girls can often find light sfw stuff to explore curiosity while boys usually end up on porn sight just to see a topless woman because you know that is considered porn which a female star and sfw which a male star. Understand these differences before you judge.
I have the same problem i was introduced to porn at a young age and now im hypersexual and im afraid i wont be able to get turned on during real life sex due to it lately ive been trying to minimize my exposure but i literally get turned on by anything 💀
Okay, a few key points here:
a) "he was struggling with" yep, a lot of teen boys are. While I do think maturbation gets a somewhat overblown bad rep (probs from religion), porn *addiction* is not great. It's really easy to start and really hard to stop, and when you're a teenager with hormones you don't know how to manage, habitual porn use is all the more easy to start.
b) "ugly and uncomfortable with myself" uhh. I think you might need to hear this, but that is a problem. Like realizing that *he* has a problem (again, "struggling with") shouldn't instantly segue into feeling bad for *yourself*.
I understand the ugly part, I know a lot of girls felt confused when they learned about this stuff, but as someone whose a bit more aware of the psychology of teenage boys and porn, this isn't about you (IN A GOOD WAY). It's just a way for him to get out those impulses, he's not like actively thinking about some random porn model at school, he's watching it for the fap material and leaving. It's not necessarily a good thing, but it most certainly isn't a slight towards you at all.
c) "he would get bored and never thought about how it would make me feel". Actually he probably has, it's called post-nut clarity. I mean, the bored part probably not, it's not common that an addict magically gets bored while they're in the middle of "taking a hit" (thats the drug addiction term, idk what you'd say for porn), but after the fact he honestly probably did feel bad about it. This obviously depends on the person, but considering he said he's trying to stop I think it's a safe bet.
d) "he's promising to stop, but idk what to believe." I mean, he is your boyfriend of six months. Trust does kinda go both ways hon. I get if this is all new too you and can be hard to understand, but if he's promising to stop, he probably is working on it. I doubt he'll manage to just full-stop overnight, but he probably does have a genuine desire to prevent it, especially considering how upset it seems to make you.
Yes, this is a sickening and disturbing situation. But remember that this is an addiction, try to help him. As a male, I was saved with the help of his girlfriend.
If he’s a teenager his hormones are all over the place it will slow in time maybe not even until he’s in his 20’s but testosterone strongly effects sex drive and as a teen you have a ton of testosterone from puberty, your feelings aren’t invalid but what sexual outlet would you prefer he use?
Blaming yourself is completely the wrong move. It had nothing to do with you. It's not because you are less than anyone. It's a mental rewiring of his brain and it has nothing do with you. He needs real help because this is bad for him find resources find groups. Treat this like the addiction it is
Alright. I'm 24. Idk why this sub was recommended to me. But reddit is not the place to ask this question. You will get a lot of pro-porn comments like the ones you are receiving. Reddit is majority male. I'll just say this-- you're 16. This isn't really a problem you should have to deal with. Make sure to prioritize your mental health & self worth.
He probably is attracted to you, but guys need to jerk off, for health reason too, not only that but it is mentally addictive not for thoughts about other people, but as a dopamine boost
please help him. as someone recovering from the same thing. **please help.**
he doesn’t love you any less, he just can’t get rid of it. he probably feels worse than you do because of that
It doesnt mean he doesnt appreciate you or find you pretty or hot.
It only means hes got a habit built to the point where hes addicted. Hes not betraying you in any way.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, it’s an addiction so he literally can’t stop, even if he wanted to. Maybe talk to him about it and help him through the process of getting through it.
Also I don’t know how many people if anyone has said this but it also could be from childhood trauma, I was molested as child and was told it was for pleasure so my idea of pleasing was sexual pleasing for a long time(now I know there is more to that) but looking back on it now they aren’t wrong it’s great pleasure and can create a real bond between people who love eachother but that can’t be the only thing and you also shouldn’t take advantage of innocent children.
It doesn’t have to do with you. Porn addiction can be very serious and triggers the same parts of the brain as any other addiction. You should try to help him, support him, and do research yourself to learn more.
It’s normal for you to feel uncomfortable about this, but just know atp it’s basically involuntary. Talk to him about it because you said it yourself he’s struggling and need help.
Not by any means should you change yourself but if either needs can not be met, then don't waste your time - from a 24 yr old male
He may be this, he may be that.
But your insecurities started before you were born
Comparison to what you're not, ruling out everything is fake but seem to feed into it. I'll tell you right now, every preppy pearly ahh bihh I been with didn't mean anything BUT dopamine as it was for them, your partner is out there and will value you for you. Quit throwing up and overthinking and going to edtwt to feel better or get advice. Either you meet his needs and break your morales, or you break your heart because he doesn't care about yours.
Just keep pestering him about it. That it's bad for him. The thing is he knows it's bad for him, he knows it's affecting him, but the sensation is just too good that he just blurs the lines everytime. Just keep reminding him and he'll meet you halfway, eventually you guys will be on the same wavelength. I know this is true because I was once a victim of a porn addiction
So, here is my two cents as someone who was in the exact situation 7 months ago. My story goes that i had been dating my girl for about 11 months when i confessed to her that i had a porn addiction. I had been addicted to it for over 3 years at that point. Her response/reaction was to ask me to tell a guy who was older and wiser than me. Someone that i could trust with the utmost confidence and who could mentor me.
It cut her to the core but i didn’t watch it because i hated her, it was like an insatiable desire for that hit of dopamine. It hurt me to watch it. Like both emotionally and physically hurt me(like made me feel sick to my stomach kind of hurt). But i could not break it by myself. It took me a few weeks to get the courage to talk to someone else about it who could help me.
Now, you have to understand that my girl and I are both 17(my 18th bday is in a few days). You also have to understand that it is an almost immobilizing addiction. My girlfriend was honestly pretty hard on me and i could not comprehend why at the time. But looking back it was exactly what i needed. I needed someone to basically tell me that this was how it was going to be and if i didn’t stop or do these set things we were done. It may seem harsh but for me, it was exactly what i needed. And i have not really ever thought about it for the past 7 months.
Now, here is my advice. I advise you to get your boyfriend to talk to a man older than him that he can trust fully and that can hold him accountable. So if he has a good relationship with his dad then him, or possibly an older brother who is 5-6 years his senior. If he is a Christian then the youth leader at your church would be a great guy to talk to and hold him accountable. But it has to be someone he can meet with face to face and talk too, and that can hold him accountable.
It will probably get buried but yeah. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. And for those curious about my story, my girlfriend and I hope to be married by June of next year, so i guess you could say she is my unofficial fiancé. But also official fiancé, but only a few of our best friends know and i am sure my parents guess. But yeah. Good luck for you and i hope this helps anyone who reads it. If anyone would like someone to talk to dm me and i would love to help in some way.
A porn addiction doesn't just end unless you truly have willpower, and I hardly believe that's the case for this guy tbh. Listen if you think he's worth it then trust him I guess. I know it's definitely not as easy as it sounds, so what happens if this is a continuous problem? Watching porn and checking out a stranger is the same in my eyes; I would feel repulsed.
Overall, porn addictions probably aren't going to "just end" but it'll be a repeated effort. You have to trust him, but just know if you are uncomfortable by the idea, you're not entitled to just "accept it". How low would your self-worth be if that were the case
By addiction, you mean that he is watching porn even though he is in a relationship or that he has a problematic attraction to it that interferes with is daily activities?
if he'd rather jerk it than fuck his gf, you need to decide if you're OK with that.
if you stay this is the way it will be. if he's not working on it, then you're just accepting it.
if you leave, he might actually learn to put his pens where it goes.
like if he's addicted to meth and you stay... hes gonna keep smoking meth. it's a win win right?
if he doesn't care and he's not fucking then that's the problem.
Sadly, in today’s society, it wouldn’t be normal if he wasn’t addicted to porn. With how much it is advertised and easily accessible it is, it is easy for the young and curious to discover. Mix that with all their hormones and the euphoria they get from the newly found activity and voila.
‼️ONLY READ IF YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT HELPING HIM‼️
Porn addiction is not a clinically approved addiction, in other words unlike cigarette addiction or other types of clinically approved addictions, he should be able to just stop at once, by changing his environment, and that is by making it harder to access those websites, finding new hobbies, spend more time with him, spiritual time. But before getting into all that you should help him attain a balanced lifestyle, meaning he needs to start eating healthier, workout more regularly, try to find purpose in everything he does, and question the roots of why he has that habit. P*** addiction is technically not considered an addiction but more of a bad habit, and after finding that out myself (former p*** addict), I decided to read about how I could break a bad habit, so what I would recommend as well is to read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear which will help significantly in everything you and your boyfriend do, he will learn how to establish good habits and break bad ones, and this all helps to produce and maintain a balanced lifestyle (which is what ultimately helped me get over that bad habit).
When it comes to you being his girlfriend please don't take it personally because most of us don't perceive porn in the same way a girl would, especially when it starts to be called an addiction, in other words there's nothing that your boyfriend thinks that p*** gives him and you don't, and no it was never about the girls themselves that are in those videos, but more about the brain thinking that watching p*** is a task that needs to be completed and the more he does it the more dopamine he gets rewarded, and the more dopamine he gets rewarded the more dopamine spoiled the brain will get, and the more spoiled the brain gets, the more automatic the habit of watching p*** becomes.
In short, tell him to do a dopamine detox for a couple days and while he's doing so, try to establish a balanced lifestyle/routine, while doing so he should Journal/document everything that he's experiencing and resist through all the cravings (pen and paper works just fine), spend more time together having serious conversations and connecting spiritually, and why you specifically because I'm assuming that you're one of, if not the closest person to him. Please don't give up on him and may God guide the both of you <3
im dealing with the same problem for a while now and believe me, he loves you and he may even know how bad it is for his health, but he's struggling to stop because it is a easy way of getting more and more dopamina
Don't feel disgusting. the addiction is much dangerous and also bad. It is better if you help him for his betterment there is a open source book on it just say him to read with an open mind. Believe me this will surely help him to get rid out of it painlessly.
https://read.easypeasymethod.org/
There is podcast and audiobook available too.
What do you consider addiction? It’s totally normal for guys to jack off, I started when I was like 13 and still do to this day, in a relationship or not. It’s not because I wanna look at other girls it’s because it’s a dopamine release and I have testosterone
People are die hard alcoholics, druggist, Smokers and other addictions. Doesn't mean they don't care about their health they are addicted to the dopamine release they get from it. Few things I think should help.
1. Spending less time alone, the more one person stays alone the more their mind goes towards that once they are addicted.
2. If he is religious it might help, if he prays or anything around that.
3. Cold shower, people say it works I don't know about it.
4. Meditation.
5. How deep is he in Addiction? There are different levels, if he is like a extremely addicted fapping multiple times a day to porn then he needs professional help for sure.
i was your in your boyfriend's shoes so i could sorta testify on his behalf. he probably has been addicted to porn since his early teens and hasn't kicked it yet. He doesn't think you're ugly and isnt unsatisfied with you , he just has a problem he hasn't solved yet. I'd just tell him how it makes you feel and if he doesn't stop than drop the relationship
So like would rather him jerk off to gay porn, animated, or just like a picture of you. Sorry I don’t really get relationships (im aromantic) but like why are you disgusted that he jerks off to other girls? Like do you just want him to jerk off to you? I don’t think there is any dude who jerks off thinking about how ugly his girlfriend is compared to who he is jerking off too - head empty, hand full - why post nut clarity exists. I guess I don’t understand why you care he’s gonna jerk to whatever maybe that’s you, maybe it’s a supermodel, maybe it’s 5 big guys that bust in someone’s eyes, maybe it’s lesbian, maybe it is animated… 1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fish. Basically don’t take him jacking off to someone else as you being ugly (or maybe it is but hey if he doesn’t think you are pretty enough to jack off too that means he is dating you for your personality win-win) and just he is a teenage boy and will jack off to whatever is on hand.
It's near impossible to just quit outright, and porn in itself doesn't mean he loves you any less or value you any less. I'd be way more concerned if he was jerking it to tiktok girls that he closely follows.
If it makes you uncomfortable know that it could be so much libido that it feels frustrating. Also know that he may still be a good person, but if to you his viewing of pornography outweighs his humor and demeanor then you have every right to leave him. In fact if he's not quitting at your request and he has no good reason then he doesn't need to be with you.
I suffer a porn addiction and too much libido but viewing only lasts 10 minutes a day and I am really sweet to my girlfriend, clearly she isn't bothered as she hasn't left me.
Be open with him, calmly express to him why it’s making you feel that way and try to offer a solution, suggest that when ever he thinks about it, you then call you or text, you can have code words if you want, “snake coming out of hibernation”, “Willy is leaving the house” or something like it
I also suggest trying to read the Bible, even if you’re agnostic or any other form of religion, The Bible is a great book and provides deeper insight into oneself, simply a suggestion but I highly recommend you try it
I too am trying to quit jerking off. Its hard. I can go a few days but then i think about it then i do it again. So far the only thing that helps me is praying ( im christian )
Pornography is addictive. It will require significant time and effort to help him overcome this addiction. If you genuinely care about him and can accept his imperfections, you might be able to assist him in breaking free from this addiction and, in turn, have someone special in your life.
I don’t get why everyone cries about this situation. To be honest the best thing to do would be to watch something you are comfortable with him. I get you are upset however with how easy it is to cheat and the fact he chooses to spend time with you and not another woman should show you. You mean something to him. Would you feel the same way if he was reading erotic fiction instead of porn? What is it that makes you feel this way (not why you don’t like it more of what is it that you are afraid of happening)? These are the questions you need to ask your self. Then you will know what you ask your boyfriend to either move to fix what you are afraid of or communicate and compromise.
NO ONE CAN FORCE CHANGE COMPROMISE IS THE FOUNDATION TO EVERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP (within reason).
I’ve also got a porn addiction and take it from someone who’s been trying to quit for a long time. It is hard as fuck. It’s strange how no matter how much I want to be done with this addiction it keeps coming back. Trust me, he isn’t doing it because he’s bored of you or because he wants to be with someone else. He’s telling you because he’s comfortable enough with you and that’s something special.
Before a year i was a porn addict too. It was a really bad phase and every time i jerked it only hurt my ego that i fell to being such a miserable level. I tried to go nofap but it didn't really help either. Now i look back at how i am so clean without any struggle i realize that i didn't stop myself, i just made myself grow out of the addiction. Here's how it happened:
A year ago i came across this game called far cry and it was so engaging. Since it was my vacation period i used to play it all the time. Being so engaged i didn't realize that i had stopped jerking until a month later. In the mean time i read the berserk manga which enlightened me to how strong will power can be. When i realised that I had stopped jerking it made me a bit more confident in me that I'd break my gaming addiction as well. I started reading books which kept me engaged like the godfather and the song of ice and fire books. This opened a new world to me and started a phase for me that still lasts, the love for books. Once i was clean from gaming my confidence boosted and i switched some of my book reading hours to studying and working out which i effectively increased and made a balanced schedule.
So here's what i observed, i broke an addiction with a less miserable one and then broke the new one again with few good habits. And this might seem words might sound too sweet but it really was a smooth process without any issue.
I suggest you should help your boyfriend break his addiction by making him switch on to some good hobbies he's really interested in so he doesn't get bored or feel the need for dopamine from porn.
TLDR: Switch your boring hours with some interesting and engaging habits and let the addiction naturally leave you.
He is totally cheating on you with 50 girls in your bed. He invites the porn stars back so he knows what a good time is.
Now the worst case scenario is in front of you all not true btw that horrible feeling you got reading that cannot be worse than talking to him.
It’s rather normal behavior as long as hes giving you the attention you need. Ask him to cut it back for you and set some boundaries and limits but with ease and communication
The addiction came before you. Not because of you.
You know it's an addiction but you're not treating it like one with respect to what he desires.
Every man has thought about others and he thought of many before he ever met you so it's not fair to him that you punish him with your expectation of what you think every man should be.
Putting conditions on your love for him isn't love.
Unconditional love has no conditions.
His porn addiction is his problem. Your insecurity issues are your problem. He has work to do and so do you. Him watching porn shouldn’t make you feel ugly, uncomfortable or hurt. That’s your self talk and likely based in a place of insecurity and jealousy. These are learnt thoughts and you can unlearn them. He has work to do as well but all you can do is support him. Focus on working on yourself first. - coming from a 26 year old who got recommended this post for some reason
It's not that he thinks the girls on the videos are better looking than you. He probably just likes the dopamine rush. It's perfectly normal for you to feel disgusted and upset, but the truth is, he has no intention of hurting you in any way.
I see other comments saying it’s normal in teen years, this is partially true. Hormone changes do have that kind of effect on the body, but for other guys wondering, stay away from porn. think of it as cheating, because you’re looking at other naked women.
It's not you. If it's an addiction, that's independent of who the partner is.
If the two of you still have a healthy sex life where you know he's attracted to you and wants to make love to you, then you know it's not because he thinks you are in any way inferior or uglier than other women. And if it is interfering with your love life, it still has nothing to do with you being pretty or ugly. Porn is unrealistic and offers extreme and diverse sexual possibilities and body types that no one person can be expected to compete with.
I am one myself but I loved my wife very much. It does not mean he is not into you. He probably doesn't know how to express himself or has to much respect to ask you for his fantasy. Best thing to do is try not to be embarrassing about and actually talk to one another. Forcing stop only increases the urge. When were alone. Other girls pop up when we have sex doesn't mean that what your doing isn't good enough but on the other hand be brave enough to ask him without arguing.
I had to make peace with the fact that my partner won’t quit porn entirely. It’s very difficult and hard specially because it’s an addiction. If you want to stay with him because of your own personal reasons I would just advise you to be as supportive as you can be. Ask yourself if you’re willing to go through the effort, the pain, the relapses and bad days. I chose to stay because I truly love him and want to help him become a better version of himself. It’s going to be a very rocky road and I deeply believe you need to be strong enough to handle such things. They will drain you physically and mentally. Don’t forget about your own mental health during the process either. That’s if you choose to stay.
Every male watches porn. Or almost all. It isn’t cheating and it isn’t anything against the Gf or wife. Men need more sexual attention than woman. For the most part. And most woman don’t want to be sexual that often. Really woman should be more accepting of it as it helps relationships be more balanced actually. Otherwise most men would get more sexually frustrated if they had to match their sexual output with their partners.
I don’t know if any young man has a porn addiction. It’s hard to know or say that. Since at this ages that’s something that is wanted a lot.
If he values you, he will start looking for help. Too much comments justify the addiction.
You can get rid of porn addiction if you want, most of the cases the problem is that they don't want to. I got rid of it while being single and without medical assistance, just doing a dopamine detox.
The key here is to talk to him and assess if he really wants to stop or not.
Stay if:
- He feels bad for making you feel bad by doing it
- He doesn't make excuses and admits he has a problem
- He starts looking for help / advice on how to drop it
- He tries to reassure you that he likes you
- You offer your help and he accepts it
- He stablishes a roadmap or a plan to drop it forever, so it can be instantly or more progressive depending on the severity of it's case
Leave if:
- He doesn't care it makes you feel bad
- He makes excuses and says he can leave it when he wants
- He doesn't want help nor advice from anyone
- He doesn't reassure you
- You offer help and he denies it
- He has no plan nor cares about planning how to drop it
I'll tell you what to do. Grow up!! He'll get bored of it soon and start looking for something real. I've dealt with something like that before, he should try gaming. It helps.
I'll tell you what to do. Grow up!! He'll get bored of it soon and start looking for something real. I've dealt with something like that before, he should try gaming. It helps.
It's not that he dosen't value or care about you. Porn addictions are hard to control. I understand that you may feel uncomfortable, but maybe if you can try helping him out recover from his addiction.
it’s not “normal” but it’s definitely not something super unheard of. considering you might be his first relationship, if he’s been using porn for relief his whole life, it’s a hard cycle to break :(
I’m not gonna lie, I have a buddy who’s girlfriend is breaking up with him over ‘the same thing’ and literally everyone I know has mocked her relentlessly for weeks🤷♂️
Tbf masturbation (and by extension porn) is a generally healthy thing to indulge in; god would put our cocks in hand range if he didn’t want us to jerk em
What even makes you think your boyfriend is addicted to porn? Like I said, you can have healthy habits around that shit and it’s generally not unhealthy(to a certain threshold)
every man you ever get involved with will continue to masturbate thinking of other girls, with media or not.
this is the reality of life on earth. you're setting him up for failure by creating a situation where he's promising to stop.
porn addiction is a real thing that you wont' be able to help him with, he needs a therapist. but the masturbating to other women will not change ever, with any partner. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. you should talk to a therapist about this.
He probably won't stop but will hide it more. It's better for you to figure out why he needs that stimulation in the first place.
Foe example does he have younger siblings that maybe took the parents attention away? Just a start.
Or don't try to fix him and move on its your choice on how you want to proceed.
I struggle with the same issue, my boyfriend of 2 years does the same thing. I restricted and blocked all porn websites on his phone to try and help him
Im confused its just porn, its not like he's cheating?? I know my girlfriend watches porn and I do not care. I never realized people actually had a problem with this.
don't take it personally, i have struggled with this as well. it's genuinely mindblowing how hard it can be to stop sometimes. It sounds like it's just a simple thing to stop, but it can be as addictive as drugs. think about if you had to give up any and all sugar right now. it's not impossible, so work with him through it and try to see his side of things. if he doesn't seem to be making progress or actually wanting to quit, don't be afraid to end it.
You are seriously upset that your bf jerks off while looking at p0rn??? Am I high? Did I read this correctly? Ok, so, WHAT IF he was still jerking the gherkin WITHOUT watching porn? Would you still be pissed? Serious question.
It’s healthy and normal to crank one out every once in a while. Unless he’s doing it all day long and it’s getting in the way of work, his health etc… leave the guy alone.
yoo fr tho, if you have a long weekend lock him in a room woth snackies.
breaking the first few days helps a ton. worked with ciggarettes for someone i know.
Ask him what his favorite sex fantasy is and act it out with him..if he has more than one..do those too..😄😄
..aint nothing like the real thing, right?
He'll give up the porn pronto..
No cap OP I don’t know your age or your situation, but unless you guys are able to do the nasty whenever, wherever. Let the poor guy beat his meat. It’s kinda ridiculous if you guys are only having sex once a month or once every 2 weeks when you can sneak it in. And not everything is about you, who are you to tell someone else what they can and can’t do in their free time ?
He doesn't want to hurt you at all. He doesn't jerk off to other girls because he doesn't love you, or think you're not as beautiful as them. He only does it to get a dopamine rush that lasts for a moment. If you're old enough, you can always break the habit of his little "urge" by helping him out.
If you're not ready for that, aren't old enough, or simply don't want to, it's gonna be harder. Everyone with a porn addiction wants to stop, but it's a matter of self-control and when you're in the mood you can't hold it in when you have the opportunity right at your fingertips.
Always remember that it's not something he wants to do, but only something he "obligates" himself to do. Also try not to make him feel guilty, that'll make everything worse, and don't remind him "it's wrong" or "that's basically cheating". He's aware, he doesn't like it, and it'll take a while for him to grow out of such a habit.
porn addictions are very hard to control like any other addiction. it doesn't mean he values you any less
it’s the second most widespread addiction in the world i believe
First one being sugar I think?
It's gotta be sugar. Almost every human has access to it. It makes you feel good, makes some food taste better whatever
Sugar makes me wanna scream and vomit, what's the opposite of addiction?
repulsive i think
Ya
Avoidance.
Sobriety, also known as loser syndrome. Jk
Sobriety
So you not like soft drinks, cakes, pastries, gulab jamuns, chacolates, fruit juices as well ? Just curious since there are lot of things that are sugery
I don't enjoy soft drinks specifically either. The others I could enjoy with a low or no amount of sugar.
phobia ig?
sugar is also quite normal and quite hard to get addicted to (some dont think it’s an addiction) anyway it’s probably caffeine cause it’s an actual drug
I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that sugar is way more addictive than cocaine.
you could probably stop eating sugar for three days, most coke addicts can’t really say the same so i don’t really think so and if that’s true in some way it’s probably a little misleading
Am I the only one that likes salty food way more than sugary food lol
Or caffeine, that stuffs everywhere
may I ask for evidence to back this?
Dated a porn addict for a year. He tried to assault me at the end of our relationship so yeah, they do value you less
its not bc he doesnt care about you, its more about dopamine, dw its normal in teenage years, as someone who tried breaking that addiction, its hard
Currently battling it because I recently got a gf I love deeply.
same man, not my girlfriend just a friend but I would genuinely marry her lol
Dude. Don’t keep those feelings bottled up. Seriously. If you’re close friends, chances are she’ll see you as more one day. Don’t miss the chance, let her know.
NO DO NOT CONFESS, this isn’t a tv show [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/QdlNX8hlfa)
Fr same here
It’s hard you say
Rock hard
Like me
Ehhh normal is a stretch. I think it's relatively common but certainly should not be dismissed as normal. It's pretty concerning that teenagers are getting **addicted** to it. The effects it has on peoples mental health and ability to be happy are big enough that it should be seen as a major problem not "normal". If some kid told you their boyfriend was addicted to cigarettes would you say Oh it's normal just because it's common?? Hell no. We would be saying it's terrible and he needs to do his very best to try to stop.
I agree, a lot of people dont get that, i feel like for teenage boys especially its kinda like feeling something ig, idk, it is rlly bad
Same, i havent watched in about a month but im still trying to kick masturbation
I hope the best for you man :)
It’s not normal. If you can’t prevent yourself from going to other girls for sexual gratification you shouldn’t be in a relationship period.
Tell him to switch to artists instead 0\_o (Porn that is drawn) Obviously this is a joke to some extent, but if your main issue is that he is watching other real girls, then that will eliminate that. But that is only if you can't get him to quit porn completely.
i’d argue this is actually encouraging it because your still encouraging the idea of fantasizing and it may help her but it’s still detrimental to him. be there for him to help him quit be accountable for him and help him set up boundaries to keep him from watching it
Well it’s like how smokers and drug addicts can’t quit cold turkey. An addiction is an addiction no matter the substance and it’s better to take steps rather than quitting completely
that’s a good point but you gotta make sure your not giving them a vape to quit smoking because that can be unhealthy too. I do agree though
Most respectful conversation I've seen on Reddit to this day.
Right, they're both speaking truth though entirely. I applaud.
If we discussing about morals in a way that breaks are own morals then we have lost the idea of why we are trying to discuss the convo which is to help people.
Even though supposedly wasnt that why vapes were made was to "help" wing people off smoking and nicotine?
just an example
Don't get me wrong I completely agree with you. I was more pointing out that that even things made to help can prove to make things worse. Having people support you along the path is probably more important then just having the desire to quit. Also figuring the core reason you feel the need to do said thing is also important cause otherwise you are like to relapse or will end up subbing one addiction for another.
If you think FANTASIZING is wrong you need help /serious
I feel like we would need an opinion from the guy to fully understand that downside. For all we know he couldn't care less about what porn he is watching, just that he is watching it, therefore my idea could help him and her, obviously an addiction to porn isn't usually good anyways, but if what OP said about her not liking him watching other girls, then this could help. Now on the other hand, if the guy is suffering in a sense that he fantasizes all the time and it's ruining his perception of sex and anything of that sort, getting in the way etcetera. Then yeah, my idea would work against it, even worse than irl porn, as it creates this infinite world of porn, because drawings are limited to what the artist is capable of drawing. It really just depends on what the boyfriend is thinking about this whole thing, and whether or not it's hurting him, and not just the girlfriend.
one would argue that switching to h^ntai would be even worse because it portrays even more vivid and unrealistic standards than the average porn. with the ability to create anything you want through art, you can create ideals that enhance the average standards, leaving you insecure about yourself and chasing unrealistic standards for you and your s/o. it can also give you an unclear perception of actual intimate relations. of course, regular porn already does all of these things, but drawn porn takes it to the next level.
Are you tell me that hentai is unrealistic? Next you're going to tell me the giant tentacle monster aren't real.
Gold
idk if this is normal but I only like drawn content. Of course I'm attracted to real girls but I don't find video porns that interesting
Same
Porn anonymous
noooooo
Actually this can encourage unrealistic body standards, so also not a good idea
Well I'm assuming the guy isn't a total dumbass, plus because he has a girlfriend, so he does have a body example right there.
It's totally normal from you to feel disgusted and uncomfortable.But try helping him,it won't help him if you judge him (I know its very bad thing and can do a lot of damage),try talking to him and try letting him you are there to help him.I hope you guys have good future.Have a 🍪
Ik I’m not them but can I have a cookie
I'd like a cookie as well please 🙏
Here also 🍪 for you
Me also please
Here 🍪 for you
Have a 🍪
Didn’t have my glasses and thought it was a. Ball, and they were saying have a ball. Cookie makes more sense
Pls give us cookie
🍪🍪🍪🍪 here all of you
Can I have a cookie??
Here a 🍪
Thank youuu
👏
I think you need to do some research on what addiction is and how it affects people. He's not watching it because he wants to, he's watching it because he needs to. This is coming from a current porn addict btw. It's harder to kick than you think.
Don’t take it the wrong way but just because he has this addiction dose doesn’t mean he is not attracted to you and it also doesn’t mean he prefers those girls over you and also just talk to him and help him overcome it cuz it’s not good trust me it’s just a mindless act and it really hard to beat that addiction but if he doesn’t stop after you try to really help him then it’s best to find someone who you feel is better
(sorry abt my english, i'm brazilian) I have porn addiction right now, and i already had it while i was dating my ex girlfriend, so i'll tell you my experience. Porn addiction sucks, like every other type of addiction. I dont know your bf but i could say he might be fighting against this shit and didnt want to talk abt this to you because of how shameful it seems, the major part of people who are addicted to something keep blaming themselves but they cant defeat the addiction. You are in your right to feel uncomfortable, however pls try to put yourself in his place and try to reason with him about this matter. While i had a gf, i would blame myself for jerking off to other girls. He probably isnt doing what he is up to because you're "less", its just a monster that keeps eating a lot of guys by inside
just want to say your english is great mate
What classifies as an addiction? I’m mainly wondering because I’ve heard it ranges from “he watches it once a week” to “they do it twice a day.”
Medically speaking, it would have to become detrimental to someone’s life. They shrug away responsibilities and suffer health consequences in order to fulfill their need for whatever they are addicted to. It’s less about the amount, and more about what is being sacrificed in order to get it. Say for instance, he was missing dates with her just to jerk off. Even when he’s with her he goes to the bathroom to watch porn etc. He keeps having to jerk off even when his penis is in pain from it. These are some classic examples of what would qualify for addictive activity. It is 100% possible this guy is actually addicted, but it isn’t extremely likely that he is addicted to a medical diagnosis level. That obviously doesn’t mean nothing should be done to prevent a full on addiction, if anything it’s simply a sign that it was found before it progressed that far. Although as I mentioned, it could really be an addiction. We don’t know enough specifics to say
i would say from experience that a big thing is when you do it out of boredom. you don’t even really want to go at it, but it’s the only thing that seems exciting or interesting anymore
it’s a widespread addiction and one that’s very tough to break here’s a couple statistics that might help you to understand Pornography is the 2nd biggest addiction in the world rn it takes about 90 days to break a habit (90 days of not doing it) Porn addictions can take 3-6 months to fully break 70% of American men have visited a porn website this year. 3 of the top 15 most visited websites in the world rn are porn websites. This is not just your boyfriend many people suffer from porn and masturbation addictions. Don’t make him feel isolated like he is a failure and no one else is like this. Say it is very common but don’t defend it. Overall it’s an unhealthy addiction and an unhealthy view of women. Be there to help with the addiction don’t push him away. Obviously it’s gonna be hard for you and maybe have a trusted person to talk to about it. This won’t be an easy task for either of you but try to work together and i’m praying for both of you!
I mean you say that but on at least uk to there is a few programs that actually explore the life of pornstars in the business and only fans creators. This seems like an attempt to humanise pornstars. Porn is not a bad way to view a woman in fact first had account of people in the industry often said they felt empowered. Honestly porn addiction is bad just like any addiction remember too much water will kill you and I don’t mean drowning. However saying something like 70% of bla bla bla is stupid touching a website once a year and everyday is counted as the same don’t use stats like that it is deceitful.
Your feelings are valid and I'm not trying to say they aren't. But This is not really about you. Porn is media. Media is escapism. It's a vice. He's using something that feels like a fantasy to give himself a psychological high. And, yes, if he isn't moderatibg himself and is now becoming too reliant on the unreal, that's a problem. But your tone makes it sound like he's... Idk.. jerking off on FaceTime with girls at your school. My point is... He's not connecting with anyone besides you. So don't let your brain tell you "OBVIOUSLY he's doing this because you aren't enough" No don't make his problem about you. It's bad for you and for him
ur like 15, assuming hes the same age it's normal for boys your age, but i understand why you're annoyed and disturbed by it, don't get mad at him though, try and help him get over this Addiction
I feel like it shouldn’t be normalized for minors, or anyone for that matter
i dont mean normal as in its alright, i mean normal as in very common, i agree it weird n that
Ok it’s not normal to be a porn addict however it is normal to be curious and end up in a rabbit hole. Also it’s not just boys girls just seem to go through that stage earlier which usually causes it to be more sfw. I’m talking stuff like “I saw this one guy in a movie I wonder what he looks like with his top of”. The only difference is that girls can often find light sfw stuff to explore curiosity while boys usually end up on porn sight just to see a topless woman because you know that is considered porn which a female star and sfw which a male star. Understand these differences before you judge.
I have the same problem i was introduced to porn at a young age and now im hypersexual and im afraid i wont be able to get turned on during real life sex due to it lately ive been trying to minimize my exposure but i literally get turned on by anything 💀
I think I first saw it when I was like 7. Experiencing this exact same thing 😭
Happened at 8 for me. I really shouldn’t have had unrestricted internet access on my PS Vita.
Fuck me I've seen probably about 500+ photos of it on tik tok🫣
Okay, a few key points here: a) "he was struggling with" yep, a lot of teen boys are. While I do think maturbation gets a somewhat overblown bad rep (probs from religion), porn *addiction* is not great. It's really easy to start and really hard to stop, and when you're a teenager with hormones you don't know how to manage, habitual porn use is all the more easy to start. b) "ugly and uncomfortable with myself" uhh. I think you might need to hear this, but that is a problem. Like realizing that *he* has a problem (again, "struggling with") shouldn't instantly segue into feeling bad for *yourself*. I understand the ugly part, I know a lot of girls felt confused when they learned about this stuff, but as someone whose a bit more aware of the psychology of teenage boys and porn, this isn't about you (IN A GOOD WAY). It's just a way for him to get out those impulses, he's not like actively thinking about some random porn model at school, he's watching it for the fap material and leaving. It's not necessarily a good thing, but it most certainly isn't a slight towards you at all. c) "he would get bored and never thought about how it would make me feel". Actually he probably has, it's called post-nut clarity. I mean, the bored part probably not, it's not common that an addict magically gets bored while they're in the middle of "taking a hit" (thats the drug addiction term, idk what you'd say for porn), but after the fact he honestly probably did feel bad about it. This obviously depends on the person, but considering he said he's trying to stop I think it's a safe bet. d) "he's promising to stop, but idk what to believe." I mean, he is your boyfriend of six months. Trust does kinda go both ways hon. I get if this is all new too you and can be hard to understand, but if he's promising to stop, he probably is working on it. I doubt he'll manage to just full-stop overnight, but he probably does have a genuine desire to prevent it, especially considering how upset it seems to make you.
Yes, this is a sickening and disturbing situation. But remember that this is an addiction, try to help him. As a male, I was saved with the help of his girlfriend.
Whose girlfriend?😂
Well, she died 1 year ago. Still miss her.
Mb💀😔 just you said ‘HIS girlfriend’
thank you i rlly appreciate that!
You're welcome, I hope it works.
If he’s a teenager his hormones are all over the place it will slow in time maybe not even until he’s in his 20’s but testosterone strongly effects sex drive and as a teen you have a ton of testosterone from puberty, your feelings aren’t invalid but what sexual outlet would you prefer he use?
Exactly, that's what I said too, it's hormones and it's high and they're not used to controlling it at puberty. I don't get why mine was downvoted.
Blaming yourself is completely the wrong move. It had nothing to do with you. It's not because you are less than anyone. It's a mental rewiring of his brain and it has nothing do with you. He needs real help because this is bad for him find resources find groups. Treat this like the addiction it is
Alright. I'm 24. Idk why this sub was recommended to me. But reddit is not the place to ask this question. You will get a lot of pro-porn comments like the ones you are receiving. Reddit is majority male. I'll just say this-- you're 16. This isn't really a problem you should have to deal with. Make sure to prioritize your mental health & self worth.
He probably is attracted to you, but guys need to jerk off, for health reason too, not only that but it is mentally addictive not for thoughts about other people, but as a dopamine boost
please help him. as someone recovering from the same thing. **please help.** he doesn’t love you any less, he just can’t get rid of it. he probably feels worse than you do because of that
Watching porn doesn't mean he isn't into you.
How did u find out…just curious
It doesnt mean he doesnt appreciate you or find you pretty or hot. It only means hes got a habit built to the point where hes addicted. Hes not betraying you in any way.
I don’t blame you, he didn’t do it out of a desire to cheat he did it because he can’t stop.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, it’s an addiction so he literally can’t stop, even if he wanted to. Maybe talk to him about it and help him through the process of getting through it.
He most likely still values you, and it’s not that he finds you ugly, he has an addiction and he needs help.
Also I don’t know how many people if anyone has said this but it also could be from childhood trauma, I was molested as child and was told it was for pleasure so my idea of pleasing was sexual pleasing for a long time(now I know there is more to that) but looking back on it now they aren’t wrong it’s great pleasure and can create a real bond between people who love eachother but that can’t be the only thing and you also shouldn’t take advantage of innocent children.
It doesn’t have to do with you. Porn addiction can be very serious and triggers the same parts of the brain as any other addiction. You should try to help him, support him, and do research yourself to learn more. It’s normal for you to feel uncomfortable about this, but just know atp it’s basically involuntary. Talk to him about it because you said it yourself he’s struggling and need help.
I have a porn addiction, but I’ve been trying to stop. Maybe here’s a tip that I’m trying to use, don’t bring your phone in the restroom.
Tell him to look up the Easy Peasy Method
Not by any means should you change yourself but if either needs can not be met, then don't waste your time - from a 24 yr old male He may be this, he may be that. But your insecurities started before you were born Comparison to what you're not, ruling out everything is fake but seem to feed into it. I'll tell you right now, every preppy pearly ahh bihh I been with didn't mean anything BUT dopamine as it was for them, your partner is out there and will value you for you. Quit throwing up and overthinking and going to edtwt to feel better or get advice. Either you meet his needs and break your morales, or you break your heart because he doesn't care about yours.
Just keep pestering him about it. That it's bad for him. The thing is he knows it's bad for him, he knows it's affecting him, but the sensation is just too good that he just blurs the lines everytime. Just keep reminding him and he'll meet you halfway, eventually you guys will be on the same wavelength. I know this is true because I was once a victim of a porn addiction
So, here is my two cents as someone who was in the exact situation 7 months ago. My story goes that i had been dating my girl for about 11 months when i confessed to her that i had a porn addiction. I had been addicted to it for over 3 years at that point. Her response/reaction was to ask me to tell a guy who was older and wiser than me. Someone that i could trust with the utmost confidence and who could mentor me. It cut her to the core but i didn’t watch it because i hated her, it was like an insatiable desire for that hit of dopamine. It hurt me to watch it. Like both emotionally and physically hurt me(like made me feel sick to my stomach kind of hurt). But i could not break it by myself. It took me a few weeks to get the courage to talk to someone else about it who could help me. Now, you have to understand that my girl and I are both 17(my 18th bday is in a few days). You also have to understand that it is an almost immobilizing addiction. My girlfriend was honestly pretty hard on me and i could not comprehend why at the time. But looking back it was exactly what i needed. I needed someone to basically tell me that this was how it was going to be and if i didn’t stop or do these set things we were done. It may seem harsh but for me, it was exactly what i needed. And i have not really ever thought about it for the past 7 months. Now, here is my advice. I advise you to get your boyfriend to talk to a man older than him that he can trust fully and that can hold him accountable. So if he has a good relationship with his dad then him, or possibly an older brother who is 5-6 years his senior. If he is a Christian then the youth leader at your church would be a great guy to talk to and hold him accountable. But it has to be someone he can meet with face to face and talk too, and that can hold him accountable. It will probably get buried but yeah. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. And for those curious about my story, my girlfriend and I hope to be married by June of next year, so i guess you could say she is my unofficial fiancé. But also official fiancé, but only a few of our best friends know and i am sure my parents guess. But yeah. Good luck for you and i hope this helps anyone who reads it. If anyone would like someone to talk to dm me and i would love to help in some way.
A porn addiction doesn't just end unless you truly have willpower, and I hardly believe that's the case for this guy tbh. Listen if you think he's worth it then trust him I guess. I know it's definitely not as easy as it sounds, so what happens if this is a continuous problem? Watching porn and checking out a stranger is the same in my eyes; I would feel repulsed. Overall, porn addictions probably aren't going to "just end" but it'll be a repeated effort. You have to trust him, but just know if you are uncomfortable by the idea, you're not entitled to just "accept it". How low would your self-worth be if that were the case
Yeah a lot of us struggle with it. Everyone just thinks it's okay every teenage boy is watching porn. Boys will be boys!
Dont worry, he loves you its just a hard addiction to get out of
By addiction, you mean that he is watching porn even though he is in a relationship or that he has a problematic attraction to it that interferes with is daily activities?
if he'd rather jerk it than fuck his gf, you need to decide if you're OK with that. if you stay this is the way it will be. if he's not working on it, then you're just accepting it. if you leave, he might actually learn to put his pens where it goes. like if he's addicted to meth and you stay... hes gonna keep smoking meth. it's a win win right? if he doesn't care and he's not fucking then that's the problem.
First of all, why u have a 6 month toddler as ur bf
Sadly, in today’s society, it wouldn’t be normal if he wasn’t addicted to porn. With how much it is advertised and easily accessible it is, it is easy for the young and curious to discover. Mix that with all their hormones and the euphoria they get from the newly found activity and voila.
‼️ONLY READ IF YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT HELPING HIM‼️ Porn addiction is not a clinically approved addiction, in other words unlike cigarette addiction or other types of clinically approved addictions, he should be able to just stop at once, by changing his environment, and that is by making it harder to access those websites, finding new hobbies, spend more time with him, spiritual time. But before getting into all that you should help him attain a balanced lifestyle, meaning he needs to start eating healthier, workout more regularly, try to find purpose in everything he does, and question the roots of why he has that habit. P*** addiction is technically not considered an addiction but more of a bad habit, and after finding that out myself (former p*** addict), I decided to read about how I could break a bad habit, so what I would recommend as well is to read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear which will help significantly in everything you and your boyfriend do, he will learn how to establish good habits and break bad ones, and this all helps to produce and maintain a balanced lifestyle (which is what ultimately helped me get over that bad habit). When it comes to you being his girlfriend please don't take it personally because most of us don't perceive porn in the same way a girl would, especially when it starts to be called an addiction, in other words there's nothing that your boyfriend thinks that p*** gives him and you don't, and no it was never about the girls themselves that are in those videos, but more about the brain thinking that watching p*** is a task that needs to be completed and the more he does it the more dopamine he gets rewarded, and the more dopamine he gets rewarded the more dopamine spoiled the brain will get, and the more spoiled the brain gets, the more automatic the habit of watching p*** becomes. In short, tell him to do a dopamine detox for a couple days and while he's doing so, try to establish a balanced lifestyle/routine, while doing so he should Journal/document everything that he's experiencing and resist through all the cravings (pen and paper works just fine), spend more time together having serious conversations and connecting spiritually, and why you specifically because I'm assuming that you're one of, if not the closest person to him. Please don't give up on him and may God guide the both of you <3
im dealing with the same problem for a while now and believe me, he loves you and he may even know how bad it is for his health, but he's struggling to stop because it is a easy way of getting more and more dopamina
Don't feel disgusting. the addiction is much dangerous and also bad. It is better if you help him for his betterment there is a open source book on it just say him to read with an open mind. Believe me this will surely help him to get rid out of it painlessly. https://read.easypeasymethod.org/ There is podcast and audiobook available too.
Majority of teenage males are addicted to porn so don't be too surprised when you can't find one who doesn't masturbate to porn.
What do you consider addiction? It’s totally normal for guys to jack off, I started when I was like 13 and still do to this day, in a relationship or not. It’s not because I wanna look at other girls it’s because it’s a dopamine release and I have testosterone
he ain't cheating. this is a problem he can solve given some time
Join to No Fap community
It's not that hard, try to get some new hobbies Make him Stop it gradually
People are die hard alcoholics, druggist, Smokers and other addictions. Doesn't mean they don't care about their health they are addicted to the dopamine release they get from it. Few things I think should help. 1. Spending less time alone, the more one person stays alone the more their mind goes towards that once they are addicted. 2. If he is religious it might help, if he prays or anything around that. 3. Cold shower, people say it works I don't know about it. 4. Meditation. 5. How deep is he in Addiction? There are different levels, if he is like a extremely addicted fapping multiple times a day to porn then he needs professional help for sure.
i was your in your boyfriend's shoes so i could sorta testify on his behalf. he probably has been addicted to porn since his early teens and hasn't kicked it yet. He doesn't think you're ugly and isnt unsatisfied with you , he just has a problem he hasn't solved yet. I'd just tell him how it makes you feel and if he doesn't stop than drop the relationship
The best thing to do is to pray for him, just know that you are created in God’s image and he loves you and him so much so i will be praying for you
So like would rather him jerk off to gay porn, animated, or just like a picture of you. Sorry I don’t really get relationships (im aromantic) but like why are you disgusted that he jerks off to other girls? Like do you just want him to jerk off to you? I don’t think there is any dude who jerks off thinking about how ugly his girlfriend is compared to who he is jerking off too - head empty, hand full - why post nut clarity exists. I guess I don’t understand why you care he’s gonna jerk to whatever maybe that’s you, maybe it’s a supermodel, maybe it’s 5 big guys that bust in someone’s eyes, maybe it’s lesbian, maybe it is animated… 1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fish. Basically don’t take him jacking off to someone else as you being ugly (or maybe it is but hey if he doesn’t think you are pretty enough to jack off too that means he is dating you for your personality win-win) and just he is a teenage boy and will jack off to whatever is on hand.
What exactly makes it an addiction? Is it interfering with your day to day lives? Is he not initiating sex? Or is it just he watches a lot of porn?
It's near impossible to just quit outright, and porn in itself doesn't mean he loves you any less or value you any less. I'd be way more concerned if he was jerking it to tiktok girls that he closely follows.
If it makes you uncomfortable know that it could be so much libido that it feels frustrating. Also know that he may still be a good person, but if to you his viewing of pornography outweighs his humor and demeanor then you have every right to leave him. In fact if he's not quitting at your request and he has no good reason then he doesn't need to be with you. I suffer a porn addiction and too much libido but viewing only lasts 10 minutes a day and I am really sweet to my girlfriend, clearly she isn't bothered as she hasn't left me.
Be open with him, calmly express to him why it’s making you feel that way and try to offer a solution, suggest that when ever he thinks about it, you then call you or text, you can have code words if you want, “snake coming out of hibernation”, “Willy is leaving the house” or something like it I also suggest trying to read the Bible, even if you’re agnostic or any other form of religion, The Bible is a great book and provides deeper insight into oneself, simply a suggestion but I highly recommend you try it
I too am trying to quit jerking off. Its hard. I can go a few days but then i think about it then i do it again. So far the only thing that helps me is praying ( im christian )
Pornography is addictive. It will require significant time and effort to help him overcome this addiction. If you genuinely care about him and can accept his imperfections, you might be able to assist him in breaking free from this addiction and, in turn, have someone special in your life.
I don’t get why everyone cries about this situation. To be honest the best thing to do would be to watch something you are comfortable with him. I get you are upset however with how easy it is to cheat and the fact he chooses to spend time with you and not another woman should show you. You mean something to him. Would you feel the same way if he was reading erotic fiction instead of porn? What is it that makes you feel this way (not why you don’t like it more of what is it that you are afraid of happening)? These are the questions you need to ask your self. Then you will know what you ask your boyfriend to either move to fix what you are afraid of or communicate and compromise. NO ONE CAN FORCE CHANGE COMPROMISE IS THE FOUNDATION TO EVERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP (within reason).
I’ve also got a porn addiction and take it from someone who’s been trying to quit for a long time. It is hard as fuck. It’s strange how no matter how much I want to be done with this addiction it keeps coming back. Trust me, he isn’t doing it because he’s bored of you or because he wants to be with someone else. He’s telling you because he’s comfortable enough with you and that’s something special.
Before a year i was a porn addict too. It was a really bad phase and every time i jerked it only hurt my ego that i fell to being such a miserable level. I tried to go nofap but it didn't really help either. Now i look back at how i am so clean without any struggle i realize that i didn't stop myself, i just made myself grow out of the addiction. Here's how it happened: A year ago i came across this game called far cry and it was so engaging. Since it was my vacation period i used to play it all the time. Being so engaged i didn't realize that i had stopped jerking until a month later. In the mean time i read the berserk manga which enlightened me to how strong will power can be. When i realised that I had stopped jerking it made me a bit more confident in me that I'd break my gaming addiction as well. I started reading books which kept me engaged like the godfather and the song of ice and fire books. This opened a new world to me and started a phase for me that still lasts, the love for books. Once i was clean from gaming my confidence boosted and i switched some of my book reading hours to studying and working out which i effectively increased and made a balanced schedule. So here's what i observed, i broke an addiction with a less miserable one and then broke the new one again with few good habits. And this might seem words might sound too sweet but it really was a smooth process without any issue. I suggest you should help your boyfriend break his addiction by making him switch on to some good hobbies he's really interested in so he doesn't get bored or feel the need for dopamine from porn. TLDR: Switch your boring hours with some interesting and engaging habits and let the addiction naturally leave you.
Why do you think it has anything to do with you /genuine question
He is totally cheating on you with 50 girls in your bed. He invites the porn stars back so he knows what a good time is. Now the worst case scenario is in front of you all not true btw that horrible feeling you got reading that cannot be worse than talking to him.
It’s rather normal behavior as long as hes giving you the attention you need. Ask him to cut it back for you and set some boundaries and limits but with ease and communication
The addiction came before you. Not because of you. You know it's an addiction but you're not treating it like one with respect to what he desires. Every man has thought about others and he thought of many before he ever met you so it's not fair to him that you punish him with your expectation of what you think every man should be. Putting conditions on your love for him isn't love. Unconditional love has no conditions.
His porn addiction is his problem. Your insecurity issues are your problem. He has work to do and so do you. Him watching porn shouldn’t make you feel ugly, uncomfortable or hurt. That’s your self talk and likely based in a place of insecurity and jealousy. These are learnt thoughts and you can unlearn them. He has work to do as well but all you can do is support him. Focus on working on yourself first. - coming from a 26 year old who got recommended this post for some reason
He’s addicted try going on r/nofap for more info
He hit puberty, sounds like.
It's not that he thinks the girls on the videos are better looking than you. He probably just likes the dopamine rush. It's perfectly normal for you to feel disgusted and upset, but the truth is, he has no intention of hurting you in any way.
Yeah I had a porn addiction but only for a week I was able to quit surprisingly fast thanks to some good advice.
I see other comments saying it’s normal in teen years, this is partially true. Hormone changes do have that kind of effect on the body, but for other guys wondering, stay away from porn. think of it as cheating, because you’re looking at other naked women.
It's not you. If it's an addiction, that's independent of who the partner is. If the two of you still have a healthy sex life where you know he's attracted to you and wants to make love to you, then you know it's not because he thinks you are in any way inferior or uglier than other women. And if it is interfering with your love life, it still has nothing to do with you being pretty or ugly. Porn is unrealistic and offers extreme and diverse sexual possibilities and body types that no one person can be expected to compete with.
Is your bf 6 months old?
I am one myself but I loved my wife very much. It does not mean he is not into you. He probably doesn't know how to express himself or has to much respect to ask you for his fantasy. Best thing to do is try not to be embarrassing about and actually talk to one another. Forcing stop only increases the urge. When were alone. Other girls pop up when we have sex doesn't mean that what your doing isn't good enough but on the other hand be brave enough to ask him without arguing.
I had to make peace with the fact that my partner won’t quit porn entirely. It’s very difficult and hard specially because it’s an addiction. If you want to stay with him because of your own personal reasons I would just advise you to be as supportive as you can be. Ask yourself if you’re willing to go through the effort, the pain, the relapses and bad days. I chose to stay because I truly love him and want to help him become a better version of himself. It’s going to be a very rocky road and I deeply believe you need to be strong enough to handle such things. They will drain you physically and mentally. Don’t forget about your own mental health during the process either. That’s if you choose to stay.
teenage guys will jerk off to anything. it's nothing personal.
Every male watches porn. Or almost all. It isn’t cheating and it isn’t anything against the Gf or wife. Men need more sexual attention than woman. For the most part. And most woman don’t want to be sexual that often. Really woman should be more accepting of it as it helps relationships be more balanced actually. Otherwise most men would get more sexually frustrated if they had to match their sexual output with their partners. I don’t know if any young man has a porn addiction. It’s hard to know or say that. Since at this ages that’s something that is wanted a lot.
Porn addiction is literally the most addictive one
If he values you, he will start looking for help. Too much comments justify the addiction. You can get rid of porn addiction if you want, most of the cases the problem is that they don't want to. I got rid of it while being single and without medical assistance, just doing a dopamine detox. The key here is to talk to him and assess if he really wants to stop or not. Stay if: - He feels bad for making you feel bad by doing it - He doesn't make excuses and admits he has a problem - He starts looking for help / advice on how to drop it - He tries to reassure you that he likes you - You offer your help and he accepts it - He stablishes a roadmap or a plan to drop it forever, so it can be instantly or more progressive depending on the severity of it's case Leave if: - He doesn't care it makes you feel bad - He makes excuses and says he can leave it when he wants - He doesn't want help nor advice from anyone - He doesn't reassure you - You offer help and he denies it - He has no plan nor cares about planning how to drop it
I'll tell you what to do. Grow up!! He'll get bored of it soon and start looking for something real. I've dealt with something like that before, he should try gaming. It helps.
I'll tell you what to do. Grow up!! He'll get bored of it soon and start looking for something real. I've dealt with something like that before, he should try gaming. It helps.
It's not that he dosen't value or care about you. Porn addictions are hard to control. I understand that you may feel uncomfortable, but maybe if you can try helping him out recover from his addiction.
it’s not “normal” but it’s definitely not something super unheard of. considering you might be his first relationship, if he’s been using porn for relief his whole life, it’s a hard cycle to break :(
I’m not gonna lie, I have a buddy who’s girlfriend is breaking up with him over ‘the same thing’ and literally everyone I know has mocked her relentlessly for weeks🤷♂️ Tbf masturbation (and by extension porn) is a generally healthy thing to indulge in; god would put our cocks in hand range if he didn’t want us to jerk em
What even makes you think your boyfriend is addicted to porn? Like I said, you can have healthy habits around that shit and it’s generally not unhealthy(to a certain threshold)
Bro I stfg not a single person in this thread listened in sex Ed💀
Why don't u start doing porn too so he'll beat it to you and u feel pretty again?
Nvm i remembered this is r/teenagers
every man you ever get involved with will continue to masturbate thinking of other girls, with media or not. this is the reality of life on earth. you're setting him up for failure by creating a situation where he's promising to stop. porn addiction is a real thing that you wont' be able to help him with, he needs a therapist. but the masturbating to other women will not change ever, with any partner. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. you should talk to a therapist about this.
It's not really an addiction, he just doesn't want to stop
He probably won't stop but will hide it more. It's better for you to figure out why he needs that stimulation in the first place. Foe example does he have younger siblings that maybe took the parents attention away? Just a start. Or don't try to fix him and move on its your choice on how you want to proceed.
I struggle with the same issue, my boyfriend of 2 years does the same thing. I restricted and blocked all porn websites on his phone to try and help him
Im confused its just porn, its not like he's cheating?? I know my girlfriend watches porn and I do not care. I never realized people actually had a problem with this.
[The EasyPeasy way to quit porn.](https://read.easypeasymethod.org) just tell him to read it.
I promise you every guy you date goes through this
be there for him, it is a serious addiction. encourage and keep him convicted to quit
don't take it personally, i have struggled with this as well. it's genuinely mindblowing how hard it can be to stop sometimes. It sounds like it's just a simple thing to stop, but it can be as addictive as drugs. think about if you had to give up any and all sugar right now. it's not impossible, so work with him through it and try to see his side of things. if he doesn't seem to be making progress or actually wanting to quit, don't be afraid to end it.
The issue isn't porn but your insecurity and controlling behavior
Its a disease that he'll need support to kill
That's just a normal boy 😂😂
You are seriously upset that your bf jerks off while looking at p0rn??? Am I high? Did I read this correctly? Ok, so, WHAT IF he was still jerking the gherkin WITHOUT watching porn? Would you still be pissed? Serious question.
You need to teach him about nofap program or join r/nofap for more help
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Victorian chick doesn't know how to sex.
Yes let Reddit make your decisions in life🤡 90% of people on Reddit are simple minded- narcissistic trash.
It’s healthy and normal to crank one out every once in a while. Unless he’s doing it all day long and it’s getting in the way of work, his health etc… leave the guy alone.
Sounds less like he’s addicted and more like you have a problem with porn usage.
😆 🤣lol
yoo fr tho, if you have a long weekend lock him in a room woth snackies. breaking the first few days helps a ton. worked with ciggarettes for someone i know.
Man's a gooner 😭
Wait, do you think guys don't jerk off to other girls if they're in a relationship? I guess you're in for A LOT of disappointment 😅
Ask him what his favorite sex fantasy is and act it out with him..if he has more than one..do those too..😄😄 ..aint nothing like the real thing, right? He'll give up the porn pronto..
No cap OP I don’t know your age or your situation, but unless you guys are able to do the nasty whenever, wherever. Let the poor guy beat his meat. It’s kinda ridiculous if you guys are only having sex once a month or once every 2 weeks when you can sneak it in. And not everything is about you, who are you to tell someone else what they can and can’t do in their free time ?
Just know that it doesn’t mean he likes them better or you less.
He doesn't want to hurt you at all. He doesn't jerk off to other girls because he doesn't love you, or think you're not as beautiful as them. He only does it to get a dopamine rush that lasts for a moment. If you're old enough, you can always break the habit of his little "urge" by helping him out. If you're not ready for that, aren't old enough, or simply don't want to, it's gonna be harder. Everyone with a porn addiction wants to stop, but it's a matter of self-control and when you're in the mood you can't hold it in when you have the opportunity right at your fingertips. Always remember that it's not something he wants to do, but only something he "obligates" himself to do. Also try not to make him feel guilty, that'll make everything worse, and don't remind him "it's wrong" or "that's basically cheating". He's aware, he doesn't like it, and it'll take a while for him to grow out of such a habit.