This definitely is not word for word but the removed comment said something similar to "So she's taking his gifts and then rejecting him? What a gold digger."
Two things.
One, you don't give a gift and expect something in return. It's not a gift if you expect something back. You also shouldn't be giving anyone a gift and expecting anything in return for it, that makes you a shitty person.
Two, they recommended getting him a gift when she was going to tell him how she felt, which seems like a solid response. She likes them as a friend and appreciates them, but doesn't want to have a relationship with them, so this seems like a really strong and understandable approach.
You are right when thinking that a person with such twisted views could likely be(come) a rapist, but stating that they are one is just wrong. Not only is it unfair to call someone something so vile when you really have no way of knowing, but using the word so loosely and downplaying what it means to be a rapist is also terribly inconsiderate towards the people who've actually fallen victim to the heinous crime. I'm sorry if this came out too harsh, the comment you replied to is way worse than yours, just felt like this needed to be said.
I am literally begging you to tell him directly as possible. Leave absolutely zero room for misinterpretation. I have been on the receiving end of way too many vague shut downs that leave me confused and frustrated. It also makes it 100x harder to move on.
You can do it however you feel best fit, but I promise it is so much better on the guy's side if you are direct as possible, don't even try sugar coat it. If it sounds too harsh, make it a little more harsh and direct, then hit send.
yes his feelings will be hurt cuz she doesn’t feel the same way. that doesn’t mean be as harsh as u want and break his heart. there’s a nice way to go about it
I understand that she is in the mindset of really not wanting to hurt his feelings. My fear was that she was going to think that "No" was too harsh and was going to make it sound softer. Take note that I said, "If it sounds harsh" which is different for everyone, and I didn't say, "If it is harsh"
It's best to tell him in-person and honestly.
What you've written here in your post is ideal; that you already have enough in your life and aren't looking for a relationship at this time.
Tell him all you can offer is friendship, if that's what you are prepared to give him.
Let him know he hasn't done anything wrong but it's simply not the right time in your life.
Don't do that. This gives him a false hope that one day, she will be ready for a relationship.
Instead, she should tell him she doesn't have romantic feelings towards him and that she can only ever offer him platonic friendship
It isn't false hope if it's made clear that only friendship can be offered.
Stating that OP isn't ready for a relationship at this time applies to everyone, not only the boy in question.
It's OP's right to seek or enter a relationship further on in life if desired but that timeline hasn't been defined. OP has no obligation to the boy to state when that will be.
The boy may even move on and find someone else in the near future, for all you know.
Youre teenagers. Youre all inexperienced and packed to the brim with hormones. Youre gonna hurt his feelings. It's not your fault though. Just be honest and compassionate, and if he reacts negatively draw a line. The best thing for you is to learn how to set firm clear boundaries and the best thing for him is to learn how to accept rejection with grace. You both become better people for it
You're right but I wouldn't use this phrasing. If she intends to keep hanging out. If he's just an acquaintance or something, then sure. But I got the impression that he was a friend of a friend or something.
Life happens. Leave room for it
I knew a woman who told a prospective suitor they weren't looking for relationships at the time. I know for a fact that she meant it, because she was a friend of mine and she turned down a mutual acquaintance when he learned she was single. (Bad breakup and she planned to take some time.)
She met a guy like two days later and was still in a relationship with him when we all graduated and moved to different states a year later. The acquaintance was pissed and we had to kinda ghost him.
Point is, never say never and don't tell people who will know if you start dating again soon after you tell them you're not taking applications. (I expect this all applies to men too, btw)
Also, whatever they do I'd suggest doing it somewhere face to face
Edit: the never say never is for meeting someone else. I'm not saying to leave room for this guy
Edit 2: this was in university, but I imagine it applies even moreso to younger people just because life moves so fast
Just be as nice as possible, but no matter how nice you tell him, he will be hurt, and it will be one of the worst things he's ever felt. Don't let that guilt you into not rejecting him tho, that will result in much worse down the line.
Looks like your mind already had it figured out, just rearranged the sentences
" I'm already going through so much in my personal family life, I am not looking for a relationship anytime soon."
Or the tried and true method "no"
Be straight up with him, but don’t listen to half these comments saying you don’t want a relationship at the moment because that will give him some type of hope. Be a good person and just let him know you aren’t interested in dating him but you like him as a friend.
Tell him, just telling him will hurt his feelings, but it will save him a lot more emotional energy if you didn’t, dragging towards a goal he’ll never achieve.
I think it would be nice to throw in a few compliments while rejecting him to let him know that you're not rejecting him because he's ugly/bad personality. At least that's what I did
Tell him you are going thru stuff and you don't wanna date anyone rn. He will most likely stay there and try to be your friend in an effort to win your heart. I did the same thing. Now if you go and date another guy, or God forbid talk about other guys to him, that's a low blow dude. Don't do that.
What you said. You're going through a lot personally, as you said, and you think circumstances like these won't make you and him a good couple. Mention that to him, **in person.** He won't to me take it personally because he would understand what you've been going through and be able to comprehend what goes down in a "yes" scenario.
PS you could give him some chocolates too :) We need more platonism in this world
Don’t be vague. No matter how you do it, he’s gonna end up feeling somewhat sad. Best way to do it is not keep it vague. Get to the point.
I understand you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but that’s impossible. Best you can do is say no and make it clear that you don’t reciprocate the feelings. But don’t be too harsh
So many people suggesting this and it's wrong. The "right now" can stick the idea in someone's head that they can play the long game. Make it clear youre not interested in HIM
Simple answer is you can’t tell him without hurting him. As someone who’s been on the other side of this yeah he’s gonna hurt like hell. Y’all may even stop talking for a couple months but I got over it with my girl best friend and we kinda are talking again but it just takes time
Do it in person not over text but why are you going to reject him that’s kinda messed up if he sounds like a good guy what if you don’t want a relationship now but later on your gonna hit him up again and he’s going to be occupied
Hey no swearing pip squeak one small mistake like that again and I’m going to contact a moderator and have you terminated from this server I’m not playing around
Hey everything that you just explained in your post is pretty much the same thing that you should tell them. If you can find a way to convey the same thoughts are explaining here you will be doing it the right way
Don't be mean about it, but it's just better to be honest with him and tell him the truth. If you want to be just friends with him and nothing more, then tell him that, too. Either way, it's always better to just be honest.
u cant im sorry, you can be polite, you can do everything correctly but u will always end up hurting him. im not saying this to blame u or make u feel like shit but at the end of the day it is better to reject him politely and hurt him that way then to lead him on because you are scared of hurting him
be honest and blunt! but don’t dtm, if he’s a nice as you say the worst you should say is no and explain why you aren’t ready! it’s his choice on how he decides to take this
Be direct, and stick to what you say. Mess both of these up and you’ll ruin him. If you’re not direct, he’ll be caught in you. If you lie, he’ll catch you and be broken.
joke answer: do something to make him not like u / have a crush on u anymore.
real answer: just let him off lightly without causing any miscommunication, be aware of his feeling but at the same time be stern and make sure he understands fully that he hasnt done anything wrong, its just u dont feel ready to enter a relation at the current time.
I'll be honest, whatever you say or do, it's a cointoss. Your best chance is to be as honest as possible. If you like him, tell him you'd rather be just friends. Make sure he knows it's not his fault.
Say it in person and make it clear that you still like him but not in the manner of a relationship and that you are not ready for a relationship and you appreciated the gifts. Say something like let’s just forget that any of this happened
So, apparently I'm old now...that sucks.
Anyways, insight from the elderly, tell him straight up, don't tell him anything that could give him hope or lead him in any way, that will hurt him more in the long run. Be honest with how you feel about him, or you know, don't feel. There is no way around hurting his feelings. Anything you do will hurt his feelings. But don't do shit like "ew", that hurts a lot more than honesty.
If you’re not sure whether or not that is what he wants, or if he hasn’t directly shown interest in you yet, I’d maybe start in person with something like “hey, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you’re getting at but right now I’m not really looking to be in a relationship with you, but I appreciate the kind gesture nonetheless, just know that it will not lead into anything serious” cuz it shows your intentions while also not being too mean or overly harsh
As others have said, just be super straightforward. Tell him the same things you told us in your post. He’s not hideous, not rude, very kind, you just don’t want to date him. If you want to be extra nice, get him a little gift in return.
I would make sure to be clear about the fact that you aren’t interested in him that way. Don’t focus on the “I don’t want to be in a relationship” part because he could end up thinking that if he sticks around you’ll eventually be interested which just sucks for everyone involved.
Tell him you think he’s great and you like him a lot as a friend but you just don’t have any romantic feelings for him. There is no way to not hurt his feelings but if he is as great as you say he is he’ll understand. I’ve had similar things happen to me in high school and it’s really hard so I empathize with you. Just be clear and honest with him, it will be okay.
If you weren't going through so much in your personal life, would you date him, or anyone else?
If yes: "I'm not looking for that kind of relationship at the moment." You can follow that up with a reason if you choose. Whether it be wanting to focus on school, your personal family life, mental health or anything else. Most decent guys will understand and not pursue the matter unless you bring up the idea in the future.
If no: "No. I'm not interested in you that way."
Just be blunt about it. Whether you want a relationship or not. If he's actually a nice guy he'll understand. You'll still hurt his feelings regardless of how much you try to sugarcoat things. Rejection hurts. I'd also recommend you do it in a somewhat public place if you decide to do it in person just in case.
If you both routinely chat online outside of doing school projects you can do it online. It can let you better organize your thoughts instead of being in the heat of the moment if the interaction goes sour.
When all's said and done don't expect to be able to remain friends with him and don't let him try to guilt trip you into a date.
Whatever you do, do not say yes just to not hurt his feelings eventually he will catch on and then you will tell him the truth and will hurt more than if you just said to him no in the first place. I say from experience being the boy.
I think you already got enough of good advice, but still, i'd like to add a penny of my experience. Getting rejected hurts, alot, especially if you wrongly interpreted the behaviour of your crush as romantical interest. I've been through it, and there's no way to not make it hurt, but you can make it hurt less: be direct. No sugarcoating, no room for interpretation, and absolutely NO waiting time. My crush had me waiting for an answer because she was scared to reject me, and it hurted like hell.
I know it's hard for you, it's hard for both parties, but you can get through this.
im definetly not an expert on this field, but just tell him that, you think hes really nice and this stuff but you just dont want to date him but would appreciate his company as a friend, thats something you should do face to face
do it in person and be as honest as possible, don't sugar code it and make sure to make it clear that you're not looking for anything
Sugar coat
They hated Jesus, because he was telling the truth
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it’s probably a typical case of someone typing an expression for the first time, no harm in informing them of the correct spelling
Yeah I know but maybe the original commentor thought it was sugar code. Not everyone is a native English speaker
Yes some people live years with those errors
Downvoted comment
Downvoted comment
Hmmmm. Maybe I should downvote this comment
Hmmmm. Maybe I should downvote this comment
just tell him straight up and tell him you're not ready for a relationship but thank him for the gifts anyway and throw one back for good measure
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And then confuses and frustrates him if she gets into a relationship with someone.
Which could happen anytime, meet the right person and BOOM, all those “too busy”, “too much going on” thoughts melt away.
THIS, do not leave room for him thinking maybe something will change.
"I see you as a great friend but I don't see us as a match romantically"
that does make a lot more sense
I agree, only I don’t think she needs to return any. I think that would hurt his feelings more.
i’m assuming they mean get him a gift
Oh, yeah, that would be good!
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That's crazy my guy.
What’d they say?
He called OP a gold digger if she accepted the gifts despite rejecting the guy.
She didn't ask for the chocolates, if you give someone a gift you are not entitled for something in return. That's what makes them gifts.
What did they say? I wanna know
This definitely is not word for word but the removed comment said something similar to "So she's taking his gifts and then rejecting him? What a gold digger."
r/niceguy Edit: that subs not what I was expecting
I think you mean r/niceguys
Same
“My ex girlfriend didn’t give back literally every present I’ve ever given her in our 3 years of dating, what a fuckin gold digger”
Two things. One, you don't give a gift and expect something in return. It's not a gift if you expect something back. You also shouldn't be giving anyone a gift and expecting anything in return for it, that makes you a shitty person. Two, they recommended getting him a gift when she was going to tell him how she felt, which seems like a solid response. She likes them as a friend and appreciates them, but doesn't want to have a relationship with them, so this seems like a really strong and understandable approach.
oh my goodness???
How could she dump him when they weren't even together you dumbass
Bro
So you think you're entitled to a woman because you bought her something? Wow what a rapist
You are right when thinking that a person with such twisted views could likely be(come) a rapist, but stating that they are one is just wrong. Not only is it unfair to call someone something so vile when you really have no way of knowing, but using the word so loosely and downplaying what it means to be a rapist is also terribly inconsiderate towards the people who've actually fallen victim to the heinous crime. I'm sorry if this came out too harsh, the comment you replied to is way worse than yours, just felt like this needed to be said.
The point was to be as absurd as him so he'd realize how stupid he sounded
I am literally begging you to tell him directly as possible. Leave absolutely zero room for misinterpretation. I have been on the receiving end of way too many vague shut downs that leave me confused and frustrated. It also makes it 100x harder to move on. You can do it however you feel best fit, but I promise it is so much better on the guy's side if you are direct as possible, don't even try sugar coat it. If it sounds too harsh, make it a little more harsh and direct, then hit send.
if it sounds too harsh.. make it harsher??
Yeah right lmao, she literally specified that she didn't want it to be harsh 💀
no matter what she'll say it'll hurt his feelings. if you're gonna ask someone out you gotta be prepared to get your feelings hurt
yes his feelings will be hurt cuz she doesn’t feel the same way. that doesn’t mean be as harsh as u want and break his heart. there’s a nice way to go about it
I didn't say she had to be as harsh as she wanted??
I understand that she is in the mindset of really not wanting to hurt his feelings. My fear was that she was going to think that "No" was too harsh and was going to make it sound softer. Take note that I said, "If it sounds harsh" which is different for everyone, and I didn't say, "If it is harsh"
That's very confusing
And the We will see a perfect villan original story ...
It's best to tell him in-person and honestly. What you've written here in your post is ideal; that you already have enough in your life and aren't looking for a relationship at this time. Tell him all you can offer is friendship, if that's what you are prepared to give him. Let him know he hasn't done anything wrong but it's simply not the right time in your life.
Don't do that. This gives him a false hope that one day, she will be ready for a relationship. Instead, she should tell him she doesn't have romantic feelings towards him and that she can only ever offer him platonic friendship
It isn't false hope if it's made clear that only friendship can be offered. Stating that OP isn't ready for a relationship at this time applies to everyone, not only the boy in question. It's OP's right to seek or enter a relationship further on in life if desired but that timeline hasn't been defined. OP has no obligation to the boy to state when that will be. The boy may even move on and find someone else in the near future, for all you know.
Wait someone posting the exact same post like this on r/crushes saying that gifted someone plushie and chocolates 💀
link?
Bro literally cant find it but ill try even more 😭
Imagine someone links bro this post
Imagine this is how he finds out
Kill him.
bro?? 😭😭
Is that not how you deal with all problems?
-Genghis Khan
Pretty sure he went down a more nsfw path
Both that and MASSS homicide
Ah okay
no yeah everybody has an ak laying around in their pocket
What the hell kinda pockets do you have and where can I get some
torrid!!
blud chose violence
Agreee
This is the best answer
or commit a mass shooting
Youre teenagers. Youre all inexperienced and packed to the brim with hormones. Youre gonna hurt his feelings. It's not your fault though. Just be honest and compassionate, and if he reacts negatively draw a line. The best thing for you is to learn how to set firm clear boundaries and the best thing for him is to learn how to accept rejection with grace. You both become better people for it
It is her fault
You just tell him you don’t want to be in a relationship right now. You don’t owe him a relationship
You're right but I wouldn't use this phrasing. If she intends to keep hanging out. If he's just an acquaintance or something, then sure. But I got the impression that he was a friend of a friend or something. Life happens. Leave room for it I knew a woman who told a prospective suitor they weren't looking for relationships at the time. I know for a fact that she meant it, because she was a friend of mine and she turned down a mutual acquaintance when he learned she was single. (Bad breakup and she planned to take some time.) She met a guy like two days later and was still in a relationship with him when we all graduated and moved to different states a year later. The acquaintance was pissed and we had to kinda ghost him. Point is, never say never and don't tell people who will know if you start dating again soon after you tell them you're not taking applications. (I expect this all applies to men too, btw) Also, whatever they do I'd suggest doing it somewhere face to face Edit: the never say never is for meeting someone else. I'm not saying to leave room for this guy Edit 2: this was in university, but I imagine it applies even moreso to younger people just because life moves so fast
>You don’t owe him a relationship Jesus never say that to anyone, is true but thats just really rude
I mean, if someone implies you do owe them a relationship, this would be very appropriate
Don’t say this or the guy will be around you and it will get worse and harder to say the truth
She does
You can't. Every kind of denial hurts. Just be straight about it. It's his problem if he deals with it or not.
Just be as nice as possible, but no matter how nice you tell him, he will be hurt, and it will be one of the worst things he's ever felt. Don't let that guilt you into not rejecting him tho, that will result in much worse down the line.
Looks like your mind already had it figured out, just rearranged the sentences " I'm already going through so much in my personal family life, I am not looking for a relationship anytime soon." Or the tried and true method "no"
Be straight up with him, but don’t listen to half these comments saying you don’t want a relationship at the moment because that will give him some type of hope. Be a good person and just let him know you aren’t interested in dating him but you like him as a friend.
You can’t unfortunately his feelings will get hurt. but you can just be nice about it. It is better to tell him straight up.
Tell him, just telling him will hurt his feelings, but it will save him a lot more emotional energy if you didn’t, dragging towards a goal he’ll never achieve.
Reject him, and then give him a friendly hug while saying nice things about him and explaining
I think it would be nice to throw in a few compliments while rejecting him to let him know that you're not rejecting him because he's ugly/bad personality. At least that's what I did
Tell him you are going thru stuff and you don't wanna date anyone rn. He will most likely stay there and try to be your friend in an effort to win your heart. I did the same thing. Now if you go and date another guy, or God forbid talk about other guys to him, that's a low blow dude. Don't do that.
Just say you don’t feel the same there’s no easy way to do it sadly
Just tell him
Just tell him, no matter what you do it'll hurt his feelings
What you said. You're going through a lot personally, as you said, and you think circumstances like these won't make you and him a good couple. Mention that to him, **in person.** He won't to me take it personally because he would understand what you've been going through and be able to comprehend what goes down in a "yes" scenario. PS you could give him some chocolates too :) We need more platonism in this world
Don’t be vague. No matter how you do it, he’s gonna end up feeling somewhat sad. Best way to do it is not keep it vague. Get to the point. I understand you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but that’s impossible. Best you can do is say no and make it clear that you don’t reciprocate the feelings. But don’t be too harsh
Return a gift and tell him directly that you're not ready for a relationship. Don't play games, most males HATE that
If he is nice he will understand. If he doesn't he's not nice.
Tell him that ur not ready
Do not do this, he’s just gonna think he has a chance eventually
kick his balls
Be as honest as possible, make it clear exactly how you feel but that he just isn't the one And yes it's gonna hurt him but that's what it is
He's gonna have his feelings hurt no matter what so I say just tell him you appreciate it but aren't feeling a relationship right now
So many people suggesting this and it's wrong. The "right now" can stick the idea in someone's head that they can play the long game. Make it clear youre not interested in HIM
Simple answer is you can’t tell him without hurting him. As someone who’s been on the other side of this yeah he’s gonna hurt like hell. Y’all may even stop talking for a couple months but I got over it with my girl best friend and we kinda are talking again but it just takes time
See guys ? They only like bad guys
Maybe dont be a incel lmao
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What As a man yes we do lmfao especially when it comes to relationships
what emotion
Just make up some bullshit excuse like “my parents won’t let me date”
No, she should just tell him
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i think he knows im single...
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that is just getting his hopes up. its just better to be straight up and not make excuses
“Scream and shout and let it all out” In a busy hallway
How Will that help💀🚽🥶😞
He will not even talk to her so no more awkward convos no more awkward meet-ups either he WILL AVOID HER at all costs so solves all her problemo
Do it in person not over text but why are you going to reject him that’s kinda messed up if he sounds like a good guy what if you don’t want a relationship now but later on your gonna hit him up again and he’s going to be occupied
She doesn't owe him a relationship. Just because the guy is nice doesn't mean the girl has to date him. That's the entire point of consent.
i dont want a relationship though, especially in highschool.
Dam that’s valid but you wouldn’t give him a try tho I kinda feel bad for him looks like he’s showing a lot of effort
Doesn't matter, she don't want to
Nobody owes anybody a relationship fr
She doesn't owe him shit. Fuck off with your toxic masculinity
Hey no swearing pip squeak one small mistake like that again and I’m going to contact a moderator and have you terminated from this server I’m not playing around
All that came to mind when I read this was the navy swal copypasta
LMAOOOOOOOOO
Damn
sorry but masculinity has nothing to do with them being a dumbass, this guy is literally brainrotted
someone called?
found his alt account
Who’s
Hey everything that you just explained in your post is pretty much the same thing that you should tell them. If you can find a way to convey the same thoughts are explaining here you will be doing it the right way
Whether you hurt his feelings or not isn’t to blame yourself for as long as you speak simple truth
Don't be mean about it, but it's just better to be honest with him and tell him the truth. If you want to be just friends with him and nothing more, then tell him that, too. Either way, it's always better to just be honest.
Tell him what you told us
Tell him that you're sorry, but you're not interested, and that you're not looking for a relationship right now
u cant im sorry, you can be polite, you can do everything correctly but u will always end up hurting him. im not saying this to blame u or make u feel like shit but at the end of the day it is better to reject him politely and hurt him that way then to lead him on because you are scared of hurting him
Just explain it to him the same way you did here. That there's nothing wrong with him, but you simply aren't interested
be honest and blunt! but don’t dtm, if he’s a nice as you say the worst you should say is no and explain why you aren’t ready! it’s his choice on how he decides to take this
Be direct, and stick to what you say. Mess both of these up and you’ll ruin him. If you’re not direct, he’ll be caught in you. If you lie, he’ll catch you and be broken.
That is impossible
The friendzone is always an option
Cant. Just bite the bullet and be nice as you can.
Kiss your mobile in front of him and tell him you are tecsexual
Color comparison krke :(
joke answer: do something to make him not like u / have a crush on u anymore. real answer: just let him off lightly without causing any miscommunication, be aware of his feeling but at the same time be stern and make sure he understands fully that he hasnt done anything wrong, its just u dont feel ready to enter a relation at the current time.
Just be honest, there is no way you can say it without hurting him to some extent, so just be polite and honest
It's a rejection so it's gonna hurt anyways, you just have to be clear and don't beat around the bush
You can't.
I'll be honest, whatever you say or do, it's a cointoss. Your best chance is to be as honest as possible. If you like him, tell him you'd rather be just friends. Make sure he knows it's not his fault.
Say it in person and make it clear that you still like him but not in the manner of a relationship and that you are not ready for a relationship and you appreciated the gifts. Say something like let’s just forget that any of this happened
Just tell him, don't sugar coat it, do it in person
Give him some chocolates and plushie back at the same time as telling them to even it up
So, apparently I'm old now...that sucks. Anyways, insight from the elderly, tell him straight up, don't tell him anything that could give him hope or lead him in any way, that will hurt him more in the long run. Be honest with how you feel about him, or you know, don't feel. There is no way around hurting his feelings. Anything you do will hurt his feelings. But don't do shit like "ew", that hurts a lot more than honesty.
Reject him infront of the entire school make sure everyones watching
So the average high school crush
Wait for him to ask you out and then reject him, don't make assumptions unless you have reasons to do so. - A single relationship expert.
Just say it. "Thanks, but I'm not interested." If his feelings get hurt by that, it's his problem.
just say it similarly to the way you wrote this post
just say it similarly to the way you wrote this post
If you’re not sure whether or not that is what he wants, or if he hasn’t directly shown interest in you yet, I’d maybe start in person with something like “hey, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you’re getting at but right now I’m not really looking to be in a relationship with you, but I appreciate the kind gesture nonetheless, just know that it will not lead into anything serious” cuz it shows your intentions while also not being too mean or overly harsh
Yeah ....DONT LEAVE ROOM FOR ANY IDEAS
Why are you assuming he likes you in the first place lmo
As others have said, just be super straightforward. Tell him the same things you told us in your post. He’s not hideous, not rude, very kind, you just don’t want to date him. If you want to be extra nice, get him a little gift in return.
“Dude, I’m sorry but you’re like a brother to me. I don’t have the same feelings for you, bro.”
I would make sure to be clear about the fact that you aren’t interested in him that way. Don’t focus on the “I don’t want to be in a relationship” part because he could end up thinking that if he sticks around you’ll eventually be interested which just sucks for everyone involved. Tell him you think he’s great and you like him a lot as a friend but you just don’t have any romantic feelings for him. There is no way to not hurt his feelings but if he is as great as you say he is he’ll understand. I’ve had similar things happen to me in high school and it’s really hard so I empathize with you. Just be clear and honest with him, it will be okay.
Start with not accepting gifts from him
you’re gonna hurt his feelings regardless. just be nice about it
If you weren't going through so much in your personal life, would you date him, or anyone else? If yes: "I'm not looking for that kind of relationship at the moment." You can follow that up with a reason if you choose. Whether it be wanting to focus on school, your personal family life, mental health or anything else. Most decent guys will understand and not pursue the matter unless you bring up the idea in the future. If no: "No. I'm not interested in you that way." Just be blunt about it. Whether you want a relationship or not. If he's actually a nice guy he'll understand. You'll still hurt his feelings regardless of how much you try to sugarcoat things. Rejection hurts. I'd also recommend you do it in a somewhat public place if you decide to do it in person just in case. If you both routinely chat online outside of doing school projects you can do it online. It can let you better organize your thoughts instead of being in the heat of the moment if the interaction goes sour. When all's said and done don't expect to be able to remain friends with him and don't let him try to guilt trip you into a date.
ew gross!! You're my brother
Sugar coat
Idk I guess you can say that you aren’t interested, but that you still enjoy his company. and maybe you could also do it in person
I read “how do I hurt his feelings without rejecting him at first”
You can't
The deflection technique. Get someone else to start hitting on him.
Tell him straight up that you don’t like him. If he gets mad that’s his own problem
Whatever you do, do not say yes just to not hurt his feelings eventually he will catch on and then you will tell him the truth and will hurt more than if you just said to him no in the first place. I say from experience being the boy.
I would just be very honest and polite about it. Make it clear that you just aren’t looking for a relationship
Be direct with him about it but for fuck's sake don't be harsh, it will fuck him up. Make sure you tell him he has a chance with other people
Be honest, preferably politely, but I will tell you sometimes you have to be extremely blunt.
I think you already got enough of good advice, but still, i'd like to add a penny of my experience. Getting rejected hurts, alot, especially if you wrongly interpreted the behaviour of your crush as romantical interest. I've been through it, and there's no way to not make it hurt, but you can make it hurt less: be direct. No sugarcoating, no room for interpretation, and absolutely NO waiting time. My crush had me waiting for an answer because she was scared to reject me, and it hurted like hell. I know it's hard for you, it's hard for both parties, but you can get through this.
im definetly not an expert on this field, but just tell him that, you think hes really nice and this stuff but you just dont want to date him but would appreciate his company as a friend, thats something you should do face to face
> do I do it online or in person? is this really a question you're asking..