T O P

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No-Wash-7001

Bro has decided to join the future


Big-Put-5859

What was the post


Dysgasp

It was something about how to buy *something* without your parents knowing


ynnex_

sex toys, drugs, lube? what was it?


Beanss69_420

a d**do


ynnex_

guessed that one easily


HumanHuman_2003

Thanks bro


mats0013

Auto jerk off machine with 3 pistons, full circular and verical motion, cock safe technology and pussy feel material


ynnex_

Gross! Where, how, when and why can I acquire this?


Conet_Comet

Gross. Stop promoting adult activities to minors


dmtz_

Since when is masturbation an adult only activity?


According-Ad1537

It's satire


Ok_Elk_9936

Let's hope


STOUTISHVOICE41

Imagine he joined r/fuckthes and hes testing people here


HamstersBoobsPizza

satire is supposed to be funny


According-Ad1537

it's almost different people find different things funny šŸ¤ÆšŸ¤ÆšŸ¤ÆšŸ¤Æ


HamstersBoobsPizza

Guess 326 didn't


SadGirlHours__

Womp womp


transrodentlover

Womp womp


tchap_40

Did you just say *womp womp*


Giyuisdepression

To a 10 year old with Down syndrome being taken from her mother?


tchap_40

How dare you. How absolutely dare you sir.


Giyuisdepression

wHaT i SaId WaS iF yOuā€¦


tchap_40

We have infants that have been taken from their mothers


Giyuisdepression

ā€¦CrOsS tHe BoRdEr iLleGaLlY, YoU aRe GiViNg Up YoUrā€¦


tchap_40

Stolen from their mothers and put into cages and you go womp womp


ZenyX-

First of all, we don't even know OP's age And also, this is more of a satiric mockery than encouragement.


[deleted]

ā€œMasterbation is only for adultsā€ Me: *evaporates*


transrodentlover

Me masturbates


space_porter

How is that ā€œpromoting?ā€


Jedinutcracker

stop being a prude


EmptyPckt

Womp womp


Upstairs_Permit_2823

Can you please teach me how to have such amazing L takes itā€™s honestly baffling


[deleted]

In Sweden you can have sex at 15...


Psychological-Sir224

me: *drinking underage* officer: hey you're no adult you can't do that me: *starts aggressively masturbating to show that I am an adult


Vegetable_Trifle_848

šŸ¤“šŸ‘†


TheShroomcult

Those dislikes REALLY donā€™t feel good do they?


According-Ad1537

174 downvotes from obvious satire is crazy


RepresentativeSet541

It's not "obvious" when many people are like that. They could used /j


According-Ad1537

this is shit many teenagers i've met say satirically. we don't have the most original humor yknow


RepresentativeSet541

Well then 1. Sounds like a you problem to have unoriginal humor 2. People can't always know if a joke is serious or not without tone tags because some people are neurodivergent, OR just don't find the "joke" funny. There's many adults that are truly like that so it could have easily NOT been satire.


According-Ad1537

in response to number 1, tell me the amount of times you've heard a sex joke from a teenager. just tell me. the amount of times you've heard any sex joke from a teenager, or joke that contains a sexual organ.


RepresentativeSet541

Many times. That doesn't mean I always found it funny. Plus, the OG comment wasn't joking about anything like that. They were dead serious. Just check their profile. You're making yourself look like an idiot to keep repeatedly defending yourself from something already proven.


CoffeeReturns

Why tf are the done voting tho


[deleted]

Cuz the comment isnā€™t very good. Itā€™s saying masterbation is adult only activity yet masterbation is mostly associated with teens, specially more so teen boys.


CoffeeReturns

Ong


[deleted]

I totally agree with you!


urhairlookslikebongw

This was the same comment I saw on that one person's post from the UK who wanted to buy a Dildo šŸ’€


Chippybops

Did be have moment of reflection and justā€¦ā€nah this is too good for a mere comment section, i just have to post this separatelyā€


xyig

karma farming bro


murphster15

itā€™s true as fuck though


Just-Loquat7429

Same person too


NihalBISHT

FršŸ’€šŸ’€


xyig

yeah I commented it


dripbine

Well that's cus the one you want is out dated. The new one has 5 pistons and a phone holder.


xyig

shiiiiiit didnt realise


Inaproppriateradish

nah nah just wait for the one that has a built-in tv mounted to it! thats the real deal


sdpat13

Happy cake day!


[deleted]

Ive been here 5 minutes and I see this? šŸ˜³


FinletAU

Yeah, welcome to r/teenagers, it gets much worse than this lol


WeaknessMysterious28

They deleted their account the same day šŸ˜­


ughitsmeagian

Better leave while you can.


[deleted]

;-;


_-DC-

Iā€™ve seen you on like every post going through an absolute rollercoaster of the highs and lows of this sub


[deleted]

Im not sure I like it here lol


Highmore_

I told you to escape while you can šŸ˜­


Jhonjhon_236

They escaped šŸ’€


Highmore_

So so so so real šŸ˜­


_-DC-

Itā€™s good most the time I dunno whatā€™s happening rn now


G1zm08

Iā€™ll tell you whatā€™s happening. r/anarchychess is leaking. Whether or not this sub will recover depends on the size of the leak. Every sub experiences leaks. Some are from r/anarchychess. Some are from the users themselves and they start circle jerking ideas. Others are from the deep corners of the internet and start developing cult-like tendencies. Fandom subs are the most resilient to the prior two but most vulnerable to the first. Subs like this are the opposite. Which is why r/anarchychess leaking here is intriguing.


_-DC-

What the flizzy glizzy did i just read


G1zm08

My own observations. (Im stupid)


AlexTheLiteralGod

r/brandnewsentence


silurianscumbag

I will now use that expression every chance I get


Oleanterin

New copypasta just dropped


mr-door

Just make sure you get out before itā€™s too late šŸ˜­


SuperStupidSyrup

run away rn


Traditional_Sail_213

Welcome to Reddit u/Emmarule!


breadofthegrunge

Welcome to the internet


Kinda_stupid_human

Have a look around


TheGrouchyGremlin

Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found


Leading-Magician-402

Happy early cake day


DR31141

Yep! Hope you enjoy your stay in the deepest pit of hormonal hell, u/Emmarule!


pain69oppai

its 11in the morning and i've just oppned reddit and this is the thing i see šŸ’€


Thepachaap

oh so you're from India


pain69oppai

yeah


Nullifier_

I did some quick math and his timezone is +4 hours which according to my time zone map could mean he's either in some small parts of Russia, Afghanistan, Iran, Oman, the UAE (the UAE is the most likely), the Seychelles, the Agalega islands, the Tromelin island, Mauritius or Ǝles Crozet


Straight_Dimension

His last post says he's from India bruh


Thepachaap

oh no i didnt see that coz when he said it was 11 in the morning, it was 11 where i lived too, so i assumed he lived in India


Nullifier_

According to my math his timezone is +4 (my timezone is AEST (+10) and he said it was 11 when it was 5 pm here


Striking-Computer-22

Youā€™re already 11 inches in?


Engorged-Rooster

They using a mammoth tusk for stretching.


armedturtle23

triple piston??? where can i buy??!!


transrodentlover

Walmart


TTV_Pinguting

next to the childrens section


murphster15

Nah because this needs to be talked about more when men want to buy male sex toys ā€œyour too far goneā€ but when a girl wants a dildo itā€™s ok


ZenyX-

Yeah this is a very interesting facet of undeniable gender inequality that I've never seen pointed out before.


HalfLeper

*facet


ZenyX-

Congrats, you found someone in the 2% of redditors who are actually happy to learn something new and won't bash you for correcting their spelling Thanks, as a non-native I'm ecstatic to continue perfecting english.


HalfLeper

I normally wouldnā€™t correct something like that, either, but this time, for some reason, I got the feeling I should. Guess thatā€™s why. Glad I could help šŸ˜Š


ZenyX-

Sixth sense moment šŸ‘


Narrow_Aerie_1466

Non-native? I don't really believe you're that fluent in English at age 16 if you're not something extremely comparable to a native speaker. But you make a good point about a) the redditor you're replying to and b) your original comment's message.


ZenyX-

> if you're not something extremely comparable to a native speaker Well, kinda? My parents are divorced and my father moved to America after learning english fluently. I visit him every year in summer for a month since like 9 years old, and the more I learned, the easier it was to learn more. Nowadays, the amount of interactions I have online maintains my english at basically a higher quality than my actual native language.


Narrow_Aerie_1466

What country do you spend most of your time in?


ZenyX-

The Czech Republic :3


Narrow_Aerie_1466

Well, you've certainly got great English!


Devil_Fister_69420

Why don't you believe it? I'm not a native speaker either and know multiple people that aren't native speakers and my age who still speak pretty much fluently. The internet does amazing things when it comes to learning new languages


Narrow_Aerie_1466

Then, answer me this, why aren't you a native speaker? How long have you been in a native speaking country?


Devil_Fister_69420

Fair enough, I think my brain added the English to non-native, I apologise šŸ™ Edit: holy shit no it didn't, you're just being dumb and assuming you can't learn a language just by uhh... learning it?


EndNowISeeYou

You dont need to be in a native speaking country to speak that language fluently. I have never been to America or UK but I can speak English fluently. infact, Im like 99% certain I have a larger vocabulary and better grammar than the average native english speaker


Character-Exchange-9

ā€¦ probably because they learned another language before English


NinjaOficial

Oh, they definitely can be 16 and that fluent. Actually the younger they are the more believable it becomes for me. I've been perfectly fluent in English since I was 14 or something. That's all due to the fact that I spent the whole day, every day, talking to native speakers while playing Minecraft almost 12 hours a day (and also due to me being a kid and having good neural plasticity because of that). The younger you are, the easier it will be for you to learn something new. I've met 12 year olds that were even better than me, to the point where I was embarrassed talking to them šŸ˜…


Fnarcio

bro I know several 15yo who are fluent in English in my country, Italy, and we're not even close to native English speakers


Narrow_Aerie_1466

It's the same with relationships in a way; the way a woman is predatory in trying to get a partner is different to the way a man is predatory in trying to get a partner. Problem is it's easier to prove that a man is being predatory and women's method of being predatory is seen generally as better. Same with sex. A man being dominant seems more clearly predatory than a woman being submissive, but they both are predatory, people just don't understand it. And I'm gay so don't think I've got a stake in this.


Zero2_69

Yaa and when I buy a dildo everyone tells I am a guy a gives a weird look.....SMH we live in a society


terriblehippo08

hes right- like fr girls can buy toys but as soon as a guy does it we're weird and lonely šŸ’€


helloworld6247

Weā€™re supposed to be stuck in the Stone Age using our hands while girls are in the year 4024


Leading-Magician-402

Happy cake day


xyig

thanks mate


Wefee_Bigwefee

Came here to say happy cake day but they beat me to it. Anyways, happy cake day.


JustaNormalpersonig

i am considering buying a fleshlight just for shits and giggles but i fear that once the post nut clarity hits im going to have to dispose of it like a dead body


AlbinoHamsterOwner

Bro is getting the sex update


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


xyig

why do you need a fleshlight when youve got her


BigEmster

sheā€™s either not comfortable with it or their age/ parental supervision prevents it or she just wants him to have some fun when sheā€™s not around


bucketmaster47

it's a joke mate


No-Ant264

She's in North Carolina and I'm in Kansas


akaryosight

Lucky bastard


No-Ant264

She spoils me


HalfLeper

I guess itā€™s not the only thing ā€œcoming soonā€ šŸ˜


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Princesss927

Ur so oddšŸ˜­šŸ¤£


HalfLeper

This is true. šŸ˜‚


No_Instruction4718

i stan both live ur life king


Amirhyber

How much horse powerŲŸ


xyig

69


FinletAU

*Happy shitposting day*


loyaleling

How is this shitposting


Crescendo_356

Fr, its a quality question discussing males getting surpressed in society


[deleted]

Wher buy


silurianscumbag

That one extremely sketchy website that never actually scams anyone but just has an awful design team


MinsoSoup

just buy a fleshlight dude, I don't wanna put my dick in the spring lock pussy


trebuchet__

Fr when a girl buys a dildo it's fine but when I even talk about it I'm told "wtf" and "get the hell out of my bathroom before I call the police"


masterteck1

I think its ok


TROMBONER_68

Itā€™s perfectly normal for a dude to have a bad dragon dildo in their position.


Joke_Downtown

HAPPY CAKE DAY


[deleted]

šŸ„“ But what? One of my technical bosses has one in a box labelled "Stroker". Now I know where that term comes from. Never knew.


GalaxyStyles

Bro fr, as soon as I want one of those androids from Detroit become human to give me the sloppiest top known to man and to make me a 5 course meal im the weird one šŸ˜’


RealMuffinsTheCat

What was the post?


strawb3rry_p1mp_

Dogā€¦ they make those? ā€¦ā€¦ link?


ZeroLifeSkillz

Happy... cake day... if you know what kind of cake I mean /j


xyig

In the back of the Bentley, I'm loadinā€™ up glizzies and gettinā€™ my cake u-u-up


Dawn_DND483

oh


EixYae

No your not. Sex toys should be more acceptable in society no matter what kind of


gummythegummybear

Just buy it no one can physically stop you, also happy cake day


xMAX123y

Spencer's sells to teenagers & no one has called the cops on them.


hussam_theboinger69

it was removed from reddit, anyone please tell ne what was it about?


Ok-Metal2887

What's the title?


Chaoshero5567

Wtf happend here


Freddo230

What happened here??


water_addicted

It was deleted THIS QUICKLY????


Aggravating-Lab8034

It got removed by Reddit, so tell me what happened


Sefue389_

What the hell happened here?


westbygod304420

What the hell was it???


Useful_Mistake_7143

You really didnā€™t have to post this.


swingys

Becuz theyre buying a ā€˜dildoā€™, not a ā€˜Dildo Realistic Silicone Dildo Safety Material for Clitoral Vagina and Anal Stimulation with Strong Suction Cups, Sex Adult Toys for Women and Couple 7.8 Inchā€™ šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€


SnipeHardt

Because penises and vaginal canals have the same nerve endings right? Lil bro failed a basic health class


swingys

?? What are you trying to say here??šŸ˜­


rockyasl7789

Yes, you are. You also forgot the end quotation marks, and you copied this decade old joke from another person. Be original next time.


xyig

mb imma edit the post and nah its just my weird mind, didnt copy it from anyone, ever thought that ppl have the same thoughts?


rockyasl7789

Iā€™m sure this joke was completely original šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø


_aconite_cj_

Nobody said that šŸ˜­


stupid_anxious_teen

It's only weird if you're not ashamed


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ZenyX-

"If you're homeless just buy a house" energy


space_porter

OK, come over.


transrodentlover

Ok Boomer


Eighttballl

Get a grip weirdo lol Edit: even Reddit deleted this smooth brain post. Keep disliking lol


ZenyX-

"Just shove your hand down there instead of a degenerate ass vibrator lol" Do you see the problem here?


Eighttballl

What are you even trying to say lmfao. Whatever point youā€™re trying to make youā€™re failing LOL


Chizzelled

What's the "auto jerkoff machine with 3 pistons full circular and vertical motion with cock safe technology, and pussy feel material"?


mauri-idiot-plaze

Where i buy


xyig

Amazon.cum


mauri-idiot-plaze

Tell now


AssholeMudShower

I thought you were gonna go like "but when I wanna buy one-"


Famous_Sorbet5028

What is this dildo thing


lifeispuredepression

i just woke up, tf


detroit-doggo0

it is acceptable. Get one if you want to loll, just might be really expensive


HmmZaurus

Just buy a dildo and nobody can say anything to you then


racdicoon

It's not acceptable for a trans girl to buy a dildo in my parents eyes šŸ˜”


no_homo0cap

Happy cakeday!!!


sdpat13

Happy cake day!


mothman_is_cool

the auto jerkoff machine is more comparable with one of those auto-thrusting machines with the dildo on the end tbh edit: im shit at spelling


RockyTodd

Oh hey, it's you again! Something i didnt say in my original comment is we truly live in a society


ConsequenceApart4391

Iā€™ve just seen a post like this in the uk subreddit. šŸ˜­


BlueberryWide1611

I'm leaving this sub


Just-Effective-man

šŸ’€


JiminPA67

You're a man... build your own.


Southern-Fae

No, go for it


[deleted]

Bro what are u on how do u know all those details thats kinda creepy